The Ryen Russillo Podcast - Scott Van Pelt! | The Ryen Russillo Podcast

Episode Date: October 4, 2019

Russillo is joined by ESPN's Scott Van Pelt to discuss time travel, LSU vs. Ohio State, CFB playoff outliers, annoying conversations, best summer housemates, and more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

this is awesome that this worked out a ringer rusillo podcast with svp really famous dude from espn we're able to book him we know his people his booking agents i got a booking agent i have not hired a booking agent yet i'm not a comedian but i did always love that line in swingers because um michael who who just you know load the whole deal um he's like well i have a booking agent i have a booking agent that was like something that a girl was supposed to fall for and I recently was dumped by a pretty big time producer. And, um, I realized I didn't use those six months. I didn't in those six months use that line enough that I was like, well, I've, I've partnered up with this, this pretty famous producer, but,

um, I'm no longer partnered with him, which is amazing. Cause it didn't feel like much of a partnership the entire time we were together. Anyway, what lines have you used out there? We'll get to all of those van pelt. We'll get to all of those, Van Pelt. We'll get to all of them. All right. But yeah, let me just do this read and then we're off and running. Produced in one of the world's

longest running distilleries, Belvedere vodka is the world's finest all-natural vodka, part of a 600-year Polish vodka-making tradition. Belvedere is made with 100% Polska rye, pure water, and no additives. Hey, boys, if you're out and you want to look like a grown-up,

get yourself a rye and soda. It's just Belvedere and soda water. Pretty simple. Add a lemon in there because that's what the Europeans do. Remember to always drink responsibly. You were a big Belvedere and Sprite guy way back in the day. I like that with a lime. I like that with a lime

because it sort of takes the edge off the vodka just enough but you still know you're having an adult drink. And then it's a good way if you just keep the lime in the drink,

it's a good way to keep track because if there's too many limes, you're like, all right, I've probably had enough. Wait a minute, so your snake cup thing was actually,

you were the OG of keeping the lime and just dumping the lime in there so that if you were past five or six limes, you felt like, all right, maybe time to mix in a water? Yeah, I mean, if you could see enough fruit in there, it starts looking like sangria. You know it isn't sangria, you know? You know that you've reached a decent, probably a decent buzz has arrived or is right around the corner, and it's just time to mellow out a little bit. Did people mistake you for a really tall busboy or something? I find it hard to believe you, at a certain level, would be the guy with all of his fruit swag from three hours just ruminating. Yeah, no, no.

I don't want new limes. I want to let i want to let they get those old limes just they're still soaking in the juice you know they're still what they're still they're still lime in there we're good i'm fine we talk about why they call um is it brits limeys did you know that yeah you know why they call them that right you're the history you're the history buff i defer to you on all matters of historical reference, be they slurs or battle of mathematics. Yeah, right. Yeah.

So it was a derogatory word for the British sailors because they used to constantly have limes to battle scurvy. Yeah, the scurvy business. How about that? How about like in your daily you know you get older you know i'll take a pill for things i'll take a fish oil it's good for your heart or whatever but like i'm not actively attacking scurvy in my life i don't have nothing i have to concern myself with yeah those guys had it really bad, man. I mean, that kind of stuff on boats, like that was not.

Yeah. What happens when you get it? Is it itchy or does stuff fall off? What happens with scurvy? What are the effects? I honestly don't know. Yeah, a lot of guys don't get it. No one's out two to four weeks with scurvy anymore in the NFL.

It's deficiency of vitamin C, hence the limes, characterized by swollen, bleeding gums in the opening of previously healed wounds, which particularly affected poorly nourished... Yeah, so it was big for undernourished sailors until the end of the 18th

century. So, yeah, I don't hear about it a ton. I don't even know when the last case. Should I Google that? This is a great segment. Google that now. Last case of scurvy? Google 1800 ailments and follow up with gout. Although people have had dudes that had gout. No, I had a couple of buddies that had gout. They kind of fall in the same category all the time. Root for the Giants, could lose a few pounds. Love Jack and Cokes.

So you want to avoid gout, maybe pick a different lane. Yeah, root for the Tampa Bay Bucs. Maybe a spritzer. And get a Peloton. It's saying, you know, a guy just wants a Peloton. It's saying, you know, a guy just wants a simple answer. The most recent documented outbreak of scurvy was in Afghanistan 2002.

Honestly, if I had a bet on where the most recent bout of scurvy was going to happen, I don't think Afghanistan, I'd get there quicker than you would think. I don't know if this is, I don't want to have this podcast sound anti, or you be associated with an anti-Afghanistan podcast.

So maybe we should just move on. Yeah, we'll go. We're good at that. Just hit the button on the radio, like the old days, and we'll go to a new topic. Okay, so new topic, because I have something, I don't want to get too far in with it, because I got really upset about something this morning, which is completely irrelevant in my life. And I'll probably,

it's cool. Cause I'll notice if I get upset about something and then it's like three minutes later, I don't care anymore. I'm like, that's amazing. Look at this. That's just growth.

It's growth. Yeah, it is. It is growth. It is growth. I don't know. Maybe it's not, I'm not sure,

but, um, Closterman and Simmons were talking and it was really brilliant stuff about, is Instagram the real and the real is the fake? And I'm like, oh my gosh, this is incredible. So I wanted to try to sound really smart. And you almost touched on it with the sailor drama that we had back in the 1800s or 1700s, 18th century. People still screw that up um if you could time travel to any period it could be recent it could be last week if you wanted it to be

or any any time what would you go with and why see i'm not literally as i'm speaking as as you were asking that question, I was sipping. I was sipping a small Diet Coke. And so for me, going back to some period in time, you know, like the Renaissance or something, where there were no, Diet Coke didn't exist. And there weren't like really, really plush pillow top beds. And I had to refer to people as m'lady and stuff like that, I wouldn't play well in any of that because I'm not interested in the formality of it.

I like to sleep comfortably, and I have a crippling addiction to Diet Coke. So anywhere in the past that doesn't include that, while maybe the cerebral answer is something along those lines, like, oh, man, imagine if you had been is something along those lines, like, oh man, to imagine to have been with Michelangelo. Like, no man, none of that for me. I'm not, I'm just not that noble or interesting. So I'm afraid that my answer would be like, tell me the day that, that when Apple stock was two bucks and I'll, but even then, like, I'd still have to wait too long to recoup, you know, all of the, all the financial gains. And that's a shallow answer too.

You know, I'm like, I'm not going to be on that evolved Simmons-Klosterman plane. I'm just thinking like, cause my immediate thought, the minute you asked me that, my first thought is what can I do that I can get richest, the easiest. Is that a terrible answer or an honest answer? No. because i think about that all the time like sometimes i go like if you could just if you could do this thing like imagine and sometimes it's me trying to think about like a tv show right and i'll go what if you had this concept where you got like one chance everyone in their lives could go you know what i actually do want to hit the reset button but that's it like you got to go back and you can pick whatever time and if so if i said okay

i want to start right over again in college. And then it's like, well, why would I want to do that? Like everything sort of worked out. So I want to go through all that hassle and struggle and thinking I'm a loser again. Like I don't want to do that. So is that the right pick? Because what if doing all those things that prevented some of the heartache also prevented where you currently land right now? Right?

