The Scathing Atheist - 471: Smite as Well Edition

Episode Date: February 24, 2022

In this week’s episode, Florida picks the WORST and only way you’re allowed to say gay, Mike Lindell tries to set up some helivangelism, and Ray Comfort will tell teenagers they’re as bad as murderers. --- To make a per episode donation at Patreon.com, click here: http://www.patreon.com/ScathingAtheist To buy our book, click there: https://www.amazon.com/Outbreak-Crisis-Religion-Ruined-Pandemic/dp/B08L2HSVS8/ To check out our sister show, The Skepticrat, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/the-skepticrat To check out our sister show’s hot friend, God Awful Movies, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/god-awful-movies To check out our half-sister show, Citation Needed, click here: http://citationpod.com/ To check out our sister show’s sister show, D and D minus, click here: https://danddminus.libsyn.com/ To hear more from our intrepid audio engineer Morgan Clarke, click here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/ --- Guest Links: Check out the Rational Black Thought podcast here: https://www.stitcher.com/show/rational-black-thought --- Headlines: FFRF sues WV public school over mandatory religious revival: https://onlysky.media/hemant-mehta/atheists-sue-wv-school-district-over-controversial-religious-revival-assembly/ Amendment to the dont say gay bill would force school to out students in 6 weeks: https://www.wfla.com/news/politics/florida-dont-say-gay-bill-amendment-would-force-schools-to-out-students-in-6-weeks/ Bill to educate kids about sex abuse prevention stalled in the OH Legislature by Christian group: https://www.dispatch.com/story/news/2022/02/21/erins-law-ohio-lawmakers-clash-conservative-group-over-bill/9314264002/ Greg Locke’s witch hunt is even worse than it looks: https://onlysky.media/hemant-mehta/greg-lockes-witch-hunt-is-even-worse-than-it-looks/ Majority of Americans are no longer certain that a god exists: https://onlysky.media/hemant-mehta/a-majority-of-americans-are-no-longer-100-confident-in-gods-existence/ Mike Lindell planning to airdrop pillows into Canada to help anti-vax protesters: https://www.thedailybeast.com/mypillow-guy-mike-lindell-plans-to-drop-pillows-from-the-sky-over-canada-in-support-of-trucker-vax-protest https://www.politico.com/news/2022/02/17/mypillows-ceo-canadas-truckers-00009950 --- This Week in Misogyny: Bob Jones apologizes for “Jesus in a dress” fashion show: https://baptistnews.com/article/how-a-students-fashion-design-project-upset-the-created-order-at-bob-jones-university/#.YgKYU-rMKUk

Warning, sometimes we start cussing before we can even make it through the fucking profanity warning. This week's episode of The Scathing Atheist is brought to you by HelloFresh, ZipRecruiter, and by the new alternative to science-based travel, PrayerPlanes. PrayerPlanes, because, oh, what's that? Suddenly you want to trust science again for now instead of prayer? That's what the fuck I thought. And now, The Scathing Atheist. Hi, this is Mike Cheatham with the Rational Black Thought Podcast, That's what the fuck I thought. And now, The Scathing Atheist. Hi, this is Mike Cheatham with the Rational Black Thought Podcast,

where each week we go through current events through the eyes of a black atheist, skeptic, and humanist. Though I've only been doing this for about a year, it has been long enough to prove conclusively that we did, in fact, evolve from filthy monkey men and women who fucked and had babies. Little filthy monkey boys and little filthy monkey girls who grew up and fucked, but not in the same family. Except in Kentucky, where they did, which is why people from Kentucky never evolved and are still filthy monkey men to this very day. What else explains whatever the fuck Mitch McConnell is? and it's thursday it's february 24th and when you're an atheist podcaster every day is fat thursday i'm only the thursdays i'm no illusions i'm'm Eli Bosnick. I'm Heath Henright. And from Joe Rogan's New Jersey, Ann Arbor, Michigan, and Waycross, Georgia, this is The Scathing East.

On this week's episode, Florida picks the worst and only way you're allowed to say gay now. Mike Lindell tries to set up some hell evangelism. And Ray Comfort will tell teenagers that they're as bad as murderers. But first, the diatribe. I grew up on an unpaved cul-de-sac just outside of Detroit, and while gravel roads were considered a downside for motorists, homeowners, and skateboarders alike, my siblings and I were pretty thrilled to have such a ready selection of collectible rocks so near at hand. I mean, you know, some of them were pretty good rocks.

Now, as an adult, I don't know that I can peer all the way back into my childhood mind far enough to tell you what made a rock good, but it was a universally recognized quality rather than a matter of taste. When you found a really good rock, everyone agreed. They got jealous. Everybody was jealous of your awesome rock. Their value was so broadly accepted, in fact, that they formed the backbone of the little sub-economy between my siblings and myself and the other kids in the neighborhood. You had your collection of good rocks, and anytime you wanted to cut in line for something or maybe play with somebody's remote-controlled car, you just whip them out

like currency and set about making a deal. The problem, of course, was that whatever inherent value a really good rock has fades away at some point along the road to maturity, and that's a fact that my brother and I learned when the guy in the ice cream truck told us to fuck off. Now, my memory of this is hazy at best. I know it more as a family legend than it's an actual recollection, so I'm pretty sure the poor ice cream truck guy was as polite about it as he could be. But the end result of it was me and my brother bursting into the living room in tears because the ice cream man wouldn't even haggle with us about the proper push-pop-to-really-good-rock exchange ratio.

At this point, of course, my poor mom had to patiently explain how value works. It was my first lesson in supply and demand, and because my mother is so fond of retelling that story, it also came to symbolize the innocent naivety of youth. The very image of economic stupidity in my mind has pretty much always been the effort to trade common rocks for money. And that made it all the more impactful when a listener shared a link with me this week to an $85 collection of common rocks on Goop. It's called the Goop Medicine Bag. But, you know,

by medicine, it means rocks. And it allowed me, assuming my mom's memory on the year was accurate, to isolate the exact point in my intellectual development when I officially passed goop customer on the scale of understanding. It was age six. And it actually makes me wish we'd thought to tell the ice cream man that our rocks might relieve his sciatica because otherwise we may have got some fucking ice cream. So, yeah, I had to check the website on this one. Not so much because I doubted Gwyneth Paltrow would call rocks medicine an ad copy, but more because there's just a level of stupid you have to stare at in disbelief for a minute.

