The Scathing Atheist - 532: Pride Piper Edition

Episode Date: April 27, 2023

In this week’s episode, Christianity puts the “mass” in mass grave, we learn that Clarence Thomas is friends with a nazi...other than his wife...another one, and Don Ford will learn that he memorized that Pulp Fiction monologue for nothing. --- Come see us live in Detroit on July 22nd: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/god-awful-movies-live-in-detroit-tickets-617420751087 To make a per episode donation at Patreon.com, click here: http://www.patreon.com/ScathingAtheist To buy our book, click there: https://www.amazon.com/Outbreak-Crisis-Religion-Ruined-Pandemic/dp/B08L2HSVS8/ To check out our sister show, The Skepticrat, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/the-skepticrat To check out our sister show’s hot friend, God Awful Movies, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/god-awful-movies To check out our half-sister show, Citation Needed, click here: http://citationpod.com/ To check out our sister show’s sister show, D and D minus, click here: https://danddminus.libsyn.com/ To hear more from our intrepid audio engineer Morgan Clarke, click here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/ --- Guest Link: Check out Chloe’s (adorable) YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCgiC3mhE_l5XOfz9DXDI8Mg Headlines: Kenyan Christians die after being told to starve themselves to meet Jesus: https://www.reuters.com/world/africa/kenya-police-begin-exhuming-remains-suspected-christian-cult-graves-2023-04-21/ Clarence Thomas’s Billionaire Benefactor Collects Hitler Artifacts: https://www.washingtonian.com/2023/04/07/clarence-thomass-billionaire-benefactor-collects-hitler-artifacts/ Missouri AG Removes Trans Health Care Tip Line After 'Hack': https://www.riverfronttimes.com/news/missouri-ag-removes-trans-health-care-tip-line-after-hack-39907011 DeSantis threatens Disney with building a prison next door to them: https://www.orlandosentinel.com/opinion/scott-maxwell-commentary/os-op-desantis-threatens-disney-prison-scott-maxwell-20230418-fkn5o5qa4bdjbfdjwrbbz4stji-story.html Catholic Judge donated tens of thousands of dollars to archdiocese he kept ruling in favor of: https://www.pbs.org/newshour/nation/catholic-bankruptcy-case-rulings-clouded-by-judges-donations Documentarian issues $1 million challenge to British Museum to recreate Shroud of Turin: https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/apr/17/the-1m-challenge-if-the-turin-shroud-is-a-forgery-show-how-it-was-done --- This Week in Misogyny: Ohio GOP changing rules about referendums to block abortion access (and democracy): https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/ohio-republicans-try-to-change-rules-to-defeat-abortion-rights-amendment/ar-AA1acgPH Iowa will no longer fund emergency contraception for rape victims: https://apnews.com/article/iowa-rape-victims-contraception-funding-41ad066f0831961eeec57a676b4a67d6 Report: More than half of SC abortions are from out of state: https://www.thestate.com/news/politics-government/article274553226.html

Warning, this podcast is so not safe for work, it should probably come with an OSHA label. This week's episode of The Scathing Atheist is brought to you by HelloFresh, and by the ebullience that we feel knowing we currently have a larger media platform than Tucker Carlson. And now, The Scathing Atheist. Hi, my name is Chloe. My YouTube channel is called Chloe Loves Arts. We did indeed evolve from filthy monkey men. Can I come out of the cupboard now? No, not until you can get a job. It's Thursday.

It's April 27th. And it's Morse Code Day. Yeah, that is the long and the short of it, yes. I'm no illusions. I'm Eli Bosnick. I'm Heath Enright. And from Jared Kushner's New Jersey, Ann Arbor, Michigan, and Waycross, Georgia, this is The Scathing Atheist. On this week's episode, Christianity once again puts the mass in mass grave.

We learn that Clarence Thomas is friends with a Nazi, other than his wife, another one. Different Nazi. And Don Ford will learn that he memorized the Pulp Fiction monologue for nothing. But first, the diatribe. At first, I genuinely thought that I wasn't going to yell at the Bible thumpers. It's not that they didn't deserve to be yelled at. It's more that I thought I'd kind of already dunked on them hard enough,

but they kept deserving to be yelled at more and more, and people kept not yelling at them, and eventually I had no choice but to oblige. So let me back up a little bit. Last month, a listener reached out to me to tell me that they were involved in organizing a pride event in a small town that's about an hour from where I live and asked if I'd like to come. And of course I would. Pride events in small towns in South Georgia need all the support they can get. And it just so happened it was on a Saturday afternoon that I had free anyway. So last weekend, Lucinda and i loaded up we headed to south georgia pride second annual music and arts on maine and hey hyra georgia and of course we're there for well we're actually we're there for about negative 30 seconds before

we're harassed by some asshole christian giving out y'all are gonna burn in hell literature and denouncing everyone there as sinners there's two of them there's these two guys both in their 20s and they're set up at the gate that everybody has to walk through to get to the park where the event is being held. So first I get Beavis, right? As I'm walking up, he sidles up beside me, draws my attention to this pamphlet that just says, God is love on the front of it. And I guess this is his icebreaker. He's like, hey, hey, can I ask you what you think of the phrase God is love? And I laugh a little because I should

probably come with some kind of FDA warning label or something for these people, but I don't. So I'm just like, well, I think it's silly. So he's like, can I ask you why you think it's silly? And I answer back. I was like, because love is real and God is imaginary. But he's undeterred. He says, can I ask you where you think we come from? And I think about it for a second and I say vaginas. That wasn't on his fucking flow chart. So I threw I think about it for a second and I say, vaginas. That wasn't on his fucking flow chart. So I threw him off course for just a second. I was really hoping he was going to say, well, where do those vaginas come from? So I could say it's vaginas all the way down, but he didn't. Instead, he says, well, can I ask you where you think we get our morals? And I'm like, you can ask me anything you want, bro. And I walk off. And to be honest,