It was that movie. Who is it? Ghost Town? some of the heartache also prevented where you currently land right now. Right? Like, cause what, what was that? It was a movie. Who was it? It was like, it was, say again.

That was it. That was it. It was a, the guy's dad was a fireman and he had died and he was able to kind of go back and he was, no, it was like frequency. It was called frequency, I think. And it was, it and he was, no, it was like frequency. It was called frequency,

I think. And it was, it was actually kind of, it was, there was some cool, cool elements to it, but he was able to go back and undo the past, but by in,

in undoing the past, which prevented his dad from dying and to get his mom died, it was really messed up. So going back to, yeah, and going back to college, you'd also have to like write papers and stuff.

And there was no internet then, you know how much harder it was to write papers when you couldn't just sort of steal them off the internet. Um, yeah, but I think the other part of that too, was that because there was no internet, I was not a college cheater. I just didn't, I don't know why it, you know, and I'm not asking for, you know, a fucking t-shirt because I didn't cheat. I didn't, I don't know why it, you know, and I'm not asking for, you know, a fucking t-shirt because I didn't cheat in college. I didn't either. I'm just, but I'm just, I'm saying it's the ability to write papers now and the ability

to source information you could use in your own original papers is just a far easier process. People don't know about microfiche. No, but I think what happened was, is that it was also easier to cheat in a way because there was this one class this is going to sound crazy but like there was this one class it was basically called sex education but it was at uvm and so of course it had like a little dude were you teaching it were you the teacher dude i was the teacher's assistant ta dude special program craftspary vermont no big deal 96 um that's true story though because guys were like you have a what and then we're like yeah we have this like massive auditorium style it had to

be a couple hundred kids that were in the class and you know it was just sort of advanced sex ed but everybody took it and then you had to have a discussion group about your like beliefs and all this stuff it actually got me kind of on the right track about certain things that we argue about in society today so actually i think that part of the class is really cool but then dudes would be like dude it's a three credit a if you become a ta for this whole thing and then you have a discussion with younger people at your house and i mean it was it was really kind of weird because i'd be like hey guys can i have the living room the sex group is coming over and we're going to discuss things and projects. And then like my roommates would

come down to see if there were any girls in the group. And, um, they probably don't do that anymore. It's my guess. Let's hope we've all evolved. We've all evolved, but is there, is there an answer for you? Cause now I'm honestly interested and I feel, I, I mean, I'm just being completely honest. I mean, I should, I should just make up something other than when Amazon stock costs four bucks and, or Apple, and think I would just figure out a way to cobble enough to get enough shares where now sitting here today, I'd be sitting on billions, but I'm, I'm, that feels like what I would want to try to do. Is there some place you'd want to go? No, because I still think there needs to be an exploration of what you said here, because I've thought about it that way too, where it's like, oh, okay, well, I'll just make sure

that like, what was I going to do then? Was it going to be better at talking to girls just because in my brain I'm 44, but I'm still like a skinny 18 year old. Like that would suck. I'd look at my body and be like, all right, time to get to work. And then you're right. Like if you had to start over and you were successful or somebody as successful as you, like, what were you going to do? Tell your buddies and be like be like hey bro you need to kind of tighten it up a little bit you're like no big deal i'm going to be hosting the biggest show at espn in like 10 years just back off and so would you become arrogant about it the stock thing i've thought about and then it's like maybe you would just say screw it i'll become a hedge fund guy and i'm

gonna have the greatest calls ever until whenever you went back in time then all of of a sudden be like, so-and-so's lost his touch. It was like, yeah, because he's not time traveling anymore. And it's probably a better movie than it is a TV show, because I wouldn't even know how to possibly write the ending of this. Like season five is what? Like, I don't know. Another guy does it. But morning edition was that right? The guy got the newspaper the night before.

Right. He knew. He knew. Listen to you. He knew tomorrow. He knew. knew monday's headlines today but that as we know that that concept has been co-opted so i don't know maybe that's what we couldn't do so many people have done monday's headlines today that i'm i'm afraid now that maybe i stole it from somebody you know maybe they maybe we maybe the time travel maybe that was our your time travel

was actually just coming from 2019 you ripped off from one of the 25 other people that have done it since you and i brilliantly unleashed it on the world i don't know that one has been that one has been recycled um quite a bit that is the handy quite a bit of quite a bit it's like people that come on and sing songs and like yeah five, five judges, sort of along that. It's in that genre, that flavor. I don't even like, like after a couple years, we were done. We were done with it, you know? Oh, yeah.

But the beauty of you is that in the commercial break before the segment, you could still whip together three on a card. They were always, the hit rate wasn't maybe 100, but it was really high. Always funny. No, it evolved though too. And then once Cannell started doing it, it just became like a wordplay thing. And then it just was, it was something else.

And then of course it annoyed me for like two months. And then I realized, you know what, I'm just going to go with this and just unbutton the shirt and let it happen. And I started to appreciate it a bit more.

Sure. All right. There was one other thing on the time travel and then we'll move on to college football. going to go with this and just unbutton his shirt and let it happen. I started to appreciate it a little bit more. There was one other thing on the time trial and then we'll move on to college football. When you said Michelangelo, I was impressed with the pronunciation. Kudos to you. I think I got the wrong Michelangelo book. I had some art history classes. Right after the film study, I did a little art. Michelangelo book. I had some art history classes. You know, no big deal. Right after the film study, I did a little art.

A little, you know, Renaissance art. Are you an art minor? I forget. No? No, I just have a... I have an appreciation for it. Actually, my mom did some stuff. She was a big Michelangelo guy.

Oh, no kidding. Okay, so, all right. You bring him up and you said something like it'd be amazing to go back. I don't know that you could just walk around

and be like, is Mike around? You know, like, say you got out of your time-traveling pod. You know, I mean, granted, he was kind of all over the place and poor,

so maybe he was more, you know, accessible than some of these other great people, but, like, there's a really good chance most places you land, if you couldn't find

the right shirt pretty quickly, you were going to get stoned to death. Right, that's what I'm, like, what am I, am I just popping around there's a really good chance most places you land, if you couldn't find the right shirt pretty quickly, you were going to get stoned to death. Right. That's what I'm like. What am I just popping around in some, in like,

you know, some under armor gear and, and, and some, uh, I don't know, some roan track pants. Like I was like, I'm looking like,

who's this? What is this person? Yeah. They'd be so afraid of you. So maybe if you just did, okay, let's, let's stop being so realistic

about the whole thing um i think and we had everything we had the proper shirting we had the proper shirting to blend in and try to try to infiltrate the crew of whom ever yeah how do you think of this like when does it happen honestly too often. It just doesn't ever really go off. Because I was thinking about this as some sort of concept, but it just doesn't... I don't know.

