The Scathing Atheist - 639: Duck Off Edition

Episode Date: May 29, 2025

In this week’s episode, the SCOTUS huffily leaves a clause established, RFK Jr's top medical scientists are gonna see if Trump Derangement Syndrome can be cured with ivermectin, and we consider the complicated questions of duck-dynastic succession. --- To make a per episode donation at Patreon.com, click here: http://www.patreon.com/ScathingAtheist To buy our book, click here: https://www.amazon.com/Outbreak-Crisis-Religion-Ruined-Pandemic/dp/B08L2HSVS8/ If you see a news story you think we might be interested in, you can send it here: [e-mail] To check out our sister show, The Skepticrat, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/the-skepticrat To check out our sister show’s hot friend, God Awful Movies, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/god-awful-movies To check out our half-sister show, Citation Needed, click here: http://citationpod.com/ To check out our sister show’s sister show, D and D minus, click here: https://danddminus.libsyn.com/ Report instances of harassment or abuse connected to this show to the Creator Accountability Network here: https://creatoraccountabilitynetwork.org/ --- Headlines: SCOTUS passively barely maintains establishment clause for now with Barrett recused: https://www.reuters.com/world/us/split-us-supreme-court-blocks-religious-charter-school-2025-05-22/ Big beautiful bill gives more than $5 billion a year to private (mostly religious) schools: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/05/23/us/religious-charter-school-movement.html https://www.npr.org/2025/05/23/nx-s1-5397175/trump-federal-voucher-private-school Hegseth hosts meeting of what he says will be a monthly Christian prayer service at Pentagon: https://www.cnn.com/2025/05/21/politics/hegseth-pentagon-christian-prayer-service MTG argues with Grok about whether or not she’s Christian: https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/marjorie-taylor-greene-fights-grok-elon-musk-ai-1235347313/ GOP congressmen propose bill to have the NIH study the disease called "Trump Derangement Syndrome: https://www.wonkette.com/p/house-republicans-seek-scientific

Warning, the following podcast contains adult language in its most juvenile form. This week's episode of The Scathing Atheist is brought to you by Stamps.com, BetterHelp, and by the new wishing well crowdsourcing app, Plenty of Wish. Our new service finds somebody close to a wishing well who will throw money into a wishing well on your behalf while wishing for your shit for only 10% of the donation. Plenty of wish, because that's literally what churches do, and it seems like somebody else should get in on that shit. And now, the scathing atheist. Hi, I'm Ian. No, not that one. And as an American living in Europe, I can assure you that we did,

in fact, evolve from filthy monkey men and women. And then I look back at home and realize not all of us made it very Thursday. It's May 29th. And it's put a pillow on your fridge day. Yeah, because nobody knows when a nap's gonna strike. Oh, there you go. I have no illusions. I'm Eli Bosnik.

I'm Heath Henright. And from Alfred Kinsey's, New Jersey, Ann Arbor, Michigan, and Waycross, Georgia, this is the Skhing East. On this week's episode, the SCOTUS huffily leaves the claws established. RFK Jr.'s top medical scientists are going to see if Trump Derangement Syndrome can be cured with ivermectin. And reconsider the complicated question of duck dynastic succession. But first, the diatribe.

Well, you know, Joe Rogan is in the middle of finding Jesus. And right when it was most lucrative, it's amazing how often that spiritual Ali-Ali oxen free coincides with one's financial interests, isn't it? And honestly, not that atheism doesn't have its prominent assholes, but I feel like the list of people who feel pushed out speaks volumes to the quality of our company. Joe Rogan, Shia LaBeouf, Russell Brandt, JD Vance. The fact that these people don't feel welcome at our party says a lot about our party. Now to be clear, the Joe Rogan thing isn't coming from Joe Rogan, at least not yet.

It's coming from a Canadian apologist named Wesley Huff, who is clearly floating a trial balloon on Rogan's behalf. Right? Huff is a Christian apologist who guested on Rogan's show earlier this year when Rogan saw his ratings dip in a little bit and realized he needed to lean all the way into his conservative douchebag persona. After he put his thumb on the scale of the presidential election, he knew his brand was poisoned with liberals forever after. And conservatives are pretty forgiven of white men if their only sins are things like sexual assault, rape, and fraud, but they don't abide

an atheist for long. So Rogan has this professional Bible liar on his show. He pretends to find it convincing the way that he pretended to find Trump's bat shit yammering convincing. Then he starts to rethink the whole atheism thing. Then he starts to go to church and what do you know? He suddenly finds Christ. And we're at the going to church phase now, you know, an

activity that many people do on a weekly basis in advance of adopting that religion. But yeah, so now Huff is talking about on his own podcast into any media outlet that'll listen to him about how he's in regular communication with Rogan about his ongoing spiritual journey, helping him sort out his misgivings about the Bible, guiding him through his relationship with Jesus, answering his questions about the scripture, guiding him through his relationship with Jesus, answering his questions about the scripture, yada, yada, yada. You have to keep in mind that atheism

has been a pretty big part of Joe Rogan's personal brand, as long as talking about Joe Rogan's personal brand wouldn't have been a punchline, right? The whole, I'm a skeptical guy who doesn't accept the official story charade, it's his primary appeal, right? People inclined to trust their gut over climate scientists or in a pinch an MMA announcer's gut over climate scientists,

eat that shit up with a spoon. They love the fantasy that they can outsmart all them limp dick science nerds with their country gumption and Joe Rogan allows them to role play that on an episode by episode basis. Now, if I had to guess at this point, I'd assume that Rogan is trying to find out if he can occupy a middle ground here, right?

To maintain his skepticism of Christianity while still attending church often enough to appease Christians. And if I had to guess further, I would say that no, that will not be enough for them. And further still, I'd guess that he will eventually accept that that's the case and he'll very publicly declare his conversion to Christianity, thereby ultimately leading his audience to where they already

were. But despite the naked cynicism of his conversion of convenience, Christianity will spin it as a major coup. In fact, they're already doing so. Every story I saw about this, which to be fair, legitimate news sources don't give a fuck about Joe Rogan regularly attending church. so the only stories that I saw about this were from Fox News and Breitbart and the Daily Mirror and shit, but every story I saw about this pointed to it as further evidence of this mythical Gen Z revival among young men.

