The Scathing Atheist - 589: Behind Closed Doors Edition

Episode Date: May 30, 2024

In this week’s episode, God forgot to tell the pope we don’t use THAT word any more, a Florida priest takes a crime out of bite, and Anna will be here to get stuck in your head all day again. --- To make a per episode donation at Patreon.com, click here: http://www.patreon.com/ScathingAtheist To buy our book, click here: https://www.amazon.com/Outbreak-Crisis-Religion-Ruined-Pandemic/dp/B08L2HSVS8/ If you see a news story you think we might be interested in, you can send it here: [e-mail] To check out our sister show, The Skepticrat, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/the-skepticrat To check out our sister show’s hot friend, God Awful Movies, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/god-awful-movies To check out our half-sister show, Citation Needed, click here: http://citationpod.com/ To check out our sister show’s sister show, D and D minus, click here: https://danddminus.libsyn.com/ --- Guest Links: Check out Trans Sister Radio here: https://www.storythusfar.com/tsr Check out more of Anna’s music here: https://www.annabosnick.com/ --- Headlines: Pope repeatedly used a slur while referring to gay men: https://www.reuters.com/world/europe/pope-used-vulgar-italian-word-refer-lgbt-people-italian-newspapers-report-2024-05-27/ Ted Cruz sponsors pro-IVF bill (for bad reason) but Family Research Council says porn is evil: https://www.joemygod.com/2024/05/hate-group-ivf-should-be-banned-because-using-porn-to-jerk-off-to-obtain-sperm-is-bad-for-your-marriage/ https://www.texastribune.org/2024/05/20/ted-cruz-texas-ivf/ Italian teenage computer wizard set to become the first saint of the Millennial generation: https://apnews.com/article/pope-vatican-saint-millennial-acutis-tech-whiz-66b1f9e6ad80626377ef43dd1b51622b Carbon dating shows that supposed tunics of St. Peter and St. John are just old laundry: https://religionnews.com/2024/05/24/new-study-of-the-tunics-of-saints-peter-and-john-distinguish-legend-from-reality/ Catholic group sues Biden administration for denying permit for Memorial Day mass: https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/catholic-group-sues-biden-administration-for-denying-permit-for-memorial-day-mass-way-out-of-line/ar-BB1mSbbt Central Florida priest bites woman after denying her communion: https://www.wftv.com/news/local/central-florida-priest-bites-woman-after-denying-her-communion-police-say/SIVFXFMRBZBBDAEYC4DIZUS4AE/ --- This Week in Misogyny: Harrison Butker is an asshole: https://www.cbsnews.com/news/harrison-butker-commencement-speech-abortion-pride-month-biden-diabolic-lies-told-women/

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your mental illness by leaning into it and validating all the most destructive... Fuck, I just invented religion again. Sorry. And now, the scathing atheist. Hello, I'm Quinn, the co-host of Trans Sister Radio, broadcasting everything trans. And as a trans woman in today's United States, I can tell you that we did in fact evolve from filthy monkey men. In fact, some of them are still making our laws. And it's Thursday. It's May 30th.

And it's the slugs return from Capistrano Day. Not watching your vacation slides this year. I have no illusions. I'm Eli Bosnik. I'm Heath Enright. And from Bob Menendez's New Jersey, Anno, Michigan, and Waycross, Georgia, this is the Skating Atheist.

On this week's episode, God forgot to tell the Pope we don't use that word anymore. A Florida priest takes a crime out of bite. And Anno be here to get stuck in your head all day again. But first, the diatribe. I have no love for Christian missionaries. I think what they do is a worse than useless vestige of colonialism that sucks up valuable

resources and tarnishes the name of charity. That being said, I don't want them to die, which if you think about it, puts me way ahead of the people who operate Christian missions. You may have heard about the latest tragic result of this bullshit already. A young American couple were among the three missionaries shot and killed in Haiti last week. And the details of this one are pretty fucked up. They were ambushed by three trucks

as they were leaving their church. They took them to their house where they beat the shit out of the husband. They start loading up all the shit they can carry in their trucks. Then a second gang shows up to get in on the action. A gunfight breaks out between them. The three missionaries hold up at the house

at the rear of the property and desperately try to get help with their satellite phone, but to no avail. All three were shot and killed. Davy and Natalie Lloyd, ages 23 and 21, and the Haitian director of their non-profit, Jude Montes. All of them gave their lives in a futile effort to bring the word of Christ to a country that is 94% Christian. Yo, this tragedy could not have been more avoidable. Haiti is one of the most dangerous places in the world right now.

The State Department issued a whatever you do, don't go here warning about Haiti back in July of 2023. And get the fuck out of there if you are there warning not long after that. These warnings start with the words, quote, do not travel to Haiti due to kidnapping, crime, civil unrest, and poor health care infrastructure, end quote. It goes on to describe almost exactly the situation Davey and Natalie found themselves in. In the summary, it warns that, quote, violent crime, often involving the use of firearms, such as armed robbery, carjacking, and kidnappings for ransom that include US citizens are common."

But they ignored the warnings. Even as things got worse and worse around them, they ignored entreaties from their government and from their family to come home. Unlike the people in Haiti, or most of the people in Haiti anyway, they had a safe option. But apparently, convinced that God was looking over them and that their work was too important to even pause, they ignored all the red flags and then the inevitable happened. We learned about it from a panicked Facebook post from Missions in Haiti, Inc. that reads in part, quote, the gangs has shot out all the windows out of the house

and continue to shoot. Their lives are in danger. I have been trying all my contacts to get a police armored car there to evacuate them out to safety but can't get anyone to do. Please pray, going to be a long night." End quote. I was followed about three hours later from a second post that read in its entirety, quote, Davy and Natalie and Jude were shot and killed by the gang around nine o'clock this evening. We are all devastated." End quote. And I include those posts not for shock value, by the way, but as a reminder that when people do this, it's never just themselves that they're endangering.

