The Scathing Atheist - 622: GAW Edition

Episode Date: January 30, 2025

In this week’s episode, the church begs for mercy too liberally, God maintains the streak of perfect inattendance, and we’ll see what the other side of the aisle has to offer us. --- To make a per episode donation at Patreon.com, click here: http://www.patreon.com/ScathingAtheist To buy our book, click here: https://www.amazon.com/Outbreak-Crisis-Religion-Ruined-Pandemic/dp/B08L2HSVS8/ If you see a news story you think we might be interested in, you can send it here: [e-mail] To check out our sister show, The Skepticrat, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/the-skepticrat To check out our sister show’s hot friend, God Awful Movies, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/god-awful-movies To check out our half-sister show, Citation Needed, click here: http://citationpod.com/ To check out our sister show’s sister show, D and D minus, click here: https://danddminus.libsyn.com/ --- Headlines: Bishop Mariann Edgar Budde rebukes Trump at "Service of Prayer for the Nation" in DC: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ESheItSWy4 Christians get their responses wrong from every angle: https://www.christianpost.com/news/5-christians-react-to-bishops-sermon-rebuking-trump.html Jewish groups complain about lack of accreditation for religious schools: https://www.jns.org/four-brooklyn-yeshivahs-file-federal-complaint-against-ny-education-department/ The Christian Post is very suspicious of Grok AI having a logo that looks like a broken cross: https://www.christianpost.com/news/we-asked-grok-whether-its-new-logo-is-a-broken-cross.html SCOTUS to hear case of taxpayer-funded religious school in Oklahoma: https://www.friendlyatheist.com/p/the-supreme-court-will-decide-if

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Hi, my name is Winter. I have a PhD in psychology. I just moved to Michigan from Texas because I'm trans and it's Texas and Trump won and I know ten other families that have done the same. I can say that some of us have evolved from filthy monkey men but not all of us. This week's episode of the scathing atheist is brought to you by Factor, Adam and Eve and by weed. Lots of weed. Even more than usual these days, actually. And now... The Scathing Atheist. It's Thursday. It's January 30th.

And it's National Inane Answering Machine Day. Do kids these days even know that we have those? Probably not. I'm no illusions. I'm Eli Bosnik. I'm no illusions. I'm Eli Bosnik. I'm Ethan Wright. And from Jared Kushner's, New Jersey, Ann Arbor, Michigan, and Waycross, Georgia,

this is the Skating Atheist. On this week's episode of The Sound of the Beep, tell us your favorite fruit. God maintains the streak of perfect in attendance. And we'll see what the other side of the aisle has to offer us. But first, the diatron. How do you talk with kids about death? Even worse, how do you talk to other people's kids about death?

Other wrong people who are telling their kids religious bullshit and will get mad at you if you don't go along with that bullshit? That's the question I'm wrestling with this week. Last weekend, my niece's mother-in-law passed away. I don't really know her, but the family is devastated, of course, especially my niece's kids. That granny was the one that watched them after school until mom got off of work.

So it's the kind of tragedy that's gonna be omnipresent for them. They will notice her missing every single day. Of course, the family is Christian, and so the kids are hearing stories of a heaven that they'll get to visit her in one day. And if they ask me, I'm expected to toe the line, to tell them the same comforting lies, or at least not to undermine those lies.

And that's complicated a little bit in my case because the kids know I'm an atheist. Well, one of them does, at least. The other is too young to really understand that. But when your job is atheist, your nings can't get all that old before somebody has to tell them what that word means. So she's 11 years old, she's smart as a whip, and I'm her knowing shit uncle, right? I'm the one she comes to if she has questions about science or philosophy or history or anything like that.

And she knows that I don't believe in any gods. So I've been sort of wrestling with the very real possibility that she's gonna come to me and ask me what I believe happens when we die. Where do I think her grandma is? And then I'm gonna have to give an answer that A, comforts her, B, doesn't piss off her Christian parents, and C, isn't an outright lie.

And that's a tall order, so I've been giving it some thought. Here's what I came up with so far, and let me say up front that this is not entirely honest, right? For the sake of the parents, I play up doubts and ignorance a lot more than I think is philosophically sound, but keep in mind that for the purposes of this hypothetical, I'm talking to an 11-year-old. So she says to me something along the lines of, what do you think happens when you die? That's the prompt. And I say, I don't know. None of us know. But there are a lot of things that I do know. Like I know, for example, that we don't know. So if there's a God and there's a heaven, God doesn't want us to know about it for sure.

If he did, he'd show it to us like he does with bats and penguins and icicles and stuff. So he wants us to have at least some doubt. He wants us to live in a world where we believe that death at least might be final. And you have to ask yourself, why would a God do that? But I have a theory. See, if we knew for sure that all the people that we lost were in heaven, we wouldn't think about them very much. We would tell ourselves, well, you know,

I'll see her in 60 or 70 years and I'll think about her again then, but between now and then I won't Because it'll make me sad But if we don't know for sure we have to make room for them now See who I am doesn't just live inside of me the part of me that you know lives inside of you Some tiny little chunk of your brain is dedicated to me and every time you think about me or remember something that I taught you or anything like that, it gets a little bit

bigger and it gets a little bit stronger. That's how brains work. And when you think about all the people that I've met in my life and you add up all the chunks, all their brains where I live, I bet that would weigh more than my own brain. Even before you subtract out all the parts of my brain that are dedicated to you and your Aunt Lucinda and your mom and your dad and all the other people that I've met, all of that is me, collectively. Everybody's memories and perceptions of me are just as much me as I ever was. So when I die, most of me stays here on earth, tucked away in all the brains of all the people who ever loved me.

