The Scathing Atheist - 552: Quits and Giggles Edition

Episode Date: September 14, 2023

In this week’s episode, CPAC organizers do their first exercise in a long time, Mike Lindell drives a Dodge Stratus, and the Old Testament will enter it’s “yadda yadda yadda” phase. --- To make a per episode donation at Patreon.com, click here: http://www.patreon.com/ScathingAtheist To buy our book, click here: https://www.amazon.com/Outbreak-Crisis-Religion-Ruined-Pandemic/dp/B08L2HSVS8/ If you see a news story you think we might be interested in, you can send it here: [e-mail] To check out our sister show, The Skepticrat, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/the-skepticrat To check out our sister show’s hot friend, God Awful Movies, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/god-awful-movies To check out our half-sister show, Citation Needed, click here: http://citationpod.com/ To check out our sister show’s sister show, D and D minus, click here: https://danddminus.libsyn.com/ To hear more from our intrepid audio engineer Morgan Clarke, click here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/ --- Guest Links: To pick up your copy of Ralph the Flying Hedgehog and the Magical Red Rain Jacket, click here: https://books.friesenpress.com/store/title/119734000187081368/Roy-Crawford-Ralph-the-Flying-Hedgehog-and-the-Magical-Red-Rain-Jacket Learn more about Draft Kings’ safety measures: https://www.dksaferplay.com  --- Headlines: Bremerton Coach quits after single performative prayer: https://www.friendlyatheist.com/p/joe-kennedy-the-praying-football Matt Schlapp Held an Exorcism at CPAC Offices After Junior Employees Resigned: https://www.thedailybeast.com/matt-schlapp-held-an-exorcism-at-cpac-offices-after-junior-employees-resigned Baptist pastor falsely claims autism is demonic: https://www.friendlyatheist.com/p/baptist-pastor-falsely-claims-autism Misleading survey says atheists are less committed to free speech than Christians: https://www.friendlyatheist.com/p/a-misleading-survey-suggests-christians Ted Cruz drinks a beer on live TV to protest Bud Light and the fascist CDC guidelines: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/ted-cruz-beer-awkward_n_64f00663e4b0ca54cc6be9d7 Dr. Koob considers lowering the alcohol consumption guideline: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-12438233/Americans-limited-two-beers-strict-new-alcohol-guidelines-Bidens-booze-czar.html Mike Lindell melting down and out of money: https://www.abajournal.com/news/article/mike-lindell-rails-against-lawyers-in-defamation-depositions-says-he-doesnt-make-lumpy-mypillows And the video Heath was talking about with Ted Cruz in the parade: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3ULWu8lBiU&ab_channel=KHOU11 --- This Week in Misogyny: Mexico removes all criminal penalties for abortion: https://www.npr.org/2023/09/06/1198039758/mexico-abortion-decriminalization-supreme-court Masterson sentenced to 30 years in prison in rape trial: https://apnews.com/article/danny-masterson-sentencing-rape-trial-fd7a10eda44d0e3ddde582d4c7053eb6 Kutcher/Kunis walk back support: https://www.vox.com/culture/2023/9/12/23870223/ashton-kutcher-mila-kunis-backlash-danny-masterson-character-letter-explained

Warning, if you're looking for a profanity-free podcast, you're in the wrong place, motherfucker. This week's episode of The Scathing Atheist is brought to you by the damn near heroic effort I made to stop playing Starfield before 4am last night. You're welcome. And now, The Scathing Atheist. Hey, this is Jordan from Canada. Yeah, that one. I've been reading the wonderful book, Ralph, the Flying Hedgehog and the Magical Red Rain Jacket,

now available online, and after flying all over the world searching for that rain jacket, Ralph can assure you that humans did, in fact, evolve from filthy monkey people. You can do it, Ralph! It's Thursday. It's September 14th. And it's the exaltation of the cross. Okay, I feel like Jesus is going to have an issue with that if he ever gets back, right? Right. I have no illusions. I'm Eli Bosnick.

I'm Heath Henright. And from Chris Christie's, New Jersey, Ann Arbor, Michigan, and Waycross, Georgia, this is The Scathing Atheist. On this week's episode, CPAC attendees do their first exercise in a long time. Nice. Mike Lindell drives a Dodge Stratus. And the Old Testament will enter the yada, yada, yada phase. But first, the diatribe. On Skeptocrat this week, Keith talked about how awkward it must be for people who have birthdays on September 11th. And it only occurred to me later that we kind of have one of those ourselves.

And not we as in this show or anything like that, but we as in the atheist movement. the atheist movement, right? Many people credit the 9-11 terrorist attacks as the event that first started to shake society out of its religious coddling stupor and forced it to reckon with the true dangers of religious devotion. Now, I would argue that this atheist movement was an inevitable outgrowth of the internet's growing ubiquity around the same time, but regardless, 9-11 marked an important step in the movement's growth, even if only from a rhetorical perspective, which means that by a lot of people's reckoning, the new atheist movement turned 22 years old this week. Of course, the term new atheism has fallen out of favor along the way, and good thing too, right? Nothing 22 years old or older should still be called new. I'm looking at you, York and Jersey.

Over the last couple of decades, it's swelled and it's split and it's swelled and it's split. It's rejected its heroes. It's taken new heroes. It's rejected those heroes too. It's been declared dead more times than Freddie and Jason combined,

but it's still here. And it's plenty old enough to have a drink at this point, which is a good thing because it sure as fuck needs a drink at this point. I feel like a lot of people sort of lost track of that lesson that seems so obvious in the wake of 9-11 and to be fair a lot

of you motherfuckers weren't even born then and even a lot of people eli's age didn't have a lot of knowledge of the wider political landscape at the time and over the years the focus of 9-11 has shifted away from the dangers of religious extremism that caused it in favor of focusing on the nationalist extremism that it caused. Now, clearly, there were a lot of geopolitical forces at play on September 11th of 2001. So to a lot of people, it seems simplistic and even bigoted to reduce the attacks down to religion did it. Some would argue that blaming religion for 9-11 would be little better than blaming airplanes or box cutters. Religion was simply a tool that the terrorists used to accomplish their attack. Hell, those people would probably even say misused instead of used, as though religions came with a list of intended uses from their manufacturers.

