The Ryen Russillo Podcast - Ndamukong Suh on His Dominance at Nebraska, Title Chasing, and the Best QB He Played Against, Plus Life Advice

Episode Date: August 3, 2023

Russillo is joined by Super Bowl champion Ndamukong Suh to discuss what NFL training camp is like for a veteran, his most recent journey to the Super Bowl with the Eagles, his college career at Nebraska, the toughest QBs he has faced, and more (0:29). Then, Ryen answers some listener-submitted Life Advice questions (32:48). Host: Ryen Russillo Guest: Ndamukong Suh Producers: Kyle Crichton and Steve Ceruti The Ringer is committed to responsible gaming, please checkout theringer.com/RG to find out more or listen to the end of the episode for additional details. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

pumped up to talk to you and dominic and sue in 2009 i think his defensive season is one of the best seasons i've ever seen from a college football player and guess what it almost didn't happen he almost went home and left nebraska uh we'll talk about his pro career moving on some of the quarterbacks he's played with and against, and stuff he's doing off the field as well, and life advice. This episode is brought to you by Uber Eats. Winter is here, so be prepared and get almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. What do I mean by almost anything? Well, you can't get a ski slope, but dish soap, definitely doable.

Sunshine, that's no. A bottle of wine, yeah. And a snow day, again, no. But blueberry muffins with the delicious crumb topping? Total yes. Get almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Alcohol and select markets. Product availability

may vary by region. See app for details. I'm excited to talk to Indomitian Sioux, 13 years in the league. We're kind of waiting on where that next season will be. And I know he's going to be asked about it a million times, five-time All-Pro. I actually first met you, I don't know that you would remember, but Van Pelt and I were doing the radio show down in Miami in 2010 for the Super Bowl when you were waiting to be drafted. And there was all sorts of rain,

so you had to come indoors and hang out with us, and you were with your group. And it was just fun, you know, because everybody knew Scott at that time and I just got done watching you have this incredible season of Nebraska. It's just, it's crazy to think, yeah, here we are 13 plus years later, I'm going to be a hall of famer. And, uh, you know, I think a lot of things have changed. Yeah. A lot of things have changed. Big family now. And, uh, yeah, back in 2010, I had been Russ Spielman, my sister. And I think I was, I know I was down there for one of my best friends.

I was actually playing in that Super Bowl. Cody Glenn from, playing for the Indianapolis Colts. So definitely enjoyed my time down there, except for they lost that Super Bowl, unfortunately. Yeah, that's right. It was a good week. It was my first Super Bowl down there, except for they lost that Super Bowl, unfortunately. Yeah, that's right. It was a good week. It was my first Super Bowl down there with the show. So probably a better week for you, though. Coming up on this year, because I know you've been talking about it nonstop,

anyone that I've known that's played in the league, you're basically in the dream scenario, right? Like, hey, let me know when camp's over and I'll see you guys week one. Is that fair to say that that's the timeline for you? Yeah, there's no doubt. And I was on NFL Network the other day doing some media stuff, which was fun and exciting on NFL Total Access. But long story short, I had made that comment and actually got some phone calls off of that comment and said, hey, we're interested in you. No rush, but we're looking at taking some visits or wanting to take a visit in and whatnot.

So it's super interesting to see that I'm lucky enough to not have to go through camp, but they know my track record of always being ready for week one and beyond. Is camp that bad? Is it like some of my friends will tell me straight up, it's pointless. And I'll be like, look, I get that as the non-player, you don't want to hear my perspective. There has to be some point. You couldn't just have every guy just show up, but yeah, go ahead. For sure.

For sure. No, I think there's value in camp, especially as a young buck, you've got to understand the rules and the regulations and how things kind of come together. But for a guy, my age and the mileage that I've been going through, I'm like, I never come out of games.

Like, even if I'm at camp, I'm in a reserve role where I'm just basically just standing there and sitting and watching most of the time. And unless we're in joint practices, like that's where the last maybe two or three seasons that I was in joint practices with teams, my coach would be like, hey, you're going to have it easy. I'm not worried about you. But when we go to joint practices, I need you to show out and then I'll give you all the rest of the world. So it's like you go out there, you get a quick glance, just like everybody knows. You have that third preseason game. You got to show out for half of the game or a quarter of the game, and then you get the rest of the time off and prepare for the real game. So for me at this stage of my career, it's definitely nice to not have to go to camp, but be able to roll right in. And I've always told people, there's only so many ways you can play three technique. So I know you're not going to tell me, you're not going to tell me, but what

goes into the decision? Like it's clear you're going to play this year. Clearly there'd be a lot of interest, but what are the things that you're weighing? What are the things that you're talking to yourself, talking to close people about, okay, this is what I think I'll do week one. That first conversation comes with the wife, truly, truthfully, just understanding where she feels. And it always gets spun back to me as like, it's your hundred percent,% your decision i'm happy with whatever you do uh so once we go through that conversation the next conversation is typically with my uh performance director uh my guy keith super close i've been together now 13 years uh 13 off seasons and i mean he's he's family so talk about everything under the sun. And really that conversation comes down to like one physically,

how do you feel? And we're prepared for everything. You can create a plan for any scenario, whether it's mid season, week one or going into camp. We have programs and have gone through all of it. So it's, we're prepared to do that. And so I rely heavily on him from that aspect. I'm ready at all times and just make sure I'm in tip-top shape.