So I did. You just see a picture of eight mostly polished rocks. 85 bucks, you only get eight fucking rocks. They're different colors and they have a cheap looking drawstring bag and the ad copy explains that quote these are crystals to encourage clarity serenity courage creative power and emotional strength end quote how do they work well the ad copy goes on to explain that you simply quote set a daily intention over your stone of choice and carry it with you for a physical reminder of where you're heading end quote could that not be

done with literally any rock or rock sized object at hand well sure but not medicinally hello of course even if you don't buy into this whole talking to rocks makes you more courageous crap the copy still has something to offer you quote not of the spirit set test this set as a pretty addition to your workspace or vanity end quote in other words one way or the other there's still some pretty awesome rocks now give me a fucking push pop but but the silliness doesn't end there right the site goes on to explain that these rocks are i swear swear this is real, quote, made exclusively for goop. That silicon dioxide wasn't going to just cool for any damn body. And then, because they clearly know what kind of idiots they're dealing with here, they feel the need to warn the prospective buyer that, quote, due to the organic nature of the crystals colors and sizes may vary and quote

but don't worry it doesn't matter all colors and sizes are equally effective in terms of emotional strength encouragement i guess so that part's not going to matter in the long run and look goop customers are victims right they deserve our sympathy rather than our scorn i really wish they'd make it easier on us by not selling out the goddamn medicine rock bag in the time it took me to write this fucking diatribe but they are victims the ad copy clearly bent over backwards to stay just this side of a legal claim rocks could after i'll help you remember to be more courageous but pawning rocks off on people with lies about their value, crime or no, should carry a mark of shame no less than conning people with stock or phone scams. When I did it, I was a six-year-old who wanted a fucking popsicle.

What the hell is your excuse, Gwyneth? They're talking about you, Jesus. We interrupt this broadcast and bring you a special news bulletin. Joining me for headlines tonight are the solid and gaseous to my liquid heathenwright and eli bosnick fellas are you ready to matter it's true the gassier i am the more i matter that was maybe but have you tried taking a solid in front of someone they'll remember you on their deathbed no that's true that's true that's fair lock fair. Lock eyes. People say it's unpleasant in the elevator now. In our lead story tonight, the FFRF filed a federal lawsuit against the Cabell County

Board of Education in West Virginia this week in hopes that courts would find whoopsie an insufficient justification for hosting a mandatory religious revival in the middle of a public school day again again yeah that's right last month students at huntington high school were ushered into a presentation by nick walker ministries during which according to nick walker's accidental confession on facebook quote 50 students gave their lives to jesus end quote now it said confession identified this is a voluntary club meeting but according to students it was voluntary only in the sense that like they also could have opted for suspension cool what are you in for fighting what are you in for being jewish

still again yeah after that lesson were you paying attention yeah now when word got out about this shit the school tried to characterize it as a mistake and added that they quote hope that will never happen again end quote which sounds suspiciously like what they said when virtually this same shit happened in 2017 yeah they hope it's you right exactly but like also how the fuck is it a mistake right it's not like there was some church across town that accidentally got a physics demonstration from dr science that day right it's not like the church group said they were going to talk about the dangers of drunk driving and accidentally brought their come-to-Jesus notes, the principal signed off on the show. The principal was there, right?

And so even if he didn't know what was going to happen beforehand, he knew what was going to happen when it fucking happened, and he didn't cut the microphone and excuse the fucking students. So no, it wasn't a mistake. And even if it was, First Amendment violations don't generally get written off on the basis of a whoopsie. Yeah, I get it. My high school accidentally quartered a bunch of soldiers in our houses. It was a whole thing.

Really, really wrecked junior year, let me tell you. Now, for their part, by the way, students were also unimpressed by this half-ass apology. When the school tried to justify it by pointing out that the assembly took place during non-instructional time, students were like, oh, homeroom is non-instructional? Then I'm sure you won't mind if we use it to stage a walkout to protest your theocratic bullshit, would you? So that's what they did. These kids are the best. This is awesome.

They are the best, yeah. Oh, yeah, the kid who organized the walkout sent this glorious notice to the faculty that read in part, quote, if a revivalist Christian sermon can be held for students, we claim the absolute ability to protest the violation of our rights that accompanied this sermon during the same apparently pointless period. End quote. Oh, it's pointless.

Yeah, so we're just going to start an atheist militia during the pointless homeroom. It's going to be badly regulated, just for the record. We'll totally put the guns away at the second bell uh when laws start counting again and it's no longer pointless right there you go cool now of course as awesome as the student response was it wasn't enough and that's where the ffrf comes in like i said this wasn't the first time the district made a mistake like this one so the freedom from religion foundation filed a suit on behalf of the kid that i just quoted along with a number of

other parents and students including a fucking Jewish family, by the way. Right. They're seeking damages in the amount of like $1 per plaintiff plus cost and attorney fees. But given the nonchalance of the school over this shit, I feel like dragging them to the courts is the only recourse left. Now, of course, honestly, if the fucking SCOTUS got a hold of this case, revival class would probably be mandatory in 18 states by October. So who the fuck even knows? I guess we'll keep you posted on this one. Instead of the dollar, I want the administrators to all do an Islamic revival.

I think they should. Accidentally have an atheist speaker show up. And in let the bodies hit the Florida news. We've got an update from last week's story about the so-called don't say gay bill from florida and spoiler alert it's from florida so it's worse than we thought and that's an amendment that would require schools to out gay students to their parents wow even if explicitly even if there's known risk to the child and that was added to the bill that was added to the note, don't say gay bill this week. Fuck's sake. So, OK, so what do you call the version of Godwin's law where the longer I should point out that the bill already had a

out your gay students rule in it it just didn't have a time limit on that rule so this amendment was filed by bill sponsor state representative joe harding who by the way looks like he thinks he beat the system by still getting his hair cut at Cuts for Kids. He looks so stupid. He looks like he definitely just now shat himself and he's proud about it. He ought to tell somebody. Right. He looks like somebody just announced that there had been a murderer and he replied, and I helped like the shake and bake kid.

Right. So now, thanks to this amendment, the bill would require schools to out gay students to their parents within six weeks of learning the student is any sexual orientation other than straight. But gays love to accessorize. Plus, the armband is even pink. Don't they like pink? I thought they liked pink. There's a lot of armband stuff this week. Fuck.