I don't know how to execute the ending, which is basically every TV show idea that everybody comes up with. And people are like, oh, I have an idea for you. And you're like, all right, cool. What is it? And then you just go,

that's cool. That's cool, one show. But then, how's it end and then um that's what happens you know lost i don't know how the hell you would have pitched that and be like hey at the end it's going to be this it's like or did you not know what the end was going to be and it was just really cool for a while and then it's like how are we going to end this show like i don't know let's just add another maybe that's what maybe that's why breaking bad worked as well as it did because they gilligan started with an an end and sort of like memento and then worked his way backwards. Isn't that kind of what happened with that?

Yeah, he's like a different level because he's also, everybody likes him so much, which I don't know that you hear that about every showrunner, any pretty experienced guy. But yeah, when I read, remember that book that I got you, that Difficult Men book by Brett Martin, which was really, really inspiring to me about every one of these shows the last 20 years that are special TV shows and how the whole concept came together and everything. Yeah, I think that's right. I mean, you would know because that was kind of your go-to. You like that one in a way that made up for you not liking other shows, but not even engaging.

But I'm not going to get a little wire debate with you again because we've already done it too many times i know i i have to just own that one to my my that i'm odd a lot of ways a lot of ways i'm odd that's one of them oh yeah i meant to ask has it been exhausting being a sturgill simpson fan for like 10 days no see i liked sorry i have some sort of respiratory ailment no i i don't pretend to i when he went on the grammys and sang um um what's the name of that song you can let go of the pain if you choose to um can't even think of the title is that the dead don't die one i don't it's it's the one that it's the one that's got the really, it's got a very cool cover.

It's like the artwork is very dreamy. He won a Grammy for it, and he had the Memphis Horn section or whatever with him. And I'm like, this guy's really good. And I downloaded like three of the songs, and I listened to them a lot. And then the new album came out, and I played it. And I'm like, wow, this is really, really just, and there's a whole anime thing. And then I read about that and I find him very interesting. But no, I'm not exhausted because I'm new and I really like it.

And I'm trying to tell people that may not know that they should listen, that they should listen. Obviously, that was a little bit of a between two ferns type of question for you. Because you know what the story is? I want to answer it earnestly because I don't want to act like I've got his tour t-shirts because I don't. Yeah, I don't either. Total poser over here as well. You know, I don't celebrate his entire catalog because I don't know the whole thing, but I've been digging back. And I read about, you know, the new release two weeks ago. And I go, you know what?

If Long loves this guy the way like chris that's his dude i don't know if they have have spent time together but he yes summered toured together but that's his dude and i'm like you know if he likes him this much maybe i should give this another another try and i'm like okay all right yeah this guy this guy's kind of another level but what i thought was really fascinating about the release of the sturgill thing this week was that you had so many different let's just say people with varying tastes and interests and maybe are never on the same page on anything all collectively you could see on social media people you'd least expect going holy shit like this this thing's amazing, which is really impressive

because it's almost impossible to do today. Right. To have uniform kind of approval from all precincts, I'm with you on that. Now I want to know what the name of that album was because it was popular as hell and I'm Googling it. Now I'm Googling it. I'm going to say it. I know what it was. It's the one that kind of looks a little bit like an ocean thing

um exactly yeah sailor's guide to earth it almost has a mastodon look to it yeah right which is what it naturally would that's what drew me in initially was man i hope it sounds like that and i'm like whoa it really doesn't. What's the last concert you've ever been to? Michael Bolivar and Kenny G. No, no. I haven't seen any live music. I haven't seen it. I don't, I don't go to live music, which is sad.

Is it 10 years? We've had, we've had, there've been several guests who were actually kind enough. I was going to go see Tenacious D because Jack Black came on and couldn't have been nice. He was like, I said, I'm going to come be a backstage Betty somewhere. And then,

uh, they got close, but then I think I had a show and then Gary Clark Jr. Who I was blown away to find out as a fan of the show. Um, you know, I liked him great guitar player, um, among other things.

Was close enough. But see, that's the problem with living in Hartford, because Gary Clark comes to Boston, he doesn't come to Hartford. So, you know, I need some people to come to Hartford. That's what I'm saying. And then maybe I'll go see a show. No, I just want to do the stat updates with you. So it's definitely been over a decade since you've been to

a live concert. Like a full-on show. I mean, other than like popping into a Super Bowl show where the Roots are playing. And that was actually awesome. And it was the Roots and Nas. But like that doesn't count really because I was just sort of a party when they were. So it easily has been that long. Last movie you went to?

In a theater? Driving, I guess, would technically count here too but i didn't think i needed to ask that's a good point i think by name might have been that finding dory with my daughter and that's that's several several years ago she was very little last or most recent new new television show that you were into? Um, Ooh, that's a good one. Is it breaking bad? I don't might've been like,

there's all this Netflix stuff that everyone's supposed to, you're supposed to watch. I just, kids, I don't, I, yeah, I'm just telling you,

man, like it's, if you're going to get, if I'm going to get some TV time, I'm going to, it's probably going to be a game. And that's, that's who you are at get if i'm gonna get some tv time i'm gonna it's probably gonna be a game and that's that's who you are at your core i would check out i think you'd like mindhunter on netflix though that's the one about that that's the one about serial killers

yeah they do a really good job of that and the time part of it is is huge and i guess that's fincher who's you know his his touch is very unique on stuff. It's a very artsy podcast. People rave about that one. People like that one. You'd like it. I don't doubt I would, especially if you said it. But no one hates a recommendation more than you do.

So we all know that. Isn't that? It's just, it's a commitment. Here's the thing. I'm a binge consumer, and then I have an addicted personality. So if I really like it, like 100 years ago when my buddy Kalf, who is a frequent name drop on your podcast from Chicago, said you should watch The Office, the BBC Office, and I watched all of it in like one weekend and I loved it because there are only two seasons. That's the problem. If I really like it, then I'll become obsessed. And I don't know that I can afford to get obsessed. So I almost preemptively don't do fun stuff. This sounds really, really awful, but I'm just being like, honest, this is real inventory and I appreciate it. You're helping me. Um, that's what happens. I'm like, I'll really like it. Then I want to watch it. Then I probably won't be able to. But if I do, and I devote a lot

of time to it, then I'll be kind of like neglecting my family, and that would suck. I don't want to be a shitty dad just watching TV all day. Hey, go away. I got to watch more Peaky Blinders. You know, I just can't. So I just don't do stuff. It's a vicious cycle. Two things I got out of that.

Sounds like number one dad material, and don't try heroin. Yes, both of those things are true. That was, man, I'm going to really avoid that one. You know, if Mad Men's going to turn you into a drooling slob after two days, I'm going to say,

let's leave the H alone as well. Yeah. Don't give Van Pelt the horse. All right, let's do sports at some point in the first 30 minutes of this. I want you to tee this up

because it's a great question, and I did it with Canel with the top six teams kind of up against each other, and how about this, Canel, because I had three SEC teams against the three non-SEC in the top six. He picked all the SEC teams. I saw that.

I saw that. Clever Russillo right there. Just picked one versus the other. Loved it. Right. And then he didn't even realize. I was like,

oh man, you did it. The Ohio State LSU question is a great one. So it's your question. So I want you to take as long as you need with it because it's really good. All right.

