The Ryen Russillo Podcast - NBA Draft Prospect RJ Hampton and Mike Miller Tell Stories About Getting Ready for the Draft. Plus, Ryen Gets Mad at Pickup Hoops.

Episode Date: November 6, 2020

Russillo rants about a recent encounter on an outdoor basketball court, before sharing his thoughts on the narrative that the Dolphins may look to move on from rookie QB Tua Tagovailoa depending on their 2021 draft position (2:30). Then, Ryen talks with top NBA draft prospect RJ Hampton and 2x NBA champion Mike Miller about RJ’s decision to forego the NCAA and play overseas in the NBL, working with Mike to get ready for the NBA draft, how the pandemic has affected traditional NBA scouting and predraft workouts, and more (17:00). Finally, Ryen answers some listener-submitted Life Advice questions (50:00). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I'm fired up it's Friday and it's a little later than we'd normally get it out there but we have a great guest set up for you Mike Miller and lottery pick first round pick certainly RJ Hampton went to play for New Zealand instead of going to college he was one of the the top recruits out of high school, and he's an interesting story. And Mike's been training him, and they've been together now for a while. So we're going to have them both on at the exact same time. I'm hot and fired up about, well, I'm not talking about my attractiveness because really it's probably more about my personality at this stage. But I'm upset about something, but also really fired up about a different topic. And then we have a pretty heavy life advice.

I almost thought of when Kyle sent me an email just passing on the entire thing. And let's just check in before we read the ads. Let's just check in with Kyle. I listen to other big podcasts and I don't love it when the huge name checks in with somebody who I don't know, but people are such Kyle fans that we'd like to know where your head's at on a Friday. Cause you definitely seemed a little sleepy earlier today. Oh, when you call me at 8 AM. Well.? Well, I mean, who's not sleepy after the election? I don't know why I keep staying up waiting and looking, but other than that, I'm great. I'm doing well. It's a nice day in LA. Thanks for checking. You're an American who wants to know what's going on. All right, so let's get to it. Oh, I have another reason in which I'll share

why I'm excited, too, so let's do this. Okay, today's episode of the Ryan Rosillo Podcast on the Ringer Podcast Network is brought to you by State Farm. Getting great car and home insurance from State Farm at a surprisingly great rate? That's like drafting a player that becomes an all-pro, the real deal. State Farm agents provide personalized service so you can customize your insurance to fit your needs like a GM putting together their very own roster. You need a team that supports you, and State Farm's got a great one. In addition to agents, the award-winning mobile app helps manage coverage, pay bills, file claims, and more with a great price and even greater service. State Farm goes from strength to strength.

Choose insurance that always brings its A game. When you want the real deal like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Before I get to this TUA topic that is out of control, I'm going to spend a couple minutes on it. I'm not going to go too long on it. I have to share something else with you now, just get done with a back workout. So I'm a little juiced up right now.

Not quite sure what's going on. All natural, but just, you know, physically juiced up. And the biggest reason why was because I was listening to Busta Rhymes new one that came out earlier this month. Um,

and for those that don't know Busta Rhymes, who no one's going to say he's a top five MC, but when he's good, he's really good. So Extinction Level Event 2 is out and it's unbelievable. It's unbelievable. I couldn't have been more fired up. There's a bunch of dudes on it. Czar is probably my favorite track right now. So I got really excited working out after that.

Speaking of activities, there's an area where I could get shots up still. I'm not going to share it with anybody because I don really excited working out after that. Speaking of activities, there's an area where I could get shots up still. I'm not going to share it with anybody because I don't want everybody going out there and having the rims taken off like every other court that you try to find. You know, I still like to get shots up. And so your boy biked over to this place and saw a bunch of dudes playing half court on their end. And I was like, all right, cool. I'm just going to play half court on my end. Just shoot around. Just get shots up, man. Beautiful day.

Whatever's going on in your earbuds at that moment. And I didn't want to play half court with COVID and everything. Maybe for full court. I don't know if COVID is like, hey, full court is fine. Half court isn't. Again, I'm not pretending to know. But I just wasn't down with playing any half court and no one was asking me either which is fine too and at this stage white guy 40s shaved head you know you don't get picked a lot so that's fine that's fine too it doesn't matter doesn't matter about your shoes or calves or any

kind of stuff there are assumptions made about you and your ability to play. Now these guys stunk, a bunch of out of shape dudes. I mean, out of shape, like in a way where it's like, Oh, you're the out of shape guy that thinks it cause you chuck it from 30 feet. Like you can ball a little bit. Um, not the case. And they weren't very good. And as I looked, there was like litter everywhere and I went, eh, all right, cool. Whatever. I'm not going to say anything. Littering I think is just one of the most inexcusable things. I, sometimes I have a harder time with people that are just litterers than you know people that may just be jerks personality wise yeah because i just i don't get it like maybe there's some weird thing you get out of being a jerk to other people where i could kind of get to the root cause of it

but to decide i'm just going to leave garbage everywhere and have zero respect for stuff around me like it bothers me it bothers me a lot i think if you litter you suck if you litter unfollow us stop listening to podcasts you don't deserve it so there was no animosity like that they weren't asking me to play i didn't want to play with them and as they were leaving no one was talking to each other and one of the guys had a pit bull and you know whatever the pit bull ran over to me it was friendly it was not like an issue with the pit bull or anything like that and they got in their cars and I thought like, all right, cool. They were playing on the better end of the core. I'm going to go down there. So as I go to dribble down and play at that end, there's dog shit piled up all over the place. So what they

did is when they were done playing, they let their dog take a giant shit all over that end of the court. It was trailing from like the elbow to like 30 feet out. didn't clean it up, got in their cars and fucking left. And I was so mad. I was so mad about it because, and I'm actually probably happy. I'm probably lucky that I didn't notice it. Cause then I would have said something. I wasn't going to say anything about the littering. I'm just going to sit there and be like, fine, you guys want to be just, you know, shitheads about this, go ahead. But they thought it was funny, I guess. And all I could think of is like to be in that moment, to have that little respect for this one court that's still open

and the next people that want to play. Like what if I brought my dog by as you guys are tying your sneakers and I just let him go all over your end of the court and then left? Would it be cool? Would you guys not have a problem with it? Of course, you'd be furious. And so to do something like that when you would hate it if it were done to you because you're just like ah whatever let the dog go we're done running fives anyway because

you're so out of shape half court fives fucking losers um i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm swearing more than i normally do but it it sent me to a tailspin kyle for about a day i love this this isn't even the open dude this is no it isn't it isn't it isn't the open and part of it i'm like okay you can chill out now and 10 on one i i probably don't like my chances with any uh any you know i don't know maybe some some country i don't want to know 10 on one was it five on five half court five on five half court right that's how out of shape they were but they but you know what they were doing like hey that country i don't want to know 10 on one was it five on five half court five on five half court right that's how out of shape they were but they but you know what they were doing like hey that dude's playing and our end of the court is much better or even if it wasn't even about me it was just

now that we're done this is how little we care about anyone else and i'm just telling if you're if you're of that mindset, like I can't imagine, because there's always one guy, there's always a small percentage, you'll be like, well, you know, if the dog has to go, you know, you just go, no, no, no, no, no, no. If the dog has to go, you don't go in a basketball court. And if it happens because it's an accident or it's a puppy,

you clean it up. No further questions at this time. I have nothing else to offer on this topic. I just, I had to share it with you guys. Okay. Let's talk to a tongue of ILOA. This story is dumb. All right. So here's what we have right now. We have a story going around. Now I don't blame Schefter for this. Adam Schefter had a story basically said they're playing to it miami one of the reasons not the only reason one of the reasons that they're playing to it and these are shepter's words is that quote they want to see what they have okay and brian flores is coming out i'm going to go ahead and get the quote um yeah again know what they have ahead of the 2021 NFL draft because they have the Texans

pick. And right now the Texans, if you look at it, I believe it's the fourth worst record statistically in the NFL. I'm just going to double check that. And we know what everybody's looking at with this draft. It's not even just Trevor Lawrence, who may be the best prospect we've seen in 10 years, Andrew Luck. I think Justin Fields is that special. He's unbelievable. If you watch that Penn State game, if you didn't get a chance to see it, dude, he's closer to Lawrence than I think he's getting credit for.

