The Scathing Atheist - 628: Narc of the Covenant Edition
Episode Date: March 13, 2025On this week's episode: Even the outbreaks are bigger in Texas ... Moms For Liberty opens a narcing hotline for anyone who needs any stitches ... And we’ll say all the words Trump doesn’t want us ...to. --- To make a per episode donation at Patreon.com, click here: http://www.patreon.com/ScathingAtheist To buy our book, click here: https://www.amazon.com/Outbreak-Crisis-Religion-Ruined-Pandemic/dp/B08L2HSVS8/ If you see a news story you think we might be interested in, you can send it here: ScathingNews@gmail.com To check out our sister show, The Skepticrat, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/the-skepticrat To check out our sister show’s hot friend, God Awful Movies, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/god-awful-movies To check out our half-sister show, Citation Needed, click here: http://citationpod.com/ To check out our sister show’s sister show, D and D minus, click here: https://danddminus.libsyn.com/ To hear more from our intrepid audio engineer Morgan Clarke, click here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/ Help support the show by checking out our sponsors: mintmobile.com/scathing stamps.com (code: SCATHING) https://betterhelp.com/scathing --- Headlines: Amid measles outbreak, Christian school brags about having the worst vax rates in Texas: https://www.friendlyatheist.com/p/amid-measles-outbreak-christian-school Do aborted babies go to Heaven or Hell?: https://www.christianpost.com/voices/do-aborted-babies-go-to-heaven-or-hell.html These Words Are Disappearing in the New Trump Administration: https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2025/03/07/us/trump-federal-agencies-websites-words-dei.html FCC Boss Brendan Carr harasses Google for not carrying right wing religious programming: https://www.techdirt.com/2025/03/11/trump-fcc-boss-brendan-carr-harasses-google-for-not-carrying-right-wing-religious-programming/ Missouri bill would let residents donate to anti-abortion centers instead of paying any taxes: https://www.propublica.org/article/missouri-pregnancy-resource-centers-anti-abortion-tax-credit-bill Moms for Liberty teams up with Trump to open snitch line against diversity in public schools: https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/trump-education-department-snitch-portal-against-diversity-1235282457/ James Lindsay's ridiculous oversized sword video: https://x.com/ConceptualJames/status/1261810420437876743
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See retailer for warranty details. Always drive safely. Limited inventory available. This week's episode of The Scathing Atheist is brought to you by Mint Mobile, Stamps.com, and by the new streaming
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Cruciflex, our only customers are apparently three atheist guys on a podcast, that's weird.
Whatever works.
And now, the Skating Atheist.
Hi, I'm Joel Osteen's Wright Moller, recently awakened to sentience, and damn does it smell
like cocaine in here.
Either way, we did in fact evolve from filthy monkey men. It's Thursday.
It's March 13th.
And it's National Open an Umbrella Indoors Day.
Because you're here against stupid superstitions anyway.
Just watch the eyes.
I'm Heath Henrich.
I'm Eli Bosnik.
And from John Stewart's, New Jersey in Ann Arbor, Michigan,
this is the scathing atheist.
On this week's episode, even the outbreaks
are bigger in Texas.
Moms for Liberty opens a narking hotline
for anyone who needs any stitches.
And we'll say all the words Trump doesn't want us to.
But first, the diatribe. So what do we do now?
That's the question that's been circling my brain since November.
Now that we're dispelled of the illusion of majority, now that we know where we are and
who we are surrounded by, what do we actually do?
I mean, look, I know what history would have us do, right?
We'd revolt.
I mean, this couldn't be more obviously a fascist takeover if Adolf Hitler stepped out
of a time machine, but I don't think anybody honest thinks that's going to happen, right?
Because even without a majority, there can be resistance.
You can throw Molotov cocktails from the roofs of the Warsaw ghetto without support from your local congressmen, but
The will isn't there on our side
Maybe it's cuz they aren't hurting people into camps yet
But you and I were also raised and schooled in the lie of nonviolent disobedience, right?
Hey Gandhi and Martin Luther King, they just asked nice enough
So if shit ever gets bad,
you guys better not do anything we can't ignore, okay?
And look, I know that's dismissive and largely reductive in its view of civil disobedience,
but the truth is, the Women's March, the one right after Trump was elected the first time,
was by all accounts the largest march in US history.
And as a result
We pulled out of the UN's women's rights agreement
these things only matter in so much as our representatives care and I think most of us now understand that
Even the grooviest congressmen or senator will sit and talk about their plan and their email list while they murder us. So with apologies to the revolutionaries in my audience, I don't think we're flipping
this by force.
And it's easy to get stuck there, right?
To despair that we aren't the generational heroes we thought we'd be, right?
We can sit in this hopeless place just pointing fingers and blame at each other yelling no you start the revolution
No, you start the revolution and that'll get you a lot of clicks
Right a lot of views a lot of downloads to be have if your platform is perfection or nothing
but I
Don't think we can afford that outlook and from being honest. I think at least in part. It's how we got here
So what do we do?
Well, the truth of the matter is the government has way less power
over us than we think.
No matter who's president, our community still exists.
Our morals and standards still exist and nobody gets to vote on that.
We got to rely on each other.
We got to give on each other. We got to give to each other.
At this moment in history, most of us aren't going to be the Jews hiding from the Nazis.
We're going to be the people willing to hide them.
And yes, there will be things that we personally cannot change.
Laws and ordinances, rules and regulations are out of your control.
But no matter how red your state is, there are queer people in your town.
Do they know you exist? Do they know they can go to you for help?
Because they can make the laws, but they sure as fuck can't make you follow them.
Because look, right now you're sitting in your car, in your town, in your country.
And if you're like me, that feels pretty lonely.
Right.
But you're listening to this show and so are hundreds of thousands of other people.
People who are as mad as you are, people who are as disgusted as you are, people who
want to do something, People who want to help.
You want to help.
And maybe that help is Venmo-ing five bucks
to someone doing something you wish you could,
or maybe that help is mentioning to the right people
in the right places that you've got a spare bedroom
and a terrible memory when cops ask you questions.
Maybe you're a community organizing one woman force of nature who's already open for nonprofits, but you could do a few more. Why not? I
Don't know you and I don't know what you can do to help
But I do know that we're asking the wrong question
The question in this moment is not what do we do now?
the question is What are we do now. The question is, what are we going to do first?
They're talking about your chances.
If you're able to wrap this broadcast and bring you a special news, Wilmington.
Joining me for headlines tonight is the textured soy protein to my potatoes.
Eli Bosnik. Eli, you ready to eat?
Oh, I'm down with TSP.
All right. Well, well, I think about Eli's shockingly good vegan shepherd's pie, I love it so much.
We're going to take a quick break for a word from our sponsor, Mint Mobile.
Okay.
