The Ryen Russillo Podcast - Life Advice

Episode Date: August 5, 2025

Russillo is joined by Kyle and Wargon for a full episode of Life Advice questions! They share their advice on how to navigate the thermostat battle, whether to do lawn work for a neighbor, and whether a solo trip following a breakup is a good idea. Check us out on YouTube for exclusive clips, livestreams, and more at https://www.youtube.com/@RyenRussilloPodcast. The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming. Please visit www.rg-help.com to learn more about the resources and helplines available. Host: Ryen Russillo Producers: Steve Ceruti, Kyle Crichton, Mike Wargon, and Jonathan Frias Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Summer time means a full episode of Life Advice, timely ones, including Traveler, the Golden, on your birthday. So Kyle and Oregon, bring it on this one. Enjoy. Bring it on this one. Enjoy. A full edition of Life Advice. LifeAdviceRR at gmail.com. Oregon and Kyle are here. So we are locked and loaded and ready to go. Good to see you boys. So let's start with a little thermostat stuff. Big fan of the pod. Figured it was finally time to write in. 33 married with two young kids, living out in LA. Life is good overall, but I'm currently battling

what might be the greatest challenge in our very happy marriage, the thermostat. First, for context, my NBA comp is Sasha Vujicic. When the shot's falling, I'm on fire, but when I'm off, it's air balls and side-eyes from the bench. That inconsistency carries over into the home climate situation.

Here's the deal, my wife could sleep comfortably in a sweatshirt in the middle of a Katari summer. She's basically unbothered by heat and gets genuinely irritated if the AC kicks on even slightly. Meanwhile, I'm just a regular guy trying to keep the house somewhere between 72 and 74 degrees without feeling like I'm melting into the mattress. Man, I'll tell you right now, it's 72, 74 during the summer. That's not me, man. Couldn't be me. What do you need it at? Kyle, what do you need it at? I think I'll start with a base at 68 and decide if I can kick it up to 69, 70, and then I'll probably be heading back down towards 68.

I'm a 68 guy myself. Morgan? How the other half lives, I don't have a thermostat. I got two window air conditioners. They're on at all times always, and you hope for the best. All right. Yeah, city living. Yeah. City living. But wait, it gets worse.

In the winter, she also refuses to use the heat. We'll wake up and it's 56 degrees inside, and she's just fine. Says she doesn't like any air, hot or cold, blowing on her. All right, so this isn't just a female running hot because the men out there in the game, in the trenches getting the innings in, we know how that runs. It's just like, man. Yeah, this is unreasonable.

They don't want to be cold. She just doesn't want air. I don't understand it or that. I've tried reasoning, layering, fans, open windows, you name it, I swear I'm not being dramatic when I say the biggest ongoing issue in our otherwise rock solid relationship is this. So what do I do here?

Fall on the sword, go full happy, wife happy, life, try to reclaim at least a degree or two of climate, control sanity, or is it some mythical compromise I haven't even considered? appreciate any wisdom from the council? Man it sounds like she's just determined like this is a placebo thing with her where she probably could be more comfortable. And she's just decided she doesn't like air at all. And it's this is like, I'm so frustrated for you even just reading this recounting this story. I'm like, this sucks. Like I got the original part of it when he was like, I don't want to be cold,

right? She doesn't care. That happens a lot. But now i'll also be freezing in the winter and i don't want to see. That's like hot. I think i would probably try to take a stand more in the summer than in the winter you know you can put some on if you need to i'm gonna have to do any of this. if you need to, I mean, you shouldn't have to do any of this. It sounds like, you know, it sounds like baseboard, he would have been fine, but it sounds like you're in a modern sort of place, you know, cause it's not really air rushing on her. This is like, part of me wants to say like,

just every time you pass a thermostat, do your thing. And then when it's all, when you have it out, just try to, try to make up a little ground that you've lost. I, this is really tough. This is really tough. It almost seems like it's a, you need a mediator for this. And maybe that could be us. I, generally I'm not so, it's like, show them this. But this is, this is like a mild form of torture.

Honestly. I think you need to say like, hey, I know you don't like when like air blows on you, but I'm like genuinely very uncomfortable being in this house because it's too hot, too cold, whatever it is. And like, if she doesn't understand that, like, I don't know where you go from there. Summertime, only underwear in the house. There you go. Friends come over, underwear.

Just like, yeah, you might have to do that one time and really like it. And it might not be something you're, you know, you might not be one of those guys who's happy to do it, but I think you have to make a point, if you're just saying, this is awful for me. I live in a form of hell. If that doesn't get through

or you don't think you can get that out right, maybe it's just like, all right, your rules. This is what I gotta do. Wintertime, I don't know. I think I'd rather be cold and put something up on than be hot and like feel like there's no options. Yeah. So yeah, I, part of me is saying like, just do a thermostat war and wait for the fight.

And the other part is like, all right, like show her the madness that you're going to have to live in. Like make her, make her feel uncomfortable with it too, somehow. Also does she not like going outside with the wind? I don't understand how you can't have a window open. Maybe in the winter you just put, you order a $400 sleeping bag and then you get in it. There you go, yeah, it's things like this.

Right, and then in the summer, you build a porch screened in and just a little like, just a very minimal, almost like you're going over Shaolin, just like this is my sleeping pad, but at least I'll have the fresh air outside. So he's in LA, depends on which part of LA, but I mean, LA is actually colder.