I felt pretty good about that interaction. I made fun of him without insulting him. I dismissed him without leaving the impression that I took anything that he was doing remotely seriously. And I distracted him long enough for a couple of people to slip through his fucking bigotry blockade. I felt like I had done my part. So I headed in, I checked out some booths, I met some people, took some pictures, supported some local artists, et cetera. Had a great time. South Georgia Pride did an awesome job. But a little later, I found myself back over by the gate. And i'm talking with this chick who's giving out little rainbow pins to people as they arrive when fucking butthead decides to cut into the conversation now the chick i'm talking to is trans so of course he misgenders her and she corrects him and he does it again and she corrects him and he does it again and very quickly she

finds herself at the spot where she's either gonna cry or punch that dude in the face or both. And that's when I yelled. Because of course, she's there representing the group that's putting on the event. She has a certain level of decorum that she has to maintain, but I don't. Me and decorum don't even have to be on speaking terms by the end of the day so i get to yell now to be honest i kind of wish somebody had recorded the exchange because i yelled pretty good i yelled about his i was stupid fucking book spent more time condemning mixed fibers and shellfish than it did on lgbtq shit and yet he didn't feel the need to protest polyester and red lobster i yelled about how pissed he'd be if south georgia pride sent a couple of people to hand out pamphlets

about the joys of gay sex at the entrance to his church i yelled about how pissed he'd be if South Georgia Pride sent a couple of people to hand out pamphlets about the joys of gay sex at the entrance to his church. I yelled about how there are like fucking three, maybe four days a fucking year when LGBTQ people in Hey, High Road, Georgia can go out and unapologetically be themselves. And he is robbing them of that. And finally, I had to pause long enough to inhale that he got a word in edgewise. And he goes, well, it sounds to me like you're coming from a place of anger. As though that was some kind of fucking rebuttal. But by then I'd taken my breath. I was ready to yell some more.

So I told him he was goddamn right. I was coming from a place of anger. And the fact that he's the only one here that isn't angry isn't some kind of fucking sign of rationality or accuracy. It's a sign that the thing everybody else is angry at is him. You're the one taking a giant shit on the sidewalk, dude. The fact that you're the only one who isn't disgusted by that isn't a sign that there's nothing wrong with it. Now, of course, as this is going on, I'm peripherally aware of the big extended cab pickup trucks rolling coal alongside us, screaming slurs and revving engines as they

drive by. I see all the middle fingers and Trump flags that just can't pass by a rainbow without screaming at it about how gay they aren't. Given the fact that this whole diatribe is LGBTQ themed, I kind of want to avoid any comparison to the Dutch boy with his finger in the dike, but I could feel how feeble my voice was against this avalanche of hatred that it was meant to divert. And I had a brief glimpse of what kind of Goliaths the Davids at groups like South Georgia Pride are really up against. And by then, of course, I'm so pissed I can't think anymore. This is why I don't do debates. I get legitimately angry and fuck you, QED doesn't go over well in a formal setting. But upon reflection in the ongoing argument I kept having with that asshole in my head

for the rest of the day, I wished I'd added one more point. Because the whole justification that he used to tell himself at the end of the day that he wasn't just there to be a bigot is that he was trying to save those sinful souls from an eternity of damnation, right? The whole premise of his sales pitch was that all the LGBTQ people are bound for hell unless he does something about it. And in a sense, that's true. They are going to hell, but it's the hell that he's making every fucking day. It's the hell that he's constructive by actively trying to rob them of such a fundamental human requirement as pride.

It's the hell that he's reinforcing by telling someone that an imaginary being is love, but their relationship with their spouse isn't. It's the hell that he's galvanizing every time he sets aside a whole fucking day to stand out in the sun and remind an oppressed minority that there's no room for them in his conception of paradise. And I wish I'd sent him away with that because even though he wasn't listening to me, he was hearing me. I was too loud loud not to hear and i'd like to think that at least some of my tirade was loud enough to echo in his ears a bit after he left and if i could have left him with any one fucking thing i'd like to have left him with a reminder that he was the only devil there

that day they're talking about you jesus interrupt this broadcast and bring you a special news bulletin. Joining me for headlines tonight are the soup and salad to my breadsticks, Heath Enright and Eli Bosnick. Fellas, are you ready to appetize? Without limits, Noah. Let's do this. I mean, say what you will about Olive Garden, but at least Red Lobster never thought of, what if we just bring you Cheddar Bay biscuits until you leave as a business model?

of what if we just bring you Cheddar Bay biscuits until you leave as a business model? All right. Well, I'm not allowed to comment on how unlimited those breadsticks are until the lawsuit is resolved. So instead, we're going to pause for a word

from this week's sponsor, HelloFresh. And then you jump out and say, by your powers combined. I am Captain Planet. Got it. Yeah. Yeah.

Guys, guys, why is Heath painted blue again? Are you guys shooting Smurf videos? No. No, those cease and desist letters held up in court. We're trying to convince people to be more Earth friendly and sign up for HelloFresh. Wait a second. With HelloFresh, you get farm fresh pre-portioned ingredients and seasonal recipes delivered right to your doorstep.

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recycle the bags that held the ice that kept the food cool. Sure could. All right, Heath, I'm sold. Where do I sign up? Just go to HelloFresh.com slash scathing 50 and use the code scathing 50 for 50% off plus your first box ships free. Wait, so I go to HelloFresh.com slash Scathing50 and use the code Scathing50 for 50% off plus my first box, ships free? That's right. Awesome. Looks like I am Captain Planet after all. They had an episode

where the bad guys tell everyone that Neil Patrick Harris has AIDS. That can't possibly be true. No, it is. Look it up. What? Weird. HelloFresh is delicious, true. No, it is. Look it up. What? Weird. HelloFresh is delicious, though. They got it, man.

They got it. And now, back to the headlines. In our lead story tonight, we have a mass grave. So, you know, I'll do apologies for starting on something so fucking dark. But when religious faith directly leads nearly 100 people to intentionally starve themselves to death, we're sort of contractually obligated to talk about it. And that is precisely what happened in Kenya, where members of the Good News International Church were told that they could get a fast pass to heaven by starving themselves to death. And a disturbingly high number of them took Jesus up on the offer. Now, granted, a disturbingly high number would be anything above zero,

but in this case, the number appears to be, at least at the time of this recording, 89. Yes. Yeah. We also had 89 people who apparently have a Google alert for Mass Grave Christian Church and sent us an email about the story.

So, good job. Scathingnews.gmail.com if you got a good one. Yeah. Well, that is because they know by sending us news to scathingnews.gmail.com, they enter themselves in a contest

to win three tickets to the long foreclosed Great Park Adventure in Brookhaven, South Carolina. Guys, I have this super depressing story to talk about. Scathingnews at gmail.com, everybody. So, yeah. So, truly one of the most disturbing stories we've ever had to cover on this show.