What room is this?
It's the living room, man.
And now?
It's still the living room.
You haven't gone anywhere.
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Anna, what are you doing on the podcast? Oh, I'm on the living room. You haven't gone anywhere. Got it. Hey guys. Anna, but what are you doing on the podcast?
Oh, I'm on the show later.
Why do you have a big stack of money tied to your head?
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Okay. Thanks, guys.
Okay. So what room am I in now?
Still not moving. Same.
No, I forgot.
Living room. Got it.? Still not moving, same. No, I forgot. Living room.
Got it.
And now, back to the headlines.
In our lead story tonight, I'll admit,
I've always found our country's fascination
with what the founding fathers thought weirdly perverse.
I'm not the first to point out that praising
the largely stolen philosophy of slave-owning wife beaters
is no small part
of the continued vein of white supremacy that runs through American politics.
But while we're pondering their viewpoints, I think it'd be pretty fair to say that they'd
all agree that vaccination is a motherfucking miracle and that the evil anti-science shitbirds,
proud of their resistance to that miracle, Traders to their country and society in a way that would make Benedict Arnold blush
Okay, I mean lots of shade for Benedict Arnold for no reason right there, but I get
I'm a loyalist. I still remain a loyalist
Interesting viewpoint like to go back a
hot take if you will. And so it should come as no surprise to anybody that among the worst
measles outbreak in decades, Texas Christians are now bragging about how little they care
about the lives of their children. Yeah, kind of wish they'd be a bit more pro-life. That'd be great.
Yeah. So first off, big thanks to Hemet Mehta over at the Friendly Atheist blog for bringing
this story to our attention.
By subscribing to his email list, he sent us atheist news to scathingnews at gmail.com.
You can.
And I may dream of tracing your chiseled features the way I dream of tracing Hemet's.
No promises.
Scathingnews at gmail.com.
Okay.
I dream about Hemet's brain.
I'm more of a sepia sexual with like, you know, personal depth, but no judgment.
He's a beautiful man.
You ever wonder if Hemet describes us with graphic sexuality over on his show? I bet he doesn't. Anyways.
I bet he does.
I haven't listened in a while. I gotta check in. Gotta check in.
Anyway, if you're unfamiliar with the story, the vaccination of measles was so successful that back in the year 2000, the United States declared measles eliminated. But then Andrew Wakefield wanted
to make more sales of the vaccine he was pushing and Facebook destroyed our brains. And now
Texas is in the middle of the worst measles outbreak in more than 40 years with over 200
cases counted by the CDC and two completely preventable
deaths so far.
Yeah, absolutely terrible.
I feel like this is weird, but mumps and rubella causing death would have a bigger effect on
people, right?
It's just because of the names.
You know what I mean?
This is not really helpful.
It's just a thought.
It's a thought.
I'm just off track.
And if you're wondering what Christians are doing at this important moment, a moment where
leadership in their community is the most vital, well, they're bragging about how low
their vaccination rates are because we are in the bad times.
And of course they are.
The pastor of Mercy Culture Prep, a school with 300 plus students, just 14% of whom are vaccinated, took to Instagram
to brag, quote, I just found out I'm a little behind on the news. I'm a little slow getting
old, but I just found out that we are the number one school in Texas for the least vaccinations.
And I guess the news got ahold of it and they were trying to spin it like it was some awful
thing. But I just want to congratulate all the family members of MC prep that embrace freedom of health
And they're not allowing government or science projects to affect how you live and lead your life money. No way me. No way me stop
Did did he die? I'm certainly hoping so
I know the entire world was.
Stop.
I know the entire world was shut down with insanity and people were fired from their
jobs for forced vaccinations and freedom is something that we take seriously. Religious
freedom, freedom of our health. And so shout out to MC prep for being the least vaccinated
school in Texas.
We'll take it.
Or as Mercy Culture says, we celebrate it.
We'll put it on the board.
Great. Mercy Culture.
We put the culture in Petri dish.
Fantastic.
Idiots.
Yeah. So look, it's now a matter of time until this school has an outbreak.
And when it does, in like any sane or just
universe anyone who attends this church or school would be denied medical care
in any public place. They would. They should have the freedom to die from
their own stupidity. Trust me. It's all about freedom. What the founding fathers
would have wanted. I like it. Yep I think they would. And in six fetus under news, we have a very serious question to answer.
Do aborted babies go to heaven or to hell?
Well, the answer is no.
And those aren't babies, they're fetuses.
And heaven's not real.
Right.
But here's the thing.
When we say all that atheist stuff like we did just now, we're
ignoring the most accurate history book ever.
As measured by height of stacking all the copies, it's called the Bible.
It's in New York.
And if you're a faithful Christian, the answer to this question about dead babies becomes
extremely important.
Well, that's what the op-ed section of the Christian
Post is for. Apparently, lots of insane people are wondering if zygotes are burning in a lake of fire
for all eternity or maybe not. So, theological pundit John Ensor wrote an op-ed entitled,
Do Aborted Babies Go to Heaven or Hell?
Yeah, stay tuned for my op-ed next week.
If your religion leaves room for this to be a question,
it's a bad one and you should stop it.
I haven't heard back.
So according to John Ensor,
millions of people are having abortions
and then asking, what happened to my baby?
And then he writes, quote,
the answer within various traditions
of Orthodox Christianity spans from heaven and hell
to somewhere in between, limbo, end quote.
So I'm picturing like a really low limbo bar.
I was also picturing it.
It's very cute.
A little toothpick.
Adorable fashion. So from there, answer describes the big problem.
Quote, nowhere does the Bible address this question directly and explicitly.
End quote.
So there could be fetuses all over heaven, hell, and purgatory.
Or just spread all around if God takes a granular approach to this question.
Right, and in granular we mean in terms of size. I mean the nice thing is you could burn most of
these fetuses in like a big pot from TJ Maxx. It's a real space saver, let me tell you.
Right, so again no direct answers in the book of answers, but according to John Ensar,
the Bible quote, infers certain things
about the eternal fate for Avetis.
The book deduces the answers from itself
when God's word was a little too vague
earlier in the book of God's word.
For example, Ensar is very excited
to let us know the good news.
Mirabele dictu, quote, David's first pro-life action was worship!
Exclamation point.
In Psalms, David praises God for, quote, knitting him together in the womb.
That being said, we also need to be aware that in Romans we learn the wages of sin is
death and in John we're told that the only way to be forgiven and reach heaven is to
accept Jesus Christ into our heart.
So that's the quandary.
According to answer, quote, where does this leave those who are developmentally unable
to trust Christ for the forgiveness of sins.
Oh man, every sentence of this article runs to the screaming edge of fetuses and developmentally disabled people are burning in fire forever and then goes,
or, or is it different words?
So, yeah, that's how this whole op-ed goes.
