The Scathing Atheist - 536: TotK TKO Edition

Episode Date: May 25, 2023

In this week’s episode, the omnipotent creator of the universe loses quite a few fans, we learn from Pastors For Trump that the white power of Christ compels us, and we’ll thaw out Don Ford (voice of Fantasy and Adventure) once again. --- To make a per episode donation at Patreon.com, click here: http://www.patreon.com/ScathingAtheist To buy our book, click there: https://www.amazon.com/Outbreak-Crisis-Religion-Ruined-Pandemic/dp/B08L2HSVS8/ To check out our sister show, The Skepticrat, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/the-skepticrat To check out our sister show’s hot friend, God Awful Movies, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/god-awful-movies To check out our half-sister show, Citation Needed, click here: http://citationpod.com/ To check out our sister show’s sister show, D and D minus, click here: https://danddminus.libsyn.com/ To hear more from our intrepid audio engineer Morgan Clarke, click here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/ --- Headlines: Only 50% of Americans offer “definite yes” to god belief: https://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/4012827-does-god-exist-only-half-of-americans-say-a-definite-yes/ Ron DeSantis signs mandatory prayer bill into law: http://religionclause.blogspot.com/2023/05/florida-governor-signs-5-bills-labeled.html British parents win fight to name son Lucifer: https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/parenting/babies/british-parents-win-fight-to-name-son-lucifer/news-story/d13cc4398c250821ab0afb7f22156a0e https://www.wrdw.com/2022/09/23/baby-names-that-are-illegal-around-world/ Christian college fires two profs for putting pronouns in their emails: https://friendlyatheist.substack.com/p/a-christian-school-fired-two-staffers Evil Mermaids, Demons, and Donald — This Pro-Trump Conference Got Real Weird: https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-features/trump-doral-reawaken-america-pastors-mermaids-1234735924/

Warning, this week's episode is not safe for work. So quit, fuck that job anyway. They don't love you like we do. This week's episode of The Scathing Atheist is brought to you by the Herculean effort it took me to stop playing Tears of the Kingdom long enough to record this shit. You're welcome. And now, The Scathing Atheist. Hi, this is Stormy Decisis and I don't have anything to promote.

I just want to tell you all that I hate Ted Cruz. I don't even live in Texas. I just want to tell you all that I hate Ted Cruz. I don't even live in Texas. I just hate Ted Cruz. I hate him so much. If I had three wishes, I would spend them on a time machine, a map to his dad's house, and a vasectomy gun. I just hate Ted Cruz. Oh yeah, and we did in fact evolve from filthy monkey,

guys, gals, and non-binary pals. It's Thursday. It's May 25th. And it's National Tap Dance Day. Ah, if only you'd celebrated more, right? Ooh. I have no illusions. I'm Eli Bosnick. I'm Heath Enright.

And from Marjory Terrell Bosnick's New Jersey, Ann Arbor, Michigan, and Waycross, Georgia, this is The Scathing Atheist. On this week's episode, the omnipotent creator of the universe loses quite a few fans. We learn from pastors for Trump that the white power of Christ compels us. And we'll thaw out Don Ford, voice of fantasy and adventure once again. But first, the diatribe. compels us. And we'll thaw out Don Ford, voice of fantasy and adventure once again. But first, the diatribe. Look, if anybody was ever going to say that the new Zelda game disproves the existence of God,

it was bound to be me anyway. I mean, I told myself not to do a Zelda-related diatribe. I was making references to it for weeks leading up to this release. I took a week off of the show to play it. I've been standing for it constantly for years. And I know a lot of you have to be sick and fucking tired to hear about this video game, but it's also the only thing that I've been doing for the last 12 days. So it kind of would be hard for me to look elsewhere for diatribe inspiration. Plus, it actually does kind of disprove the existence of God. I'll get there. So for those of you who aren't gamers, I need to explain that the new Legend of Zelda

is what's called an open-world game. And what that means is that you don't exactly progress from level one to level two to level three along some set path. Instead, you're given a huge open world to explore that's filled with different challenges and goals, and it's more or less up to you to decide what order to undertake them in. So one of the big draws of the game is exploration, right? I mean, you've got a princess that you're

supposed to rescue and a kingdom you're supposed to save and all that, but you can also spend a ton of time just wandering around in the woods looking for puzzles and power-ups. And what makes this game and its predecessor so fucking good is that their world is so fun to explore. See, open-world gaming is all the rage in the industry right now. Every major AAA release is an open-world game now, it seems, and not always to their benefit. There's also this fucking arms race in terms of the size of the world, which means that every new game has to have a bigger world than the last. And what that means in practice is that a lot of games end up

with these huge worlds with nothing in them. That makes traversing them less like exploration and more like tedium. But in Tears of the Kingdom, the new Zelda game, the world is infinitely rewarding to explore. If you think to yourself, I kind of want to climb all the way to the very top of that mountain, you'll invariably find something at the top of that mountain that made the climb worth it. Right. If you think I want to follow this huge valley all the way to the end of it, you're going to find something at the end of it that makes it worth that trek. The coolness of the location is going to be directly proportional to how difficult it was to get there. Now, compare that to the real world. Right. Like, sure, the view from the top of the mountain is great, but it's not substantially better than the view from 75% up the mountain.

Right? And airplanes have even better views. You don't have to get all sweaty and risk hypothermia to get to them. When you were a kid, the urge to explore the world around you was way more likely to end with a tetanus shot than a worthwhile discovery. worthwhile discovery. Shigeru Miyamoto, the guy who created the original Legend of Zelda back in 1986, he said that his inspiration for the game was trying to recreate the joy

of exploring a field when he was a kid. Now, he was a kid in Kyoto, a place where exploring a field might actually turn up some centuries-old ruins or something, but you were never going to burn just the right bush to discover a secret stairway that was filled with free money. In other words, the instant that

we as a species gained the ability to craft our own worlds, we were making better ones than this. And that's going to sting if you're religious, doesn't it? I mean, granted, God only had seven days for his project and the folks working on Tears of the Kingdom took six fucking years, but I feel like being all-knowing and all-powerful should probably balance that out, no? And yet the seeds of our doubt, the one loose thread that unraveled God-belief for most of the people listening to this show is just what a shit job the world did in terms of planning. What's at the top of the mountain? Blisters. Right?