They tried to get more people to come into an active firefight to rescue them. And as for Jude, the Haitian director that never had the option to escape to the U.S., it's worth mentioning here that the State Department travel advisory specifically mentions that Americans are being regularly targeted for kidnapping. So even just their presence was no doubt putting everyone they traveled with in danger. And I'm not saying that to vilify them, right? They're the victims here in more ways than one. I'm just saying that the blame doesn't just lie with the people who pulled the trigger. It also lies with everybody who put them in the firing line, the whole fucking culture that told them that they were doing

something that was so goddamn vital it was worth dying for. I'm reminded of that asshat John Allen Chow, who tried to teach that uncontacted tribe off the coast of India about Jesus and got shot to death by an arrow. Now in this instance he was risking exposing them to diseases that could wipe them out and breaking a whole host of laws and shit so I'm fine vilifying that guy. But like the Lloyds, he was a victim of the culture that lionized missionary work far more than the people who physically killed him. He was told that these people were all gonna burn in hell for eternity after they died. If that's true, the math works out. Right? It's worth risking an unintentional biological genocide if you have a realistic chance

of preventing eternal damnation for a huge group of people. And obviously things are different in this instance, right? Davey grew up in Haiti. He loved the country. He wanted to give back to it. That's commendable. I'm sure both of them were doing all this shit for the right reason and they made it clear that this was something they were willing to risk their lives to do. And that's commendable too. The shame isn't so much that they died, it's that they died for so little. It's that they had been taught that people's souls were a thing and that those were a thing

worth risking your life for, that God was a thing and that he would protect them, that heaven was a thing and that giving your life for the gospel was a fast track to paradise, if they'd known the truth, if they had been older and wiser, or if the older and wiser people around them didn't foster such a naive worldview in them, who the hell knows what decisions they might have made. But instead, they were raised in a culture that told them that what they were doing wasn't just important, it was heroic. This was a culture that elevated dumbasses like Chow and will no doubt do the same with Davey and Natalie and in so doing they will condemn the next Davey and Natalie to the same fate joining me for headlines tonight are the Luigi and Toad to my Mario Heathen

right in the Eli Bosnick fellas I know I used that one last week, but apparently I fucked it all up. Is that better? OK, Luigi, straight fireball. I like it. Just go straight out. Exactly. And I'm the one everyone picks as their favorite. All right. And quick before Eli remembers what Stormy Daniels said about everybody's favorite, we're going to pause for a word from this week's sponsor, Better Help.

Still, though, this show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Guys, where'd you go? We've got more podcasts to record. I'm trying. Tell Heath to get off me. Heath, why are you sitting on Eli's chest? Oh, I'm personifying his depression. OK, why?

Because, Noah, it's important to admit when we need help. And I found this metaphor keeps Eli on his toes about that. It's true. It's true. When he does this, it really gets me taking my walk again. I mean, Eli, that's great. But have you just tried therapy? Ah, therapy? I thought therapy was just for people who are like, No, not at all. Therapy is a great way to deal with anxiety and depression, but it can also be helpful for learning positive coping skills and how to set boundaries.

It empowers you to be the best version of yourself. Wow, that sounds amazing, but what if I don't have a therapist near me who I like? If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire and get matched with a licensed therapist to switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Wow, so no awkward therapist breakups? No, no awkward therapist breakups. Get it off your chest with BetterHelp.

Visit BetterHelp.com slash scathing today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash scathing. All right Noah, thanks. All right, so you guys ready to record? Yeah, almost. Do you mind joining Eli as my painful high school memories before we do? Just hop right on. Oh, yeah, sure sure. I call top!

You always call top! Well, I'm heaviest. That's why you don't? This doesn't help with my painful high school memories. Hahahaha! And now, back to the headlines. In our lead story tonight, Pope Francis is a bad human being who enables badness for a living. He's the fucking Joe camel of religious figures.

He's there to put a cutesy smiling face on something that's evil and terrible and does only harm in the world. And yet, whenever you point that out, people will flood the space to explain that you don't get it. It's funny because camels can't play pool, but... Where did he get cue? Right. Yeah. How is he holding it? But he went ahead and armed his detractors with a bit more ammunition last week when he used an anti-gay slur during a closed door meeting about how gay men shouldn't be allowed to be priests. Okay. So now Frankie just needs to, well, stop using hateful slurs, I guess regardless of angular door position, that's a weird thing to consider, and also pay the victims of his group more generously just like a cigarette company, and then he rises to the level of Joe Camel,

ethically speaking. Yeah, you're right. Almost there, bud. Yeah, no offense to Joe Camel. I mean, we don't know if Joe Camel doesn't use the F slur behind it. So yeah, so quick thanks to Tony, who is like the first of 11 people in a row to send us this story at scathingnews.gmail.com. But we love it, by the way, don't let that discourage you from sending a mail.

When we see the same story 11 times in a row, that's just a cha-ching for us. That's right. Exactly. Apparently this happened early last week. There's this closed door meeting to open a four day Italian bishops' conference and the question of whether gay men should be allowed into the seminary was on the docket. And when Pope Franny Oakley was asked to chime in,

he said no, because there was already too much gayness in seminaries to begin with, except he didn't use the term gayness, he used an Italian slur, which unlike virtually every story I saw about this, I will neither use nor translate for you here. I feel like you could figure it out. And you know what? I don't think the substance of the story changes if you can't. Okay, but let's just take a moment. The Pope said the F-slur, the rock of St. Peter's Church, whose appointment was heralded by white smoke from the Cathedral

pyre was like, no, we don't need any of those, what are they called? It's on the tip of my tongue. You know what I mean? You know what I meant? Yeah, right. Now, the Pope has come out and apologized, but even before there was an official comment, the unnamed bishops who sourced the news stories were trying to make real time excuses for it. A few of them said he only used the term jokingly as though that was somehow exculpatory. Another suggested that perhaps as a native Spanish speaker,

he didn't know the term was derogatory. Nope. And well, I guess that's better than the he was only kidding excuse. It also kind of ignores the fact that even if he'd used the most polite possible term, the thing he was saying is still disgusting. In fact, not to speak on behalf of a minority I don't belong to or anything, but I feel like the actual discrimination and its justification are far more offensive than the slur. Also, he's fluent in Italian and he did know it was derogatory. That's a lie.

Yes. Either he learned it by hearing it, and I guarantee every single time he's heard any word related to gay being spoken by, you know, somebody who talks to him, the pope, it's been derogatory in context. Yeah. And regardless, he used it in a derogatory context. Yes. The only other option is he Googled like Italian word for gayness and it came up with a non slur at the top

And then he scrolled down and learned a new word. Yeah, I don't think they put slurs in that list And if you really want to get them say this well, I mean I've since they added ai I mean, yeah No, like the very second thing is like a big list of different italian slurs for that for oh, is it really? Yeah, oh, all right. But yes. So one of the most frustrating things about Pope Francis's pontificate has been how every time he goes out and he's like, you know, it turns out the gays are people.

