The Scathing Atheist - 546: Morning Show Edition

Episode Date: August 3, 2023

On this week’s episode: *sad trombone sound* ... We learn how to hunt Irish witches, for charity ... And we have the release of a brand new single from Anna Bosnick. --- To make a per episode donation at Patreon.com, click here: http://www.patreon.com/ScathingAtheist To buy our book, click here: https://www.amazon.com/Outbreak-Crisis-Religion-Ruined-Pandemic/dp/B08L2HSVS8/ If you see a news story you think we might be interested in, you can send it here: [e-mail] To check out our sister show, The Skepticrat, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/the-skepticrat To check out our sister show’s hot friend, God Awful Movies, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/god-awful-movies To check out our half-sister show, Citation Needed, click here: http://citationpod.com/ To check out our sister show’s sister show, D and D minus, click here: https://danddminus.libsyn.com/ To hear more from our intrepid audio engineer Morgan Clarke, click here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/ --- Headlines:  "Judeo-Christian" roots will ensure US military AI is used ethically, general says: https://www.washingtonpost.com/national-security/2023/07/22/air-force-general-ai-judeochristian/ New religious charity promotes ‘witch hunting’ sermon: https://www.secularism.org.uk/news/2023/07/new-religious-charity-promotes-witch-hunting-sermon Barclays Bank pays £21,500 settlement to charity that ‘helps people leave LGBT lives’: https://www.thirdsector.co.uk/barclays-bank-pays-21500-settlement-charity-helps-people-leave-lgbt-lives/finance/article/1828268 --- GAMusic: “Eye of the Tiger” — by 2 for Christ:  https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT88GMgPv/

Warning, the language in this episode is explicit, because when we tried being implicit, the stupid motherfuckers out there didn't get it. This week's episode of The Scathing Atheist is brought to you by Factor and by the new cartoon series for Christian nationalists. Grand Dragon Ball Z. Grand Dragon Ball Z. Clanime at its finest. And now, The Scathing Atheist. its finest. And now, the Scathing Atheist. Hello, this is former President Donald J. Trump, having a really tough week, but reminding you once again, we did in fact evolve from filthy monkey men. Anyone know a good lawyer? It's Thursday. It's August 3rd. And I've got a soundboard, baby.

Okay. Fun while it lasted, everybody. Enjoy the August 3rd. And I've got a soundboard, baby! Okay. Fun while it lasted, everybody. Enjoy the podcast. Cool. I'm gonna shut it down. I'm Michael Marshall. I'm Eli Bosnick. I'm Heath Enright. And from Chris Christie's New Jersey, Pete Best's Liverpool, and Jack Kevorkian's

Ann Arbor, this is The Scathing Atheist. On this week's episode, religion will be all like... Okay. We learn how to hunt Irish witches for charity. And we have the release of a brand new single from the Anabasnik. But first, the Alaya Tribe. tribe. So as Noah mentioned a few weeks ago, I used to be a 9-11 truther. Now, to be fair, I don't think I was particularly hardcore about my beliefs, right? I posted a few deeply cringey

hardcore about my beliefs, right? I posted a few deeply cringy statuses, probably left a few comments on Facebook posts I would love to see deleted. But for the most part, I managed to be set straight by that conversation with Noah without outing myself to too many folks as the jackass I was. But it was how I got there that I think is worth discussing. See, about a year before I had that conversation with Noah at the toy store, I'd gotten the brilliant idea to smoke a joint in Washington Square Park. Now, hippie mecca though it was, and while you had a pretty strict no drugs policy, and if you got caught smoking weed in your room, you could be expelled. But you see, my roommate had informed me about one simple trick. You see, the park, which was right next door to my dorm, wasn't school property. The cops were there,

but they didn't care if you smoked a little weed. And even if they did, it was like a $36 ticket, so no big deal. So there I am, smoking my joint in Washington Square Park, feeling very bohemian when a cop walks up to me and tells me, hey, put that out. And I'm a 19-year-old idiot, so I say, oh man, I just started this one, and I flick the joint into the bushes. And that's when he grabbed me. See, my roommate was actually kind of right New York City had very nearly reached its current state of decriminalization by then And if I had, in fact, put out the joint That officer could have written me a ticket And I'd have been on my way

But because I flicked my joint into the bushes The cop decided that I was obstructing justice As the TV shows call it Which is a class A misdemeanor, carrying a possible prison sentence of up to a year in jail, which is exactly what he informed me as he threw me against his car so hard he broke my nose and then drove me downtown in handcuffs. Now, I want to pause for a second and acknowledge how lucky I am about how the rest

of the story went. I know that for way too many people in exactly that situation, they just went to jail and had their job opportunities, their financial situations, sometimes even their lives destroyed. But my family knew a lawyer in New York City who took one look at my broken nose, had a conversation with the cops in the other room, and got me released the same night. I know how lucky I was now, but at the time, I was furious. I was certain that I was going to have this dude's badge. They hadn't even given me my possession ticket, and I was going to make sure that this dude paid. He did not. I filed a complaint. I testified in front of a city ethics board, and pretty much

wherever I turned, including the multiple attorneys I independently contacted, I was informed that they were sorry that it happened to me, but them's the brakes. I was furious. How could the system have failed me like this? How could this possibly be the way things worked? I was a child of the 80s. Police officers were people you went to when you needed help. And now, every time I saw one, I got a knot in my stomach. And the people around me were not helping.

My liberal friends and my teachers just kept telling me how lucky I was. And didn't I know how much harder it was for so many people around me? And my conservative friends could barely conceal the fact that they thought I got what I deserve for being such a loudmouth asshole. But you know who was sympathetic? You know who did know that the system was broken and what's more wanted to do something about it? Anti-government loons. That's who. They said and did everything I wanted them to say and do. And in return, I believe the lies they fed me without question because they were

the ones who got it. See, all too often we forget that the road to unreason is lined with very real pain. And once you go down that path, all too often the only place to go for comfort is deeper. Look, I get it. I too find myself wondering how I can find myself

in a country where 40% thinks Donald Trump should be the president, how a frighteningly large percentage of this country believes that Hillary Clinton has participated in some child trafficking, but sometimes the road back from those positions is just as painful to take. And again, I was lucky.

This super smart dude at work debunked zeitgeist without even remembering the conversation, apparently. And the article he referred me to was one of the hosts of the Skeptic's Guide to the Universe, which I then became a rabid fan of. And I escaped my bad ideas without anyone ever knowing I'd had them. I got to laugh along with the jokes that were about me until they weren't anymore. And to be honest, I think maybe our movement could use a bit more to that welcoming spirit. I think there's a bit too much attendance taking at the door these days. I think it's well intentioned. I think we want our spaces to be safe and our at-risk communities to feel protected.