Well, I think, the reason that i was i thought it would be fun to talk about both those teams is that i don't ever feel like they get kind of pitted together like we talk about this group that have kind of differentiated themselves or start to get some answers really in a lot of ways this week right lsu plays for it and you get a little i mean excuse me auburn plays for it you get a little more clarity with that than lsu plays for the next week so you start getting chances to knock each other off. But for right now, it's always like Alabama and Clemson get talked about.

And for whatever reason, I don't feel like Ohio State and LSU are ever sort of put on a side-by-side comparison. And I love it also because of the Burrow thing, because obviously Burrow was at Ohio State before he went to LSU. And I found him interesting. He was a guest on the show, and I read a story about him. Apparently he's been a pretty confident slash cocky kid his whole life. And now he's playing at a level where he absolutely deserves to be as confident as he apparently always was.

as he apparently always was. And I feel like, obviously, to date, LSU's got a better win because they got to go down to Texas and play, and they won that close game. And I don't know what we know definitively about Ohio State because of who they played, but I watch fields on offense, and I can tell he's pretty dynamic. And defensively, let me stop right there and just say, I think the best player on either team is the defensive end for Ohio state.

I think Chase Young is, is an absolute monster. And like, I don't know, is that enough to differentiate because you say, well, the quarterbacks kind of check off. There's a bunch of DBs on both teams. They're going to be eventually playing on Sundays. I'm not going to go unit by unit, but I just like, unit, but if I ask myself who I think would win the game, I think Ohio State might be fractionally better, but I don't know.

I think they're clearly two of the best teams in the country. It's so hard to just say, hey, look, if somebody's listening to this right now going, are you guys nuts? It's Ohio State. Then you're just an Ohio State fan. And if you're saying it's absolutely LSU because they have the better win, yeah, they have the better win than Ohio State has. LSU has arguably what we think right now, and we may look back on this in five weeks and laugh our heads off,

but as of right now, LSU going into Austin and beating Texas. And I don't want to hear about being a one score game because I mean, to me, you watch that game. It's very clear that LSU is a better football team. Fourth quarter go wild.

That brought this up a million times. And it was the last second touchdown with an onside kick. So it's like, OK, you know, sometimes we look at those scores and we look back like, hey, one score game. You go, was that really

what happened, though? Is that really what happened? That's better than I think anybody else. Auburn, Oregon is up there. Right now. Yeah, right now. That's better. It's certainly better than Ohio State,

but it's better than maybe anybody else in the country. So then you feel like, hey, that's something that's real and it's tangible. But this Ohio State defense is on a completely different level as compared to what this was. I had heard some stuff about the Shiano thing. It just wasn't clicking. And it's very clear with a lot of the same guys,

it's a completely different unit and it's not just about the schedule. Well, I mean, listen, that, that, the second half of last year, that defense,

I mean, you know, no one loves Maryland more than I do, but Maryland wasn't going out hanging 50 on people. It's worth 50 on and, and was, and was a completion, a two-point conversion away from beating them

in overtime. I'm going to go ahead and guess Maryland doesn't hang 50 on this Ohio State defense. Guys are allowed to get better, too. You see that there are people that have taken jumps. To me, most notably, the name of it, if you're not a

Saturday football viewer, you will learn on Sundays, is Chase Young. He's just different. And he's a disruptor, and everything is a problem because of him. It's not like he doesn't have dudes also. I just, I think it's, I just, for whatever reason, I just picture those two jerseys sharing the field thinking, man, if we got that in the playoffs, sign me up right now.

Right now, today, on early October, I'd be thrilled to see those teams play. No, it's such a great call, though. I mean, and that's what I love about your Big Ten knowledge is that – I've forgotten about the – No, but it's true. You're sitting there with these Ohio State players. And here I love Chase Ahn and the 18 there at LSU. And I go, why do I love this guy when Chase Young exists?

Like you've seen them both in person and it was a different level with Chase Young. I just sent you a picture of him that somebody DM to me because we started, you know, not that this is breaking news that, oh, hey, we're talking about Chase Young all of a sudden because everybody knew that this kid was was that special was going to be probably a top five pick. But, yeah, post post Shianoiano, this is a different group. How's that picture come through? I just looked at it. Well, that's why Antonio said he doesn't think of him in human terms, and you understand why. He's enormous.

But he's so fluid. Like, you look at him going, is he like a tight end that you could move out to the slot? And that's the way. As big as he is and everything, and he's not too big for his body type of deal, but he's just, he's everything you would want in an edge guy in today's whatever, I mean, Saturday or Sunday, it doesn't really matter. So I just can't really argue against this.

And I feel like this is just a thing that I've done more and more. And it's kind of a way to look back at the arrogance of youth. But when I was younger and did this job, I'm like, well, shut up. Ohio State's way better than them. OSU sucks. And that's just what everybody still does. But as you get older and you're around it, I just opened my mind up to the fact that there's very like rarely or i would say less often do i finish a week going oh yes i know exactly what every you know what every team is now you know it just i expect to be surprised all the time i mean i look at seahawks rams and i go you know i kind of thought maybe the seahawks were falling off a little bit i always have the benefit of the doubt with them um that saints game was a bad look. Going in there

with Bridgewater, losing at home, and it didn't really feel close, even though the score whatever. And then they beat the Rams, and I know the Rams miss a kick, but I leave that Thursday night game looking at Seattle and LA going, you know what? I actually like both teams better now, Friday morning, than I did going into Thursday night.

Yeah, I said it to Damian Woody on SportsCenter. I said, look, let's just start here. Both teams are good, and if Sirlein makes the kick, we do a different segment right now, and we wouldn't do, hey, Russell Wilson is a freaking magician. But both things are still true, even though a kick got missed. So I think that nuance isn't what people in our business do real well, and I do think that, like that watching college football this year,

there haven't been any weeks yet where at the end of it you go, you know, Ohio State might struggle with people. They haven't had that indifferent quarter yet. They've come out, and God bless Nebraska people. I mean, they were ready for a party, and Ohio State just wasn't. So they didn't get to even have fun. And LSU's been the same kind of deal. And what's fun about them, and you and I in our radio days, obviously, we've talked with great fondness for the people down there.

And Baton Rouge is as good a time as it is. Everybody from LSU's always been so kind. And I think, you know, when we've gone, and I don't want to speak for you, but I think that I'm right here, that when we've gone there, we've both kind of done that fun thing in our mind when we think about time travel, and you go, man, how much fun would it have been to have spent about four or five years down here,

you know, just being, spent your college years just doing this every Saturday in the fall, blah, blah, blah. So we've enjoyed it. But what they've never been in any of the times that we went down there is what they now are on offense

like they've never been a video game on offense and their ability to score and Burrow's ability to throw it and the receivers I think which they

they've always had these receivers now they look good they're like early Doucette I mean I remember when they got Doucette and they're like

whoa Doucette and like it was like with all due respect Doucette and they're like, whoa, Doucette, and like, it was like, with all due respect, it didn't even matter because, like, if they don't check it to you, then you're not going to really get this show out.