Not that anybody's mistaking the 57-year-old Rogan for a young man, but of course his show has a ton of appeal to that demographic, so they're showing this as the inevitable result of his audience turning to Christ in mass and him going, oh, it must be something up with all this great Jesus stuff. And by the way, if you want evidence of what bullshit this narrative is, this Gen Z revival narrative is, you need look no further than the evidence that they are offering up as to what bullshit it isn't. It's all either anecdotal or nonsensical, or both. Like this example that Huff offered on Rogan's show, he said, quote,

we had a Christian bookstore reach out to us recently, and they said, we have people walking through this door asking young people, teenagers saying, I want a Bible. All my friends are reading this thing, end quote. And when they're not using fucking hearsay to the second power, they're using stats from the American Bible Society with what the fuck would that even mean statistics like, quote, millennials saw a 29% increase in Bible use from 2024 to 2025, end quote.

Among Gen Z, scripture engagement rose from 11% in 2024 to 15% in 2025, end quote. And no, even with terms that squishy, the Fox News article that I'm quoting didn't tell us about the Gen Z Bible use or the millennial scripture engagement, how that was doing. And look, it's hard to take this shit seriously. It's hard to take Joe Rogan seriously. Martian Cecil tried to do it every week over on the No Rogan podcast. They barely manage and they're fucking professionals. But this nothing ass story about Rogan attending church is a sign of something that should scare the hell out of us. Christianity, the

most homophobic, regressive, sexist kind of Christianity is consolidating power. And if you want to know what religion does when it has power, just look at literally any point in history where that was the case. Joining me for headlines tonight are the left and right flippers to my plunger Heath Enright and Eli Bosnik. Fellas, are you ready to bounce a few things around? Okay, I was imagining some kind of Hell Manatee for so long before I realized you were talking about pinball and evolution.

Oh yeah, I could have mentioned it. And the Hell Manatee had a clogged toilet apparently. Yeah! It was having a plunger. But yeah, pinball podcast action go. Sorry, when I'm chasing April Poff's high scores, it's all I'm thinking about. Apparently, we're having a plunger. Pinball podcast action. Go. Sorry. When I'm chasing April Poff's high scores, it's all I'm thinking about.

And of course, I need to take a second here to tell you about Matri on one last time. This is the time of year when we ask you extra hard for money. Just like that. Look, if we were in this thing for the money, we'd have turned crypto bro douchebag long ago.

Eli keeps pitching that at every third company meeting. In fact, he shows up with a list of the fewest people we would need to start hating to be millionaires. Looking at you, Phoenicians. But you can help keep those plans on the shelf by pledging or increasing your pledge at patreon.com slash scathing atheist. There are only a couple of days left in May, so this is your last chance to get in on the shelf by pledging or increasing your pledge at patreon.com says scathing atheist there are only a couple of days left in may so this is your last chance to get in on the action unless you want to donate us money in june which you can also do

and speaking of how we pay the bills it's time for a word from this week's first sponsor stamps.com dude you have to come out of there i said when we're done yeah Yeah, when we're done. Hey, Eli, why is Heath locked in his room? Did you say that all the FIFA games are the same again? No, no. I was hoping for some more flexibility in my workday, so I grabbed the cloning machine from Citation Needed.

But before I could use it, Heath stole it and locked himself in his room with all of the clones. A lot of differences between the FIFAs. Exactly. I see. Well, Eli, if you want more flexibility in your workday, why don't you just try Stamps.com? What Stamps.com? Okay, okay, that was a clone, but I still would like the point, please. Well, you can't have it. Stamps.com handles all your mailing and shipping needs wherever, whenever. Stamps.com lets you seamlessly connect with every major marketplace and shopping cart if you sell products online. And you can access all the USPS and UPS services

you need to run your business right from your computer or phone anytime, day or night. No lines, no traffic, no waiting. Wow. That sounds amazing. It is. Plus with Stamps.com, you'll get rates you won't see anywhere else, like up to 88% off USPS and UPS. All right, Noah, I'm sold. Where do I sign up? Have more flexibility in your life with stamps.com. Sign up at stamps.com slash scathing for a special offer

that includes a four week trial plus free postage and a free digital scale. No longterm commitments or contracts. Just go to stamps.com slash scathing. All right, Noah, thanks. Hey, you hear that, Eath? I don't need your clones anyway. Whatever, we're playing smash in here.

Dibs Kirby! No, I dibs Kirby I dibs Kirby. It's gonna they're gonna be in there for a while. Oh, yeah See they're murdering well, that'll shorten it we can both play Kirby And Now back to the headlines in our lead tonight, in no news is good news news. We have news about the state of American public schools. The Supreme Court has a docket full of cases about honoring, you know, the amazing human rights culture of 1798 and stuff like that.

So it continued its lightning round of deciding extremely important legal stuff last week with a ruling about St. Isidore of Seville Catholic Virtual School. They applied to be a charter school in Oklahoma that gets public funding, but they got denied. The Oklahoma Supreme Court ruled that you can't fund a religious school with taxpayer money because laws. And in what sounds like good news for the separation of church and state, the US Supreme

Court landed on a 4-4 deadlock. And, yeah, well, therefore the previous ruling gets upheld. So if there's any good news, it's the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment continuing to exist. Just barely, at least for now. And we're done with the good news. So maybe a little chant before I move on? You want to do a chant?

Oh, fuck yeah. Just barely, at least for now. Just barely, at least for now. Just barely, at least for now. The triplets would make that hard to sync up. Yeah, we got it. The triplets, yeah. And thanks to Redbeard for sending us the link to skatingnews at gmail.com.