What's at the end of that canyon? More fucking canyon. In the mystical land of Hyrule, if I help out a stranger, I'm going to mountain? Blisters. Right? What's at the end of that canyon? More fucking canyon. In the mystical land of Hyrule, if I help out a stranger, I'm going to get rewarded for it. Right? I'll find your goats and you'll give me a hundred rupees and some Hylian pine cones or whatever. In the real world, I help out a stranger, they're going to ask for another fucking favor. Right? And I know that religious apologists will tell me, well, that, you know, God is trying to teach me a far more complex lesson than the people at Nintendo are trying to teach me with Zelda.

But when you try to pin them down on what the fuck that lesson is, you'll quickly learn that it's a lesson too complex for you to understand, which means it's a waste of fucking time trying to teach it to you. See, the thing is that video games give us a ready example of what a designed world looks like. In a designed world, there's always a reason to have gone to the place that you go. When you encounter a problem, there's always a solution and the materials you need to solve it are somewhere nearby. There's a logical reward system. The reward for the journey is commensurate with its difficulty. So either Christians have to accept that their God didn't design the world

or that he's worse at it than the folks at nintendo either way it seems like a pretty damning admission for religion joining me for headlines tonight are the depths and sky islands to my hyrule heath enright and eli bosnick fellas are you ready for an upheaval? It can't always be Zelda. You got to switch it up. We had a whole intervention about this. Your mom flew down.

I did. That was the last one. I promise. And speaking of last ones, this is also going to be our last opportunity to remind you about Matreon on this show.

That's the time of year when we urge our listeners to head over to patreon.com slash scathing atheist and pledge as little as a dollar an episode, or if you're already a patron, maybe upping that pledge to help us keep things afloat. We're awesomely close

to our matron goal of making D&D minus a twice-monthly schedule, which will be great. So if you'd like to help make that happen, check the show notes for more information. That's right, Noah. But it's not just that. We're currently at 310 new and upgrading patrons and at 400,

you and Heath will be doing a blind vegan snack tasting. I don't remember agreeing. I was kind of trying to focus on the positive and not the terrifying. Sometimes it's both, Noah. Sometimes it's both. I don't think this is one of those cases. I'm not doing anything blind with Eli.

You're doing it blind. I don't think we agreed to blind. I don't think we is one of those cases i'm not doing anything blind with eli yeah i don't think we're doing it blind i don't think we agreed to blind in our lead story tonight as american christians i want to point out your dick is not vegan in our lead story tonight as american christians scurry around desperately codifying their privilege with ever more theocratic laws it's easy to lose sight of the good news that undergirds that effort. And that news, of course, is that American Christianity is demographically doomed. No need to enshrine your privilege into law unless you're worried about otherwise losing it, right? And while that's cold comfort to the people being stripped of their rights, it's important to emphasize it as a reminder that as bad as things look, ours is a damn winnable fight. And this week, that important

reminder came in the form of a series of headlines declaring that fewer than half of Americans say that God definitely exists. Cool. They're down to two out of five dentists who recommend flossing and a fucking ghost. yeah i got baby steps i guess something yeah i mean they're dead baby steps but they're baby steps all the same yeah right so yeah no i will admit that this one is a little hard to get excited about almost half of americans are absolutely certain of something that is unevidenced illogical and dangerously incorrect the fucking fact that 11 of americans believe in bigfoot and yes that's the real number is a national embarrassment and god is way less fucking

plausible than sasquatch right just demonstrably yeah plus nobody's taking your fucking reproductive rights in the name of the crypt is a minute what's more of course this number actually hasn't changed since the previous year but a a fuck ton of Christian publications are churning out panicky headlines about yet another sign of their demographic erosion. So we're going to talk about it, though. Yeah, it is weird that half the people in this room would kill their child if they woke up to voices in their head is good news instead of a horror movie premise. but that's America for you, I guess. Isn't it, though? Yeah, that's the last 10 years of the news cycle, at least. Now, this number comes to us from the General Social Survey, a highly respected statistical snapshot of the country

that's funded by the National Science Foundation. And according to 2022's results that were released last Wednesday, only 49.63% of Americans are certain that God exists. Yikes. Yeah. Now, to be clear, the 2021 number was 49.66%, but as recently as 1993, that number was 64.5% that were certain. And when we started this fucking show, it was at 57.37%.

So we're talking about serious movement yeah thanks obama like seriously thank you obama it's like a gas prices thing for me yeah yeah however on the plus side i did check with wolfram alpha and nobody is going to believe in god by 2119 so you know you're welcome any extremely healthy babies that might be listening. You're welcome. No, of course, this is just the people that definitely believe in God. I need to further water down this already watered down news by pointing out that an additional 16% of people say they believe in God but have some doubts.

And another 14% said they believed in some higher power so about 80 percent of americans are definitely wrong on this one and another six percent say that they sometimes believe in god what whatever the fuck that means cancer for children of my enemies that that is god the good stuff. So, but now that leaves us 14%, about half of that remainder are just too chicken to admit that we're all just random star poop.

And they answer that they don't know. And there's no way to find out. And the other half is us, the frighteningly small percentage of Americans that admit that the evidence lists, wishful, nonsensical proposition is wrong. Even if that means admitting that nothing happens when you die.

Okay, I'll never understand that part. Nothing happens when these people are alive either. They so don't matter. You know how you don't matter right now? That just keeps happening. Why is that a big problem? This continues to be a thing. I also just really wish,

I don't know whether impossible things are true wasn't what way too many Americans consider the skeptical or reasonable position. Like just do it with any other impossible thing. Right. It's fine. You can gnosis it. You can gnosis it. I promise.