And now, on top, yes, great receivers, for sure, but the approach that they've now developed and, like, just going with tempo, like, Burrow had, like, five touchdown passes

against Vandy and, like, a a half it seemed like. I mean, that's a spooky gear they've got on offense, which is fun. So, I mean, that's why if they put like – just seeing Burrow and Fields go head-to-head would be fun because I'm just trying to think who can – which defense could slow the other down. And I don't know that it either would really well,

but I mean, eventually somebody would gets a stop, I guess. Yeah, I think it's who's going to make a mistake in the red zone. That's what I think this game is now, when you have these offenses that are this dialed in. And Jarvis and Odell put up really good numbers with Mettenberger that year, but it took us until both those dudes were in the NFL to kind of realize how special they were in college. know and now when you look at lsu's receivers and you're going three and four guys are running around wide open like when the hell did this start and i know stanford what's

the hat i know stanford steve was always big on this like you'd stand on the sideline with him watching a game and i just always knew there was something he'd see that i just wasn't ready to see and you know we watched maybe four possessions of lSU one game, and it was a year they were struggling on offense again. And all the fans are like, how is this possible? How do we have as many NFL players except for Bama and everybody else in every single year? And Steve just looks at me and shakes his head. He's like, two-man routes. He's like, two-man routes. You've got all these athletes, and it's two-man routes on every single play and you know you just become really predictable and he was right and it was you know granted it's Jarvis

and Odell running the routes and maybe you know a tight I'm not saying every single possession was only two guys out on the outside but um it's not like that anymore it's just not and seeing in person against against Texas who I think is a good football team. You're just going, this is weird. And you're right, and Burrow's turning around on the bench, and he's waving goodbye to the Texas fans when they still gave up another touchdown and given up the onside, which would have been a horrible all-time look for Burrow. But he's got some edge to him that they probably needed at that position, because before they had guys with edge, they couldn't back it up. because before they had guys with edge, they couldn't back it up. Yeah, exactly.

I just like his story, and I like anybody that's got enough confidence to say, this isn't my lot in life. My destiny is not to be the second-string quarterback at Ohio State. And you go to a program that's as big a deal as LSU and become their guy for two years. And I don't know. I think those stories I always enjoy. Again, through the first month, we

haven't had a whole lot of opportunity to find out if these guys have anybody in their weight class, even in their league. LSU you know is going to run into Bama. I don't know who Ohio State has, although actually Wisconsin I think is real good. And October 26th, I think, is when that game happens.

So that's a fun one because Wisconsin has a great identity. Steve was up at the Wisconsin game, and he came back, and somebody in our meeting brought up Michigan. And it's like Harbaugh, and he's a Michigan man, and, you know, they got beat, this and that. And Steve just was sort of doing that speed thing where he was smiling and nodding. And someone just said, what? And he just said, I'm just waiting for somebody to talk about the red team.

Maybe the red team's good. And it's like, yeah, maybe they are. They, they don't, they don't try to be anything other than what they are. And given the, the, the variety and the offensive talent that we're talking about with LSU and Ohio State, Wisconsin just lines. They have a hippo package, as they call it. They line up seven hippos and run you over. That works, too.

So, I don't know. It'll be fun as we go through this month, particularly, to get a little bit more clarity of just how many of these teams. Right now, there's six or eight or whatever that you like. These are the group. That's probably not that many. It's probably a couple fewer,

and we find that out starting maybe this Saturday. Now, the Wisconsin call's a good one, so let's just do this quick, because you were leading into the next thing I wanted to do. Outside of the top six, which I mentioned, we haven't had, I think the number was, 1969 was the last time the preseason top six were still the top six not in order um this this far into the season like through september which is you know absolute angst for all the other fan

bases but we do have a weird thing i know look i'm just i guess i'll speak for myself but there's a human nature element of seeing like a six next to a team and just going yeah they must be really good and then seeing um let's say, 20 decks to another team, and you're like, oh, yeah, they're okay, and it's hard. And you're like, no, you've watched both teams play a couple times. Do you really think that there's that much of a gap? And that's always the thing you kind of fight with. But outside of the six, how many teams down could we go

where you wouldn't be like, no, I don't want to? If Auburn won the national championship at the end of this whole thing, would that be a surprise to you? How many teams down can we go? I mean, just based on what I kind of thought they were in August, if that happened here, it would be a surprise. But hold on, let me see here. I have the schedule up in front if you need it.

No, I'm pulling it up right now. I'm always worried about if my cell phone works in my office. I saw Penn State in person, unfortunately, against Maryland. They surprised me. Their defense is real. And if their offense is even close to what it was against Maryland, then they're good enough to, you know, I mean, they get games with Ohio State and Michigan.

So you're already throwing Penn State into this. No, I'm just going down to that level. I think Oregon's really good, and I think that they had a crushing loss, which could haunt them because I don't know where they lose. I mean, right now I still feel like, I mean, it's obviously Bama, Clemson, Georgia, Ohio State, LSU, Oklahoma. We're sort of the sixth in Auburn and Wisconsin. And then because Notre Dame lost, there they sit, either nine or ten.

I think you still have all the way down to Penn State, because they've got games against Ohio State. I don't know what the path is for Oregon because people get it in their head that the Pac-12 is just, well, they're out again. That would be my concern with them. The Oregon thing... Where do you draw the line?

I like Oregon. I still do. We'd be looking at them entirely differently if Bo Nix doesn't make an incredible play that probably was still a bad throw. And that's why maybe I'm a little skeptical on Auburn because I just go, can Bo Nix? It's just asking a lot of these guys. There's juniors, and you're like, oh, this guy's inconsistent. Juniors, hell, there's 28-year-old quarterbacks on Sunday.

They're like, oh, if he could just be a little bit more consistent. You're like, you know what? That's probably who he's going to be. Because it's about half of these guys. That's the reason why they're not awesome is that if he could just be a little bit more consistent. You're like, you know what? That's probably who he's going to be. Because it's about half of these guys. That's the reason why they're not awesome, is that they just have bad games and they have good games. But I look at the... I'm skeptical of Auburn

because they have to play at LSU. Georgia comes to the plane. So does Alabama. Let's just say this. If they win those games, they will have beaten three top five teams and we will not have any doubts about Auburn. You know what I mean? No's just say this. If they win those games, they will have beaten three top five teams, and we will not have any doubts about them. You know what I mean?

No, no, right. And that's with Florida this week. I probably wouldn't put Florida in there, but I like Trask better than Franks. Oregon, I look at the Pac-12, and this is a compliment here, is that it kind of feels like any of these teams can knock each other off because that's exactly what's happened already. So I wouldn't just pencil in Oregon and say, okay,

well, you know, they got, you know, they're, they're rolling along here and they have, uh, eight more pack 12 wins.

No problem. Like that seems like you're assuming a lot. Maybe we can go ahead and assume that one. Uh, I don't know. They're at, no, excuse me.