This is allegedly, at least technically, the work of one Paul Nthenge McKenzie, a reverend and prolific murderer, alleged murderer, near the coastal city of Malindi. He was arrested last Thursday after a tip-off alerted authorities to shallow graves containing the remains of at least 31 of his followers. They began exhuming bodies on Friday, and as of Wednesday, the official death toll was sitting at 89. I should point out, though, that when police raided the church, they found a bunch of people who were in the process of starving themselves, and though those people were immediately rushed to the nearest hospital hospital there's a solid chance that the death toll still

is going to tick up a little bit more as we're learning about this one oh just janet reno at the front gate with a tank already done oh it's already done all right good school just i'm ready whenever though because you know right i got this i was right back in the day too just to be clear she was she was right now it's also worth noting here that that this isn't the first time that mckenzie has been arrested over the deaths of his parishioners hell this isn't even the first time it happened this year apparently he was arrested and released last month for encouraging the parents of two boys to starve and suffocate their children to death now in that instance he insisted that he was unaware of the two boys

deaths and he convinced police that he was the target of hostile propaganda from former colleagues. But given the number of both witnesses and victims in this case, it's damn unlikely that he's going to be able to pull off that trick again. Though, we're talking about a guy who managed to convince people to starve themselves

and their kids to death, so who the fuck knows what the limits of his persuasiveness are? I mean, he's welcome to test his mutant powers on me in an axe handle. I'm feeling pretty good about my anti-magic these days. Yeah.

And look, a lot of Christians would love to pretend that this has nothing to do with them. After all, they'd argue if some atheist podcast 7,000 miles away did some evil shit

in the name of atheist podcasting, we'd hardly feel responsible for it. But the difference here is that the very worldview that's required to be Christian also by necessity creates these opportunities for sociopaths. Exactly. That's not true with a scientific worldview, right? Like a worldview that appeals only to reality can be corrected with objective, observable facts. That is not true of religion. Like when it comes to the questions of how to get into heaven, starving yourself at the behest of Paul McKenzie

is exactly tied in terms of evidence, at least with every other claim. And until God himself starts showing up to clarify when folks get it wrong, there's no way to promote the concept of heaven without leaving the door to this kind of shit wide open let's give god a second let's give him a second to come back got anything air time on the show we'll pause equal time nothing okay and in christian reich news we have a story about

clarence thomas and a literal billionaire neo-Nazi. Most listeners have probably already heard about Clarence Thomas being flagged for potential enormous ethics violations after it came to light that he and his treasonous wife, Ginny, were secretly receiving lavish gifts from GOP mega-donor Harlan Crow, including free trips on his private plane and private yacht. Well, apparently that was just the positive spin from thomas and his pr team because we learned last week that harlan crowe is also an avid collector of nazi memorabilia like avid like you know how some people collect medium amounts of nazi memorabilia not reasonable and totally cool like that so much worse so so the racist billionaire

from the american south's last name is crow yep really increasingly lazy season eight writers of whatever tv show we're definitely ancillary characters in at this point come on guys i'm starting to think clarence thomas doesn't know he's black and I'm worried for his safety. So Harlan Crowe, who looks like his name is Harlan Crowe, is a billionaire real estate developer from Texas who looks like a billionaire real estate developer from Texas. He does. Who looks like he owns a large collection of Nazi memorabilia. And he does. He looks like and is all of those things.

Side note, I asked ChatGPT to tell me about Harlan Crowe just for fun, and it kept referring to him as Joe Ricketts. Really? Not clear on why, but somehow it just makes sense. I think it works, right? Yeah. Also, when you Google image him, you get a bunch of these weird professional headshots. He very obviously took in his volcano lair to try to look less like a supervillain, but it does not work. Nope. It looks like he's having a heart-to-heart

with a henchman about abusing the trapdoor. So apparently Harlan Crowe often has very large Nazi Gatsby parties at his mansion. And after the big national news came out regarding the connection to Clarence Thomas, several people finally decided toika branded linens, and a signed copy of Mein Kampf. But the way that the mustache smears the lipstick above the kiss is kind of cute, though, you got to admit. Yeah, sure. Credit where credit's due. So apparently we already knew about this whole thing since at least 2014, but I hadn't heard myself about anything regarding Harlan Crowe. That year in 2014, the Dallas Morning News did a public tour of historic homes that included a stop at Harlan Crowe's house.

And right away, the reporter was like, hey, man, front yard is full of statues of Lenin, Stalin, Ceausescu, and Tito. What the fuck? And Harlan Crowe is like, I have stuff from Christopher Columbus, who is not problematic at all. Let's look at the Christopher Columbus stuff. And then they walked past a bunch of swastika stuff, and they had, I'm assuming, the exact same exchange again. Right. bunch of swastika stuff and they had i'm assuming the exact same exchange again right yeah but but his obsession with history's worst people definitely explains why he's so into clarence thomas at least sure right it's weird that he asked me to put my used tissue on this display case under glass

for later it's probably fine so according to joey ricketts He collects all that stuff Because he hates communism and fascism Which are different Just a reminder He's one of the largest donors to the Republican Party Of right now And he claims to hate fascism And that includes money that he gave To help Clarence Thomas get a seat on the court

In the first place And ever since Clarence Thomas Has been doing his best to do things like prevent campaign finance reform and make rich people get richer and prevent people of color from voting. Thomas is black, by the way. It's easy to miss that, but he is. He missed that. And of course, most recently, Clarence Thomas has been on a Christian right crusade to remove bodily autonomy from half the U.s population maybe being friends with the billionaire swastika enthusiast was just a coincidence though it's it's hard to say it's

hard to say could be a coincidence bottom line if we have any patreon donors who happen to collect nazi memorabilia quick thing want you to stop listening right now and stop giving us money and uh go ahead and load up one bullet into your antique luger that you have and do the right thing you know you know what to do what level donor are okay okay well good question i mean let us know figure it out and in political hacktivism news missouri attorney general and man whose mouth appears to be trying to politely distance itself from his face Andrew Bailey has removed an online tip line he created for reporting transgender health care concerns after cool people with amazing genitals not only flooded the line with false reports it's good work but may have hacked the reporting system itself yeah now it just plays matt walsh's porn

history it's weird i don't know well but but the alternate and more likely explanation on the hacking aspect is that andrew bailey ag of our 18th biggest state doesn't know what the word hacking means right which is by far the more likely which is amazing it really is amazing yeah so here's the story abales has been he doesn't get a nickname absolutely not all right fair no fair it's a good one though andrew bailey has been on something of an anti-trans kick the last couple of months after a so-called whistleblower wrote an article accusing washington university's transgender center at st louis children's hospital of i't know, cutting trans kids up and turning them into Frankenstein monsters. That's how real this fucking article was.