The international media goes crazy seeing who can organize the biggest fucking parade for him, even if the follow up is. But they still deserve eternal damnation. And it is right. He presides over an institution that excludes gay people as a matter of policy, fights tooth and nail against same-sex marriage all over the world, and teaches that homosexuality is a mortal sin. But possibly the biggest news story about his entire tenure was that time when he made

a throwaway comment about, you know, who am I to judge gay people who seek the love of God, even though he clearly then judged them in an official capacity before and after saying that shit. So as low as it is on his list of abuses, him straight up using anti-gay slurs should make for a hell of a rhetorical counterpoint whenever people want to start singing his fucking praises to you next time. And in sin-conceivable news, uterine autonomy continues not being a federal law, and that means red states all over the country are working out their individual versions of how exactly they are taking away control of certain body parts from the owners of those body parts.

Most of those places are operating under the insane idea that a sperm and an egg is the same as a human being being with all the legal rights that go along with that. And one of the many absurd consequences, in vitro fertilization, becomes legally insane and that incredible miracle of modern science might become completely unavailable in those places. This can be solved in two ways. One, bodily autonomy for everybody and comes not a person.

Thank you. Or two, make a law protecting IVF so that Christian theocrats can still deny bodily autonomy to more than half the population without getting arguments about IVF specifically. And of course, Ted Cruz went with option two and just co-sponsored a new bill along with fellow Republican, Katie Britt, that would deny Medicaid funding

to any state that bans IVF. Yeah, you can bet that if option one is biologically and morally consistent, you know the Republicans are going to opt for two. They don't have to hear two before they opt for it. Right. No. Exactly. OK, what if we get a Ghostbuster to suck out the soul of the embryo while we're freezing them? And then we'll push it and we'll put it back in. Don't worry. We're fix it. Spoilers We're gonna get to the Family Research Council in a second

So big thanks to Jaclyn for the link scathingnews at gmail.com if you want to help out So just in case it seems like Ted Cruz was doing something for a good reason, by which I mean slightly less evil than normal reason. No, he's actually not. No, this was very clearly a way to make the anti-choice platform a bit easier to weasel during an argument for sure. But more importantly for Cruz personally, it's his latest attempt at looking, you know, extra medium because he's currently up for reelection and his campaign team determined

that he needs to get some votes from moderate conservatives and independent voters in order to win. He doesn't have like a deep and abiding love for the science of IVF. He's a liar. And Cruz's opponent in the upcoming election, Democrat Colin Allred, made sure to explain very clearly that Ted Cruz is in fact a liar, again, more. Allred released a statement last week saying, quote, "'Let's be clear, Ted Cruz's longstanding support for an extreme ban on abortion, which is now threatening IVF, is why we're here. Cruz brags about his long record of working to take away

reproductive freedom, including supporting extreme personhood legislation and opposing exceptions for rape, incest, and unviable pregnancies." End quote. Yeah, adding quote, also how the fuck is convincing people Ted Cruz sucks a job? How the fuck is Ted Cruz not made us redundant? End quote.

Yeah, honestly, the fact that you have to convince anyone not to vote for Ted Cruz is the perfect proof that democracy was a mistake, right? We just declare ourselves the winner because we had to convince you. Yeah, well, here's the other side of the idiot fight that I alluded to earlier. Cruz is apparently, you know,

a moderate Republican theocrat fascist when it comes to this issue. And representing the worse than Ted Cruz team is of course the Family Research Council and here's the official take from Mary Zocke the director of their so-called Center for Human Dignity go fuck yourself nope yeah not that and if you're gonna be team worse than Ted Cruz you gotta go hard in the paint with your stupid and evil and I think she pulled it off

according to Mary Zock, quote, pornography is an integral part of the IVF process. And the husband's use of pornography, this is real. The husband's use of pornography. It's a real quote. Typically how sperm is obtained, that's not good for a marriage. We know that pornography goes against what God tells us about the dignity of men and

women in the marital act. And exact quote. Okay. So as a person who grew up pre-internet, I have to point out it's not integral, right? It's useful, but you can get it done without it. Right. But oh, to be a fly on the wall when Mary's husband explained that they actually made him use the porn for the...

They said... They said I had to, Mary. I wanted to just think about you. And in that's Catholic news. One of the multitudinous problems of having a faith that believes in miracles is that miracles have an expiration date. Sure, it's all well and good to talk about miracles from a couple hundred years before cameras were around, snapping that damn photographic proof you've heard so much about, but nowadays

miracles are thin on the ground. And without miracles, you can't have saints. Without saints, people start running out of fucking saint merch to buy. So this week, Pope Francis is the only gender identity and everything else is an abomination against God paved the way for the world's first millennial saint by verifying the second miracle done by a teenager's corpse. Yeah, this is the least disturbing thing the Catholic Church has done to a teenage boy in a while, but it's still disturbing.

Yeah, for sure. First off, big thanks to Bill for sending us this story to scathingnews at gmail.com. I'm not saying if you send us news to scathingnews at gmail.com, our kids will become friends and we'll play board games together. But that's what happened with Bill. Draw your own conclusions. So. Wait, really?

Yeah. Nice. So the saint in question is Carlo Acuti, a 15 year old Italian kid who used his considerable talent for computers to create a website that catalogs miracles for the Catholic Church and unintentionally, our Devil's Advocate segment on this show, as well as some websites for local parishes. Then, in 2006, he died of leukemia that God gave him. And can I say, weird way to treat your fans.

Yeah, I'm glad we finally see eye to eye on that one, Eli. Okay, so I get that God killed a child because that child was gonna do at least two miracles as a ghost That's just good math right there. Obviously, I feel like you don't have to kill the child with Blood cancer, right? There's just like so many other ways to kill a child like make a spectacle if you're doing the same hood thing like learn To do some branding exactly do it up one of those shredder machines that they're always putting stuff on. Less painful than blood cancer would be great. Sure. Anyway, at the time of his death, lots of people were calling for him to be canonized, which disappointingly means made a saint not

buried by being shot out of a cannon. Spectacle! There you go, brain story. Thank you. Yeah, exactly. Anyways, it became the job of Catholics everywhere to start lying about healings and other untrackable stuff related to this child's corpse, which now lies in state in Assisi, Italy. Side note, they included a picture of the body and its little peekaboo window in the article. And I would be thoroughly weirded out to go into a church and sit next to a teenager's dead body in a tracksuit every Sunday. But you know, that's me.