I really do. And that's how special I like. I think Lawrence is that special. And don't take my word for it. Take a guy like Todd McShay, who does this for a living, who told me, he goes, I don't really get very excited

about high school guys ever phrasing. But because this Trevor Lawrence who's going to Clemson, you won't believe how amazing this guy is. Okay. So guys were on it early. The Texans. Yes. So you get the Jets own a Giants one and seven Jags and Texans both at one and six. So you could have a scenario here where you end up with the number one overall pick or the number two pick. So if your evaluation of Tua was good enough, by the way, to take him fifth, and Tua may have gone

number one overall if he hadn't broken his hip, I think there's a real chance Tua goes number one overall. As great as Burrow's statistical season was, I mean, Tua was more on the radar, and I think people liked

his arm strength. Well, his arm strength was just better than Burrow's. I mean, there's no debate on that one. So Tua still goes fifth despite being hurt, but now that he's playing

and playing for Ryan Fitzpatrick, part of the story Schefter puts out there is it almost like this audition. Now Flores shot that down and Flores has to shoot it down because that's the job. Much like what I've gone through this week where I hit the aggregator triple crown on different stuff. And I'll just share this with anybody that gets upset about this. I'm telling you right now. Almost none of us ever make anything up. I don't. I know for a fact I've never gone, hey, I'm just going to make up something and say it.

And what happens is it turns into clicks. Oh, you guys do that for clicks. I can guarantee you this. Adam Schefter at no point was like, things have been a little slow. What could I do for clicks? I know, Tua. Somebody clearly told him this. But one of the great things about having access to information is that you have it.

The bad thing is that you can, and I've made this mistake when I was younger, where you think, Hey, somebody who is in the know, somebody who does this for a living, who has a front office job or as a coach or as an agent told me this thing.

So now that I've been, you know, I'm allowed to share it because there's plenty of stuff that you're not allowed to share. Um, I, you know, let me share this interesting thing,

but just because you got it, it doesn't mean that it's right. So if that's the reason it's, it isn't though, it's of all the reasons you would play to a, to evaluate him, to then figure out if you want to take another quarterback high, it's the least important because here's the overall, the overriding factor in all this tool was going to play this year. Anyway, did anybody think Ryan Fitzpatrick was going to go from end to end week one to week 17? No, because he's never really done that. Other than he had the Miami year last year, it looked like he was tanking. He had years ago,

like eight years ago in Buffalo, he went back to back seasons where he was the main guy, but he's what, 37, 38 years old. And you took two a fifth fifth so are you telling me if the dolphins didn't have the texans pick because the dolphins actually have a decent record right now if the dolphins didn't have the texans pick and took to a would to a not play this year well that doesn't make any sense right like would anybody go well i could see him sitting behind for the entire year i went through the last 10 drafts okay and i'm not'm not even counting Burrow and Herbert yet because they've been Burrow day one stars, Herbert, essentially day one stars because of the odd Tyra Taylor injury, um, with the injection, which is super unfortunate for him, but it's pretty clear. Herbert's already better than

Tyra Taylor. But if you go through it as I did, it's of all of the first-round quarterbacks taken from 2010 through 2019, that's 29 quarterbacks in the first round, a total of 320 starts in their rookie season, an average of just over 11 starts per quarterback, per first-round quarterback in their rookie season. 11 starts. The only guys that don't, ironically, Mahomes and Jake Locker and Manziel are low.

Mahomes had the one start, which is whenever you hear a guy say, well, you know, Mahomes sat a year. Look how good he is. You want to know why Mahomes is so good? Because he's Pat Mahomes. Because he's that good. Has nothing to do with sitting behind.

Would it have taken a little bit longer, maybe, or would he have had some bumps in that rookie year? Did he get to learn and watch? All right, fine. All those different things. The end product is probably the same if Mahomes plays week seven of his rookie year versus getting that one start at the very end. Manziel, I don't think it mattered where he was

going. It didn't look like he was super prepped to be a pro quarterback. I don't know that he had the right approach, that rise and grind mentality you need. He had two starts. Jake Locker had zero in that 2011 draft. And that 11 number is trending up because of what Burrow and Herber have done. So if you're telling me that there's a part of the Dolphins front office and coaching staff that goes, hey, we have to know what we have in Tua. Okay. And we have to make sure we really are happy with him because we could have this Texas pick that could get us either Lawrence or Fields. Okay. But are you telling me without that Texans pick or a different quarterback that was starting in front of Tua that Tua was never going to play this year as the fifth pick? Of course he was going to play. Of course he was going to play. And that's one of those breakdowns where it sounds

kind of smart. It's kind of interesting. You're like, oh, wow. Okay. That makes sense. Like, what's going on here? But it's clearly the least important aspect of the decision to wanting to see your top five pick actually play during his rookie season. And it reminds me of something, which is connected, not directly to, but it's connected because it's one of those stories that I remember drove me nuts was the Trevor Lawrence story with Clemson, Kelly Bryant's a starter, Trevor Lawrence steps in. And then people said what, and a lot of people said this former players, analysts, college football people. And they said, okay, Dabo's doing this because he knows he needs Trevor Lawrence to beat Alabama. Like, wait, what? Say that sentence again out loud. And I'm going to do it for you right now. Dabo's playing Trevor Lawrence over Kelly

Bryant because he needs a guy like Trevor Lawrence because Bama's going to be waiting for him at the end of the year. So what you're saying is, is Dabo in a non-Alabama threat season would have played the inferior quarterback on purpose? Do you realize how insane that is? Because first of all, let's just start, it's wrong. He played Trevor Lawrence because he's better than Kelly Bryant, as we've seen, okay? He played the better guy. That's it. Now, are there certain times where it's a senior and it's the freshman, like Fields probably should have played at Georgia. I'm sure Georgia fans don't want to hear that. And as you watch Fields take off, you're like, dude, maybe you find a way to keep that guy

happy because we saw that video of him leaving when Fromm was still in the game and Fields came in a couple of plays. They won. Somebody said to Fields, hey, nice game. He's like, whatever. He's like, all I did was hand it off. And so I don't want to beat up on Georgia too much because I think even with Jalen Hurts and Tua, when they were both there and then Jalen Hurts gets benched for Tua in the title

game. Saban is very big on the locker room and the presence. That's why Sims started over Coker when Coker transferred over to Florida State. So there's more to these decisions than just the one guy is better. But the Kelly Bryant, Trevor Lawrence gap was massive. And Dabo was probably trying to give Kelly the chance and see how it went. And it wasn't going to be enough. But I can't imagine Dabo going, you know what? Let me play the guy that's not going to be the number one pick in a couple years. Just because.

Let's be worse. Like we could be be awesome but let's just be worse and that was that whole analysis of well the only reason they're playing trevor is because they have to worry about alabama so as you say that out loud that means you actually believe the head coach you go well imagine how good this offense could be if we're playing the other guy but yeah let's not do that let that. Let's do that next year. We'll do that next year instead. And then Kelly Bryant bounced. And, you know, that's his move. So the Tua thing is already off to a really, really weird start. Yes, they want to see him, but there's almost a certainty, okay?