But in the words of both Cicero and Eli trying to hire an Italian sex worker, qui bono. Who benefits? The ostensible political goals of 9-11 were to get the U.S. to remove military personnel from Saudi Arabia. It had the exact opposite effect, and it could only have ever had the exact opposite effect. Those attacks had every bit as much likelihood of removing American military bases from Saudi Arabia as they had of sending those hijackers to fucking paradise. And yet people act as though the political goals are somehow more real than the religious ones simply because they're secular. They say that the religious goals were just a cloak to trick religious zealots into carrying out political goals. But it would be far more accurate to say that the political goals were a cloak to trick political zealots into funding religious goals now you might be inclined to say that the 9-11 attacks harmed the muslim faith by turning people against it in places like the u.s and europe but as american christianity's illusion

of persecution is happy to attest few things are better at turning religious people inward than rejection from the outside right religious people certainly benefit from religious tolerance, but it makes religious institutions wither. I don't say that to blame religious minorities for their own persecution, right? That's not fair. But I say it to emphasize the fact that the goals of religious leaders and those of their followers pretty much never line up. And of course, our secular nation is still under attack by religious zealots. They're using the courts more than violence these days. But to be clear, they're still using plenty of. And once again, the religious goals are hiding behind political goals, hiding behind religious goals. Religious groups are literally training armies to take over the government and install theocratic leadership. And our society, by and large, carries on as though the religions are

just, you know, poor, ignorant rubes being tricked into working against their own best interests by cynical politicians and their political goals. They assume that religion is the hammer rather than the hand. But there's at least some good news to wrap around all of this shit as we contemplate the last couple of decades of activism. Because as big as the losses we've taken both legislatively and judicially are, the strides we've taken culturally might be even bigger. Right? Like the word atheism might not pull as well as it used to, but the benefits and need for secularism and for secular

activism have never been more clear to more people. The number of people rejecting church and rejecting faith has never been higher in this country or in this world. Hell, the number of people calling themselves atheists has never been higher. Because whenever we're in danger of losing sight of why we were here in the first place, religion is happy to remind us of all the terrible shit that happens when faith crashes into your institutions with a full tank of gas and a full head of steam. They're talking about you, Jesus. We interrupt this broadcast and bring you a special news bulletin. Joining me for headlines tonight are the hand-tossed and deep-dish to my thin and crispy Heath Enright and Eli Bosnick.

Fellas, are you ready to fight over who has to be deep-dish? Okay, is deep-dish even allowed after Rogan overturned? Are you ready to do that? I mean, look, if I've learned anything from seven years of marriage and Pequod's pizza, it's that hand-tossed is way faster. Right. Thank you. Faster. In our lead story tonight, the entire landscape of the federal judiciary at this point

in history is best described as secular Americans losing a game of pretend to Christians. And when you think about it like that, it's obvious why, right? They're better at fucking pretend. They practice constantly, which is why when they throw up pretend court cases, like the one where an assistant

football coach pretended his prayers were private and non-coercive, pretended he got fired for him and pretended he wanted his job back, the court's theocratic majority has no trouble pretending they believe him, even when the court's minority provides photographic evidence to the contrary and ordering the school to rehire him. Well, last week, the bullshit edifice of that entire case came crashing down without consequence when said coach quit said job after a single game. Yeah, because fuck those kids. It's not about them, the kids. It's about you, coach. Exactly. It's about you. Good decision.

Of course, this is the story of Joe Kennedy, the assistant football coach in Washington State, who held giant prayer circles at the 50- yard line after public high school football games, urging the participation of his players to the point where several of them said they felt coerced. He was placed on paid leave when he refused to abide by repeated requests to keep his prayers to himself. Then his contract wasn't renewed. Then he moved to Florida, the furthest possible state within the contiguous U.S. from where he was and sued and said he wanted that job back. Yeah. Speaking of which, I heard George Soros was suing Germany to get back his lamp making gig to like similar similar idea. It's that bad for Joe Kennedy. It's like the Holocaust.

Well, he's like Mr. Holland's opus. You know, if he can change just one kid's constitutionally protected rights against religious coercion. It'll all have been worth it. Right, right. But Americans United for Separation of Church and State, who represented the school district in the case, argued that this move should render the case moot since, you know, he's not going to sell his fucking home and move 2,800 miles to take a $5,300 a year assistant coaching job. Kennedy's lawyers responded, of course,

by playing fucking pretend. They filed a response that said Kennedy was, quote, champing at the bit to, quote, resume the job he loves, end quote. Kennedy himself attested, quote, I am ready and willing to resume my coaching duties in Bremerton, Washington. I can do so within 24 hours of reinstatement if I am still temporarily residing in Florida, end quote. Jesus is my co-pilot and my offensive coordinator. I'll be there so fast. Yeah.

Ready to go. Y'all, do you know how expensive Airbnb has gotten? Buying a house down here was just way easier. I'm totally coming back. Now, of course, Kennedy did resume the job, but with zero intent of actually keeping it for the season. In the meantime, he's become a actually keeping it for the season in the meantime he's become a cause celeb of the christian right he makes his money doing fucking paid speaking

gigs and selling his bullshit story to be even further fictionalized via a ghostwritten book that comes out next month and a goddamn pure flicks movie coming to a gam episode in the near future damn it oh yeah no but and to the extent that he returned to the school at all, it was to provide a dramatic close for those properties. Hell, the motherfucker never even moved back to Washington. He just crashed at a friend's place for the week and a half or whatever that he was ostensibly working there,

honey. He's just stay until he can get theocracy back on his feet. Let's be patient. And in CPAC's body spray news. According to a new report by the Daily Beast, the Christian right lunatics in charge of the Conservative Political Action

Conference, or CPAC, have been doing regular exorcisms of their headquarters in Washington, D.C. And not like chill, relaxed exorcisms, quick blessing. They've been paying for an extended campaign of anti-demon magic

performed by specially trained Catholic priests who go through the offices, wrangling the demons, of course, installing magical amulets, and spraying the employees with holy water. Jesus Christ. They get done. They check the evilometer again. It's still off the charts. holy water. Jesus Christ. They get done. They check the evilometer again.

It's still off the charts. They're like, damn, I guess we're going to have to try to exorcise these demons again. There must be some really evil demons hiding in here somewhere. Damn. My favorite part about this story

is that CPAC is largely run by cynical non-believers. So you know every time these loons visit, they have to be like, oh, good. You're back again. Love it. I love taking this seriously. Yeah, those people actually quit.

Pin in that. So big thanks to Jacqueline for the story. Scathingnews at gmail.com if you want to help out. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Heath, are you telling me that our listeners

can not only send us atheist news to scathingnews at gmail.com, but if they do, we can guarantee zero demons in their workplace for a calendar year? Hmm. I mean. Yeah, we can guarantee that. Yeah. Yeah. Whether or not they do that, we can guarantee that.