But I think in doing so, far too often we slam doors in the faces of folks who might belong here. By my math, there's about 43 new people listening to the show this week. 43 people who have never tuned into our show before. And if you're one of them, some of the jokes you hear this week might be about you or about who you were until very recently. And I want you to know that you're welcome, that nothing you've said or done up until this point prevents you from having a seat in the room and hearing what we've got to say. Whatever you've done, it's your little secret. And for the record Whatever brought you here I'm sorry it happened

And we're going to treat you better They're talking about you, Jesus We interrupt this broadcast and bring you a special news bulletin Joining me for headlines tonight Are the fucking married to my kill Michael Marshall and Eli Bosnick Gentlemen, are you ready to have A weird party with those

verbs, I guess? Wow, even in a gag for the intro, you'd rather be killed than be the marry one? So like the only label you'll gladly accept is a toe tag, I guess. Okay. I didn't think it through. I think he was just trying to fuck you, Marsh. Read the room. Okay, yeah. Maybe I was.

I did think it through. Alright, we're going to need a quick break from our sponsor, Factor. I'm at least five minutes, it turns out. Yeah, five or ten. Give me about ten. I was going to do it. Okay, now it says we need to Julianne the shallots. What's that?

I have no idea what either of those things are. Hey, guys, what you up to? Oh, hey, Heath. Marsh and I ordered one of those meal kits everyone talks about, but all the prep it makes us do feels like just as much work as a trip to the grocery store. Side note, do we have a Quinnell spoon? Top left.

Guys, if chopping and prep is just too much work for you, why don't you try Factor? What? Factor? Factor, America's number one ready-to-eat meal kit, can help you fuel up fast with flavorful and nutritious ready-to-eat meal kit, can help you fuel up fast with flavorful and nutritious ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. You'll save time, you'll eat well, and you'll stay on track reaching your goals.

Factor's fresh, never-frozen meals are ready in just two minutes, so all you have to do is heat and enjoy, then get back outside and soak up the warm weather. I don't know, Heath. We like variety. Are you sure Factor's for us? I am certain. Treat yourself to 34 plus weekly restaurant quality options like bruschetta shrimp risotto, green goddess chicken, and grilled steakhouse filet mignon. Ready in just two minutes.

I mean, it sounds great, Heath, but maybe you forgot I'm vegan. Those boxes never have options for me. Wrong again. Wrong, idiot. Factor offers delicious, flavor-packed options on the menu each week to fit a variety of lifestyles, from keto to calorie smart, vegan and veggie, and protein plus.

Prepared by chefs and approved by dieticians, each meal has all of the ingredients you need to feel satisfied all day long while meeting your goals. All right, Heath, we're sold. Where do we sign up? Head to factormeals.com slash scathing50 and use the code scathing50 to get 50% off. That's code scathing50 at factormeals.com slash scathing50 to get 50% off. You hear that, Marsh? So long, pinching fork.

Yeah. Okay, well, put it back with the other pinching forks which middle right middle right there's a chart right on the fridge he's got a chart yeah he's got a it's there to help you use the help and we're back in our lead story tonight we can all stop worrying about artificial intelligence taking over the world because Ultron is Judeo-Christian. It's fine. It's going to be fine. At least the American Ultron is Judeo-Christian, and that's what matters. According to Air Force General Richard G. Moore Jr., that's the big picture answer about the ethics of AI and the future of autonomous

warfare. America has biblical values, so it's all going to work out fine with the AI. Yeah, I mean, given OpenAI's token pricing, I think they owe all of us 40 shekels, if you know what I mean, but I get what you're saying. All right, and a big thanks to H for the link, scathingnews at gmail.com, if you want to help out. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Heath, you're telling me that our listeners can not only send us atheist news to scathingnews at gmail.com if you want to help out. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Heath, you're telling me that our listeners can not only send us atheist news to scathingnews at gmail.com and hear it on the show, but one lucky winner will get to kill

one Manchester civilian with us at QED? Huh. Okay. Marsh? Now, I know you think that's meant to bother me, but what you're forgetting is

I live in Liverpool. You can take out as many fucking manks as you like. Go nuts. I'll even hold your umbrella for you're forgetting is I live in Liverpool. You can take out as many fucking Mancs as you like. Go nuts. I'll even hold your umbrella for you while you do it. All right.

It sounds like a slur word when you say Mancs. I don't know. That's the great thing about the British is they got slurs for a lot deeper cuts than we do. It feels like it, but I feel like I've heard people just say that.

That's just like New Yorker, right? Yeah, it is. Yeah, it's just someone from Manchester. Yeah. It's not like Yanks, I think, than New Yorker. Oh, it's much more like Yanks. Nicely done. Nicely done. Okay. But Yanks, it's fine. So we learned about this very important facet of cutting edge morality during an event at the Hudson Institute last week. That's a conservative think tank in Washington, D.C., and they're exactly as intelligent and useful as that sounds.

Yeah, just like all conservatives then. Yeah. Yeah. During the event, General Moore got a question about the use of AI in the military. And as you can safely assume about almost every single general in the Air Force, Moore is a Christian lunatic. So he responded by saying, quote, regardless of what your beliefs are, our society is a Judeo-Christian society and we have a moral compass. Not everybody does, end quote. Yeah, because there's no better way to let me know you're going to behave responsibly with advanced weaponry than by assuring me that none of it matters. Because we're all going to fight besides sword mouth Jesus when he descends from heaven for his final battle with his dad's ex-boyfriend. Yep. The thing is, America might have a moral compass, but then you

bring a Bible too close to it and it messes with the whole thing like a super strong magnet. Like hold a Bible close enough and you can make that moral compass point at any direction you like. Yeah, exactly. Describing the American Supreme Court right there. So in response to that answer from General Moore, everyone at the event was like, yeah, right. Of course, America, Bible, the guy in charge of our drones is very ethical and that all makes sense. Perfect. And then Moore kept talking and made it even worse, but also unbeknownst to everybody listening at the Hudson Institute. When he was done with the absurd lie about Judeo-Christian ethical supremacy, he accidentally explained why that would backfire,

but he did that proudly because he's a dumb person who knows about nothing he's saying. He said, quote, there are those that are willing to go for the ends, regardless of what means have to be employed. It depends on who plays by the rules of warfare and who doesn't. There are societies that have a very different foundation than ours.