It just ends up being colder than you would think it would be. I know it's not really, really cold, but at least for me being a stupid Northeast guy, thinking like, I'm almost in Mexico over there. Yeah. Right. And then you go out like in December, you're wearing a t-shirt. People are like, what the fuck is wrong with you? It's like 51 degrees out. Like, Hey, this is, this is that sea breeze too though. Yeah. Um, yeah. Good point, Kyle. Good point. You might have to start doing a little dramatic things like that. Now granted,

you know, getting an estimate for a screened in porch during the summer so that you can sleep outside to try to emphasize, you might have to do that because some people in partnerships, I kind of dream of the idea of the second bedroom thing and for other people it's such a non-starter. Right, no?

Just be like, hey, I can't sleep. I'm not sleeping in here. And then it's like, oh? No, she'd be like, Hey, I can't sleep. I'm not sleeping in here. And then it's like, Oh my God, you know, we're not going to get married. You might, since you're already married, you might have to just start going, Hey, I can't, I can't do this anymore. I cannot do this anymore. Uh, somebody told me the other day, relationships are compromises, right? And it sounds like she's like asking you to accept this compromise that all three

of us are like, this is awful. Now the other thing I could think of is could you talk to your HVAC guy? Do you have one? You had a quiet way to quiet this down a little bit. No. Could you, could you talk to him and say, yeah, maybe is there a no flow version of this, right? Where she doesn't even realize like counter to the principle of HVAC,

but I don't know. But she's asleep, you go hit something, you even set it to a timer, she doesn't even notice. Like I feel like she's being absolutely impossible. So there's also another HVAC, is there any, I don't even know if this is real or not. Could you go, hey, can you mess with the settings?

Can you make 72, 70, right? And can you bring her into 70 without you even realizing it? Cause you're like, it says 72. That's good. Right. And next thing you know, it's like you're trading for players and NHL.

And it's like, can I use this analogy before? Can I flip an 87? You know, can I get a Todd Bertuzzi here? Can I package Bertuzzi with something else for Matt Sundin? And then if I want Crosby, like I'm in the conversation now because I have Sundin. So if you can incrementally mess with the settings enough, and again, I think the technical people

will be on the side of it, but if it can be wrong for another reason, why can't it be wrong for the right reason? We're like, if is there any way we can have 72 be 70? It sounds like the temperature isn't the issue for her. She's not reasonable about turning on the heat on when, you know, his temp, it says it's 56 in the wintertime. It sounds like it's she's got a real problem with airflow. I don't know. The fact that you can't talk about this is nice. This is not a compromise. If just one person is doing something, it's not a compromise.

You have to win this. You have to win some ground here. You have to somehow. Just leave buckets of ice everywhere. Like some gas station styrofoam coolers. You'd be like, you know, I'm just trying to compromise, honey. Set up an inflatable pool in the living room. Well, that's insane. I don't know if you guys can translate this one for me. Subject is, Rosilla was a tank. What's up? 6'2", 225, age 29.

Big guy here. What's up, 62225, age 29, big guy here. 2K, 14 state champions, what cross? In eight mile M&M said F, Crank, Brooke, while battle rapping Anthony Mackie while I smoked their ass. So anyways, I've been on the pod, see girlfriend got me fired in the annals of double R history.

My question goes to Ryan, 29, 30 in January, I feel like I'm at a breaking point in wanting to settle down with the girl I'm with, but is it out of convenience? I rush into relationships, no problem with ladies, but I tell myself every time this is the one, my rent is 25% of monthly income and Chauncey Phillips in the red jersey was the greatest guard ever born. I'll hang up and listen. That was sent late at night. Yeah. There's a lot of extras in there. He probably wouldn't have sent us if it was a work email. But I love, I tell myself every time this is the one, my rent is 25% of monthly income. Right?

Chauncey Billups. Man, we're on fire today, huh? I think everybody. I think, okay, all right. I don't need to say anything else. If you have something, feel free. This is a, you get a lot of space. No, I don't care.

It's fine. Feel free to explore the space, man. You were trying. I was trying. Now I'm interested. You know, I just, I've picked up this skill over standing outside of the frolic room for five minutes at a time on Hollywood Boulevard.

And sometimes you just feel like you wanna give the guy that's talking to you something. Even though they're talking in kind of that emails format, but, uh, that's all right. I don't have to. Twin bed followup. Yeah, we'll do one. What's up fellas?

36, six, three, two 15. No way. No way. No gym stats. I built my muscle through being an undersized post for the last 30 years based on my game, based my game off my two favorite players of all time, Tim Duncan, Charles Barkley. I think you and I get along great on the court, Ryan.

Currently staring at the twilight years of my city league team. All right, got a ball, six three, chuck down low, Duncan little handoffs. I like it. Was watching the Charles Barkley shot against David Robinson the other day. One of my happiest basketball moments. I wasn't even playing. You too? Were you watching the full game or what was that?

No, the clips making the rounds because it's like. Oh, okay. Yeah. I mean, it's not the anniversary because it's now July, but it might have been the year though. Yeah. Yeah. Good times. Good times.