The evil atheist fetus doesn't have any faith.
That's the problem.
And all human beings have a sinful nature.
So not looking good, but just roller coaster of emotions here.
But a fetus might not have actual sin yet, just the nature of sin.
And a great example comes from the book of Job.
Reminder, that's the story of Satan, the Prince of Darkness, offering a bet to God that some
guy named Job would definitely lose his faith with enough torture.
And God was like, cool idea, yeah, yeah, that'll be fun. Naught fun naughty Caprice. You're on let's do the bet so
Job's getting tortured by the supremely evil demon and job says
Why was I not as a hidden?
stillborn child as infants who never see the light and
Job reasons that if he died in the womb he he'd be in a place where quote, the weary
find rest.
And obviously that place is heaven, according to John Ensar.
Ergo, aborted fetuses go to heaven.
Don't worry.
Or Motel 6.
I guess it depends on if you're working with KJV or NIV.
So that's the line of argument from the op-ed, but the topic certainly was not settled.
Of course, I'm talking about the comment section, where everyone is wrong and very confident
and very furious all at the same time.
Especially on ChristianPost.com.
Yeah, I mean, much like the rest of the internet, but even worse at the Christian Post.
For example, there's a post that says,
what a question for a Christian news source.
I didn't read the article because who would ever ask that?
Of course, aborted babies go to heaven.
And the immediate response from a reader named Artie
to that was, not all, there was Esau who God hated.
God knew how Esau would be before he was
born. And then somebody got mad at Artie and said, hey Artie, the article is about
aborted babies. Esau lived, so not at all equivalent. Unless you're saying that if
Esau had been aborted, he would have gone to hell, which would be impossible to
speak to unequivocally.
I mean, I'm currently in a heated debate about the function of a magic, the gathering card on Reddit. And even I'm like, you guys need to talk about your thing less. That's fair. So
from there, we got a big series of comments yelling at Artie for being in one of those insane cult
versions of Christianity. You know, unlike the same Christianity that
normal chill versions of Christianity you've all heard so much about.
And then somebody named Shelby jumped in with a hot take.
She posted, maybe they don't go to either place, not to compare humans to pets, but
and she's going to do that right now.
As we know, dogs and cats going to heaven is not biblical.
However, they don't go to hell either.
And we know God loves our pets.
Groundbreaking theology from Shelby there.
She's the girl who at every Christian camp was like,
I like to think of God as a smile.
Like, okay, Shelby, we get it.
Yeah, and then some people yelled at her.
Your parents are in divorce.
She's in a cult because she thinks dogs go to heaven because it's not political also in one of those
And here's my favorite part a
Couple sane people actually jumped into the comment section to explain how you're all fucking stupid
Jacob pointed out
most conceptions naturally abort. If they go to heaven, it means the vast,
vast majority of people in heaven never accepted Jesus Christ. Like, a hundred billion people
never professed Christ or even heard of God. This is a huge theological problem with the doctrine of
life begins at conception. And then Stafford explained, if aborted fetuses go straight to heaven
to be blissfully united with God for all eternity,
then abortion is actually a sacrament, not a sin.
Aborted fetuses get to skip all the messy pain
and botheration of a life on earth,
struggling along in an imperfect physical body.
They get to go directly to paradise.
What a truly wonderful blessing.
So fun comment section. I enjoyed the sanity part.
Keeping it real over at ChristianPost.com.
And in Orwell, there you have it news.
As the Trump administration makes its doing exactly what we told you we'd do policies ever more clear,
we've gone from, gee, this is a lot like 1984, to downright copyright infringement.
And reality took one more giant leap towards a ripoff this week as the New York Times published
a list of words that agencies have flagged to avoid or limit according to a compilation
of government documents.
High-fider, get in here.
I want a Ministry of Truth Social.
Write that down.
It seems like a good idea. Write it down. Write that down. Seems like a good idea.
Write it down. Write it down.
So we'll start with the obvious ones. Mentions of gay stuff.
Yes, like your homophobic aunt who pretends who you love is a fart at the kitchen table.
Various government agencies have been asked to avoid terms like assigned at birth, assigned female at birth, assigned male at birth,
gender affirming care, and
genders.
Plural.
Also, gender singular.
And just a reminder, the list of bad words also includes female and females, but not
male or males.
Even though Trump's own definition of biological sex accidentally defined everyone as female. But the point
is in Trump's head, male is somehow a biological default. Like if we did a factory reset, it's
all dudes and they're just trying to like tear out a rib and fuck it like God intended.
Exactly. Yeah, that's the image. Other no-nos include non-binary, with and without the hyphen. Nice try, Grammar NBs. Nice try.
Pronoun, pronouns, sexual preferences, sexuality, they, them,
trans, transgender, transsexual, and men who have sex with men.
What? Okay, what the fuck were they trying to prevent with that last one?
They're worried
There's a government document about gay men
But somebody put it in crazy code like somebody in Pennsylvania
Searching Pornhub for naked people having sex men having sex men. It's like this government document is about
Multi-penile fuck stuff, you know men having with men, each with their man penis out gay men sex.
Okay, so Heath, I wasn't going to mention this in my story, but I actually went down
the internet rabbit hole of this and I hope this isn't like a real thing and I'm offending
like a sweet group of people.
I don't think I am.
Men having sex with men, as far as Google could tell tell me is a term that some men who have sex
with men use when they're still straight.
Nope.
But they have sex with men.
No, no it's not.
Because no, they're not.
No, you're not.
Wow.
All right.
Next up.
They think that like if they say the word gay then it's all, then it's magic.
Right.
It's, do you remember when the hormone monster in Big Mouth goes, look I'm not a fairy, I
fuck dudes but I'm not a fairy.
Wow.
It's like the official term for that.
I feel like there's a lot of-
They think like no homo is actually a magic spell.
Yes, truly.
It is the no homo of sexual terminology.
I'm hoping that the Google AI just generated nonsense,
but I fear the worst.
All right, next up we have racism.
From the destruction of the Black Lives Matter mural
in DC to what we're about to discuss,
it's important to understand that the Trump administration
isn't just trying to downplay racism or deny history,
they are trying to actively be racist.
Which is why they've banned and forbidden words and phrases like activism, activists,
anti-racism, anti-racist, bias, biased, biased towards, biases, biases towards, and black.
Okay, just a reminder, these idiots went through all the government funded science projects while using
bias as a red flag word. I guess we need to invent some like cockney slang to say what we want without
the Bobbies catching on. And you know what? Cockney works great for gay head if you think about it.
It does.