Sorry, is he proudly claiming and justify the means? No, not even. Bragging about the brand new eye-based vengeance system you're working on. Yeah, he said there are societies that have a very different foundation than ours. And with the help of these new Christo drones, we're going to reduce those societies back down to those foundations. Yeah. Right.

So it's really not clear what he's saying about the ends and the means. Hopefully that Machiavelli part was like a lie instead of a bad strategy that he doesn't understand. Like we'll be evil, but not stupid evil in a Christian way. Like rooting for stuff is weird right now. I don't know what he meant. So I don't know what I'm rooting for, for us strategically. Well, the Washington Post had similar questions as we did. And they reached out to General Moore asking approximately, what the fuck are you talking about? And he responded with an email that said, quote, the Air Force is not going to allow AI to take actions,

nor are we going to take actions on information provided by AI unless we can ensure that the information is in accordance with our values. While this may not be unique to our society, it is not anticipated to be the position of any potential adversary, end quote. So did that help answer any of your questions? If anything, that's worse because, you know, AI knows that you should give trans people health care. Like, I don't know.

Yeah, it does. So obviously, the people writing the code for military computers are not all Judeo-Christian. That's absurd. And that is a very good thing that they're not. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, statistically, those coders are either American atheists or, way more likely, outsourced to India on Fiverr.

So those drones are going to mostly have Hindu values, if anything, which is fine unless you intend to declare war on some cows, I guess. A-I-M become death. Fantastic. Okay, so two big takeaways here. First of all, Richard G. Moore Jr. needs to be in charge of absolutely nothing ever. But as of now, he is a three-star general and the deputy chief of staff for plans and programs for the entire Air Force. That needs to stop being true. But more importantly, one of the big questions in AI is how to program good morality for difficult choices.

And it's so fucking important that we don't use the Bible for any of that. Using the Bible to figure out like trolley dilemma problems is a terrifying bloodbath. Absolutely a horrible idea. Just cheaty, getting showered in blood every time. Lots of people dying that don't deserve it. But when it comes to military AI, it's also terrifying for anybody who lives near a metaphorical train or trolley that represents the entire world in this metaphor. So everybody. And in arms and dangerous news, works better written down, but trust me, it's good.

There are a lot of great charities here in the UK. Some feed the hungry, some clothe the needy, and some send charming British skeptical activists undercover to monitor people who lie about vaccines being a globalistic population plot. So it's all worthy stuff here. Oh boy boy. He's been a full time skeptical advocate for two weeks and he's already whoring himself out at every opportunity. Have some decency, Marge. Save it for May. OK, save it for May. I've been full time since 2014. I just

did other jobs as well. OK, I don't understand how the conspiracy got both of those things the virus and the vaccine my idea was just to keep rolling with the virus and kill the people i feel like the deadly vaccine was redundant and now we're making it harder yeah than it has to be to depopulate right exactly i'm totally on board but the thing is not all charities have such laudable goals as all those and that was a point that was made clear this week when it emerged that the charity regulator for Northern Ireland gave the charitable green light to a religious organization that teaches people how to hunt witches.

I just signed us up right now. I signed us up to be witch hunters. We are learning to be witch hunters now. Look, here's the thing. If it doesn't work, we have funny material for the show. But if it does work, we find hot girls with undercuts.

It's a win, win, win, win, win. In Ireland with that accent? Come on. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So the organization is the Belfast branch of the Nigerian evangelical cult, the Mountain of Fire and Miracle Ministries, who are now an official registered charity,

even though their social media is just filled with posts from their founder, Daniel Kalawale Olukoya, about how to spot a witch. Okay, now I'm picturing those cheesy meet and greet pictures that charities are always putting out, but he's like holding a torch to a pyre instead of cutting a ribbon. And look, just as a side note here, the Facebook page for this charity is called MFM Belfast, which is an initialism that probably gets them a lot more traffic than they expect. I bet their meetups tend to involve a lot of confused, horny Northern Irish guys wondering where all the women are here.

Guys, they're not there for the devil, but for the devil's three way. Yeah. Still signing us up anyway. Except with the accents, for sure. Yeah, absolutely. Hanging out with your bro. So back in April, the group posted an image to their Facebook

promoting Olukaya's sermon about witchcraft, listing the five kinds of witches or familiar spirits, which apparently are, number one, witches by decision, which makes sense, you one, which is by decision, which makes sense, you know, valid career choice. I think they prefer the term hex worker, Mark. Brilliant.

Eli, hex worker. Thank you. Do the rimshot one. No, fuck off. I don't want sad trombone for that. No, sad trombone. That's a good idea. There we go.

So, yeah, which is by decision, number trombone. That's a good idea. Plack-a-da-da-goom. There we go. So, yeah, Witches by Decision, number one. Witches by Inheritance is number two. So I guess Nepo-witches, essentially. Yeah, not Nuvo-witch, but Old Witch. Plack-a-da-da-goom. Splash. Piano stand. Then third, you've got Witches by Covenant,

which it feels a lot like the first one, unless they were entering into that covenant against their will, except no, because the fourth is witches by force. So witches against their will. So the previous one definitely doesn't make any sense. And then finally, unconscious or blind witches. So I guess people who witch

without realizing that they're doing it. Yeah. Hi, Tim. Love you, buddy. I like that there's a witch by, like an angry witch who's just not happy about being a witch, doing it like aloof, like, oh, fuck. Young lady,

you stop that math homework right now, and you get up to your room, and you sacrifice a goat. You're not my real mom. But that Facebook post with all the witches, that wasn't even a one-off, because they also posted a summary of Oluokoya's 11 reasons the enemy gets angry against a person. Okay. Not sure why it's 11.

You know, dualistical is better. Pick a round number. But of the 11, my favorites were when there is an evil promissory note on you from your parents, like, I guess, an IOU1 child. Do they take credit? Do they do that? Okay, if any witches are listening, I'd like to sell you some futures contracts if you're in that market.

Ooh, yeah. Can I short heat having children? My other favorite was when apparently the enemy gets angry when a strongman has been assigned to your life. So just be really careful if you're ever befriended by a guy in a striped unitard carrying one of those Victorian dumbbells with the big round balls on the end. I don't know. Now I'm picturing Tom from Cogdiss. Tom from Cogdiss, yes.

On a penny farthing, for sure. Right? Yep. And then my other favorite was apparently when marine powers supervise the problems you are facing. So if you see like Namor the Submariner snooping around you, or if you're being actively surveilled by a Russian nuclear submarine, apparently you're fucked. So it's all really good practical life advice from the church here.

