The Scathing Atheist - 547: Bureau of Atheism Edition

Episode Date: August 10, 2023

In this week’s episode, Connecticut rules on plague freedoms, an airline gets sentenced to Christianity, and Don Ford will be here just in case the COVID gets me before we reach the outro. --- To make a per episode donation at Patreon.com, click here: http://www.patreon.com/ScathingAtheist To buy our book, click here: https://www.amazon.com/Outbreak-Crisis-Religion-Ruined-Pandemic/dp/B08L2HSVS8/ If you see a news story you think we might be interested in, you can send it here: [e-mail] To check out our sister show, The Skepticrat, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/the-skepticrat To check out our sister show’s hot friend, God Awful Movies, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/god-awful-movies To check out our half-sister show, Citation Needed, click here: http://citationpod.com/ To check out our sister show’s sister show, D and D minus, click here: https://danddminus.libsyn.com/ To hear more from our intrepid audio engineer Morgan Clarke, click here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/ --- Guest Links: Check out the Fuel Your Fandom podcast here: https://fuelyourfandom.buzzsprout.com/ --- Headlines: Republicans outing in-danger atheists to score political points: https://www.friendlyatheist.com/p/desperate-to-show-democrats-are-promoting Appeals court upholds ban on religious vaccine exemptions in CT: https://www.insurancejournal.com/news/east/2023/08/07/734130.htm Employes fired for objecting to mandatory prayer meetings win 50K in court https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2023/08/07/atheist-worker-prayer-discrimination-settlement/ Sound of Freedom funder Fabian Marta arrested for child kidnapping: https://www.newsweek.com/sound-freedom-funder-fabian-marta-arrest-child-kidnapping-1817498?amp=1 Judge orders lawyers to attend ADF “Religious Freedom” class: https://news.bloomberglaw.com/ip-law/southwests-lawyers-must-take-adf-religion-classes-judge-say "Wisdom University" has to stop claiming to offer degrees: http://religionclause.blogspot.com/2023/08/court-upholds-accreditation-requirement.html?lctg=195322114 Fox Op-Ed: “Maybe the aliens are Jesus!” https://www.foxnews.com/opinion/the-bibles-explainer-on-ufos

Warning, if you're offended by vulgar language, you might want to lay back on your fainting couch in advance. This week's episode of The Scathing Atheist is brought to you by HelloFresh. And by the fact that the boosters are keeping my latest case of COVID relatively mild. COVID boosters, helping to bring you dick jug variety since 2021. And now, The Scathing Atheist. Hey, this is Jim, the co-host of the Feel Your Fandom podcast, where everything is fandom and fandom is everything. And now, The Skating Atheist. Monkey people. It's Thursday. It's August 10th.

And it's Duran Duran Appreciation Day. All right. Cannot promise I'll save a prayer, but I am hungry like the wolf. I figured you. Maybe I'm the only one who did the hair. I'm no illusions. I'm Eli Bosnick. I did the same thing.

I'm Heath Enright. And from Thomas Edison's New Jersey, Ann Arbor, Michigan, and Waycross, Georgia, this is The Scathing Atheist. On this week's episode, Connecticut rules on plague freedoms. An airline gets sentenced to Christianity. That's weird. And Don Ford will be here just in case the COVID gets me before we reach the outro. But first, the diatribe. One of our goals on this show is to let you know what the fuck your stupid uncle is babbling about before he even starts babbling about it.

To disambiguate the lie du jour of the Christian right so that you're not caught entirely off guard. Well, the latest rant that Fox News is going to implement in your stupid uncle is the idea that the State Department is promoting atheism. And we actually talked about the inciting incident on this over a year ago on Skeptocrat, but here's the actual story, right? So the State Department has a branch called the Bureau of Democracy, Human Rights Rights and Labor, which is tasked with, according to their mission statement, bolstering democracy, promoting accountability, upholding internationally recognized labor standards and advancing the rights and equity of, quote, members of marginalized racial, ethnic and religious communities, indigenous persons, persons with disabilities and LGBTQI plus persons, end quote. persons with disabilities, and LGBTQI plus persons, end quote. So you can already see why it's in the Christian rights crosshairs, right? Anyway, back in 2021, that bureau publicly offered $500,000 in grants to groups,

quote, promoting and defending religious freedoms inclusive of atheists, humanists, non-practicing, and non-affiliated individuals, end quote. Which is a big deal, right? This is foreign aid money. It was meant to go to some of the many places where very often apostasy can merit a death sentence or otherwise heinously abrogated person's rights. Now, notice the wording here, right? Because this is important.

The grants were to support groups that were, quote, promoting and defending religious freedom that includes dot, dot, dot, all these different terms for atheism, right? That's entirely different than promoting atheism. But that's too subtle a distinction for the GOP's cultural warrior leaders, or more accurately, it's too subtle a distinction for those leaders to assume their constituency is going to notice. So about a year later, this Republican congressman first sees this shit. is going to notice.

So about a year later, this Republican congressman first sees this shit. He starts accusing Biden's State Department of promoting atheism abroad. Specifically, Indiana Representative Jim Banks sent a letter to Secretary of State

Antony Blinken demanding to know why the State Department had, used appropriated funds to support atheism and radical progressive orthodoxy across the world, end quote.