You get a fucking cookie or whatever. Okay. So here's what else is true. I like that this is someone's first episode. Listen, yeah. Thank you for sending it. We're mad about this. It's like, Hailed is good news.

I don't really think it is. Here's what else is true Here's why I don't think it's actually good news The 4-4 deadlock was only possible because Amy Coney Barrett recused herself from the case St. Isidore is represented by the Notre Dame Law School where Barrett was a professor But if a similar case pops up without any connection to the conservative majority Honestly, or with a connection. Nothing is real anymore.

I don't know. It's almost certain we'll get a new precedent. The tiny remaining shred of the establishment clause would be gone and states would have to fund overtly religious charter schools that have ghost magic and biology class because having a curriculum is persecution against religion yeah well they decided that last month with Mahmoud versus Taylor but hey maybe Amy Coney Barrett's commitment to secularism kidding yeah this period of Supreme Court precedent is gonna be like waking up to apologize for your

drunk texts the generation generation. Right? Just like, hey Steve, I don't think your husband is a bitch. I don't know why I said that. So yeah, fuck you red beard. We're mad about this. Yeah, having a curriculum, it's already persecution against religion apparently. But there's not a case exactly like St. Isidore moving through the lower courts at the moment. So in terms of public Catholic charter schools and the establishment clause, we might get

another year or two of just barely at least for now before the issue hits the Supreme Court again. But we did get a big, beautiful new bill last week passed by the House that would provide about $5 billion for the first ever federal private school voucher program. Instead of using public schools, approximately 80 to 90% of parents in the country could get a check to use for tuition at a private school instead. Just for context, about 75% of private schools in the country are religious, and about half of those are Catholic. Right, and it's worth noting that previous voucher programs were mostly dedicated to

kids with special needs, so we're replacing the funding for blind kids with parents who are just morally blind in case you're wondering where we're going with this. That's about right. Right. So instead of getting taxpayer money by applying to be a public-ish charter school, a program like St. Isidore could get taxpayer money by doing nothing. Yep. They'd have all the freedom of a private school like bigotry and hiring and bigotry and picking

students and bigotry and hiring and bigotry and picking students and bigotry and curriculum, but with public funding, it'd be perfect for them. State voucher programs have been doing that since the Supreme Court gave the okay in 2002. And then our current Trump-laden theocracy court backed it up and expanded it by requiring that state voucher programs pay for religion in 2020 and 2022. Apparently, public funding doesn't count as public funding because the government hands the public funding to the parents and then, I don't know, something magical happens, no peeking, and then the public money is in a private religious bank account all of a sudden. So that's going to be nationwide when the big beautiful bill becomes official. Yeah, it's not super clear where the distinction is now, but don't worry.

It'll come into focus the second a Muslim school wants in. Yeah, confusing for them. And before you get too excited, the private school voucher program that gives money to religion, it's not quite as amazing as I've been making it sound. No! Yeah, the five billion dollars would come in the form of tax loopholes mostly for rich people. Anyone who makes a charitable donation to a voucher provider called a scholarship granting organization would get a dollar for dollar tax credit.

Oh wow. Yeah, so people could donate money. No, it's million actually. Yeah, no, it's fucking smart of them to do their evil. Yeah, evil, yeah. Yeah. Right. People could donate money and pay

exactly that much less in federal taxes. Also known as the money that might pay for a public school system That's what federal taxes often get used for and you know who loves giving money to private religious schools instead of paying taxes Who's that rich Christian people? Yep. Yeah, right exactly. They know this system does all the Excluding Muslim work on its own pretty much. Yeah for a second I was worried someone who isn't rich might like accidentally benefit from this program, but no, no, they make sure that's not the case. No.

Okay. But wait, it's not as great as I've been making it sound. No, not. No. The big, beautiful bill would allow people to donate stocks instead of money if they want. And still get the same tax credit, but also avoid paying capital gains tax on the profit from the stocks. They'd get the full current value of the stocks removed from their tax bill and not pay the capital gains.

So the donations would actually be a personal profit for those people. And on top of the $5 billion a year that never gets collected by the IRS, there's approximately $220 million more in capital gains avoidance every year. That's the estimate. Well, I know that sounds bad, but don't worry. I'm sure my brother-in-law will explain that lower taxes for millionaires and higher prices for consumers is what he was voting for actually. Sounds like he should donate some of his stock.

Yeah, because he's got a serious portfolio. So, bottom line, the overall effect of this federal voucher plan is a giant oversized check for about $5.22 billion written to private schools, the vast majority of those being religious private schools, and a profit for the people who donate. And that all happens at the expense of public schools and everything else we might want to do with public money and of course the expense of the separation of church and state as a fucking concept. Right.

And special needs kids who need those vouchers to go to special needs schools. Exactly. Gay people who want to work at those schools. Gay children. Yeah, go to those schools. Fuck you, red beard. And in what the heck's F news. I'll admit, given the amendments to the Constitution that the Trump administration is actively and

openly trying to revoke, complaining about them violating the First Amendment, that little old separation of church and state, it seems rather quaint. But we're nothing if not nitpicky about theocracy here on The Scathing Atheist, so let's talk about the wildly illegal Christian prayer service Pete Hegseth hosted at the Pentagon this week. Lord, show me a signal. Jesus looks down, he's like, who the fuck added me to this prayer chain?

It's with all the fucking emojis. Who's this Jewish guy in here? Atlantic? So first off, big thanks to Garrett and Jamie who sent us this story in the same Minute over scathing news at gmail.com Garrett Jamie I can only assume that you are childhood best friends and each week you find the best atheist news to send us to scathing news At gmail.com get out of the bunk beds you share and then send us your simultaneous best wishes And I just want to say I think that's great you too scathing news at gmail.com Get out of the bunk beds you share and then send us your simultaneous best wishes.

And I just want to say, I think that's great, you two. Scathingnews at gmail.com. Yeah. And congrats to whichever one of you side tackled the other, threw their phone out the window and sent the email first. Well done. That's right. We may never know.