And maybe that's why a God would hide heaven. Maybe he would just want to make sure that we make plenty of room in our brains for the people we've lost just in case that's the only place they have left. They're talking about you, Jesus. We interrupt this broadcast and bring you a special news, Wilmington. Joining me for headlines tonight are the Han and Chewie of this podcast. He then writing Eli Bosnik. Fellas, you got a few parsecs to spare for the headlines. I try not to shoot first, but sometimes it just happens.

And then that noise happens. All right. Well, Eli needs some money back from NYU. So while he writes them an email, we're going to pause for a word for this week's first sponsor. Dude, you're cheating. Corner traps are not cheating. They're strategy, obviously. Okay, you guys ready to go? Oh man, five already? Yeah, let's go. I didn't get a chance to eat! Yeah, well it's already five. We gotta go.

Fine, fine. Eli, what are you doing? What does it look like I'm doing? I'm eating the sleeves off this shirt. I'm hungry and you said we didn't have time. Look, Eli, if you're short on time, but you want to eat great, why don't you try Factor? What? Factor?

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Factor sent us a box to try when they became a sponsor. I love how I can eat heart healthy meals in a fraction of the time it would take me to order greasy takeout. That's why I, no illusions, personally endorse Factor. Alright guys, I'm sold. Where do I sign up? Eat smart with Factor. Get started at factormeals.com slash scathing50off and use the code scathing50off to get 50% off your first box plus free shipping.

That's code scathing 50 off at factor meals dot com slash scathing 50 off to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box. Thanks. Hey, wait a minute. Is this why I've seen you in so many vests lately? Yeah. It's like a lot of vests. I know, I know.

And now back to the headlines. In our lead story tonight, in preaching across the Hile news, Nice. The right Reverend Mary Ann Edgar Budd, in her capacity as the Bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of Washington, gave a sermon the day after the inauguration

at a very stupid event that we apparently have called the Service of Prayer for the Nation. Donald Trump was in attendance and Reverend Budd told him to stop being evil towards trans people and immigrants because that's not what Jesus would do. That's right, a Christian person got morality right. Wrongly though, but she landed unethical, so I'll give a little bit of credit. The rest of the Christian community, however,

not so much with the credit. At best, they landed in the same place as the Reverend because of a magic book. At worst, they had a giant meltdown of cognitive dissonance and denounced the sermon for its flagrant use of the Bible to criticize the behavior of Bible-believing people in power. And a big thanks to Jason for sending the link to scathingnews at gmail.com. If Jason ever meets Eli in person, Jason has the option of handing Eli one physical object, no larger than a very large bread box.

That's how we measure the size of things. And Eli has to carry it around for the rest of the day. Can I put it up my butt? TBD. We'll see how limber you are. Can you put it up your butt? In other words, Jason, don't bring a ferret if you're overly fond of it. Yeah.

Solid point. So sorry again. The ferret can't hear you, Eli. That's the whole point. I assume the owner might. Well, she says he was never going to listen again. But a lot of people say stuff when you kill their pets. So I'd like to think she's moved. What's happening right now? OK.

There's a lot less anger now. So here's what happened at the stupid prayer thing. Quick piece of context. In order to get Trump to provide FEMA relief to certain disaster areas in California during his first term, Trump's advisors had to show him election stats to prove that he'd be helping Republicans too.

So with that in mind, Reverend Budd directly addressed Donald Trump and said, quote, in the name of our God, I ask you to have mercy upon the people in our country who are scared now. They are gay, lesbian and transgender children in Democratic, Republican and independent families, some who fear for their lives. Hey, but love the thought here. But if you have to tell someone

that their side is also afraid that you'll fascistically murder them in order to elicit some empathy, maybe you should not invite them to your special God party. There you go. Good note. So, here's what we got in terms of responses to the sermon.

Like I said, a handful of liberal Christian leaders gave support, but that support was based on the idea that good behavior needs to be Christ-like, which is obnoxious. But those people didn't write literally Project 2025, and they're not part of Trump's inner circle. People like Tony Perkins, on the other hand, are in that circle. For those who aren't familiar, Perkins is the president of the Family Research Council. That's a Christian hate group and theocracy activism squad that was intimately involved with Donald Trump while he attempted to overturn the 2020 election. And according to Tony Perkins, what we heard today from Reverend Budd was not a prophetic voice from the church, but rather pathetic.

I think he was excited about the rhyme between the word play. Prophetic and pathetic there. We worked on that for hours, me and Tony. And then a few days later, Perkins was still in a big snit and he added, the church must be reminded that it is not the master or the servant of the state,

but rather the conscience of the state we cannot speak prophetically to those whom we're seeking approval We do not need the approval of government. We are called as a prophetic voice of God Okay, but Tony wouldn't that make it more important that you give politicians advice or are you going for more of a Cassandra? Form of prophecy there, but I don't know what's the point here. To the extent that those words mean anything, which is a very minor extent, admittedly, they support, but like even if you disagree with the point she was making, they still do.

Yeah. We also got a prominent Christian leader who focused more on the science. So that was cool, but no, it wasn't. Oh, good. No, good. According to William Wolf, executive director at the Center for Baptist Leadership, and he's a former Trump administration staff member, it's about an important branch of biology

called Gnostic biology. Oh. Quote, mass immigration and transgenderism are fundamentally Gnostic heresies. Take me there. They both deny the reality and the goodness of the physical world. What? Nations on one hand,

and our God given bodies on the other. Man, nothing gives away your argument faster than your reliance of an internet meme's misunderstanding of the definition of a word But the completion of transness and immigration status is like Horrifically intriguing though, right? like you have to wonder if he's foreshadowing banning Mexicans from using public restrooms or attempting to deport trans chicks to fucking But Transylvania or wherever he thinks they're just say it could go either way at this point.