That radical orthodoxy across the world, end quote. That radical orthodoxy, presumably being not murdering people for leaving their dad's religion. In the letter, Banks says that the Bureau's actions would, quote, be analogous to official State Department promotion of religious freedom, particularly for Christians in China, end quote. But it wouldn't, right? The analogy, given the actual fucking wording in the notice of funding opportunity, would be to official State Department promotion of religious freedom inclusive of Christians in China, which the State Department does all the fucking time. Friend of the show, Hemant Mehta, did a pretty extensive write-up on this on his sub-stack, where he cited numerous examples of this very same bureau

offering funding up specifically to Christian minorities, Muslim minorities, and Hindu minorities as though they're promoting religious freedom regardless of the religion, which is, of course, according to my math, a prerequisite to promoting religious freedom. Now, for their part, the State Department didn't bother to respond officially to Banks' stupid fucking letter because they recognized it to be the publicity stunt that it was. But that prompted more asshole Republicans to jump on board with the accusation. In February of this year, Chairman of the House Foreign Affairs Committee, Mike McCaul, sent another letter with the same spurious accusations,

the same twisted logic, and the same demands for disclosure. And look, that sounds like a reasonable request, right? Congress wants to know where the taxpayers' money is going. That's kind of their job. Except in this case, as you'll recall, the money was earmarked for groups that were promoting atheist inclusivity in places where that shit can get you killed. the world into fucking godless commies. But despite the risk of disclosure, the State Department did ultimately respond to McCaul by basically saying, OK, fine, here you go. Just don't, you know, put this information in a press release for the whole world to see. So they put it in a press release for the whole world to see. Specifically, he named Humanist International as a recipient, possibly the only recipient, we don't know. And Humanist International, I guess,

passed the money along to affiliated groups in Nepal and Sri Lanka, which McCall also mentioned, up to and including some details of a training meeting in Kathmandu that definitely should not have been publicized. Basically, he risked the lives of atheist activists to score some political points with a misrepresentation of the

State Department's actions. And a misrepresentation of what religious freedom even fucking means. Because here's the thing. Throughout this press release, McCall tries to tarnish Humanist International by pointing out that they work with groups to promote atheism. He specifically mentions the American Humanist Association and American Atheists. These are groups that he says, quote, often take actions which are antithetical to the idea of religious freedom end quote to be clear when he says that he means stuff like trying to keep mandatory prayer out of

schools and religious displays off of public property actions which are precisely and exactly i don't know fucking thetical to the idea of religious freedom right they are religious freedom that's what the term means no matter how many times you try to redefine it because to the idea of religious freedom. Right? They are religious freedom. That's what the term means no matter how many times you try to redefine it. Because here's the bug in their logical program.

They cannot see the difference between promoting the freedom of atheists and the denigration of their religion. To them, that's the same thing. I mean, yes,

all the other religions also preclude the truth of their faith, right? But they do it from a place of equal bullshit. Atheism threatens Christianity in a far more fundamental way because atheism is true. And promoting that truth necessarily threatens the religion in a way that no other religion could. But despite their legitimate fears and their illegitimate logic, it is perfectly possible to be an atheist without being an atheist at them. I mean, I don't do that, but other atheists do, a lot of other

atheists, most other atheists. But atheists are like the quiet guy at the party, right? They're a place to project all your insecurities. They're a place to put all your doubts. They're a conclusion that you fear. And so when you correct your stupid uncle and tell him that the State Department isn't promoting atheism, they're promoting religious freedom, which necessarily includes atheism, don't expect him to understand the difference. Joining me for headlines tonight are the hour hand and minute hand of my second hand heath enright and eli bosnick fellas are you ready to clock in yes slow and girthy never fails indeed hour hand i can't believe you missed the chance to call heath the tall one you are slipping no

illusions our slipping hours are longer any oh, so while I come to grips with my mental decline. Temporally tall. I suppose we should take a break for a word from this week's sponsor, HelloFresh. Okay, and what's after crab legs? The pasta bar? Pasta? Are you

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Just go to HelloFresh.com slash 50scathing and use the code 50scathing for 50% off plus free shipping. So I go to HelloFresh.com slash 50scathing and use the code 50scathing for 50% off plus free shipping? That's right. Hey, Noah,

where are you going to eat at all those Vegas buffets? Is there any chance one of them has like a Hot Pocket fountain? Hot Pocket bar? No, I don't think so. Maybe someday. Yeah, someday. And now, back to the headlines.

In our lead story tonight, according to the Second Circuit Court of Appeals, there's at least one way in which religious people aren't allowed to kill me with their stupidity. And we learned that last Friday when the court upheld a 2021 Connecticut law that eliminated the religious exemption from immunization requirements in schools. So at least for now, there is a limit to how disease-ridden kids can be before their parents send them into the festering petri dish of public education, which is a step in the right direction from the nadir of sanity that we currently occupy. Yes. It's tricky one.

Is there a compelling public interest in avoiding mass death? We better check with some legal scholars and the founding fathers on this one because that's hard to decide. I mean, to be fair, right now, you're dealing with your second bout of COVID. So they're really losing their right not to be killed by you,

which is almost as sad if you think about it. No, that's true though. Yeah. So one of the most important consequences of the COVID pandemic in America is the way that it focused our attention on religious exemptions to vaccination requirements, mostly for bad, but also for good here and there. On the bad side, murderously ignorant Christians all over the red state

suddenly found a long-lost biblical clause that radically shifted their sincerely held beliefs in the way most likely to own the libs, and the actual number of religious vaccine exemptions skyrocketed. But to a lesser extent, this renewed focus forced rational Americans who might not have been aware of the it's okay to give my kids measles if Jesus says so clause to reevaluate its utility. And at least in Connecticut, that led to revoking the exemption altogether.

And of course, that led to a bunch of disease-riddled Christians protesting in the streets. Yeah, try that in a small town. Like, seriously, you'll fit right in. No, yeah, no, it'd be great. Yeah, it's a great way to get sick. Just once, I would like to see the I get my religious beliefs from memes on Facebook protesters

treated half as badly as the please stop murdering us protesters. Right? It'd be such a refreshing change. No shit. Now, the plaintiffs in this suit included a group called We the Patriots USA Inc. Come on. So stupid.

Right. Already, you're the fucking bad guys. I'd venture to say it is impossible to simultaneously want both to be called We the Patriots USA Inc. and any single public good. You're going to Walmart's trying to redeem Trump bucks if you're involved in that. For sure.

No question. Sign in your name in lowercase. So yeah, that should have been plenty to find against him. But the court actually did a whole fucking law thing and found that, quote, only one court, state or federal,

trial or appellate, has ever found a plausible claim of a constitutional defect in a state school vaccination mandate on account of the absence or repeal of a religious exemption.