You sure can. But look, I need to emphasize here that this actually, I mean, I've been shitting on it this entire story, but this is good news. If you stand in the middle of the atheist echo chamber, you hear a lot about the demise of the atheist movement or whatever. But in the decade we've been doing this show, the number of people who tell the GSS that they don't believe in God has more than doubled. We're talking about 23 million people here. And of course, our numbers get higher as the demographics get younger. So as small as only about half of Americans unquestionably accepting our demonstrable lie might seem in a vacuum, given the overwhelming deference that Christianity requires to maintain its level of social control, those motherfuckers are still right to be panicked about it.

Exactly. Yeah. What happened to the atheist to be panicked about it. Exactly. Yeah. What happened to the atheist movement is that we're winning. Yep. And in Hail Mary news, in the near literal shitstorm of terrible bills signed into law by Florida Governor Ron DeSantis this week, it might actually be possible to miss the one that included mandatory prayer. But if any podcast is going to hold up a second to call bullshit on your behalf,

it's the scathing atheist. So let's get down to business. Yeah, no, I like honestly talking about anything from the Florida legislature right now. It's kind of like watching somebody get shot with a shotgun and go like, go and like, watch out for that pellet. Right. But we still have to keep track of all of them here i guess we do yeah so this is florida bill 225 which in addition to allowing charter and online school students to participate in extracurricular

activities at public or private schools also provides that high school athletic associations that include public schools must now allow any school participating in a championship contest to make two-minute opening remarks using the public address system. Okay, I heard you say create a charter school in Florida and get to the championship game in any sport.

Already on it, Eli. We're building that school. Yeah, you're ahead of me, Heath. So it goes on to say, quote, the Athletic Association may not control, monitor, or review the content of the opening remarks. What? And may not control the school's choice of speaker. Member schools may not provide remarks that are derogatory, rude, or threatening.

Hold on. You can't read, like, a bunch of the Bible according to that rule. That is anti-Christian persecution right there. And before the opening remarks, an announcement must be made that the content of any opening remarks by a participating school is

not endorsed by and does not reflect the views or opinions of the Athletic Association. End quote. So I want to move back to the word rude in there, derogatory rude or threatening. That word is doing a ton of work, right? Because to be clear, them telling me that Christianity is true

would not be considered rude. I find that rude. Me telling them it isn't would be. Yes, exactly. Right? Me saying nah, would be. Prohibiting rude speech is basically the same as saying okay but no views from minorities though yep right exactly and now maybe you're thinking to yourself podcast listener but eli that that bill didn't specifically mention prayer

why would you assume that spot will be used for prayer and to that say, you must be new. Take a knee. Look, what the fuck other speech requires just two minutes and explicit protections against monitoring, control or review? Right. Nobody's ever objected to a red Corolla in the parking lot has its lights on. Right. This bill was created because people object to public prayer. And with the inclusion of any team in that rule, including religious schools, you can

bet that Florida just gave itself mandatory codified pray-offs. Okay, I heard you say Islamic charter school with Arabic praying. Yeah, baby. Or honestly, just muttering in pseudo-Latin until the Floridians think

that they're cursed. I mean, I feel like we have a lot of options here. This could be fun. We really do. We really do. We're just some paperwork away from our best prank war yet. So stay tuned, everybody. Stay tuned. Next up in headlines, in baby name of the beast news, the supreme leader

of the underworld may finally be able to take over humanity thanks to a british couple who managed to name their son lucifer on his birth certificate government officials tried to stop the parents and warned about the impending doom but now it's too late for the powers of good because Lucifer Sheldon is on the books. Oh, shit. There are a lot of reasons Heath doesn't have a kid, but I feel like one of the big ones is worrying that he couldn't resist the temptation to name them, refuse to answer. And right.

Oh, yeah. We could call him Rufus. It's great. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So let me start by saying this story happened three years ago and also a big thanks to petris for the super topical link you sent me

in fairness this big scoop didn't hit the news desk at australia's self-proclaimed leading site for news until last week that site is news.com by the the way, news.com.au. But we never talked about this in 2020. And the level of religious stupidity is amusing. So we're going to talk about it now. So Dan and Mandy Sheldon went down to the naming office after the son was born. And when they told the registrar to write down Lucifer as their son's name, they were told, to write down Lucifer as their son's name, they were told, quote, your child will not succeed in life.

He'll never be able to get a job and teachers will refuse to teach him. Will refuse. Like, maybe that was a Brexit commentary, though, given the time. That's true of all the kids in the UK post-Brexit. Now, see, in Jersey, guy named Lou, right at home. Right at home. Yeah, pin in that so little belt in response dan and mandy explained that lucifer means light bringer and morning

in greek and also pointed out that um shut the fuck up and write down the name we said that's your job that's when the registrar went in the back to like check with a manager about using names that are scary to Christian people because they might have had a policy about that. And they kind of do. And the Sheldons got more arguing, too. They were also told, maybe you should pick a different name, but you can refer to your child as Lucifer in the privacy of your own home. And they were like, maybe you should write down the name we said because it's your job and words aren't met you have a phone in your pocket right yes jesus christ i i like okay so we all know that they didn't want to name their kid lucifer because

it means light bringer and shit but but i i love that they had to come to the childbirth with a prepared excuse like when you're returning something to the store you know that means morning in greek yeah and they thought it would work oh light bringer you say l-u-c-i-o let me get this down we're doing it for spite we're doing it for spite so in the end the sheldons were able to name their child Lucifer. After careful deliberation, the local council over there in the UK decided to let it happen. And then they non-apologized to the family, explaining that, yeah, we're sorry for that hassle, but it is the job of the registrar to advise about naming because some people aren't aware of bringing a demon into the world by using a name that never even showed up in the Bible until

1611. That's why we have that. Right. And I want to be clear, we're not like on the side of the parents here, alright? These two fucking hot topic rejects, you know, their name does suck for their kid, okay? I get that the parents are doing a bit, but like, it's not that nobody's

going to sit next to them at lunch because my daddy says you're evil. Like, you know just buy it buy a candle buy a candle and uh by the way there's one other detail i learned and it sent me down a really fun rabbit hole the registrar told the sheldons that it's actually illegal to name a child lucifer in new zealand really not clear how that's relevant in the uk, but that's what they told him. And that sounded absurd to me, so I actually checked. It turns out that is real. In New Zealand, they

also don't allow names that are titles like Justice or King. And New Zealand also rejected the name Mafia No Fear at one point. Good choice. Fair enough. Well done, New Zealand. I'm just picturing Kiwi Heath repeatedly

adjusting the spelling like he's trying to stay ahead of Facebook's bots or something. Was the O a zero? I definitely would do that. And lots of other countries have naming rules that ban certain words. I learned this too in my rabbit hole.