But it gets worse. I literally don't believe you, Eli. Well, get ready. Get ready. but it gets worse i literally don't believe you eli well get ready get ready so the original bill had an exemption to their student outing rule for cases where there's a suspicion of the information leading to and again quote abuse neglect or abandonment they changed that is what you're saying yeah this amendment removes that exemption horrible and advises teachers instead to quote, instead develop a plan using all available governmental resources to tell parents their child sexual orientation through an open dialogue in a safe, supportive and judgment free environment that respects the parent child relationship and protects the mental, emotional, and physical well-being of the child. End quote.

What? So for context, my guidance counselor in middle school was Mrs. E, the health teacher, who once told us that if we hung around gas stations to get high off the fumes, we would explode. It increases the chances.

They want that person to make a plan to outgay kids to their parents that they know are going to be abusive oh god jesus which okay but hold on i think i found a loophole because it says a supportive and judgment-free environment that respects the parent-child relationship. So that's not Florida. Oh, yeah. You gotta put them on a bus. They're describing fucking Narnia. Just like, well, if this doesn't work out, you go to a fantasy world where everything's awesome. But the way I read it,

we rescue that kid and bring him to a loving family somewhere else if the kid wants that. So, cool. That's actually a good little section of the law. Right. Accidentally. I do like that. Nailed nailed it we got an ally guidance teacher who just kills their dad i was just following the law i don't know i made a plan it seemed like the right plan i used all governmental resources so yeah one last reminder of the purpose of these bills it's to kill and torture gay children yes right like all policy, the cruelty is the point.

And while legally, I need to be very careful about what I say about this, I can say this. It should be a lot more dangerous and scary to propose and support these laws than it should be to be a gay kid. Yeah. That statement, by the way, was the compromise of a lot of back and forth with Andrew. A lot of back and forth. A lot of hurt feelings. Yep. We are not suggesting any murders. Nope, we sure aren't. Nope. Technically.

And in not the time for wordplay news, honestly, in response to a tragic series of sex crimes perpetrated by a coach at a public school, the Ohio House of Representatives passed a bill that would create a sexual abuse prevention curriculum series of sex crimes perpetrated by a coach at a public school the ohio house of representatives passed a bill that would create a sexual abuse prevention curriculum to help address that problem this very important piece of legislation only has two hurdles remaining one the republican

party and two christianity and that's why we do this fucking show the republican party and christianity ruin everything and that apparently includes literally the prevention of children being sexually abused that gets ruined by republicans and christians and christian right republicans i mean look christianity standing in the way of child sex abuse prevention is like philip morris standing in the way of tobacco regulation though isn't it that's right exactly what's happening here. Yes. Fuck. I'm sorry, Heath. Are you saying that sexual abusers of children don't get their own lobby? Where's your sense of laissez-faire? Can I say that? Yeah, so the bill is being called Aaron's Law, named after a survivor who became an activist

across the country helping to get laws like this one on the books. Under the proposed law, the Ohio Department of Education would provide school districts with resources to develop a curriculum, and schools would provide kids with information about counseling. There's nothing even remotely controversial about this bill. There's even a provision that requires the school to notify parents about the lessons and let the parents review the material. The law basically just says, sexual abuse is bad. You should try stopping it at the parents review the material. The law basically just says sexual abuse

is bad. You should try stopping it at the school districts, please, at least a little somehow. Well, the Center for Christian Virtue has a problem with that. And you've got to wonder what Christian Virtue means if that's the case. And that's the case. That group has been successfully delaying the bill's progress for a while now, and they're hoping to shut it down completely. Well, you know,

as we learned on this week's horrifying episode of God Awful Movies, a lot of Christian virtue relies on being sexually assaulted. So yeah, this tracks. This tracks. Yeah.

Yeah, like, would your whole thing relies on mentally torturing kids until they're afraid that a goat monster is going to burn them alive for masturbating? I can see how any child abuse prevention starts to look like a slippery slope to you yeah yeah and i can see how you get confused by the word virtue it's confusing if

that's your thing yeah you're idiots so the christian group that's opposing the sexual violence prevention plan i'm going to repeat that there's a christian group opposing a sexual violence prevention plan and they're arguing that the definition of age-appropriate material isn't clear enough in the bill, and they're also arguing that the curriculum would violate Ohio's abstinence-only sexual education policy. You know what? I'm going to repeat that last part, too.

They're arguing that a curriculum about sexual violence prevention needs to teach it via the concept of abstinence. Kids need to abstain from being victims of sexual violence. Yeah, they just get up there. Would you ride on a plane that has a three percent chance of raping you? Sorry, our bit doesn't work here. Yeah, fuck. percent chance of raping you sorry our bit doesn't work here about yeah fuck right but what's amazing is that they're pointing that out as something other than a problem with their abstinence only policy right right i mean like this sex ed program would prevent us from talking about sex abuse

prevention seems like it should be our argument we are saying that we say that you're evil we say that yes and just circling back to that other hurdle I mentioned, the Republican Party. Yes, the GOP controls the Ohio House where the bill already passed. They also control the Senate. But just for the record, out of 99 possible votes in the Ohio House, there were eight people who voted against this bill. All eight were Republican. What? this bill, all eight were Republican. What? Not surprising, I suppose. Fortunately for very basic ethics, it looks like there's enough bipartisan support to pass in the Ohio Senate too. But that vote isn't happening in the Ohio Senate because a bunch of Republican state senators met with the Christian virtue people and agreed to let those Christian virtue people submit their own version of the bill, which they've done now. The Christian version is abstinence only abuse prevention, whatever the fuck that means. It doesn't allow even the mention of contraception

or abortion access. It requires that teachers use the phrase sexual activity is only appropriate in marriage at some point during the lessons. And it does not allow the curriculum to mention or even imply that parents might not be trustworthy sometimes. Wow. And of course, they want the whole thing to be optional with parents being able to remove their kids from the class. Even though we know statistically about one-third of sexual abusers of children are parents or other family members yeah i mean to be fair we must protect the rights of parents to fuck over their kids is the republican platform yeah it's right basic freedoms well i guess after six years of defending trump they're just protecting sexual

predators instinctually at this sure yeah the guy standing across from the bus stop. Get over here. You're mayor now. Yeah. How is this complicated? Some freedoms are bad. You shouldn't be free to do shitty, evil thing. Why is that?