End quote. Not adding, and that court was probably in fucking Idaho or some dumb shit. Clarence Thomas rises out of his coffin. Did someone call for me? Wait, who do you think Clarence Thomas rises out of his coffin. Did someone call for me?

Wait, who do you think Clarence Thomas is? He's alive. Is this a vampire scenario? You're doing a bad guy. He's a vampire. He's sleeping. Oh, okay. Okay.

I wish he wasn't alive. Yeah, well, maybe by the time this goes to air, you never know. Oh, fingers crossed. So Connecticut AG William Tong praised the decision, calling it quote a full and resounding affirmation of the constitutionality and legality of connecticut's

vaccine requirement adding quote vaccines save lives this is a fact beyond dispute end quote and though i applaud his efforts i also recoil a bit of this naivety because no facts are beyond dispute when you're talking to religious people right at least some fictions are on beyond dispute with them but none of the true things are which is why of course they're already making noise about appealing this one to the supreme court and if ever there was a group of people primed to fine for the folks who want to spread disease with their stupid it's the roberts court so know, I guess enjoy this while you can, Connecticut. And in prayer circle jerk news, I'll admit when you hear stories like the ones we talk

about on a regular basis, it's easy to get a little bitter and nihilistic. It's easy to think that you might as well give up because it feels like we're never going to win. Well, this week we got a win exactly and exclusively because of two people who refused to give up. And so we're going to talk about it. Yeah. I mean, you know, courts allow state to forbid knowingly transmitting vaccine preventable disease was the good news where we started from. So like there's there's a lot of room to improve. Exactly. So first of all, lot of room to improve. Exactly.

So first of all, big thanks to everyone who sent in this story to scathingnews at gmail.com. This week, the first to send it was Tony C, not to be confused with our lovable mascot. Did you know that not only can you send us news to scathingnews at gmail.com, but once a week,

I reply to one of those emails with Heath's cell phone number so you know keep sending them in okay it's not a very useful thing to have now that no it's not it's not anyways our heroes in question are mackenzie saunders and john magaha two atheists and former employees of aurora pro services a north car Carolina home repair company. That company begins each day with a mandatory prayer meeting. These meetings, which began at 10 minutes but eventually lasted upwards of 45, included Bible readings, demands for prayer for poor performing employees, and mandatory group recitations of the Lord's Prayer. And look, that fucking sucks. So Saunders and Magaha asked

to be excused. And in response, the owners of Aurora Pro Services not only refused their request, but threatened their employment and halved John's pay just for asking. Jesus Christ. It really says something about your religion though, right? When people are like, can we please stop paying me to listen to this in an air-conditioned room and get back to paying me to do a dangerous job repairing roofs in the South Carolina swamp heat? Exactly. Yeah. Well, nobody could physically force Saunders and Magaha into the meeting room.

So when they stopped showing up, they were promptly fired and they rightly sued. up, they were promptly fired and they rightly sued. And I am happy to report that this week they were awarded a combined $50,000 in damages from their former employers. Okay, that's great stuff, but fun game, if you're stuck

in a meeting like that, every time the boss finishes a prayer, you add like, and I pray for the opposite amen. Get a little impasse going. That's a fun way to lose $50,000 by being an asshole, I guess. You could just do what they did instead. Oh, can you just pray that the meeting ends, right?

Like that would fuck them up. Ooh, yeah. God, if you really exist, please end this meeting and I will know. Here's the chance to win my faith. And look, the pessimists in our audience might be thinking, so what? This was an open and shut case. We're lucky that it went the way it did. This isn't exactly something to celebrate. But according to a follow-up post, Aurora has now let future employees know that they don't have to attend those meetings anymore. There was a real and demonstrable cost for bigotry.

And what bigots care about way more than anything else, including their beliefs, is consequences. So, call it a win. Even if it falls into the no-duh category. Yeah, right. They're like, don't get me wrong, we still love Jesus. We just don't

love him 50 grand worth is all. That's a lot of fucking money. Maybe pray to get that 50 grand back. See how it goes, guys. Good luck. And in right on cue, Anon News. Nice. The human trafficking themed Christian movie

Sound of Freedom was having a great run since hitting theaters last month. But then the universe decided to projectile vomit some irony directly into the movie's mouth. According to reports out of Missouri, one of the movie's investors was arrested last week and charged with a Class A felony for being an accessory to child kidnapping, the thing that the movie's about.

Weird. Who would have thought the people behind the extrajudicial child taking movie might be accused of extrajudicial child taking. There's exactly one group that clearly and obviously benefits from misrepresenting the actual

dangers and methods of human traffickers. Human fucking traffickers human fucking traffickers right let's not pretend we couldn't see this kind of shit coming yeah there's so opposite of irony but vomit in the mouth still uh holds i would say and a big thanks to billy for sending the story within seconds of the news breaking billy was the first one nice job scathing news i think i think just wrote up, hey, here's the guy from Sound of Freedom getting caught trafficking people and then just like waited

to hit send until the news broke. Yeah, sure. Yeah. It was a good bet. It was a good bet. He said it as a delayed message on Spark. Great work. Scathingnews at gmail.com. So, quick background in case anyone missed it. Sound of Freedom is the story, asterisk, of Tim Ballard, a QAnon lunatic and also a devout Mormon lunatic.

Sorry, redundant. QAnon and Mormon who quit his job at Homeland Security to start a vigilante commando squad called Operation Underground Railroad. Operation Underground Railroad. They claim to go around the world rescuing victims of child sex trafficking, acting on tips from psychics in Utah named Janet. That's a real thing that happened in a failed mission of theirs. In reality, it appears to be more like

a handful of dude bros with no experience in law enforcement, except for maybe sort of Tim Ballard, doing cosplay because they find it to be fun. And even if his vigilante squad is ever helping, which is a very generous assumption, the net effect of their existence is clearly making the problem worse because vigilante squads of idiots tend to do that. Yeah. In all realms. And to be clear, to be clear, they are not helping in any way

they have ever been able to demonstrate in anything other than their insane fucking fictional movie.