They're at Eugene, not Corvallis this year. Um, Penn state, I'm not buying cause I, I've watched them too much this year and gone. You're going to have to be a little more impressive. I'd still include Texas. I wouldn't include Florida, but then that probably means they're going to beat Auburn

this week because they're home. Notre Dame, I'm on the fence with, but Wisconsin, absolutely. If they were sitting there at the end of this whole thing, I don't think we can be surprised unless we just look at Michigan. Because Michigan is probably going to end up being 5-1, but if Michigan gets housed by a couple other good teams again, we'll say maybe we overrated Wisconsin based on that. I fight myself on trying to connect all these things, but this is kind of the way it works. We could be sitting here right now thinking maybe LSU is amazing and then Oklahoma destroys Texas and then then what you know are we going to go we have to look at LSU differently I mean in the LSU thing

doesn't matter it matters for one freaking game and it's can you go to Tuscaloosa and can you keep it offensively with Tua and if they can they're going to have a chance there in a way they haven't had it feels like in a long time yeah I all that sounds right to me. But I think the thing that you and I always prided ourselves on was paying enough attention where if somebody came from, if someone was something of an outlier, it wouldn't be a surprise to us, right? You know, if it got late and all of a sudden somebody was still at the party, we wouldn't look around going, like, Jordan might have been. And I don't know that there's – I mean, I'd say different. There's not a team that's like that right now this year. There are too many of the prime people that we expect to be at the party that will remain there.

I think I'm just openly rooting for a little something different, because as much as Bama and Clemson can be these programs that you enjoy having in there, Oklahoma and Georgia, too. I mean, at some point, there needs to be an influx of at least one different team, or else it gets really, really boring, in my opinion. at least one different team or else it gets really, really boring in my opinion. And we've got that. We're in the midst of that right now where, I mean, and even Ohio state, like they're not new,

but fields being there and them not having been in it last year with, uh, it, it, it's, you just need some sort of a, of a taking turns being in the playoffs or I think it's just, you know,

it's the same shit every year. I think I read the other day that Florida, that 96 national championship team, that's the most recent first-time champion in college football. The what? So the last time a college football program won its first ever programs

national championship was 1996 with Florida. I was at Rasputin's back bar when that happened. And I probably didn't even care what Florida was doing. Although, you know what? I actually liked the Werfel-Canel stuff back in the day. Oh, wait a minute. Canel might've been, well, that would have been the bowl game and he was 95. So yeah.

Yeah. I had to just reset the button there i just want to see so i just i mean i mean look bam and clemson and they all deserve it they've this what they are i just i think i've just i just one one new team in the four would be fun that's all i'm looking for yeah you can say it all right i have two more things because I know you have an adult lifestyle and a show and everything. So what is the thing that people collectively get the maddest about on Twitter where you're like, I don't want to read your fucking tweets on this topic anymore? I had a few that I could offer up that I sent in a pre-pod email. We really prepped for this one.

I think fixing baseball by people that don't watch baseball is up there. You know, the games this year were longer. This is the longest. These games this year were the longest ever. You know that, right? No, and I almost sent like a jerky tweet out during the A's-Rays game where I was like, I can't wait for all these pitching changes. This is going to be amazing. But I still

like baseball, so I didn't want to be that guy. But people that don't watch baseball, suggesting how to fix it is one of my least favorite deals. But I don't care if I sound old or not. I think the fifth wildcard thing is stupid. I don't get it. Now that we've had it, are people really

going, you know, I was going to tune off, but there's three teams, four games out in that second wildcard now so i'm gonna see if the pirates can have a good series this weekend i just don't think that's what's happening and to have a team like the a's win 97 out of 162 when you started this in february and you're ending in october and all of a sudden after playing 162 and winning 97 of them you you're out after one. Like that doesn't make any sense to me, despite how great the wild card drama has been in some of these games. And maybe that's the point is have a moment, have your product be a moment, but I hate it.

I hate it. I hate it. I mean, we had Craig Council on and, you know, they lose the MVP of their team, maybe of the league. And then they play their asses off in September. Then they lose on a... I mean, it would have been tied after the Soto hit, no matter what happened with Grisham, but they lose on a mistake

in the eighth inning, and it's all out the window. If you're grading yourself on 162-game sample size, and then you're eliminating based on nine innings, I just... No no thank you um make it best of three i don't i really don't just at least at least then it's not totally arbitrary um but whatever i did i don't i don't see people trying to fix baseball because i don't i think you either you don't you think it doesn't need to be fixed or nothing that they do is going to

make you say it's better okay all right so that. So that one, not high on the priority list. That's not the one for me. Okay. I offered up a couple more. You know which one I'm becoming very tired of? Is that any backup QB that's in that has a bad game, someone auto goes, oh, and Kaepernick can't get a job? Like, we get it. And I kind of want to tweet

it the next person that doesn't be like you know this isn't insightful and you just were looking and going I need some reactions today like I need because it gets retweeted a thousand times no matter what but you know I would have thought Kaepernick was running for president when Nathan Peterman had that game last year with the Bills and was it two years ago when he threw a million picks and yeah it was and the cabinet so i just feel like on year whatever we're on with this the cabinet can't get a job it's just not it's not me being anti-captain at all it's just it's not really insightful and you're doing it for the retweets yeah i i think it's pretty predictable. The minute any quarterback gets hurt and a quarterback is want. I mean, if somebody would have given him a call, you'd think, we've covered this topic, I think.

I believe you on that. Yeah, we've got it. That's fine. By the way, the Peterman thing, the big pick game, I actually think was last year. I thought it was two years ago against the Chargers. He got McDermott, put him in there for Tyrod Baylor, didn't he? He was still on the team last year.

Because that's why... Peterman had a first half against Oakland. Excuse me, against the Chargers. It was two years ago. So 17. Because Allen was Buffalo's quarterback last year. Yeah, but he was on Buffalo last year, and he had seven picks as well. So that threw me off.

But you're right, because I remember still being in Bristol when he had the big pick game. It was not a great time. No, not for him. Not for him. But that was a big Kaepernick social media impression day. Pardon me. Here's where I am on Twitter.

Maybe this is recency bias because it happened a couple of times with the NBA right around the corner. It's the hardened step-back travel conversation. I don't like to be the guy,

and I do it on SportsCenter. Like, I'll do it with Giannis or whatever. I'll say, you know, Eurostep, or as we used to call it, a travel. And you come across like the old guy who doesn't like fun stuff if you have the audacity to say, James Harden just took four steps backwards on

that and then people like oh man you just you're just a hater and you just don't like fun no i don't dislike fun and i i have i have as i have an awe of james harden as an offensive performer like he is almost peerless in his abilities he's smart as hell and he's an incredible shooter and he understands how to use all these things to his advantage. So I'm in awe of him. I just don't think someone that's already that good ought to be allowed to just run because if there are, if there, if you have rules and they just don't apply, then don't have any fucking rules. Just let people run around, run the option. I don't care. And first down rockets. It's I just think you have to, if you point out that someone has taken three or

four steps because they took three or four steps, that doesn't mean that I'm the old guy screaming to get off my lawn. I'm just saying, are there any rules or aren't there? And I feel like there are two distinct camps with that. And the people that are, you just don't like fun. It's like, no, I just think that the rules ought to have some application, particularly in that place. But that's a losing battle.