Yeah, right. The person in charge of this whole thing is Matt Schlapp. He's the chairman of the American Conservative Union, which is the parent organization that runs the CPAC events, lobbies for Christian right theocracy in general, and of course promotes homophobia. That's three ways of saying the same thing. Yeah, a lot across over there. He's also the former co-chair of Catholics for Trump. And he's also been accused of sexual assault by a bunch of men. That includes a former staff member of the

Herschel Walker campaign who said that Schlapp, quote, grabbed my junk and pummeled it at length. End quote. At length seems a bit braggy, no? Thank you. That's probably the wrong takeaway. Yeah, I'm surprised

he's not having the exorcist look for whoever molested his staff that seems to be the thing to look into use of any sort of investigation around there so the exorcism campaign started last year after that pin that group of employees resigned in protest match lap immediately picked up his like big red phone called a ghostbuster priest who showed up very quickly and sprayed holy water everywhere, including on people, regardless of their faith. The priest also put up a security system of medallions, which are still in place today. The medallions are the St. Benedict's medal, a series of those, because that's the patron saint of exorcism. Apparently, the exorcisms and the medallion arrays

don't always work right away. If you really want to get rid of those demons, the best bet is the subscription service that gets you regular visits from those expert priests. And apparently, that's what Matt Schlapp did. The exorcisms are ongoing and often involve entire rooms being shut down because of magical safety concerns. And the staff is doing its best to help the priests find the source of the evil. According to one of the team members, quote,

as the priest made his way through the office, spritzing holy water room to room, as the priest made his way through the office spritzing holy water room to room employees nudged him towards Matt's office and hey if the holy water doesn't melt him wicked witch style try to get him to say his name backwards and see if that works guys

guys who put a trail of M&M's and gay porn lead into my office this is serious okay so in response to the story about the exorcism and the news about the latest allegations of sexual assault,

the Schlapps are claiming the Daily Beast is the real enemy and is being secretly run by Satan, the Prince of Darkness himself. Apparently, the name Beast

is a double bluff in their title. According to Matt's wife, Mercedes Schlapp, quote, Americans are dying of fentanyl, children are being sex trafficked, and violent crimes are happening in our cities while Satan's publication is writing about exorcisms. Daily Beast is a joke, end quote. Well, okay, but you're doing them.

End quote. Well, okay, but you're doing them. You see how the, what a trivial thing to think about in light of real problems. Defense loops back around on you here, right? Mercedes.

It's the, you filming me, getting a Charlie horse, trying to suck my own dick. That it's embarrassing. Okay. Exactly. Shame on you.

Heisenberg situation. situation absolutely and according to match lap quote we're being terrorized by a demon self-described as the daily beast the good news is the leadership of cpac knows how the epic battle against the beast ends i'd short the stock end quote so just to be clear he's gonna short the stock of the daily beast you can't do that it has a parent organization no it's it was it's 143rd yeah it's nothing you cannot do that but he thinks he's gonna short their stock so that he can make some big money on the stock market at the apocalypse when sword Jesus shows up and then beats up the beast and the fucking other cracking beast

and throws them in the lake of fire. And then he's going to be like, buy that stock back at a profit. Nailed it. And in 666 in the head news, I try not to talk a lot about my son on this show. He's only three. He might not always want his Google results to be that closely associated with his dad.

And well, some stuff is better left off the air. But this week is rather special for a couple of reasons. First and foremost, this week, Max received his autism diagnosis from a developmental pediatrician. Now, don't get me wrong. We saw this coming for a while. I mean, anybody who's ever seen my son watch a marble run on YouTube saw this coming for a while. And of course, it doesn't change how proud we are of him or how much we love him one

little bit. I can't imagine feeling otherwise. And I also can't imagine how it must have felt to be a parent like me who sat in the congregation of Pastor Rick Morrow of Belula Church in Richland, Missouri when he announced this week that not only was autism caused by the devil, but that prayers could cure it.

Great. Lots of big theories about sinister plans to create more autism in the world. And they all end with like, autism now. And now,

I was done. I just, I was like, don't hold back. What's the end game for Satan with a bunch more autism? What, is he trying to monetize

his marble run YouTube channel? What is the point? If he is, he's nailing it. Can I say? He's absolutely, he's nailing it in the Bosnic household.

So, here's the quote. And you'll excuse me, it's a little long, but there's just so much delicious stupid packed into this paragraph. Quote, let's talk about autism. Rick, did you just go there? Yeah. Like, I know a minister who has seen lots of kids that are autistic that he cast the demon out and they were healed.

And then he had to pray and their brain was rewired and they were healed. And then he had to pray, and their brain was rewired, and they were fixed. Jesus. So the implication that autism is a demon wasn't the most offensive part of the sentence. No, it was not. I guess congratulations are in there. Is it impressive somehow?

Sure. Yeah. I think he's lying, though. I think he's lying. It might not be true. I think he's a liar grain of salt everybody grain of salt yeah he continues quote if it's not demonic then we have to say god made them that way like that's the only other explanation why does my kid have autism well

either the devils attack them he's brought this infirmity upon them. He's got them where he wants them. And or God just doesn't like them very much. And he's made them that way. Okay. I like that he's using singular they, them. That's cool. Yeah.

Here you go. Ready for this? Well, real quote again. Well, my God doesn't make junk. God doesn't make mess ups. God doesn't make people that way. So let's quit being nice and putting a bandaid on stuff and giving it medicine. And quote.

And giving it medicine? Okay. God doesn't make autism, but he makes a supremely evil goat demon who does make autism. Do you fucking hear yourself? Right. Right. I'm sorry. If your God doesn't make junk, where the fuck did you come from, dick?

Yeah. No, that's true. But it does actually get worse. I find that hard to believe. Oh, well, hear me out. Several parishioners have since reached out to Morrow, and he has done nothing but double down. And we're still

Morrow isn't just some harmless preacher. He's a member of his local school board. The guy who just called autistic people mess-ups is making decisions about education at a district level. And look,

I've always thought this kind of thing is terrible, right? We've got a lot of listeners on the spectrum who have told us just how badly religion handled their condition. Some of them were subjected to fucking exorcisms because of bullshit like this. But there's one place that Mauro and I actually agree. Because if I ever see the guy who called my kid junk, I promise you, I'm going to quit being nice right then and there. All right. Well, I feel like Eli's about to threaten violence, and I don't know that I can bring myself to dissuade him this time.