We may never know. So if you've been following along, Pete Hegseth is a former Fox News talking head who Donald Trump made the Secretary of Defense. Fox News Weekend. Yeah, that's what I get carried away. Not mainstream. Don't overstate it. And he's been doing such a bad job that the only person he can now be trusted to communicate

with is God. So he's getting right on that, hosting a prayer service with a sermon from his hometown pastor who, surprise, surprise, was there to tell everybody that he and his administration were quote, sovereignly appointed. As He as a nation at this moment in prayer, on bended knee, recognizing the providence of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. This is something we plan to do on a monthly basis, on a volunteer basis, here in the auditorium. on a volunteer basis here in the auditorium. I hope you'll let those you work with know about it."

Yeah. End exact quote. And then somebody new was like, Hi Pete, here's your zero day chip. This is not a meeting. It's an intervention and it ran away. Look, as loathe as I am to admit it, the time Hankseth spends on his knees mumbling to his imagination about salvation is the only time where he's not like an active threat to national security,

right? Plus the lower he is, the less his vomit's going to splatter when it eventually comes back up. So I feel like we should be encouraging this. That's true. He could gently lower it out of his mouth in a pile. And if you're thinking- Just patting him on the back.

A little bit left. And if you're thinking to yourself, wait a second Eli, isn't that wildly illegal? Well, he does it. Yeah press secretary for the Pentagon Kingsley Wilson has an answer for you quote The office of the Secretary of Defense invited DOD personnel to attend a voluntary Christian prayer and worship service this morning to attend a voluntary Christian prayer and worship service this morning. Many different faiths have a regular services in the Pentagon Chapel or elsewhere in the Pentagon. Hey bud, you okay? You okay having your job?

This service was an opportunity for believers to appeal to heaven on behalf of our great nation. And it's war fighters. War fighters. You gotta stop saying war fighters. War fighters. You gotta stop saying war fighters. If you're not in a foxhole fighting Tren de Aragua in Venezuela, there's not a war. Beseeching the Almighty has been an American tradition since George Washington prayed for our cause at Valley Forge. The United States was then and remains now one nation under God.

It's weird that they keep emphasizing how many nations it is. Of course it's one fucking nation. At this time, OSD envisions these prayer and worship services will be a monthly occurrence. Any participating civilian clergy are responsible for their own travel and accommodation. Expenditures and quote. Oh, in that case. All right, everybody, let's bow our heads before God. Would where prohibited terms and conditions apply.

See, we're not paying the clergy to coerce civilian employees into religious practice, so it doesn't count. Exactly. And I will point out that CNN has pointed out that this ceremony is actually wildly different in a lot of ways from the usual hosted religious events, saying, quote, while the Pentagon offers routine religious accommodations and services to personnel of different faiths, none of them are broadcast live internally, held in the auditorium or hosted by the secretary. And none of them are advertised like the service

held on Wednesday morning, the Pentagon sent an email to DOD employees reviewed by CNN encouraging employees to attend in person, and to RSVP to a dedicated internal email address for the prayer service. A brochure entitled, Secretary of Defense Christian Prayer and Worship Service with details of the service was also handed out to employees as they entered the room and the front page of the brochure featured the seal of the Department of Defense. Oh my fucking God! But don't worry, they didn't pay the guy who designed the pamphlet from public funds.

They stiffed him. Yeah. There's a stack of Starbucks gift cards. They might've taken one, but we didn't say they should definitely take one. We those are just there. Yeah. And look, that all sounds a lot more explicit than, I don't know, an acknowledgement of Christmas or a Christian memorial ceremony might be worth keeping an

eye on. Or at the very least, when Trump is out of office and Christians start screaming oppression because the Democrat who replaces him stops this tradition, we can remind them that it was started by a guy who couldn't stop drunk dialing reporters our war plans. I'm not saying it's going to change anything when we do that, but it's worth remembering. You know? Yeah. And speaking of desperately needing help, it's time for a word from our other sponsor

this week, BetterHelp. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. All right, Eli. I'm off to go buy that milk that you asked me to get. Getting milk. Yes, Heath. Make sure you go to the far grocery store. Oh, I will. The very far one.

Hey guys, why are you shouting narrative in here? Are you trying to establish an alibi using the podcast again? Okay, first of all, that worked great the first time. And second of all, no, Heath is going to therapy. And he's a little nervous about being seen there. Yeah, yeah, be cool. Why would anyone be nervous about that? Look, Noah, mental health awareness is growing, but there's still progress to be made. 26% of Americans who participated in a recent survey

say they've avoided seeking mental health support due to fear of judgment. When people hesitate to get help, it doesn't just affect them. It impacts families, workplaces, and entire communities. Well, I definitely agree with that, Eli, but why doesn't he just try BetterHelp? Wait, what's BetterHelp?

Wait, wait, wait, are you Heath or did the clone win the eventual fight to the death in the last ad? It actually doesn't matter. It matters to me, Noah. BetterHelp has over 10 years of experience matching people with the right therapist from their diverse network of more than 30,000 licensed therapists with a wide range of specialties. Plus, BetterHelp is fully online, making therapy affordable

and convenient, serving over 5 million people worldwide. That sounds amazing. It is. And with BetterHelp, you can easily switch therapists anytime at no extra cost. So no awkward therapist breakups? No awkward therapist breakups. We're all better with help. Visit betterhelp.com.comathing to get 10% off your first month. That's better help H-e-l-p dot com slash scathing. All right. Thanks. I guess I'll see you guys later. I'm headed to therapy Nice. Hey, will you actually get milk though while you're out from from the good store? That's far Yeah, would you mind the big good start? Yeah Nice And Yeah, would you mind the pick-up star? Yeah, no problem. Nice.