Okay. Can't Poseidon sit back and chill out with some ASMR slime TikTok without it being a witch thing, Marsh? He's got to rule the whole sea. He needs to relax, Marsh. That's a tough job. He only gets those delightful submersible things once in a while.

He's just doing annoying stuff, paperwork. The thing is, all of this should have been pretty clear signs to the charity commission, the regulator of charities, that MFM aren't really acting for the public benefit as they should be doing. As should the fact that the group's London branch, which had accumulated £3 million in donations, is currently the subject of a four-year investigation by the mainland UK branch of the Charity Commission for serious financial mismanagement and fraud. And then the Liverpool branch was shut down after it was caught offering conversion therapy

sessions to cure homosexuality through prayer and starvation. God, it's so foreign to me as an American that it would be a legal requirement for a charity to do good things that I had no idea where you were going with that sentence until the very end of it. I was like, oh, right. They're supposed to do stuff. They have to do a thing. That's such a good idea

for a country to have as a rule. So they have to do good things. And as of a legal case from 2018, they have to check each charity, make sure it's acting in the public benefit. And that legal case was brought by me. So have that, charity sector. But anyway, I'm sure

the Northern Ireland Charity Commission knows exactly what they're doing. And they've just got a very good reason for rubber stamping this organization. Other than, well, they said Jesus a bunch of times, so we will reckon they were fine fellas, you know. And finally this week in trust defunded news, I bring not just one Irish homophobic Christian bigot charity story for you this week, but two. I bring not just one Irish homophobic Christian bigot charity story for you this week, but two. And no, it's not just because we talked about Ireland in the first of my stories, which means that Eli desperately wanted to do an accent,

but then all the people I talked about were Nigerian, and Eli knows better than to do that accent. And so I just had to kind of throw him this bone to stop him exploding in a horrifying mass of bejesus and begoros. He's shaking right now. Thank you, Marsh. It's a workplace safety issue, don't you know? No, but this week I learned that Barclays Bank has paid a £21,500 settlement to Core Issues Trust, a Christian charity registered in Ireland who claimed to, quote, help people leave LGBT lives, aka conversion therapy.

Okay, well, that sounds a lot like murder, but don't worry, it's only fraud and bigotry. Don't worry. Only fraud and bigotry. Only fraud and bigotry. It's the upside. You see, in July 2020, Barclays decided that they didn't want to be the bank of choice for bigots who think you can pray out the gay. And so they informed the charity that they'd be closing their bank account, which they were entirely allowed to do because despite

what Nigel Farage and the majority of the British culture warrior right have spent the last few weeks claiming here, banks have a right to close your account for any reason as long as they give you notice. Oh, I love when this shit flips around, like when libertarians are like, hey, your choice hurt me. It's, oh, God, I love it. So good. Just as an aside, in the case of Nigel Farage, he's been a cause celebre for the last month at least since he announced that the extra exclusive ultra rich bank Coots had closed his account with them. And the reason that they closed it was actually because they only allow accounts with more than three million pounds in them.

And Nigel Farage's account didn't have that. But apparently, that's an injustice so large that it's become a priority for Rishi Sunak to act on because my country is fucking obscene right now.

Okay, Nigel Farage was like Mr. Brexit, right? Yeah. He should be banned from the pound forever. Any association with that money. He should be banned from the pound forever. Any association with that money. He should be trading cowrie shells and, you know, loose leather and a body joke to pay for stuff for the rest of his life in the UK. OK, now, to be fair, it's the government's fault that I'm not

rich enough is a fantastic slogan for Brexit. He really missed his shot using it back then. But anyway, in the case of Coleridge's trust, Barclays didn't have to give them a reason. They could just close the account of the bigger charity. And by law, that's fine. Except the bigger charity is a Christian bigger charity. And they got to claim persecution, which is their favorite thing to claim. There it is. And so the Christian Legal Center took up the case and they threatened to bring a claim

of religious discrimination by Barclays personally against the charity's chief executive and founder, Michael Davidson. Mike Davidson, unsurprisingly, describes himself as ex-gay. Whereas I, slightly more surprisingly, describe Mike Davidson as

be reasonable episode 54 because I interviewed this bigot Belland back in 2018. Yeah, that's the guy who's super duper clever. We just believe sexuality is a spectrum argument was disarmed by Marsh's clever riposte of, but do you owe? Yeah. So in a statement about the case, Barclays explained that they looked at the cost of defending themselves against this legal case and, you know, probably factored in how much time they'd have to spend in a room with Mike Davidson and decided to just give him 21 grand to make him go away, which was probably something of a bargain, to be honest.

Yeah, totally worth it. Okay. How much to make Nigel Farage go away? Like, maybe we just start buying people out of the economy. That'd be great. Yeah, I was going to say the Capital One that Marsh sent me to just called the cops on me. How do I get that deal? I mean, we can't pay Nigel Farage to go away. We could pay someone else.

But someone say something. No, I love what we've turned you into in these last weeks, free of a day job, Mark. It's a new world. Just joking, just joking, obviously. And of course, Barclays here admitted no fault because they've done nothing wrong.

And they are definitely not going to give Mike Davidson his bank account back. They're just going to put this guy in their permanent out tray. Though Mike would, of course, just insist that he's still in the in tray and just expect us all to pretend that we believe him in that. Mike, are you dry heaving the that he's still in the in-tray and just expect us all to pretend that we believe him in that.

Mike, are you dry heaving the entire time you're in the in-tray? It doesn't matter. I'm still in here. Loving it. Still, Mike Davidson and the Christian Legal Center are now claiming this settlement as a victory for Christianity and as a warning to the government that they've just got to scrap this proposed ban on conversion therapy.

And the thing is, this is a government whose only electoral strategy is to play the populist culture war card at every turn, regardless of whose rights and lives get thrown under the bus. So it wouldn't surprise me

if Mike Davidson gets exactly what he desires. Wait, wait, not that thing he desires. I mean, his other desire, the one he's actually willing to admit about himself. But he's not lying about it. All right, that's going to do it for the headlines. Marsh, Eli, thanks as always. Jumanji. And when we come back, Anna is going to be better at music than the god of the universe. The god awful brand can be summed up in two words, The Godawful brand can be summed up in two words, confidence and atrocity. That also works for religion as a whole, but especially for modern Christian music. Godawful music.