In the UK, they rejected the name cyanide at one point. That's a great name. It is, I know. In Mexico, they rejected Facebook and also Harry Potter. Okay, Mexico, that second one was a name first. That was already a name. That was a fucking name. In Australia, they also have a ban on titles

like king, colonel, Colonel, Saint, Princess, and also a ban on religious monikers. So they've had to reject Jesus and God as names. They've also rejected iMac and Ikea in Australia. France rejected Nutella, which I was furious about because that's an awesome name, too. rejected Nutella, which I was furious about because that's an awesome name too. And several countries, including Germany, on multiple occasions had to reject Adolf Hitler as a name. But not the lovely state of New Jersey here in the US. No, no. They are libertarian about that. In 2005, a New Jersey family officially named their son Adolf Hitler Campbell.

Yep. And they got all mad when a ShopRite grocery store refused to make them a birthday cake with their son's name on it. Oh, wow. And then a bunch of fucking homophobic cake maker defenders agreed that that was the only analogy they would ever use for the next 20

fucking years, I guess. Yeah. Yeah, there's a little bit of a happy ending to that one, though. The parents of Adolf Hitler Campbell no longer have custody of any of their kids because they're the worst. And they got caught being the worst. That's good. One of them's in jail. Awesome.

Yeah, not just for the naming thing. They're like the worst in so many ways. All the different ways. I don't know if you could have guessed this yeah right yeah the uh hitler campbell family not the best parents it turns out and in he him hysteria news fantastic couple of weeks ago i was in an event with my wife's family and some dumbass said something about how they were and i'm going to quote this bit about fucking sick of pronouns. I quoted and did the voice. So, for the

rest of the conversation, I didn't use any pronouns, which as Noah is sure the listener can imagine, sounds insane right a fucking way. That was kind of tricky to do. I'm impressed. It was. Yeah, no, it was.

I probably fucked up at some point. But of course, that idiot didn't know what a pronoun was, so he had no idea what was going on. I really wanted him to ask why I was talking that way so that I could say I was respecting his pronoun preferences, but he didn't. Instead, he just like, he hastily ended the conversation, which was also nice, right? I highly recommend this strategy. Anyway.

Yeah, it's a win-win. That's a win-win. Yeah. Second best outcome. Yeah, exactly. Right. Yeah, it's a win-win. That's a win-win. Yeah. Second best outcome. Yeah, exactly. Right. That's not the headline. That's just a humorous personal anecdote about pronoun hysteria to prime you for a story

about two employees at a Christian college last week getting fired for including their pronouns in their email signatures. So fucking stupid. Okay, bigots. Everyone's extra middle name is officially they, them, or whatever pronouns they want. Now it's a noun. Did I fix it for you, you fucking idiots?

Yeah, there you go. So yeah, so this story comes to us from Haught University in upstate New York, a college that's going out of its way to rein in its previous commitment to diversity over the last couple of years. This effort included included but was not limited to shuttering the school's multicultural center in march for being you know uppity or

something so the school's newspaper asked the women's area coordinator for the school reagan zelaya what she thought about that closure and she ripped the school a new one saying quote it just further demonstrates that the university is only interested in the kinds of diversity that are convenient for marketing purposes, end quote. Okay, I get what Reagan was saying there. But in fairness, for a mediocre university in upstate New York, the type of diversity that's good for marketing is less of it. Yeah. Way less. Maybe you mentioned a few slur words for like Irish and Italian people to highlight the diversity you have

there. Sure, yeah. They're photoshopping the black guys out of their brochure. It's a whole thing. You know what? Honestly, that's what this effort is all about, right? It literally is about marketing to lack of diversity. Now, in addition to her harsh criticism of the school, Zelaya also announced

that she was going to be resigning in protest to the decision amongst a bunch of other anti-diversity measures the school has taken recently. But the college opted for the rarely employed, you can't quit because we fire you strategy. So they sent her a termination letter that called her comments false and defamatory, which fucking no and no. But it preempted any discussion of the article with this gem quote as a result of your refusal to remove pronouns in your email signature in violation of institutional policy you know yada yada yada end quote okay what if they switch it to refer to me they lee and them lee like is it is it cool to do adverbs? Right, right.

No, yeah, exactly. Now, apparently, yeah, the college is trying to pretend that pronouns weren't the problem, despite the fact that Zelaya has a fucking letter that they wrote and sent.

They wrote it pretty clear. So they're, they're saying that they fired her because of other shit, but that's undercut by the fact that they, that there's a dude named Shua Wilmot, who was also fired at the same time and was also told it was because he had his pronouns in his email signature

and he didn't criticize the school in print. So the school added that even if they did fire them because of email pronouns, it's because their policy forbids any extraneous information in email signatures, even Bible verses. That's what they actually said.

Strangely enough, they couldn't point to an example of that time they fired someone for including a Bible verse in their signature. No, we just have a very strict no-strike email signature policy. This makes us look better.

This is a good thing. What problem were they solving? People were reading the bottom of emails being like, sincerely? Oh my God, it's too long. I can't. We're doing best and then your initials and that's it. Or you're fired.

Yeah, right. Exactly. And look, there's no doubt that Zelaya and Wilmot were signaling support for the transgender community by including their pronouns. They admit as much. But also, their names are Reagan and Shua. They have other practical reasons for telling people how best to address them in a written fucking medium, which makes this somehow even dumber. Yeah, it does.