And honestly, I feel a ton better. When I went into that season last year, halfway through with Philly, I'm looking at everybody running around. I'm like a spring chicken out there in practice having fun. So I think I enjoyed it. It was tough from a transition with my kids just because they were like, so used to seeing dad 24, 7, 365 at home, uh, outside of me going to the gym and working on the mornings, which they're used to. Um, but yeah, it's tough for them from that standpoint. So that, that's where I have

reservations around my kids. There is a cool factor to it though. And maybe I'm wrong, but I just think of it like, all right, we got him. And he lands, shows up to the facility and you're like, all right, let's see what we can do in the next four months. I don't know if that entails moving the family to an apartment in the home city for wherever you play, you just say hey I'll be back in maybe February if things go right but there's a there's almost this mercenary approach to it that is I don't know from the outside it feels kind of cool like hey Sue's here yeah you said it perfectly it's 100% a mercenary uh mindset think of myself as an elite sealAL Team 6 member that swoops in. We got four months to knock this out, go get this ring,

because that's what everybody plays for. You want to be a champion. And I've tasted it once and been there two other times and unfortunately not gotten that ring. So would love to have an opportunity to do that again, especially with my boys, like now that they really like understand what football is. And every time they see something that resembles football on TV,

they're like, dad, dad, dad. Like, yes, but that's not everything that's about. So.

Yeah. You've been on a hot streak though. You're picking the right teams, at least getting to super bowls and then yeah, getting that one in Tampa. So it's safe to say though, that there's, there's a cut list where it's like, you guys, I'm probably not going there. Yeah, there's a cut list, but I mean, it's any given Sunday. And I think that's why even you look at Philly last year and they were set up perfectly from a standpoint of having a hot season,

perfectly from a standpoint of having a hot season uh first hop first hot half of the first season first of the year and then you turn around they lose a couple games they bring in some pieces that have injuries all these different things but then you look to turn around and see the 49ers uh in the same year they look like they were in shambles the entire year and then put it together i think they ended up like 13 and 3 and then of course we had to put them out of their misery and then it's the championship and move on to the Superbowl. When you're playing against a team that doesn't have a quarterback in the NFC championship game, what are you talking about when you go to the sidelines?

So, I mean, I have full respect for, for that offense and everything that they create. That's a nice thing to say. But yes, putting their quarterback out and then seeing their backup quarterback, it's like, how many sacks can we get as a defensive line nonstop? Even before the start of the game, I was like,

we feel that we're in a great position that we can attack this quarterback. And really, I've played against the 49ers, it seems like, majority of my career in a similar type of offense that they have. And when I was in L.A. playing against them twice, I know they want to run the ball first and foremost. And if they can't run the football and get the ball out to their elite players like Christian McCaffrey and Debo, I mean, you put the quarterback, make the game be on the quarterback.

You're going to have fun and be able to get there and create havoc and make big plays, and that's what we did. I didn't know who Jalen Hurts would be. I think going into this year, there were even some question marks. And then to see this switch go off, and I know you haven't been there the whole time with him, but you've been around a while. Was there a moment, was there something that happened with him or maybe even some of you guys on your side of the football

where like, okay, we may have a guy here in Hertz? Yeah, 100%. I would say first and foremost is me coming in as a newcomer halfway through the year, but just seeing him work and work in silence, which I love because I'm the same exact way. I'm a natural introvert. I love going into the office and I love going into the whatever you want to particularly call it in the weight room and just diving into that particular space.

And then you also watch him study and the way he walks around with his book and he interacts with the other teammates. and the way he walks around with his book and he interacts with the other teammates. And then having to get the opportunity to talk to him in a lot of ways, being in that locker room, and not just about football, but also businesses and different endeavors that I knew was coming down the pipeline, which I'm excited he made a good decision, which the rest of the world will find out here soon. the rest of the world will find out here soon. He's very in tuned and he's a tireless worker, which you can, you put that together with his athletic abilities that obviously everybody sees and saw for him to get drafted where he got drafted.

Like he's got the perfect mixture to be an elite quarterback for many, many years. And Billy should be excited. Like he's got the perfect mixture to be an elite quarterback for many, many years. And Billy should be excited. I know this is a pretty like straightforward question. So it's not like all that. Oh, my gosh, this is such an amazing question. But I do like talking to guys like you that are so accomplished. You come in top pick.

Is there anything about the game that surprised you? Was there anything about your career where, and I know a default for a lot of guys is like, oh, you learned it's a business. And I'm always kind of like, no shit. Like you already knew that going into it. But was there, was there any moment of like how your career went that was surprising to you now as we head towards the end? I think the biggest thing that I would say that was surprising to me was the turnover, even at the elite level of guys. And from the standpoint of saying, like, just because you have a name and you can play at a high level doesn't mean that you're going to

always be afforded a job. And I think it's about those relationships and being able to understand really where the league kind of wants to grow as a whole from. I came into the league and there was probably, I'd say 50-50 and 4-3, 3-4 systems. And you look at now, there's way more of that hybrid 3-4 system. And then you go to third down to to where that particular piece is more a four-man rushing so looking at it from that perspective of uh of yes it's a business but there's these different relationships of seeing how people grow and there's like you look chris kasurik at the 49ers there's a certain brand of ball that they love to run and play. Look at, I'm drawing a blank, Jim Schwartz.

He's now with the D.C. for the Cleveland Browns. Like, there's a brand of football, and that grows with guys. And you see all these different trees. Sean McVay, they come from the Washington Commander's Tree and how that kind of comes together with their brand of football. And so if you don't fit into those different pieces and can't find ways to be elite in either system, which I pride myself on, I can play in a 3-4 system and I can play a 4-3 system. You throw me anywhere, I'm going to be able to produce.

Not every single athlete has that ability to be successful in that particular space. And so that's something that was eye-opening to me to where it's, you look at the NBA, it's a little bit of the reverse. They build the system around their particular players. Football, it's built around the coaching and how they look at things. And then they fit in the pieces from there and go find the guys that they want. And really, hey, he fits my system perfectly. I'm going to go poach him from over here.