It's a big fucking swing and a big fucking miss almost every single time with tragically delightful consequences for us to enjoy. delightful consequences for us to enjoy. And even better, we get to hear from the Anna Bosnick in both roast form and musical form sometimes. Anna, welcome back. We got a god awful music. Oh my God, Heath. I am so happy to be here. I have been wanting to be here in this spot doing just this, nothing but this for so long. Fantastic. This choice is so, so good. I can't wait. But first, let's point out that Eli is still here. Eli, hello. Okay. We're just going to move right past it and I'm bleeping all of it It's all getting bleeped Eli made a noise with a board thingy again So Anna What musical hate crime

Against Rocky 3 and my entire youth Are we going to be breaking down today The Eye of the Tiger The Christian version As performed by Hayley and Nick Gaglione In that order Of the band Two for Christ. This woman might as well be my nemesis. Really? I'm not going to lie. She's an incredible singer. And she wrote the Christian lyrics to this Eye of the Tiger so well that for a while,

I thought I'd missed that Eye of the Tiger was a Christian song this whole time. And I just hadn't noticed. But man, if she didn't let her husband come up on that stage too with her, wow. Yeah. Wowie. He's also there. It doesn't go well. Ooh. And this one came with a music video and some Chinese government spyware.

So that was nice, right? Yes, that's right. This one's from TikTok. I have been actually wanting to do this one since january thank you everybody by the way who sent this to me on tiktok and tagged me in it and was like oh my god you should do this oh my god you should do this earlier this year in january this went viral and i hopped on it like a ravenous honey badger, but no sooner had I come up with the most brilliant parody I'd ever done, it disappeared

into the YouTube copyright sensor abyss, and I was heartbroken. Boo. But I'm very happy to say that it is back, and it is just as incredible as I remember. Unboo. And thank you again to everybody who sent this to me on TikTok. Believe me, I knew and I was gonna Unboo. And thank you again to everybody who sent this to me on TikTok. Believe me,

I knew and I was going to do it. Great. Great work sending this one over. It made me so happy to watch this. The video's the best. So,

if you want to check out that video, we'll have a link in the show notes. Just get yourself a brand new computer or phone, air-gapped,

watch the video and then throw that device in the garbage made of a magnetic compressor, super bleach, whatever you got to do. Just cover it in tinfoil, pop it in the microwave for like 30 seconds. There you go.

Like 30. On high? On high. Yeah. It's going to be a whole thing, but it's going to be worth it. It's an amazing video. Oh my God.

So the video starts with a little preamble about how the song that they're stealing is stolen for Jesus. And then the lead singer Hailey says, So the video starts with a little preamble about how the song that they're stealing is stolen for Jesus. And then the lead singer, Hailey, says, when you guys hear it, you'll know it. And then they start dancing. This segment might as well be called God Awful Moving. It's rough.

Dance moves brought to you by your local middle school homecoming dance. I will just say that. Yes. Absolutely. I, Heathelton Bethesda Enright, am judging the dance moves. Yep. That's how bad they are. Yeah, for sure.

This gentleman cannot get his feet to move in sync with the music. And he's trying. He's trying. He's trying so hard. He couldn't even get the fist pump. It was so sad. He tries to do a fist pump right at the beginning. He starts way too early.

Then the music comes in and he somehow got more off time once there was music. It was so bad. They had to do an edit in the video four seconds in to like figure out what was happening with that. It was incredible. If someone says we can fix it in post about your fist pump, you know you've chosen the wrong medium to convey salvation in. There was like a wipe with like a filter of a different color and they changed the sink up a little bit. And then the fist pump is working for a second,

but then it's immediately not. So this is when we get the amazing lyrics coming in. Mostly from Survivor. It's just a lot of the original by Survivor. But with the occasional Christian twist on it. Oh, yeah. Eli, would you like to be our designated sing talker? Yes, please. Thank you so much. Great.

Rising up, back on my feet, got knocked down, rose above it. Okay, right away, switching it off. Yeah, yeah, lyrics. But this man, this man is clapping like a wind-up cymbal monkey. He's miming out the lyrics. It's phenomenal.

He really is, yeah. I like that he's emotionally recovered from being knocked down. I was hoping he would, you know. He rose above it. And he got even further off time with the clapping. It was like Will Ferrell on Cowbell Sketch. Worse and worse. I couldn't deal with it. It continues,

went the distance. I won't take no defeat. I will thrive. I will not just survive. Okay, and this is where he's been clapping this whole time. He started with the fist pump. Now he's clapping, but now he gives up on the clapping.

He thinks about doing the cabbage patch for half a second. You can see him start it. And then he's like, nope, that'll go badly. Gives up right after the cabbage patch. And then he just runs in place for a second. But oh my God, it's my favorite part coming up. It's my favorite part. Oh my God.

This is his rap break. Yeah, Eli, this is very important that you do an accurate impression of the rapping. Yeah, of course. I've been training for years. Yeah, exactly. This is very important that you do an accurate impression of the rapping. Yeah, of course. I've been I've been training for me. Oh, yes. Listen, always a great way to start a rap. Before I was Christian, something was missing, felt a little distant, dark, resistant. And I wrote in my notes at this point is dark, resistant code for racist because I feel like you're still that if it is it's not a great code all brain power was gone

into memorizing this rap and remembering the lyrics from it no left for body points seem cool we'll point yep yeah definitely he's trying so hard to say like rappity rap rap pokey pokey left foot in

and stay in rhythm or hurt myself and point and point. He just lands on point eventually because that's all he's got. Exactly. He's doing a lot of pointing

to the audience. He points up. He points down. He points to his head. Oh, yeah. Thinking. Thinking points to your head. You watch him run out of places

to point and repeat himself. It's pretty magical. Absolutely. He continues, got a new vision, made a decision, wrote my goals. Yeah, I wrote my mission. BC, I was

aimlessly walking. Fun fact, because also has two syllables. So he could have just said because. Okay, maybe though, maybe he means before Christ. Is there any chance that he just conversationally says just said because they're okay maybe though maybe he means before christ is there anything like bc you know before i got saved i did things like this no question this guy has used the term bc as slang to a youth group before and then i assume gotten hit with a bunch of people and i

hope so so wait let me take it back so we don't miss it. BC, I was aimlessly walking. Then one day I heard the voice of God talking, rise up child to the enemy mocking. I just like that God opened up with people are going to laugh at you for this, but God is not wrong in this context. No, good point. And I enjoyed that the dance move for enemy mocking was him miming a sock puppet. Was miming a sock puppet, yes. So good. Which means that that's either the enemy mocking him or God speaking to him. We may never know.

Same. Anyways, he continues, prayer is your weapon. Pray without stopping. He's Prayer Hulk. His secret is he's always praying. You wouldn't like me if I prayed. And he's right, to be fair. Yeah.