Yes. Yeah. No. The evidence that they've done a single noble act is exactly tied with the evidence that we all live

in the same house along with a talking mythical pug from Brooklyn. There's so much less evidence. So here's how the investor comes into the story. The Sound of Freedom production team was having trouble getting their budget together, and they decided to crowdfund what they needed. And apparently a guy in St. Louis named Fabian Marta was in the middle of some kidnapping adjacent activity, stopped what he was doing, and sent some money on GoFundMe to this fucking movie. But according to Mr. Marta's attorney, the criminal charges are, quote, unfounded, which seems like a weird choice of a word, right?

Like, if you're innocent, just say that. Or if they're untrue you would say yeah right you would say the attorney also added quote mr marta had nothing to do with custodial kidnapping he was essentially a landlord end quote and again the word choice there is crazy it's way too specific about what's being denied. Yes. Yeah. Yes. I love what you guys have done with this place.

Blackout curtains. Love it. Nice secure locks on the inside of the door. Not sure about the plastic on the floor, but hey, I'm not an interior designer. Right. But also, when your lawyers hedge in their bets on what kinds of kidnapping you're uninvolved in, that's not a good sign right so clearly now i think you did whatever non-custodial kidnapping yeah right yeah i'm

sure you've now done that for sure and here's the most important thing about this whole story barbie wins and sound of freedom loses that is the most important thing barbie was amazing barbie already has over a billion dollars in box office sales great work and those are all actual people sitting in theaters yeah rather than empty seats purchased in the pay it forward ticket app like they're using for sound of freedom 10 million of the tickets approximately that were sold for sound of freedom were empty seats like that from the pay it forward app so moral of story, we care about feminism and gay sex and hot chip. And we like kids who don't get trafficked. This is woke America.

Get fucking used to it. Right. Deal with it in your face. Right. Next up in headlines in this dumb isn't free news. Apparently, you could be court ordered to have to pay a hate group to teach you how to hate group better, which literally happened this week when the U.S. District Court for the Northern District of Texas ordered lawyers for Southwest Airlines to complete an eight hour religious freedom training course

from none other than the Alliance Defending Freedom. The fuck is happening? Jesus. Yeah, that's the group that litigated the Masterpiece Cake Shop case as well as the bullshit do-over they got with 303 Creative. Yeah, they got a do-over.

Like, son was in my eyes, Mulligan Supreme Court case. Fucking son of God was in my eyes. Fuck off. Well, and also, of course, the ADF is listed by the Southern Poverty Law Center as an anti-LGBTQ hate group for stuff like supporting

the recriminalization of gay sex, defending state-sanctioned sterilization of trans people, and repeatedly asserting that LGBTQ people are more likely to engage in pedophilia. Those people

are going to teach Southwest's lawyers about how to properly respect the rights of others okay no i get what you're saying noah but have you flown on southwest well right now in terms of human rights violations and respect of others yeah and to be fair they are setting a spectacular amount of supreme court precedent these days over at the ADF. So like, I feel like maybe I should take the class just for a sneak peek at the future. Honestly, yeah, yeah.

So, okay. So, so first of all, quick thanks to Evan, who was the first to send us this story at scathingnews at gmail.com. 917, Evan. No, no, but yeah, but, but yeah, this entire case is incredibly fucked up. It started when a rabidly anti abortion woman who worked for Southwest took issue with her union sending some

officials to the women's march in D.C. because the march was in part funded by Planned Parenthood. Okay. Her salary from Southwest is funded by so many dead babies all the time. Who's flying? People with free time and money. Who has that? People who killed

their baby because it was small. See, I was going to say, look, you're the cheapest airline. You are the I need an abortion quick airline. Well, they are the abortion of airlines. Yeah, so she

objected to all the official means. She was told to go fuck herself at official ease. And then she proceeded to flutter union president's inbox with pictures of aborted fetuses. And she started trashing the union reps on social media. Well, Southwest has a policy against publicly talking shit about your coworkers. So they fired her for harassment. But then she sued the company for violating her religious freedom what and won what in a jury trial yes the judge decided the jury decided that her religious freedom of harassment

was violated yes the fuck is happening see this is why we need the class guys because i have no fucking idea why she won well yeah right neither did southwest right so as part of the verdict the judge ordered southwest to send out a notice to all employees explaining that they're not allowed to violate workers religious freedoms with their social media policies but perhaps of the opinion that since harassing fellow employees isn't religious fucking freedom southwest set out this notice that basically said yeah we're not allowed to infringe on your religious freedom which is why we didn't and we don't in this case's bullshit.

Please don't harass your coworkers online. Just great work by the legal team over there. Love that. Yeah. Well, that response did not sit well with Judge Brantley Starr, guess who appointed him, who dictated a verbatim statement that they had to send out instead

as well as ordering the aforementioned ADF training for the company's VP of Legal, VP of Labor, and VP of Litigation. It further orders that they cover the training group's food, accommodation, and other travel expenses throughout the training. And they shall require a shrubbery

as well. And if they thirst for human touch, you shall slake it is my gavel. Yeah, what the fuck is happening? Okay. Now that I realize

it's just those three guys and those guys already know better, which sounds like they do, they're just getting a paid vacation to roast an ADF training, which I would definitely

be in for, right? Like, here you go. Here's your fucking Jimmy Johns. Let's do this thing, idiot. No, it's that fucking ADF guys. They have to fly the ADF guys out to them so those guys get in the vacation. Yeah, that's fair. Yeah, but no, I should emphasize here,

by the way, that the ADF, at least until this order came down, was completely uninvolved in this case. Right? They weren't representing the in this case. They weren't representing the shitty harassment lady. They weren't involved in the appeal. They didn't even file a fucking amicus brief. Nothing. This judge just

decided entirely on his own to involve them in such a way that financially benefited the hate group. Because I guess financially benefiting hate groups is to an increasing degree the federal judiciary's whole goddamn thing at this point yeah the federal judiciary are people it's important just like super PACs yikes and in university news thanks to a court ruling out of oklahoma last week universities have to teach a curriculum made of real things in order

to sell a university degree to people. And that feels like good news out of Oklahoma, which is very, very exciting. But it's also bad news, if you think about it, because we needed a court ruling to confirm that, which means there was a challenge to the idea of truth being good at universities. Yep. The challenger, of course, was Wisdom University or Woo, a Christian online diploma mill that tried to sue the Oklahoma State Regents. The so-called university was mad because they teach fucking nonsense and therefore didn't get accreditation from the Board of Regents and therefore got told they can't pretend to be a school

and sell their nonsense education as a product to people. Yeah, and folks, keep in mind that the State Board of Regents already has massive exceptions for religious education built into their bylaws, right? They weren't teaching enough stuff

by Oklahoma religious school standards. Oral Roberts is there. They couldn't get up to that level. Right. No, it was less of a, well, you can't just teach nonsense and more of a, well, you can't just teach that nonsense, right?