That was a great answer. That was really good. I learned something on that. I go back to that 2009 season you had in Nebraska. I think it's one of the single most dominant seasons I've ever seen from a college football player. I was in awe watching. I just started working on game day for the radio side of it at ESPN. And we'd have all the monitors up and I'd be like, make sure we get one on Sue,

just because I couldn't stop watching you destroy every plan after the snap. And I have to add, at some point it must have been easy for you. Did college football feel almost too easy for you in that final season? First and foremost, thank you. But I wouldn't say it was easy just because there was a lot of hard work. And I'll give a huge amount of credit to Bo Pelini, his brother, Carl Pelini. Because Bo was the one one when he came to Nebraska that coaching change was like like you're 10 times better than uh I can't remember the tackle that he had at LSU that had just got drafted his first round before uh yeah Glenn

Dorsey and it's like you're 10 times better than him more athletic and I can I just need you to commit to the like the way I want to do things and how I want to run a defense. And I was like, I don't know. I'm going to probably go back home to Oregon State and be comfortable at home. And something told me, after talking to my parents, it's like, no, let's not do that.

Let me just stick this out. And there's a reason why I chose Nebraska. And so I decided to stay. And then through that offseason and then going into the 08 season, I had torn my ACL in winter conditioning. And so I could practice spring ball. I didn't do camp, didn't do anything, which I owe Mark Meyer a ton of credit,

who was an athletic trainer there at the time. It's like he came from the league. He was with the Raiders, with Callahan and all that. So he's like, I'm going to make sure you're fit and ready to go when it's time for week one. But you just have to trust me on this particular piece. And so I said, cool, I'm good from an athletic perspective and getting healthy. But how am I going to really get immersed into this new system? And I can't even practice.

Well, Carl pulled me to the side, who was our DC at the time and our D-line coach. And I would just sit in his office and just learn every single position outside of my own position, how everything fit together. And so once I did that, that opened my eyes up to where I could find ways to cheat and feed in the system. And Carl was like, I will never be mad at you if you cheat, but if you don't make the play, I'm going to dog-cuss you out.

And I was like, perfect. So I took that time that whole offseason being out, physically couldn't do anything, learned the game mentally from a whole different perspective, and that's where it became easy because I can anticipate things and I can digest offenses and understand where my help was on the back end

from safety or linebacker positions, especially in the run game, but let alone in the pass game. And I just find ways to cheat. And Coach Carl was like, you're out of your gap, but I can't say anything to you because you made the play. So you were going to leave. Yeah, I almost did. I was on the verge.

I was homesick, super close to my older sister, super close to my parents. And they would come, but it was during that 08 turmoil where the world was upside down. My dad had his own business, so he was struggling. My mom was a teacher, which decent salary and everything from that standpoint, my mom, my sister had just moved home from school, tough finding a job, obviously in that timeframe, her just leaving.

Uh, and she had two degrees from Mississippi state, so she should easily find a job, but it was just that time of the year, just like the pandemic for lack of better words. And so I was like, man, I just got to find a way to get it to the NFL. And so my whole goal was to take that one season and then to have the best year and then be off into the NFL. Because I had some early gradings that said, hey, even though you're coming off injury, you could be a late first round or early second round. And I was like, I looked at all the other D tackles. I was like, I can beat those guys out.

And the top guy was B.J. Raji, who ended up going to the other D tackles. I was like, I can beat those guys out. And the top guy was BJ Raji going, who ended up going to, um, the green Bay Packers. And I was like, I'm more talented than him. I compare it. And I had just had Adam character at my side.

It was a first round pick who just went to the St. Louis Rams. So it was like, I can do this. I just got to put my mind to it and get rid of this injuries, uh, this injury saves and whatnot. So that's kind of where I was at.

I know some of the backstory about your sister who's an athlete. And, you know, it's easy to forget going back and looking at your recruiting history. Like you were a four-star. You were on the radar, but it wasn't, you know, the guy that left Nebraska was a different guy that entered Nebraska. What's your favorite recruiting story from that time, whether landing there or someplace you thought you were going to go or didn't go? My favorite recruiting story, I'd probably say I have two.

One, the late John Blake, who was the head coach for Oklahoma, and then he was a D-line coach with Callahan at Nebraska with me. He always came in and was like, man, you you're my freak you're my number one guy you got to come to Nebraska and he would literally come to every single basketball game football game throughout my entire senior year and just building a relationship with my family he was super close with my my coaches he's like an uncle to me, Uncle Joe. And then so I had a great time just getting to know him and through that recruiting process. And funny enough, my sister was actually at – he was at Mississippi State, and my sister's boyfriend at the time was playing football for him

at Mississippi State before he left and went to Nebraska. And she was like, you have to check out my little brother. So he knew about me like three or four years before he left and went to Nebraska. And she was like, you have to check on my little brother. So he knew about me like three or four years before he actually started recruiting me because my sister had said something to him. And I'd go down there in the summer and spend like two or three weeks with her. So it was just a full,

it was like, it shows you how small the world is from that standpoint. And then I'd probably say the second story would be, I went to university of Miami. I had the time of my life. Like I was in coconut Grove, eating steaks, having so much fun, went out to the nightclubs, all these different things. And after I woke up that next Sunday morning to fly home, I was like, I am not going to

school here. I will have way too much fun. This is not the place for me. This is a boring follow-up, but I guess I just already had him up. How late were you playing soccer in high school? I stopped playing in eighth grade. And so that was kind of like the turning tables for me because I'd never played football. So I played football for the first time in eighth grade because I got in a little trouble being too physical, getting a bunch of red cards, playing soccer in club soccer. So I was like, you know what, I'm kind of I'm done with soccer. Hurt my dad's heart because my dad played professionally overseas and he wanted me to go to boarding school and go be a professional potentially messy that would be his dream of of me as from an athletic