That's me. Well, judging by the average teenager's enthusiasm about church, how would you even know which one was the dead one? Really? That's fair. Yeah. What would you prefer him to be wearing? Suit?

Suit? Right? Tracksuit feels weird. Okay. For a saint? Yeah. It's a formal, like a three piece, like a waist-kick, the whole thing. It feels like a formal affair. Doesn't that also mean that he's like in heaven

with the other saints and fucking Saint Paul's up there and he's just like, look, a zipper. Like, I just, there's a lot about it I don't like. So you're probably wondering, what are the miracles of the millennial saint? Perhaps the disappearance of a regrettable Harry Potter tattoo or a mass healing of lung damage from hitting the jewel too hard. No, no, no, my friends.

The first is the healing of a seven-year-old Brazilian boy from a rare pancreatic disorder after coming into contact with a relic of the saint. What relic, you ask? I shit you not, a piece of one of his t-shirts. What? It can't be a fucking relic if it has a Mountain Dew stain on it. I'm sorry. That has to be a rule.

It's got Axe body spray, man. This doesn't count. Yeah, absolutely not. This is a mysterious way, though. So if you're keeping score at home for this particular mysterious way, God had to kill a kid with blood cancer and then almost kill another kid with an extremely painful pancreatic thing. It's tricky. It's tricky.

But don't worry, the second miracle is actually even weaker than that. According to Vatican News, the second miracle recognized on Thursday is related to a woman from Costa Rica who in July of 2022 made a pilgrimage to Acuti's tomb in Assisi to pray for the healing of her daughter who had suffered severe head trauma after falling from her bicycle. And the miracle is that the daughter started showing signs of recovery immediately after her mother's plea. Okay, well fucking hearing that dumb shit gave me head trauma so that one cancels out. Okay, and one more piece of the grand plan here. God threw a big stick into the spokes of a Costa Rican girl and made her fly off her

bike and smash her face, therefore making it possible for the kid that he killed with blood cancer 16 years ago to check that second box and get canonized by helping a guy with the pancreatic thing, another kid that was fucked up by God. Yeah, exactly. So yeah, it looks like we're well on our way to getting our first saint with a YouTube account that is assuming the devil's advocate isn't granted a peak in his incognito wed history.

And speaking of devil's advocates, it's time for us to hand things over to my lovely wife, Lucinda. A man wrote the Bible. A horse was smart. If it's a legitimate race. If it's a slot, right? Cooking can be fun.

Hey, I'm proud of a man. This week in Massage. Massage. Massage. Massage. Massage. Massage. Alright, so to be clear, I know that the guys talked about the whole Harrison Butger thing

last week, but that doesn't mean I don't still have some shit to say about it. Because here you got this lucky motherfucker who gets to have a pretend job that makes him millions. He's a fucking kicker. 60 minutes of football, he's doing literally anything for what? Two minutes, two and a half? And for that, he's fortunate enough

to make millions of dollars and afford a lifestyle where his wife doesn't have to work if she doesn't want to. And let me just say, when you've got it that good, I feel like the play is just to hold as still as you can and hope nobody notices that and makes you get a real job. But instead, this asshole gives a commencement address at Benedictine College where he rails against abortion, pride month, COVID restrictions, and working women. And who the fuck even knows why, right? Maybe he's just sick of people who find out that he plays for the Chiefs asking if he can get them an autograph from Taylor Swift. Of course, there was plenty

to hate in his speech, but the part that really went viral was the misogyny. And for good reasons, not the least of which was the fact that he was addressing a crowd that included a bunch of women who just got their fucking degrees. The beginning of their career as working women was some asshole who's never worked a day in his life telling them to take off their shoes and get back in the kitchen. So there's obviously backlash, and then there's backlash to the backlash by a bunch of thin-skinned white boys who scream cancel culture every time the world rejects their beliefs. Never mind that the news articles when this broke weren't quoting offended voices on Twitter or Facebook, but rather offended women who were in that audience being told that they were uterus first, in person

second. There was also more dismissal than I'd have liked. A lot of, well, they went to a Catholic college, what did they expect, type shit, and that has no place in this discussion. First of all, you decide what college you're going to when you're a kid, generally. I'm not about to condemn somebody for not having it all figured out at 17 or 18. Secondly, not every kid has autonomy to go to whatever school they want. If mom and dad are paying for it, you're going to the school they're willing to pay for. If not, things like tuition cost, acceptance

standards, scholarships, and proximity to home are going to be the deciding factors for most people. But even if they picked this school off of a menu with all the schools in the world and did so with a wisdom far beyond their years, that's still no excuse for this asshole to come into their school and tell them all about the joys of motherhood after they just got their fucking business degrees. And look, I'm not saying that being a kicker is easy. I'm just saying it's easier than all the other positions in football, or indeed all of professional sports for that matter.

And if you're thinking, well, listen, it's not like you can kick a ball 60 yards downfield. I say let's put Harrison's testicles on a tee and find out. Anyway, that's all the time I've got this week. But if you've missed me as much as I miss you on the weeks I'm gone, the best way to make sure there are more Twim segments is to send me good Twim stories to scathingnews at gmail.com. And if you really want to make my life easy, add Twim or for Lucinda to the subject line. And with that reminder, I'll wrap things up and hand you back over to Noah, Heath, and Eli. Thank you, Lucinda.

And into Nick of Time news tonight, really, the Vatican made the mistake of testing their shit again. So it turned out to not be what they said it was. But they decided that even though it was a demonstrable lie, since it was a really old lie, it still counts, which is the basis of their entire worldview. So I guess it shouldn't surprise us. But in this instance, they did it with regards to a couple of tunics said to be those of

Saint Peter and Saint John the Evangelist. They were in the Vatican's possession and after decades of resisting it, they finally got them carbon dated. Definitely not that, as it turns out. Not a good idea to do that carbon dating. The best case scenario was Yeah, they're old long shirts, man. Yep. Nobody's mom wrote Peter or John on the tag though Yeah, they're old shirts. Great job worst case scenario The answer is you've been lying for centuries about long shirts, which is really weird

Yeah, not a smart gamble, guys. Guys, we gotta stop testing anything. Testing's not our thing. It's just not our thing. So they held out for a while, to be clear. Carbon dating, that's been around since the 1940s. This is not a case of they used a cutting edge technology. But apparently until recently, their excuse was that these sacred vestments had been housed in the, we were using the name way before it became this funny, So we're keeping it chamber called the holiest of holies, right?