And that's the end of his little rap segment. He's going to have one little burst coming up later, but he's so fucking happy he made it through the big rapping part. Yeah. I'm so sorry to say this, Keith, but big golden retriever energy. Oh, sure. How dare you? Yeah.

Stupid, stupid golden retriever. I love golden retrievers too much to give him full credit for that. I was going to say, how dare you? No, no, no. I did. Do you see me? I did my part. I did my part.

He has the energy of a stupid golden retriever who's going to cause trouble right now. That I agree with for sure. And so he gets through it. He's all excited. He does a pump fake like he's going to crowd surf for a second. Like he actually goes out there and his shoulder goes forward. He's like, ah, nope, that would be dumb. There's definitely not a full audience.

Everyone will drop me again. Yeah. Let's be clear. There are about three geriatric people in this audience. Yeah. They're just going to wait for you to hit the ground and then sprinkle some gold dust on your dick, man. We know how that 100% that would happen. That all goes through his head.

He stops just in time. And then he turns around and he does a little like victory lap about his rap segment running in place. He's just like bouncing, bouncing, bouncing. He does. And he smiles really big at his wife. Acting out Rocky. Like a fight from Rocky. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Right. Yeah. He was doing Rocky three. It's true. Okay. Well, now we get the chorus, mostly from Survivor. So this goes, it's the eye of the tiger.

It's the thrill of the fight. Familiar with that one. Rising up to the challenge of our rival. Okay. fight familiar with that one rising up to the challenge of our rival okay so exact same lyrics as the original so far except here it comes with the heart of a lion switching it up um hey katie perry this song is about tigers get your fucking lion propaganda out of here and the armor of god you will conquer it all with the eye of the tiger meanwhile dude is like yeah i did my part did you see me look at that shirt look at my shirt look what i can do parkour kung fu parkour i was really hoping he was going to go on to explain all the rest of the parts of the armor of god

fucking powers okay well i'm still picturing the plot of rocky three as i'm listening to all this oh absolutely so our guy just walked into the ring, now, Eli, that you said that, with the breastplate of righteousness and the, like, wrist guards of homophobia or whatever the fuck it is. And then Mr. T just punched him in the face right away. Right away.

Straight away. Absolutely. Yeah. All right, back to these verses. Face to face with Satan himself. They have choreography. This is... They do. They have choreography. This is... They do.

They have choreography. They worked on this. They worked very hard on it. They worked on this together. They did run throughs. This is what they do instead of having sex. Yeah. Yeah.

No question. Well, actually, Nick, right? Nick is the husband. He got way too excited here and he showed up way too early for the face to face moment of the choreography where they like stand face-to-face. Yeah, and so she turns and he almost headbutts her by accident.

So he's already like right next to her and he's just like marching in place and she's like not looking at him at first. She's like, it's not there yet. Do more. And then finally they do it. So yeah, face-to-face with Satan himself. Don't budge an inch. He'll take miles.

He'll find your weakness. He will hit where it hurts. She ball taps him. She 100% ball taps him during this time. I like A, that that's how Satan does it in their canon here. Satan ball taps you. He just like does

little slap fight. Yeah. No, the ultimate adversary is doing nut checks. All below the waist. But my favorite part is that he actually got hit in the balls and it hurt. Absolutely. So he was like, stop, too hard, too hard, too hard. And you see him like curl away. Truly the only thing that could have made this better is if he just lied on his side for the rest of the song.

Oh. It was close to that. All right. Sorry. Don't budge an inch. He'll take miles. He'll find your weakness. He will hit where it hurts.

Stand your ground. Make him run for the... Hills? Hiles? Hills. Yikes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The guy looks again for a second

like he's going to try to crowd surf on those three geriatric people in the front row. But then he's like, ah, nah, I don't give a fuck. Let's take the stairs. He does it again. Because he's like, ah, nah. He goes and takes the stairs. Because he's going into the audience for some fucking rile-em-up time. God, they should not

show the wide shot with the audience. It's too real. It's so sad. It's a poor choice. It's like how it started, how it's going for Christianity between the crowd and the stage. It's so bad. It's like when they do an accidental pullback shot of a Trump rally and you realize it's just like a square of people behind him in an empty stadium.

Right. Yeah. Anyways, it's the eye of the tiger. It's the thrill of the fight rising up to the challenge of our rival. If you cast all your cares on him, she wrote my notes, cast what thesaurus page did this dude find in a dumpster while writing this song? Well, I mean,

the Bible in a dumpster, I guess. You're supposed to cast all your cares on the Lord, I think, in Peter or whatever, but they forgot they're still talking about Satan. Oh, God. Just now, the challenge of our rival. So it's flipped. They're stupid.

I think that was supposed to be a capital h oh on him you can't tell on him you gotta say it with a capital h then maybe they should have wrapped this part if you cast all your cares on him and pray through the night you will conquer it all with the eye of the tiger of the tiger yeah okay so you know when you go to the dog park and there's that one big dog that has like has that i've been trapped in the house all week kind of energy and they're like not being scary aggressive but it's definitely intense enough for you to like worry about whether this is the before time and they're like shaking with it and they just can't hold it in well this woman married that pitbull sure did yeah exactly and then they choreograph with it and they just can't hold it in. Well, this woman married that pitbull.

Sure did. Yeah, exactly. And then they choreographed a dance together. And then let it loose in a church song. Yeah, and then she let him loose into the audience, we find out here. I thought she had kicked him off stage right before this because he just leaves. And it looks like she like says something in his ear. And she's like, okay, time for your crate, buddy.

It's crate time. You're a little too jumpy, right? What do we say? You go in the crate. I was surprised he hadn't torn off his shirt at this point. And I was worried because there was like, there were at least two oxygen tanks in that audience.

There absolutely were. Yeah. But now we see him again. He's out in the audience. I guess it was on purpose. He's in the crowd giving high fives to old people way too fucking aggressively. Scaring the shit out of these old people. Running up and down the aisles. And he ends with one. Jumping over

pews. One big slap where he like looks away and starts running back to the stage as he does a slap and I think he just hits somebody in the face because they weren't ready. Here in Tend and Snap. Rising up straight to the top fight for Christ give him glory go the distance don't

retreat never stop for the Lord always wins Fight for Christ. Give him glory. Go the distance. Don't retreat. Never stop. For the Lord always wins in the end. If the all powerful being needs you to fight for him, he's either lazy or not at all powerful. Yes. Very good point. Yeah. And oh, this is one of my favorite parts physically in the video. This is where Nick tries to throw a t-shirt into the crowd

dramatically. But he didn't like ball it up or like put rubber bands around it after being rolled or anything. So the big throw

goes so very badly because you can't throw a t-shirt hard like that. You're going to hurt. You're going to throw out your arm and he throws out his arm. Yeah, it just like cartwheels in the thing and then falls straight.