I think maybe I'm the only one on this island, but I'll die on this island. Oh, no, dude. I couldn't agree more. And the right arm flick away by Harden. And then, you know, this is something we've talked about forever, but when Twitter decides to just cancel a player because he was playing

defense and then Harden gets away and like good for Harden for getting away with it. And I'm not telling Harden to stop doing it, but then we run the clip and it's like, okay, this guy died, you know, February 12th,

eight 50 central time. He died because Harden chucked him to the ground. And we make it look like his ankles are broken and all the gifts that were running. And that would drive me nuts as an opposing basketball player. I'd be like, oh, so the world's just going to shit on me here because a guy threw me to the ground and wasn't called? And then when you point that out, it's like, oh, what's wrong with you? You're probably pro owner. Like, no, I'm pro.

That's bullshit. You know, like what? And Harden is, yeah, unfortunately, because of his usage and because of the way that team is designed and what that guy had to do to keep them afloat, which was incredible. Okay.

And I've given him credit for that the entire time. But yeah, the Harden thing is really funny that like anybody that's anti-Harden, you're right, is like some old asshole of a person it's like not really like i don't like how did that shift that you're wrong for going actually he threw him away with his arm i've seen the jump do it and i've seen them argue and had people on the show be like oh you don't get it though you're like what don't i get so um yeah tell me i'm with

help me understand help me understand on the advanced cerebral plane, what I'm missing here, because that's, that's also part of a part of it. Like if a dude, if a, if a guy crosses someone over and that person falls down, then somebody on the social media team from sports center is going to tweak that out. And here's the thing. It doesn't matter if you make the shot, that's the part where, and maybe that's the part where I'm really old because this is, I know this might be a foreign concept, but like, if you cross me over and I fall down and then you shoot and miss and we get the rebound, then I didn't, I didn't lose there. You missed the shot, but it doesn't matter that you missed the shot. Cause I fell down.

I just think if, if we're in place, if we're at a place where the guy who falls down is the guy that gets laughed at, even if the shot gets missed, it's like, okay, so I, I don't know. It's just, it's, it's life through a social media lens. It's life as a vine, which is now TikTok, I guess, whatever the hell the most recent thing is, where life is distilled to a six-second moment where nothing that happened, oh, he missed the shot,

it doesn't matter, the other guy fell down. All right, well, Harden's going to make some dudes fall down, probably. And Harden's also going to take, like, three or four pop steps and back steps and take threes. And if you point out that he walked and you're the bad guy, no, I'm just like, I have eyes and I can see him. So I don't know. That's where I am on Twitter with the NBA getting ready to start is I'm already, I'm pre-fatigued for where the conversations on that front will go. And when you're a 6'7", 2 guard who made it rain for days and had his own NBA line before they even started painting it at the park, screaming with his hands up to a mix of people and backgrounds screaming,

is anyone going to guard me today? You have the right to call out travels. I did that. Were you the only white guy playing when you screamed that? You have the right to call out travels. I did that. Were you the only white guy playing when you screamed that? No, that day was probably more white beach goers. But there were days when I was the only white guy in the park. That was my greatest.

When I got out of the car and somebody screamed, and I didn't have to wait again after the one performance, that was high on my list of basketball accomplishments. We've got to do that. We've got to do how filthy was SVP back in the day because there are stories. I've heard them and the promises we all made. I had a brief run where I got pretty good, but it was unfortunately brief

and it was after I was 17, 18 in high school, so it was way too late for it to matter. Yeah, I didn't get a lot of offers at 29 either. When your game really rounded into form. Yeah, when I really figured out who I was as a player. And they're like, do you play anywhere? I'd be like, I'm still eligible technically, but I don't know if that's part of the plan.

Okay, all right. Here's a new game. It's called Summer House. Did I hear a laugh already? There's no one better at these things than you. Okay, all right. I'm really excited about this. Here's the premise.

It's you and another guy. And you know what? You don't have a ton of cash at the time, but I don't know. I guess I have to just include all of it in there. So it's everything that that person has. So I guess if the other person has cash, they have cash. So I had to be particular about this. So it's Scotty VP, summer house, maybe down at Dewey Beach. It might be one bedroom though, which plays a factor into this whole thing so who would you rather live with for a summer antonio brown or fred durst um fred durst times a million and this is actually great

because i actually i don't i don't claim to know fred oh but we've spent a bit i but i don't we've spent a bit of time together, and this may shock people, but Fred was a guest at one of the Tim Tebow charity events. That's right. He was thoughtful and down to earth and interested in stuff about my life and was a really, really good dude, which did not mesh with the guy I pictured from Limp Bizkit at Woodstock screaming break shit with fires breaking out. That wasn't who I anticipated. So me and Fred, I mean, I think there's like a real possibility that we could do this. So me and Fred, I mean, I think there's like a real possibility that we could do this. And Antonio Brown would suck because he might have someone come over and paint a mural and then not pay him and then various other problems that you just don't need to deal with. So me and Fred are down by law. All right.

You just made it serious at the end because maybe I wasn't even really. All right. So let's move on to the next one. But great. Do you have Fred Durst's cell phone in your, do you have his number in your cell phone? I don't. I don't. We didn't trade numbers, but we had like meaningful, like legitimately meaningful conversations about life. I know, but who's tier? Because there'd be a time where it's like, okay, well, Fred asked for my number. Certainly I'll give it to him, but the rules of the hierarchy of fame here dictate that I have to wait until Fred initiates a cell phone number exchange.

But I think now kind of the way things have been going, nothing against Fred, but with your meteoric rise, I think that was on you to initiate that now. So be less humble. All right. Number two, you ready? All right. Yep. James Harden or Jacob Sartorius. That's big cats, buddy. We retweets all the time so he can get in that teenage lane. Um, not Jocko Pustorius. That'd be way more fun to live withdy, who he retweets all the time so he can get in that teenage lane. Not Jocko Pustorius. That'd be way more fun to live with him, but he's unfortunately been dead for a while. Google that one, kids. Jocko.

But Jacob Sartorius or Harden? Harden. I feel like we could have meaningful talks about the three steps backwards. I could plead with him to play within the rules, and he could just give me that link that he gave in the interview. We could have probably some good meals. He has probably a chef or something, so the meals would be excellent. And that guy, the guy you talked about that Big Cat retweets, he's like a 13-year year old kid that sings or something.

Um, uh, that's not for me. So hardened by a lot. Yeah. I think it's hardened there. Um, because I, you know, I've hung out with her. He's my coach. He's my celebrity coach. So.

Right. You got, he got you. He got to the over, right? Well, I just checked myself in and and Harden was so out of it, he didn't really care. I never asked him to go in. I just went in. I go, I don't care.

And you got a bucket. I was like, hey, I got to get back in there, dude, and get some points. Because if I don't play, it's going to be really bad for me on Monday. And he was like, huh? I was like, all right, sounds good, coach. I just went and checked myself in. Buckets. Those guys went and checked myself in. Buckets.

Those guys weren't super locked in. They were just turning around trying to look at who was in the crowd the whole time. Okay, for the final one. Final one. And we'll be done. This is such a good one. 1996 old dirty bastard as your summer house roommate. Or Mike Greenberg. bastard as your summer house roommate or or mike greenberg or mike greenberg yep

i mean odb aka big baby jesus aka didn have Dirty Chinese Restaurant? Wasn't that one of the a.k.a. I don't, I mean, Mike Greenberg forever. We're going to, like, that mid-90s ODB, like, so much, so much potentially nefarious conduct could be going on. Maybe, I mean, it could be pushing the laws of law and physics. And Greeny would just be like super probably buttoned up about, hey, here's what the cable bill is.