I felt compelled to follow up after hearing the email with the guy in the twin size bed dilemma. I live in a studio condo of 470 square feet in the Pacific Northwest for roughly 10 years while I saved up the money to buy a house early on in my tenure. I opted for a king size bed in my studio condo. Some would call this choice absurd, but I would argue it was a stroke of brilliance. No girl is going to be pumped to see her place the first time when she realizes it's a studio, but a super comfy king-size bed made it an attractive place to stay. Plenty of room in

the bed for them to sprawl out. It so subtle message that I take bedroom activity seriously. This guy's got all the game. This went the other way. I said twin bed follow-up and this guy's showing his pictures of a king size bed in his apartment. It's just, the apartment's all bed. Yeah.

478 is bigger than you think. My last apartment was like 550. There was some room to maneuver. Dude. Fuck off. Guys, we're over here in your mansions. 470 is bigger than you think. I don't think I could live in New York City now.

I used to always want to. I just was like, let me give it a shot. I'll see how it goes. And now it's like, the window closed. When I was living in Seaport last year in Boston, I was like, yeah, this is never happening for real. All right, this is sort of bedroom equivalent of dressing for the job you want, not the job you have.

I did quite well with the, so what are you calling? You just tell us, like email and end calling to tell us you hooked up a lot. I guess he did. I did quite well with the ladies in my twenties, maybe not 14 girls at the same wedding, but I digress. I think the bed was a solid factor. It sounds like you're also 6'3", dude, pretty good city league team. So could have been that. It was always a topic of conversation

that consistently got laughed, but I was self-aware of the uncertainty. I think our emailer needs to lean in the other way and go for the king or hell, make it a California king. Attaching photos of the old condo setup. I took the night before I moved out. Thanks for all the fun. Yeah, I mean, the couch faces the bed.

It's a studio then, okay. Right, so imagine it straight shot, kitchen, then behind the kitchen, he actually has a little table to eat at and then- I figured he'd just eat on the bed. Right. No alcove situation going on? The couch is into this other sector

that's like this framed out. I don't know if these are sliders that close this off, but then it's just bed. Certainly a choice. I think he's onto something when you're like, this guy's got a king bed. He must take this kind of seriously. I think there's something there.

I don't know. I'm not a woman. I don't really know exactly. But I mean, I guess there's an argument to be made. I just want a commitment. I don't think so. What a commitment. Like what percentage of girls are going home with a guy and being like, oh, full size bed.

I'm out of here. I just don't think that's happening. Yeah. Well, that's by the way, our guy like a 500 square footer though. You know, I don't know, dude. I don't know. Just depends. I mean, it depends on who who's visiting, man.

Our guy followed up. So I don't know if this is old news, but he was like, hey, I'm going with the full. Thanks for reading the email. He was awesome about it. Full's great, yeah. Yeah, I mean, you did that there, Mike. You, he wasn't even thinking about a full. Full's a good size bed.

And he feels like he won something there, you know? Yeah. I don't understand why the Bud Minis didn't take off. All right. What else do we have here that we like? Too old to hang, always a good one. Six foot, 218, don't lift anymore, but I'm typically in the top 3% of Peloton 45 minute rides. Shouldn't send this to my work account, but I did.

That's fine, man. 37, have a great life, great career, two kids, one and four years old, living in awesome cul-de-sac, all of our neighbors are best friends, huge sports fans, watch football get together almost every weekend, we all love UFC, someone buys every fight here in Central Time Zone. Those things don't end till late in the night.

My neighbor's kids are all older so they don't have to watch them every second of the day. Lately, I've become the joke of the cul-de-sac is the guy who never comes to UFC because it's too late, but I'm the only one who has to wake up at 5 30 a.m. to watch kids all day. I went to Iowa state, huge Peyton Manning fan as I named my first kid Peyton. I feel like you've always had this hatred towards him. Um, and can we get a Celtics probably rewatchable?

I don't hate Peyton Manning. I think the only time that you could categorize me in this critical Peyton Manning mode was the final year where, and I did a rant on it that actually. Of some note, um, it was just, I felt like every time the national broadcasters, he would hit like one pass and they would talk about how great his arm still was despite all the criticism that his arm, and it was very clear from the second to last year to the last year, like he just did not have the physical strength to get the ball down the field anymore. And there would always be one deep shot that would be connected because the receiver ran under it and made the play. And then the announcers, usually Collins-Worth, would be like,

and they say he's lost some of the arm. And I tell you, and you're just like, yeah, because he has, he caught that one. So it turns into Peyton Manning criticism. Anyway, to your point, look, your kids are younger, so I understand the whole point. Just don't be in a hurry to become, I'm always gonna leave early guy. But maybe your friends are really welcoming. Iowa State, and we're talking Midwest, then you're probably gonna get a longer leash with some of this stuff.

But I'm just telling you from experience, if you become the guy that can never go to anything, you become the guy that never gets invited to anything. It's a dangerous game to play. You have very good excuses here. Maybe it's just your role. You're going to get needled for this until the kids are no longer disrupting your mornings. But you know yourself, I'd rather be the first guy to leave than the last guy to leave. Nice.

Nice. Because I was also the last guy to leave, you know, the younger days. Like, what are we doing after this? Dude, it's over. There's nothing else to do. Yeah, sounds like we're gonna have to tell you this is over. This has now been over for a while, dude. Yeah, I don't think you have a major problem here.

I think it has way more to do with the people around you. And if you're all neighbors, they're kind of stuck with you anyway. So, you know, maybe you just take the ribbon, laugh it all off and be like, hey man, you know, sorry, my wife is so bountiful, right? What do you want me to do? Oh man. Yeah, it not out for this. You're not out of the game. You're not out of the game. You're not out of the game. You're not out of the game. You're not out of the game.