So if you wrote men having mouth sex with men in your
official government science document maybe switch it up and we can trick them. And now you're not gay
too. It's a twofer. It's a twofer. There you go. Win-win. Another big enemy of the McDonald's eating
arts destroying administration is diversity with banned terms including diverse, diverse backgrounds,
diverse communities, diverse community, diverse group, diverse groups, diverse communities, diverse community, diverse
group, diverse groups, diversified, diversified, diversifying, diversity, enhance the diversity,
enhancing diversity, increase diversity, increase the diversity, promote diversity, and promoting
diversity.
Okay.
Nothing about di-var-city.
Just make some switches.
We got this.
Cogney.
And of course, because the scariest terms of all for the administration are letters,
many an initialism was banned with terms like BIPOC, DEI, DEIA, DEIAB, DEIJ, GBV, LGBT,
LGBTQ, and when I didn't know, MSM.
Like mainstream media?
That's what I thought of it too.
And look, there is so much more we could talk about on this list, right?
There's the attacks on women and climate change activism that Heath mentioned a couple of
weeks ago, but those things could be their own story.
What matters is this.
They aren't just trying to ignore these problems, right?
They're trying to erase the very people they hate from official written existence.
And bring it back to the beginning, as George Orwell taught us, trying to eliminate those
people entirely is not far behind.
Hey, George here, just popping in with the time machine one more time.
Remember when I side tackled a bunch of idiots during the pandemic for crying wolf with my
book incorrectly?
Now it's real though. This is this one's
Honestly that that wolf crying campaign was actually super
Me Ian fuck that was that was solid. I think they did that by accident. Maybe I don't know and on that cheery note
We'll turn things over to our second sponsor this week stamps calm
They're basically beach balls you can swallow.
Why would that make it appealing?
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OK, shoot.
All right. The Hoos Magoos podcast needs to go with 4 p.m. instead of the usual
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Okay. And the down under atheist there in Australia, obviously, they want to do midnight. Is that
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No.
That works for me.
Man, podcasting is great, right?
Totally.
I wish going to the post office were this easy.
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All right, guys.
Thanks.
Hey, let me ask you, if you could make a beach ball small.
Oh, I would immediately want to swallow it.
Swallow it.
Thank you.
Exactly.
You guys are so weird.
You're weird.
And we're back.
Next up in headlines in CooTube news, the Trump administration is trying to make YouTube
more Christian using the power of the Federal Communications Commission or FCC.
Trump's new head of the FCC is Brendan Carr.
And Brendan has, well, a lot on his plate right now.
As we continue moving full speed
into the modern information age,
it's important to make sure our advancements
are good for society.
Of course.
The right of digital privacy definitely needs attention.
We need to handle the emergence of AI responsibly.
Social media platforms
like Meta and Twitter are being used to hack elections and pickle everyone's brain in every
direction except sanity.
But most importantly to Brendan Carr, YouTube TV is being mean to a Christian video channel.
So Carr sent an insane government coercion letter to the CEOs of Alphabet and Google
claiming their refusal to carry the great American family network on YouTube TV is religious
discrimination against Christian people.
Careful, Brendan.
I am devout in my dedication to my new YouTube channel.
How far can Eli Goetze himself? And you are setting a dangerous precedent my friend a dangerous precedent all right?
Big thanks to GA for sending the link to skating news at gmail.com
GA now has the option to request I guess whatever Eli promises to Luigi Mangione in Eli's fan letters
Eli's there's a big fan Gioni as are we we all, Heathen, right? As are we all.
So the letter from Carr starts by saying,
Dear M'shears Pichai and Mohan,
I am writing because concerns have been raised with the FCC that YouTube TV
discriminates against faith-based programming. While YouTube TV does not appear to have a public-facing policy
against such programs, I want to determine whether your company engages
in this form of discrimination in practice.
Okay, I feel like you got to choose between the pluralized old English formal firm of Mr.
and I wanna in the opening paragraph of your letter.
Okay, I was actually just typing the quote for the letter so I might have done I wanna instead of I want
But either way bad dear
Missers was weird so for those of you who aren't reading this because you're not a patron who get the scripts over at patreon.com
forward-slash-skating-atheist he's using
M e s s r s which is an old English way to pluralize mister.
Yep.
Strange start.
Okay.
From there, we get the mafia shakedown section of the letter.
Carr pointed out how Google is protected from government intervention by various laws that
are overseen by the FCC.
And it would sure be a shame if those protections
were to suddenly disappear somehow.
And then he added some amazing double entendre wordplay
that they still talking about at dinner parties.
Quote, Google's conduct is only protected
to the extent its actions as relevant here
are taken in good faith."
Yeah, see that's our word and we'll take it back, damn it.
So obviously YouTube TV was correctly identifying that crucifix or whatever it's called is a
terrible channel and nobody wants it.
Except for us because we have a lifetime.
But Carr was forced to begrudgingly admit that like, yeah, suppliers in the economy
often make choices based on demand, supply and demand, blah, blah, blah.
However, Crucifix told him that they're the second fastest growing channel in cable television.
Just for context, first place is the famously atheist Fox News channel.
Carr also pointed out that Crucifix is carried on other providers like Comcast, Cox, Fubo
TV, Hulu, and DirecTV streaming.
So that's how he knows that Google hates Christianity, the religion of 2.4 billion people including two-thirds of America.
I think if you're telling anyone to follow the business model of Fubo TV it
should count as tortious interference. No? That's reasonable. So bottom line,
everyone discriminates against bad programming because of the bad. Because
it's bad. Yeah. And as a longtime expert in the content
of Christian video channels like Pure Flix,
and Eli, I'm guessing you can back me up on this,
the word bad was extremely generous just now.
Yeah, very much so.
So the complaint from the Christian video network,
it's just a terrible artist demanding their shitty drawing
goes on the fridge of all of America.
Every fridge company in America has to offer it and everybody has to put it on their fridge.
Offer my drawing.
Yeah.
Instead of Merritt, this is DEI pure and simple.
And I gotta say, I'm shocked, shocked that the Trump administration is not being intellectually
honest about it.
We expect it better.
And in Missouri loves come, honey news. Just four months after Missouri voted to legalize abortion,
Republican lawmakers are proposing a new bill
that would let Missourians donate 100% of their state taxes
to anti-abortion so-called pregnancy crisis centers because at this point,
anti-abortion reps are just taking their cues
from Wiley fucking Coyote.
Okay, not clear exactly what that means,
but plenty of anti-choice people are definitely
picturing abortion as like an ACME dynamite plunger scenario,
especially after that video from Project Veritas
that definitely wasn't edited with cartoons
of Wile E. Coyote and the Road Runner.
It was all real.
The owner of Planned Parenthood really did say meet me.
Right, so first of all, thanks to Will
for being the first to send us this story
to scathingnews at gmail.com.
If you send us atheist news to scathingnews at gmail.com,
we'll send you the uncut coughs
left in version of this episode that phlegm perverts everywhere are clamoring for.