You can't just take stuff out of the holiest of holies for carbon dating But apparently they were falling apart to such a degree that they had to get them restored anyway And then once they did that it kind of fucked up their these are too holy to take out of the box excuse So they went ahead and had them tested. I can't list them in mint from now on. Yeah, right, right, yeah. Look up on eBay. And it came back though that the one that was supposed to belong to St. Peter, the apostle that got

to be the first Pope because he got Jesus's riddle right, was made at least 600 years after he died. Or, or the globalists snuck in and shot a bunch of carbon-14 into the Holy of Holies. Yeah. No, that could have been it, sure. Did you see any Jew lizards standing outside the box chanting, lead, lead, lead, lead, lead?

Now, the other tunic, the one that was supposed to belong to St. John the Evangelist, was far older, but still at least decades and probably a century or more too old to be legit. That being said, as loathe as I am to agree with the people that run the Vatican museums, they're still impressively old, right? They had to be restored to a damn near ship of Theseus degree. And they were originally just some shirt some guy suckered a king into buying for a lot of money. But any shirt from 1900 or 1300 years ago is still pretty fucking cool. And these ones apparently have been displayed by kings and noblemen for centuries before the Vatican got a hold of them.

OK, somewhere there's like a Dead Sea Scroll that's just a diary of some guy named John being like, I sold my old shirt today for eight thousand shekels. Yeah, yeah. This is great. I'm going to do another shirt in a few weeks with like Peter on the tag. This is such a good day. And of course, now that they're all all restored they had to admit that they were bullshit it would be weird to put them back in the holiest of holies so instead they're going on permanent display at the Vatican Museum. So you know next time

you're there be sure to check them out and if you wear a Skating Atheist t-shirt during your visit you actually won't be the first because our listeners are awesome and they very often share pictures of their awesomeness with us. I recently saw a picture of Ian doing exactly that. It was awesome. Bonus points if you can get the Pope to call you a slur. Like a lot of bonus points actually. Yeah, I had to think about that.

I was like, no, no, you're allowed to trick people into saying, yeah. And in Archdiocese news, attorneys for the Catholic charity group, the Knights of Columbus, filed a motion for a temporary restraining order against the National Park Service in Petersburg, Virginia on Tuesday. You guys know that sounds insane, right? Already, without any other details? Sure does. Sure does.

After officials refused to grant a permit for their annual religious service at the Poplar Grove National Cemetery for the second year in a row. Okay, maybe don't call it annual, you fucking liars. No lying on the board. Denied. There you go.

Everybody's a liar. Yeah, because, well, they're suing because apparently holding religious services while literally standing on the graves of people who don't share your faith is less disrespectful than not letting someone do that. Right. Yeah. I'm just saying based on the outcome of this lawsuit, I may have to look into the legality of being buried in quicksand, right?

Or a fucking a tomb with a bunch of Indiana Jones traps on the way in. Ooh, great idea. Yeah, first off, big thanks to Brian who sent us this story to scathingnews at gmail.com. If you send us atheist news to scathingnews at gmail.com, we promise to never do a religious service for a faith you don't share on top of your rotting corpse. A promise that the Knights of Columbus won't make you because for the

last 60 years until last year, they've been holding their annual Memorial Day service at a national cemetery, which is not only not entirely Christian, it's not even majority Catholic. But like so many things, religious bullshit, they've been doing it for a long time. So now they're literally suing to keep doing it. It's the cherry mandering of theocracy everybody. Yeah, no, this is very clearly a case where the thing that they were doing has been against the rules since 1986. But until now, the rules haven't applied to them because they're Christian and white. Well, Italian.

Thank you. Hey, Knights of Columbus, I'm assuming you were the only people who got denied that permit last year, but that's probably because nobody else demanded that permit and just went anywhere else. That's not persecution. That's you're an asshole. The exact location of Memorial Day Magic doesn't matter.. That's you're an asshole. The exact location of Memorial Day magic doesn't matter. You're just an asshole.

If anything, you're making your magic bad by doing it in a place where people might not want it. Now, the Biden administration explained to the Washington Times last year, quote, National cemeteries are established as national shrines in tribute to those who have died in service to those who have died in service to our country and as such any special activities within the cemetery are reserved for a limited set of official commemorative activities that have a connection to military service or have historic and commemorative significance for the particular national cemetery end quote. Not adding for the particular national cemetery." End quote.

Not adding, and you guys just kind of declared that it's a Catholic thing now, which is really fucking weird. Right? And so is having cemeteries. That's weird. We should stop doing that. Well, sure, yeah.

For real. And by the way, if you're wondering why Eli's quoting from a right-wing rag like the Washington Times, it's that only right-wing rags are covering this fucking story, right? But it's that only right wing rags are covering this fucking story, right? It's the latest extremely Catholic Catholic guy, Joe Biden hates Catholic talking points for the likes of Fox News, the New York Post, the Washington Examiner, and Al.

And it doesn't rise to the level of news for anyone else. Yeah. Now, regular listeners to the show already know how this show ends. Three days ago, the Parks Department granted the Knights of Columbus their request, so they got to have a big old illegal Catholicism in a public national graveyard restoring their 60-year tradition of not caring about the religion the bodies they were trampling on were when they were alive. Okay, so now I'm curious. When the Knights of Columbus had to go somewhere else last year, what was the tragic magical consequence that happened? I want to know. Right, yeah, for sure.

Just a bunch of Catholic soldiers standing around in heaven in their old uniforms. Any minute now. Well, fuck. Come on. Come on. They'll have the form better. And look, I want to be realistic here, right? I know those corpses don't care about what religion they were, and they're essentially

standing in a field talking to themselves, which by Catholic standards is pretty harmless. But these non-Catholic soldiers had families. And personally, if Christians come and do a ceremony on top of my grave, you're gonna learn if there's an afterlife pretty fucking quick, depending on if a hand bursts through the ground and drags them down into the dirt with me. And finally tonight, in Eucharist Control News, we have a physical fight over a communion wafer, and the priest bit someone. And of course course it happened in the lovely state of Florida The headline is basically Florida man bites lady during cracker dispute

By the way, he's a priest and we mean cracker the food not the race during a service at st Thomas Aquinas Church in st. Cloud, Florida last week, a lady walked up to get a communion wafer, the priest didn't want to give it to her, and eventually a grown adult who believes his job is to represent the values of the God of the universe sank his literal teeth into another grown adult over a cracker. Because this is Florida and that's how it works now. Okay, so, but, all right, hear me out. This is one of the few things I would go to mass to see.