You're not out of the game. You're not out of the game. You're not out of the game. You're not out of the game. You're not out of the game. You're not out of the game. You're not out of the game. You're not out of the game.

You're not out of the game. You're not out of the game. You're not out of the game. You're not out of the game. You're not out of the game. You're not out of the game. You're not out of the game. You're not out of the game.

You're not out of the game. You're not out of the game. You're not out of the game. You're not out of the game. You're not out of the game. You're not out of the game. You're not out of the game. You're not out of the game. You're not out of the game. You're not out of the game. You're not out of the game. So, you know, sorry if it's, sorry if this is the one thing, but yeah, this is, this is a classic, like you're not out. You're definitely not out for this.

You're not out of the group. I would say pick your spot here. Because like pick one and show everyone. Right. You don't need to be like staying out till, you know, whatever, whatever it is, 2am every night, but like once a quarter, once, you know, once, twice a year, like put out a show, make that your moment. Exactly. That was good advice, Mike. Thanks, buddy.

Um, okay. Good stuff. Losing steam here, huh? In line with NBA player Disney World. Let's bring it back. We got Wargon. It's a Disney World question. What better way to do this? Six two, 200 pounds, H-44, lift with dumbbells, kettlebells in my home office, heaviest dumbbells, 80 pounds set.

Good stuff. Three putty for bogey from three and a par three last week, so probably not a great athlete anymore. It's all right, it happens. Just returned from my 10 days. 10 days. Wargon, what's your longest stretch? Of what?

Oh, at Disney. I'm like 10 days of lifting. Four days? I don't know if I've ever done more than four or five days. Dude, I found out this last summer that my wife's family, Disney family, they book three weeks of bungalows. They know the guy, they know the guy, and they cycle people in and out,

and they stayed down there for three whole weeks. And they were trying, not to them, I said this to them, and I'm new guy in the family, I was like, after a week, two weeks, you're not, he's like, no, we love it. We don't have to go if we don't have to, because we could just stay in the bungalow. And-week vacation in any one place is kind of insane. And he, well, Poughkeepsie is a different animal, I think, but that's a whole life there, though.

But they were, he was trying to convince me to come down. And, you know, my wife is a huge Disney person, Disney adult. I don't, you know, I'm just dealing with that, but I'm not, three weeks, there you go. I just wanna get that off my chest. I haven't really been able to tell anyone. I just, I'm just trying everything I can to not be roped in. I mean, and listen, they wouldn't want me to come there for three weeks, but.

They wouldn't want you there for three weeks. That's true. But. The version of you that would be that third week, Kyle, at Disney World, and I'm not even criticizing you. No, how could you? When does the biggest drop off come? Days one and two, you're probably fine,

but when does it take? Three, three starts. Three. I mean, yeah, yep, terrible. Epcot, though, drinking around there. Yep. Terrible. Epcot though drinking around there. You know, one thing I can spot is when something's a good deal at a bar and when something's a bad deal at a bar.

And I feel like Epcot's a bad deal at a bar. Horrible deal. Okay. Tons of fun. All right. Well, you, you're, that's a duality of man right there with your, you know, if you're airport lounge, free martinis, and then you're going to, you know, pay 20 bucks for a pre-mixed cocktail that says

it's from Brazil. I don't, I don't know, dude. I remember what Epcot Center was being built. Kids were talking about. What was that? I feel like it's the 80ies, but I don't know. I'm gonna look it up right now. Brazil is also not a country in Epcot. Oh, sorry.

Apology accepted. Construction began in 1980, opened in 82. Wow. You would just, I don't even know how you would see pictures of it. This is not like we had the internet, but it just that, you're like, what is it? And it's another planet.

Be like, you can go everywhere in the world right there. Sounds nuts. How long, how many hours do you need to do Epcot? Right. Morgan. You got to be there from like noon to close. If you're doing a drink and like a little, a little snack in every country, small plates. Yeah. Small plates, couple of drinks. I'd be there from noon to close. If you're doing a drink and a little snack in every country.

Small plates? Yeah, small plates, a couple drinks. What the fuck are you guys talking about? Do you not know what Epcot is? No, I know that in Orlando, Florida, you can go everywhere. I mean, the fucking Eiffel Tower really isn't in Las Vegas.

I don't really, I don't know what the payoff is. It's like, there's like 10 countries and you're getting a drink and like a little snack in each one, maybe a couple of drinks in each one. And you're just doing your best. All right, I'm looking at the countries here. Yeah, like you're gonna go in like a British a British pub get like a beer and a shot, you know, Mexico has margaritas.

All right. I listen as a guy who's like, we live really close to Universal Studios Hollywood. And for some reason, the magic of that has not worn off on my wife. Like we went we went and they were like, you know, for 20 bucks extra, you're a California neighbor pass, you can come they were like, you know, for 20 bucks extra, you're a California neighbor pass. You can come free on like non-weekend days. This is back when we were both off like Wednesdays or yeah, I think it was Wednesdays.

And like she would just bring me back there and we just go for free and look at the, you know, Universal Studios Hollywood is like, there's not even like rides. It's just like old, like they still have this Transformers thing from like the second Transformers movie. And you could see like the pixels in the screen when you're on this ride. And that like, that magic never wore off for her. So that's how I view a lot of these things.