So instead, I'm going to hand things over to my lovely wife, Lucinda. A man wrote the Bible. A whore is what she wants. If it's a legitimate rape. Then it's a slut, right? Cooking can be fun. Hey, I'm proud of a man. This Week in Massage.

Okay, so I actually have a bit of good news to open up with this week. And if your first thought when I said that was, well, then it must be international news, give yourself a gold star. Because this story is coming to us from mexico where the supreme court negated all federal criminal penalties for abortion last week their ruling rightly declares those laws unconstitutional since they violate a pregnant person's right to themselves pretty fundamental when it comes to rights really it's worth noting too that abortion isn't the only fundamental human right Mexico is better at recognizing than America. See, Mexican citizens enjoy a right to health care, which means that their government is now required to provide abortion services to anybody who asks for them.

two states and while the supreme court is supreme it'll apparently take a while to legally untangle all the implications of this and make abortion access truly universal in the country but that is where they are headed that is the exact opposite of where we're heading but enough about good news it's time to talk about religion a phenomenon that invariably leads to misogyny, regardless of the specifics of the faith. Because a religion begets power and power, at least in the hands of men, invariably begets misogyny. Now, allow me to add and dismiss the problematic not all men caveat on behalf of some wincing listeners. Because, of course, some men can have power and not use it to abuse women. And there are definitely ways of organizing power structures that protect people from abuse, regardless of who holds that power. But that's not what religion does. It concentrates power

in a small group, it establishes rigid hierarchies, and it diminishes accountability. And that is always a recipe for abuse. Case in point, the 30-year sentence just handed down to Danny Masterson of That 70 Show fame. And kudos to the judge in that case, by the way, for giving him what I believe is the maximum possible sentence here. And not even asking about his swim times. But as you'll know if you've followed this case on even a glancing at the headlines kind of way, this is just another story of religion empowering an abuser, then protecting that abuser with all the weight of their church. In this case, it was the Church of Scientology.

But other than that, the story played out exactly the same way it always does. rapist, can I just take a second to say fuck Ashton Kutcher, Mila Kunis, Kurtwood Smith, Deborah Jo Rupp, Billy Baldwin, Giovanni Ribisi, and every other motherfucker in Hollywood who wrote this judge a letter asking for leniency for Masterson. You might have seen the stories about Kutcher

and Kunis, co-stars of his on that 70s show, apologizing for the letters and assuring everyone that they'd never have written them if they knew they'd be made public. But to be clear, a bunch of motherfuckers wrote these glowing letters of praise for him after he was convicted of drugging and violently raping two women. So no, sorry Ashton, sorry Mila. As much as I'd love to say that it doesn't matter because the court summarily dismisses the opinions of people who publicly brag about how infrequently they bathe that's not the case letters like this matter and the

fact that y'all motherfuckers chose to rally around the rapist instead of the victims isn't something society should forgive you for and with that off my chest i suppose i can hand things back over to noah heath and eli thank you lucinda and into speech his own news according to a recent survey america's christians are significantly more committed to the free expression of ideas than its atheists and in fact the more christian one's religious bent the more committed one tends to be of set exchange a statement so patently false it feels like it should be followed up with me asking heath how bullshit it is in a deep echoey voice but according to the foundation for individual rights and expression or fire or an entirely conservative funded bullshit

organization designed to battle wokeness on campus mormons catholics and orthodox christians are almost twice as likely to tolerate opposing viewpoints as atheists. What? I mean, Noah, there are dozens of rights they haven't taken away from us yet. What more do you need? But just for context, a fundamental tenet of Christianity is that people who don't embrace that worldview are going to be tormented in a lake of fire for all eternity yes the god of their universe is literally infinitely intolerant of opposing viewpoints you couldn't be more intolerant those people are being tolerant to the extent that they're being not christian also the survey is garbage but like come on that too right. This bullshit result is based on a single

question. So FIRE asked 55,000 students how acceptable it would be to protest campus speakers by shouting them down. When asked, 45% of Protestants, 44% of Mormons, and 42% of Catholics said it would never be acceptable, while only 24% of

atheists did. Yes, and we are willing to speak on every one of those Protestant, Mormon, and Catholic campuses to prove them wrong. Right. I'll happily do like

a good universe Steven Crowder table. Just like, religion is intolerant. Prove me right. Side tap. And we did it. We did it, everybody.

But of course, the fundamental flaw at the heart of this survey is the assumption that both the left and right are saying equally shitty stuff, right? Because the left doesn't really have a Charlie Kirk or a Milo Yiannopoulos.

And to the extent that we do, we're not inviting them to speak on college fucking campuses. Wish you would. I'd bring hats. You should see how he dressed. Milkshakes, shenanigans. But the people being shouted down, though, as i can tell are exclusively people who are actively opposing

the civil rights of other groups it's a loaded fucking question right like if you ask people on the right and people on the left if it was ever acceptable to protest and shout at people walking into a medical clinic for a medical procedure it would be disingenuous as hell to then present the results as evidence that conservatives are against health more than liberals that's exactly what this bullshit survey is doing yeah i mean you'd be right that conservatives are against health but you'd be proving it wrong and also worth noting the survey was talking to christian students at universities in the United States of America. Those students are almost entirely part of a distinct majority community wherever they live.

Yes. And it's way fucking easier to claim that you'll never shout down opposing viewpoints when your viewpoints are the majority. Real easy at that point. Exactly. And also worth relevant to this discussion, by the way, that it's a clear fucking majority in every single group said that shouting down speakers was acceptable at least sometimes and that's because it is right there's an objectively correct answer here and it's that some motherfuckers need to be shouted down so regardless of these nonsense results i'm still going to go on behaving as though the group that's actively banning books outlawing history trying to enact blasphemy laws and rising in protest every fucking time a burger king commercial says damn is less committed to the

principles of free speech than the side that shouts down bigotry and finally tonight we have two delightfully embarrassing videos from two horrible human beings, scathing atheist regulars, Ted Cruz and Mike Lindell. I mean, they should never talk in front of a camera. They're so bad and they know that they're so bad, but they keep doing it anyway. Now for Lindell, he often has to be on camera as part of an ongoing legal case against him that has depositions on camera. But for Cruz, it's just him believing in his heart that he's going to nail that next video just like human being and talk human. And he never, never does. So we have Mike Lindell personally imploding during legal depositions, and we have Ted Cruz attacking the concept of health guidelines for alcohol.

And before you wonder, podcast listener, what Mike Lindell's deposition has to do with atheism, you have not seen these videos because they are very clearly evidence for a loving God. I'm just saying, we lost everybody. We're making a counterpoint. Hands up. We lost. Watch them. They make me feel the love for sure from the God of the universe.