perspective so I played uh Pop Warner eighth grade I was wanting to go and play in high school but my mom said absolutely not like school first so I bit the bullet couldn't play my freshman year she let me play basketball her rule was if you get a three pointer a three-pointer better with your grades then you can play any sport so that was my test first semester so I could go play basketball during the winter so I did that so came back my sophomore year and she let me play football and just really fell in love with it from that standpoint and i had a good experience in eighth grade because we we ended up winning state uh in pop warner and it was like i got praise for just

bullying kids the the red card is probably not shocking uh for for the audience here a little bit i've watched a bunch of your interviews, and I can see you both get annoyed when you're asked about some of the stuff in your early part of your career, while the host is also sort of afraid to ask about it. Yeah. I can already see the look on your face. Like, oh, cool, you're going to bring up personal fouls.

I want to ask it this way. What's the most pissed off another player has been after something? Pissed off towards me? Yeah. Yeah. Usually they've started it and I've just finished it. So they had it coming for them. All right. Quick answer on that one. The other thing I liked about your story is I know you're doing a ton of stuff off the field. And when we met you years ago, this is something you even brought up. Um, and I, I don't know if with lumber prices, if you're worried about the general contractor vision, but I know you're getting involved in some of the real estate stuff with the foundation. So I find it really interesting because I think from a very early age, this is something you've been talking about. Like every one of your interviews always kind of has this layer of you thinking about the bigger picture, which I think is rare when you're

still playing. Yeah, for sure. So I've always known sports I've loved, but it's going to come to an end at some point in time. And I've been super, super fortunate and blessed to be able to get 13 years out of the league, potentially 14 or 15, and just see where things land. But I've always had this passion to, even before I even knew that I could go play professional football, was to go back and build an organization with my dad. That's obviously changed. I actually purchased his mechanical company,

and it sits under an umbrella that I have. And so instead of me joining forces with him, I just acquired his company and we just work together now. By the way, is that ever tough? I mean, you're not just going to cut your dad a check, even though it'd be really nice, but is it weird to have him sort of report to you? So we don't really run it from that perspective in reporting to me. It's still a subsidiary of the overall goals of what we're trying to create and whatnot. And so he still manages and operates it, but I just put basically JetFuel on top of it. So he can run and operate it and and have more jobs just instead of

it being a smaller company from that perspective and so that's how i kind of look at things and that's how i like working with friends and family because i don't i've been fortunate enough to obviously make good money uh through sports and have really smart people around me got great mentors to help me invest where i don't have to work, but I have desire to work to 55, 60. And so that's where I'm focused on real estate and development. And to your point about lumber prices, it is very, very tough right now in this day and age. Your lumber prices have come back down, but general contracting and construction is not cheap in this day and age. And I think one of the biggest things why we're struggling as a, as a country and housing is we just don't have the focus to want to be able to

build it out of very, uh, one, an efficient way. Uh, and in the fast way that we can get it done, there's multiple ways that we can, there's just so much red tape that unfortunately our legislation in different areas put in front of us. But I think there's some exciting things that I'm going to get focused on, which I'm looking forward to working with some previous owners' companies. And you could probably figure that one out pretty easily. But I think affordable housing is a big space for us to get into. I don't think it is easy so i you were

you were vague about the hertz thing i've heard you be vague about some of this can you i assume you don't want to tell me if you're being vague but i can't guess correctly right now so i'm trying to get the audience yeah uh so steven ross and his related group uh and one of the main reasons why i actually went down to play for Miami outside of having an opportunity to help that, uh, group grow, uh,

as a, as an organization for the dolphins, I wanted to learn, uh, from the related team. And I told him, it was like, uh,

as much as I want to stay in Detroit, but they just couldn't match or exceed, uh, from a monetary standpoint and, and helping my family. I told him, I was like, I'll come and sign here. But at the same time, I want to learn from your organization how you got to where you are from a real estate perspective, because that's always been a big passion of mine.

And maybe a lot of people don't know, but people see the related group and all the things that they've done, the big flashy stuff, Hudson Yards in New York and building all those city blocks and that little city inside a city. But they're started off with the backbone of affordable housing and have created tremendous, a lot of success. And there's some fun projects here in Portland. I'm looking forward to hopefully have an opportunity to partner with them more. When you talk to a Steven Ross, right? And you say, hey, these are the other things I'm interested in. Like, thanks for making me the highest paid defensive player in NFL history, but I'm serious about this other stuff. Do you think that other person takes you as serious as you want them to take you in that moment? Because I think a lot

of guys talk the talk and then the guys with that kind of money have heard it all before and like, yeah, okay, cool, whatever. What allows you to break through in a way that other people don't? So just like you said, I think the NFL and the shield and your personality can, and your, your bright shining star will get you into the door. But one thing I pride myself on is my follow through. Uh I think he said 100 percent. I'm happy to. You seem excited about it, but it's going to be on you to follow through as an individual. So I was the one who made sure I followed through.

I got myself up to New York and I sat there for a week, two weeks and learn from not only himself, but his CEO, his COO, and understanding everything from top to bottom. I met with a ton of different people within that organization just to learn and see how they build their companies and how they make decisions in those deals. And so people can always afford you things, but it's up to you to walk through those doors and actually embrace it and gain that knowledge. A couple of football things on the way out. Yep.