It's just like, I'm so over it. And she's like, oh, should we go back to Harry Potter world? Like another butter beer, what are we doing? So I don't know. I guess I'm just not the type of guy that does this stuff, but we didn't even get to this guy's question in line with an NBA player. Yeah. I'm still stuck on this Epcot thing.

It stood for experimental prototype community of tomorrow. Still stands for that. Yep. Yeah. Technically you're right. Yep. Um, but they did change kind of the, I don't know what they did with the acronym,

or they all capsed it, but they should for an acronym anyway. But yeah, this was like a big deal. I think a lot of kids, especially, because I was super young when you were hearing about this, like what's going on. Our family was never ever gonna visit Disney World ever, my parents. It was a vacation that they didn't wanna do, they weren't going on. Our family was never ever going to visit Disney World ever. My parents,

it was a vacation that they didn't want to do. They weren't going on it. So basically every time we went somewhere, it was somewhere that one of them wanted to go and then we would never go together. So we weren't a Disney family, which is I'm okay with it now, but when you're a kid, you feel pretty fucking left out. out. You're like, this is going to be tough. What did you get to see? And then kids are coming back basically telling you they traveled the world. You're like, what? Well, how big is that thing? Is it the size of a planet? I've seen a picture of it. It kind of looks like the Death Star. It's just, you know, like it kind of looks like the Death Star. All right. So you don't go in that ball, right?

There's a ride inside of it. There's a ride inside of it. Yeah. Okay. What do you think? It's just a ball. I don't know. Yeah.

That would be the cheapest version to build something like that. I think. I don't know. Okay. Let's, uh, we'll get back to the question. I apologize. So, um, just to turn to 10 days. Got that. I'm a huge, we live in Wisconsin and I'm a huge Bucks fan. We shared a raft ride to soon be closed.

The Tom Sawyer Island attraction at Magic Kingdom with Brooke Lopez. Have you been on that one, Tom Sawyer? No, I know they're getting rid of it for a cars ride though. Is it because Russians is a popular high school kids now? There was maybe 10 people in total on the raft and we were a few feet away from him for the couple minute ride to the island. He was with his wife, small child, so I didn't say anything to him. He spent the whole time snapping photos of the ride since he's also a Disney adult, but I didn't want to bug him.

Upon telling the story to my brother-in-law, he said I should have talked to Brooke since I'm a huge Bucks fan and live in Wisconsin. Was I right to leave him alone since he was with his family or should I have said hi? I've attached the pic since I'm sure you get a lot of these questions about running into NBA players and obscure Disney attractions.

Also hoping Wargon can fill in with any other Disney World details needed. I think we covered that part already. Yeah, so, yeah, Brooke is gonna stand out. Seven foot one, I think. I think it's great you left him alone. He's holding a small, small child. And even though he's a really nice guy and he probably would have been cool with you and you have not only you

sharing a raft, he played for your team, but you have to understand like at Disney World, every micro encounter would add up for him. And everybody that decides like, hey, let me just let this guy be a dad with his little kid and enjoy Disney. You did him the biggest favor. Anybody could have done him. So your brother-in-law is totally wrong. Yeah. I think it's also one thing also wouldn't do this, but you see where people get upset

when they're like coming out of the ice cream shop with their kid and someone's like, Hey man, you know, or they're eating. This guy's like actively doing something that seems like he enjoyed too. So I feel like that just the way that like you, the way that you would rip him out of not only like, oh shit, I gotta be this version of me, but you rip him out while he's taking photos

of something that he's actually really enjoying plus time with his kids. I think it definitely would have, you know, put that to the second power or something like that. So yeah, really good move by you. Everyone says what they would do in that situation. It sounds like you had a little bit of conscience bubble up and you were like, yeah, let me not do this.

So you can sleep well knowing that. Yeah, I think you absolutely nailed it, man. And this isn't to say like, hey, everybody should leave everybody alone. I'm just telling you, like, I've even had to learn from my own experience of going up to somebody that I thought I had some sort of connection with, or, hey, I've interviewed this guy. I'm talking about me going up to talk to somebody.

They never care, man. They never fucking care. And I don't even, like, I have to, there has to be a real reason. Like, hey, remember when we lived together? You, me, remember when we lived together? You, me, and Damon. 6'2", 2'45", think Luca and peak off season. Do I need to ask my neighbor every year

if they'd like their hedge pruned? Okay. I share a road facing hedge with the house next door. The owner of that house, single woman, two kids, has extremely terrible choices in men. Our current boyfriend is several of several years is a prickly veteran, uh, car salesman. Now he just drinks and smokes all day and tries to start altercations with

anyone about anything. Well, sounds like maybe just iron sharpens iron over there. We live in a nice neighborhood in Oregon. Nice. Plants grow like crazy. We have a shared hedge made of laurel, probably 25 feet tall. These things need pruning. See, look at this, Kyle.

You know what? I'm gonna forward Kyle the picture. It's so funny. There's so many pictures attached that I assumed I'd wanna see. And the fact that this is the one. Look at the size of this is the one, look at the size of this hedge.

Yeah, I don't do a good job with that, but I- Like the King bedroom taking up the studio apartment, I was interested in that. But yeah, let's take a look at this hedge. All right. Need to go back to the hedge. I lost it here. Sorry. Yeah, okay. I know, we're fine, we're fine.