Feels like a both. Yeah. Feels like a both for these fucking people. Yeah. Admittedly, it's a hard connections grouping trans people and immigrants. All right. Well, that brings us to the church of the Daily Wire. Oh, I know that one.

And Shapiro's news and media group. It might sound like I was joking using the word church, but the Daily Wire's entire mission is religious conservative anti-woke ism and that's one of the most pervasive versions of religion in the country right now So naturally they hated hearing a reverend Dismantle their hypocrisy that led to Daily Wire reporter Megan Basham making a statement She's also the author of Shepherds for Sale, which tells the gripping story of America's religious institutions getting secretly co-opted by Barack Obama and the founder of eBay, really, and of course, George Soros. So that lady who wrote that book said the following,

So that lady who wrote that book said the following The left-wing Infiltration into churches has for decades been organized and well funded by secular foundations Intent on hollowing out their spiritual doctrines and replacing them with political programs. This is the fruit God, can you imagine how awful it would be for one political party to completely take over the church to accomplish its theocratic goals I mean to perish the thought terrifying also there Megan Basham author of shepherds Again, I went too far again. Yeah All right. Well lots of bad news in there kind of the standard these days But at least we got a bit of a silver lining. Turns out our long con is working.

Our team of secular moles was able to infiltrate America's churches over the decades and make them all beta cucks. Or that's insane, but they're worried about it. Either way, I guess I'll take it. Fair. Fair. And in rabbi-ous news, as the podcast token person born Jewish, I answer a lot of the important questions here at Puzzle and the Thunderstorm.

Is it too hot in here? Is it too early for a little dinner? And is it anti-Semitic to require Jewish schools teach literally fucking anything to call themselves a school? Well, this week, I'm proud to announce that the answers are definite. Yes, no, and of course, not so we're gonna talk about it Okay with all the neo-nazis calling Elon Musk's behavior, you know wacky Hile jinx or whatever I want to be sensitive to claims of anti-semitism right now, and I'm done. This one is not that

The Hile is okay heat the anti-defamation league they put out a statement that said first they have to come for the Socialists and Trade Union We've got plenty of time. Oh my god So well, I mean look at the ADL they're famous for being really they really hold the line They don't just call anything anti-semitism at the ADL. They're really trying to get like a no-bid military contract or something They've already got one. Right. Right. So first off, big thanks to Stormy for sending us this link and the pun to scathingnews.gmail.com.

Stormy, we would never treat you the way we treated Carl last week. As many of you know by now, Carl took his own life in response to our terrible, cruel words. And we couldn't be more filled with sorrow to him or his beautiful two daughters. We've learned, we've grown. We wish we hadn't cost a life to do it. Scathing news at Gmail. I'm sorry, Carl, who is very much alive and may or may not have children.

Two daughters, one of whom is bedridden with AIDS. Stupid piece of shit with your bad puns. He had medium puns. They weren't bad. They were medium. Yeah, so this story comes to us from the Jewish News Syndicate, which, hey, side note, JNS, come join me over here in the whisper corner. Jew to Jew. I think maybe we don't call our stuff a syndicate. Just never. Good idea. I know, it's the correct use of the word.

I just think it's not in our best interests, you know? It's got to like manifesto. That's just a declaration of ideas, but now you're yelling as you're being dragged out of a Yankee candle store when people read your thing and you call it a manifesto. Right, exactly, exactly. Just like a nice suggestive pamphlet.

There you go, friendly pamphlet. Yeah, isn't it? So yeah, if you're not aware, have these things called yeshiva's which are basically private religious schools And while some of them deliver what would be considered a relatively normal education way more of them exclusively teach religious stuff to kids as young as elementary school and By religious stuff. I mean that some of these schools, they don't teach regular books, they don't teach classes in English,

and they don't teach girls at all. So it's way more extreme than even your average American religious education. Yeah, and we're all well aware of what a huge statement that actually is. Yeah, by the way, I was about to ask if they don't like teach girls the human beings, like those people don't get an equal education or they don't teach the concept of female

people and you know, like how that works in reality. But then I realized the answer is yes. Mm hmm. A lot of these schools. And look, I want to remind you, you're allowed to have a fake school that only teaches God stuff. I mean, you shouldn't be, but you are, right? What you can do is have a state certification and accreditation if you do that stuff, because

you're not teaching real things. That's why we have the certifications and the accreditation. And because of these rules, three yeshivas are now suing New York State for not calling their schools real schools just because they're not real. You know when a little kid has an imaginary friend and you like fuck up the sketch for a second by like bumping into the ghost friend and the real kid starts crying and you know how the kid is not allowed to then sue you for the bumping tort in court? Yeah.

Yeah. The state of New York rests. Yeah. This is my real job today with grownups. So according to the complaint, quote, New York categorically refuses to credit any instruction that is part of their Jewish studies curriculum, despite its academic value and content. It prohibits the yeshivas from teaching required classes with instruction and texts in a foreign language, even though such texts and instruction are central to their heritage and public schools

are encouraged to provide foreign language instruction. And they refuse to let us be a pony. But that's not all. The state also imposes a quote, government approved reading list on the schools for the express purpose of exposing their students to a range of materials that their parents and schools wouldn't otherwise permit them to read. Education is what they just said. And it quote, interferes in the process by

which the yeshivas hired their faculty and it refuses to accommodate their values as it relates to the gender profile of their classrooms. End quote. It interferes with nothing. They can keep doing all their stupid bigot stuff. Just they don't get a sticker from New York State at the end. They could even make their own sticker if they want. Yeah. No, and to be clear, that last one was a somehow indignant way of saying, they limit our misogyny. Right? And as Heath points out, they don't, right? But even if they were right, that's what they'd be right about.