When you had Stafford early and then Tannehill and Miami and then golf with the Rams, but then you get to Tampa with Brady. And granted, I know it's not your side of the ball. You're not in those meetings, but what's the day-to-day like when you think you have somebody that can kind of put the cape on every Sunday for you? What is it like in the building for all of the teammates

when you feel like you kind of have a superhero at that position? I would say from my viewpoint, it's you guys got guys that really start to believe that they can be successful versus when you have a Tannehill or a James Whiston who haven't really fully developed from their initial start into the NFL. That, all right, it's like they got to start to see a spark here and there and be a little bit more consistent. You already know what's established with this particular player. And now it's all about just putting the pieces together and having that, for lack of better words, that continuity to say, this is how we need to execute.

And can we maintain this and grow at the same time? So when I having the season of going from Seamus Winston to Tom Brady, it was saying, all right, now we have the pieces of the puzzle. How do we put it all together and how do we all function and how does everybody fit into this to be successful? And really, on the defensive side of the ball, we have all those pieces with Jameis and we were dominant. We just were tired because most of the time we had turnovers, we had different things. So we had to deal with different aspects of that, even though Jameis had light year numbers, but the turnover battle, if you can't win that, you're not going to win most games. Okay. Last one. Is Mahomes the toughest quarterback you've faced in your career? Ooh, no. As much as I don't like him, I will give credit to Aaron Rodgers. When he's on point, he is very difficult to stop. I would also say Brady is the same. Playing against him the majority of my career, especially when I was down in Miami, when those guys are on point, they can almost eliminate a defensive front and create seven on seven, which is not fun for us.

And then I've played against Payton a couple times. So I would give him credit from that aspect. And I'm trying to think of one other person that I would say is in that elite status, Phillip Rivers. And it's fun to play against him because he's a great, excuse my language, shit talker.

But he can hurt you. But the one thing with him, he usually gives you an opportunity to get back at him at some point in time throughout the game. He usually has one mistake in there that you can potentially take advantage of. Is the Rodgers thing just the divisional rivalry or is there more to that?

Because that seemed to be pretty succinct. I wouldn't even say it had anything to do with the divisional rivalry, to be honest with you. I think it happens to do with the previous incidents, but more so for me is when we've had conversations on the field and basically trying to squash it. And I give you an olive branch and you're afraid to take it. I mean, there's nothing more to say there. The last word then will be on this.

Alberta Alley, the project, it kind of launches this fall, correct? So anything else? Because I've just always found it really interesting, obviously the building part of it too with you, knowing you had this plan. You had this plan that was kind of parallel to the main plan and you're pulling it off. So any more information you can share with us on that for the listeners? Yeah. Alberta Alley here back in Portland, Oregon. It's been a passion project of mine. And it stems from wanting to one, go away and then come back and bring fun, exciting concepts and different ideas back to Portland and the neighborhood that I grew up in. So I grew up five blocks away from Alberta Alley at my dad's house all through high school. And

that was a street when I was growing up, you would never walk down in the middle of the night, but now I want people to be able to come and all night there, enjoy yourself. And obviously it's a great eatery. And I think there's going to be an amazing staple for that city or for that part of town in Alberta, the Alberta Street District. Well, the Alberta Street District. Well, congrats on that. And we all look forward to week one, wherever it is. Awesome.

I look forward to it and appreciate your time. You want details? Fine. I drive a Ferrari 355 Cabriolet. What's up? I have a ridiculous house in the South Fork. I have every toy you could possibly imagine. And best of all, kids, I am

liquid. So, now you know what's possible. Let me tell you what's required. Life advice. Lifeadvicerr at gmail.com. Alright, let's get right into it. Problem with a girlfriend. 5'11 and 3 quarters. Wow, he's really right into it. Problem with a girlfriend. 5'11 and three quarters.

Wow, he's really a stickler. 180, 22, bench 245. Future Harvey Specter. Anybody get that? Harvey what? Specter. Phil Specter is the only Spectre I know. It's the guy from Suits. I haven't seen Suits, so no.

Okay. Maybe we look that up. Hey guys, usually I can handle my own issues, but needed the big guns for this one because I'm not sure what I should think about it. Me and my girlfriend have known each other for seven years. Going back to a youth group, I used to go to an early high school. So they met when they were 15. Tried dating her a couple times. She's not very mature.

Never dated before, so it didn't work out. So we met when they were 15. Tried dating her a couple of times. She's not very mature, never dated before. So it didn't work out. So we met again, visiting hometown. We'll leave that out. Middle of my freshman year, I was in college. She dated for six months before she transferred to a different school where we did long distance to present day.

All right. So let me just get this straight again here. So they met again, visiting their hometown in the middle of his freshman year, dated for six months, and then she transferred to another school. So I don't know if they were in the same school together. It sounds like he came home. They saw each other, whatever. So he goes, basically, we did long distance to now present day doing long distance. She comes from a strict, overly close Catholic family.

At first, we had a hard time with that since she lives with her parents and she moved back to her hometown. But we finally agreed to keep the relationship between us like mature adults. We grew close and got more intimate along the way, but she always had a hard time with the romance-y stuff when we weren't in the same town. Oh, okay. Over the last month, we were going through the longest time from seeing each other and it was bugging me that she was basically just a friend of a long-distance friend. So I brought it up. She flipped out and told me she doesn't like feeling pressure to do things she's not comfortable with and hangs up. I thought like every other tough conversation, we take another breather and then talk about it. But instead,

she went to her dad when upset with me. While I'm watching TV, waiting to talk, she texts me, I'm in trouble. A text, short message thread. What should I do? Am I in the wrong? Should I be worried? All right. Well, let's see what these texts say.

Oh, man. You're living in sin. Well, I mean, this is a... All right, so this is from her. Cut it out. I'm trying my best. I'm seeing you this weekend. Please cut me some slack.