A certainty Tua was playing this year, even if they didn't have the Texas pick. Okay, this is really cool. A cool opportunity here. I was talking with one of my buddies this week. He goes, Hey, look, do you want RJ Hampton? I was like, absolutely. The guy's going on the first round. We know potentially lottery as well. And then Mike Miller, NBA legend and a vet who's actually working RJ out. So we have them both here at the same time. So RJ, let's start with you. We know the skill set, we know your story, and it's different. So I think some people at first were like, how come this guy's not going to Duke? How come he's going to New Zealand? I watched those games. It's a great league. So what was that experience like for you deciding to go in a different path, getting you ready for what's a dream to be drafted coming up in a week? what's a dream to be drafted coming up in a week? Right. I think you hit it on the nail when you say getting me ready. You know, the biggest thing for me was wanting to be, you know,

as ready as possible coming into the draft and coming into the season in my rookie year. So I definitely thought the New Zealand, the NBL, those guys, those players could definitely get me, you know, ready as fast as possible. What was the most surprising part of it for you? I would just say how good everybody was in the league. I mean, the guards in the league were great. I mean, you have guys that have floated in and out the NBA, played in EuroLeague. So those guys are really good. Now, Mike, when you get RJ, and I don't know how long this started, give us your timeline,

you getting RJ in the gym and those first days of working out. Well, the timeline is that I've known him since he was a sophomore in high school and i recruited him when i was coaching at university of memphis and just loved everything about his game and you know to give credit to rj and the maturity of him what he said being ready being a professional and being a professional at an early age he actually we reached out to each other he kind of reached out to me about, you know, getting ready for the NBA draft, getting his jump shot to where he wanted it.

You know, not many young kids identify what they need to get better at, especially kids that are, you know, top 10 picks. So he's been willing to change. We reached out to each other. Now we've been in the gym now for about three or four months, and it's been a significant change. He's gotten way better,

and it's just been fun to watch his progress i think rj's like if i don't know if you're the best athlete in the draft you might be the best athlete in the draft i mean just movement alone and all that stuff i think anthony edwards is in the conversation as well but if somebody if when a scout or gm says hey rj's the best athlete in the draft i'm not going to tell them they're wrong that's how special i think you are mike on your end of that when you're taking somebody who's maybe athlete first, and I know it's playmaking ability and all the stuff that I saw back in high school, but what's the first thing you do when you have a to-do, a checklist for him as a player?

Well, obviously, you don't get in the way of those things, right? He checks every box and was an elite scorer. Again, I've worked with a ton, a ton of NBA basketball players, young rookies that come in the league. When you play 17 years in the league and, you know, people put you in a category of being a pretty good shooter, a lot of times young kids want to work with you. For him, identifying that and getting to work early on that was so important for him. I think that's what separates and shows his maturity level is most of the times when I work with young kids on their jump shot, it was when it was almost too late and he's getting out in front of it so

the stuff that he's been able to do if you watched his games against Memphis or even OKC when he played for New Zealand you couldn't you couldn't keep him out of the paint I think he is the best athlete in this draft when you talk about size and speed and just getting obviously Anthony Edwards is an elite athlete but when he doesn't have the speed RJ has. But when you start doing that and now you slow it down and become a jump shooter and you can play off your jump shot, I think it's just going to be night and day for him. And so, you know, that was the one thing that we had to work on.

I couldn't – you know, I didn't want to work on anything with his ball handling super tight. He's learning how to play in pick and rolls, which is going to be great. But just playing off that jump shot, minimalizing his jump shot, making it where he can be more and more consistent on his jump shot. And so if you talk to him now and you see him now, his base is way better. There's less movement in the ball, which allows him to be more consistent on his jump shot.

And now if he can play off a jump shot, and I believe in two to three years he'll be a high 30s to low 40% three-point shooter, this game's that match. He's identified that, and he's gotten to work. RJ, I remember watching Get Up. I used to be on that show and be in that studio, and you roll out there in the tux. You've got the family, and you're making the announcement.

You're going to New Zealand. How close was it? Was there a day where you were like, no? Was Duke the school if you were going to go to college? Was it actually going to be Duke? It wasn't. Duke wasn't in my top four. My top four was Kansas, Kentucky, Memphis, and Tech.

Where were you going to go then? Back then, I would have went to Kansas. But no, now I want to go to Memphis. Memphis. He lying to you, Ryan. He lies, man. Hey, Ryan, that's why I don't have a job no more. I couldn't even argue you, Ryan. He lies, man. Hey, Ryan, that's why I don't have

a job no more. I couldn't even argue with you. Man, don't listen to him. Don't listen to him. Don't listen to him. We'll ask you about James Wiseman later then if you guys want to do that.

RJ, you, you know, maybe it was that Duke fans were the most mad. I mean, that was the thing that always drives me. Like, there's nothing more. Yeah. They gave me a lot of love. Like, when I went to go overseas, Maybe it was that Duke fans were the most mad. I mean, that was the thing that always drives me. There's nothing more.

They gave me a lot of love. When I went to go overseas, Memphis, they gave me a lot of love. I didn't get too much love from Kansas or Duke. Kentucky really didn't care. They had a bunch of people come in. That's a first. He was going to Memphis, man. He lied to you.

All right. I'm going to put that in the headline then. RJ turns down Memphis, joins us on the show you look i get a little bit older and and i maybe i get a little softer and i never want to give a kid a hard time because i know what i was like as a kid and i wasn't asked to do any shit nearly as important as what you're going through right and so when i see adults rip a kid for not going to their school it's like the fastest track to that guy's a loser and i saw the hate so i think there might have been more duke hate reaction yeah that's why i keep thinking

back to duke but here's what i i love about the challenge that you put yourself through is because you could have gone like when i watched cole anthony at unc like the whole thing was built around him and he put up 18 a game and we'll see what happens with him in the draft but you go from dictating every possession while you were in high school, running up and down, making all these decisions, flying through kids, trying to guard you. And then you get to New Zealand and you were asked immediately almost to accept a rotation role where it wasn't about you. How tough was that? I think it was definitely tough. Just the mindset of always being the guy, always being the person that has to do everything. But I definitely feel like once my teammates kind of talk to me,

once my coaching staff talk to me and I learn the adjustment of how to play with other great guys, because, you know, in high school, I mean, you can play with, you know, a couple of three, four stars, but I was the only five star I ever played with. So learning how to play with, you know, professionals and other great guys, I kind of embraced it towards, you know, the fifth, sixth, seventh game of the season. I'm like, man, this is what's going to be like an NBA.

It's not going to be me and a bunch of losers in the NBA. I mean, there's NBA caliber players. So I think that got me ready for sure. Do you know how good – Ryan, can I jump in on that real quick? Absolutely. Take it wherever you need to go, Mike. I think the biggest thing for him on that, what people got to understand,

is he was projected to be a top five pick. I think he's better than that now, right, going to leave. And the easy way would have been going to college. And high school coaches and college coaches, for the most part, are a tribute to a lot of the kids' early struggles in the NBA to me because what you just said, Ryan, I think it was spot on, is listen, when you're in high school, he was that little hell of an average of 38, 40 a game,

winning state championships. But as a high school coach, if you want to win games, you give him the ball and get out of the way, and he learns how to be – he's just that good. In college, we have a job to get him to the league, and he's our best player. You let them play. They're never told no. And so he goes to a physical league in New Zealand where he's told to go sit

in a corner where he's one of the best athletes in the world. So he playing physically he's 18 years old he's doing something that he's been told no like I think whoever passes up on him this draft is going to really regret it because I think him going over there definitely people haven't seen him in a while and it's hurt his draft stock a little bit but he's still I think he's better than the top five draft prospect right now and he's further along than the rest of them because when he gets there, he'll be able to, like you said, accept the role, understand no, understand that in New Zealand he only played 16 to 18 minutes every once in a while. So those things are so important for the growth of a kid going into the pros.