Yeah. They conclude, quote, if they, meaning the students, can't devote sufficient time to Jewish studies with instruction in their original language that utilizes primary text taught by a faculty hand-picked by them to model behavior in conformity with their values and heritage while maintaining the autonomy and authority to select which material students read in the classroom whose composition reflects their principles. Use some punctuation and end your sentence, guys. Then they are no longer Jewish schools, end quote.

Yes, I guess. Good. Yeah, yeah. And again, as the cast do, let me translate. If we're not allowed to teach nothing in a dead language to only the boys by only the boys, it's not Judaism. And I speak for the rest of Judaism and sanity when I say, absolutely fucking not. And on that note, we're going to take a quick break for a word from this week's other sponsor, Adam and Eve. Hey, podcast listener, I'm no illusions.

I'm Eli Bosnick. And I'm Heath Enright. With Valentine's Day just around the corner, it's our job, nay, our solemn duty, to remind you each year that what your partner wants the most this Valentine's Day is fuck stuff. That's right, fuck stuff. While other podcasts might have to cutesy-bootsy

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Oh, yeah. Then fuck stuff. Okay. Fuck stuff. And finally tonight in Isadore opening Isadore closing news. Phenomenal. Thank you. I'm so proud of that.

I look I messaged my friends about that one. I've got a I've got a bit of depressing. I didn't see mine. Mine must have gotten lost. Yeah, I do. I was saving. I wanted you to hear it on the record. That's cool.

You cut all the crap? I have a bit of a depressing update to offer you. You're going to remember how last week when we were talking to Jeffrey Blackwell, legal director of American Atheists, he talked about how they had to be careful not to challenge some theocratic laws for fear that the Supreme Court would create a terrifying precedent that would further erode our religious freedoms. And you'll also remember how on episodes 523, 524, 593, and 601, we talked about the state of Oklahoma trying to publicly fund the St. Isidore Catholic School by calling it a charter school.

So yeah, so last week, the Supreme Court agreed to hear the appeal on that one. Yeah, not so much a branch of government anymore. More like HR for Christ themed grievances. That's about all they do. Yeah. Okay. Does anyone, any of those history nerds out there know how we ended theocracy the last time it was in charge?

I remember, I think I remember it was in France, but the details. There's a bunch of them. There's a bunch of those. Details are foggy. So, if you remember this story. I got a sharpening France, but the details. It's a bunch of them. It's a bunch of those. Details are foggy. So if you remember this story. I got a sharpening stone recently. For anything. It will probably be Oklahoma attorney general

and man whose name would be out of place anywhere but for closing on the family farm in a Dust Bowl era docu drama, Gentner Drummond. Gentner Drummond. He's the unlikely secular hero who stood up to this ridiculous effort by reminding Christians that they were creating a precedent that could be used to force them to pay for Muslim schools and Ultimately the Oklahoma Supreme Court backed him up on it in a seven to one decision that read in part

Fucking duh. Yeah, and I feel like the one vote against was probably some old white guy. I didn't really get it He was like, okay, but we'll just ban the Muslim people here in Oakville. Don't we already do that? And if not, it goes to Christ HR, we're all good. And then the other old white guys were like, dude, you're doing the scam, whatever, fine, seven to one is fine, it doesn't matter.

I already stamped it, I already stamped it. I'm not gonna cross it out, it looks weird. So there is no element, of course, of religious jurisprudence so settled that the Holy Roman epistolic Iteration of the Supreme Court wouldn't like to revisit it So they're taking up this case which they'd have no reason to do if they didn't want to overturn the motherfucker and to be clear What we're talking about This is a school that because of religious exemptions to non-discrimination rules would be allowed to fire teachers for being pregnant

Or gay or living in sin. They'd be able to deny students based on their gender identity or sexual orientation. They would not require teachers to be certified in any fucking way and they would not have to abide by and they would not abide by state sponsored curriculum. It's a thing that shouldn't even be allowed to exist and their goal is to force Oklahomans to pay for it. Yeah, all to the detriment of their public school system. Yes.

I mean, it's ranked 44th out of 50, so they got a cushion, but like, I don't think it's a good idea either way. Yeah, but I bet they're fucking Oklahoma students couldn't tell you how much of a cushion based on that information you gave them. Yeah, no, that's fair. That's fair. Right. The thing to remember about this case is that they're not fighting for their thing that should be illegal to be legal. They're fighting for their already legal thing that should be illegal to be paid for by you.

Yes. You should pay for it. Yep. Now, ultimately, there are actually two levels of bad here in terms of the outcome. The less bad is that the SCOTUS sides with the school and says that it isn't unconstitutional for the state to fund it. That's a lie and it's a disaster. That was the good news version?

Yes, that's the good news version. That's the good optimistic, sunny, no illusions. Well, right, but well, no, because the prediction is the bad one, which is that the SCOTUS decides that denying the school the money is unconstitutional and that the state must fund it, which based on what we saw in Maine seems like the more likely outcome. So it's entirely possible that the end result of this case is that all religious schools are suddenly publicly funded, at which point all non-discrimination laws and laws about educational standards

are moot. They're optional. Cool. Yeah. Essentially, Christ HR would declare the establishment clause of the First Amendment to be canceled because it's a macro aggression against our Lord and Savior. That's what's happening. Yeah.