And a big thanks to Brad and Evan for the links. Scathing news, gmail.com demon free. I'll start with Lindell. He just finished up a series of depositions as part of a defamation suit against him filed by Eric Coomer, the former CEO of dominion voting systems. And apparently Lindell's been a raving lunatic the whole time during those depositions. Correct.

So Coomer's legal team filed a motion last week to make Lindell show up in person at a Denver courthouse for the next deposition so that a judge might be able to wrangle him. He's been insane. And they released a truly wonderful highlight reel of Lindell having meltdown after meltdown after meltdown during the last deposition series. I think my favorite one was Coomer's lawyer saying, hey, I'm not talking about all the lumpy pillow complaints. And then Lindell hearing that and proceeding to scream asshole at this lawyer for a minute straight, just in a panic panic the best part is he's not even calling the pillows lumpy right what they're doing is they're talking about a complaint line that lindell is claiming he used to let people report election fraud at my pillow yeah and the guy's like isn't that supposed

to be for like i don't know lumpy pillows and mike lindell is like I will eat the face off your skull, you Jew. And he's like, I'm not talking about those stuff. The lawyer is literally just trying to come up with an offhand example of the kind of thing MyPillow's complaint line might get a call about. Followed by Lindell trying to slap the guy with a glove and challenge him to a duel. He says, you've never had a my pillow that's for sure you've never had a my pillow that's the pillowcase off and slaps all right and some bonus news about lindell because it's also great he is completely out of money now he went from rags to riches, but now back to rags again.

And actually now way less than rags because he's got a bunch of debt. Yeah, he owes those rags to somebody. Yeah, I was going to say. Those rags are getting repoed too. And I'm not even counting the $4 billion total in lawsuits against him between Dominion and Smartmatic.

Lindell was worth about $75 million when Trump took office, something like that. And now that's a negative number. During a telethon last week to help support the treasonous fake electors in Michigan, he did that. During that telethon, Lindell said, quote, they've taken me down just in a bigger way. Sick. I've had to borrow millions of dollars this summer. I've never been in debt like this for a long, long time. End quote. And then he offered to suck the telethon's dick because that's what he did the last time he was short on cash.

Well, but that's the thing. It's literally true that supporting Trump is worse for one's finances than being addicted to crack cocaine. Yeah. That's a demonstrable thing out in the world now. We got data. Absolutely. And that brings us to the phantom of the opera.

Ted Cruz heard that Dr. George Koob, the director of the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, was considering a new set of guidelines for alcohol consumption in 2025. And that is fascism. Eventual fascism, according to Ted Cruz. Just to be clear, the current guidelines are not laws. And you can tell because it's a different word than laws. And they recommend that Americans limit their consumption to at most one or two drinks a day. But lots of data shows that it's better to cut that back, possibly to one or two drinks a week or zero. Ted Cruz started La Resistance and made a defiant protest video against the nobody who's stopping him from drinking. He's standing in a bar somewhere in Texas in this video with 10 locals who he clearly paid just to stand behind him completely still and look like his normal, real-life people friends that he definitely has. And then he grabs a bottle of beer that still has a cap on

it. You know, just like all the bartenders serve it. And he's like, oh, right. Takes the cap off. And then he has a spite sip. And then the piece of shit reporter from Newsmax does the same thing on the other side of the video, except with a non-alcoholic beer which fucking defeats the entire point oh really yeah i mean look i hate to say this heath but if ever there was a time i thought you and ted cruz could come together it was this one i don't really know oh i want to see the outtake where ted cruz tried to buck the recommendations by having three beers in the course of the video. And just a fun little bonus before we wrap it up. I was looking for the link to the video and I searched for Ted Cruz beer on Google and the entire first page of results were something even better than what I was looking for.

During a parade in Houston last year, Ted Cruz was on a float and somebody along the parade route hit him right in the fucking face with a beer can. It's super fun to watch. I watched it over and over. It's so good. Heath, can I give you a little bonus joy? Sure. You see the security run in and grab a guy?

That was the wrong guy. And he has since sued Ted Cruz. Fantastic. Who is going to settle and give him a bunch of... They just grabbed the minority. They were like, black guy, get him. It's the best. That sounds about right, Houston police.

It went awesome. Yikes. All right. Well, with the promise that we will definitely link that video in the show notes, we're going to wrap up the headlines for the night. Heath, Eli, thanks as always. Also watch Ted Cruz at Yankee Stadium. It's the best.

And when we come back, you'll have missed us more than you predicted. more than you predicted. I'm just saying, we can rent a house with enough bedrooms for everyone. That's not the point of bunk beds, Don. Then what is the point

of bunk beds, Heath? Friendship, Eli. Friendship and whispered secrets. Obviously. Asked and answered. All right, got it. Hey, guys. Hey, you guys ready for Bible Peace Theater?

Oh, you mean the part of the show where we act out the Bible so our listeners don't have to read it? We sure are. Oh, hey, Don. When did you get here? Oh, Eli hacked into JetBlue, told me my flight was redirected, lured me onto a remote-controlled airplane, and then flew me in circles for the last week and a half

until you guys needed me again. Oh, got it. Oh, that reminds me. I got to talk to you guys about a fuel bill later. Where were we in the Bible though? I had to eat a seat cushion to survive. We get it, Don. So we've officially made it to the minor prophets. Oh, like

they know where coal is? Nope. Other minor. So kids? No, no, like small. Other minor. So kids? No. No, like small. Nope. Like minor. Small books. Small miracles.

And they don't get much smaller than the book we're going to start with. And that would be Hosea. Hey. Hey, Hosea. God. Is that you? Yeah. Listen, man.

I need a favor. I need you to marry a whore. Sorry, a what? You know, a whore. A whore. Sorry, a what? You know, a whore. A whore. Sorry, I actually don't know. Do you mean like a prostitute or a divorced lady? Or just like a woman of ill repute in general?

That's a great question. Yeah, no, scholars are not super sure what I mean by that. But either way, I'm doing like a metaphor for Israel. So, you know, just best judgment. Marry a whore. Okay. Just seems, just best judgment, marry a whore. Okay. Just seems kind of problematic to call anyone a whore, right? Yeah.

Well, it's the Bible, man. It's a bad book. Bad book, right. Yeah, got it. So Hosea married Gomer, the daughter of Diblam. Apparently, she met the whore standard, and she bore him a son and two daughters. Daddy? Yes, my son and two daughters. Daddy? Yes, my son? Why am I named Jezreel?