Right. Like if cracker fights, red and tooth and claw started breaking out on the regular, I would wake up early on a Sunday for the chance. And that's exactly. Yeah. Forget Taylor Swift. Each week you get a special guest Jew to try to steal the Eucharist Is Goldberg still wrestling? I feel like you could do him for like Christmas. What about combined Taylor's album red in tooth and claw? Okay, and a big thanks to Stormy D was the first of

hundreds of people Scathing news at gmail.com but always send it always the This link scathing news at gmail.com but always send it always the chances of us missing this are so important So here's how it all went down Local police were dispatched to a Catholic Church to respond to a 478. That's a Eucharist fight with a biting attack Here's what they learned from the biting victim who has not been identified by name She explained that she tried to receive communion, but father Fidel refused. She said, he wouldn't give me the cookie. I don't know if it was the way I was dressed or if it's what I'm like. And a witness seemed to agree telling the cops that the victim was singled out because of her sexuality and the way she was dressed.

Okay. If this was like an Eli taking the stage outfit, I will buy this lady a lifetime supply of crackers. Exactly. Yeah. And look, I'm all for faking it to expose Christian hypocrisy, but you got to know it's not a cookie, right, lady? Did she say cookie because wafer? I think she said cookie because wafer.

I think it was just to bother the church. It's not a cracker. We'll get to it. Yeah. So the victim never got the cracker magic and she came back to another service. And that's when the biting happened. According to the same witness from before,

quote, the priest tried to forcefully shove it in her mouth. She backed up. She said, no, don't do that. And she tried to get it. And that's when he went crazy. Okay, I feel like there's so much of this story that we're not getting, it. And that's when he went crazy. Okay. I feel like there's so much of this story that we're not getting, but I kind of hope there also isn't right.

That that's just what happened. Well, here's the story. According to father Fidel, he said the woman came in for a service and she didn't know the proper procedure for receiving the cracker magic. Obviously that matters. So he kicked her out of the line with no wafer then she came back to another service and this time she tried to grab The wafer he claims that's when he was like no no cracker for you And he held the way for a way to block it and he said to her. I'm not judging you

I'm asking you did you confess after mass if you did not confess I cannot give you communion." And then he fully admitted to biting a woman over a cracker while talking to the cops. He said that to them. He said he was protecting it because of course, it's the literal body of Jesus Christ telling the police exact quote, I bit her. I am not denying that. I am defending myself and the sacrament. Myself? Do you think she was going to eat you to get to the cracker? I mean, it is Florida, Noah. It is Florida. Yeah, I withdraw.

Okay, so we spend a lot of our time delving into all the ways that religion is a terrible concept that's bad for the world. We've been doing that for ten plus years, but this is a new one. Yep, we found a new one. Congrats to the Florida man, I guess. So let's add it to the list on top of terrible politics, impeding the progress of science, rampant bigotry, wars, genocide. Religion also means heated arguments

over the magical status of a cracker and somebody gets mauled by a rabid clergyman at the end. Yeah. Okay, I'm putting it on the board. And confident that there'll be even more shit to add to the board next time. We're gonna close the headlines for the night. Heath, Eli, thanks as always. Ogiller.

And when we come back, you'll get serenaded. Psst. Psst. Hey, podcast listener over here. It's me, Eli Bosnic, the heart and soul of the podcast and your favorite of the three hosts. Look, no one, Heath, don't want me to tell you this, but as of this recording, we are at 654 new and upgrading patrons for our annual pledge drive matriarch. That means we're doing an episode of D&D minus with Heath is The DM it means you're getting behind-the-scenes scaling content It means we're doing coffee animas at the matriarch pajama party this week

But it also means we're just 46 pledges away from the guys having to do one Episode of one of my terrible show ideas. And that 46th person could be you. So bump your pledge or pledge to any of our shows over at patreon.com today, and you could make that happen. But hurry, when you're listening to this is literally the last day you're gonna be able to do it. So don't wait. Again, that's any of our Patreons

and you can bump your pledge at matreon.com. That's M-A-Y-T-R-E-O-N dot com. Eli, why are you in the voiceover booth? No, then I was just, um... Cameo, no you didn't! God damn it. Long before we had wish.com to serve as the universal example of a half-ass knockoff of the real thing, we had Christian Music.

Which we like to remind you of on a far too infrequent segment that we call... God Awful Music. And of course, if we're going to talk music, we need to bring in our resident expert, Anna Bosnik. Anna, welcome back to the the show we've missed you. And I you I'm back with a bop baby. Aren't you though? Oh yeah. So tell us Anna what will be breaking down today? Oh my god I'm so excited for this. We are breaking down Anything Is Possible by the band Zoey Girl. All right. And how bad was this music?

Oh, boy. OK. If you were a fan of the girl groups of the late 90s, early 2000s, you probably fell in love with the Spice Girls, Destiny's Child, Dream, Pussycat Dolls, Cheetah Girls, you know, the music that all the other girls listen to that the not like other girls didn't like. If you were into that kind of music, but every time you went to the record store, your parents were like, we already have that at home.

Zoe girl is what you had at home. Yeah. Okay. I was into all those ones you named at the beginning. Yeah. A lot. Yeah. It's probably a lot of my sexual development

is based on like what some of those things. You know, mine too. My age in the nineties is kind of, yeah, it's it's probably a lot of my sexual development is based on like what some of those things You know mine too. My age in the 90s. It's kind of yeah, right. Okay same. Yeah, it's sporty spice sporty spice I had some real real interesting things going on. Yeah, absolutely baby spice was better insult Yeah, but all bi girls had a thing for sporty spice. So yeah, and Heath. Yep, so The bi girl of podcasting I I've always said that about it. I looked up Zoe Girl. I didn't know Zoe Girl, the band. So I looked them up. You're welcome. Their names are Alyssa, Kristin and Chrissy. Kristin and Chrissy have hyphenated last names because of course they do. And you can see from the cover shot of the album that this is from

that we listened to and you can see the cover shot the whole time, you can see that Kristin and Chrissy hate Alyssa. Yeah. Yeah. And Alyssa's trying so hard to like push into the shot of three people. And the other ones are like, get out. You're fucking up the alliteration. Imagine me stepping into Cecil's wedding photos through use

of a time machine. That is what the cover of this band looks like. It's like if David A.R. White's ex-wife had a girl group of her and her two clones. It's kind of, it's very, the wife from all the god-awful movies that you guys have done. Yeah. By the way, this band broke up and Kristin and Chrissy immediately found somebody named Kelly to be their third. And he started- Oh! Fuck off, Alyssa.