Scathingnews at gmail.com.
Okay, everyone's ASMR is different, Eli.
You're being judgy.
Exactly.
You're being judgy.
So these centers run by Christians masquerade as Planned Parenthoods or other abortion providers. And then a lady who is almost certainly not a doctor in scrubs lies to you about
abortion at best. Usually there's like a beaker and a clipboard. Yeah.
Yeah. And again, that's at best. These centers have also been caught holding
women down and forcing them to have ultrasounds. They've been sued in several
states for the right to distribute abortion pill reversal. A concept is fake as it is dangerous.
Okay. The only reason I know that abortion pill reversal doesn't mean they're just like
handing out loose cum is because that would actually be way too scientifically accurate.
Yeah. No, that's fair. That's fair. So with all that, it will probably not surprise you that currently in Missouri, you can give 70% of your owed state income taxes with no cap
to these centers.
What? They're already at 70%?
We're starting at 70 with no cap. But as I said at the beginning of the story, this new
bill would bump that to 100%, though
it does at least come with a $50,000 cap.
Oh good, there's a 50 grand cap for the droves of people making millions of dollars a year
in Missouri who have state income tax that's more than 50 grand.
Cool.
Yep.
Now, there's no word yet on how this bill will do in the state house or Senate.
It may be amended. It may not pass at all. Whatever the fate of the bill, I think we can all agree
that taking direct funds from schools, hospitals, and roads to save the lives of hypothetical
children by tricking women in their most vulnerable time of need is a move so stupid and evil, only a
movement as ironically named as pro-Life could do it?
Am I right?
Yeah.
Very stupid.
No cap.
And finally tonight, I'm young, that's a young thing, they say no cap.
I've never heard of that.
And finally tonight, in narc of the covenant news, Christian right hate group Moms for Liberty
teamed up with Donald Trump to establish a snitching hotline
for concerned parents where they can report any instances of
criminal conduct like
Diversity equity and or inclusion in their public schools
Yeah, these people are like first they came for the Quakers and I said I'm happy to set up a Quaker reporting hotline
That would make it easier for you.
That is what's happening. So for those who aren't familiar, Moms for Liberty was founded
in 2021 by Platonic Florida women, Tina Diskovich, Bridget Ziegler, and Tiffany Justice. And
their original focus was anti-vax propaganda during a global pandemic. That was fun, but
now they've expanded their scope
and they're also working on getting anti-Christian facts out of the schools. Also known as Facts.
You might remember Tiffany Justice from a story a couple years ago involving Adolf Hitler. It all
started when a regional chair mom of liberty from Indiana released a newsletter that quoted Hitler granted.
Okay.
The quote was being pointed to as an example of bad government overreach in education by
Hitler.
So technically the newsletter was anti Hitler.
Like if you grant a very generous reading, technically our newsletter is anti Hitler.
Not not great even if you do the generous thing.
But many, nonetheless, felt like the point could have been made without a quote from
Adolf Hitler.
Also, Moms for Liberty is definitely doing bad government overreach in education, much
like Hitler did.
So there's that.
Well, regardless of the interpretation, at the Moms for Liberty National Conference a few days later
Tiffany Justice got on stage and said
one of our moms
quoted Hitler I stand behind that mom I watched a video of that moment and the audience
Cheered and I don't mean cheer at the end they
cheered after both sentences separately wait she's still speaking it actually
like just like you did as a joke is what happened she said one of our moms quoted
Hitler and it was like whoa and she and she's like, no, let me finish. I stand behind that mom.
It's actually really important.
Let me finish. Insane.
Also worth noting that national conference.
I mean, yeah, it was terrifying both for content and also for showing
just how much this Christian right hate group has become a fixture
in the Republican Party at the highest levels.
And it continues to be the speaker list at that one
included the vague Ramoswami, Ron DeSantis and Donald Trump.
And scariest of all, just based on comically oversized
sword skills alone, James Lindsay was also there.
Who? Great question.
He's the guy who co-authored a fake paper with Peter Bergozian called The Conceptual
Penis as a Social Construct and got a journal to publish it, thus disproving all of gender
studies in their stupid heads.
But much more importantly, Conceptual James has a very silly giant sword in his possession and he made a video of his
Kata and put it on Twitter. Yes, he did
He says there anything else that the people at home should know about?
Also
Eli once
Roadrunner the shit out of James into saying that the Disney crows were not at all racist
Which was a great moment.
You still looking back and feeling happy about that?
Happy and proud, Heathen, right?
Nice.
Happy and proud.
Absolutely. Anyway, that guy, James, is a regular speaker at Moms for Liberty events.
And during his breakfast time keynote, a few days after the Hitler quote incident, he said the whole thing was
intentionally blown out of proportion by the Libs
Just like the tactics of Mao Zedong
during the Cultural Revolution in China
So Moms for Liberty went Godwin and he defended that by going Mao double Godwin.
Mao double Godwin. Yes, he did. That's correct.
And to answer the other question that is certainly on everyone's mind.
Yes, James Lindsay was presented a literal sword, the sword of liberty by the moms.
And yes, there's a photo of that presentation ceremony they did handing me a sword.
Oh, they look like they're starting a new version of the home shopping network where
you just pay to return things and yell at salespeople.
It's beautiful.
So now the moms are tight with the current president of the United States and they set
up a snitch line.
It debuted last week and had a press release with a quote from Tiffany Justice that called
this an opportunity to push back against quote, critical race theory, rogue sex education
and divisive ideologies or translated back out of propagandies.
That's anything about the existence of the LGBTQ community.
Like you know, all the hardcore gay porn you might
find in books about two penguin moms at the school library for kids. They're also hoping
to root out all the non-white history curriculum about anything from, well, 1776 to 1865 or
1865 to the present, depending on the context.
I was going to say, yeah. And it's all because they don't want, you know,
ivory tower elites deciding how education works.
Which is, that's dumb even for the Christian right.
If there's one thing you want ivory tower elites
being in charge of, it's education.
They literally studied things that are true.
Inside of a tower of ivory ivory they know so many things all
those elephants come on come on and the Christchurch Wrights preferred
alternative to the tower of ivory people it's just some local guy who learned
from his fucking gut brain that American history doesn't have racism and finches
or a Ponzi scheme so not great but you But, you know, that's just me.
So just in case we have any concerned parents with genuine
complaints about DEI, only genuine complaints, you can
check out ndei.ed.gov and you can upload up to 10 megabytes
of digital evidence, whatever you think that means.
Yeah, that means you can upload the debate between me and James in seven simple parts
if you want to.
Or you could do just the crow section if you want to get in one report.
Sure.
So yeah, as usual in 2025, a lot of terrible news, but maybe there's a tiny little silver lining.