Yeah, good question. So, when you were born, God told me to name you that because you're going to avenge the blood of Jezreel upon the house of Yehu. Oh. Um, wow, that's a little heavy there, dad. You think that's bad? Your sister's names literally translate to no mercy and not my people. They are? Yeah, yeah, sure are. Because you see, Israel right now is like a whore to God, a dirty whore. And God says, hey, stop being such a whore or I'll tear off all your clothes and throw you in the street like garbage. A whore. And God says, hey, stop being such a whore or I'll tear off all your clothes and throw you

in the street like garbage. A whore who will wander through the desert looking for new lovers, but wherever she looks, she'll find only thorns and hatred. And it really seems like a you problem. Yep. Well, someday God will welcome her back into his arms. He will say, you are mine forever, as long as you promise never to be a whore again. Now, come have some fresh clothes and some grapes, you worthless dirty whore. Is what he'll say.

That's got real bad vibes, Dad. Yeah, well, it's a bad book, son. Right, right, bad book. Yeah. Bad book. But apparently one sexist metaphor wasn't enough for God, because soon enough he's reached out to Hosea again. Hosea, Hosea, big guy, I need another favor from you. Again? Yeah. Okay, so I need you to go have sex with an adulteress this time. What? Why? Again, it's a metaphor for Israel. I mean, okay, but I'm married.

Won't that make me an adulterer? No, come on, buddy. Those rules are only for women. Come on. No, right. No, of course. Got it, got it. Adulterer.

Stupid. So Hosea buys himself an adulteress for 15 pieces of silver and a fucking homer and half a barley. Oh, so this is the scene with the adulteress. Well, I assume so, yeah. It's tricky. How's it tricky?

So, like, I know we're making fun of the book, but I feel like we don't want to portray the adulteress too broadly. I mean, the book is bad. Yeah, no, I get it. The book is bad. Yeah, no, I get it. The book is bad. But I feel like we don't want to contribute to the problem with, like, sex shaming or something like that. Yeah, no, that's fair.

We don't want to go too broad, but we need to make it funny. Yeah, obviously. Oh, oh, I've got an idea. Okay, yeah, so this is where you'll be staying. I like a jungle walls and floors I put up a big scarred red crimson tree It's gonna be disco, baby Okay, didn't get a lot of that

Anyway, while you're here, please only have sex with me It's a metaphor for God and Israel Metaphor, no problem, village golem. You want me to crack your heart juice? Maybe crank your hunch? No. None of that. I don't think.

Actually, I'm going to go. Okay. But you let me know when you want to get your grinkle scrunched. Okay. No, thank you. Scrunched. No. Scrunched real good.

Backing out. So, with that out of the way, God makes a big angry speech to Israel. scrunched. Nope. Scrunched real God. Backing out. So, with that out of the way, God makes a big, angry speech to Israel. For how long? The rest of the fucking book. Oh, so like a big, angry speech. Yeah, no. It's a long one.

Alright, everybody. Gather round. You know the drill. I see all the tribes of Israel are here. So, first of all, I just want to say I'm pissed at you guys. You all suck. And I don't know. I don't usually like to name names, but I just want to say Ephraim,

okay, tribe of Ephraim, you guys absolutely screwed the pooch lately. Like, I'm amazed at how much you guys suck right now. I don't know how much you guys suck, I guess. Anyway, where was I? Let's see.

You're all going to die, obviously. No water, no food. Pretty standard. I've said that before. Oh, God. Also, fuck Ephraim. Like, specifically, fuck you guys. I saw you fucking around with idols and, like,

God, you're just the fucking worst, and I hate you. It's just, I hate you. Feels a little directed. Continuing, mothers will die with their children. I'll be the lion that eats your face. Fuck Ephraim. You guys are the worst and nobody cares about you. Okay, we get it.

Do you, Ephraim? Do you, Ephraim? I mean, yes. Yes. I don't think you do. And that is the Book of Hosea. Oh, shit. That's been like seven minutes.

A little short this week. Don, what was your favorite part of the pajama party? Oh, that's a good question. No, Eli, we don't have to ask Don's opinion about anything. All the minor prophets are short, so we can just move right on to Joel. Oh, thank God. Okay, so what's Joel about? It's another big Yelly speech.

Nice, got it. I enjoyed dinner at Frenchette. Don, please. Hey, everybody. It's me again, coming at you through Joel this time. First off, just want to apologize to Ephraim for the end of that last book. That was just extremely targeted. I do not know

what was going on with me. I think I might have hypoglycemia, but yeah. My bad. Anyway, let's see. Everyone needs to wake up. You're all a bunch of drunks and I'm going to take away your wine. Wait, is he serious? I'll burn your fields. I'll kill

your animals. Oh, oh, this is a new one. I'm going I'll burn your fields. I'll kill your animals. Oh, oh, this is a new one. I'm going to perplex your cows. Man? Like that. Exactly. Thank you. Let's see.

Oh, palmer worms. What the palmer worms haven't eaten, the locusts have. And what the locusts don't eat, the canker worms will. What the canker worms don't eat, the caterpillars are going to eat. I feel like you could have just said the worms will eat everything. canker worms don't eat, the caterpillars are going to eat. I feel like you could have just said the worms will eat everything. Well, I didn't. Anyway, the fire will burn everything and everyone's

faces are going to be all black. Like in the Canadian Prime Minister way? No, Justin, in the burned way. In the burned way. Okay, but what about the wine, though? The thing you said about the wine? Also, beasts of the field, and I know I don't talk to you guys a lot because you're animals.

Moving right past it? I don't want you to be afraid. Feels weird that I'm sort of comforting you in this moment out loud in the Bible, but I feel like you guys have gotten kind of

a bum rap in this book, and I just want you to know that this time you're going to be fine. Moo-moo. You're welcome, beasts of the field. Anyway,

people sell my people and buy them So I'm gonna sell and buy you That doesn't really make a lot of sense Oh, also, everyone make your plows into swords Feels like that's gonna be tricky Yeah, well, do it Oh, also, I'm gonna cover the mountains with wine And the hills with milk

Nice, the wine's back. Yeah. And so that just about wraps it up. Let me see. Oh, ooga booga, I'm God. And that's Joel. Nice. Two for two.

Okay, we're on a roll. What's next? Amos. Oh, I've heard of him. Oh, you have? Sure. He's famous. Et tu, Morgan?

Anyways, what's this one about? Well, it's another big yelly speech from God. Another big yelly speech from God? Another big yelly speech from God. All right, everyone. Here we go. First off, few places I'm going to destroy for three things and also four things. What? Sorry, three and four?