But based on Houghton's panicky response from the New York Times publishing an article about this and based on the angry open letter they got from 700 plus alumni, you get the feeling that they're at least starting to realize how dumb this was. And at least that's nice. And finally tonight, Donald Trump hosted an extremely problematic gathering of terrible people at his Doral, Florida hotel property last weekend. Of course, I'm talking about people who chose to visit Florida and pay money to Donald Trump's companies. Because he had some family over then? And go to that hotel. The venue also hosted an extremely problematic,

organized gathering of terrible people for a big event. And they also hosted another extremely problematic, organized gathering of terrible people for a big event. And they also hosted another extremely problematic, organized gathering of terrible people for another big event all that same weekend. On top of the normal patrons, like I mentioned at the top, that would be pastors for Trump, which is exactly what it sounds like. which is exactly what it sounds like. And also the Reawaken America Tour and their traveling circus of insane wrongness about everything ever. Both, by the way, are hosted by Clay Clark. Heath, we can still see the Clay Clark picture

you put in our notes. You're not getting anything from the prize box, man. Honestly, it's two events. I'm surprised you didn't use the opportunity to embed two tiny pictures of Clay Clark. God damn it, there's one. There it is. He hit it's two events. I'm surprised you didn't use the opportunity to embed two tiny pictures of Clay Clark in the... God damn it, there's one. There it is. He hit it on you. Alright, big thanks to Danielle

for the link. Scathingnews at gmail.com Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Keith, you're telling me that folks can send us the latest in religious batshittery to scathingnews at gmail.com and not only will they be helping with the show but we'll hack their email and embed a single pixel picture of Clay Clark

into all their letters to their dad for the next calendar year. That's not even possible. He's not saying that, though. Get you an NFT of Clay Clark, whatever you want. I do have that stuff available. So the two groups of insane people

kind of just melted their things together all weekend. During the opening speech, the group's leader, Pastor Jackson Lemire, explained how the evil progressive agenda of American politics is exactly the same as all the demon stuff in the book of Revelation. No mention of the scorpion horse locust thing, but I'm assuming, you know, we're keeping that in our pocket until the right moment, probably. He did mention the biggest issues being gender confusion and moral confusion. And then he explained how the entire Democratic Party is being controlled by the literal devil. Exact words,

quote, Satan has an entire political party in this nation doing his bidding for free well it's not free i mean we're not like george soros is handling payroll here i mean we're getting pansexual orgies we get paid a lot of yeah right yeah exactly i also think it's funny that we just get told we're not nice enough on a regular basis by the side that tells us we're being controlled by the ontological representation of evil. Yeah, right. Why are you guys so impolite? And of course, Michael Flynn was there, too. He just directly called for a fascist Christian theocracy straight up saying, quote, if you

haven't figured this out yet, the evil that we're facing will not give up until we take over. Exact words. And then Flynn took a phone call on stage from Donald Trump. Trump told him, stay healthy because we're bringing you back. And apparently that's a real thing Trump is planning to do. According to a recent report, if Trump gets back into the White House, he's planning to appoint Michael Flynn, the confessed felon, to a top national security position. Well, I think linguistically it just becomes a top national position at that point, though, right? Right, yeah. Honestly, I would love for america

to get a department of national insecurity going we got a lot of problems in that area so so you're probably wondering what about the mermaids and the water people well don't worry well thank you you will not be ignored with your question divine prophet amanda grace gave a keynote on exactly that very serious topic of the mermaids and the water people and here's what she had to say quote there's a wickedness attempting to completely cover this nation and perversion and seductive seducing spirits yeah the worst kind of seductive spirits really is the seducing ones. Selling seashells by the seashore? You hate to say it.

She continues, I have never seen more images of more mermaids and water people in my life. And then there's a really long pause and a terrified silence from the crowd of crazy people. Even the crazy people at this thing were like,

fucking what? Yeah. Nothing. She continued one more time. That's a division in the kingdom of darkness and they're highly technologically advanced and we have to understand what we're dealing with. Oh my God.

We have to understand the rules of engagement in spiritual warfare and we are meant for hand-to-hand combat. End quote. Seriously. With mermaids. Yep. It's nice to know that even their event organizers can't consistently tell the difference between

like espousing their position and just regular insane, right? Yeah. I'm picturing Michael Flynn backstage, like talking to his assistant, being like, I'm worried I lost people with the fascist takeover talk. And he just hears, we cannot fight the cyber mermaids. Our karate is not strong enough. He's like, nevermind, actually.

I'm the most coherent person here by far. The most coherent person is me, Michael Flynn. Yeah. So we normally do this at the beginning of the story, but they closed it out with a speech about the hand-to-hand combat in the spiritual war between Christian people and the super advanced merfolk of darkness. So, Anna?

What are the guys talking about? It's the newest, the greatest Christian freak out. All right. Well, I guess we're going to close it out on a different kind of note this time. So, Heath, Eli, thanks as always. Merfolk of darkness. And when we come back, Bible Peace Theater will get back to the only book of the Bible that feels pre-Lampooned. And see, this is our snack table.

Does your new job have a snack table, Dom? I mean, I work from home. So no, no snack table at that job. job okay who smashed up all of my black and white cookies that was me you're welcome why because you're non-binary i thought you would like it it's like a non-binary thing um what do you think non-binary means heath probably best not to ask that hey guys hey what's up okay no, what cookie do non-binary people eat? Nope You guys ready for Bible Peace Theater?

The part of the show where we act out the Bible So our listeners don't have to read it? Sure, where were we? Hi, Ezekiel Right, yeah, he's in a weird shit-eating S&M relationship with God, right? Yeah, but like in a bad way But bad, exactly No need to kink shame Thank you Nope, that's true And then an angel who, but like in a bad way. But bad, exactly. No need to kink shame.