And I went and I bought some nice filet and don't, you know, don't drink my Chardonnay. Like, not a problem. I just got the Diet Coke. I mean, this is simple. You have your spot. We have mine. Come on. Like, you don't come home. And who knows?

Although, ODB, like, the guest list could have been incredible. You'd never know who pops by, wants to get in the studio. I assume we have probably a studio in one of the bedrooms, right? Yeah, you're probably going to have some kind of makeshift studio there, ISDN. You know, I don't know how that would work. I think you answered this too quick. Because I think Greeny would suck as a summer house roommate, and I like him. But I think he'd be like, oh, are those your drapes? Or he'd be like, oh, I ordered sushi.

Oh, you wanted something? I think he'd be a solo food orderer guy. Ooh, ooh, yeah. oh you wanted something like i think he'd be a i think he'd be a solo food orderer guy oh oh yeah you know but see now but now with all the various means by which you could just get on an app and get your own food that's not gonna although it was 96 is this is this a combination time travel no no it's greeny today yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. I've moved the molecules. You're moving the goalposts on me, and you're confusing me. But I'm still saying, I'm still saying give me Greeny, just because I feel like there's way too many wild cards, way too many variables that can possibly be accounted for

when it comes to 96 OD. Yeah. No, it's a scarier roommate, but I think it would open doors to all sorts of things things and other guys would stop by. You'd imagine 96. So different guys from the woo, like you, God, would be there. I don't know. You can have that, and me and Greeny will just be over here getting tea times. I mean, it might not be the best summer, but it might not be a life-ending summer. Yeah, one is you could die.

The other is you end up hating one of your coworkers, like a lot. Right. You're just mildly irritated. I'll take mildly irritated over dead. I just think there'd be rules with Greeny. Like, hey, Tuesdays is Aloe Day. You know? Right, but then again... You guys don't do Tuesdays?

You don't do Aloe Tuesdays? Like, what the fuck are you talking about? Yeah. Yeah, but, you know... But ODB, ODB, ODB could be, could be pistols and samurai sword Wednesday. You know, I'm not,

I'm not up for that. He'd also go missing though. That's the other thing is he'd be missing. You'd have a single for a couple of weeks. Okay. Are you ready to say goodbye this way? I found one site that lists ODB is 28 nicknames. All right.

And this is how we're going to say goodbye. All right. Roll Fizzle Beef. Dirt McGirt. Huh? The Man of All Rainbows. There's something Dirty Chinese Restaurant. There's a Dirty Chinese Restaurant.

Is it on there? Dirt McGirt? I knew you weren't thinking Dirt McGirt. Everybody knows that one. Big Baby Jesus. Dirk Hardpek. Everybody knows that one. Big Baby Jesus. Dirk Hardpeck. Nice. Old Dirty Bastard.

And then there was a run where he went by Super Bastard. Big Box of Chili. Joe Bananas. Yep, Joe Bananas? Yep, Joe Bananas was on there. This one might be my favorite. Free, Load, and Rusty. If there's Chinese restaurants not on here, then I made it up, and I apologize to all Chinese restaurants whose hygiene is noted.

We still have more to go. Peanut the Kidnapper, Blunted Sultan, Prince Delight, Old Dirt Schultz, Barney Cool Breeze, Ill Irving the Murderer, RJ the Mad Specialist, the Bebop Specialist, Dirt Dog, Sweet Baby Jesus, the Drunken Master Styles, The Bizza, Osiris the Father. Obviously, there's a background.

He went by both. Aeson Unique, The Professor, Rain Man, and Hasan. So let's get a little more serious at the end. I'm going to Google old Chinese, old dirty Chinese restaurant. See if I can, see if there's anyone on the record. Hey, ooh, this is good timing because my man Sam is ready to go

to his soccer practice. You ready to go, buddy? All right. He's got on cleats in the house, which is a real problem. Okay. You say hello to the family.

I can't tell you how much I appreciate it and we'll talk soon. I look forward to it. This has been enlightening and I have to find out why I thought something about Chinese restaurant was on there because I swear to God I read it. This has been enlightening, and I have to find out why I thought something about Chinese restaurant was on there,

because I swear to God I read it. Yeah, because there's an old, dirty Chinese restaurant on Yelp. And by the way, you can follow him at NotTheFakeSVP and check him out with Stanford Steve on ESPN, their amazing sports center, which is a must-watch almost every night at 11 Eastern. Especially for our fantasy football content. Which I love. Thank you. I love you back. Especially for our fantasy football content. Which I love.

Thank you. I love you back. I had a blast doing that. Kyle, quick reaction. Instant post-game reaction from you. Loved the time travel. Loved the old dirty bastard. It was just a fun pod.

It was great. Big fan. I still wonder if you're comfortable enough to be like, you know what? Not as good as you think it is. Dude, I'm down with time travel. I was, I really jogged my brain, dude. I really thought about it.

You want your mind blown on a Friday? Yeah, exactly. Friday morning with no sleep. It's great. I noticed a couple of late night tweets from you. You're back in the dark room, huh? That's your spot. Where, where in LA is the dark room?

That's on Melrose. It's like on the cusp of West Hollywood. It was great. Brian Curtis popped up, uh, David Shoemaker, Mark Titus. It was titus it's good good time oh so you guys you guys went for it because i saw i saw a pretty late tweet and then a comment towards it so i was like oh he's up so how many hours of sleep are you on right now uh about two and a half man i always get the recovery of the recovery of the young nothing like it okay uh i'm gonna blow your mind here real quick time travel based i've said this before so some have heard it most haven't

but i remember being in high school and we had a kid who was a classmate and he actually wasn't that smart but he just sort of carried himself as smart he may have been like smart in the ways of things but it wasn't like oh this kid's like getting a 4-0 or anything i don't even know how great of a college he got into but he um we were talking about time travel in a chemistry class and he said if time travel were possible wouldn't we already know about it meaning that someone would have traveled from the future back here to tell us about it fuck yeah he's got a valid point right now the argument against that that i made was like we don't know if that timeline has actually been established though so right wormholes and whatnot right it was pretty cool a couple high school kids argued about the merits of time travel in the early 90s. So even though it was Martha's Vineyard,

they did not have a smoke weed before we went to class. All right. Enjoy your Friday. And that was a good time. We'll be back with Chris Long on Monday. And we've got another kind of cool guest lined up for next week. And we'll just keep this thing rolling. So please subscribe, rate, leave a million reviews if you could.

Mention Belvedere. If you want to help me out and you want the keep this thing rolling. So please subscribe, rate, leave a million reviews if you could. Mention Belvedere. If you want to help me out and you want the pods to keep going, although look, I'm not going anywhere for a couple years, but you get the game. So please play it if you feel like you want to and you're super bored. I mean, it sounds a little bit like I'm pandering, but I have to sometimes. So you guys are the best.

Talk to you soon. Thank you.