What? Yes, three and four things. So, seven? Nope. I can see why you'd think that. It is three things and also four things. Okay, why is this in the Bible? Also, also I'm mad because sometimes a father and son are having sex with the same woman.

I've heard that's happening. Some people are into that. Well, they shouldn't be, Heath Enright, the podcaster. Also, quick reminder. Really specific. This book has giants in it and I killed them. Oh, hey, I've also got a message. I'm talking to the animals.

The fat cows of Samaria? No. I know, I'm back on the other side again. Real complex relationship with cows this week. Anyways, you oppress the poor. Meh, meh, meh, meh, meh. I don't want to hear it, okay? I don't know what to do about you people. I gave you the plague

and pestilence. I sold your children into slavery. I killed you with swords. And you guys still aren't loyal. I mean, what's it going to take here? Well, maybe try not doing all of that. Nope, I don't think it's that. I think I need to kill you some more. Also, for the record, I hate feats and musicians.

What? And people who drink wines out of bowls. What? You got to drink it out of something. Well, you're not, because I'm going to kill all of you dead. And then you'll drink wine. That's a weird turn. I like it. I like the turn. And that's Amos. Okay. That's a weird turn. I like it. I like the turn. And that's Amos.

Okay. What's next? Obadiah. And literally one chapter of God yelling. Come up, guys. We're like four minor prophets in and nothing has happened. I didn't write the Bible.

Well, sometimes it feels like you did, No Illusions. Who's next? Jonah. The whale guy? Yeah, the whale guy. Nice. Now that is what I'm talking about. Jonah. Hey, hey, Jonah. Dad? That's right. How you doing, man?

So you read the last few books. I just need you to go to a city called Nineveh? Nineveh? Yeah, Nineveh. And yell at them about how awesome I am. Right, right. Uh, no. Sorry, what? Yeah, thanks for the offer, I guess. Uh, you tend to just destroy cities anyway.

The message is kind of the same. I'm going to pass. You can't pass. I'm God. And yet here I am, passing. See ya. Jonah, Jonah from the Bible, do not walk away from me. I don't even know how you're walking away from me since I'm omnipresent, but don't you do it. But walk away he does, and he boards a ship for Tarshish. But no sooner is he out to sea than God sends a terrible storm to trouble the boat. Hey, Captain, what's going on up here? No idea. Terrible storm whipped up. We've been throwing

stuff overboard all day to please the gods, but no dice. Ah. Are you sure it's the gods? Oh, yes. This is definitely a god storm, trust me. I found the lots, sir. Sorry, sorry, the lots? Oh, aye. We're gonna cast lots and figure out what pissed off the gods.

I don't think we need to do all that. And it's Jonah. It's Jonah. Jonah pissed off the gods. Dude, seriously? Yeah. Sorry, I probably should have mentioned that. But God's mad at me. He asked me to do a prophet thing, and I passed.

You can't pass. He's God. Exactly. Well, and yet here I am, having passed. Okay, why did you not mention this before we sat down? When was I going to mention it? After you gave the little demonstration about where the life vests are? I mean, that would have been nice.

Guys, guys, what do we do? Well, I mean, I guess you should probably throw me overboard. Hmm. Do you think that'll work? I have no idea. You're the one that was talking about throwing shit overboard. That was our plan. Ah, all right.

Okay, okay, fine. Here we go. Wait, wait, wait. One second. One second. What? Let me take off my shoes first. Okay, fine.

Here we go. All right, wait a second. Ah! So they threw Jonah overboard and he's swallowed by a giant fish. Wait, wait, wait. I thought this story was about a whale. It is. The Bible thinks whales are fish.

Of course they do. Sure. So he stays there for three days and three nights until finally he begins to pray. All right, here we go. God, I get your message with the whole fish thing here. But it's starting to smell in here. And everything kind of became the pea corner at once. So I'm sorry.

And if you let me go, I will tell everyone in Nineveh to be scared of you. You heard him, fishy. Dude, did you just get vomited up by a giant fish? Oh, that's nothing. I used to live in a Manhattan apartment. Thank you, Morgan. And that's why you should all repent super hard.

Wow. I don't know, Jonah. That's an amazing story. But what's this god of yours going to do if we don't repent, Jonah. That's an amazing story. But what's this god of yours going to do if we don't repent? Well, I mean, he fed me to a fish for three days just for not wanting to be here. He's got a point. Yeah, let's repent.

I repent. Very good point. I'm going to go wrap my cat in sackcloth. So all the people of Nineveh and their animals, for some reason, fast, repent, and dress themselves in sackcloth. So all the people of Nineveh and their animals, for some reason, fast, repent, and dress themselves in sackcloth, which does not please Jonah at all. Hey, God. God. Oh, hey, Jonah. What's up, buddy? I'm kind of in the middle of taking a mugshot here. Oh, well, I'm sorry to interrupt, but I told everybody in the city to repent because you were going to destroy them. And now you haven't.

And well, they all think I'm a liar. Well, I mean, everyone did the sackcloth thing. So I changed my mind. Okay, but God changed his mind is a wild supposition because, you know, you're omniscient. I mean, they even did the animals, though, dude. Did you see the cats? I did. I did. With the little the animals, though, dude. Did you see the cats? I did. I did.

With the little sackcloth hats. It was adorable. And coats. But still, you kind of made me look like an asshole. I understand. I understand. Let me help you out here. Take a look at this.

Isn't this a nice gourd plant? Huh? Nice and shady. I mean... Right? Yeah, actually, the shade is kinda nice. Kaboom! Hey, what did you do that for? See? Nineveh is just like that.

Why would I destroy something good for no reason? Aren't you the guy who invented baby cancer? Eh, try not to think too hard about it. Sure. Sure. And that's the book of Jonah. And as far as we're getting tonight, but there are still more pointless Old Testament storylets to come on next month's Bible Peace Theater. It's time for the part of the show that comes next.

Listener feedback. This is the part of the show that nestles in between the C-segment and the outro, just like a corgi squeezing onto a full couch. Legs. Our first message comes from Louis, who asks, What the fuck is wrong with you guys? You used to be funny. He seems fun.

Huh. Now wait. He didn't be funny. He seems fun. Huh. Now wait. He didn't say we aren't funny anymore. Maybe he still thinks we're funny and he's just doing like a health and wellness check-in. Oh, it could be that. No, sorry, Lewis. Once the checks from Big Woke started rolling in, we couldn't

turn back. I mean, it's just too much. You could write us a bigger check, but I can't imagine that you have much money. Statistically. Yeah. So to be clear, Lewis didn't offer up any details beyond what we just read. But I get the feeling he's complaining about the lack of fucking transphobia or sexism. Guaranteed.