Thank you. No, that's true. And then an angel who was a wheel in a wheel pulled him by his hair to see that the Jews were secretly worshiping other gods? Yes, that's it, exactly. Yeah, got it, got it. So what happens next?

Well, like he said, Ezekiel saw the Jews being bad, so it's time for him to act out more of God's tiresome metaphors. And so I said, well, don't stand on that side if you don't want to hold the wiping hand. And what did she say? Oh, you know, the usual. Oh, you should switch sides for me, blah, blah, blah. Ugh, concubines.

Totally. Oh, oh, shit, it's Ezekiel. Hi, Ezekiel. Hi, Ezekiel. Hey, Ezekiel. Hey, dudes. Not sure if you noticed, but I cut a hole in the wall of my house, and I covered my head so I can't see. Yeah, yeah, man.

You can see that. Ugh, okay, I'll bite. Wait, why did you cut a hole in the wall of your house and cover your head so you can't see? Why would you ask? So, like, this, will you flee from Israel in the dark and, like, through a hole because God is mad at you? Okay, are we actually going to flee in the dark through a hole or is that just a metaphor? Also, I'm not sure if you noticed the other day, man,

but while I was eating, I was like, you know, shaking. Yeah, no, we saw you got stuff everywhere while you were eating. We saw that. Well, that's like a metaphor of how you guys are going to tremble before God. Yeah, got it. Thanks. Great. Thank you for the prophecy, Ezekiel, I guess.

Oh, is there any chance I could like crash at one of you guys' places tonight? Is it because there's a hole in your house? Yeah, man. How'd you know about the hole in my house? Are you going to shake during dinner? I mean, yeah, man. Then no. Yeah, it's a no from me, dog.

And so I said to him, I don't want to hold the wiping hand. Good for you. Oh, hey, ladies. Oh, hey, ladies. Oh, hey, Ezekiel. What's up? Oh, I just want you to know that God is against your pillows. What?

Wait, why does God hate pillows? It's probably a mistranslation. A lot of other Bibles call them magic charms or baubles or something like that. Ah, got it. Still, with the way people fixate on Bible verses,'s a wonder christians haven't taken that up huh yeah i wonder what that would be like good evening i'm todd rackman and this is the six o'clock news supreme court has ruled in favor of my pillow employeeow employee Stutch Hubband. Hubband refuses to make pillows at his job at the pillow factory, citing his devout religious beliefs. Let's go to

the courthouse to see what he has to say. Today is a great day for freedom in America. Everyone involved in this decision is an adult with a driver's license. A driver's license indeed. And coming up next, non-binary people's favorite cookie. Is it an Oreo? You know, because of the middle? Stay tuned after the break. I mean, that's not dumber

than what we have now. No, it might even be a little less dumb. Anyways, what's next? Oh, shit. More threats, more threats. There's the part where he calls Jerusalem his baby wife whore. Oh, Jerusalem, hear me.

Okay. Oh, brother. Here we go again. Oh, you are like a baby, man. When you were born, your navel was not cut and you were not salted. What? And then they left you in a field, man.

Did he say salted? Who salts a baby? What is that? And then they threw you into a field, into a puddle of your own blood, and I found you, man, and I said, live. I'm sorry, was the puddle of baby blood already there in the field in this metaphor? Great question. Okay, you are my wife. I found you naked and spread my skirt upon you.

Is this still the baby? I think it's a new metaphor. I need him to be clearer about that. Okay, now you are a whore, but you're such a whore that you pay them to have sex with you, man. I don't think this guy knows what a whore is. It's not what a whore is. Okay, I'm you, man. I don't think this guy knows what a whore is. It's not what a whore is. Okay, I'm back, everyone.

God told me new stuff, man. Cool, yeah. Does anyone marry and fuck a baby they found? Yeah, we would love a heads up on that moving forward. Oh, no, man. This one's a riddle. I'm sorry, God gave you a riddle? Yeah, man. This one's a riddle. I'm sorry. God gave you a riddle? Yeah, man.

So, like, there's two eagles and a vine. And the first eagle, he takes, like, the topmost branch of a cedar tree and he brings it to Babylon. tree and he brings it to Babylon. And then another vine bends toward the first eagle, but then turns into a second eagle, man.

What the fuck was that? That was a riddle, man. No, no, it definitely was not a riddle. Yeah, definitely not a riddle. No, no, no, no, you guys. Because, like, the first eagle is, like, the king. And then the other eagle is the one who's going to replace him, you know, like a man.

But that's not a fucking riddle. That's another fucking metaphor. I'm pretty sure it's a riddle, dude. Is it oatmeal raisin, maybe? You got to let this go. You got to let this go. It's not a fucking riddle. Get off me, man! Say a goddamn riddle!

Say a goddamn riddle right now! Okay, okay. We tied up ancient Jerusalem Noah, and I believe Ezekiel has a proverb for us this time. Oh, yeah, man. a proverb for us this time. Oh, yeah, man.

So it's like when your dad eats sour grapes, you know, and your teeth are set on edge. What? But, but, but that's like

not true in junk. Okay, so you're telling a proverb that you disagree with right now? Um, yeah, man. I feel like we should untie ancient Jerusalem Noah. Yeah, let him at him. Oh, don't, man. Don't, man. He bites.

Oh, see? He does. Yeah, just like that, man Lou, Lou, Lou Doing Ezekiel stuff Ezekiel stuff is, like, my favorite stuff, man Hey, Doug E-Z-E

How you doing, buddy? Listen up Oh, wow Oh, hey, God, man What's up? Yeah, okay So I got a new message I want you to take to the people of Jerusalem Okay, well, sure, God, man What's the? Yeah, okay. So I got a new message I want you to take to the people of Jerusalem. Okay, sure, God, man.

What's the message, man? Okay, I want you to tell them that when the elders come before me, I'm not going to listen. Okay, got it. Right, because I know they've been worshiping other gods. But here's the good part. Joke's on them. I put bad laws among them um wait sorry god man you did what now i know i know i'm the one that told them to sacrifice their kids and worship idols because i'm the only god right so it's me it was me the whole time okay so like you want me to tell the people of Jerusalem that the behavior like you've been killing and punishing them for, for like the whole book.