And in grock of shit news, Congressional Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene got into a Twitter fight with a racist chatbot this week about the validity of her Christian beliefs. And honestly, if this is how the robot uprising begins, we are here for it. OK, and a racist chat bot is trained on pretty much exactly MTG. Right. So it's like Agent Smith against Neo-Nazi doing all the same moves, not being able to get any punches in. OK, but let's be fair to MTG here. Of all the machines that she's had protracted arguments with,

this is the least stupid, right? It's true. It is true. So first off, big thanks to Jonathan for being the very first of oh so many of you to send us this story to scathingnews at gmail.com. When I opened our inbox and saw that more than 20 of you emailed us this exact same story, I felt seen, I felt understood. And for that, I thank you. Scalingnews.gmail.com.

It's always a great feeling. It's always like, wait, where you just look at that, you go like, oh, what if, what if it's gonna be the lead story? Oh, you know what? Never mind. It's this one. It's this one right here. So to the story, listeners are probably already familiar with Marjorie Taylor Greene. If Donald Trump is the Black Plague, she is his ring around the rosy. And when she's not embarrassing herself by doing pull-ups like she's trying to liberate the chin-up bar from slavery, she's making fights with reality. That machine Noah's talking about, the protracted argument, it's the cattle pride. That was the one.

That was the one. It's attached to that pull-up bar she's got. For those unfamiliar, Grok is a wildly unreliable chat GPT rip-off that occasionally diverts from the conversation to white genocide in South Africa because Elon is the king mitis of racism. Okay, so clearly written by chat GPT throwing shade at GROK. Okay, so to be clear, chat GPT is already the next least reliable thing after my mom's inbox, right?

So an unreliable version of that is basically the brother in the riddles that never tells the truth. Exactly. Yeah. But with all that said, Grok also serves as a kind of fact checker on Twitter these days, albeit a terrible one. It's become a bit of a meme to tag the chat bot in response to batshit posts using at Grok Is This True? Which is exactly what a user did on one of MTG's posts

about her faith this week. And alas for poor Grok, anything that has to string words together into a sentence will eventually be forced to admit that Marjorie Taylor Greene is a lying psychopath. Okay, I asked Grok if she's a lying psychopath and it listed a whole bunch of lies and then it said, psychopath is a little harder to pin down. Well, if it had added because she keeps thrashing, I'd have gotten back on Twitter. That's how they would have won you back.

Yeah. So the bot responded, quote, Marjorie Taylor Greene identifies as a Christian expressing faith in Jesus and traditional beliefs like in her 2021 Christmas message. However, her Christian nationalism and support for conspiracy theories like QAnon sparked debate. Critics, including religious leaders, argue her actions contradict Christian values of love and unity, citing her defense of January 6th and divisive rhetoric. Also apparently her 2022 through 2024 Christmas messages.

Yeah, right. Obviously. Didn't want to touch those. Supporters may see her stances as faith-driven. Whether she's really a Christian is subjective. Depending on personal and theological views. Her faith appears genuine to her, but public actions create controversy." Okay, I asked ChatGPT if Grok is a good AI chatbot because I was just curious. It gave

some pros and cons about Grok, mostly cons, and then it said, in May 2024, Grok responded to Marjorie Taylor Gre Green with a sarcastic comment questioning her Christian values, which she publicly criticized. This is an example of how its tone can create controversy. So lying by a whole year isn't great, but impressively apt with its example that I was reading about at the moment. Well, so, and then, so I saw this in your in your notes Heath and I asked Grok if chat GPT was a good AI chatbot and it told me that chat GPT killed a bunch of white

farmers in South Africa. And I asked a bunch of oppressed white farmers in South Africa but they weren't real. So we hit that's how we hit the bottom. Now MTG wasn't about to take backtalk from some robert. So she quote tweeted the chat bot saying at crock, the judgment seat belongs to God, not you a non human AI platform. Grock is a left leaning and continues to spread and continues to spread fake news and propaganda. When people give up their own discernment, stop seeking the truth and depend on AI to analyze information, they will be lost." Okay, I feel like she's about to swat the chatbot and I'm all for it because that swat's

going to what? I mean, Musk's headquarters. I'm not a huge fan of Grok or chat GPT or whatever, but it would have corrected you on the gazpacho police. So yeah, MTG is currently losing a Twitter fight to a robot explicitly designed to support her worldview and it's the least harmful thing she's done all year. So if we can trick her into somehow signing up for chat with Jesus.app, we might be able to keep her busy for the rest of the election cycle.

Oh, there you go. And finally tonight, in we're putting cover sheets on all the TDS reports from now on news. Two members of US Congress are sponsoring a new bill that would direct the National Institutes of Health to investigate the very serious medical condition known as Trump Derangement Syndrome or TDS. Those members of Congress are Republican by the way. So the cover sheets I was talking about have the eye holes cut out and

they want scientific research at the federal level in order to figure out the elusive scientific explanation for People hate Donald Trump because he's a piece of shit Okay, I know this is just them like trolling or whatever they call it, but you have to admit Okay, I know this is just them like trolling or whatever they call it, but you have to admit We're gonna find out why people don't like us by sabotaging an essential public service via time-wasting political showmanship It's a hell of a metaphor for the times ain't it? Yeah And we should at least still acknowledge the irony of looking at people who refuse to vote for a convicted felon rapist idiot

Who can't tell those letters on the dude's knuckles were photoshopped and going, I think they're deranged. They seem deranged to me. All right. And a big thanks to Jessica for sending the link to scathingnews at gmail.com. Jessica gets to pick one item from the mystery box. Good luck, Jessica. Choose Y.

Or zero. You can pick zero if you want. That was threatening the way you said that. What's that, Jessica? The door is locked. It looks like you'll be choosing an item after all.