I'm going to bed. I have a big exam. Some support and love coming from my boyfriend would be nice. I'm sorry you're not getting sexy texts or calls 24-7. I know exactly how this went. It's not your fault, dude. Well, there needs to be something said at some point, but let's just get through all this. I have things going on, you know.

I've made it clear that I miss you, but I told you there's a line I'm comfortable with downstairs talking. And he says, okay, call me if you need to. Love you. And then still up. Then she says, yes, not going well. Then he goes, are you going to want to call and talk tonight? She says, no, you're in trouble, to the boyfriend. Then he says, what does that mean?

Doesn't hear from her. Okay, I'm going to go to bed. I love you. Hope we can talk tomorrow. She says, meaning everyone's ticked at what you made me do and have been asking for. So then he says, is there anything you want me to do? I'm confused what's going on. I just got off the game and got ready for bed. Then he asks her again. And then she says, I had some long conversations, thoughts about it. I don't feel comfortable.

Dude, can we even read this one i think so i mean why not i mean nothing nobody's business is out there except for this person with a conservative family i don't know yeah but i just for the audience as you're listening to this like it goes without saying that there's certain things that you know you shouldn't be if the other person isn't comfortable you should be asking for these things. It sounds like he wants some pics because it's long distance. Right. That's pretty clear. And she's not into that.

So guess what? She's not into it. Don't keep fucking asking. But then she told her dad. Right. But then she told her dad. But she said, sorry, you don't get them all the time. Now, I think it's really important to focus in on the phrasing here because she says all the time, which means he's probably got one that he's been clinging to for three months.

And he was just like, God, I just want to spice it up a little bit. Can I get a different one? That's what I'm thinking. I don't think it's crazy. I don't think he's like trying to get her to do something she's never done before. I think he's just like, you know, I can't I can't look at this wall again. I got to look at a new wall. You know what I mean?

Like, I got to. We're good. We You know what I mean? Like I got to. We're good, Kyle. We understand what you're saying. Okay. No, keep going. Keep going. Yeah. What do you mean?

All right. Everyone agreed with me and was very upset for me. I have a big day today. I need to be focused. We can talk tomorrow, but I'm not sure what else there is to say. Yeah, dude. Like, look, maybe you're totally out of line, right? Maybe you're totally out of line.

If she's telling she's not into doing this stuff, then you kind of have to... Yeah. That's it. There's not really any other part of the conversation. No, no, I'm not talking about breaking up. Like, if you care about the person, if you care about the other person's feelings

and you're asking them to do something they don't feel comfortable with, it's pretty fucking simple math. You just stop asking them because you should care care about the other person's feelings and you're asking them to do something they don't feel comfortable with, it's pretty fucking simple math. You just stop asking them because you should care more about the person than that kind of stuff. The dad part of it isn't great. I don't know how you're going to go back into that

house. Let's just say straight up she was like, you know, my boyfriend. What's wrong, honey? Oh, my boyfriend's just annoyed I'm not sending him more nudes. You're not that's not gonna happen like i'd break up before i'd ever walk out of that fucking house exactly yeah yeah so you have to break up yeah i just want to be sensitive to the idea that there's going to be part of the audience is going to be like he's totally out of line fuck him and all that stuff and there's a very real possibility that is what is happening here but i think to be fair to how we treat all

the stuff there also could be you know like the relationship could still work out she's annoyed with him um but i don't know how you walk it i don't know how you look at that dad again because you guys are so young too. I'm taking no one's side here. Just put that out there real quick. But yeah, maybe you have thicker skin. You could take it and deal with the awkward nature. But the whole family knowing, not even just the dad, like she said, her whole family is mad at you.

Man, I'm like a married 34-year-old dude, and I'm pretty comfortable with my in-laws. I don't know that I would be comfortable having that conversation with my in-laws. I don't know if your marriage would stand up after that. Honestly, I don't know what rational male survives this. I mean, there's obviously the irrational guy that's like, fuck it. I don't care.

Sorry. It was super horny that night, fuck it. I don't care. Sorry. It was super horny that night. My bad. Catholic girls are tough. This is just what happens. If they're for real Catholics or just Catholic in name only. No, he said it's pretty intense.

Look, man. They met it. Catholic is a tough one. It's like the hardest one. It's kind of the hardest one. Except for all those tougher latter-day saints yeah latter-day saints well I mean I'm saying if you're well let's not see what it means let's not try these because I don't know that could be fun seems like a summer thing all right uh but it's not it's not only the fact I think that a she definitely did this before because she said I'm sorry you don't get them all the time Kyle keeps going back to that I I don't think. Right, right. Which is smart.

I don't think this is him, like, you know, shooting something into the atmosphere. Like, this isn't like new, a new place. Like, new now. Yeah, this isn't a new thing, I don't think. I think he's just like, you know, God, this would be great if this was my version of a great weekend of just getting one of these to hold me over for another three months.

Who knows? But the bigger issue is that she would throw him under the bus to her dad this is for others this is just like in in relationship stuff like you should be able to work shit out you know with with each other instead of being like every time you're you're pissed or or whatever you just go say something that's totally going to change the way her family looks at you she didn't give you a choice in that matter that's now like if you choose to, I mean, there's several reasons I would have broken up with her, but I think, I think this one is like,

what else is this going to happen? Like she's going to, you know, perhaps irreversibly change your, you know, the way you're looked at by strangers that are always going to be team her first. And this is just one thing. And this is like a super uncomfortable one. Like what happens when you get into like an argument and say some like mean shit to her you know what is she gonna call and be like and then

he said this because she just wants somebody to be on her side like this is this is a very bad sign for other things if you're like you're you know and you're two years into college right get the fuck out you're you've already you know this is a loss this is a loss dump the stock and and and do something else this is you know this this is webistics at the end here you gotta go so i think i think this is especially with your age you should really just there's a bunch of red flags and you should just get out but if he really loves her though dude you know then she's this dad is going to hate you maybe forever. Right. Just a heads up. And what else? And what else is he going to do this for? Right.