So again, 25 feet tall. These things need pruning regularly. They get out of control. The next door neighbors are not the type to do the upkeep. Last year I offered to prune the road facing portion of the hedge as it grows and blocks a narrow road. This is on public land. Last year she was happy for us to prune it.

A picture is attached. I want to prune it again. The problem with these types of plants is that for about a week after you prune them, they're more transparent. They would temporarily expose their front yard where this guy drinks the smokes. Given the prickly nature of the current boyfriend, I'm simultaneously, I don't want to ask or even talk to him. So my question, given I got approval to prune the prune the public lands out of the hedge last year,

do I need to continue to ask or can I just go ahead and prune away? This place looks like the Amazon forest. This is an actually insane fucking picture. Like I can't even tell that that's a road. It looks like a small golf, like a golf cart path in Mexico or something. Where you're like, am I still on the-

Some bird sanctuary somewhere? Yeah. So you have the pick now. Yeah, I got it. It's nuts, right? Yeah. I mean, the whole thing isn't even in the photo. Crazy.

If you don't want to talk to the guy, that's fine. It sounds like he's probably going to get upset either way. So if you just trim yours, then they're going to be like, oh shit. Uh, it's unbelievable that you would offer this up, but I understand that like, there's probably a benefit for you here too. I would just go ahead. I would just go ahead and do it. This guy's not going to do it.

You're absolutely right. Uh, there's something about day drinking that just gets in the way of a lot of gardening. Right. I wonder, I think I might be different, but I need to get a house first. You're a man's man. I could see you out there being like, I need a cold one. Yeah, this tractor needs to have two cup holders,

one for water. Right. I think when I'm thinking about you with it, it's an accessory to the event. On the other edge of things, there could be like, Hey, I have to do this today. So I'm not going to the basement. Right. Right. Right.

Right. And I know the bulkhead needs some screws on it. We'll get to that a little bit later. Uh, so yeah. Yeah. Um, I would say, go ahead and do it. Anything warga? and do it. Anything, Warga? Just do it.

The worst that's gonna happen is he's gonna come out and say something and you'll be like, oh, well, last year you said it was okay. I figured it was this time. Sorry about that. It won't happen again. There's no downside. Yeah, this isn't a, you're getting sued scenario.

Right. But yeah, I got, this is like one of the things I think I would look for. God willing, I am ever house hunting for real and not just treating Zillow like it's a dating app or whatever. But I think, I think that's one of the things I would try to avoid is like shared things. I just, I don't know, maybe it's probably I see too much Judy, but there's just so many

fence and property lines and you know, you and you did this and then that happened. I think I would just try to avoid that. Obviously that's not gonna help this email. It's just something I've always, one of those things. If I ever, I'm hoping not to have to deal with a shared whatever. Maybe you would though. Maybe you're a community guy.

I could see you being like, hey, do you guys need your hedges? Yeah, but that's totally based on whoever's next door. Like I might be that guy, but I don't, you know. Okay, let's see what time this one was sent. All right, five, five, three quarters, 175, bench, 265, short king having trouble getting higher weight working out at Planet Fitness, but that's not important.

Oh, yeah, no. Okay. Moving right along. Yeah. Like Planet Fitness guy. Yeah, well we talked about this though. Right, they just, what better way to welcome you than with lower weights?

I have a question, a question about changing career paths. 29 years old, I work as a New York state correctional officer. My prison closed down and I could have worked one and a half hours away working 16 hour shifts. No thanks. Yeah. I mean, prison officer already, like you're wired a little different, right? To be able to do that job. So then 16 hour shifts while you're wired a little different, right? To be able to do that job. So, then 16-hour shifts while you're commuting for three, that leaves five hours buddy,

for video games and sleep. Out of college, I went to the police academy, was part-time officer for three years. I never had a job I was passionate about, but always felt like I needed something interesting going on or some wild shit going on. Do you have any idea or any advice about entering a totally different career path? I'm working hospital security starting next week with the pay is crap course. Have you ever had a point entering a totally different world or have any advice about getting started? Do you sound like you're a shoo-in for a fireman? It sounds like this will be the best choice you ever made. That might be the best advice we've ever given. Quick to the point and it might be accurate.

Yeah. I wasn't going to name- I was at that CEO before he was a fireman. He did it. He did smooth transition and it as a captain. I wasn't going to name a specific job, but if you want to shift your career path, just do it. Like if you're young, just do it.

You know? Like every day you're not doing it, it's just wasted at this point, I feel like. Like don't keep being unhappy in this job. Like pivot, find something you like and sort of move on from there. Hell yeah. Yeah. I mean, the soldier, I'm afraid this guy, maybe you're looking at like soldier of fortune ads in the back of the magazine. I don't even know if they have that anymore. Probably not.

There's probably some online version of that. Probably a website, yeah. Yeah, there's probably some dark web version of like, where do you need me? I'm reporting, 72 hours. Man, yeah. I don't, I've already told my story so many times that I'm sick of it. I think the big thing about any abrupt change to whatever is you're gonna really, it's gonna be a glamorous version.

It's always a glamorous version of like, hey, I want to do this. So maybe I could talk about the writing part of it, right? Because it's gone slower. There's a potential chance of something working out. It's also as equal with the chance of it not working out. But there are times that I'm putting in the hours to editing. And all I was thinking about when I wanted to write a TV show or a movie was how great it would be and how much fun it would be to create and how much fun it would be to work with smart people who've done shows or films that you thought were awesome and to be in the room and to be challenged creatively and the puzzle solving of writing. And I can tell you now I've been editing a script every week since the end of March.