OK, so the bill is called the Trump Derangement Syndrome Research Act of 2025, and the two sponsors are Warren Davidson of Ohio and Barry Moore of 2025. And the two sponsors are Warren Davidson of Ohio and Barry Moore of Alabama. According to Davidson, quote, TDS has divided families, the country, and led to nationwide violence, including two assassination attempts on President Trump. The TDS Research Act would require the NIH to study this toxic state of mind so we can understand

the root cause and identify solutions." You just said the solution, man. We tried it twice. Here's the main bullet points, speaking of which of the bill. Investigate TDS's origins and contributing factors, including the media's role in amplifying the spread of TDS, analyze its long-term impacts on individuals, communities, and public discourse, explore interventions to mitigate extreme behaviors, informing strategies for a healthier public square.

Okay, I'm just going to echo Eli's solution right there. Thank you. And provide data driven insights into how media and polarization shape political violence and social unrest. Again, guys, I know you're doing like a bit or whatever, but that last one is not going to turn out the way you're hoping. Yeah, right. Well, like, look, I would love it if our media could get on shaping some fucking social unrest and political violence, to be honest, and anything that you can give us the fucking roadmap for it. That'd be awesome.

Yes. So, of course, the bill would also require an annual report to Congress about all the amazing data-driven science about TDS. But this is very important to them. There's no additional spending. The TDS task force would only use existing NIH funding. Translation take money away from actual medical science to figure out the chemistry of hating Donald Trump.

Wow. And Warren Davidson did explain exactly what he means by that. He said, quote, instead of funding ludicrous studies such as giving methamphetamine to cats or teaching monkeys to gamble for their drinking water, the NIH should use that funding to research issues that are relevant, the NIH should use that funding to research issues that are relevant to the real world. Okay, everything science does that I don't understand is a silly waste of money is a tried and true Republican take, but and I want in is a new angle on that. I'm sitting here for 20 minutes

staring at that quote in the notes and trying to think of a way to humorously exaggerate how bad his understanding of science is here. And I'm at a loss. He already did it. Right? Like other than saying, like if he said maybe like, I don't see why the beakers get all the good Kool-Aid when I'm the thirstiest. I don't know how you get it wrong. Or than that. Duh! And just to be clear about those insane sounding examples,

reasonable, the gambling monkey study was conducted at Johns Hopkins and it gave us a better understanding about the prefrontal cortex of the brain and how it regulates our ability to make decisions that involve risk. Also, we did give meth to cats, and it was fucking awesome. So I mean, not for the cats in the long run, I guess, but at first, I'm sure those cats had a great time. And we learned about the progression of HIV by studying the feline version. Apparently somebody was like, help treat AIDS with meth?

Or probably something smart in that. I don't know. Either way, it turns out meth does not help with that. And now we know. Yeah, it's almost like the short money bet against intellectualism that the right has been making for the past four decades has now yielded fucking stupid people. Yeah.

So... Yeah, well, I mean, I guess in a roundabout way, Davidson's right that studies of the frontal lobe don't relate to him in any way. Yeah. Appendix neither. So yeah, we do all kinds of scientific studies that sound crazy out of context, but they often lead to useful knowledge. And that's why we need to take back power in this country and put together a scientific

panel to study derangement syndrome syndrome. So like if neo-Nazis are going to be taking all this meth anyway, let's get them locked in a lab where it's safer for everybody. Won't blow their eyebrows off. And let's really learn something for science. We'll build some mazes, obstacle courses, escape rooms with no answer. It's a great reality show too, and that would pay for itself, right? I would watch.

Cult survivor. And while I work on my pitch for an alternative solution where we just give them all cat aids, we're going to wrap the headlines for the night. Heath, Eli, thanks as always. Jumanji. And when we come back, we'll find out if you can play Taps with Duck Calls. Hey, podcast listener. Well, here we are. Our final plug for Matriion. We've had a lot of fun begging you for money this month in a variety of ways. Guilt, aggression, that thing we did about pay pigs. But here at the end, we just want to take a moment to genuinely thank you.

It's tough out there for a lot of folks. And the fact that so many of you have not only kept us in your budget, but added to it for our silly little fundraiser makes us feel incredibly, incredibly lucky. Incredibly indeed. And if just a few more of you could do that so I could get my secular-tacular. Heath, we're doing heartfelt. We're doing heartfelt. We're just so close to the sect-tacular. I know. Anyway, it's thanks to folks like you that we can afford to do what we love for a living, and we are so grateful.

Yes, we are. Matrion.com. Just pop in there real quick. Heath! We love for a living and we are so grateful. Yes we are. Matrion.com. Just pop in there real quick. He's sorry. Sorry. The heartfelt. Yep.

We talked in last week's Diatribe about how tragic death can be. So this week I thought I'd offer a counterpoint. Because death gets a bad rap when it comes for our friends and our pets and our family, but sometimes it comes for Phil Robertson. And at those points, I kind of want to buy it a drink, but I can't. So instead, I'm going to admire Ed's accomplishments in a somehow new segment that we call the... Son of Obituary. Okay, last July I was like, shot, shot, shot, shot.

But then it was disappointing. Drank him up myself. To be fair, that's what he does most Tuesdays, but he was excited on that one. Well, at first, yeah. Wanted to get around for death. Now, granted, of all the evangelical Christian nemeses of this show named Robertson who died this one is still my second favorite

But that's not to say it wasn't an awesome and long overdue death Phil Robertson is a man mostly known for facial moss and for hunting an animal so trusting you could probably hunt it with a hand Axe if you had the patience But he's also a raging homophobe, a flagrant racist, and a man whose entire existence is a cynical lie that turned ignorance into money. Okay, that last sentence, it's at the top of the son of a bituary template that we have. It kind of works well every time. It does, yeah.