So he's better than he was when he was a top five prospect before 11 zealand and now he's better so i just to me i think it's gonna be really interesting to see how this next year plays out i'm excited to see it the draft process is i mean you guys look at the mocks you can pretend you don't um and as you say you think mike he's a top five and then his stock has taken a hit and it's really important to point out too like if people haven't watched him play and it's not always easy, I'm lucky enough to have some programs where I can watch the full games. And it's important to point out, like, I'm glad you brought up the minutes thing because somebody will look like eight points a game. Like, what happened? And I'm like, no, like that was an older team and you weren't given the keys the way LaMelo was. And I will get to that a little bit later. But how how do you react you see yourself late lottery, maybe outside of the lottery, going up into this?

I think at the beginning when I kind of started to see it, I kind of started to see my drafts fall. I was kind of mad about it. But ever since I've gotten with Mike and we've been, you know, training, we've been doing so much stuff. Like, he's given me so many different jewels. Like, I feel almost like, I feel like it's kind of a blessing in disguise, honestly,

to be able to see teams pass up on me or see where I think I should go and then where I do go. And then in my first year kind of prove everybody wrong. I definitely feel like, like Mike said, I feel like I'm still that same kid that was a top five recruit, top five draft prospect straight out of high school. So I think it's just, it's more, I'm more grateful for the position than anything right now because, you know,

I get to showcase what people don't think I can do anymore. Did you get pissed seeing LaMelo get to take 30 footers 20 times a game and then you had to come off the bench?

I really didn't. Honestly, though, I really didn't. But, I mean, he got a lot of shots. He got a lot, he got to do a lot, which is credit to him

because he's a great player. But at the same time, do I think I could have done the same thing? Yeah. Well, that look on your face, that look on your face just cleansed. I don't care what you said. Go ahead. That just goes to show more credit to his maturity than anything is, you know, most kids don't understand.

Like, it's about fit and opportunity. So he's not looking at it as, listen, I believe and I know for a fact, I've worked out a ton of kids of where he's at talent-wise. I think he's probably – there's three to four potential stars in his draft. RJ is one of them. But he also understands, like, where he's drafted is really big on his career, his development, the organization, and best fit. You know what I mean? I think it has a lot to do with it. And so he looks at it as a blessing to see where he's at, his career, his development, the organization, and best fit.

You know what I mean? I think it has a lot to do with it. And so he looks at it as a blessing to see where he's at, but it's going to be interesting to see how it plays out because it's going to take some huge balls to have RJ's name on the draft boards and not take him. RJ, did you know how good Mike was when he first started? When I first started with him? No, no, as a player, 20 Mike was when he first started? When I first started with him? No, no.

As a player, 20 years ago, he got drafted. I wasn't even born 20 years ago. Yeah, but I mean, you do have the internet, right? I mean, do you know how good he was? Growing up, you see him on the teams. I think my first remembrance of him was probably his Memphis days because his Orlando days with T-Mac, I was like 3'4". Yeah, right. No, I'm not expecting you to start breaking moves down and nerf hooping the basement because Mike. his Memphis days because his Orlando days with T-Mac I was I was like three four three four yeah

right no I'm not I'm not expecting you to like start you know breaking moves down a nerf hoop in the basement because Mike I knew how good he was uh Mike does he your your career though is like a perfect example of all right you're this huge guy you're this really good athlete and then you have like one role and then it's like wait is he not good enough because in orlando gets like frustrated with you because they took you so high which wasn't fair and then you go to memphis and turn into like a stud and then it turns into everybody wants mike miller but you because i think probably because some of the back stuff too like you kept evolving you kept reinventing yourself the entire time so how important is that for you when you're training guys? Because every kid probably thinks

of himself in one way and it may be up to you to tell him you may be different. Well, I think the biggest thing is, is who you are now is not who you have to be. And I think, you know, I think that as, as a player, that's what you got to understand it at the end of the day, playing time is oxygen. So what you've got to be able to do at a young age to identify, how can I get on the floor? And as I get on the floor, now I can evolve. Like for a perfect example, RJ going out to look at and understanding where the game of basketball is going and what you have to do to be able to play it.

His size and speed and athleticism is not going anywhere for a long time. So how do I become the best basketball player I can become and get on the floor no matter what? What if I get drafted with a team that has a ton of athletes? I don't want to just be another one of the athletes. Now I'm one of those guys that shoot in high 30s from three. So the way the game is going, you're looking at teams right now, they're playing three point guards at a time. Why? Because you can't keep me out of the paint. We shoot the ball well, and it's impossible to guard. The game has completely

changed. When I came in 2000, it was the first to 88, 90 points. Now it's the first to 110 to 115. So they're looking at guys completely different, and RJ's game is evolving with that. Can I be that athletic 6'5", 6'6", point guard who now you can't go under screens, who lives in the paint, who starts dominoes for everybody else, and at the same time, oh, yeah, I'm shooting 40 for three? Like you won't be able to keep me out of pain and i can play with other guards because the

game has completely changed when i came in you were a position you know i mean like you were a three you were a two you were a four now it's positionless it's what who can you guard rj hampton can guard all the way up to a three so now i can play him at the one i can play with the two and i can play with three because he can guard those positions. So it's not like it used to be. You're not coming in and playing with two seven-footers, and you're going to be the point guard, and you're bringing it up every time. If I can guard a four right now, you're a four, period. How do you compare RJ to like a Halliburton who's projected to go ahead of him

or like maybe a Cole Anthony who, you know, big high school career. I would say Cole's probably not as hot now as he was before he went to UNC. UNC just had probably one of the worst years in 20 years that they've had there. How do you see your guy compared to guys that are either ahead or right there with them? Both really good players. Don't take anything away from them. But they're totally different to me. Halliburton is strictly a point guard, right?

Like Halliburton, because of his, you know, basically his size of his body. And I'm concerned a little bit. I think he's worked on it a lot, but I'm concerned a little bit with his release points and the way he shoots the ball to be really, really good. But Halliburton and Cole Anthony is more of a combo guard, but his size doesn't allow him to play one through three. Take example like what OKC did this year. They play Chris Paul.

They play Shea Gilders, Alexander. And they play Dennis Schroeder. That was the number one scoring offense in the league. Why? Because the two guards and Chris Paul is just different, right? But those guys can guard one through three. RJ Hampton of those three guys is the only one that can play one through three there and can play off the ball and on the ball.

If RJ Hampton is your secondary playmaker your secondary pink abuser it's a wrap for uh defenses and so I think that's what makes him unique his athleticism can allow you to guard the one through three his secondary playmaking because of the size and athleticism finishing at the rim is different and he's going to be able to shoot the ball I think because of what I've seen better than those guys in two to three years for sure. Now on this Zoom call, I can see RJ's in a spot with no wall, which I can respect, as you can see my setup here. It's just in and out.