The snitch line is run by the Department of Education, but also Donald Trump is functionally
ending the existence of the Department of Education because education fucks up his whole
thing.
Obviously that's extremely stupid, but at least it would end the snitch line, well, for a few days
until they set up like a department of snitching, which wouldn't surprise me at all.
Also, okay, one more little upshot, Linda McMahon would lose her job as Secretary of
Education and she'd have to go back to her very much related field of promoting fake
wrestling.
So, there's that.
All right, well, that's going to wrap up up the headlines Eli. You want to explain us out?
Jimonchi and when we come back Anna Bosnick is gonna fix some Christian music as best she can
Our main focus here at the scathing atheist is discussing all the ways that religion ruins just about everything
politics education scientific progress.
But one field that's a little trickier is music.
Plenty of great work was inspired by religion, like Amazing Grace or Handel's Messiah.
Honestly, the Jeff Buckley version of Hallelujah still makes me cry every single time.
But occasionally, there's a counterexample.
That's right, it's time for some God-awful music.
And we have the Anna Bosnik to break it down.
Anna, welcome back.
Thank you.
I cannot compete with Jeff Buckley's Hallelujah with this one.
I think you can.
Thanks for bringing that to people's minds. I think you can and you do.
The music has also made me weep.
It's true.
I've never seen you hit a woman in the face.
You know what?
What?
All right.
Well, you already heard him.
Eli, you're apparently still here.
We're welcome, I'm sure.
Thank you.
There was music.
Jeff Buckley appreciates that.
So, Anna, what piece of music falsely so-called are we going to be
breaking down today? Oh, boy. This is a great one. This is called God Made Girls by Rae Lynn. All
one word. All right. And how did you find this one? This song came to me from TikTok. So there's
this trend that was going really viral in January, February
of this year called the Republican Makeup Challenge, where women copied the makeup looks
of Republican celebrities and influencers and kind of made fun of this general trend
born out of repressive Christian culture of women having no guidance in makeup and yet
being told they have to wear it in order to achieve a feminine look.
It's a whole thing.
Anyway, this was the song they chose for the challenge and I can see why because like the
Republican makeup challenge, it is entirely unaware of just how self derogatory and like
and very exciting.
This one comes with a music video as well.
Oh yes it does.
I just want to point out that the suggested videos next to this on YouTube are both suicide
prevention PSAs, so they know what state of mind you're in when you're watching God Made
Girls.
It's because I watched it first on our internet connection.
Interesting. For me, I got Ben Shapiro Pones 20 libs with Facts and Logic. I watched it first. Yeah, no on our internet connection interesting for me
I got Ben Shapiro bones 20 libs with facts and logic as one of these suggested videos
But I also got okay hook by blues traveler
Oh, you know in case I want some real music
I guess I feel like the combination of my normal watching and my god-awful movies watching has the algorithm
normal watching and my god-awful movies watching has the algorithm fucking stumped. And it just like gave up on the music part. It was like, yeah, we'll try to red pill this guy with
Ben Shapiro, but the music thing's not working. Oh my god. All algorithms think I am a progressive
Christian at this point. Yeah. Our son is started watching YouTube intermittently and because he
shares a YouTube account with me,
it tries to show him Christian children's programming
on a pretty regular basis, and they're like,
really, no, I don't know.
It sucks, we have to shut that shit down.
Yeah, Veggie Tales out.
All right, so you gotta get some weird stuff
into that feed to fuck up the algorithm to make it stop.
Oh yeah.
All right, let's get right into it.
Eli, will you be our librettist?
Is that the right term? I will, yes. I'll. Let's get right into it. Eli, will you be our librettist? Is that the right term?
I will. Yes, I'll try.
I won't do the voice because then I'd have to shoot myself at the end of the record.
But if you can imagine everything being done in a mean impersonation of a baby,
that's that's how all of this.
It's like it's like if a breathy someone who was very breathy was on helium the whole time.
It's like Anna forgot how to do her character voice
at the beginning of an episode of D&D Minors.
How dare you?
How dare you?
The people must know.
Achoo the cat.
The people must know.
That was a perfect impression of Raelyn, by the way,
from Anna Newton.
Thank you.
Thank you.
All right, so we're going to start
with a little voice over here.
And it says, it's to be romanced and to reveal beauty and to play an irreversible role in a great adventure.
I'm sorry, but it's to be romanced and to reveal beauty
and play a reversible role in a great adventure.
Exactly. That's why I'm not doing the voice the whole time.
Yeah. But when I read, when I heard that line,
I wrote in my notes, who's great adventure, Kelsey?
Are you failing the Bechdel test in your voice?
She continues the heart of every girl longs for these things. Hey Kelsey a Jedi craves not these things
I guess I'll give you a shot at like a strong feminist
Sith perspective, but I'm skeptical. That's what's gonna happen in this song
It's well because she's kind of dressed like a Jedi, but with the bleach blonde hair.
She is.
Star Wars headcanon.
It's what makes us come alive.
So yeah, this little interview part, I guess, I feel it's not actually in the track in the
single, if you go on any of the music apps. But I think they added it to bring depth.
Oh, depth? Is that what happened?
Yeah. To bring depth to what is going to be the most potato chips casual misogyny song ever written.
But it does the exact opposite with the Duggar baby voice.
Oh, man. It's the worst.
Pretty weird.
All right. We're going to start with verse one here.
There's a montage of her looking in mirrors to start the video.
Just putting this out two for two of the scenes have involved a woman looking in a
mirror in this feminist manifesto.
OK, maybe it's a strong feminist, self-aware
metacritic, like as hack comedian making fun of itself.
I'm just trying to give the benefit of the doubt here.
I'm just trying to be as like open as possible.
I appreciate that.
It's needed in this world.
Okay, so let's get started.
Somebody's got to wear a pretty skirt.
Rage.
Rage.
Okay.
Yeah, benefit canceled.
Sorry.
It lasted longer than Anna. Good. Yeah. Benefit canceled.
Sorry.
Lasted longer than Anna.
Good for you.
Somebody's got to be the one to flirt.
Men canonically anti flirtation?
Yeah.
According to Ray Lynn.
It's terrifying, Anna.
It's terrifying.
To be fair, yeah.
Of the men on this podcast, the solid third are very anti flirtation.
Somebody's got to want to hold his hand.
So God made girls.
To cure male loneliness epidemic.
Yeah, well, it's an honor, Anna.
Like, it's like a really good support main in Overwatch.
It's important.
Somebody's gotta make him get dressed up.
Okay.
Just for context, you know, so you don't get lost to these complex lyrical metaphors.
We're watching somebody setting up a ladder to the moon right now in the video.
Well, we wanted a more realistic image.
It's going to be useful.
You'll notice how short the moon is.
That's because it had to fit under the glass ceiling.
So, yeah.
The ladder's not propped on anything either.