And I want to be clear that the claims in that article are as spurious as they are idiotic. It calls vetted drugs with well-proven uses experimental. It implies that some children are being given gender affirming medication against their will. And I, along with a lot of other people smarter than me, highly doubt the credentials and motivations of its author. So take that as you will. But that's not why the article was written. It was written to whip up idiots like Andrew Bailey into a tizzy. And in that sense, it worked like a charm. So along with launching a multi-agency task force to look into those lies he read and issuing an

emergency rule that will remove most Missourians' access to gender-affirming care starting next Thursday, Bailey also created a tip line where Missourians could report quote illegal or abusive behavior and quote related to gender transition procedures which again is all of them because he just made it illegal hello hotline yeah i'm looking at a student dressed as a cat taking a shit uh or it's a cat taking a shit you better better come down to my basement, check it out, send your task force. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like a fascist tip line for transphobes about abusive behavior related to gender transition procedures should just auto complete self in the abuser line. Yeah, for sure. But as I said, all hope was not lost.

Because according to the Riverfront Times, earnest and concerned citizens reported very real and very accurate trans crimes this month, like having their skin stolen and suspecting that their dog was trans. Yes, because it was acting unladylike. Yeah, making the snitch line useless. And after having a nice little public fit about how we weren't playing fair with his murder of children, Andrew Bailey shut it down. Yeah, so apropos of nothing, fun new game in my life. I make a call using a kidnapper voice modulator, and I see how many of Buffalo Bill's lines from Silence of the Lambs I can recite before they hang up on me. Like, not this hotline, though, or other ones like it, because those are very serious. Just, you know, calling friends.

I do it with you a lot of times. Yeah, obviously. It's a fun thing you can do just above nothing. All I'm saying is that if the good guys can win this shit with Prank Wars, we might just come out of this okay. Right? Mm-hmm. So, yeah, great job to those pranksters, obviously, legally reporting very serious concerns. But hey, just because the tip line is down, do not let trans people, dogs, and skin stealers

get away with their crimes. Andrew Bailey's office still has a phone, and I'm sure he would love to hear from you about trans crimes that he can follow up on. But of course, only do it in very legal and very serious ways. Maybe a couple times a day. You can also write to them. Yeah, his phone number is public. And now that we have our marching orders, we're going to take a quick break,

but we'll hand things over to my lovely wife, Lucyn. A man wrote the Bible. A whore is what she was. If it's a legitimate rape. If it's a slut, right? Cooking can it's democracy. Of course, for literally centuries, they pretended that representative democracy was some kind of sacrosanct obligation that was woven into the very fabric of what it meant to be an American. And then the majority of voters weren't cishet white guys anymore,

so they changed their fucking minds. And that panicked retreat from majority rule is, if anything, the defining act of the past decade of American politics. And if you'd like an example of that movement in action, let me draw your attention to ohio where the state's republican party is trying to amend the requirements of ballot initiatives so that it would take a super majority to pass a referendum instead of the simple majority that's been enough for ohioans for the last 111 years and why the sudden change of heart well because abortion of course see later this year oh Ohio voters will go to the polls to decide if the right to an abortion should be enshrined in the state's constitution. And that's a vote that abortion is almost certain to win. But rather than amend their policies to be more appealing to the majority of their constituents or even just admit defeat, they want to change the rules.

They want to change it so that constitutional amendments need to earn 60% of the vote to pass. And even though many of the Republicans backing this change won't just come out and admit that it's because of the abortion thing, I guarantee you that if 65% of the state favored the measure, they'd raise the bar to two-thirds. And it's no wonder why they're having to do this shit. For decades, Republicans used their opposition to abortion as a rallying cry, and it reliably drew their base to the polls. But now people are actually starting to get a look at the post-Roe world, and they're rightly terrified of it. I mean, look at Iowa, where the Attorney General's office just announced it would suspend the practice of paying for emergency contraception for victims of sexual assault. And that was the policy for 10 terms under the

democratic ag tom miller but he got replaced by a republican in november and since they're stuck pretending that emergency contraception is abortion she decided to suspend that practice while her office reviews the policy because if there's one thing that pregnant rape victims have it's time for a state bureaucracy to do thorough policy reviews. And now, to be clear, to the extent that Iowa was kicking out money for this shit, it was almost always for Plan B, which is not abort-efficient, no matter what the people who own Hobby Lobby think. But in rare circumstances, the state did pay for abortions from a victim's fund that is collected from criminal fines.

And while state law does require the state to pay for shit like medical examinations and treatments to prevent venereal disease, it was only common decency that had them paying to mitigate pregnancy risk. And of course, common decency is in short supply among Iowa Republicans. But it's worth emphasizing that it isn't just the states with the most regressive politics that suffer. I mean, the recent court battle over Mipha Preston is a stark reminder that in a post-Roe world, one underqualified judge might be all it takes to remove the rights of a whole nation's worth of people. But that's not

the only problem. Just look at a state like South Carolina. See, in South Carolina, they tried to pass a six-week abortion ban, but it was blocked. And with Georgia and Florida and Tennessee in a competition to see which one could be the most fascist with reproductive rights, very quickly, South Carolina became something of a haven for people in the Southeast who needed abortions. Well, because of that, abortions are on the rise in that state. And according to new data from the South Carolina Department of Health and Environmental Control, more than half of them are people coming from out of state. And look, I know that in the grand scheme of reasons all Americans should have access to abortion services,

the strain bad laws put on the health care infrastructure of neighboring states is pretty low. But when you spend your time trying to get white dudes to care about feminist issues, you learn pretty quick that some people don't give a fuck about anything until it affects them. So I figure it's still worth pointing out anyway quick before i accidentally insult the majority of the show's listenership again i suppose i should wrap things up and hand you back over

to noah heath and eli thank you lucinda next up in headlines in tragic kingdom news we have a story about florida and of course about Ron DeSantis. In case anyone missed it, he's been having a feud with the Disney Corporation ever since they called him a bigot for being a bigot. Mostly because his entire platform

is homophobia and transphobia and hypocritical race theory. And they tricked him with a contract that lets them do whatever the fuck they want as long as the House of Windsor continues existing and most importantly disney stopped writing him campaign checks so in the latest gambit from desantis he threatened the beloved children's entertainment company by claiming he might put up a prison right next to their property in orlando

i feel like the disney prison would be pretty awesome though, right? Oh, absolutely. And the sentences would be shorter than the wait for Space Mountain. So, you know, sing, sing of the South. So DeSantis made the absurd threat during a press conference last week that was apparently just for talking about his Disney feud. He had a dedicated press conference just for that. And here's the exact words we got from,

just to remind you, the alumnus of Harvard and Yale. Quote. And so, you know, it's like, okay. It's, I mean, people have said, you know, maybe have another, maybe create a state park, maybe try to do more amusement parks. Someone even said, like, maybe you need another state prison. Who knows?