If I live somewhere, I want to be able to get out real quick. I don't have to worry about taking stuff down off the walls. What is this now? Look, you already got paid. So a lot of a lot of the guys that your boys with from high school that went to school look like, man, I thought I was getting

that paycheck in June. Now it's November. What's it been like waiting and having to go through something that's unlike any other draft class? I mean, honestly, like going through the waiting process, like the first couple of months,

like probably like April, May, June, you're like super stressed. You're like, oh my gosh, like what's going on? I can't imagine. I start going like, and then they said like, okay, October 16th. And I was super excited for that day. And then they push it back a whole nother month. You get that same kind of like stressful, like as you're just changing. But I think now, I mean, we're 11, 12 days away. It's a wrap now. Now, you had mentioned how much you studied Luka and how much that influenced your decision. What did you see in his game and his path

that led you to kind of go the way you went? I think the biggest thing for me is, I mean, Luka came in the NBA. He didn't have a rookie curve. He didn't have a rookie ball. He didn't slow down. I mean, he had an injury, but, I mean, that was that was it uh you see luca what is it this was the second year all first team nba i mean he just looked so much more polished so much more ahead of the guys mentally i mean he's not the fastest he's not the most athletic he doesn't shoot the ball the best

but mentally he was just so far ahead of those guys in his draft class and i I think, you know, you go over and play in New Zealand or Australia, NBL, you're going to get that. You're going to get ahead in certain ways. I mean, I was playing against Andrew Bogut three times this year. I mean, there's no other college player, even though Andrew Bogut is like a 15-, 16-year vet. There's no college big that's as smart as Andrew Bogut, as big as Andrew Bogut, that has the tricks and different things he has.

Now, did Bogut try to break your ribs with an illegal screen at any point? He does set illegal screens. He's the worst. I mean, he's great, actually. It's amazing, but... Oh, my God. Yeah, so I got hit by a screen my first game in the NBL,

and I was like, ah, yeah, that hurts. Did anyone... I don't even know how to answer this or how the answer would go because i don't know if it's a guy from over there or an american guy that's this down there who who was the most disrespectful the most disrespectful thing to you because obviously they want to push you around a little bit mentally not just physically where your first intro was like all right these are men trying to give me a hard time yeah it was this guy from he played for southeastern melbourne phoenix and i

really don't even remember his name but like every time I came off the screen, there was an elbow to the back. There was trips. There was pulling my jersey. And I was like, all right. But he was only like 6'2", 6'3", and he was kind of scrawny. So he wasn't like a really big guy, but, you know, definitely him. I forgot his name. Wow, that's the ultimate payback.

You can't even remember his name. Hey, Ryan, here's a good thing. He's not coming to the league cliff robinson charles oakley man those guys tear me up they won't see me oh lord yeah look shout out to cliff man that's uh that's that's a guy that goes way back for for those of us that watch yukon hoops mike who does rj ask you about the most, guys you played with? Kobe. Kobe. He loves Kobe. What do you guys talk about? I mean, just listen, for all the kids that grew up in that era,

Kobe is Kobe, it's LeBron, it's MJ, it's all. But he's got a passion for Kobe. I think a lot of it's just, you know, what it's like guarding a guy. I mean, it's not fun. It's an easy answer. I got cooked a lot. I mean, it's not fun. It's an easy answer. I got cooked a lot. I got cooked a lot by Kobe. Who wins right now between you and RJ?

Okay, no, hold on, hold on. Let me go first. Let me go first. Let me go first. I won the last game, but, like, they only film when he scores. They don't ever film when I score. Hey, Ryan, bring your own film crew. That's the message for everybody. Bring your own film crew.

I'm going to tell you, Ryan, I have zero chance against him. But I set the rules. I get a little old school. Two dribbles. You know what I mean? Make the guy play off his jump shot. Back to the basket. Two dribbles.

Only Mike can get fouled. Mike, where do you want to see RJ go? To be honest with you, to me, there's whatever the fit to me needs to be the development side of it, where he can play early. They put him in positions where his growth is good. I mean, I don't want to just name teams, to be honest with you. it, where he can play early. They put him in positions where his growth is good. I mean, I don't want to just name teams, to be honest with you. No, that's cool. No, I get it.

Because if you start naming right fits, but it's a later pick, then it sounds like you're not rooting for your guy to go higher. So I think fit's important. I really do. I think for his development, again, the maturity is really, really there for him. You know, as hard as everybody wants to be, you know, the third pick or the fourth pick or the fifth pick in the draft, right?

Like that's what you shoot for. But that's one night. And so the longevity of it is the fit, where you're going to get playing time, real minutes. And you're not asked to do more than you have to that early. Like I think he can carry a heavy load right now, but also that gets exhausting. And so development, where they're going to keep, keep encouraging his growth is the most important to me. Um, RJ, do you have, see, the thing is, is we all know what's bullshit,

right? Like some teams are telling you they love, no, they they're telling you they love you and they're not interested in you because they're hoping you say, Oh, this team was really interested. Is there any team that you do feel like in this odd lead up to it that you've connected with? And to be honest, like, I feel like I have connected with teams, but it's so weird because I feel like I connected with all of them. Like, I'm just a – I'm a good person to talk to or an easy person to talk to.

So whenever I talk to teams, I feel like they love me, but then I, like, I go back and I'm like, do they really like me? Or are they, are they just, that's the rest of his life, Ryan. Yeah. You're used to it. Yeah. No, but yeah, look, RJ, you're, you're incredibly impressive kid. And I don't mean to say kid in a, in a demeaning way. You're a young guy. You're smart as hell. We know you're not just the basketball resume, but we know the transcripts and all that kind of stuff. But, um but um what's what's the weirdest part of this because instead of going to chicago or going to individual workouts and flying all over the place like what has this been like for you trying to get these workouts in where i know

the audience is limited so most teams can't have even close to a full staff i know it's a lot of zoom interviews so give me a story or give me an example of like a day in your life trying to figure out how to meet up with one of these teams i think like for the past like probably three four months like mike or dan uh they'll hit me and say you know we got it we got a zoom call and then like some zooms will last like 30 minutes i've had one that has been two and a half hours so it just it just depends on the team and you know if they are interested or just kind of trying to try to fill you out and then like when teams come and you know they watch you work out you know how they how are interested or just kind of trying to, trying to fill you out. And then like when teams come and, you know, they watch you work out, you know, how they,

how they started to be on the last couple of weeks or so, I think that's been good. I feel like it's not very, it's not really a weird process, but it's kind of, I feel like it's a better process, but you know, I'm shooting in my home gym. You know, I have the people around me. I feel like that, you know, let me succeed and, you know, are rooting for me. So I definitely think it's a lot better than, you know, going around to the combine, different cities, that kind of stuff.

I'll say this, Ryan. Like, I don't think it's the weirdest thing. I think the scariest thing about this is going into it, if you haven't done your homework or you weren't ahead of the curve on this, is this draft, not just largely with this draft, you're going to miss on guys. And because before, like you said, they would bring 15, 16, 20 people into their workouts, maybe even more, 30 kids into the workouts, and now they have 10.

And I think they're going to miss on a lot of guys, and they're going to use it as a crutch. Like before, it would be a fireball offense. And so for me, I think if they didn't do their job, I think it's scary because I know for a fact if R.J. Hampton walked into the top ten teams and went in their facility and they put him through an uncomfortable workout, he's prepared for that and he'd win them over every time. And so now with the limited workouts they get and the access

and the limited travel, I think people are going to miss. And it's going to be – it's scary for every kid, not just RJ, but scary for them. To me, it's a fireball fence if you don't know by now. Yeah, RJ, I feel for you on this one because I just know with your physical abilities and then to know just you're never out of shape that you would blow a lot of these teams away. Like workout-wise, I think specific to you,

already hearing about some of these other guys that are out ofwise, I think specific to you, already hearing about some of these other guys that are out of shape, I can't believe you could already be out of shape when you had nothing to do but be in shape for the draft. That's not the case with you. Honestly, I feel like it's bad timing. It's just bad luck. Look, maybe it works out on draft night

and it goes better than you think, but specific to how you would work out in front of these teams, it's an advantage that you should have had. And Ryan, think about this. They haven't seen him play in a long time, and his development changed. If you saw his body change already, just the size, he's gotten bigger, he's faster, he's more athletic. You see it in person.