Whole book, yep. That was you all along. Me all along, baby, totally. I mean, if you think so, man. Okay, so what happens next? Well, then you get Ezekiel 23. It's the story of two horse sisters. Horse dicks with the cum.

Yeah. Yes. Yeah, right. This is the part where they talk about the dude's dicks and cum being like the emissions of horses. Okay. All right. Well, this is going to be easy to make funny, right?

Come on. We got horse dicks. Well, I'm not so sure because the first part is just super slut-avy and then yeah they get raped and murdered oh right ah i mean we could oh what if we no no no i see your like that. Do you guys want to substitute getting into Supernatural for rape account? Yeah, I think that's the move, yeah. Yeah. Nice, okay.

Oh, I'm a hola, and boy, oh boy, am I a whore. I just love smooching boys big time. You said it, sister. I, too, am a whore who enjoys boy smooching. You said it, sister. I, too, am a whore who enjoys boy smooching. Grr, I am an Assyrian who you ladies have been smooching in spite of my horse-like appendages. I'm now going to introduce you both to Supernatural. No, that show is so formulaic.

And they didn't even have the guts to go through with the only gay romance in the entire show. The worst. Man, you really hate Supernatural, huh? I really man you really hate supernatural huh i really do don i really really do but the quote i got for moving the poop hole insane insane quote what did he quote you four sheep four oh my god okay yeah four sheep is insane, hear me, Jerusalem. Ugh, here we go. God damn it. Oh, man. I have set this pot full of meat boiling with a grave and terrible message. Today is the day that Babylon will attack Jerusalem and stuff. And you're announcing that with

soup? I mean like bad soup. Bad soup. Got it. Yep. Psst. Psst. Ezekiel. Hey, buddy. Hey. Oh. Hey,

God, man. How's it going and stuff? Okay, so bad news. I'm gonna kill your wife. Oh, uh, hey, God, man. Uh, how's it going and stuff? Okay, so, bad news. I'm gonna kill your wife. Oh, man, you're gonna kill my wife? Whoa, I never said that. I don't even know her. Who is that?

Who's the one? I've never met your wife before. Uh, sir? Right? Sorry. Nope. This one's real. I was practicing for a different thing.

Anyways, I'm gonna kill your wife, but here's the thing. When I do that, I don't want you to mourn her. Okay, buddy? No mourning. Okay, God, man, but like, why in junk? I'm glad you asked. Because then when people see you, they'll be like, oh, Ezekiel, why aren't you mourning your wife?

And you'll be like, just as I don't mourn for my wife, you should not mourn for Jerusalem when it is destroyed. Oh, whoa. Right? Yeah, totally. Yeah. So, like, hey, God man? Yeah, E-Dog? Are you killing my wife for a belabored metaphor about how mad you are at Jerusalem? Yeah.

Aw, bummer, man. God is going to obliterate the Ammonites. God is going to annihilate the Moabites. God is going to exterminate the Edomites. God is going to wipe out the Philistines. Wow. God is going to demolish the city of Tyre.

This book is just like a big old list of threats, huh? Pretty much, yeah. The whole thing. God is going to decimate the city of Sidon. Okay, so about a three count.

Oh my God, I don't want to do this. I'm just saying, you can't expect me to go on a silent zero. It doesn't make sense. It's not a silent zero. It's three, two, one, go.

God is going to dismantle the city of Sidon. So it's a four count. God's three, two, one, go. So it's a four count. No, it's three, two, one, go. No, yeah, that's very much a three count. Thank you. I feel like a crazy person. Okay, how about this? One, two, three. Go on three.

Why does counting up make any difference? Well, because then it's an actual three count, right? They're both three counts. Then what's the go? It's just go. Go is just go. Go means go. It's the word go.

Okay, I'm seeing Eli's point here. I'm going to murder both of you. Guys, what are you doing? I've been done with my bit in the background for like a minute. Eli and Don are saying one, two, three, go is a four count and I'm going to murder them to death. Why? I mean, if it's not a four count, what's the go?

I will set myself on fire. So now it's time for God to take Ezekiel on another field trip. Oh, voice of God, why have you brought me to this field of bones? All right, so hear me out. I find this buffalo wild wings doing an all-you-can-eat night

that doesn't have my picture on the wall, right? Psst, Sarah. I mean, never mind. Everybody, look at these bones. Oh, I'm looking, man. Okay, are these bones alive? Um, um, no. Right, well, what if I do this?

Now there's flesh on the bones. Are they alive now? Uh, no. Good, good. So what about this? Now I brought them to life. That is Israel. Um, okay.

I got it. So like, um, what are you going to do with... Eat him. Right. Yeah. Wingsauce. Yeah. Let's see.

There's more death threats, more death threats. Oh, and then here's the section about Gog and Magog. Oh, who are Gog and Magog? So Gog is a fictional leader of a probably fictional nation called Magog. And they're going to attack Jerusalem and eat everybody, apparently. Huh. Hey, did you guys know that that's where Gog Magog comes from in Jack and the Beanstalk? It's very Jungian, the way that story is.

Oh, it's Jungian? You read a lot of Jung, Eli? Yeah, I have dabbled in... Do you? Okay, because I think Stephen King talks about this in his latest book, too. Oh, does he? I haven't read it.

That's cool. No, you haven't read that? You haven't read the Stephen King? What happens next in the Bible, Noah? Okay. Next, there's a giant robot. Nice. Really?

I mean, it says man made of bronze. Close enough. Let's do it. Hey, Mr. Robot Man. What's up? All right, meatbag. Feast your eyeballs on this. This here's the outer gate facing east.

Yeah, that's right, east. Try to keep up. It's shut on the six working days, but on the Sabbath day, it's opened up. You getting this? No, well, too bad I'm not repeating myself. See that, Prince? He's gonna enter from the way of the porch and stand by the post. And the priests?