No, that's really the world we're living in. Now, of course, there is still a narrow path to victory that is maintenance of the status quo. No, Eli, no, we'll beat that out. Amy Coney Barrett has apparently recused herself from this case. She hasn't officially stated why, but she has a relationship with somebody

who's been representing the school, so it's probably that. Regardless, that's a sure vote for theocracy they won't have. That being said, you could probably get Noah has to love Jesus through this court with a two-vote majority, so I'm certainly not holding out a lot of hope. No. And with apologies that we've apparently exited the era of light, wacky story is

to close the headlines. We're gonna wrap it up there. Heath, Eli, thanks as always. You're my G. And when we come back, Heath will tell us about some of those other tabs he has open. Being an atheist means believing that zero is the number of gods. And being a good atheist means you're not done yet. You've got to believe in good things and then, like, do good things. And speaking of doing that wrong, we're going to talk about the Republican Atheists. A few episodes back I mentioned their angry email that yelled, there are dozens of us.

Well, it looks like I was giving them way too much credit with that joke. There seemed to be maybe dozen singular, but theoretically they represent a group of people and those people are allowed to vote That's the bad news the good news They have a website and it's so very sad and stupid so sad so sad today We're gonna fire up a segment called gah or God awful websites Gaw or God awful websites. So Noah has subject permanence, like many people do. So he's aware that he's been here on the show the whole time.

We also have Eli. What new treats and japes will I bring? Only by summoning will you learn. Poof. My thing actually is that I feel the need to introduce you. So he's still here, everybody. Thank you. OK, well, now I need Noah to do me, too introduce you. So Heath's still here, everybody. Thank you. OK, well, now I need Noah to do me too. You're here. Eli's here too.

Yeah. All right. Now Heath, you do me. While I'm still wet. All right. And gushy. I'm going to start with my experience. Like Carl. Of finding their site, by which I mean not finding their site. By which I mean not finding their site very easily.

I googled Republican atheists, the name of their group, and I did not get their site anywhere near the top. Instead, the top results were mostly surveys about the absurdity of those two words, atheist and Republican, going together. Might have something to do with the Republican party having a platform written by literal Christian dominionist lunatics hoping to appease the God of the Bible and therefore prevent weather-based smiting, especially. Or encourage it, depending on geography.

Right. And of course, those people want to oppress anyone who doesn't go along with God's law all that being said these Atheists Republican people do exist somehow according to the numbers I found approximately one in 20 Republicans describe themselves as atheist or agnostic for Democrats It's about one in five. Yeah, and that's just the ones who admit they want to kill God, right? Okay, so we'll get to the tragic site of the Republican atheists in a minute. Geo-sabot. It's so sad.

But first, we're going to talk about Pew Research, which has much better SEO based on the title of the Republican atheists group. Pew Research has earned it. In terms of demographic breakdown, Republican atheists have Gen X as their biggest cohort, and the overall group is about 70% male and 84% white. It is similar for atheist Democrats, but we're a bit younger, less male, less white, we make more money, and we have more education. So big picture, the prototype for the average Republican atheist is in fact a mildly educated middle-aged white guy who's mad about something stupid and whose

family doesn't care for him. And I posted an example, which happens to be the headshot for one of the board members. Yeah, he looks like if you asked AI to generate guy who ruins a school board meeting. Right? Yeah, I don't know the context of this photo, but my guess is that this man just got done telling you how racist his supervisor is against white people. He sure has. So I scrolled down past the demographic surveys and the questions on Reddit and Quora that sounded like nature

enthusiasts on Nat Geo wondering about this curious species called Atheistus Republicanus and what that might look like. And one article from USA Today entitled, Can you be an atheist and a conservative? I'm a proof you can. So a little bit of evidence. Spoiler for the rest of this segment. The secret is racism. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you know how they say a libertarian is a conservative with a bong. Right. A Republican atheist is a libertarian who doesn't smoke weed. Right. So after all that stuff, at result number eight, if you don't count Reddit and Quora threads, I found RepublicanAtheists.com. The landing page starts with their about section,

and it says, Republican Atheists was founded in 2017. This group is for those who identify as atheist, agnostic, secular, and related, and are registered Republicans or take interest in the Republican Party. Republican end of section. It just says Republicans. I get it.

You wanted a list of three. Noah and Heath aren't around to check your spelling. It can be tough. All right. But we take an interest in the Republican Party. We write headlines about them all the time I feel like we have chapter presidencies in our future guys. We sure do you're damn fucking right? We do know their landing page also has a collection of links to organizations

They believe are allied with the idea of atheist conservatism that includes includes the Victims of Communism Memorial Fund, Gunsafety.org, and Turning Point USA, or TP USA. That's the conservative propaganda squad founded by Charlie Kirk that advocates for more freedom, which is very often synonymous with Christian religious freedom to do bigotry, you know, atheist stuff. They also have a link to friendly atheist.com, which is run by friend of the show, Hemet Metta.

Hemet is not a Republican. Oh, very much reached out to have it. And here's what he had to say about the Republican atheists. Quote, it's a group that pretends to say about the Republican atheists. Quote, It's a group that pretends to represent a quiet but growing demographic, but does absolutely nothing to highlight why atheists should be Republicans. Nor do they challenge all the Christian nationalism in the GOP. I'm not just mad because they're Republican. I'm mad because the group is completely incompetent at doing its one job.

Yeah, right. No, unless they get lost in the discussion It would actually be really useful to have an effective group of Republican atheists trying to tamp down the theocracy and Republican circles Instead we have a group of idiots trying to tamp down the liberalism and atheist circles Yeah, pretty stupid. But if anyone out there is listening and you're interested in sponsorship. Oh, I am. The Republican atheists do have advertising opportunities available. Buy a page in the program. Based on the advertising section of their homepage, it appears they're already working with a company.