Whatever. Okay. I just a quick message for the Ohio Senate. I know you're listening. Big fans. New rule. No meeting with Christianity about sexual abuse prevention. That's like the Philip Morris tobacco prevention thing.

That's like the plot of The Departed when Matt Damon is the crooked cop helping out the mob, and then he gets the job of trying to find himself inside the police force. Don't do that. That's insane. And just in case you're still confused, here's the exact words from David Mann,

the policy director of that christian group you met with quote it's not like if we oppose the bill we are for abusing children is it so yeah well it is like that okay i'll grant that he's probably not lying i maybe he's not for abusing for the purpose of this paragraph for the purpose of this moment, I will grant that. But if you ever say it's not like I'm for the sexual abuse of a child, you've done something wrong. Right. You might not have abused a child. You might not be.

You're doing something wrong in your life. which I asked U.S. Congressman Jim Jordan of Ohio for a comment about the story with the coach who sexually abused a bunch of kids at a public school in Ohio, and nobody around him did anything about it for a long time, and it was really horrible and tragic. Mr. Jordan has not responded to my ask for a comment. So weird. And while we eagerly await that response, we're going to pause for a quick word from this week's first sponsor, HelloFresh. Jim Jordan did all those things at Ohio State. Yeah, it's Jim Jordan.

Dude, you got to send these back. They don't take returns. Hey, guys. What are you up to? Oh, hey, Noah. So, you know our sponsor, HelloFresh? Of course. With HelloFresh, you get farm-fresh pre-portioned ingredients and seasonal recipes delivered right to your doorstep. You get to skip trips to the grocery store and count on HelloFresh to make home cooking easy, fun, and affordable. That's why it's America's number one

meal kit. Yeah, that. Yep. Right. Well, Keith wasn't paying particularly close attention to those ads, and he accidentally signed up for CelloFresh, which delivers a cello to your door once a week. So how many has he gotten so far? Nine. It's way too many cellos, by the way. Two is fine. Three, four, maybe. Nine, though. But Eli, you were already a HelloFresh customer even before they were a sponsor, right? I sure was, and I still am.

HelloFresh offers 50 menu and market items to choose from every week, including veggie, vegan, fit and wholesome, family-friendly, and gourmet options, providing plenty of variety. Also, cellos are like wicked expensive. Did you guys know that? Like so expensive. Well, according to the Zagat dining survey, HelloFresh is 72% cheaper than a restaurant meal of the same quality, and you can save on average over $65 per month when you order HelloFresh instead of grocery shopping. That's money back in your pocket. Go to HelloFresh.com slash Scathing16 and use code

Scathing16 for up to 16 free meals and 3 free gifts. That's right. Go to HelloFresh.com slash Scathing16 and use the code Scathing16 for up to 16 free meals and 3 free gifts. Hey, do you guys need a cello? I do not. No. I got extra. Nope.

A man wrote the Bible. A whore is what she wants. If it's a legitimate race. If it's a slut,? I do not, no. I got extra. Nope. A man wrote the Bible. A whore is what she wants. If it's a legitimate race. Then it's your slut, right? Cooking can be fun. Hey, I'm proud of a man. This Week in Misogyny. Well, holy hell, does the misogyny stack up when I take any time away.

Which is exactly why I need to take time away. It's a vicious cycle. Anyway, the story I want to share with you this week comes to us from that notorious bastion of misogyny, Bob Jones University. Now, they're far better known, I think, for their racism than for their sexism. They didn't drop their ban on interracial dating

until the year 2000, so you can see why. But they're also famous for the ankle-length skirts on their cheerleaders, and they didn't start allowing female students to wear pants to class until 2018. And unlike their support for segregation and their ban on interracial dating, they've never bothered to issue an apology for any of the misogyny. Of course, with groups like Bob Jones University, sometimes you can learn as much from what they will apologize for as you can from what they refuse to.

Case in point, a couple weeks ago, they were falling all over themselves in their efforts to apologize for a fashion show where Jesus wore a dress. That's right, the controversy started when design student Matthew Fox set about creating Bible-inspired designs and featured three models, one designated as Eve, another as Satan, and the third as the J-Man himself, dressed in a crown of thorns and a blood-red wrap coat that, while not actually being a dress, looked kind of like a dress. According to one scandalized observer, quote, he looked like a gay man. It is blasphemous, end quote. A group of equally shaken trustees and administrators were quick to respond to calls for an official apology. So this ostensible institution of higher learning put out an official apology where they expressed regret that a Jesus model looked, in the estimation of many, too feminine. The apology read in part, quote,

In response to this egregious event, the executive leadership and board of trustees acted immediately. Our administrative and academic leadership, along with our art and design facility, have taken full responsibility to correct these problems and are making significant changes to the program itself. End quote. and are making significant changes to the program itself. End quote. Now, unfortunately, they didn't go into any details on how they plan to butch up Jesus.

And for the life of me, I can't even imagine what action their board of trustees even could take on this. But there you have it. 73 years to apologize for a ban on interracial dating. 73 hours to apologize for Jesus looking fabulous. Anyway, there's obviously plenty more misogyny to go over, but this is a tub I've got to kind of ease myself back into a little bit at a time. So with the promise of even bullshit-ier bullshit next time, I'll hand things back over to Noah, Heath, and Eli. Thank you, Lucinda. And in Locke and Loda crap news. I have to admit, it's easy to dismiss idiots like Pastor Greg Locke as a ridiculous clown

with a Dunkin' Donuts order that belongs in a Willy Wonka sequel. But this week, we were given the grim reminder of just how dangerous idiots like Greg Locke can be as he announced that he had the names and addresses of six witches in his church. Which he was given by an angel. That's right, folks. McCarthyism, but less grounded in reality. Right. Okay, I got to say, though, this makes our little piece of land right next to his church

so much more goddamn fun. I'm going to call my cauldron guy and my pulley guy. We're going to do some flying stuff. It's going to be fun. So fun. In a diatribe in which Locke all but fucks a stool like a hack 2000s comedian, Locke gleefully announces to his congregation

his new information saying, quote, We got first and last names of six witches that are in our church. And you know what's strange? Three of you are in this room right now. Three of you in the room right now. You better look in my eyeballs. We ain't afraid of you, you stinking witch. This is a real quote, by the way. I'm doing a voice, but this is exactly word for word. You devil worshiping Satanist witch, we cast you out in the name of Jesus Christ. We break your spells. We break your curse.