It's any nonsense. And a big thanks to Stormy D for the link. Scathingnews at gmail.com if you want to help out. 443. Again, do whatever you want. So in response to the accreditation requirement from the fascist epistemology zealots at the Oklahoma State

Regents, Wisdom U filed a lawsuit claiming that requirements about teaching the truth violate their religious freedom. And yeah, they do. They do. And they should. Definitely. But crucially, the court ruled that Oklahoma's educational regulations do not violate Wisdom U's legal religious freedom according to constitutional law. And that's because the rule about teaching true things doesn't say we're banning religious bullshit. It just happens to ban religious bullshit.

Right. You go to jail for murdering. We don't oppress the murderess. It's a fine line, but an important one. Yeah. No, but we're very much included in the group of negative things you want to ban. That's not a defense, guys. That's not.

Exactly. That's not your case. guys. That's not... Exactly. That's not your case. The ruling basically just said kind of that. It said like, it's not the region's fault that you're in the circle of the Venn diagram labeled bullshit. Like you can move if you want out of that circle or don't move.

We don't care, but these are the rules. But the judge said all that way more politely. Although you could hear the derision sneaking out at times just a little bit. For example, the ruling said, quote, the plaintiff makes a series of allegations that obtaining proper accreditation will involve the regents in plaintiff's religious affairs. But these allegations are speculative at best. Translation, if knowing true things conflicts with your religion, it's kind of on you. It's kind of on you.

Yeah. Look, just once, I want a judge to go all the way and just be like, well, I sincerely believe that you don't sincerely believe that. Now, how dumb is that rule? You're a liar, impasse? Great. No more doing that. So the ruling also added, quote, consumer protection is a legitimate state interest, obviously, and there is an equal need to protect students attending a secular or

religious institution from paying for a degree that does not meet certain minimal objective standards, end quote. Translation, why do we even have religious education now that I'm saying it? Exactly. You can hear it between the lines. And here's my favorite part. And another really big thanks to Stormy for also sending a link to the Wisdom University website, because I might not have gone to this, along with a few highlights from their curriculum. So I went here. Their so-called university seems to have the following departments.

Spiritual growth, biblical leadership, scriptural healing, prayer, faith and hope, kingdom studies, spiritology, blessing studies, confession laws, biblical finances, and of course, business and spirit-led investing all for fuck's sake and now now imagine that tv commercial for like the 90s technical college with the scrolling list you remember these yeah absolutely of course you're getting take the mark of a winner that's one of the classes they have harness thearness the power of money. By buying things. Healing made simple. Secrets of successful prayer. Becoming a spiritual giant one.

So there's a lot to that topic. They needed at least also a part two, but one. It's really a broad overview. Yeah, no, you can become a spiritual tall guy after the first one, but to be a true giant. Yeah, a primer on spiritual giantcy. Also, how to walk in super abounding grace.

That's the name of a class. Not just abounding, god damn it. Yeah, they don't even have the 100 level abounding grace class. That's insane. If that's what's going on there. I feel like that's just a big leap without the prereq. Anyway. Heath, do they have any classes that's just a big leap without the prereq. Anyway. Heath,

do they have any classes that are just nonsense words? Sure do, Eli. Great question. They have Voice Activated System 1 Word Controlled Universe. That's all one name. Thank you. That's all one name of a class they have. I want to take that class. And I think this is my favorite one.

Also, I think Stormy's favorite one listed in the email as well. Strongholds of the Mind 7. Seven? The Devil Knows Your Hot Button. Okay. Well, I'm pretty sure they stole that last one from a porn I've seen, but

other than that, I thought they were pretty funny. They stole the others from fucking sub-chapter titles from the David Icke book that we're reading, I think. Yeah, no, I remember it from somewhere. Yeah, so, I mean, bottom line, religious liberty in Oklahoma, I think it's going to be fine. You're going to be fine. If you want to learn about the devil knowing your hot button,

level seven, and other very serious topics, you can still waste your money all you want at wisdom you, but you won't get a degree that rises to the prestigious level of Oklahoma public education. No. Unfortunately. And finally tonight in ET or OT news in a spectacular confluence of idiocy this week,

I saw an op-ed on foxnews.com that looked at the recent ufo hearings in which congress debased itself by enshrining witnesses robert stack would have laughed off into the congressional record and asked what if those aliens are actually satan that's right oh old, Old Testament. Got it. Took me a second. I'm slow. So, yes, America's number one most popular source for information that purports to be

news presented the thoughts of retired Army officer Lieutenant Colonel Robert McGinnis, who admits that we could be a semi-popular roadside attraction for aliens, but it's far more likely that those supposed aliens are actually angels or

demons. What? It might be angels, specifically? Yep. The god of the universe was like, hey, Gabriel, go down there next to a camera, probably, and do a little zoop-zop with your ship there. They're going to lose their fucking minds about this.

I'm doing a thing. I'm just saying, I'm saying another thing. Don't worry about it. Just do it. Just do it. Guys, guys, who keeps getting caught being just a raindrop? You're making us look stupid. That's a bug really close to the camera.

God damn it, guys. So, in his article, McGinnis points out that there are actually sightings of strange aerial phenomena dating back thousands of years, apparently without realizing that another way of saying that is, I'm exactly as gullible as people were in the Bronze Age. The level of fucking toxicity from this Fox News article is breathtaking in this moment. It is.