I think it's called Advertise Here, but I imagine they'd be open to new clients. When I went to their site, my ad blocker thanked me for the night off and called his girlfriend. Alright, let's meet the leadership team. First up, we have founder and president, Lauren L. According to her bio, L has identified as atheist for over a decade and registered as a Republican in 2015. She was born and raised in Southern California and currently lives in Sweden most of the year.

So next up on the leadership team, we have Sean Paulson. Seanie Paul? Yeah, he's listed as a board member and correspondent, but you can't read about that until you scroll through an entire page of his ridiculous oversized headshot that he didn't know how to resize for the website. It's even worse on mobile. The opening line of the intro is reduced to a four character wide column along the right side of the page.

I included a picture. Oh my God. It's only three letters if it's there, if there's a capital in there. And Sean, by the way, is the prototype of the middle-aged white guy whose family doesn't like him from earlier. And here's the bio for Sean. Hello. Hi Sean. And by the way, and yes, on mobile, hell and O exclamation mark are on separate lines. It's a mess.

We can't write this. It continues after greeting us all. I'm Sean Paulson, a Republican Atheist's correspondent from Maryland. After committing to atheism five years ago, I began my learning on philosophy, theology, and its application in morality and politics. I don't believe you. Well, yeah, you're gonna believe me even less. My findings have led me to align with the Republican Party.

Okay, you know that really annoying thing Christians say when they're like, atheists are just as religious as Christians, right? But you are atheism, and I'm Christian. But when you say you committed your life to atheism, you are kind of making their point. Right. And rounding out the leadership team,

we have a board member named Vacant, another board member named Vacant, the director of election affairs, that's a person named Vacant. Ooh, that could be me! The regional manager for the Northeast, same person named Vacant. Ooh, that could be me! The regional manager for the Northeast. Same person, Vacant. I'll take them both.

The regional manager for the Midwest, Vacant. The regional manager for the South, Sean Polson. Oh, damn! Oh, God, I'm so sorry. You can do the election one. Well, okay. And the regional manager for the West, Vacant. Oh, I need to move, okay.

In addition to the response from Emmett that you already heard, he also added, the leadership team, and he put leadership in quotes, has more vacancies than members who want me to make sure I knew that, and the math does check out. Yeah. So you're saying I have a chance, because I don't identify as a member of the Republican Party

or interested in it, but I might be convinced to be Republican ellipses. Why would they add those positions on their website? There's no, there's no rule that says your website has to list all the positions that you wish you had people for. Guys, can we add, when we make a website, can we make director of election affairs, manager for the North? Okay, but don't worry.

They have some more people in the group, including a number of correspondents. The correspondent for Illinois, New York, North Carolina, and Rhode Island is a very busy person named Vacant. No other info about that person, but let's meet the rest of my favorite correspondents based on their bios. I'll start with South Carolina correspondent Jake Goss. According to Jake, I live in Myrtle Beach and work in the construction industry. I'm a father of two children still in school. As far as culture is concerned, I would say I represent the rock and roll

extreme sports crowd. Oh, what? Exact words. I've been a member of or have followed most conservative and atheist pages on Facebook. Rock and roll and sweeps. As far as personality is concerned, I have a monster energy baseball cap. So, okay. It's very obvious from these bios that Lauren just messaged everybody in the Facebook chat,

asking them to introduce themselves. And then she just fucking pasted those answers onto the WordPress website. Didn't she? Sure did. Yep. Next up, Arizona correspondent Scott Root. I've been a registered Republican since 1973. That's over 40 years. Yes, it is.

Cut to Sean Paulson double checking on his fingers. I'm affiliated with a local Republican club and I've attended numerous conservative events. I've been self-employed since 1983. That's also over 40. It is. All right. Now we've got Florida correspondent Charles Hunter. I've always been a registered Republican and a conservative in my personal views.

I am born and raised in North Florida and I'm an avid outdoors man. Do you mean homeless, Troy? You have to tell us if you mean homeless. Are you a Jags fan, man? You have to tell us if you are. He continues very importantly, second amendment is very important to me and my family as are all the other amendments. I've been accused my entire life. No, his family is very adamant about not quartering soldiers.

They get really obsessed. I want Charles to rank the importance of the amendments to him. I'm willing to pay cold hard cash, Charles. He sounds excited about the 28th one with the ERA. Cool. Moving on to Kansas correspondent, Randy Hem. I'm a veteran of the Air Force. By the way, I deleted it.

Every single one of these starts with an angry pronouncement that they're a veteran of one of the armed forces. Hell yeah they are. Every single one. Fuck yeah. I'm a veteran of the Air Force. I've been a Republican most of my life, except one time in a moment of weakness when I voted for Jimmy Carter and regretted it ever since.

I'm an advocate of the Second Amendment and I hold a concealed carry card. Oh dear atheist Republican Lord, forgive me for falling for Jimmy's sweet sweet sugary Southern tongue. Let me destroy Republican Lord, but never again. Okay, so also I'm sorry, but when you brag about having a concealed Gary card, you negate it. Yep. Right. These nincompoops cannot help but tell you I'm hiding a gun on my person.