Tape is one thing. You see it in person. If he had worked out for all one through ten, we wouldn't even be having these conversations. So are you worried at all, RJ? Are you worried that he might fall? I'm not worried, honestly. I don't think I'm worried at all. I think I would maybe worry

in April or May, but I don't think I'm worried about falling no more. He's not falling nowhere. Yeah, we're not falling. Okay, look, I'm just getting the full scope of the story here, Mike. Don't worry about it. Why we beat you up, Ryan?

No, man. I scope of the story here, Mike. Why we beat you up, right? Why we beat you up? No, man, I get it. But Mike, you know, it's funny because like I'll always check myself where I go. There's nothing more predictable than older people making fun of younger people and saying like, oh, you're doing it wrong. You're doing it wrong.

And it happens in my industry all the time where it's like, what? Like, are you serious? Like, that's what you think. And then I'll think maybe I was wrong. Maybe I should have handled it the way the younger guy handled it and wanting everything right away how has this been for you going from young dude lottery pick to vet to now not playing but this

next chapter of your life and understanding younger players like what's the most i would say that the moments that you've had like this shit's different now but now this is what i'm doing i think the biggest thing is just having the patience with it and, um, and you know, letting them know at the same time, they're going to have their own courses. Everyone's going to go down their own paths, but you know, when you're sitting in a locker room every year with a new traffic, you'd be in one of them at one point. Right. And you see the mistakes,

the constant mistakes. It's not, it's not, it's very rarely anything different. They don't work. They don't listen. All right. They're not prepared. They don't have a, they don't have a set plan. They don't have a routine. Like you, you, by year eight or nine, I knew exactly what rookie was going to make it after four months.

No kidding. Yeah, because you have an example. You have an example like one that did and one that didn't. I don't want to, I don't want to use guys name. Well, give me one that would give me a positive then give me a positive one where a rookie that maybe wasn't a top overall pick kyle lowry kyle lowry he was a pit day one he he came over got got got veteran guys got an assistant coach that he felt comfortable with started his routine went to his routine every day he worked i knew he was going to be a stud i just knew it because at the end of the day you can't hide that what they're the ones that that that uh you know because the hardest

thing when you go from college to nba or anything you do is the time right making sure you go out there and do it so when you see kids that come in uh gravitate to the older players listen to the older players get assistant coaches and start a routine early and practice starts at noon i'm gonna be there at 10 30 every day i'm gonna lift my first 45 minutes i'm gonna shoot this many shots it gets boring but the ones that fight through the boredom of it and set their routines the stuff that me and rj are talking about every day now is how we're going to prepare when we get to the next place those are the ones that ultimately make it in the sky and end up being all-stars in this league because you you're always working to become better

and you're taking care of your business. You're being professional. Those are the ones that you see. RJ, now that Mike didn't say it, who are the guys he says sucked? I'm just kidding. Let's finish with this. Let's finish with something fun.

Have you let yourself, you know, Mike got to do it. Little kids like me would pretend, you know, in our backyard shooting hoops and announcing ourselves being drafted and i think we all did it and very few of us actually but it's going to happen to you man it's going to happen in a very short amount of time have you allowed yourself to think about that just joy you're going to feel when it's official i ain't allowed myself to think about it yet come on really i'm still in work mode right now but i think i've been i've been thinking about what i'm going to allow myself to think about it yet come on really i'm still in work mode right now but i think i've been i've been thinking about what i'm gonna allow myself to feel that way so that's probably the

draft on wednesday probably be tuesday night i'm probably gonna be so happy in my bed well look man i i wish you a ton of luck i hope it goes the way you guys been planning for it you know i know i know you're young but to put all your life's work into it to this point and achieve a dream almost no one gets to man there's just uh i always have a lot of respect for you guys for for getting to that because you'll always be able to say like hey man you know this is the deal and then many things that come after that thank you brother appreciate it all right cool that was a lot of fun i gotta tell you about the same game parlays on fanduel sportsbook they're pretty simple and people have been on fire with these right now.

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It couldn't be easier to find. We went through it. Super easy. You must be 21 or older and present in New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Illinois, West Virginia, Indiana, Colorado, Iowa, Tennessee. Refund issued is non-withdrawable. Site credit that expires in seven days. Max refund $10.

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I have a ridiculous house in the South Fork. I have every toy you could possibly imagine. And best of all, kids, I am liquid. So, now you know what's possible. Let me tell you what's required. Life advice. RR at gmail.com. Sorry we don't get to all these because we're getting

quite a few of these thousands a week now. Okay, I'm going to just refrain from almost using anyone's name now because some of you guys have put in too many. You'll say, don't use my name, and then you put in a million details. You're like, this wouldn't be super hard to figure out who this is. So, alright. Freshman in college at a great school. Funny guy. Getting in good many, you'll say, don't use my name. And then you put in a million details. You're like, this wouldn't be super hard to figure out who this is. So, all right. Freshman in college at a great school, funny guy getting in a good shape, but lacking the hate category,

clocking in at five, seven. Hey man, I met this girl who's perfect in everything I look for. We got drunk and hooked up one night afterwards. I was an idiot. So we get a college freshman on our hands, folks. All right. Afterwards, I was an idiot, got overexcited and confident and told her how I felt. And she said she felt the same way but quote wasn't ready i guess she didn't really feel the same way we never talked about it since we hang out often most times watching a movie we cuddle and are close during the film a little spooning i guess here is what our man is saying but i can never make a move scared i may misread a situation so wait she's coming over to cuddle with you and watch movies the whole time. Um, you're thinking about this too much.

All right. I think about her nonstop, almost in an unhealthy way. So you really like her. That's cool, man. It's cool to open up and care. I don't know whether she's into me or not, but then again, who watches a movie with a guy five days straight and doesn't like him. Exactly.

That's our point. All right. Halloween comes. She proclaims she quote, likes me while drunk again, but then proceeds to FaceTime her ex probably explains why she's not ready for anything serious. We all, uh, with all the mixed signals, what's my next move? I don't want to be the, where do we stand guy and makes things potentially awkward, but I also don't want to be stay up wondering how she feels. I know she's into me, but I don't know where to go from here. All right. Um, look at that age, man. I mean, it's a really, really young age.

I know you think you're growing up an adult and you're 18 and all that kind of stuff, but like you're two years removed from hoping to borrow the car if you even have a license. So, uh, being at that age, it's a weird age. Cause you, you really do think you have it all figured out. You're out of the house. You're like, this is awesome. You have access to things you never had access before. And part of that is actually like getting to meet new females all the time. It's, it's like, it's pretty overwhelming to be honest with you, especially depends on where you come from. Um, if you come from a place where it shuts down for eight months of the year, like I did, and you're like, what the hell? Why there's a girl in a towel going to get to take a shower

in the dorm? Like what am I allowed to be in the hallway right now? All right. So, um, I, you know, a lot of the college relationships, most of these never work out anyway. We're not going to know this. Like you care about somebody, you want to spend time with them. You want to know how they feel about you. That's all very normal. But most of these relationships don't go anywhere. So if you could ever do the time machine of like, Hey, now I have everything I know and all this knowledge. And now I'm 18 year old freshman. Again, I wouldn't care about any relationships. I'm not saying never care about anything, but I definitely wouldn't get too worked up about anything because none of it really even matters. Like you're supposed to have these sort of small, weird friends with benefits. You know,