And I'm kind of like, when's this done? When's this done for like, Hey, we're done. And that's the part that you don't think about when you meet somebody and be like, Oh my God, you're a screenwriter. Like, Oh, what's that like? And then you realize like, why so many of these people are in therapy. Cause it is a tough ass job where you could argue that even when you're done, you're never actually done. But at some point you have to, you have to realize, like, Oh, I guess, I guess we're done now.

So all those hours that I spend by myself being like, maybe this works better here or maybe this works better there. And then you get another round of notes and then the notes are like trying something totally different and you're like, yeah, but if I move this jank of piece out of the way, then all of this other stuff falls apart.

And this whole reason why I did this is because of something else that's gonna happen here. And then that person's either like, well, that doesn't make any sense and you don't need it. Um, and you just write and write and rewrite and rewrite and rewrite. So that was an abrupt change where now that I understand it, where I was ready to never do sports anymore, I'm very thankful that I still get to do sports and that the pop, the podcast is somewhat successful and I'm able to do both.

But there are some days where I'll have to admit, it's like, is there a version of this where you have a much easier life and you just watch some games, whatever. But I creatively wanna do something that's more significant to me than what I've done to this point. So just be careful of making it this way because we tend to just glamorize any of the other opportunities that could potentially exist with yet never having

the firsthand experience of what the job actually is. So Kyle, fire department, Greyhang, instant friends, just a bunch of dudes. I might join it in a couple of years. They eat so well. They usually, somebody helps get a nice TV in there, you know. They're not sleeping in twin beds. I ran into the guys at the Hermosa house, like out at something and I was just like, they're like, come by. Hang out. Yes. Yes.

Like I might. Yes. The answer to that is yes. All right, last one here. No gym stats. I do cardio workouts four to six days a week to stay in pretty good shape. About a month ago, I essentially ended my marriage with my wife, whom I was with for 13 years.

No paperwork has been filed, but I don't see a way that things can be fixed. There were numerous reasons why I had ended the relationship and I finally couldn't take it anymore. Slowly over time, I became a person. I don't want to be. I'd been contemplating it for several months. We actually went on a break for about four months ago, for around three weeks.

I was living in a buddy's house. I moved back into our house, and things were good for a couple of weeks. Then I started getting the same feelings I had when we took the first break. To be honest, I didn't put in enough effort and try to make things better. I've been going through a lot of ups and downs

emotionally during this time apart. I have good days and bad days. My wife has moved out, and I've been staying with family while I'm alone in our house with our dog. Luckily we have no kids to add to the stressful time, but my dog does have health issues and makes it tough for me to try to get away and enjoy life as much as I can during this time.

I haven't had a vacation about two years since it's hard to get someone I know to trust, to take care of our dog. I could really use some time away from reality and try to relax and forget about things as much as possible for a few days, even though I'm the one who ended things, it's obviously very hard on me as well.

Since my wife is taking this extremely hard, she's had to be off of work for physical and mental health reasons, leaving me as the only one with an income until she can start getting paid for disability. I've been having to dip into our savings to pay the bills, which is as another level of stress on me. My birthday's coming up for numerous reasons.

I didn't feel like inviting friends to celebrate with me and having everyone ask, where's your wife? I don't feel like there's any answer I could give to that question that would have people scratching their head as to why my wife is the only one not at my birthday. I also don't wanna stay home alone on my birthday. One of my friends who was aware of my current situation offered to take care of the dog

for a few days so I could get away. So I'm going on vacation by myself on my birthday weekend. So my questions are, did I make the right choice by planning a vacation by myself during my current situation and state of mind? Should I have been in the bullet and stayed in town and invited a bunch of friends out to celebrate with me and support me, but had to have explained to everyone that my wife and I are done. And lastly, what advice do you have for me to enjoy my solo vacation and maximize my fun and stay in the right headspace?

I want to hear advice from all of you, but especially Ryan, since you're obviously used to traveling solo, by the way, sorry for any grammatical errors or sentence structure. All right. Don't worry about it, dude. Geez. What a question to end on. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I'd probably take the lead on this one. Here's my question to you. How are you alone? All right. And how are you

alone when you're dealing with something that, you know, I don't know if you're full-blown depressed, but it sounds like the ups and the reality is the ups and downs of your days, there's going to be some weird lows in there because you're going through depressed, but it sounds like the reality is the ups and downs of your days, there's gonna be some weird lows in there because you're going through all of this stuff, which sucks and I feel bad for you. If you were wired to be alone during this time, then I would say go for it. But I do think there's a lot of people

that are going through this, again, someone speaking to what we just did, is just maximizing the glorification of these other things that you haven't necessarily experienced. Where if you're not alone a lot and if you are a little down, are you going to be walking along the fucking beaches in Puerto Rico by yourself on your birthday and your life has been totally disrupted and all you really want to do is just be back to something that's comfortable, even though if your present day to day at home isn't super comfortable.

Do you even have the answers to know this about yourself? Like if you've never ever done this before, I would say it's not for everyone. I'm okay with it, whether I've been in a great place or whether I haven't. I mean, I've had birthdays where the good thing is you kind of forget about it. You forget about it. You forget about it I'm okay with it, whether I've been in a great place or whether I haven't. I mean, I've had birthdays where the good thing is you kind of forget it's your birthday.