I mean, I just think that the possibilities are are are are endless. End exact quote. Seriously. Yeah, that's the guy. End exact quote, seriously. Yeah, that's the guy, that's the guy that the Never Trumpers are hanging their hopes on. And look, I get that Disney is the world's second largest media company,

but you have to consider the optics. $200 billion market cap or no, it still looks like you're in a fight with a cartoon character. Yep. Right, and you're losing. Losing a lot. Correct.

It's like Ron DeSantis has announced he's going to use a time machine to box Muhammad Ali in his prime. And now he's like doing press conferences being like,

maybe I won't even wear boxing gloves. Boom. Odds are evening up now, aren't they? Yeah. Definitely do that. So,

in addition to potentially building a prison right next to the state's biggest tourist attraction, DeSantis had another way of serving the people of Florida. He also threatened to impose safety standards for the rides at the amusement park. That was his threat.

So, I've never been to Disney World, Disneyland, and I absolutely won't be doing either of those things. Yes, you will. Of yes you will barring a chloroform based prank by eli that he's been talking about for a while but normally i won't be doing that but i have to assume that disney is okay with not maiming kids in the magic kingdom because of safety standards they're probably fine with it so again ronnie d is an idiot well i know a certain aerosmith themed roller coaster that might beg

to differ on the maiming, but I think even it would agree on DeSantis' idiothood. Oh, did they fuck up some kids one time? Now, to be fair, we don't know what Ronnie means by safety standards. For all we know, he's measuring them for gayness.

There's some real issues there. He's not allowed to even talk about that, though, technically. So in response to another big stupid moment in the Disney feud, the Republican establishment is already starting

to distance itself from DeSantis. In part because they don't like regulations about, you know, any things ever. Like, for example, communist safety regulations

about not hurting kids on giant metal death machines. And notably, DeSantis recently lost a bunch of billionaire GOP donors who seem to have realized that anti-choice Christian zealotry might fuck up their chances of getting back into the White House. Well, yeah, and still others turned to Trump in the fear that insufficient anti-choice Christian zealotry could fuck it up. So they've got him coming and going. That's tricky. Meanwhile, Joe Biden's like, I want to be president more.

And we're like, oh, fine. It's fine. Yes. I got those click-click balls on my desk. Yeah, man. Yeah. Got it. And in Judge Not News, when we talk about the catholic child sex abuse scandal there's a

tendency to focus entirely on the abusers and the enablers inside the church that helped cover it up so much so that we often forget to focus on the enablers outside the church that also helped cover it up the cops the prosecutors the politicians the, the judges, the reporters, given the scale of the abuse in many cities, the whole goddamn structure of the government had to be involved in some way or another. And because that's so overlooked historically, we often fail to apply the appropriate scrutiny to those enablers in the present day. To wit, the AP reported that a federal judge in Louisiana who has been overseeing the bankruptcy proceedings for the New Orleans Archdiocese has, over the last couple of years, donated tens of thousands of dollars to said archdiocese. Yep. And while we're listing enablers, let's not forget how the New Orleans Saints of the NFL had their PR team do some pro bono pedophile spinning to help out that diocese.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. But to be fair, Noah, who knew more about how bad their wallet was being hit than the guy doing the click clack with the hammer thing, right? Like he was probably- No, intimately involved. So upon the Associated Press's reporting about this judge, Greg Guidry got together with the relevant attorneys and said that his charitable giving, and these are the words that he used on the fucking call, apparently, quote, has been brought to my attention, end quote. What?

Yeah, as though he had just given tens of thousands of dollars to the archdiocese while blackout drunk and didn't know about it until he read about it in the paper. Oh, the New Orleans archdiocese while blackout drunk and didn't know about it until he read about it in the paper. Oh, the New Orleans archdiocese. Like, like the city we're in, the name of the little city.

Yeah. I forgot about that. He also said, quote, I will take no further action in this case until this question has been resolved,

end quote, which sounds good until you consider that he's implying that there may be some resolution where he will take further action in this case, as though there's any situation that he's implying that there may be some resolution where he will take further action in this case.

As though there's any situation where he's not ethically obligated to recuse. If you think about it, I was donating to the victims. Like, I knew the diocese had a bunch of victims, and I was helping them. The victims should recuse if anybody should have to recuse. It'd be the victims. I saw a demand for rape hush money and i was supplying what are you commies yeah you're commies you sound like visible hands of the market

no and and look i need to emphasize just how galling this conflict of interest is gidry has been on the federal bench since 2019 in that time he's donated at least fifty thousand dollars to the new orleans archdioe, and at least $36,000 of that came since he'd been overseeing their bankruptcy case. He also provided pro bono services to the Archdiocese and served as a board member for their charity arm from 2000 to 2008. And over the course of the case, which was, of course, prompted by hundreds and hundreds of sex abuse victims seeking compensation, Guidry has repeatedly sided with the archdiocese in a way the AP describes as altering the momentum of the case. This included removing troublesome members from a committee of victims, decreasing transparency and upholding a four hundred thousand dollar penalty against one of the victim's attorneys.

After he violated the confidentiality order by warning a school they had just hired a priest who had admitted to sexually abusing children. You know what, Father McCleary? Why don't you come spend the rest of the trial up here on my lap so everyone thinks twice about being rude to you in my courtroom. There you go. Sit on in, buddy. And finally tonight, we have some extremely important new evidence

regarding the Shroud of Turin. No, we don't. Not at all. According to very clear science, the Shroud is from the Middle Ages, and therefore definitely not the burial Shroud of Jesus Christ as the church wants us to believe. But according to filmmaker David Rolfe, the piece of cloth that has an imprint that vaguely resembles the white guy painting version of Jesus was definitely the shroud that was wrapped around the Middle Eastern guy after he got crucified. And last week, Mr. Rolfe issued a challenge to the British Museum claiming that if the shroud is really from the Middle Ages, they should be able to recreate an

equally good forgery now. And if the museum wins the challenge, he'll give them $1 million. This is such a stupid fucking challenge. Like, if this was anything more than a publicity stunt for his upcoming movie, he'd issue the challenge to anyone, right? Or at the very least, some person or organization that does this kind of shit, right?