It mentions that lawmakers are demanding subpoena authority to learn about any military secrets regarding this stuff. And then it says what are we to make of this historian josephus wrote about chariots and soldiers running around in the clouds was the very next idea yes that actually transitions within the op-ed and while he admits that quote some readers will dismiss the possibility of spiritual beings. He's quick to add in contrast, apparently, that quote, many of us accept that there is much we don't understand, end quote. As though anyone was disputing that there isn't much that Lieutenant Colonel Robert

McGinnis doesn't understand. I'm not an expert. Yeah, man, we know, Robert. We know you're not an expert on anything ever go ahead we noticed and if you're thinking he doesn't cite his sources on this you're underestimating the good lieutenant colonel he points

out that no lesser authority than Billy Graham published whole books of first hand accounts of angelic intervention none of which contained evidence but still it was a whole book yeah he just knows we're getting close to the end of the Ike book, and he wants that to be next.

Oh, okay, yeah. Dude, you should have stuck with Josephus. Billy Graham really went downhill on your source. Yeah, right. My other favorite moment from the article, it says, quote, Jews and Christians will recall in 2 Kings 2.11 that Elijah went up into heaven like a whirlwind aboard a chariot pulled by horses of fire. Was that a UAP?

End quote. And no, man, you just identified it, first of all. Also, that's a fictional book that you were quoted from. You understand all that, right? Right. And lest Fox News be mistaken for providing more

intellectual heft than the average cartoon crazy person with a sandwich board, he closes by saying, quote, the challenges we face today, pandemics, natural disasters, out of control crime, wars and more, are likely influenced by the spirit

world, which is leading us to the prophetic end times. And then remembering what he was talking about, he goes, and might manifest itself as a spike in UAP sightings. And boom, tied it all together at the end. Reasonable. Yes.

And as much as I hate to reinforce his end is nigh rhetoric, this actually is the end of the headline segment. So Heath, Eli, thanks as always. Josephus. And when we come back, Don Ford will voice some fantasy and adventure. Hey, podcast listener, do you want to see the guys live on stage? Do you want to do it in a city that's already full of fun stuff to see and do?

Then buckle your knuckle for God Awful Movies live in Las Vegas, October 28th. We'll be breaking down the QAnon wet dream that is the sound of freedom with special guest Kerry Caviezel,

the wish-granting weasel. And don't forget, you can secure yourself a seat in the first few rows, plus a night of food, drinks, and fun with the boys with our VIP and Platinum Night tickets. You might even get to watch Heath Gamble. But don't wait. Our live shows sell out faster than an all-you-can-fuck buffet. So head to GodAwfulMoviesLive.com and grab your tickets while you can. Sorry, did you say a wish-granting weasel? She's a friend of Carl's.

Sure. No, that makes sense. Because it was an individual artist who used AI to help him with his work. It was like using a background thing. Oh, see, I thought that they just put like a mid-journey picture in the book. See, this is what I'm talking about. People need to learn how to Google about this stuff.

It's crazy. Okay, I don't understand. Can it draw sexy Liz Warren dressed as a nun or not? I mean... Please, Don, this could be my whole month. Just... Technically, it could. Ha! See? I knew it. Great. Thank you.

Thank you for that, Don. Hey, guys. Guys, are you ready for Bible Peace Theater? You mean the part of the show where we act out the Bible so our listeners don't have to read it? I sure am. Where were we? We were at the Book of Daniel. Yes! Twunk Daniel. God damn it.

I forgot what that means. People loved Twunk Daniel, Heath. No, it's true. They did. I don't like who's made the show. I know, man. We used to make puns about Pat Robertson. Remember?

Hey, we still make that. We just also have Twunk Daniel now. So what happens next in the book? Okay, so the king writes a letter to the world telling us the story so far. Dear the world, it's me, Nebuchadnezzar, king of all

kings, all that. Coming at you Carrie Bradshaw style. So you've heard the story of Daniel, my delicious little matzo ball and his dream interpreting powers. Oh, he's so cute, I'm Jewish. Well, guess what? Last night, I had a different dream.

Wow, that is a huge tree. Sup? What's happening? Oh, hey, one of God's angels. Have you seen this big tree? Oh, yeah, my kids God's angels Have you seen this big tree? Oh yeah, my kids made it I don't think they did Tomato, potato, yes they did

Anyway, God says cut this tree down And cover it with iron bands So it lives among the beasts The tree? Yup, the tree Okay, you got it, I guess So I wake up the tree. Okay. You got it, I guess. So I wake up.

Nebuchadnezzar, what are you doing in the booth? We fucking, we doodly-dood. No, we doodly-dood back into my letter. I'm still talking. I'm doing a letter. I'm talking. Right. Right. No, okay. They're like parentheses. Like parentheses. Exactly. Hey, did you know that some of the earliest mathematics using parentheses came from your period of history?

Hey, did you know that story's boring? Leave the booth. I'm going. I'm going. Anyways, so I head over to tell Daniel, who I've given the name Belt Shazar, all about my dream. Now you don't get to hear about the earliest writings on the concept of zero. Oh, no.

Whatever. You whatever. You have COVID. So, that was your dream? Mm-hmm. So, what do you think? Oh, honestly, I am astonished. Wow, really? Oh, yeah.

Big time. I'm gonna be astonished for like a full, unbroken 60 minutes. Oh, you meant now. You're astonished for like a full unbroken 60 minutes. Oh, you meant now. You're astonished now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, astonished. So should I go get lunch?

Yeah, probably go get lunch, yeah. Okay, okay. I'll go get. Do you want something? Oh, yeah. Will you get me like a big salad? Sure. Do they have one you like? Like what's the one you? No me a like a big salad sure do they have one you like like what's

the one you no just just like a like a big salad okay you can't just order a big salad there's like eight billion options in a salad you can't say fine whatever soup then what soup you can't just order soup whatever soup i they, I'm just astonished. Oh my God, fine. I'll bring you a soup. So an hour later, Daniel is done being astonished, I guess. And he tells Nebuchadnezzar what his dream meant. Okay, I'm back with your soup.