We got your first name. We got your last name. We even got an address for one of you. Oh, just the one? Just for one. He couldn't, you know. Five of them he couldn't find an address on Google. Couldn't get it.

You so much as cough wrong, and I'll expose you in front of everybody in this tent. You stinking witch. End exact quote. If they just lay low and cough correctly, he's not going to expose the witches? Right, yes. He's going to let them

carry on with their satanic witching in his church. I feel like he's clearly a witch he does cough pretty weird i know some historically christian tests we could do yeah to see if greg lock is a witch all right but to be fair though the only possible way to up the stakes from book burning is a literal witch hunt right yeah so i guess tune in next week to hear about greg lock appeasing the volcano with the flesh of a virgin we're gonna build a bridge out of him so

bad in that little property and look fun as it is to make fun of greg let's be clear about what's actually happening here he doesn't think there are witches in his church he's attempting to intimidate the women of his church, right? We've had dozens of listeners tell us over the years how mortally terrified they were for having played with a Ouija board once as a kid, right? He mentions burning sage at one point during his little tirade. He's just shotgunning random witchy stuff the women in his congregation might be doing to terrify them and to cow them

into obedience and from a guy who most recently as noah pointed out gained national attention for holding a book burning that would and should scare anybody yeah yeah remember the scene in animal farm where the dogs finally started attacking people. It's like that. She's like that, yeah. And finally tonight, in Vaxxumum Overdrive news. Nice, fantastic. The totalitarian atheist regime in Canada continued its fascist death prevention campaign

despite a bunch of big trucks that are in a snit. But they faced a brand new challenge last week soft christian rectangles of course i'm talking about my pillow ceo and every cop from 1985 mike lindell he decided to support the anti-vax trucker protest by providing pillows as literal physical support for that protest. But his first attempt at a delivery got blocked at the Canadian border, so he came up with a new plan. He wants to airdrop the pillows using helicopters.

So far, it hasn't worked out. So far, he has not been able to infiltrate the nation of Canada with a secret convoy of helicopters that he hired carrying 10,000 pillows that he will then airdrop. But that's the stated plan for Mike Lindell. It is. Side note, podcast listener, we are currently in a golden era of history, truly unprecedented, where our neighbors to the north finally hate like we do here in the united states have you talked to a canadian lately they are poutine throwing mad up there my friends poutine throwing mad well like to the point where i've been offered multiple positions this week as a

state-sponsored canadian hate coach so everything about this whole plan by lindell is a giant failure and i fucking love it he fails at everything he's gonna use little he's so stupid little parachutes it's the best okay i'm gonna start with the first delivery attempt which was almost as stupid as the helicopter idea now just think about that relative it's almost as stupid as that lindell sent a bunch of trucks full of pillows from a factory in minnesota to canada his company by the way has a factory in ontario canada but according to lindell that factory doesn't really do anything anymore because he got canceled in canada over the last couple years so. So he sent the trucks from Minnesota along with a film crew of unvaccinated right-wing idiots

from the Right Side Broadcasting Network. So the Canadian border agents, they are heroes. They had a delightful day that day of explaining, no, you actually can't come in because of, well, actually the exact thing you're trying to protest is why you can't come in. But no, no, you guys just sit tight right here and we'll check if there's an exception to that rule for you real quick. We're going to definitely make some real phone calls and not mime phone calls.

It's definitely what we're doing is real. It'll be super quick. We'll be right back. And they made them all sit there for hours. Oh my God. They checked to see if they had any exemptions in the back. I have never loved customs officials more than I love those guys right now. And then they like fake pretended they were grabbing stuff from the back.

It's so good. Oh yeah. So following that incident, the news crew tried to claim they were grabbing stuff from the back it's so good oh yeah so following that incident the news crew tried to claim they were being detained because you know that word makes them feel sexy but that's not how it works when you're allowed to go in all the south including directions like that's not detained that's just being told no well It's tamed? I don't know. Lindell was not going to be deterred by this. He told the Daily

Beast last week that he was going to drop the pillows into Canada from helicopters with tiny little parachutes. For safety. Because that would be unsafe otherwise. Of course, that's extremely stupid and everyone

made fun of him so now he's just very obviously lying he's claiming it was a prank yes he he punked he uses he uses the phrase punked he says i punked him he thinks he thinks he punked the daily beast by making up a really stupid plan and telling a reporter about it at the daily beast so you know got got him. Yeah, no, that's his real story. His actual story is that he told reporters that he was going to drop pillows with tiny little parachutes so that they,

the reporters, would look stupid. Hey, Mike, you know they're not oracles, right? That they're just reporting. Especially when you admit that you told them yeah okay but to be fair to mike lindell that is a great strategy that will always work because mike lindell is so stupid and so fucking crazy that if tomorrow he announced he was gonna run

backwards around the earth as fast as he could for an election do-over i would believe him i'd help him yeah yeah so regardless of the helicopter plan mike lindell was pretty sure the protesters were gonna wear through their stock of pillows that they brought and be forced to leave the protest but a big infusion of new pillows would really bolster their staying power that was his strategy especially if there were bible scenes printed on the pillows that's that's what he did they were like noah zark inside of the pillow stuff like that now sadly we never got to test that theory because justin trudeau is a fascist dictator and he used emergency powers to authorize police to clear out for the most part the part of ottawa's downtown where

the majority of the protest was happening so now there's 10 000 bible pillows just sitting in a sad pile somewhere hopefully in like a helicopter hangar that's really mad and they're keeping a deposit and before we wrap it up here's the very important question what else can we get mike lindell to do like where can we get him to show up with pillows because we can definitely get him to show up somewhere with pillows maybe run around the earth backwards too i so this man has a reason to carry smothering devices pretty much anywhere he goes and he has access to donald trump are you sure you want us to have eli answer that question okay okay hear me out hear me out i'm ready with the bleep button listen nobody's buying the bullshit like trudeau's thugs are killing the truckers in secret canadian raids harder than Lindell, right? Sure. So here's what we

do. We send Lindell a gun with a single bullet in it and then see if he'll deliver the pillows to heaven. Nope. So, Jesus Christ. That's legal. What did I just say? It's very legal. I bet we could get him to fly into the DMZ

between North and South Korea with some pillows maybe, something like that. All right. So on that obvious joke Eli made that no reasonable person could take seriously, we're going to close the headlines for the night. Heath, Eli, thanks as always. Go to the DMZ. It's really cool there.