The British Museum doesn't make fake fucking shrouds. This would be like saying breakdancing is impossible and then challenging Heath and only Heath to prove you wrong. I could still win, though. Yeah, I believe in you. Also, not for nothing, but like there have been several shroud of Turin forgeries over the years. And that's how they found out the origins of the real one. It's like me being like, you show me one Britney Spears impersonator and I'll believe she exists. But the British Museum has to show her too.

Okay. So quick background on the Shroud for anyone who's not familiar. It's fake. That's pretty much all you need to know. I mean, it's a much all you need to know. I mean, it's a real piece of cloth, but it's clearly from the 13th or 14th century. We know this for a bunch of reasons, but ever since the shroud was discovered, the Vatican's been trying to claim it's a photo negative of Jesus Christ himself caused by,

I guess, a giant beam of light from a cosmic Xerox machine that got shot down from heaven to wake up Jesus and resurrect him. And that's how the Shroud got his image on it. But in recent years, we have science to check on things. That includes radiocarbon dating to figure out the age of an object. In 1988, independent tests by the University of Oxford, the University of Arizona, and the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology all came up with the same answer. They all concluded with 95% confidence that it's from 1260 to 1390 CE. So you're saying there's a chance. No, no. No. That would also mean nearly 100% confidence that it's not from 33 CE when Jesus allegedly died. Right. And just for the record, the documented history of the shroud starts in 1354, right in the middle of their range.

Yeah. Well, I mean, even just that fact without any carbon dating effectively disproves its authenticity. Right. Because where the fuck was it for the other 1320 years? It was somebody forgot it in their fucking closet. That actually is the story.

I got to bring that to the church. Will you remind me? I'm going to do it. I've been meaning to do that for centuries. You know, I put it in my will so that, you know, an ancestor will bring it.

Perfect. I've got the goodwill bags and I've got the Shroud of Turin. I'm going to do them both on the same day. I just need to wait. I have a question that's always bothered me about the Shroud of Turin, which is, I feel like you don't get to just add non-biblical miracles to pieces of cloth that were lying around. Right?

Like, oh, no. Yeah. The book doesn't mention it but jesus did some print making before he rose from the dead it was a little little keepsake for mother's day right so carbon dating by three different expert laboratories pretty fucking clear but my favorite extra debunking of the shroud was from professional skeptic Joe Nickel in 1998. He looked at the weave of the material and he pointed out that it's clearly made in a pattern called the herringbone weave. And that was not a thing in the time of Jesus. Really? Every single burial cloth we have

from the Jesus era is made with a plain weave. Just wasn't a thing. Maybe they did something special for the son of God, Joe. You don't know Joe. Son of God. Yeah. So naturally, when skeptical nerds tell an entire religion their stupid relic is fake, you get a constant stream of panicky, flailing arguments in response. And David Rolfe made a career out of that flailing in the film business. He made a so-called documentary about the shroud in 1978

and then again in 2008. And just last week, he released a third one called Who Can He Be? With his latest exact same arguments. Latest is a stupid way to say it. It's the exact same stuff. So Gam Docket noted, according to Ralph, first of all, carbon is a Ponzi scheme.

Also, if you blow carbon monoxide all over a sheet, it can change the results of carbon dating that sheet. Also, somebody probably added 14th century linen into the shroud at some point. Why? Just added it. So, no. Yeah. into the shroud at some point. Well, I would just add to this. Yeah.

So just to be clear about this narrative, he's claiming that some Italian priest in like 1354 was like, guys, guys, regional managers coming by. We got to use this thing up a little bit. Right. Yeah, right. So dust it off,

run it through the wash on gentle with a bunch of carbon monoxide, to be clear, when I talked about the wash. And then smush some modern linen into the old linen to make it look all squared away and sharp for that inspection. Seriously, that just now, what I described, is a compilation of the best theories from Christian apologists about this.

Yeah, the one that prompted the million pound challenge. Look, he's saying that it's a real shroud with fake parts and they only tested the fake parts. I can't believe you were even allowed to say that. No, I get it. Because you know what? Mary Magdalene, she was hiding Jesus's shroud at the bottom of the

hamper or in a drawer he never uses so she could throw it out when he doesn't notice and then he did notice. My wife does it with my t-shirts. i get the first one i like to wear out of the wash of all the burials thank you better wife getting back to the big wager david ralph clearly just wanted attention for his movie so he challenged the british museum to a million dollar fight like he's fucking jake paul and the british museum responded

with absolutely nothing which is the correct answer i'm certain they could easily make another vaguely stained sheet but that's irrelevant like even if they couldn't do that the next logical step is not that white jesus rose from the dead tiptoed out of a cave and left behind a sheet as a fun clue about how he's the son of God. And then never came back for 2,000 years just to build the moment about that sheet. No, none of that. Nope.

And I guess now that we know what the opposite of shrouded in mystery is, we can close the headlines for the night. Heath, Eli, thanks as always. Do manji. And when we come back, Don Bortles snuck back into the studio once again. Hey, podcast listener.

I'm Eli Bosnick. I'm Noah Lusions. And I'm Heath Enright, here to talk to you about a very serious medical condition. AIDS. Nope. No, I'm talking about slowpoke syndrome. That's right, Heath. Slowpoke syndrome.

Sure, you heard about our live show in Detroit on July 22nd, and you meant to get yourself some Platinum Night tickets, but you were too slow. You stupid motherfucker. Eli, Eli, bring it in. Yep. No, that's fair. Well, now there's Iridium Night. It's the same experience of hanging out with us at Platinum Night,

but it's on Thursday. So that being slow doesn't mean you miss out. And hey, why not grab a regular ticket as well? We've only got about 100 of those left too. So head to godawfulmovieslive.com and get your tickets while you can. Because being slow doesn't mean you've missed the magic. Doug Henning also had AIDS. What is it with you today? Seriously?

You said magic. Just bringing the vibe down. You are. And then they let me go. Dude, that sucks. I'm sorry you lost your job, Don Yeah, man, really sorry Well, thanks, guys

I think I'll be okay, but, you know How much do you want for your son? Way too soon, really? No, no, no, no It's a fair question, let him ask Hey, guys Are you ready for Bible Peace Theater? Oh, you mean the part of the podcast

Where we act out the Bible So that people don't have to read it? I sure am Where were we? Well, actually, technically Next up would be Lamentations Oh, you mean the part of the podcast where we act out the Bible so that people don't have to read it? I sure am. Where were we? Well, actually, technically, next up would be Lamentations, but we should skip those. What? I heard those are like super good poems.