Now, just in case I ever attempted to vote for sweet Jimmy again, I'll put this gun in my mouth and pull the trigger. Got holstered rifles and a concealed, you don't know. I could have a third one. Got holstered rifles and a concealed. You don't know I could have a third one Next up we have Utah correspondent Ramon Homan My origins began thoroughly inculcated in the Christian Church

Luckily, I left that bubble and joined the Marine Corps and subsequently the San Diego County Sheriff's Department How long have I been an atheist? I guess that we might ask. I asked myself in my bio. Although I did my best to believe what was taught to me by loved ones, I would align with Pascal's wager in that I'm so made that I cannot believe no matter how much I wanted to believe I could not I guess I'd have to quote my close personal friends Reins Descartes when I say Next we have California correspondent Roy Latham I've been interested in reasoning and debate for 50 years and active on the internet

Capitalized since the mid 90s takes it real serious that you're supposed to capitalize the I there. I have over 200 debates in parentheses, about 200 wins, 15 loses. Sick on debate.org if you would like to see some. Nope. Debate.org is shut down. Continuing. I like science topics like climate change. My wife is an immigrant from Taiwan. She has a PhD in mathematics. She's who I lost the debate All right, I'm sorry citing your win-loss record against Christians on debate org is like putting your estimated IQ from a how many? Triangles, do you see meme on your business card? Okay All right next up we have Missouri correspondent Max DeVille an atheist named Max DeVille

Is this a fucking Christiano Brothers production? Yes. Yes it is according to Max DeVille. I was born in st. Joseph, Missouri home of the Pony Express. His emphasis. I perform escape artistry and mentalist effects for audiences under the moniker Dr. Max Deville. Okay, there is literally no sign of this person on the internet, but at least I know who I square up on the opposite side of during our role play. Right? Like I'm obviously, it's obviously me and Dr. Max Devil.

Well, no, clearly. Dibs on the guy who had a job back in 1983. I think I can take him. That's over 40 years. I love that he added just the word doctor to his thing. He's like a PhD of escape artistry. Home of the Pony Express. Yeah. It's so fucking funny. Very exciting. First thing he says. I mean the Pony Express moved around a lot. That was the whole thing. Right? It was a... Alright, so we've met the official squad, but it's

also very important that we all know that the Republican atheists do have friends as well. They have friends. Oh, OK. I learned about that from their dedicated friends page. They have five friends, by the way. And literally, one is a black friend. They have a page about their one black friend. They really do.

But the most prominent friend, at least based on her enormous photograph, because she too is incapable of resizing an image, is Gillian Becker, a British-American commentator who was born in Johannesburg, South Africa. She does not have a black friend. Likely no. She's also an author who has been published.

She's listed on the Friends page as a published author. That's her job. They've been burned by non published authors before. Sure. Also, she's the editor in chief for the atheist conservative.com. It's a blog by her. She's the editor in chief of herself on that blog. I checked it out.

Damn it, Johnson. I need that on my dance floor this morning. I checked out the blog and here's what I found in the most recent posts. This post called the English political hero martyr, Tommy Robinson. Oh my God. Damn it. You can't make it up. In case anyone doesn't remember, he's the soccer hooligan turned bigotry advocate in the UK that Marsh told us about in episode 601.

We also had like the hero martyr really? Wow. The warrior poet of bigotry. You couldn't write it better. Wow. There was also a post called what Trump's glorious victory could mean. Exciting. Probably the end of your plow.

And the most recent post. President Trump bestrides the world. Bestrides, huh? Bestrides it. And Becker said of his presidency, quote, it's going to be wonderful to watch. It's going to be a golden shower. Exciting.

People, people, sick everywhere are rightly in awe of the most powerful man in the world, who is also friendly, dependable, though totally unpredictable, that doesn't make any sense, proud, but with no snobbery in him, and with a glorious sense of humor all his own. If we could not write about our preferred presidential candidate, like I wrote about Edward Cullen when I was 13, that would be great. That would be really great. And by the way, their good friend, Gillian Becker, who is 92 years old, by the way, that's

over 40 years. Beat me to it. She also served on a committee within the UK Parliament that advised Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher on terrorist issues. Eww. So, nailed it. No troubles there at all. Yeah, right. And Becker is best known for a book she wrote called, Hitler's Children, that I'm sure everyone remembers as the Newsweek Book of the Year

for Europe for 1977. She also left the honorary board at FFRF but not on purpose. It was just a strong wind blower. Oh okay, there you go. Out of the room. Yeah, I think the book is anti-Hitler but like we don't know for sure. I really, really don't know. Another important section from their site is the shop that includes a wide variety of books recommended by their very good friend, Gillian Becker, who wrote Hitler's Children. The topics include conservative politics, free market economics, and fiction. It's the same picture. Hahaha. Each book has an Amazon link that appears on their site as a broken thumbnail.

Oh, yeah, you can see it. Most importantly in the shop is a very exciting section called miscellaneous. By which they mean very sad Etsy shop for Trump themed homemade jewelry created by group president Lauren L's friend who makes homemade jewelry. Here's what they have available. The Trump pendant necklace stamped with heart emoji Trump on one side and hashtag K-A-G.

I believe that's keep America great on the other side. $129. A bargain. They have the Trump cufflinks stamped with Trump also $129. The Trump bracelet gift idea is what it says right after that. The other two you'd want to keep for yourself. That one's stamped like the pendant with Trump on the front and hashtag KG on the back $79. That one's less expensive because it's confusing. What am I doing?

They have the Trump necklace, which says keep America great. Trump 2020, but it's 20 slash 20 like the vision for some reason. That's ninety nine dollars. These are all sterling sterling silver, by the way. And of course, they have the Love Trump earrings stamped with, you guessed it, Love Trump. That's one hundred and nineteen dollars for the pair of earrings. Well, and they have pictures, of course, of them. And we should point out that these pictures, they're all laid over like an American flag,

but they're in the stars part. So it's really hard to see the contours of the jewelry itself. It's just a fucking mess. It looks like you stole a photo from one of those stock photos. Yeah, right. I guarantee you there was a giant fight with all of those

military veteran correspondents about Flag Protocol when they were doing this photo shoot. Putting it on. Yeah. Okay. So what's the Republican Atheist team been up to these days? You might be wondering in case you're thinking of joining. Well, aside from selling homemade jewelry for their weird friend, they also do some very serious activism. According to their calendar section, they're especially focused on meet and greets.