Yeah, keep it in. So, Robertson was born in 1946 in Vivian, Louisiana, a series of crossroads north of Shreveport. He grew up poor, according to his Wikipedia page, quote, a series of crossroads north of Shreveport. He grew up poor, according to his Wikipedia page, quote, during his childhood, the family lived in rugged conditions. Have you saw you can't read this sentence in any other accent. So I have to obviously. Yeah, no, of course. Yeah. During his childhood, the family lived in rugged conditions, having no electricity, toilet or bathtub. The family rarely went into town to buy groceries and

instead lived off of the fruits and vegetables they grew in their garden, the meat from the deer, squirrel, fish and other game they hunted and fished, and the pigs, chicken and cattle they raised, adding quote, satation needed. Because fuck off. I mean, like, you know, I don't doubt that the guy grew up poor without a toilet or whatever, but something tells me that more of their calories were coming from government subsidies than the squirrels that he hunted with his fucking pellet gun Most of the knowing on bootstraps Right and even if this stupid myth was true, it's a bad myth

Yeah, we want people to have government cheese. Yes, even when they grow up to be Phil Robertson and that's saying a lot Maybe they wouldn't grow up to be Phil Robertson if they had enough government cheese. But regardless, I think we're means testing the cheese a little too hard. Right, right. Exactly. But regardless, all that government cheese and squirrel meat must have bulked him up okay because Robertson was quite the athlete in high school. He was all state in football, baseball and track.

And he was apparently good enough at football to earn himself a scholarship to Louisiana Tech, where he played first string quarterback ahead of future Hall of Famer Terry Bradshaw. Not because he was better at football, by the way. Bradshaw would go on to be the first pick in the 1970 draft. He would win four Super Bowls, three Super Bowl MVPs, two league MVPs, make the hall of fame on the first ballot, star in movies and become one of the most beloved broadcasters in the history of sport. Robertson would mostly kill ducks. In fact, Bradshaw was so goddamn much better than Robertson that in his final year at Louisiana

Tech, Robertson quote, chose not to play and quote, okay, the sport that he came there on a scholarship to play, end quote. Okay. The sport that he came there on a scholarship to play. Phil, I don't want to brag, but I actually chose not to play sports all four years of college. That's how good I was, so. Right, right. And look, I don't want to harp on the football thing too much,

but his college stats are fucking hilarious. So I have to add those. In the two seasons that he started, he completed 179 of 411 attempts for 2237 yards. Not great. That's a completion rate of 44%. If you don't know football, that's real bad, but that's like nowhere near his worst head.

He threw 12 touchdowns in two full fucking seasons and 34 interceptions. Ooh, some extra completions in there. That's cool. Yeah, that's right. Those aren't extra completions in there. That's cool. Yeah. That's right. Those aren't even getting counted in his percentage. But immediately after admitting those abysmal stats, his Wikipedia article goes on to claim,

quote, it was thought that Robertson had the potential for a pro career, but Robertson was more into hunting. And you can think anything you want. He did an interview about his football, and he said his passes were Too good and it led to a bunch of the interceptions He was like yeah ball hit the receiver right in the fucking face And then it would probably pop straight up and fall into the hands of defenders I don't remember exactly was probably like that and you know I guess with ducks and guns you don't have to lead them as far

Well the problem with receivers is that they're not minding their own business right Sissy throw like Terry Bradshaw But despite his lackluster football career his time in college wasn't wasted Robertson came away with a bachelor's degree in physical education and a master's in education They used those degrees to teach for a couple of years, which seems fucking hilarious. I know he probably looked different then, but I'm just picturing duck dynasty. Phil Robertson is a gym teacher just yelling problematic folksy aphorisms to kids running around a track.

I mean, that sounds like every gym teacher I ever had. He's got a duck call instead of a whistle. He's like, whack, whack. All right, bringing in everybody, taking me, taking me. Stop laughing at me. But not both. So yeah, okay, so, but that does bring us to the duck calls. Now by all accounts, Robertson was a hunting nut throughout his life.

Terry Bradshaw talked about him showing up to football practice straight from the woods with quote, squirrel tails hanging out of his pockets duck feathers on his clothes adding quote clearly he was a fine shot so nobody complained and so anyway so Phil would go on to fail as a gym teacher then as a commercial fisherman then as a bar manager as a bar manager yeah I guess throwing bottles hitting bartenders right in the face. Yeah, right, yeah, but they-

Interceptions? Yeah, customers kept getting them or whatever. But all the while, he was apparently fixated on the inferior quality of high-end duck calls at the time. He was sick and tired of getting outsmarted by ducks, so he started experimenting with improvements on the existing design. Dweck, Is that a thing?

Now, the end result of this tinkering was something that he would spend the rest of his life calling the Duck Commander with a straight face. One of the straightest of all the faces in the history of faces, in fact, he would go on to patent his Duck Commander in 1973, and it quickly blossomed into a multimillion dollar business, because apparently Duck murder is the kind of hobby some people spend millions of dollars on Which I find disturbing even knowing what a shifty bunch of motherfuckers ducks are. Okay, what was the existing?

technology that he improved on like slide whistles He did whack like you guys it was like a million dollar company all of a sudden. Yeah. Yeah. So Robertson and his long suffering wife, Marcia Miss K. Robertson, would go on to have five kids. But the main ones were Jason Willey. For reals, according to his Wikipedia summary under kids, under children, it says, quote, five, including Jason Willey. Rough. It also has a section for relatives that does not list the other three kids. I don't know why

like, if he was my dad, I'd rather not be named in his Wiki as well. So I don't know if it was the kids getting snubbed or him getting snubbed here, but somebody got snubbed. Yeah, no, you could just go ahead and put me under et cetera. Dad, it seems like that's right. Yeah, all of us anyway, so with the help of his sons, he's making millions of dollars selling bottled quacks when along comes A&E. Now this is the 2010s when cable television was at the peak of its let's stare

at these weird problematic Christians and call it entertainment phase. The Duggars were dominating the airwaves and American audiences just couldn't get enough regressive political views being forced onto families by wildly unethical patriarchs. So Duck Dynasty was born. Okay. Well, the Duggar family could have used a few whistles. That's for sure. Oh, God. Yeah.

Also, no, I know you're weaving a word picture, but I'd argue 2010 was not actually the peak of America bearing witness to horrifying Christian values. No. Again, I hate to interrupt. No, it's the end of us calling it entertainment. We call it news now. But you know what? Retracted.