Where did you hear that? I don't know. Around. Aren't they good? Don, would you mind summarizing the first of the Lamentations for us? Yeah, sure. No problem. they good don would you mind summarizing the first of the lamentations for us yeah sure no problem oh jerusalem you are like a whore you have shit on your skirt and your enemies have grabbed you by the hoo-ha okay so not good poems but they're cool right aren't they acrostic keenus what the hell is an acrostic kina yeah i don't know but

i think i heard him order that at a vegan restaurant once maybe it's that no no no i read about it online the lamentations each have 22 verses corresponding to the 22 letters of the hebrew alphabet and the first lines begin with the first letter of the alphabet and the second with the second letter etc and akina is second with the second letter, etc. And Akina is three stresses followed by two, right? Some people call that the foundation of iambic pentameter. So it's like holy symmetry, right?

Okay, first of all, that's only chapters one, two, and four. Not all the verses even have the same number of lines. And the fifth chapter isn't Akina. So at most, God put like like 25 effort into his holy symmetry yeah exactly and i just asked chat gpt to write an acrostic kina about how zip lining is stupid and it did it in like four seconds so if you could not actively replace us while we're doing our jobs

that'd be great done hey okay fine fine Okay, fine, fine. We'll skip Lamentations. What's after Lamentations? Ezekiel. Excuse me, hi? Baruch, what are you doing outside of the swoosh? Who's this guy? He was the scribe from the last book. Okay, what's he doing outside of the swoosh? Hi, yeah, I just wanted to point out

that a lot of biblical scholars still think my book, Book of Baruch, should be biblical canon. We are not doing Apocrypha, Baruch. Besides, your book is literally just a letter from Jeremiah about how sinful people are. I also have a section about wisdom. Written by? Jeremiah. Exactly.

Now, back into this swoosh. You're way too meta to be worth it. I am? It's confusing. Yeah, I don't really like it. I don't like it at all. Fine, fine. I'm going, going.

Anyway, Ezekiel is the next canonical book, and he picks up right where we left off in Jeremiah. Jerusalem has been destroyed. Again. Yep. Thanks to the Jerusalem has been destroyed. Again. Yep. Thanks to the Jews' disobedience. Again. Yes.

Thank you, Heath. When Ezekiel is called by God. People of Jerusalem, listen to me, for I am here to tell you of when I saw God. Wow. Okay. Let me hear it. Oh, yeah, man. Like, this great fiery whirlwind

came out of the north. Ooh. Ah. Yeah, out of the mist appeared four creatures that looked like men, and each one had four faces and four wings. Um, how's that like men?

Shh. They sparkled and four wings. Um, how's that like men? Shh! They sparkled and had straight feet with soles like calves' feet, man. Not at all like men. Dude, let him finish. I'm just saying, not at all like men. Well, they all had human hands under their wings on four sides.

Their wings were, like, joined together, and each creature had the face of a man, a lion, an ox, and an eagle. Almost the opposite of men. Well, then their wings were stretched upward and the creatures looked like coals, lamps, fire, and lightning. Okay, now I'm lost too. Oh, and a wheel was on the ground next to the creatures. Oh, we're just moving on from the four-faced not men that look like lamps or whatever? Oh, yeah. And then there was like a wheel within a wheel, man.

That doesn't feel especially worthy of mention. Oh, but the wheels were like super tall and were covered with eyes. Yeah, I had to mention that first. I would have mentioned that. Oh, yeah. And like wherever the creatures went, the wheels went with eyes. Yeah, I had to mention that first. I would have mentioned that. Oh, yeah. And like wherever the creatures went, the wheels went with them, man, because the spirit of the creatures is totally in the wheels.

You guys feel high now, right? Like super high? Like waist down? Very high. Chippy. Oh, yeah. The firmament, the color of a terrible crystal

stretched over their heads, man. That's the sky, right? He's describing the sky. Their wings, they sounded like the voice of God from the firmament. And a man sat on a throne that was above the firmament and I could see his balls and they were like, they were on fire, man. Ooh.

Seriously, he could see his balls And they were on fire That cannot possibly be in the bible Those exact like word for word Dude Such a weird book Weird book yeah Sorry guys

Who the hell is this It's Eli from above the beep I just wanted to step in and say I think we do too much of this bit where I'm like oh is that really in the Bible I think we do it too much in this segment this has become way too meta first of all off-putting

you didn't even do a new voice and second of all a lot of time we use hyperbole or fiction in this segment and this bit clarifies when we're pointing out something that actually is absurd but biblical i'm just saying this i feel like this is why people don't like the segment no no this now is why nobody likes the segment it's too much i mean it's too self-serving exactly okay you guys are

inside the beep so i don't even think you guys know that people don't like the segment no i'm from above the beep too hey i'm back what did i miss oh shit two of them came from above the beep too. Hey, I'm back. What did I miss? Oh, shit. Two of them came from above the beep. I'm the queen of chaos from D&D minus. No, no, you're not. Everybody go back above or below the beep and we're continuing the goddamn story. This is wildly self-referential. Okay.

Fine, fine. I'm going. I'm also going. Should have kept this thing a blog. Ezekiel. Ezekiel, listen to me. You must go to my people and tell them that you are a prophet and I have a message for

them. Okay, Lord, man. Here, eat this scroll. Wait, did you just tell me to eat this scroll? Yeah, yeah. Go ahead. Eat it up, buddy. I mean, okay, man. All right.

So what I want you to do is I want you to tell people that you ate that scroll. And then when you ate it, it was as sweet as honey. It's not, though, man. Can I get some water? All that water. Sorry. Okay. So why am I doing this, man?

It's a metaphor. Right, metaphor. Got it. Okay, let's see. Then God told me to shut myself up in my house, and then he tied me down, and I was lying on one side for 390 days, but then I was only on the other side for 40 days uh sorry and quick thing yeah you got a question man um yeah this seems to have descended into a description of um like a psychotic break maybe oh no man I didn't even tell you guys how much

food and water I was allowed by God yet yeah it just feels like a weird secretary thing with God. See, I was going to say 50 shades. 50 shades is better. Yeah, the kink in secretary is actually pretty healthy. Think about it. I've read that online, but you know, you never want to repeat that stuff because then someone's going to be like, oh, actually, I didn't like it. No, I know.