So bad. I just want to add one positive thing, too. I feel like we're being super mean. Compliment sandwich, obviously. I like that Hailey's shirt is also a cape. I like her shirt. Oh, yeah. We don't see enough of those.

I actually, fun fact, because I'm so obsessed with this this performance i watched the whole thing there's like a there's a youtube video of the entire concert this is part of a concert yes it is a full-length concert it's at least an hour all right well god awful concerts is a thing now there's a reading in it that she does like a thing where she brings someone for the audience and they read parts of the bible and like a whole thing like an imaginary don't kill your babies thing. Anyway. I will rent a limo

and we will show up to these things live. I want to do that movie as a full length God awful movies. But. Absolutely not. She's wearing.

It's true. I get too excited. I get too much golden retriever energy and you wouldn't know what to do. I would like a smack match out of the house or something. Time for crate?

Oh, exactly. Go out? No, she's wearing it from the dream coat. What's the one that wore the big gave coat? Liberace. No, the Bible guy. Elton John. Joseph. Joseph and the Technicolor dream coat. Yeah, she was doing something

from that and so she wore a Technicolor dream coat. I still think it's Liberace. Anyways, moving on. Anyway, sorry. The eye of the tiger is the thrill of the fight, rising up to the challenge of our rival with the heart of a lion. Okay, so wait, wait, wait. I figured this one out. The dude has a YouTube channel called Lift with Christ.

And he made shirts that say heart of a lion, eye of the tiger. Yeah, he does. On them. Because I guess he's a cat boy. I don't know. Oh my God, this channel is so amazing. Come on. Anna, did you look through this channel at all?

Yes, I did. Of course I did. Are you kidding? Because this fucking disappeared. What else was I going to do? Just hunt for two for Christ to see what everything that they did. To see if there was another one that was like it. I have been obsessing over this for months. Okay. Half a year. This is

Lift With Christ. Lift With Christ. It is indeed like I was hoping when I saw this in Anna's notes that it was a Christian themed weightlifting channel. Yes, it is. And then I was hoping after I saw some of this song that he would be rapping during the lifting and she would be singing. And yes, all that has happened. It's amazing. I just wrote down one. I think this is my favorite rhyme that he wrote. He's got really good bars.

Jesus is my broccoli, chicken, and rice. Ladies and gentlemen, lift with Christ. He raps that. Okay, hey, if I can part the curtain slightly, ladies and gentlemen lift with Christ he wraps that okay hey if I can part the curtain slightly we've been trying to think of a new t-shirt because you guys have bought all the ones that we made like however many years ago

and if that new t-shirt isn't Jesus is my broccoli chicken and rice ladies and gentlemen lift with Christ we're sitting on a fucking gold mine here like we just found it actually they are because they would sue us immediately are you talking gentlemen, lift with Christ. I don't know. We're sitting on a fucking goldmine here. Like, we just found it. We found it. Actually, they are because they would sue us immediately.

Are you talking about the greatest thing that would ever happen to our podcast? Ever? Getting sued by these people? I would challenge them to a rap battle slash trial. Don't make her real universe my nemesis. I think we need to dojo storm them and do that, Eli. Yes. I'm scared that she actually universe my nemesis. I think we need to dojo storm them and do that, Eli.

Yes. I'm scared that she actually is my nemesis. She's got an amazing voice. I would have to like rap battle her or something or sing off. Don't worry. We will make you do a sing off with the cape lady. And then we fight them. Exactly.

And the armor of God, you will conquer it all with the eye of the tiger. We've heard that them. Exactly. And the armor of God, you will conquer it all with the eye of the tiger. We've heard that one. Yeah. And now, oh, this is time for another rap verse. Oh, yeah. Here we go. Best. Worst.

Keep your eyes on God and your heart in the word. Be a leader in Christ or follow with the herd. Okay. Can we stop and talk about the timing of this? Because we've mentioned before he is not great with tempo. She counts him off. She knows that he's going to come in late because he always comes in late. Let's be honest.

Because he's an idiot. He waits a solid beat after she's like, go. And then he starts the pickup half a beat after the downbeat. So my face melted off. Sometimes Anna will come home from one of her weird folk music things and she'll be like, oh, I learned a slip jig

from the Smunden Finden people. That's what he was performing. Like a shakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabakadabak It's 4-4! Kicking a fucking clock board or whatever while you're doing it. It's 4-4. He's off by a lot, but he's proud of himself because in his head, he was within the margin of error of one entire beat, I guess, in his head. In his head, he's like, I didn't sing over her. Yeah, go me. I did it. High five.

Self five. And again, giant smile at Hailey. Oh my God. And she fucking hates him. She does. Right next to her doing a giant smile. They rehearsed for so long and he blew it. But then he

does like a forward thing. So I'm going to do it in context so everyone can really get the meaning here. So it's keep your eyes on God and your heart on the word. Be a leader in Christ or follow the herd. The eye of the tiger. The eye of the tiger. Right. Exactly. Always walk by faith. Never walk by sight with the armor of God. You'll never lose the fight. The eye of the tiger. Right, exactly. Always walk by faith, never walk

by sight with the armor of God. You'll never lose the fight. He fucking does it again. He does it twice. He does it twice. Just like he did. You know how he's like, eye of the never ducked down. He's supposed to go over tiger. Nick, get the fuck off the stage. Go back in the crate.

This video will be featured two places, our podcast and their divorce trial, where she will win no contest based on his rhythm. And then we get one last The Eye of the Tiger. Oh, yeah.

And they go back to back freeze frames. Yep. Yep, yep, yep. Yep, yep, yep. Like the end of a sitcom or something. It's the best.

And one other thing, this is very important, just in case anybody's looking for some sweet merch from them. Oh, this is very important, just in case anybody's looking for some sweet merch from them. Oh, I am. Yeah, you can use the code 24Christ to get 24% off at twoforchrist.org

spelled out two for Christ. Wait, no you can't. Their site is down. Their site is down. What went through my head at the end of this, I was like, oh, I'm going to check out this merch. Nope. Nope. They don't have their own site. Wait for us to rip it off. We're going to rip it off, everybody. It's going to be great. Eli, go buy it right now.