you're all these, like some of your friends are going to be mature enough. And some of the girls are going to like, I actually feel bad for girls in college because all these guys get there and they freak out and the girls think they're going to meet like this guy that's like long-term. And then by the time the girls are sophomores, they figure out all the guys suck. And then by the time the girls are seniors, they want nothing to do with you. And you're a senior and you don't want to go out with any senior girls because there's a new crop of girls coming in all the time. And it's all like friend zone. And then the girls that are seniors are dating guys that are like art studio dudes who lived off campus years ago because they're so sick of your shit for the last four years. So overthinking any

relationship in college is a waste of time, but you can't do it until you're older. So I'm asking you to kind of do the impossible. So here's what I would do. I would not at five, like it's the, Hey, I like you. Where do we stand thing is turn off to her obviously. And yes, you guys are probably drunk all the time. So just ride it out, man. Just ride with it. Like if she says, Hey, I like you. Um, when she's drunk again, just be like, all right, cool. We can hang out or we can not. And it'll probably like blow her mind, you know? Cause you'll, you'll don't talk like an 18 year old talk like a 28 year old. You're like, yeah, what's up? I got time, but you know, I'm not here to play these games. And it would probably totally like, Whoa, this guy, instead of kind of being like weak and hey, do you like me or what's going on, which is fine because I did the same shit back then. But you're you're the worst thing you can do is like freak out about these month to month relationships that are fairly short lived at this age.

She's going to change her mind about you. You're probably going to change her mind about her. And that's why a lot of this stuff is just weird. That's why a lot of people aren't full-fledged dating somebody in college where it's like, all right, I met my wife sophomore year. Although it depends on the school too. My school was like that, where it was kind of notorious. I think there was some scattering of poor in Vermont that said, don't expect to meet your future wife or husband here.

It has one of the lowest marriage rates of any major university. And I was like, all right, have we talked about Arizona State yet? So each school is different, but I guess the point is, I know it's hard, man, at 18 to be like, all right, I'm not going to think this way because you're 18, but I can promise you, I promise you, if you spend a lot of time and it's unhealthy and you're freaking out about it all the time, there's going to be years removed from you. You're like, I can't believe I did that. So the trick is to try to get yourself to get out of that thought process now, even though that's a really hard thing to do. But I've just, don't worry about it. Who cares if she FaceTimes her ex, whatever. You know what I mean?

Like if she doesn't want to date you and she wants to do some of that stuff and you just still want to spend time with her, just go ahead and spend time with her, but don't raise your expectations and don't ask her stuff that freaks her out kyle anything to add to that that's a good one get in where you fit in man and whenever she's got time for you that's it yeah it's just it's a very difficult thing to do and go hey 18 but have have the mentality of a 30 year old guy it's not worth it being disappointed in college it's so such a short time yeah like if i knew what i knew even at 30 and had that mindset as a freshman and then you know sophomore junior or whatever i mean it would have been you know it it would have been on like nobody like you read about kids because you just but i didn't i didn't know that stuff back then i

just didn't so it's it's the trick of being you know when you're older you wish you're young and when you're younger you don't know really how to process a lot of stuff so i don't know it'd be a good uh science experiment i think they did that though jimmy lee curtis and who was it lindsey lohan freaky friday yeah there you go okay this one's heavy i'm giving everybody a warning all right here's the deal i've been a listener since july um i'm your favorite sports personality. Thank you. Okay. Here's my man. He's 26 male. Okay. Thanks for pointing that out. 5'10", but a 5'8 wingspan. I don't know why everybody started doing their stats and everything. It didn't. Shout out to Dan Patrick, who's the OG of this, where they would have callers and just go 5'10", 2'20".

I remember there was one guy who was like 5'8", 330, big Braves fan. And they were like, whoa. And they would hit the little bell. So I don't want anybody to think I'm taking it from him. All right. Athletic, starting to get my man body. All right. Well, how athletic are you? Oh, he said he's got like a little Jon Snow, Ricky Rubio deal. All right. That's cool. Midwest, 80,000 a year. Analyst, loves his career. Okay, great. Golf, loves basketball, Bucs fan, cool. This is a major part of my life that I've left out of the above, and that's my wife, which is why I'm writing in. We've been married since August 17, dated my wife steadily since you were 15. Whoa. Okay, that's very early to meet your wife,

but it's also, in a way, kind cool. Cause like that person knows you better than anyone because you, you, you became adults together and now you're, you know, you're still together. All right, great. Uh, it's an amazing woman, kind, open-hearted, beautiful ex-athlete, independent, intelligent. I love her. Similar to me, dream job, uh, finding career success. We're very social people, both joint friends and separate friends. My family truly loves her family truly loves me. Uh, we have two dogs together and discuss having children. Obviously, every partnership has its faults, but we've always stabilized. We both work hard to set up the humble and balanced life we have. It's been an amazing ride. 18 months ago, my wife had an affair with a woman. Okay. We both knew and respected this woman as she was my wife's former coworker. This woman

was also married and since divorced. When they hung out, went to the bar together or would text call, I was never threatened. Why should I have been? I don't blame you for not seeing that. My wife was very forthcoming and honest about the relationship and its development once it became a serious thing. She was honest about it once you found out about it. And so our emailer here says he's known about it for 14 months. The biggest challenge for both of us that we've ever faced in our young lives before this.

Neither of us had an ounce of infidelity in our 11 years together. I have a very liberal view of the world, accepting of, you know, he's he wants everybody to make sure that like, look, I'm not looking down on it. It's specific to him. His wife cheated on him. Thus, I don't hate my wife and I do want her in my life. The question is, in what capacity? Wife, lifelong, lifelong friend. This part has made it complex to navigate because if it were another man, I'm not sure I'd even be writing in.

Additionally, my wife doesn't know how she would define her sexuality anymore and is conflicting wants, needs on future relationships. As you can imagine, I never would have thought this would happen to us. A lot of the emotions, conversations, and feelings don't translate well to writing, reading. I'll articulate it. He said he's tried to send in previous emails. It's too long. I'll skip giving you the TikTok my last 14 months. Generally, you have to know is this. One day, I think we can erase it and fight for our marriage. The next day, I have 18 holes with the boys and say, fuck it, hitting reset on the romantic part of my life, proving to everyone I'm happy with myself and for her. The next day, I feel it's disconnecting, but still very happy with our new

futures. Next day, I miss her and I don't care what happened. I want her back. The next day, I see how happy her new intimate relationship makes her and I'm sad. So is she still with her? It sounds like she is. All right. So we're content in this weird arrangement. We both acknowledge that the pandemic hasn't helped in our decision-making process. I've decided to get unstuck. I'm planning to move out. I believe physical distancing and removing from the daily emotional reliance will help clarify our needs separately. I'm not sure what to emotionally expect. The step I've spent the last 14 months becoming more complacent with my situation because our lives are comfortable and generally still good and everything except our direct relationship.

Not sure how long, but frankly, we need to shake it up and start taking some action steps. Throughout all of this, I still have a lot of love for her. But wait a minute. Throughout all of this, I still have a lot of love for the life that I'm privileged to live. So that's pretty impressive, man. You're sitting here and you're not doing a complete woe is me. Um, even though this has turned your life upside down and you're feeling good about all the things that you have in your life that are positive.