Their most recent event was a meet and greet in Riverside, California in September of 2023. Well, it takes a lot of planning. They ramped the next one up slow, you see. Right, right. Maybe they just haven't updated the calendar. They also had a similar event in Idaho Falls, Idaho that same week.

Before that, President Lauren L. did an interview with the Urban Conservative. Very exciting. That was in June of 2020. And of course, they had their first ever meet and greet in May of 2019 at the Cheesecake Factory in Phoenix, Arizona. Those are literally the four most recent events on their calendar Lauren if you want me to show you how to delete your embarrassing blog I can show We almost share a name we share a love for silver jewelry You know we also we went to a cheesecake factory in Phoenix, Arizona We did we go to the green yeah, but we also saved this entire website just for fun in case it goes away

Yeah, so vegan cup salad. I'm guessing everybody's pretty much ready to join up. Well, good news. According to their become a member page, Republican atheists is excited to offer for the first time to the public, the opportunity to become a member of the organization. Where did they get their members before they added the public? I have no idea what that means. Audition only. They just did like a long secret run up to it.

Weird way to do an organization. They only have two requirements though for the public, which can now get into it. One, you have to identify as an atheist. Check. You have to identify as an atheist. Oh! Check. And two, you have to be a registered Republican and or align with the Republican party.

Oh, damn it. They've changed their minds on just Republican dot dot dot. I mean, align with them on what? Not clear. Not clear. And membership does come with perks, in addition to having exclusive access to their official private forum.

I want to excuse, I want to excuse the private forum. There's no amount of money they could ask that I don't want to pay. Well, spoiler, it's not a lot. No. But in addition to that exclusive access, you also get extra power it says Republican atheist members input will be recognized more than input from the general public

They fucking hate the public and it's only 35 American dollars a year Eli we almost can't afford We cannot afford not to take them over just for fun. I think they have two board members. We win. And yeah we're taking over that sterling silver gold mine of a merch store too. Okay y'all if we're gonna hostile take over the Republican Atheist website and we should I have some t-shirt and slogan ideas that I would like to propose right away.

I have some proposals about what to do with the salad bar. Yeah. Yeah. And one other detail that needs to be mentioned. In addition to those meet and greets from the calendar section, they also list a very important media appearance from August of 2017 President Lauren L did an interview with an excellent show called cognitive dissonance Oh did she know

Yeah, that appearance did not include a link to the episode We didn't get a call. Yeah, I didn't get a call mostly because it went very very badly for Lauren L Also Cecil and Tom don't post it near minutes into this interview though We didn't get a call. We didn't get a call. Mostly because it went very, very badly for Laura Nell. Also Cecil and Tom don't post it. Near minutes into this interview though, she tried to connect liberal protest movements in America to a conspiracy by George Soros. Hell yeah she did. Here's what happened with Tom and Cecil right after that.

Billionaires like George Soros. George Soros. There he is. I knew he was going to make it. Billionaires like George Soros. George Soros! There he is! I knew he was going to make it! I knew it! George Soros, welcome to the program, George Soros. Okay. Thanks so much.

Hey, we're done with this. This is the dumbest interview I've ever done in my entire life. We're very sorry. I'm done. Take care. Bye. Bye. Such a delightful fucking hang up.

I love it. George Soros, welcome to the show. It's so good. All right. Well, thanks for taking that absurd journey with us through the online world of Republican atheists and their mangled HTML on GeoCities.yikyak or whatever the fuck it was. God awful websites signing off. Call.

Before we make way for the copyright tag this week, I want to remind everybody that in-person meetups of like minded people have never been more important. Know a lot of you came out of oppressive churches, avoid meetups for psychological reasons, but if you can join a skeptics group or an atheist group or a secular group or a liberal group or whatever that doesn't rely on the good graces of Mark Zuckerberg to get together, there's never been a better time to do it. Anyway, that's all the blasphemy we've got for you tonight but we'll be back in 10,022 minutes with more.

If you can't wait that long be on the lookout for a brand new episode of our sister shows Hot Friend God of the Movies debuting at 7 a.m. Eastern on Tuesday and an even newer episode of our hot friend, God of Movies debuting at seven Eastern on Tuesday and even newer episode of our half sister. So Citation needed debuting at noon Eastern on Wednesday. Obviously, this episode wouldn't achieve full episode them. If I didn't thank Heath Enright for fucking up his recommended ads for us this week, I want to thank Eli Bosniak for having pretty fucked up recommended ads already. I want to thank the lovely and talented Lucinda

Delusions, who will hopefully be back with us next week. I also want to thank Winter for providing this week's Farnsworth quote. Glad you made it out of Texas safely. And let's hope you like Winter as much as your name suggests. But most of all, of course, I want to thank this week's best people, though you'll have to wait until next week for me to do it by name. For reasons discussed in the diatribe, I have to go straight from this record to awake. So I'm in a bit of a hurry and in too morose a mood to offer up the type of zany over the top compliments this segment is known for, but I will compliment you by name next week, I promise. Together, this as yet undetermined sized group of people helped us keep the theocrats honest, or at least keep the dishonest ones

thoroughly insulted, by giving us money. Not everybody has the money it takes to do that, but if you do, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash scathingatheist, whereby you'll earn early access to an extended ad-free version of every episode, or you can make a one-time donation by Clicking on the donate button on the right side of the home page at scathing atheist comm and if you'd like to help but not No money kind of way you can also help a ton by leaving a five-star review telling afraid about the show following us on social Media and speaking of social media Tim Rampersman handles that force and our audio engineer was Morgan Clark who also wrote all the music that Was used in this episode which was used with permission if you have questions comments or death threats to find all the content to follow the contact page

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