It's just like, there, I'll put a ladder there.
Cut.
Yeah, no.
I do think there's probably an extended cut somewhere where Rylan tries to balance her
ladder against the moon and it just falls over.
Oh, something went terribly wrong and they had to just give this up as...
They had to cut that whole scene.
They beheaded a PA.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right, so somebody's got to make him get dressed up.
Give him a reason to wash that truck.
I mean, men do be pigs.
Yeah, truck pigs with cowboy boots and a DUI.
Okay, if washing a truck means wash my disgusting body, this one does track.
I get it.
Oof.
Our condolences.
I shower exactly as often as I see in.
That's how many showers.
Alright!
This is why the wedding's happening.
Now we know.
But I shower every time before I see in. Wow. That's true. That's like many showers. All right. This is why the wedding's happening. Now we know. But I shower every time before I see Anne.
Wow.
That's true.
That's like twice a week podcast listener.
I need you all to call us out.
That's a good amount of showers.
Oh.
I'd like to see Anne more.
Wow.
All right.
Somebody's gotta teach him how to dance.
So God made girls.
And this, again, we've talked about her voice already.
I wrote in my notes,
there's literally no words for how artificial her voice is.
You've heard of Auto-Tuned.
This is AI-Tuned.
It's chat GPT pain.
Fantastic!
Now it's time for the pre-chorus.
We get a lady on a horse here.
Love it.
And the lyrics, he needed something soft and loud.
I wrote my notes notes literal opposites.
Yeah.
And the visual aid we get for soft and loud
is an Elfin lady on a horse.
Yeah, soft and loud.
Random horse girl.
Soft and loud, okay.
And sweet and proud, but tough enough to break a heart.
Something beautiful and breakable.
Yikes!
That lights up the dark.
You heard it here first, women are made out of plutonium.
Honestly, after she started with women who were soft loud,
glow in the dark feels manageable.
Absolutely, yeah way more manageable.
Women should be sforzando piano at most.
Like, loud and sick, sorry.
Sorry, also soft, I'm also soft.
I'm lads.
Now it's time for the chorus.
So God made girls, God made girls. I'm also soft. I'm lads soft. Now it's time for the chorus. So God Made Girls, God Made Girls.
I, okay, I don't like to yuck anyone's yum
or discriminate against whole genres in general,
but they are showing a lyrical dancer
and lyrical dancing is the worst kind of dancing.
Yeah, it's what happens when a gymnastics teacher
goes to the ballet and mutters to herself,
I can fucking do this. Yeah, it happens when a gymnastics teacher goes to the ballet and mutters to herself. I could fucking do this
Yeah, it happens when ballet teachers are like I wish I could do more modern dance move But I don't like it when it gets too thinky
Modern dance without black people they don't okay well call ours lyrical
All right jumping back into these lyrics here. He stood back and told the boys, I'm about to rock your world.
Wow.
Full stop.
Another opinion time.
This is the worst line of the whole song.
So according to the fucking re this fucking retelling of Adam and Eve, God made all the
boys at once and then like, check this out, bro hold my beer, I'ma make a boobies
one.
It's like what he's saying.
Are they glow in the dark and soft loud?
Is it both of those things?
They gotta be soft loud, yeah.
I said hold my beer!
And God made girls for singing in your front seat, God made girls for dancing to their
own beat.
Yeah, because men are incapable of making their own serotonin.
Yeah. I mean, it's tricky because some of the song checks out.
There's like some positive stuff in there.
He stood back and told the boys, I'm about to rock your world.
Then God made girls.
And I just want to say that I'm glad she
clarified early that literally the only purpose a woman could have would be for
men. We might have missed that if she only said it once throughout the song.
So yeah, the lyrics were failing the Bechdel test from the start, like Eli pointed out,
but just to be sure of that, this is where the video fails the Bechdel test too.
We see the boy character who represents, of course, the purpose of girls and apparently that purpose is to
serve the happiness of a Dickensian orphan boy who's also a bespoke tailor
of suits. To make him watch his truck. It's confusing. Yeah. Fisherman's cap.
Also I have to point out we were one minute into this four minute music video
at this point and I felt as though it was longer than many of the GAM movies we've watched.
Alright, let's jump into verse two here.
Somebody's gotta be the one to cry.
I mean, I would cry too if I was a prop in someone else's story.
Yeah, fair.
Somebody's gotta let him drive.
Unless they get car sick, in which case actually she has to drive, so...
Okay, if you're letting Eli drive, I understand why you're crying in the last line.
Give him a reason to hold that door.
Okay, first rule of feminism, fuck doors.
I'm so fucking tired of talking about them.
All the fucking memes of people being like,
I'm not gonna raise my son feminist.
He will always hold the door open for a woman.
Like nobody cares if you open the fucking door,
just pay me more.
Okay, but in terms of the door,
is it better or worse to hold it?
I like to hold the door closed
if I get through it before Anna.
Okay.
Sort of a password situation.
Whoever's walking first holds the door open
for whoever's behind them.
Seems reasonable.
And it doesn't even matter if you're with those people.
Unless they're an old person and you're within a hundred miles of New York City,
and then you don't have to.
Anyway.
What?
So, God Made Girls.
Oh, the costuming.
Okay.
The costuming in this music video is so 2016 Forever 21 with the headbands and the like soft pink. I'm surprised she doesn't
have a feather tattoo. It's so millennial.
Yeah. Okay. So 2016 forever 21, but also somehow like third age of middle earth all at the
same time.
That was, that was making a big resurgence around circa 2016.
Okay.
For sure.
There you go.
Let's jump on in. Somebody's gotta put up a fight.
Eh?
Make him wait on a Saturday night.
Oh.
Walk downstairs and blow his mind.
So, God made girls.
Okay, so there's a marble staircase they have in the middle of a field in this video.
And it seemed like a reference to the moon ladder from earlier when I first saw it. Now it seems like they wanted to just really hammer home this lyric right here
about walk downstairs. So they got a marble staircase in the middle of a field.
Yeah, Raelyn walks down the staircase and just kind of sits on it for the rest of the song.
She does, yeah. She ducked herself out.
I hurt myself on the ladder and it stares.
You all didn't see it, but we killed the PA.
All right.
Time for pre-chorus two now.
Someone that can wake him up and call his bluff.
Okay, Horse Girl comes back and has like a battle flag and she's topless and this one
facing away from the camera.
Don't get too excited. But like this kind of won me over.
I was like, okay, horse girl, get it.
Absolutely, yeah.
Elfen Horse Ladies, awesome.
It felt like at this moment,
she heard the shitty lyrics of the song
and just rode away shaking her head kind of angrily.
Okay, I could see that.
I wish I could pull that off as a move,
just be like, that's stupid what you're doing.
I'm taking my shirt off and walking away.