And it sounds like you have a lot of positive things. So, uh, he asked me a couple of things here at the end, maybe I'll get to it, but all right, this is tough. This is a haymaker. And I'm sure there's some of you listening now, and I'm sure maybe me in my twenties, I'm like, whoa, dude, that's awesome. All right. And let's, let's stay away from that. Cause it isn't awesome. You feel like whether it's a male or a female, your wife cheated on you and you feel betrayed. Like there's a trust level there. And without being entirely immature about it, um, it's, it's clear. It doesn't, it doesn't mean anything. It may be processed differently, but it still is a betrayal because you're in a marriage here and she was going behind your back and extending some sort

of emotional relationship that it clearly became physical which appears is still the case uh so i'll admit to you know full transparency if i always think like if my wife cheated on me she cheated on me with another woman i I know I would just process it differently. I don't know that I would like it. It would be different because if it were a guy and it were a guy that I knew, I'm actually scared of what I would do. I am. I'm scared to death of what I would do. But it would also depend on, hey, well, we're already going through a really bad year and you already saw all the signs and you knew something bad was going to happen.

And, you know, whatever, like you cover both going, I would be both going to your separate ways in a marriage. Then maybe I would process a little differently if I were completely blindsided. And it's like, Oh, Hey, by the way, I've been sleeping with Kyle. You know, it would, it would probably not, probably not be the best day I've ever had. So, um, you know, the fact that you got married so young, there may be this thing inside of her that you know when you mentioned her sexuality and everything that may be just really hard for her to process like she never had time away from not having you in her life during a very early time and that part probably makes it a little different for her understanding what she wants

like if she wants to not be with you then we already know that you're done here. Um, you having every day go by and all of your emotions change. That's really normal. That's totally normal. I'd say I'd have two bad breakups in my life. And one of them, I remember like a few months removed from it. I was still pretty upset about it. And then I had like this day where I didn't think about it. And I was so proud of it for that day. I was like, man, this is really great. You're turning a corner and you're turning a corner really quickly. It's only been a couple of months. Like you're going to be good to go. And then I think it lasts like two more years, maybe longer.

So the day-to-day part of it, spending all this time thinking about it is going to drive you crazy. And I could sit here and say, Hey, stop doing that. But that's stupid. It's, it's completely arrogant of anybody to tell you, Hey, stop thinking this way. When every day you have all these different emotions because you miss that person. You miss your best friend. You miss this person. You've known since you were 15, you miss this person. You built this life with, and it began with a really, really long time. And then you didn't

even see this coming. Then all of a sudden now she's dating another woman. So even if it weren't about another woman or it's, it's, I know that becomes this part of the story that is distracting, but I think the, the processing of it is still the same. If it were another man, like maybe that would make you more mad. I don't know. That makes you a worse person or whatever. I'm trying to avoid all that stuff. What I'm saying is, um, you need to figure out quickly. And you said you've seen the therapist, which I hope you would talk to before me. You need to figure out really quickly. If she ever sees you back in her life in a romantic sense, because she's telling you, no, then you got to turn the page. And honestly, with this thing, there's nothing you can do about it. Like if she's not attracted

to you and she's attracted now to the same set, like, what are you going to do about that? I've, it's happened to a couple of friends of mine. It has. Uh, and I have some friends, women that only like other women and, you know, we'll talk because we're friends and we're close. And I'll say, hey, you know, like, let's talk about it a little bit. And I'll hear about this female connection of the female in a relationship with another female where that connection is like beyond. Where for men, I think it's harder for us to understand that are straight men where you'd go, hey, I like fantasy football. And then I like fantasy football and be like, hey, do you want to go and hit some balls tomorrow? Yes. And then next Thursday, it's like, do you want to date? And I think we have a hard time going, wait a minute, what?

Where I think because of our disconnect, both male and female, and we just don't think the same way. We don't process things the same way. I think it's very fair to say that, um, that there's an emotional support that men wouldn't have for each other. Maybe it's a harder thing for men to understand the emotional support side of it because we're very kind of closed off as compared to more open, where women that I've talked to that date only other women, they're like, look, there's a connection there that you guys just don't understand. I'm like, all right, cool.

So I don't know if you're ever going to be able to compete with that. Seriously. So you got to figure that part of it first. Now, if you think there's a chance that she's going to want to get back together with you, are you always going to worry about it? Because then you're putting yourself through an entirely different hell. Now, if you want to give it a shot, I'm all for it. I'm all for it.

But you got to figure out if she's even interested in you again as a partner. And if it's a no, then what are you doing? I mean, I know you're still going to be bummed out, but, uh, you know, there's, there are some games that you can win and then there are some where you already know you have no chance. So let's put it that way. All right. So he's asking me with my brush with potential marriage around the same age. Now that you've had some distance, do you think it would have been happy in that situation would have went differently or she perceived you as more stable what are you fucking saying dude um let me just answer i'm not going to go through all of this stuff i'm just going to say uh whoever married me in my 20s i would 100 be divorced from no question because i was going to i made up my mind very early on get out of my way i'm doing all this stuff and the idea that uh another person would have would have you know there's no way anybody would have stuck it out with me because i would have not given them enough um at that time all right so here we go question

number two very comfortable being alone but it doesn't necessarily correlate to me being lonely that being said i want to take a solo road trip to clear my head i won't come back with the answers to life little male eat pray love here like Okay. But I think it will accelerate making decisions 10 or 15 days before Thanksgiving. I'll be working remotely half the time, but I don't plan on telling anyone, including my wife, until I'm heading out the door. I think I'm heading South Nashville, New Orleans, Austin. I wouldn't go to New Orleans feeling like this. I just wouldn't. Dangerous, dangerous combo. Somewhere warmer so i can get off any suggestions from a man who's taking solo trips yeah look i mean i almost think you should try to find if

there's a buddy that wants to go with you on this one because i just go solo because i go solo and granted you know when i call up a buddy be like hey could you go to the amalfi coast next month be like yeah totally let me ask my wife if i go to the amalfi coast with you in three weeks for nine days just you and i let me do you want do you want the answer now or do you want me to call you back later today? I would see if you can find a guy that can go with you that maybe can work remotely too that you're really close with instead of just being by yourself the whole time because you're going through a challenge you've never gone through here. And if you've never done that big solo road trip, maybe it's the right thing for you. Maybe it isn't. Or maybe you can go somewhere where you do a couple stops and you stop it and

see some buddies along the way so you're not completely by yourself the whole time. Cause I still don't think, even though I'm solo guy all the time, I don't think it's the best thing to always be by yourself. All right. So, uh, I guess there's only part of this Kyle that I just, I keep getting back to, I can't figure out if they're still trying to work this out. You know what I'm saying? So, um, this is a tough one. You feel betrayed, you know, something went on behind your back for over a year. And yes,

it was your wife and another woman. So I guess, you know, we put it in a different category, but still think your stomach about it. Yeah. We still, it doesn't,

you know, it can be in a different category. And at the same time, it isn't in a different category. So your world's gotten turned upside down. And I'll tell you, like, it kind of happens not this specifically.

But look, one of my best friends, he was ready to be engaged, may have actually been engaged just a long time ago. And then all of a sudden, she came back. She's like, look, I'm dating a girl, and I don't want to marry you. And for some guys, it's like, all right, cool. What am I supposed to do? For some guys, it's like, all right, cool. Like, what am I supposed to do? What it, for some guys, it's actually easier to process that. And you're like, all right, okay. Like, what am I supposed to do about that one?

As opposed to, I left you for the electrician. So I'm sorry, man. I'm sorry about that. But I would say the trip is a good idea, but don't be, if you haven't done solo trips before, which it sounds like you probably haven't because you've known your wife since you were 15, find at least solo with destinations to maybe run into some people.

So there you go. Please subscribe, rate, and review Ryan Russillo Podcast and Bringer Podcast Network. Everybody have a great weekend. We're back with our Football Monday, and we're already booked up for next week, too. An incredible author, one of the best writers of our times

is going to join us a new book that's coming out I'm not going to tell you his name yet and maybe I'll tease it on Monday but I'm pretty excited about his book incredible topic and again one of the best writers going so everybody have a great weekend again Thank you. you