I know. That's the worst. It's the internet. It's just it's turned everybody into instant enemies about everything. Yeah, that's so true. I know. That's the worst. It's the internet. It's just, it's turned everybody into instant enemies about everything. Yeah. That's so true. Fucking worst. Excuse me.

I'm the one baking bread with shit in it over here. You guys seeing this? Because I asked God if I had to eat my own shit and he told me I could do cow shit instead. Yeah, man. Seems like you should see a doctor. Betterhelp.com, my dude. There you go. That was a freebie, BetterHelp.

You're welcome. Hello, hello, hello. Doing Ezekiel stuff. Ezekiel stuff is my favorite stuff, man. Hey, buddy. What you doing there? Whoa, what's it look like, man? I'm shaving like a third of my head, buddy. What you doing there? Whoa, what's it look like, man? I'm shaving like a third of my head, man.

Are you a bisexual woman? Because I don't think power cards even exist yet. Oh, no, man. I'm doing it because God told me to. I'm going to shave like this third and then cut up a third with a knife. Got it, got it. You sure you don't want to be a bisexual woman? Just do that?

I mean, we can get you an Ani DeFranco CD. Well, I'm going to tie these ones to my pants, man. Okay. All right, let's see. God threats, God threats, God threats. Oh, and then Ezekiel gets visited by God again. Oh, wow, man. It's God's flaming genitals again

Ha! No, no, no, I get that a lot But no, I'm the hand of God Here to give you a little tour Okay, if I carry you by your hair Uh, please no I heard yes, gonna do it No, no way! And we're here, nice

Ow man, that really hurt also were we supposed to stop at wendy's for chili we were not no i'd appreciate it if you didn't mention that to the big guy you know what i'm saying yeah but you like ordered so much man like i'm telling you that you can mention anyway check that out check it out okay what is it is the image of jealousy was seth andrews that's right yeah but he's just so classy man i know i know he like really wants to help people so many people are just like very clearly self-promoting you know but not seth he just wants people to be happy yeah but like what about the voice man oh my god don't even get me started oh yeah anyway come check out this people i really don't want to look in your people ha you wish coney island

no no check it out check it out all the elders of israel are secretly worshiping pagan idols sorry what is this oh it's uh thinly veiled anti-Semitism. Yeah, like super thinly veiled. I can't believe that the Jews are making secret pacts with bad gods. It goes all the way back to the Bible. Yeah, the Jewish part. I think a big part of what we're learning about religion as we make our way through the Bible is that the Bible doesn't believe the Bible. How so?

Well, I mean, the book is full of the Jews losing faith and worshiping other gods. The people who wrote the Bible obviously were dealing with their own crises of faith. And I think one of the ways historically that people dealt with that was to invent mysterious forces working against them that, you know, that aren't their all-powerful god pretty contradictory when you think about it yeah well they're idiots don anyway back to the angel and ezekiel yo ezekiel check it out i'm a wheel covered in eyes yeah man i see that right yeah i feel i feel like you're not impressed though come on man i'm a wheel in a wheel over here right oh yeah no no man i see that i guess it's uh it's just like more trippy than awe-inspiring i guess well fine then uh can we go

back to wendy's man hell yeah we can i'll get my chili bucket i don't think you're supposed to like bring your own bucket oh you sound like the regional manager. And I guess we're just going to pause there with one foot firmly planted in the Bible's weirdest book, but there will be more Ezekiel to come in the next installment of... Bible Peace Theater. Before we sublimate this week, I want to remind you one last time to check the show notes for links to get your tickets to Godawful Movies live in Detroit in July, or just go to GodawfulMoviesLive.com. If not for us, do it for Detroit. Detroit really needs your tourist dollars. Anyway, that's all the blasphemy we've got for you tonight.

We'll be back in 10,022 minutes with more. If you can't wait that long, be on the lookout for a brand new episode of our sister show's hot friend, Godawful Movies, debuting at 7 Eastern on Tuesday, and an even newer episode of our half-sister show Citation Needed debuting at noon Eastern on Wednesday. Obviously this show wouldn't fit into the RSS feed right if I neglected to thank Lucinda Lusions for her giggle, Eli Bostic for his guffaw, and Heath Enright for whatever you call that high squeaky laugh that he does. I want to thank Don Ford for the thousands

of different laughs that I'm sure he can mimic on demand. I also want to thank Rob Donald and everybody at South Georgia Pride for the great time that I had on Saturday. I also want to thank Chloe, Donald, and everybody at South Georgia Pride for the great time that I had on Saturday. I also want to thank Chloe for providing this week's adorable Farnsworth quote. Her YouTube channel, by the way, is Chloe Loves Arts, not Arse, which is definitely what I heard

the first time through, which was super awkward. Be sure to check it out. It's as adorable as it is linked on the show notes for this episode. But most of all, of course, I want to thank this week's best bipeds, John, Zachary, Dustin, Jerome, Karamia, Diva, Sam, and Keith, Silent But Deadly Dutch Oven, Tanya, Chuck, and LokiDokiD bipeds, John, Zachary, Dustin, Jerome, Karamea, Diva, Sam, and Keith, Silent but Deadly Dutch Oven, Tanya, Chuck, and Loki Doki Doodle. John, Zachary, Dustin, and Jerome, who are so sharp,

their intellects have to be careful not to split atoms. Karamea, Diva, Sam, Keith, and Dutch Oven, who are so ripped, they need a full-time seamstress. And Tanya, Chuck, and Loki, who are so badass, they have looped back around to good ass. Together, these 11 people, couples, ovens, and sushi and mouth noises helped us battle gods with our tongues this week by giving us money. Not everybody has the money it takes to give some to us, but if you do, you can make a per-episode donation at patreon.com

slash scathingadius, whereby you'll earn early access to an extended ad-free version of every episode, or you can make a one-time donation by clicking on the donate button on the right side of the homepage at scathingadius.com. And if you'd like to help, but your money is too inflated to fit through the internet tubes, you can also help a ton by leaving a five-star review, telling a friend about the show, and following us on social media. And speaking of social media, Tim Robertson handles that for us, and our audio engineer is Morgan Clark, who also wrote all the music that was used in this episode, which was used

with permission. If you have questions, comments, or death threats, you'll find all the contact info on the contact page at scatheadeus.com. I'm the queen of chaos from Ivoz. I fucking love this so much. This is so good. This is why people like the segment.

The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle and a Thunderstorm LLC. Copyright 2023. All rights reserved.