Oh my God. You can just see it in the album cover, yeah. You sure can. Whole future is written right there. Where's that behind the music, huh? Yeah. All right, so yeah, so the song is called Anything Is Possible. We're gonna start with a little intro music, set the Yeah. All right. So, so yeah, so the song is called Anything Is Possible.

We're going to start with a little intro music, set the mood for the song. Oh, you know, the harpsichord, way underutilized in pop music. Isn't it? There's a reason. Sir Thomas Beecham once described harpsichord as sounding like, quote, two skeletons copulating on a tin roof, end quote. I don't know who that is, who Thomas Creecham is, but it's like that quote is worth remembering him for by itself.

Right, exactly. Oh, absolutely. And he's accurate, honestly. This intro is weird. I was like, okay, Link is entering a bordello in a Zelda game. I'm listening, though. I am listening. Well, and then it does this like hip-hop version of burping in the middle of your toast. It was trying to get all fancy. It has the wet fart bass. You know exactly what I'm talking about. So, okay, so then we get our first verse.

It starts off, she says, I know what you've been thinking and I wrote, I feel like you don't. Yeah, what is it that all Disney villains say? I don't pay you to think! Yeah, right. Thank you. So... I'm trying to make think happen. It goes on to say, I see it in your eyes, you're holding on to something. Generally not something done with eyes. Right? So, yeah. Off to a great start. It carries on, but still you don't know why. Yeah, and can I say? Weird theory of mind insertion, girl group. Yeah. Right?

Look, it's his dick. He's holding his dick and I know why. But then it implores us, quote, so walk by faith and not by what you see. Oh, oh, sure. Because you've been blinded by holding things with your eyes. Yeah, that'll do it. That'll cause the problem. I just wrote my notes. You're going to run into a lot of walls, but trust me, it's worth it. It's totally worth it.

You just said you could see something in my eyes. You were looking with your eyes. I heard you in the song. Consistent. Stop lying. And the verse ends with trust your heart and let yourself believe. Right, and look, I know it might be hard to sort of understand because we've been talking about it, but that verse is nonsense, right?

It's, I see in your eyes, you're holding something that you don't know why you're holding it, so be my religious. Right, yep. Seriously, if you were trying to fail a theory of mind test, that verse was perfect. Oh, God. Your eyes look like something. Be more Christian now.

Right. I think they failed the Turing test. It doesn't get better with the chorus. I can do things, things you never knew. Fucking so can I yeah, right? They're supposed to be voicing Jesus or God here, right? Yes, but it feels like I'm hearing one side of an argument by someone on the phone in my elevator and it's yeah I can do fucking things

Things you never knew you don't know Things? Fuck you. Things you never knew. You don't know. Yeah, I could do things. Things you never knew. Change your world. Make it all brand new. And I'm like, okay, it's supposed to be God, but this sounds like you're, it's like a mouth thing, right? Like a thing you do with your tongue or something, right? Oh, sure. Sure. And it does, it continues to. The next line is, I can do miracles if you want me to. Okay. Again, this is supposed to be on behalf of God. So I feel like lots of people have asked for miracles and you have not come through on that.

So. And as if in rebuttal to Eli's argument, it says it ends with anything is possible for you. Wait, for me? I thought it was God. I thought we were talking about for- Not for you, man. You know, they use the church organ

in the orchestration here. So like, I kind of love the references to like a funeral dirge over the weird, wet sounding bass of the 90s. Again, that like, wow, like, they really, yeah, yeah, you can hear it gurgle. Yeah, it was nostalgic for me for sure. They saw the video for Hit Me Baby One More Time, Britney Spears, very clearly, and they decided to steal the orchestra hits and the Catholic

Mm-hmm. Oh wait, I'm sure that wasn't the last line of the course. Wait, they have more to say Let me do them their justice. The final line is anything anything anything Anything is possible. Okay, but they were like, keep the chorus churchy with the harpsichord again, but then the porn music and the interlude afterward, I am surprised they didn't add the voice of God saying, oh yeah. Yeah, oh yeah. You know?

So then we get the second verse. I know your heart's been broken. You feel so all alone okay choose so alone or all alone that line that line makes me feel so really very super fucking annoying just crammed into the rhyme scheme just trying to put the star in the square hole very rhymes with very shut up Just take out so you feel all alone. I mean it even fits the- dumb. Dumb.

But I will never leave you lonely. Just admitted you were doing that already. Stop crying in your song. We call you twice now in like a minute. Lies. I will never let you go. What is it, Yahweh won't run around on you like those other gods have? Yeah.

Or, interpreted differently, it was a threat. Like, Kathy Bates in Misery. Oh, God. I will never let you go. I'm hammering your ankles right now. Oh, Jesus. You're Christians forever. So, and once again, we get this.

So, walk by faith and not what you see. It's up to you to let your heart believe. Oh, it's my fault that I'm lonely. Oh, God, I am. Right. You said you could do miracles if I want. I'd like to call that in now. Right, yes.

Yeah, yeah, totally. I'll give it a second. I'll give it a second. Mm-hmm. Nope, still atheist. Okay. No. So again, we get the chorus.

I can do things, things you never knew. I am going to need a single example if this is going to be the thesis of the whole fucking song. Right. A single example. Just one. Change your world, make it all brand new. And I'm just like, again, imagine how disappointed you'd be if you met this chick and she's like, I can do things you never knew, change your world, make it all brand new.

You get home and she just met Jesus stuff. She's like, let's start with Corinthians I don't know. I don't know. She might wash your feet or something. Right? No, that's very sexual I mean anything to leave a club for me. I'd be like Whatever exits me from this noisy bill Yeah, I can do miracles if you want me to. Oh yeah, I guess. I haven't wanted to do this. Yeah, right, right, yeah.