Yeah, it's easy to say like, hey, I don't, you know, screw this girl. Like she told her dad this thing. But like you actually really like her. It's not as easy to just walk away. Clearly, there were some issues with this relationship. And you might get dumped, by the way. Which might be the best thing for you. Honestly, maybe that's just the easiest way.

You're the guy that gets dumped. You can move on. Okay. I think we handled that one all right. Because I just know that there's an element of that scenario. No, we covered all the bases. Yeah. Right.

Bummer. You don't think Catholic's a top three difficult Christianity Oh I thought you were talking Just all religions Oh no I just meant for the Christians Oh I thought you meant all religions Are we on the air now or are we not Why wouldn't we be

We're still on? Okay Alright Next email here Here we go. My name. What? Most people don't start this way. All right.

He gives us his name. We don't need it. I'm 5'10", 155, 33 years old, NBA comp, 33-year-old me, Sean Livingston, 23-year-old me, D. Rose. Injuries have taken a toll, but it's all good. I've noticed a pattern here. When people aren't as good as they used to be, they say like Boris Diaw all the time. Sean Livingston's another one too, where it's like, do you know how sick Sean Livingston actually was? By the way, before the injury, he was going to be ridiculous. But Boris Diaw was also incredible when Boris Diaw

was good. And he was one of the most unique basketball players in the league. So just because you don't run baseline to baseline, you throw a couple passes and you're a little out of shape. It doesn't fucking make you Boris Diaw. So stop with the Boris Diaw comps. We've seen too many of them. Boris Diaw

was a special player when he was good. There's a really good chance you don't see the court the way Boris Diaw does. But guys are like, oh, top of the key, a couple entry passes, Boris Dio. Stop fucking comparing yourself to Boris Dio. Yeah, I feel like Kyle Anderson's another one too. Kyle Anderson. Anyone who's not a super great athlete,

you're like, alright, yeah. But do you realize how good Kyle Anderson is? You just kind of do every... Well, look, the point of it all is that all NBA comp comps if we wanted to be super strict about it they'd be dumb because nobody's as good as the nba players whatever um but there are a couple go-tos where it's like oh i set a screen i pass a little bit and then it's like you're you're kyle anderson boris d i was the one that was really starting to bother me

though all right anyway uh he lives in, he gives us every single thing here. What's your social security, bro? Yeah, right. I live in the East. I work for a corporate company. I work in the IT. Now he wants to get vague. Let's say I work in the IT department.

My group consists of associates. One supervisor male. Let's call him Mike. Who knows? Could be the names. One manager female. Let's call her Felicia. And then some directors and executive staff above in our division. With an annual performance reviews coming up, I submit mine by the deadline of July 21st. However, my supervisor

sends an email out a few days later that say they extended the deadline to August 4th. So I asked my review back to add some details and a few things that I thought of after I submitted it. My supervisor's response after sending it back was, I sent it back to you. I erased my comments on your comments so you can change it around. I will make an observation. There were a lot of I in me in your review. A little humility goes a long way. Rough. I think I'd rather have the dad mad at me for nudes. Now, this obviously fired me up because what a weird statement to make about a review that is titled Annual Self-Performance Review. Correct. Where we were supposed to talk about what we've accomplished and where we've gone above and beyond. I consider myself an absolute team player, understanding the needs of business, always volunteering to help out and assist others.

You don't... You may be right, and we'll give you the benefit of the doubt. You don't often say, I help no one. I am all about me all the time. Unless it's an NBA trade demand. How would you guys respond? Also important to note, my supervisor is retiring this year. Late 50s, early

60s. Maybe it is about you, dude. You don't know your supervisor's exact age. Late 50s, early 60s. Maybe it is about you, dude. You don't know your supervisor's exact age? Late 50s, early 60s, just kidding. He's been mailing it in for at least the last five years. He's extremely negative, always absent in the field, brings very little to the table when it comes to assisting growing the group. Another important note, I copy-pasted my review into a Word doc and search highlighted every time I used I, me, and we.

I used I 15 times, me zero times, and we 14 times. Love the pot. Yeah, that's annoying. You know what? And it sounds like this feels a little strict with me, but when he says there's a lot of I and me, and then me comes up on the word doc count zero times, like fuck him, right? He probably read I a couple times early on. That's why in these reviews, you should we them to death a bit in the beginning, because if you have three I sentences starting the first paragraph, then that's the first impression, just like meeting somebody in person, his first impression with you on your review is you said I maybe couple of times at the beginning,

then he decided to stop evaluating altogether. Right. He'd already made up his mind. And if the scattering report is accurate, they're giving us, that's a mail it in move. Right. He said that exact sentence many times. Right.

Right. So I wouldn't go to anybody else. I would, we, that I would, we, him a bit more in the beginning. I mean, you said he's retiring. So what are we really talking about here? I think you're totally justified in being pissed about it. And, you know, it's it's weird that he would already give you that shitty feedback that soon. Now, of course, there's also another version of this where perhaps you're the worst, but, you know, you emailed us, he didn't. So we'll stay with this. I wouldn't get too upset about this. This kind of thing is unavoidable in the corporate world. It's going to happen to you again, likely multiple times. There's going to be somebody that is over you that there's just this disconnect and you cannot fathom how they became the way they became.