Like I've had a couple where I just, that's the window when I can travel and I'll be like, oh shit, like today's my birthday. And that can sound really depressing to somebody else. And it's like, you forgot your own birthday. It's like bartender in France. Yeah. That's another thing too, is like how much do you drink? Cause like if you're gonna drink a lot and then as you're older

and the depressive effects of alcohol and all of this disruption in your life, like that might not be the best hangover you're ever gonna have. So you might wanna just make sure you didn't treat this as like a bender to get away unless, some people don't ever have any of that stuff. They don't have to deal with any of those things.

If they drink a little bit more than they should, usually something that's just gonna happen to you when you get older. And some people will not listen to this and just agreeing, be like, yeah, that two to maybe two and a half day funk that just exists for no other fucking reason than the science behind it. So you're already going into this a little fragile, but you're already going into this that two to maybe two and a half day funk that just exists for no other fucking reason than the science behind it. So you're already going into this a little fragile

and maybe you are like, hey, I actually do like to be by myself and I'm the one that left her. And even though there's been disruption, I need a break. I need a break from my day-to-day and all that space. Then I kind of love the idea. So maybe I started off with negative advice on this one. I just need to know,

there could be a moment. I've had enough trips now where, yeah, maybe this is sharing a little bit previewing the travel logs. I've had a couple where I'm like, yeah, what are you going to do? If I can walk around this village by yourself again, take some notes. Yeah. village by yourself again, take some notes. Yeah. You're just gonna keep fucking doing this every summer. TravelPod disguised as the reason you do this. When in fact, maybe that's just bullshit. And it gives you some weird excuse to like,

pretend you're doing this, but there's actually a much bigger fucking reason. You gotta figure this out before you melt down in a woodworking museum somewhere across the blue. So it isn't a warning. I just, if you really like your friends, man, and they want to do something, and if the downside to this is like, you have to explain that your wife's out of the picture, like this has happened to other couples before. Right. It happens.

That's my thought. Yeah. And if there's nothing crazy that happened where you don't even, it doesn't even sound like you did something that you feel extremely guilty about other than just, hey, this is now the new reality, she's upset. I'm not thrilled about it, but this is, if you could have a local hang with your buddies and you're not by yourself, I don't hate that idea. That seemed like the medicine for me there. Yeah. But it's about you. It's about who you are. I don't necessarily need it. This guy might not need it. Kyle, you probably look at it as like, hey, that's the best. But sometimes I'm also like, I'm looking at this birthday going,

are you not going to be around anybody? This is a big one. And I might not. This is 50. Yeah. So. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. Also, I'm generally trying not to, but you're allowed to lie to your friends as long as you tell them the truth. Eventually, if you're just like, if you don't want to, if you just want to lie to your friends as long as you tell them the truth eventually.

If you're just like, if you don't wanna, if you just wanna be like, oh, she, this is a boy's thing. You know what I mean? You don't have to be like, well, funny you ask why Helen's not here. We're actually going through it and the dog and whatever. You don't have to do all that. Yeah, but I think if you're drinking, it's coming out.

You know, all the boys are together. Well, maybe, oh, that's their problem. It's your birthday, you're not even, you know. That's the other question. Are you gonna do that? Yeah, I don't know. I's their problem. It's your birthday. You're not even, you know. That's the other question. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, there's also like certain ones like, Hey, what do you want to do? And be like, Oh, do you want to go over and like his wife's out of the house, but it's his birthday to be like, you know, you know, the Skyrim report on your

friend, is that going to be a good thing? Maybe you think you're doing them the favor of being like, Hey, by me not having them over and then having to talk about it, I avoid maybe me being the bummer of the night and then it's not even a birthday celebration. I mean, I don't, again, you're just somebody who emailed in, I feel for you on this one, playing out all the angles is the best that I can do. And that's what I was trying to do with it. It sounds like he's going on the trip.

I just, I don't know. Yeah. You didn't have to like invite every, all the families from the neighborhood. You know what I mean? It could have, you could have, you could have knocked down the list a little bit and just had like four core guys go to a baseball game or something.

I mean, the older you get, the smaller your gesture of birthday celebrations need to be. But listen, you're going on the trip, Ryan, you gave him the advice on the trip. I just, I think you, you, you should have given your friends a little bit more credit or, or given yourself more credit without, you know, could one guy go with you? Ruining your own birthday little bit more credit or given yourself more credit without, you know. Could one guy ruin your own birthday?

Oh, there you go. I think whether you go on the trip or not, you gotta pick your one closest friend and let them in. Cause this is gonna be a hard time for you and you don't wanna do this alone. And so even if you're gonna leave, like you want that friend to sort of touch base with, you know, you might get sad on the trip.

You want someone you can talk to that's not, you know, your wife, maybe you don't want to talk to family right now. I would say just find your friend because they're gonna, you know, support you through anything. Yeah, I think that's really good too, Oregon. So maybe we made this too big of an answer, but again, that was kind of the point.

All right, thanks to Kyle. Thanks to Oregon. Thanks to Jonathan Frias, a life advice only edition of the point. All right, thanks to Kyle. Thanks to Worgon. Thanks to Jonathan Frias, a life advice only edition of the Ryan Roussela podcast on Ringer Spotify. They were gonna name me Michael Jordan. My dad was like, I don't think he can live up to it, so they named me Michael Jared. Must be 21 and older in present and select states for Kansas in affiliation with Kansas

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