Anything is possible for you. And then it's time for us to transition to the bridge. And the last time someone transitioned to a bridge this clumsily, they had to close the port of Baltimore. You guys. It goes, if I can make the heavens, if I can make it rain, cut the gun at the strip club. Yeah, make it rain. Yeah, exactly. If I can make the heavens if I can make it rain cut the gun

Yeah, exactly if I can make your heartbeat I feel like this is gonna get real pro-life then I can ease your pain Why are those things causation right yes One have to do with the other hey bud you feeling the pain of nihilism? You want some rain? A little sky? Some heartbeat? What the hell? Heartbeat? If I'm the only answer, the only one that's right... Then surely there would be more evidence than a collection of stories from the fucking Bronze

Age. Right? Yeah, yeah. Tell me why are you still searching? Why do you still fight? It's nice. This song could double as things for Buffalo Bill to shout down the well in his face. Not enough pop songs do that. And then we get one final chorus. I won't make you sit through it again. It's the same damn shit. Okay. One other fun fact about Zoe Girl. When I looked them up, please.

Thank you. They broke up, like I said, I think it was 2006. They got back together in 2011. Oh, okay. Relax for one single interview. They're working on a lullaby album. I didn't know that was a thing. Oh and seriously that interview is the last thing they ever did. They got in the studio and Ashley was like lull and they were like nope I

remembered I remembered why I can't do this. Oh god. She's like it's Alyssa and they're like fuck you. Doesn't matter. We replaced you with Kelly. Amanda, get out of here. She died in a car crash. All right. Well, the good news is that as bad as this song was, it wasn't beyond repair. So Anna, what drew you to this song? Well, I just love how this version of God

is like the Spice Girls minus the personality and agency. Like what if God talked like Regina George from Mean Girls? like the Spice Girls minus the personality and agency. Like what if God talked like Regina George from Mean Girls? I don't know. What if God was a girl group? Oh, there you go. Yeah. All right. Well, Anna's fixed it for us. So Anna. You got a lot of problems You can't fix yourself Asking me for help

Yeah, but I don't really work that way Don't tell me what to do Preferring to do things well in L.A. I could cure stress, burn your ex's house Make it rain, teach Spanish to a mouse Put a gold mine underneath your house Anything is possible Anything, but not your things

Or that other thing Cause I don't wanna do those things Or their thing Or her thing Or that whole thing I only wanna do my thing I could fix the world's problems Like picking petals from a jade

I'd tell her to cure for cancer But I'm feeling lazy Don't say I'm mean or I'll be furious Tell me what to do The way I do things is mysterious I could fuck Mars, I can summon beasts Turn drunk, gay, give you seven knees Make K-wide jelly, grow our trees Anything is possible

If you want I'll take a turtle Teach him how to speak Disguise him as a human Train him for weeks and weeks Put the turtle through lost school Make him Senate Minority Leader Then give him diarrhea On national TV Wait, I already did that. His name's Mitch McConnell. You're welcome. I can make whales or cusper my blue

Make them drive unit Timbuktu But only if I wanted to Anything is possible Anything but not your thing Or his thing Yeah, anything is possible But not that thing And that thing's dumb

Stop trying to make fetch happen, it's not gonna happen I can make beans, beans that turn you blue Make your car horn sound like a kazoo Take you all, sing with a kangaroo Only possible if I want beans Beans that make you blue The cure for AIDS, cancer, or the flu. I'll never tell.

Cause anything is possible, but I only do what I want to do. Anna, huge thanks to Anna for bringing the house down once again. Always great to have her on the show. Her, Eli, and Heath have already left though, leaving me to say that before we put the tart back over this episode, I want to remind you that May is running out. That means matron is running out. If you've been waiting the last minute to add or increase your pledge at patreon.com slash scathing atheist. Hey, this is it. You made it to the last minute. Congratulations. Anyway, that's all the blessing we've got for you tonight. We'll be back in 10,022 minutes with more. If you can't wait that long, be on the lookout for a brand new episode of

our sister show of the skeptic. I'm doing a seven Eastern on Monday and even new episode new episode of our sister show of The Skeptocrat, debuting at 7 Eastern on Monday and even new episode of our sisters, our hot friend God awful movies debuting at 7 Eastern on Tuesday and an even new episode of our half sisters on Citation Needed debuting

at noon Eastern on Wednesday. Obviously, this show wouldn't count if I'd like to thank Keith Enright in advance for being my codename's partner during Pajama Party Week. I want to thank Eli Bosnik in advance for having apparently

bought me a ridiculous amount of weed before I came again this year. I want to thank the lovely and talented Lucinda Lujans for always having plenty of rage to fill a segment. I want to thank Anna Bozing for lending us her incredible skills once again this week. I want to thank Quinn for providing this week's Farnsworth quote. If you need more trans stuff in your life, and who doesn't, be sure to check out the

Trans Sister Radio podcast using the link on the show notes. That's Trans Sister Radio. Very clever. But most of all, of course, I want to thank this week's most mellifluous matrions No, Stephen Logan Irish wristwatch the ghost of Bob Ross T bone SF Mikado JDSI you Katrina Sam In you and condition gamer Bob Blake dust and suicide season Caspian Suzanne Susan M Chandra David Bry Karen Austin carry Melissa Jacqueline Aaron Chris Rocktoberfest Jane The Atheist Kitchen, Facebook Group, Wham Burger, John Dark Skies, Laura, Rebecca Qualified, Ace, Wustheit, Henry, Justin, Kevin, Garrett, Chelsea, Lion Bird, and... Sorry, I can't get it all out in one breath, but the next one, but the last one, the 48th

of 48 is Montana's Got Liberal Atheists 2 and we have cookies shaped like Montana, so there's no way I was getting that out in one breath. But all of those people who have so much gravitas, the ISS can tell when it's orbiting over top of them together these 48 people Punctuations declarations Facebook groups etc help close matron with a bang this week by giving us money Not everybody has the money to do that But if you do this would be an awesome time to do it you can make a per episode donation to patreon.com So skating a thes whereby you'll earn early access to an extended ad free version of every episode or you can make a one-time Donation by clicking on the donate button on the right side of the homepage at scathingadius.com.

And if you'd like to help but money and you aren't on speaking terms, you can also help a ton by leaving a five-star review, telling a friend about the show, and following us on social media. And speaking of social media, Tim Robertson handles that for us, our audio engineer is Morgan Clark, who also wrote all the music that was used in this episode, which was used with permission. If you have questions, comments, or death threats, you'll find all the contact info on the contact page at ScathingAdias.com. Water dashing isn't real. The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle and a Thunderstorm LLC, copyright 2024, all rights reserved.