And we don't need their origin stories and all that stuff. This is unavoidable, especially when it's the person who already has one foot out the door. I'm surprised he put that much effort in it. I mean, he may not like you. But as you mentioned, if he's out of the picture soon and you're happy with where you're at,

this might be a funny story at happy hour a few years from now. And then there's going to be two other guys that say he did the exact same thing to me. That's what I don't understand though is if this guy is so lazy and doesn't give a shit, why would he care about giving you feedback

early on this thing? Just give it back to you, mail it in. I don't know. He's going out of his way to be a dick, which the only time people do that is if maybe he's just a huge asshole or he just doesn't like it. It just doesn't add up. He's creating more work for himself by giving you that first initial

feedback. What does he care? Just delete all his stuff and send it back to you or say no if he doesn't really want to do anything. I'm kind of confused by that. I don't know. He could be an old guy who's just like these fucking kids. These fucking kids in my day. He's just giving you a parting shot, I guess. I don i mean i think i don't give i personally don't give a

fuck and this is a little weird because uh the guy who looks at my personal reviews is actually also in this recording but my shit is all about i like that's what my that's what my shit is it's me what's the point that's what i'm i'm eyeing the fuck out of that thing um i'm dotting my eyes i i'm like my my it's all it's all this is what i did this is how fast i could do it this is how much i've been doing this is how i feel like i've grown it's what am i supposed to do and most of the people that are that are doing the week they're full of shit anyway like if i had to do performance reviews would i say we had a great interview with tracy mcgrady we did this amazing open on running backs where we all felt good about the fucking work like that'd be stupid you know and so rudy would think it was stupid for me doing it that way what i would say is we have done these things together and these are the things i feel really good about

so much of this stuff is so fucking pointless and you know even though i don't feel like like i knew very early on I didn't want the corporate thing, even though I certainly was a part of it. Being at ESPN for 15 years, it was very, very corporate. There was a lot of that stuff where it was like, we're just on air, but it can be the same type of job. This stuff is unavoidable. And I think the best advice is to not even get that upset about it because it doesn't sound like there's anything. Like if this guy were going to be your direct reporter, only five years older, and you hated him and you love the place, you love where you live, everybody was happy, but you were just concerned. You were latching yourself to somebody for 10 years.

I would look at it differently, but you're not. And that kind of feedback, he's probably used that feedback so many different times. He read the John Maxwell thing during a layover, didn't finish the book, saw one thing, was like, oh, I'm going to start using that. Because a lot of the corporate types too that have nothing else to offer, because clearly there are plenty of people that have a lot to offer. The ones that have nothing to offer are just finding a way to fucking survive. And they want to look good in that meeting, in that setting. They want to seem like they have a purpose. And that's probably what he did to you. Like, I am leaving. I don't do much here. Let me just fucking tell this young kid, you probably did something that he didn't like at some point

for him to be this negative, where he thinks like he's still aware I'm here. I'm going to do something to him to make sure that he's still aware. And there are so many times I can go back over my career at all the different places where there was these things that were said to me where I go, that fucking thing had nothing to do with who I was, what I was or wasn't doing at that time. That was only about the other person across the desk feeling like they were relevant or trying to make it seem like they were relevant. And all it was was a massive waste of time. Correct. And all it was was a massive waste of time. Correct.

Well, it kind of makes me think of the I, me, we thing. It's like when after in a post-game interview, say some quarterback throws 500 yards and five touchdowns and the sideline reporter after the game is like, hey, how'd you get it done? You were incredible today. And they're like, well, the weapons and the final score is like 45-44. The defense didn't do anything. It's like, well, you know, the weapons and the final score is like 45, 44. The defense didn't do anything as well.

You know, defense got us to stop. And the quarterback completely doesn't take any of like the actual like, you know, hey, I'm fucking awesome. And I did this. And without me, like we wouldn't have won the game. And sometimes I get annoyed about that because I'm like, hey, man, like you, you're Patrick Mahomes, you're Joe Burrow, like you're the fucking dude. I know why you have to have a little bit humility. But if you're literally writing about yourself in like a private setting to your boss, you

should be talking about yourself. You should be saying, I'm fucking awesome. I'm the man. Here's what I brought to the table. So this guy, not only is he just obviously mailing in, he's just a shitty boy. He doesn't understand how the process even works. So that pisses me off. The more I think about this, the more I doubt it. Well, manager Cerruti getting heated. Yeah. Well, Kyle, if you were to put in the thing like, hey, we did all this, we did that. I'm like, no, Kyle, you did this stuff. Take credit for it. You worked.

That's the point. Trying to figure out how much stuff people bring to the table and what they do. Brag about it. So I don't know. I kind of hate it. Right, because when their manager's talking weaknesses, they're not like, we all kind of have to make sure we come in on time. Yeah, you have to figure this out. They're like, you better show the fuck up at nine o'clock.

Like it's not, we got to do better or we don't get our pizza party. It's your, you do it or you're not getting it. You know, you're not getting that 10% raise. Yeah. Take email.

Yeah. I remember somebody telling me like, oh, well on Mike and Mike, we did this. I'm like, you know who did that? Mike and Mike.

Correct. Yeah. Correct. All right. And good luck to the corporate people out there. Yeah. Godspeed. Thanks to Kyle.

Thanks to Steve. Ryan Russo, the podcast. We're in response. so you We'll be right back. Iowa, Michigan, New Jersey, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Illinois, Tennessee, and Virginia. Call 1-800-NEXT-STEP or text NEXTSTEP to 53342 in Arizona. 1-800-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org. 4-slash-chat in Connecticut. 1-800-9-WITH-IT in Indiana. 1-800-522-4700.

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