Guaranteed. It's a big thing. It's what it always is. And so, yeah, in all seriousness, dude, there are fucking plenty of shows for you. Right. And so, yeah, in all seriousness, dude, there are fucking plenty of shows for you, right? Almost the entirety of entertainment history is replete with jokes at the expense of minorities for people just like you. The fact that you begrudge one fucking podcast trying to be inclusive betrays a stunning assumption of privilege. So fuck off.

Yeah. Sorry, just real quick. I'm looking through his email for any like, you know, really good jokes that that might fit here make the show funny again. You guys come back to me I'll let you know if I find any Bon Moe from Lewis Alright, so we also got a few messages from listeners who have expressed concerns about our newest sponsor over on GAM, DraftKings Sportsbook

Yeah, ooh I found one, nope, nope it was a slur word, never mind Yeah, so when our first DraftKings ad came out a few weeks ago, a few of you really politely, and a couple of you not so politely, expressed your concern about us working with them. And we actually put a lot of thought

into what advertisers we choose to work with, which is why we don't have that sweet, sweet CBD money. But we thought we might alleviate some of the worries that we've seen expressed. Right. Yeah. So first and foremost, a few of you were uncomfortable with us just being associated with gambling at all. And while we can understand people's concerns about gambling addiction, our audience are adults. The vast majority of adults game responsibly. This is also why we chose to advertise alcohol on the show in spite of the fact that some people are

alcoholics, like some of the listeners that we know are recovered alcoholics. And those ads don't even include a minute and a half of disclaimers about what to do if you have a drinking problem, right? Yeah. Also, keep in mind that DraftKings and other sites like it are a significantly safer way to bet on sports than has ever existed in the past. Like when I was a bartender back in the fucking days of yore, I used to hand just a wad of cash from my tip jar that day to this guy who looked like a manatee in a leather

jacket. He'd like scribble something down on a napkin. I don't even think he knew how to write. He would just like fake mime scribble something and be like, yeah, I got your bet. And then I would just hope some money would come back if I won my bets. Right. Yeah. And you used to have to like bet on sports on gray or black market websites, which many times would just take your money. And not only is DraftKings a legitimate gambling website, but they go out of their way to discourage problem gambling, right?

They have limits on the size of the bets that you can make. They have limits on how long you can spend on their app, the kind of bets they'll take, et cetera, et cetera, all of which we should point out cost them money, but keep their customers safer. Right, and if you want to learn more about those steps, you don't have to take our word for it. You can read more about it on DKSaferPlay.com.

That's DKSaferPlay.com. I'll have it linked on the show notes as well. And look, we're big boys. We can take a criticizing comment here or there. See how cool we were when Lewis didn't call us funny? But when stuff comes up like this, it's worth reminding you that like, this is how we make our living, right?

We don't hide our show behind a paywall. We don't play auto ads every four and a half seconds, unlike some podcasts, me. And we go out of our way to advertise responsibly, right? We had a very lucrative ad spot with a VPN, but they had bullshit in their copy, so we cut it. We had an offer to advertise for lab-made, independently tested CBT, but we knew that a lot of the claims associated with CBD were bullshit, so we didn't take it. So when we do make a decision like this,

please know that we have actually put considerable thought into it on your behalf. Yeah, yeah. And last but not least, we got a message from listener Noah L who says, I think you guys are really funny

and I love the advertising choices that you make. Great job, guys. Nice. Also, if I wanted to see you live, say around the end of October, where would be a good place to do that? Okay, well, you are in luck, listener Noah L.

We're doing a live show in Las Vegas, Nevada on October 28th, and we even have some VIP tickets left available. I think a couple of Iridium tickets, too. So head over to GodawfulMoviesLive.com for more info. And that's all the feedback you get. If you want more, keep sending us those emails, tweets, and Facebook messages.

You'll find all the contact info on the contact page at scathing atheist.com. Before we lower the mic gently to the floor, dropping them is for people who don't have to pay for them. I want to remind everybody that there's a link to those tickets Heath was talking about on the show notes. Anyway, that's all the blast we've got for you tonight. We'll be back in 10,022 minutes with more. If you can't wait that long, be on the lookout for a brand new episode of our sister show's Hot Friend Godawful Movies,

debuting at 7 Eastern on Tuesday, and an even newer episode of our half-sister show, Citationated, debuting at noon Eastern on Wednesday. Obviously, I can't wear my podcaster name tag with pride if I don't thank Heath Enright for nerding out with me about opening week. I want to thank Eli Bosnick for putting up with Heath and I nerding out about opening week. I want to thank Lucinda Lusions for way more putting up with me nerding out about opening week than I would dare to subject Eli to. I also want to thank Canada's very own Jordan for providing this week's Farnsworth quote. And he asked me that we use this space to let you know that you can pick up your copy of the children's book, Ralph the Flying Hedgehog in the Magical Red Rain Jacket, by following the link on the show notes. book Ralph the Flying Hedgehog and the Magical Red Rain Jacket by following the link on the show notes. But most of all, of course, I want to thank this week's best people, Evan, Phil, Genevieve,

Samantha, Joshua, Josh, Rain, Tyler, RJ, Nate, Ryan, Word of the Broad, Scott, Blunt Force, Llama, Lori, Logan, Elle, Jason, JCH, Michael, Dalton, Whitney, and Shelly Belly Jellybean, who are so bright the UV protection on their sunglasses has to go both ways. Together, these 23 people, initials, delightful rhymes, and top-notch llama puns ensured we'd have the power to record another one of these things next week by giving us money. Not everybody has the money it takes to give some to us, but if you do, you can make a per-episode donation

at patreon.com slash scathingatheist, whereby you'll earn early access to an extended ad-free version of every episode, or you can make a one-time donation by clicking on the donate button on the right side of the homepage at scathingatheist.com. And if you'd like to help, but nobody gets your money without fighting you for it, you can also help a ton by leaving a five-star review, telling a friend about the show, and following us on social media. And speaking of social media, Tim Robertson handles that for us,

and our audio engineer is Morgan Clark, who also wrote all the music that was used in this episode, which was used with permission. If you have questions, comments, or death threats, you'll find all the contact info on the contact page at scathingalieness.com. I feel like Lindell Stratus is going to get repoed. The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle and a Thunderstorm LLC. Copyright 2023. All rights reserved.