I got you, Minestrone. They didn't have a lentil. I will literally have you killed. Okay, fair, fair. So, okay, the dream. Great, let's hear it. Okay, fair, fair. So, okay, the dream. Great, let's hear it. Okay, it was about you. Love it.

Okay, you're going to eat grass and be wet like a cow. Mm, I am. Oh, totally. So, you mean that in like the metaphorical sense, right? Oh, no, no, no, no. In this case, I mean it quite literally. Not in like the metaphorical sense, right? Oh, no, no, no, no.

In this case, I mean it quite literally. So when you say wet, like foam party wet or sad boo? Oh, the second one. Oh, sad boo. Anyway, a few months later, sure enough, I'm walking through a field and I just lose my mind and eat grass like an ox. Anyway, I did that for seven years. We've all gone through that phase, am I right? And now I'm all better.

Praise God. Oh, am I allowed to narrate again? Great. Anyway, so Nebuchadnezzar dies and his son Belshazzar takes over. Wait, I thought Daniel was called Belshazzar. No, Nebuchadnezzar called Daniel Belteshazzar. This is Belshazzar takes over. Wait, I thought Daniel was called Belshazzar. No, Nebuchadnezzar called Daniel Belteshazzar. This is Belshazzar.

Oh, okay. It just seems confusing. It's really similar. Someone hasn't seen the gay side of Pornhub. Well, this is why I didn't know what Twunk was. You guys don't know. I'll watch gay porn right now. I watch it sometimes.

Anyway, one night, Belshazzar is having a feast when a ghost hand starts to write on the wall ew are you are you guys seeing this there's like a ghost hand writing on the wall what is that yeah that's weird yeah what's it say oh darling uh yes my queen. What is it? Why don't you get that guy your father used to, you know, be roommates with? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll call him up. Yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm.

He fucked your dad. Yup, got it. Thank you. You called for me, your highness. Hi, Daniel. Yeah, so, as you might have noticed, there's a hand writing nonsense on the wall. Oh, mm-hmm, I saw. Yeah, so you want to take a crack?

Let me know what's going on there. Okay, yeah, sure. Let me take a look here. Hmm, uh, meanie meanie takel ufarsin. Um, what language is that? Um, God language. It means God's going gonna end your kingdom you've been found wanting and he's gonna give your kingdom to the medes and the persians wow those three words mean all that you said just

now yeah it's pretty much shorthand for god at this point oh bummer i fucked your dad. I've heard. Thank you. Thank you. So sure enough, Belshazzar is slain and Darius, the Medean king, takes over. But Darius likes Daniel and makes him his chief official. And of course, that's not something that the other Medeans are fans of. Um, your highness, are you sure you want Daniel to be your chief officer? Sure. Why not? He's a good guy. Good at, you know, reading, ghostwriting. you want Daniel to be your chief officer? Sure, why not? He's a good guy. Good at, you know, reading, ghostwriting.

What's not to like? I don't know. I mean, he's vegan. Eh. Uh, gay? Dude, everybody's gay. That's true. Everyone's a little gay.

Oh, hey! What? Um, nothing. Oh, hey, apropos of nothing, do you know that there are, hey, apropos of nothing, do you know that there are, like, people in this kingdom who have gods that, like, aren't you? What? But I'm the head of the kingdom.

I know. I know you're the head of the kingdom, but don't worry. I actually wrote out this decree for anyone who has any gods that aren't you to be thrown to the lions, and all you're going to have to do is sign it. Oh, wow. That's sure handy.

I know, right? I know. What's this sticky note that says, this will fix Daniel on it? Daniel is going to correct my spelling. Got it. Your Highness, what is the meaning of this? Oh, sorry, Daniel.

My men caught you praying till, well, not me. So into the lion den you go. Seriously? Yeah, sorry. For the record, I kind of got like rabbit season, duck season into it, but in you go. Uh-huh. Oh! Oh!

You okay down there, Daniel? You get eaten by lions yet? Oh, no God just sent an angel to stop us That's right, motherfuckers Who wants to wrestle? Let's go Oh, please I've gotten deeper scratches from Kellyanne Conway. How's it going now?

Oh, I think she's winning. Can I come up? Yeah, bring him up. Also, hey, when you get up here, we're all going to be Jews now. Oh, great. You guys are lucky I'm not my brother. Her brother killed a dog. Yeah, no, we heard.

He did. So now that everybody's Jewish, Daniel has a vision. Okay, everyone, everyone listen. I've just had a vision. What are you talking about? You have visions all the time. No, that was interpreting other people's visions. This time, I had my very own vision.

Okay, yeah, got it. What's up? Okay, give me a second, because I'm going to doodly-doo. Be careful with that. Someone doesn't like to share the voiceover booth. Get out of the Bible, Nebuchadnezzar. You're dead now. You're dead.

You're dead. You're dead. No. All right. Okay, anyway. You're dead. No. All right.

Okay. Anyway. In my dream, four beasts came out of the sea. One was like a lion with plucked eagle's wings and a human heart. I got to be careful around saturated fats. Roar. The second was like a bear with three ribs between his teeth. Roar.

Sorry. Roar. The third was like a leopard with four wings and four heads. What are we, a podcast? The fourth beast had ten horns and big iron teeth. I'll have you know my dentures are actually ceramic.

Anyway, then the Ancient of Days was there. And there was fire, and the beasts were all, like, fighting each other like catty. Oh, it was a real scene. Yeah, sounds like it. So what do you make of that? Oh, I don't really know. But then I met this guy in a park bathroom and asked him what he thought about it. Hey, you know, I actually have a policy about talking about your dreams.

You know what? Never mind. Never mind. Anyway, he told me that the four beasts are four kings who will rule, and all that stuff will happen to them. What about the plucked wings and stuff? Well, the Bible is pretty sure

those are like metaphors for countries that would have existed when the Bible was written and or translated. Got it. Anyway, that's it. That's all I wanted to say. Quick thing. Why were you talking to a guy in a park bathroom?