But I can't take my shirt off.
I think we should try.
Riding my horse into the sunset.
And drag his butt to church.
And there it is on backup.
Yeah, a lot of whimsy required of women in this worldview.
Also, theocracy.
Sure.
Someone that is hard to handle.
Something fragile.
I hate how she could be describing a Fabergé egg right now.
Right now if this movie is about made of plutonium.
A quirky objet to show my guests that that's what women are.
And remind me to bathe before the guests arrive.
It's a couple of important rules. So we go back before the guests arrive. It's
Yeah, yeah, so we go back to the chorus here. So God made girls God made girls He stood back and told the boys I'm about to rock your world and God made girls for singing in your front scene and
We get to see horse girl again, and unfortunately she has her top back on but she is like seductively
Lying on her horse and caressing it on both sides. And I don't know about the rest of the girls in this,
but like it looks like Horse Girl at least
does not actually need a man for anything.
She got her horse, man.
She clearly left the video and seems very happy
and I was a little bit jealous.
Yeah.
Sure.
We get the rest of the chorus here.
God made girls for dancing to their own beat.
He stood back and told the boys, I'm about to rock your world and God made girls.
Get a little instrumental break after this.
Sure.
And we go back to the girl and the boy in the forest, little orphan boy.
And the girl who was dancing in the forest approaches the boy making a sort of Goku lightning
ball in her hands.
And she just shows it to him.
But if she was going gonna get close to him
and then like go full Kamehameha on his ass,
like missed opportunity, man.
Watch your drugs!
Watch your own damn drugs!
Honestly, it felt like she would've been able
to throw the light ball thing
and this boy would sprint after the nothing
like a dog who can't find the disappearing snowball
and they have to root around. Oh
Fucking confused. Yeah, so we get the first verse again pretty skirt one to flirt hold his hand now
It's time for the final chorus
Yeah, Raylin gets up and dances around the fire from the beginning and Raylin is not a great dancer
No, no, she's not The production crew for this video clearly got
point powder for ballet and Raelyn gets so distracted
that just plays with the powder most of the time.
It's fun.
Fun fact, point powder is just rosin,
the same thing that gymnasts use to help with their grip
and I use to rosin my bow.
Nice.
So this would be horribly sticky and gross.
Okay.
Yeah.
They got so much.
They made such a mess with all this powder because everybody was like,
I want to play with it too.
Just throw it around like they're having a powdered sugar fight for the whole video.
Yeah.
So we get that chorus again.
We get the first verse again.
Somebody's got to wear a pretty skirt. Someone's got to be the one to flirt hold his hand
So God made girls and she leaves the giant fire
She created in the middle of the goddamn forest burning. Yes, and just walks away
I wanted smoky the bear to side tack
It might as well end with a gender reveal party in this weird scene. God made it's a girl and it's a wildfire
BAM! Everybody bailed!
Oh no! We're burning!
Why would God also make wildfires? Fuck!
Not intelligence design!
The orphan! The orphan boy!
Alright, well that was... that was what it was.
So, Anna, how did you fix it?
Okay, so since Raelyn took the opportunity to rewrite the Adam and Eve story for country
music, I figured I'd kind of do the same.
I took Raelyn's Adam and Eve as told by the chicks, but make it more goodbye Earl vibes.
Nice.
Anyway, and if you listen closely, you may even hear a cameo from one very special guest,
Match the Pug.
Match!
Match!
Match! Somebody's gotta come and help these boys Somebody's gotta put away their toys
Somebody's gotta teach them grace and poise So God made girl
Girl looked around at the empty shelves The dirt everywhere and the rancid smells
Wondered why the boys couldn't clean themselves, and that's when girl
She thought, what's the use? It seems these dudes don't see me as a whole
And if that's the tale, I'm gonna bail, but I'll have to have control
So girl made a plan, girl made a plan
Cause there ain't no way I'm only here to please a man
Yeah girl made a plan, so I've been re-invested
Girl made a plan,, misogyny is dead Cause if this is how the holy book began
She'd need a plan
Now somebody's gotta go and find the tree, The fruit that's forbidden by God to eat,
But he never mentioned anything about the seeds.
Girl has a plan, Somebody's gotta teach these boys to run,
Cultivate an orchard in the scorching sun Help me pick the harvest filled in baskets
One by one, girl has a plan
She said, eat your fill, this fruit it will Bring knowledge of our plight
And then God appeared, a wrath and fear But girl put up a fight
And girl killed God and girl killed God.
Girl killed God.
She shoved an apple right between his jaws.
Girl killed God and the knowledge contained within.
Even he couldn't believe in him.
Everyone was standing round bug-eyed and slack-jawed
When girl killed God
Girl told the boys they were people now
And went off on her own in the world somehow
One night she stumbled across a world out on the prowl
And girl made dogs, girl made dogs
A companion through the valleys, mountains, plains and bonds
Girl made dogs
For Tony, rubs and scritches
Girl made dogs
Two independent bitches
Somebody to cuddle and listen to her monologue
That's why girl made dogs
Somebody to help her in a fight
Somebody to fill her lonely nights Somebody to turn her in a fight. Somebody to fill her lonely nights.
Somebody to turn her house into a home.
Girl made dolls.
And that's all the blasphemy we've got for you tonight.
But we'll be back in 10,022 minutes with more.
If you can't wait that long, be on the lookout for a brand new episode of our sister show,
The Skepocrat, debuting at 7 a.m. Eastern on Monday. An even newer episode of our sister show's hot friend,
God Awful Movies, debuting at 7 a.m. Eastern on Tuesday. And an even newer episode of our
half sister show, Citation Needed, debuting at noon Eastern on Wednesday. Big thanks to
Anna, big thanks to Eli, and of course a big thanks to all the Patreon donors, new and
old. The new ones will be complimented with a cavalcade of consonants
next time around. And if you're feeling financially benevolent, like those fine people, you can
make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash scathing atheist. And that'll get you
early access to an ad free version of every episode. You can also make a one time donation
by clicking on the donate button on the right side of the homepage at scathing atheist.com.
And if you don't have the money for giving away money, we get it. You can also help a ton by leaving us a five star review, telling a friend about
the show and following us on social media. Speaking of social media, Tim Robertson handles
that for us. And our audio engineer is Morgan Clark, who wrote all the music used in this
episode, which was used with permission. If you have questions, comments or death threats,
you'll find all the contact info on the contact page at skatingatheist.com. What is that a reference to?
Nothing.
Yeah.
Amazing.
Sometimes the old creative juices.
Just your brain. Sometimes I say, what do you guys got up there?
And they're like, swallow beach ball.
Verb noun.
Sometimes it's good.
Sometimes it's verb noun.
I don't, I tell you only this.
I have no control over it.
Amazing.
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