Two for Christ. Oh, can I buy it? I will buy it right fucking now. They don't have com. They have.org. See if twoforchrist.org or.com is available. You guys do the podcast. Okay, we'll do the podcast. Get Lift for Christ and the other one. Yes. Oh, yeah. Lift with Christ, not for. I'm on it. Don't worry. Okay. All right. right well it's time for the best part we're gonna hear how anna fixed this

horrible fucking cover song so aw shucks what's the name of your new version okay this is called the eye of revival excellent and because i haven't done this in the past, shout out to the amazing musicians who helped me with this one. Okay. Colin Forhan, who has played guitar on this and the last few that I've done this year. Colin? Ooh! Yeah. Colin Forhan. Thank you.

He made like the Isaiah song just brilliant. It made it pop. Anyway. And I also used, for the first time, I used Brandon Vanpool and Drake Metcalf of Canada who did the drums and bass for this. For Canada. Yeah. Sorry about it. Sorry, not sorry. You want to like give us a cue into yourself? Oh, yeah. Hit it. Me. rising up they're back on the streets They got their cansets and their Bibles These modern pop songs are just filled with deceit And sexual content, it swears

Yeah, leave it to a Christian to be more of a bitch Than the fucking Federal Communications Commission Tryna spread the gospel, thinking that it's possible By changing all the lyrics into something Pentecostal. It's a big ick. Kinda makes me sick, turning every song into a Sky Daddy fanfic. Marketing it cleverly but good it'll never be. Save us cause I'm drowning

in your small dick energy. If the eye of the public likes a secular song, Christian parents will see that as a rival. And to make sure they're happy when their kids sing along. Nothing's sacred or safe or secure from revival. Try to protect your favorite boy band.

Cause nothing is safe from conversion. boy band, cause nothing is safe from conversion. Yeah, every singer, rapper, diva, or star gets a made-for-Christian version in the end. In the eye of the public,

if a new song hits the jock store, an up-and-coming artist goes viral. You can bet your local pastor will flip right in his shorts until Cardi Beyonce even share. Get a revival

Make them all sound the same, make them boring as fuck Take out everything original and make them all suck Take any good song, pull most of it out Then fill it with cliches until I wanna blow my brains out. Get a revival Three, four, or make it so they aren't even rapping on the downbeat. Maybe hire a musician instead

of an athlete? I'm starting to spiral. Fuck. So good. Love that song. And that's all the blasphemy we've got for you tonight. We'll be back in 10,022 minutes with more. If you can't wait that long, be on the lookout for a

brand new episode of our sister show, The Skeptocrat, debuting at 7 a.m. Eastern on Monday. An even newer episode of our sister show's hot friend Godawful Movies, debuting at 7 a.m. Eastern on Tuesday. And an even newer episode of our half-sister show, Citation Needed, debuting at noon Eastern on Wednesday. Big thanks to Marsh and Eli, and of course to all the new Patreon

donors who will be personally complimented next time around by Noah. And if you're feeling financially benevolent like those fine people, you can make a per-episode donation at patreon.com slash scathingatheist and that'll get you early access to an ad-free version of every episode. You can also make a one-time donation by clicking on the donate button on the

right side of the homepage at scathingatheist.com. And if you don't have the money for giving us money, we get it. You can also help a ton by leaving us a five-star review, telling a friend about the show, and following us on social media. And speaking of social media, Tim Robertson handles that for us. And our audio engineer is Morgan Clark, who also wrote all the music used in this episode, which was used with permission.

If you have questions, comments, or death threats, you'll find all the contact info on the contact page at skatingatheist.com. Hey Morgan Sorry there's Technical difficulties Within our control All you have to do is You know delete The files off the card

Or use a new one You do it I do want to get A USD card Because the card or use a new one. You do it. I do want to get a USD card because this one holds like a 256 megabyte card. Oh, but it didn't come with the card? No, it didn't come with a fucking plug. It didn't come with a plug? Yeah, you had to order the plug separately.

Okay. This is totally worth it, though, for that trombone earlier. That's awesome. Thank you. This is not a giant pain in the ass for that. Okay. You're a giant pain in the ass. For that. That's pretty good. Your mom's a giant pain in the ass for that trombone earlier. That's awesome. Thank you. This is not a giant pain in the ass for that. Okay. You're a giant pain in the ass. For that. That's pretty good. Your mom's a giant pain in the ass for that. Solid. Solid. Thank you. Okay.

Love it. Love it. That was good. It's so good. Anna, this is fucking awesome. Oh my God. Oh my God. And I have to tell you this. The TikTok that they have, you should start TikTok by the way, just as follow two for Christ

because they now have a TikTok and it shows his brand new rap videos that he now does. Fucking amazing. He has a rap career now. Anyway. Oh my God. This is everything.

This is like the show now. Fucking friendly atheist interviewed them and was super nice to them and they were super nice to him and it made me feel really bad about doing this. But then they were like, it was like, oh yeah, you're joking about the Trump thing, right? And they were like, no, we love what Trump is doing. And I felt better about it again.

Okay. Yeah. No, I have no more sympathy ever for you ever. Yeah, exactly. Iown2forgrace.com. Yay! Fantastic. This is so good.

They just bought the.org because they're idiots. And I've just filed a complaint with GoDaddy that they're not a registered charity, which they are. They just probably bought it on their own,

so I'm going to take it from them. Oh, my God. And I guarantee you they didn't register as a charity. No, no. I don't know how much money we have to waste. I don't care.

Yes, thank you. You're right there with me. I'll pour, I don't know how much money we have to waste. We'll make a fucking charity. I don't care. Yes, I was. Thank you. You're right there with me. I'll pour, I'll ladle soup just to do this prank. It doesn't, yeah, we'll do,

we'll literally change Vulgarity for Charity to Two for Christ. Three. If that's what it takes. I mean, that sounds great, Keith. Because of what I just said.

Sorry. I didn't answer your question at all. I'm going to, I'm going to do it again. Morgan just said. Sorry. I didn't answer your question at all. I'm going to do it again. Morgan, sorry. Sorry. I'm going to say something as if Marsh talked

to acknowledge that he talked interrogatively at me. I'm very particular about my kitchen, apparently, in this universe. And your pensioning forks. Sorry I yelled at you. Sorry I laughed out and called you an idiot.

In front of factory heat. No, you stupid fuck. Of course they have your vegetarian stuff. I don't know why I got all mad. The preceding podcast was a production of

Puzzle and a Thunderstorm LLC. Copyright 2023. All rights reserved.