Okay, don't worry about it. You guys never told me anything. Everybody, everybody, I had another vision. Wow, really? Oh, yeah. This one was all about goats. There were big goats, and there were small goats. Goats knocking stars out of the sky, and with horns in between their horns.

I mean, I didn't get any of it. Did you find a guy on Grindr to explain it to you? How do you know about Grindr? I googled gay stuff during the swoosh. Now I know. Good for you. Thank you. No, believe it or not,

the angel came down and explained it to me. Okay, Mr. Goat, you put that concept of truth down right now. Great. You broke truth. Yeah, sorry about all this. The boss gets a little heavy-handed with the metaphors sometimes. Uh, who are you? Oh, yeah, sorry, I'm Gabriel. Daniel. Cool. Ostrich jerky? Oh, no thanks, I'm Gabriel. Daniel. Cool. Ostrich jerky?

Oh, no thanks, I'm good. Great, more for me. Anyway, the goats are Greek kings. Ooh, Greek kings, got it. Anyway, we've got like three more of these. They're all kind of samey, so, you know, big Greek war coming. King Cyrus, yadda yadda yadda. Yeah, so, you sufficiently awed now?

That's what they tell me. I mean, you know what? It's fine. It's fine. All right, I'm headed out. Hey, Daniel? Yes, Gabriel? My brother killed a dog.

We know. And that's Daniel. All right. Hey, a little meat on that one at least. Till the end when it was a metaphorical prophecy three chapters in a row again. It is the Bible. Yeah, I don't know, guys. All these dreams and visions.

I mean, what were you even supposed to learn from the book? Well, I guess there's only one way to find out. Hit it, Anna! Damn Daniel, come through Damn Daniel, king's little man You'll make a hungry lion beg like a cocker span You'll lead us on a mission serving body curves vision Put the king and all his boys on a new diet plan You'll say, you better work, hunty Cause I ain't gonna smoke your skunk weed

In fact, I'm gonna be punting you out So you better serve cunt We are like Damn, Dan, you'll come through King Nebuchadnezzar's main move True player, soothsayer Made the king a Hebrew Knows where his dudes are

You'll find them in the boudoir Dance for the king's joy Quit the f boy, dream boy The Bible's dream boy Face, face, face Make your diet plant-based Toss your friends Meshach, Shadrach, and Abed-Nago In the blaze But don't worry, cause the angels Always save the Jews from danger. As the new royal arranger, Daniel really isn't fazed. And he says to the king, hey sugar pop, I

dreamed your reign will never stop. So conquer us all and be our top. Now watch me death drop. Damn Daniel come through. King Nebuchadnezzar's main boo. True play of soothsay. A faith that He's the king of the Hebrew, knows where his dudes are, you'll find him in the food block, dance for your king's joy, with the Bible's dream boy. Make your booty wiggle, wiggle, make your belly jiggle, jiggle, make your monarch giggle, giggle, as he has decreed. And when you read the book of Daniel See it's not a moral man You'll get to the end And you'll say

The fuck did I just read? Dance, Daniel, come through King Nebuchadnezzar's main due To pay a suit Say you made the king a thief Who knows where his dudes are And find them in the boudoir Dance for the king's joy

With the faggots in mind Make your body wiggle, wiggle Make your belly jiggle, jiggle in the boudoir dance for the king's joy with the battle dream before we take two and call them in the morning, I want to thank Marsh and Anna and Heath and Eli and everybody else who worked harder so that I could take a vacation. It was great. I had a lot of fun, but it's also great to be back

because my job is awesome. Anyway, that's all the blasphemy we've got for you tonight. We'll be back in 10,022 minutes with more. If you can't wait that long, be on the lookout for a brand new episode of our sister show, The Skeptic Ride, debuting at 7 Eastern on Monday

and even a new episode of our sister show, Hot Friend God, off of movies, debuting at 7 Eastern on Tuesday and an even new episode of our half-sister show, Sanitation Needed, debuting at 7 Eastern on Monday, and even a new episode of our sister show's Hot Friend God Off of Movies, debuting at 7 Eastern on Tuesday, and an even new episode of our half-sister show, St. Dixie Needed, debuting at noon Eastern on Wednesday. Obviously, the show's envelope wouldn't even seal right if I elected to thank Heath Enright for always being Ken-uff. I also want to thank Eli Bosnick

for being so Ken-tertaining. I want to thank Don Ford for being Ken-joyable as well. I know the Ken thing shouldn't be applied to the Barbies of the show, but Anna's Ken-thrawling and Lucinda's Ken-lightened, so I wanted to add that anyway. I know that Ken things shouldn't be applied to the Barbies of the show, but Anna's Ken thralling and Lucinda's Ken lightened. So I kind of, I wanted to add that anyway. Also want to thank Jim from the Feel Your Fandom podcast for providing this week's Farnsworth quote. Incidentally, if your fandom tank needs topping off, you're going to find a link to his show on the show notes. But most of all, of course, I want to thank this week's and

last week's and the week before his best people and Barbie it for me to say I'm going to do it next week. But come on, My lungs are burdened by COVID. It's a three weeks long list. I get there's just, it wouldn't be physically possible. So with apologies, I will get you next week, I promise. And if you'd like to hear your name in that breathless list as well, you can also make a per episode donation at patreon.com

slash scathingatheist, whereby you'll earn early access to an extended every version of every episode. Or you can make a one-time donation by clicking on the donate button on the right side of the homepage at ScathingAdias.com. And if you'd like to help but not with money, you can also help a ton by leaving a five-star review, telling a friend about the show, and following us on social media. And speaking of social media, Tim Robertson handles that for us, and our audio

engineer is Morgan Kark, who also wrote all the music and music used in this episode, which was used with permission. If you have questions, comments, or death threats, you'll find all the contact info on the contact page at ScalingAtheist.com. Rainbow sound and weasel noises at the same time. What noise does a rainbow make in your head, Eli? Yeah, right. No, I know what it is.

It's kind of like glittering. Yeah. Like reading Rainbow? Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it. The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle and a Thunderstorm, LLC. Copyright 2023.

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