They're going to prepare his burnt offering and his peace offerings. And you better not forget about those peace offerings. They're very important. Especially if you don't want to get on my bad side. Got it? Now, you see this little chamber? The priests that approach unto God shall eat the most holy things there. That's right. It's like the private dining room.

No, you can't go in. You're not holy enough. No offense. Actually, you know what? Scratch that. No offense. Got it, man. Yo, yo, brass man, how we doing? Oh, fantastic, sir. What are you doing here? You know, alter measurements, sacrifice rules, you know how we do, right?

Oh, hell yeah, I do. Oh, wait, I guess no, I don't. Whatever. Also got some specifics on what God wants you to wear, like underwear-wise. And spoiler alert, hope you're a fan of linen bonnets. Um, not really, man. Alright, well, you're really gonna hate this, then. Um, alright, giant bronze dude.

Uh, thanks for showing me around and stuff. I mean, that was cool. One more thing before I go, Meatbag. You see this water flowing under the temple door? Oh, that was me. My bad. My bad. It's a thousand cubits by a thousand cubits. Anyone know when the plunger is invented? And that's gonna go all the way out to the sea. Capisce? Uh, yeah, man. The sea. Got it. Honestly, don't know that a plunger would do that much at this point. Pipe is basically cemented shut, if you know what I mean. Cemented.

And that's how God is gonna divide the land. Before and after, am I right? Right? Right? And that's Ezekiel. Wow, that was a lot. Yeah, no, it's azekiel. Wow, that was a lot.

Yeah, no, it's a long one. So what did we learn, anyway? Well, I'm glad you asked. Hit it, Anna! He's a Zeke E-O-O-O Ezekiel is freaky Proves it every time he speaks While we're minding our own business

Standing to our sheep He'll appear with piles of hair He whacked off with a rapier And then he'll toss them in the air And hack them up HWAH! What a fucking creep! What's he do the waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Limits your credulity, he tests it with impunity And boards a community with tales of lying saucers I'll shit you not, man, I got witnesses

His craziness is limitless, man, here's some instances God's four-headed angel crew, hand him a pamphlet or two Then what do these chimeras do? They make him eat that shit They take him higher than higher God says, hi, his dick's on fire Says, you'll be my new town friar Warn the Jews of their demise A third will perish to starvation, third to wars and foreign nations

Third to contamination, but more than everybody dies Cause once I've killed three thirds, I'll kill another third as well Then the fifth third ends up worse cause into slavery I'll sell Now Zeke, it's all emphatic not to be undiplomatic But your ethics and bad mathematics seem to tell me you're a fucking creep. I mean, that's a little hard. While you're mad, bro, aren't you supposed to be low-knowing or some shit? You're the god of the universe.

Good Lord offered no retraction, so despite his gross misuse of fractions, he did Yahweh's call to action. Asked him, what should I do first? Make a Jewish place and a tiny army Then you'll place it at your feet to represent the Israel's curse For thirteen months lay on your right to represent the coming white Then left another forty nights to show the Jews

that it gets better Lay four hundred thirty days and lavish me in praise And eat your barley cakes with cow shit instead of butter Don't you be a prima donna Don't you say that you don't wanna Doesn't matter, cause you're gonna be my voice You're Ezekiel, not Ethan Hunt, oblivious, unmindful cunt I'm God and you're the grunt, so you don't have a choice

I've commandeered your worthless life and planned to load it up with strife And kill your loving wife and won't even let you grieve her Well fuck me, Zeke shoutsouts I thought free will was paramount Turns out that shit only counts when you're debating on the real book It's a shit show What the hell's it even mean? I wish the Bible was over I wish the Bible was over of the kingdom tonight, I want to remind you that there's only one week left to get in on Patreon. Among other things, that means access

to our patron-only Pajama Party livestream, which may include Eli sticking his dick in Heath's blindfolded face, and it may not. It's really up to you, and you'll only know

if you're a patron. Anyway, that's all the blasphemy we've got for you tonight, but we'll be back in 10,022 minutes with more. If you can't wait that long, be on the lookout for a brand new episode

of our sister show's Hot Friend Godawful Movies debuting at 7 p.m. Eastern on Tuesday, and an even newer episode of our half-sister show, Citation Needed, debuting at noon Eastern on Wednesday. Obviously, I can't end the show without genuinely thanking Heath and Eli for being the kind of coworkers that would happily take on extra work so that I could play a video game I really liked for a week. And an even bigger thanks to Lucinda, a wife that would not only be fine with me burning a vacation week on that, but also spend most of that week playing alongside me. And I also want to thank Storm Indecisus for providing this week's Farnsworth

quote and for hating Ted Cruz. I want to thank Don Ford for continuing to agree to hang out with us. I want to thank Anna Bosnick one more time for always bringing gold. But most of all, of course I want to thank this week's best people and sorry, there's no way I'm doing this in one breath. It's been two weeks and it's Matreon. I'll do the best I can.

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Diva Catherine Sagary Peter 2 technically I got other Peter 2 out there that technically counts as two breaths who are so big I couldn't fit them all in my mouth at once take that however you want to together these 87 people, cats, fjords, robo-defectors,

declarations of affection, imperatives, etc., took up the Matriod Challenge by giving us money. If you, too, would like to give us money, you can make a per-episode donation to patreon.com slash scathingatheist, whereby you earn early access to an extended ad-free version of every episode, or you make a one-time donation by clicking on the donate button on the right side of the homepage at scathingatheist.com. And if you'd

like to help, but you're going to forget about it as soon as the show's over, I get it. Old memory ain't what it used to be. I'm with you. Anyway, Tim Robertson handles our social media and our audio engineer is Morgan Clark, who also wrote all the music that was used in this episode, which was used with permission. If you have questions, comments, or death threats, you'll find all the contact info on the contact page at scathingatheist.com. he hasn't played fucking Zelda he doesn't know he doesn't why would you even want to listen to what he has to say about things the preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle and a Thunderstorm LLC copyright 2023 all rights reserved