And when we come back, we'll let a little ray of sunshine back into our lives. Oh, I've missed him. Hey, podcast listener. You want to hear a secret? Not all jobs suck. It's true. There's jobs that pay well. Jobs with flexible hours.

Even jobs that you enjoy doing. Can you believe that? And the best place to hire for your awesome job is ZipRecruiter. Their matching technology helps you find the right people for your roles fast. And right now, you can try ZipRecruiter for free at ZipRecruiter.com slash scathing. ZipRecruiter uses its powerful technology to find and match the right candidates up with your job. Then, it proactively presents these candidates to you. You can easily review these recommended candidates and invite your top choices to apply for your job, which encourages them to apply faster. ZipRecruiter's technology is so effective

that four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. That's right, Noah. Glendage. It's been like three years since that joke. Forever in our hearts and minds. The people's princess. Okay, find the right employees for your workplace with ZipRecruiter. Try it for free at this exclusive web address, ziprecruiter.com slash scathing. That's ziprecruiter.com slash S-C-A-T-H-I-N-G. ZipRecruiter, the smartest way to hire. Because jobs don't have to suck, no matter what your uncle tells you. As humans, we are born with certain needs, food, shelter, sleep, stuff like that.

Our culture then provides us with a second tier of needs that are nearly as important, coffee, Wi-Fi, cheese, but each of us carries a third tier of needs as well, a more idiosyncratic set that begin as torments then graduate to habits and then from habits to desires and from desires to deepest needs and i offer all that up as an explanation as to why we once again watched ray comfort videos on purpose for this week's god awful mini so tell us heath what will we be breaking down today i don't know some fucking ray comfort video like he's yes a comedian got smited by god in his head and then it's a ray comfort video where he's harassing people on the street it's the same thing yeah right right it's not even really about that the title is she mocks god publicly yep there it is yeah Yeah. Okay. Then this happens. So sorry. She mocks Jesus publicly.

Then this happens. Dot, dot, dot. And you wouldn't believe what happens next. Yeah, exactly. One weird trick. And Eli, how bad was this mini? Well, if you enjoy grandma's commentary as you shuffle her roughly back to her room at the home, but you wish she always came back to Jesus.

And let's be honest she does you will love this movie ray's so desperate to be relevant at this point i'm amazed he hasn't stormed the capital for jesus right yeah so is there anything you guys want to nominate this one for being the best to be the worst at i would i going to go with best worst comment section on YouTube. Oh, I did not have the balls for that. Amazing. So this video is it starts anyway with a comedian making a joke about Jesus and Christianity being stupid and immediately getting in his head smited by God. She has a seizure and she falls down on stage. So the comment section is just all very obvious lies by christian people being like something like that happened to me too same thing pretty much i and they they tell this whole story about how god somehow smited like i was fucking my super hot canadian girlfriend and

her seven really hot model friends at the same time and they were like oh my god your dick's amazing it is amazing and they were said they talked about that for a while and then one of them was an atheist and she smoked a joint that was rolled with bible paper and it burst into flame and her face exploded and it was amazing did i mention i was fucking nine women at this point two more showed up since i started yeah yeah I started. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. And speaking of which, I was going to go with best, worst, holy vengeance. Oh, yeah. Right? Because, like, God is

all powerful. A joint could have walked in the room and exploded in this lady's face. Right. But instead, she says, you know, joke, joke, joke, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, and then has a seizure from which she is fine immediately after right like yeah up your fucking game jesus we're gonna talk about it but like she's also very

clearly not mocking jesus she just says that jesus likes her best yeah it's a very petty vengeance yeah also she's not that famous right like do do George Carlin back when he was like... Yeah, right, right. Yeah, exactly. Much more impactful statement by smiting a famous comedian. During an HBO special or something. Yeah. Exactly.

And I'm going to go with best worst almost rescue from Ray Comfort. We've seen a lot of people try to escape Ray Comfort. a lot of people try to escape Ray Comfort. And the stopped rescue attempt from Ray Comfort that's in this one is truly legendary. Yeah. Oh, that's a prank. We'll get to it. That's a prank, right?

That's what's happening? Yeah, right. No, that's right. Yeah, I called Ray Comfort on you, and now I'm standing there watching you have to suffer through it. Pretending that I'm going to rescue you, pump-taking a rescue, and then going away? Right.

That's a prank somebody did in this video, I'm pretty sure. So, okay. So, yeah, we're going to open the video up with the local news telling us about a comedian that's now out of the hospital after injuring herself on stage. And then we're going to cut to that injury, which we've already discussed, right? Right. And then from there, we immediately cut to an interview where someone's like, so do you think that the creator of the universe smited you on stage for mentioning his son in the mildest possible way? And she was like, no.

Right. supposed to be like, see, she didn't even consider for a second the reality of the ghost of a dead carpenter pushing her down and it's like a fucking schoolyard bully. What an asshole. She deserved it. Okay, but let's say God is

doing this and apparently he's doing, you know, people nobody's heard of. So I volunteer. Doing requests now. Let's do podcasters. Hey God, I mock you now. You're dumb. smite me and i'll be christian just go right ahead or say nothing i'll stay atheist yeah right well that's just the thing is like do we mock god so much more every fucking week than this yeah right it's like when someone you know from high school has like a tweet go viral and you're like come on man i'm

telling jokes every day god smiting her she was at the laugh shack in bayonne new jersey right i've done all of your holy books all of them i'm on to just random crazy guys at this point and now so of course ray has been silent for a full minute of one of his videos and that's enough of that so he veos his way in like elbows his way in with his voiceover to bitch about her swearing and making fun of Jesus. And he points out that we would never make fun of Islam. No, certainly not for a whole year. Could you imagine comedians making jokes about,

oh, Jesus Christ. A whole playlist on their YouTube channel for it? The tone of it was like, well, why don't comedians make fun of Islam then? They're bigots. That's why they're anti-Christian persecution bigots. That seemed to be the point he was making. Yeah. And from there, he transitions to the problem is that people say Jesus loves you too much.

Yeah. Even when he hates your fucking guts right like he obviously hated that comedian lady if people hadn't told her that jesus loved her maybe she'd have known better than to mouth off to god right and then he explains about how the bible yeah it says you know there's love god loves you maybe a little bit jesus is love but it's really about genocide and eternal damnation. Take it seriously. Right. And I was like, oh, he's going to have to cut soon because he's ruining his whole point.

He's accidentally making a really bad point. And there it was. He cut right there after this. Well, yeah. So he explains that, you know, oh, well, you might think John 3.16 is about universal love. And I'm like, it's about human sacrifice, dude. I feel like you've got an easy argument to make. And he's like, it's about human sacrifice, dude. I feel like you've got an easy argument to make. And he's like, it's about human sacrifice.

Stop. Noah, don't interrupt me. Don't interrupt me now. It's about human sacrifice, you damn it. I'm glad we're never live for these moments because we just have this weird, awkward stillness moment next to Ray. We were like, okay, on the same page with Ray Comfort. Yeah, exactly. I'm going to check I'm not wearing stupid sunglasses. We're just finishing each other's

sentences? We all just start fucking. This is how we knew it was gonna end, Ray. This is how we knew. Ever since I got that first taste. Thank you. So that gets us two minutes and 27 seconds into the video we are

hooked so he can stop pretending that this is new shit and just start bothering random high people on the street with his are you a good person shtick random high girl on her break i love this she is very stoned very just and drastically like 17 yeah right like so let's be super clear we're like this is a 17 year old high for the third time or something that he's found there's like there's a bong just out of the frame that she ripped nine times right before this video the guy the black guy next to her is standing in front of it i think right like he's that's why he doesn't waver much to the left or right. Yeah.

The cut footage from this interview is Ray just saying, are you sure you haven't seen a skunk around here? Because I smell a skunk. And so, you know, of course, and this leads into the whole Ten Commandments thing. You know, have you told more than zero lies in your life? Have you stolen more than zero times? Well, then you're not a good person.

Real quick, because I am desperate for any deviation from the norm here. He does ask this stone 17-year-old what you call someone who steals, and she says a stealer. To which he says, no, no, they're from Pittsburgh. You call them a thief. And I'm like, wow, you've heard that before.

Wow. Did you tell her to set that up? Were you like, I got this amazing pun. I need you to set this up. We're going to cut and we're going to come back in. It's going to be amazing. It's like off the cuff. I just thought it's Steeler.

How many high people has Ray bothered that he had to develop that line? Yes, exactly. Also, I'm pretty sure Steeler is a word that is a person who steals. Correct, yeah. I mean, it's not underlined on my fucking notes here so i mean squiggle guy killed himself in our notes long ago so you can't

trust him that's true yeah he also immediately after that turns to the black guy next door and is like come on dude i know you steal yeah right well and then he asked about using the lord's name in vain and they're like well yeah yeah and he's like would you use your mom's name as a cuss word and i'm like technically like i use motherfucker and she's masturbated i'm sure yeah so like maybe her nickname i've called my brother a son of a bitch does that count i mean i just i yeah i feel like i say like i almost like felt like that was a goal that i had not yet achieved yeah i'm in there's a level of profanity i haven't reached yet. Well, hold on a second, Ray. Next time I stub my toe, I'm just going to be like, oh, Lee Bennett Hopkins Award winner Liz Rosenberg. Oh, that one got me out.

Do some people say yes to that question? Like, yeah, because he specifically says, do you use your mom's name as a synonym for shit when you curse? Do you say instead of shit, your mom's name? Well, instead of the S word, but yeah. I'm assuming he meant shit. Yeah. He could have meant something else. Yeah, honestly, he could have meant suck.

Do people do that? I think that was supposed to be an analogy to using the Lord's name in vain. It would be like using your mom's name as a cuss word. That's what he was aiming for. Or maybe that's just his way of saying your mom is shit. He's just going around about for it, I guess. Yeah. And it's not out of the question because he then follows that up with this is very serious.

It's punishable by death. And I just want to say, if I'm stoned and 17, that is not what you want someone that close to your face. The camera is so goddamn close to them. How does he does he just have the camera like in his he and he's just like putting it next to their face? I'm sure he does. And of course, we should point out that this girl is like slowly backing away the whole time, desperately trying to escape, nervously laughing like she can make it go away with that or something. And that's before he starts explaining to her that she, you know, deserves to burn in hell forever for being

a vile slut. Yeah, I loved it when he was like, have you ever looked at anyone with lust? And she was like, nope. And he's like, oh, that fucks up my thing. How about you, guy, man? And he's like, okay. Okay. I'm the one. Not the child I work with

right there, to be clear. Also, you can see, so she's trying to back away very clearly like everybody in all of Ray Comfort's fucking videos. And he knows it's coming because he's experienced this many times. So he starts talking a little bit faster and not leaving

any pauses for people to social contract, jump in and be like, alright, that's enough. And he sees them about to start doing contract, jump in and be like, all right, that's enough. And he sees them about to start doing that. And he just fires into his next sentence, his next stupid question. Yeah. It's the worst.

Yeah. And this is of course when her, he's like, she's giggling and he's like, wait, why are you laughing? I'm talking about important stuff like hell. And he's like,

she's like, cause my boss is standing right behind you going like, I called this motherfucker and told him to come bother you because you took too long on your 15. This, boss, it's the best, is the worst. Look, I don't know if this girl is listening. If she is, if someone could get a hold of her, someone tell her she never has to cut her 15 short again, right?

Just like, oh, well, no, I actually had time to talk to that crazy Australian guy about what a slut I was, so I believe I have 46 seconds left. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. But no, the boss comes out and this girl is just like, hello, boss. I am blinking very violently and patting my head.

Hello. No, this guy's awesome. But I am doing those two things, as you can see. I am trapping my thumb with my fingers. Did you notice that bit? Oh, my God. And then the boss is just like oh that sounds like having a good time all right bye and then goes back inside

i'll be in here doing all the work yeah and then you can see during the rest of the conversation in this little clip the but like this girl starts to laugh like four or five different times after the boss goes back inside the boss is 100 popping up in the window and giving her the finger and no question don't take more than 15 well yeah and then like she's like oh do you need help she literally says do you need help and the girl's like i guess i don't want to say out loud that i need help no and then we quit right back to ray going like okay so you're like a murderer who's killed young women he literally says who's killed young women his example of a criminal is a man who has murdered multiple young ladies and i wrote in

my notes hey ray quick note buddy maybe get a different example you can think of a different example right yeah anything slightly less specific would be great that'd be especially when you're talking to a young lady you know maybe, maybe someone who works at Jamba Juice. Right. Murdering multiple tweens. No, that's more specific. You made it worse. It's worse now. David Elliott.

Is he getting worse at the judge metaphor? Right? Because he does the like Jesus can pay you fine thing, but he gets lost in the weeds. He's like, you know how there's a judge and he's also the lawyer and he made all the laws because he killed himself for you? I am good at metaphors. And you know how that judge is kind of

like a parachute? Oh, fuck. Fuck. You know like at the Starbucks line when the person buys the one and then they send it, it's like it's like that with torture. Wow lost my train of thought he says that's why i never tell people that jesus loves him i'm like well damn it stop fighting things we have in common ray and then i love this because you know she's just nodding along nodding along yeah whatever's gonna make you go away and she's like and he's like all right along. Yeah, whatever's going to make you go away. And she's like, and he's like, all right, well, I'm done.

Would you like this free Bible? And they're both like, nope, sure don't. This is where he gives them the fake money. Yes. Uh-huh. I will murder you. This is the fake money that people leave as fucking tips. It looks like money.

It's worse than that. And it's a tract and they leave it at a restaurant. It is the only thing worse than fake money. It's a fake stack of money. Yeah's worse than that. And it's a tract and they leave it at a restaurant. It is the only thing worse than fake money. It's a fake stack of money. Yeah. Uh-huh. And then, okay, so normally that's where we would end, right? Because that's where the video ends, but it carries on for like

90 seconds trying to sell us shit from Living Waters Ministry and it's Ray Comfort, so of course it's all fucking glorious. Okay, guys, I really want all of it yeah right no every single thing i was like well that could be a segment that could be a whole segment on this show i want to do the evidence bible which includes the yes the top 200 questions from non-believers and cults it's got cults he says it includes cults. It says it includes cults. The cults like Catholicism.

Yes! It even talks about cults. And he turns the page and it says Mormonism at the top and then Catholics after that. And atheism. The cult of atheism. Yes, the cult of atheism as well. We're very culty about it. And then there's a how to tell random strangers that they're lustful sinners

who deserve to burn in hell starter kit. They have a starter kit okay genuinely million dollar idea are you ready stopper kit right someone hands you a chick track you hand them back a trick track they open it up fuck yourself yeah there you go right it's got a coin that says fuck yourself there's a million dollar bill in there turn it over fuck yourself god he then writes gonna murder you open this sealed envelope yeah i pop out i murder you anthrax yeah how'd you i folded myself right in i did this uh spent a lot of time on yoga just for this bit just for this and then okay correct me if i'm wrong i i thought i was maybe crazy but did this happen at the end did he say so one of the things in the magic kit is shitty fake coins 10 commandments coins 10 commandments coins yep does he say

you know what i did one time i i used these to start a street fight between a pack of homeless orphans by throwing them into the street and they all got into a fight. Okay, bye. End of video. I'm not crazy. That happened? He says, I've seen teenagers get into fights. So I've thrown these out on the sidewalk and watched teenagers fight each other over who gets them. He said that, right? Yes.

He did say that. And that's the end of the thing. And then it's like buy your own and watch teenagers fight on your sidewalks yep what is happening yeah i i feel like he meant to cut that and didn't yeah don't worry i'll put in something normal in post like meat between rabid dogs all right everybody i'll see you next time yeah all right well while i mark up the evidence bible in our upcoming god awful book selection list i suppose we can close things off for the night but we'll be back soon

with another god awful mini before we duck and cover tonight i want to remind you to grab your tickets for free flow if you're going to be in in or around Orlando, Florida on the weekend of March 4th through the 6th, I'm going to be giving a talk on Sunday. But if you catch me on Saturday, you can wish me a happy birthday in person, which would also be awesome. Check the show notes for links to get your tickets. Anyway, that's all the blasphemy we've got for you tonight. But we'll be back in 10,022 minutes with more. Can't wait that long. Be on the lookout for a brand new episode of our sister show, The Skeptocrat, debuting at 7 a.m. Eastern on Monday.

An even newer episode of our sister show, Hot Friend, got off 70 eastern on monday an even newer episode of our sister show's hot friend got off on movie stay being a 70 eastern on tuesday and an even newer episode of our half sister show satish you need a debut at noon eastern on wednesday obviously this show would feel empty if i neglected to thank heath enright for being a heartbreaker eli bosnick for being a dream maker and lucinda illusions for being my love taker i also want to thank mike from the rational black thought podcast providing this week's far as with quote a little longer than usual but hey when you're trying to figure out what the fuck is up with Mitch McConnell that takes a minute but most of all of course I want to thank this week's and last week's most mellifluous mammals Earl, Marco,

Ian, Adonijah, Richard, Jezebel, Human, Scott, and Calvin who are so hot NASA had to put heat shields on both sides of the Parker solar probe I agree with that 100% James, Dorian, Brad, Kevin, Royce, and Daryl and let's sign Heath up for Christian Mingle, whose IQs have more digits and decibel than mine have in binary, and KJ, Sean, Lex, Steve, Am, Joshua, Alex, the trans girl, Yadiel, and Julie, who are so smooth that we should really consider using them as our go-to analogies whenever the world is ready to move on from comparing shit to the asses of infants. Together, these 25 foxy freethinkers four win a fistful of their fortune this week to fund the furtherance of our fulminations against faith by giving us money.

Not everybody has the money it takes to give us money, but if you do, you can make a per-episode donation at patreon.com slash scathingatheist, whereby you'll earn early access to an extended ad-free version of every episode. Or you can make a one-time donation by clicking on the donate button on the right side of the homepage at scathingatheist.com. Legal services for this podcast are provided by the offices of P. Andrew Tuarez, Tim Robertson Handles on social media, and our audio engineer is Morgan Clark. We'll also read all the music that was used in this episode, which was used with permission. If you have questions, comments, or death threats, you'll find all the contact info on the contact page at ScathingAtheist.com.

Oh, Lee Bennett Hopkins Award winner, Lee Rosenberg. That's cool. Do you want to do that again and get your mom's name right? I do, but get my name right. I do want to get my mom's name right. That's okay. Yes, yes. The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle and a Thunderstorm LLC.

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