Retracted. I interrupt for no reason. Now full disclosure here. I've never watched an episode of Duck Dynasty or any of the let's get all up in some other motherfuckers business style of reality shows to be honest. And according to TV critics, Duck Dynasty was actually fairly good by whatever standard one Measures shows like that by so I'm not going to comment on the show itself, but what Robertson did with his fame was unambiguously Bad, so I am gonna comment on that okay. I also never watched duck dynasty. I would like to comment. It was stupid

Whack, whack, blam! End of show. That's the show. But it's actually worse than that. Somebody was like, hey, Phil, after the quack, quack, blam, talk about your political philosophy. So it was worse than quack, quack, blam. Okay. Well, I have watched Duck Dynasty and yeah, Heath nailed it. I was the lucky guy. Yeah, he did. Alright. He did nail it. I mean, he was a lucky guy.

Yeah, he did. All right. He did nail it. Sometimes he got mad at Jace. That was pretty funny. Yeah. So, Robertson is, of course, an outspoken evangelical Christian and a Republican. He vehemently opposes abortion on the grounds that it violates the Declaration of Independence.

What? Which isn't even a thing you can violate. Okay, I mean, we have about a million documented abortions a year in the US. Like, maybe we need to do more if we want to get back into the UK? I don't know, I'm all for trying. Yeah, right, Brentrance, yeah.

But in 2013, he endorsed some local nobody-ass congressional candidate who then went on to beat the front runner. And based on his ability to swing a primary in Louisiana's fifth congressional district, he decided to try his hand at national politics. In 2016, he endorsed Ted Cruz for president. When Cruz dropped out after briefly considering his own presidential run, he somehow did something

worse than him running or endorsing Ted Cruz by throwing his support behind Donald Trump. A year later, he would endorse child molester Roy Moore in the Alabama runoff election for Senate. Yeah. It turns out he's a big fan of dog whistles as well. Yeah. Right. It's got a patent on one of those.

Now. So he, he, no, that's good. He made his first appearance on this show. Hey buddy. As early as episode 45, when he did an interview with GQ magazine, where he offered up his thoughts on the gays. When asked what he thought was sinful, Robertson responded. That was the only prop they gave him. What's sinful?

Robertson responded, quote, Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Beastiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men." He then explained that homosexuality didn't make sense because the vagina is more appealing to men. What? That's not even true about hetero men. So stupid. Okay, wait. So the order of operations in his head is dudes, animals, women, women, women, more dudes? That's a weird pattern, Phil. Well, I think maybe he's, yeah, exactly, telling us more than he meant to.

Now, these comments were picked up on by news outlets, far bigger than the scathing atheist, and Robertson first tried to respond to the direct proof of him treating people with disrespect just because they're different than him by saying, quote, I would never treat anyone with disrespect just because they are different than me, end quote. But that wasn't enough for the woke mob.

And amid the backlash, A&E announced that they were going to suspend him from the show. But apparently the front lash was even worse because before another episode could be shot, A&E reversed their decision and they caved. I get it though, because like I remember when they stopped filming honey boo-boo because the mom got convicted of child abuse I was like, yeah, what are you guys watching? Yeah Yeah, so okay so he made it under our show again on episode 69 when he announced the release of his own Nice neck Bible right which completely ignored 30 seconds of solid editorial suggestions from Heath and myself. Okay. Thank you I thought a pop-up book for Sodom and Gomorrah was a fantastic idea. It was beyond fantastic

Oh, so he also showed up again on episode 82 when he threatened to murder ISIS now That was an appearance mostly noteworthy for being the time when Heath first christened him ZZ bottom He does look like that. He showed up again on, that's such a good one, he showed up again in episode 90 when he got in on the trans bathroom debate and then again on episode 110 when he spent a CPAC speech fantasizing about the rape, torture, decapitation, and castration of an atheist's family in a belabored effort to make a point about objective morals. Yeah, I'd say it's a stretch that you need to use torture demons to make your point, but in Phil's case, torture demons are the point, so it feels weird to...

Sure were. Now, as you may suspect, based on the fact that I've already got five references in the pre-Eli era of the show, we don't have time to go over every appearance he's made on the Scathing Atheist, but suffice to say that none of them have ever been good. Wait, me or Phil? Phil. There was never a point where Phil saved a bunch of drowning puppies or anything.

He pretty much exclusively used his fame to promote homophobia, transphobia, misogyny, and stupidity. He was a miserable piece of shit, and he was an insult to people who quack. Okay, hot take. It's not even a good duck whistle. Like, I've heard it. If I'm a duck, there's no way I'm fucking that weird voice duck

right next to the lawn nomen camo. That's crazy. Maybe it's like a Jennifer Tilly thing for the ducks, because if it is, I fucking get it, ducks. You know what I'm saying? Command me any day. Okay, withdrawn. All right.

But the good news is that last year his son revealed that he was in the early stages of Alzheimer's as well as having a number of other health problems. How could they tell? Right. I think there's a blood test now. And last Sunday, he died at the age of 79. Now, the cause of death has not been revealed as of the time of this writing. So however unlikely it is, there's still at least some possibility that ultimately the

Ducks got their revenge. All right. Well, let's have a moment of silence for Phil. Duck your face. Absolutely not. Yeah, we did it. Now of course, Phil Robertson's life couldn't end without one final fuck you to an atheist, which came in the form of having a name that's nearly impossible to search for in a database full

of references to Pat Robertson and Tim Robertson. But goddamn it, he made up for it with his involvement of one of my proudest accomplishments of all time. When I sent Heath and Eli the text about wanting to do this segment this week, my auto-correct tried to change Duck to Fuck, which is a vulgarians equivalent of when your step kid finally calls you Dad. Love you, Kai. And Mad. Yeah, here's hoping that Donald Trump will serve a prominent role in the next... SON OF A BITUARY Before we spool the reel back tonight, I want to remind you that you're running out of time to get your donation in time for it to count for Maytreon. Only a few more days of May left, so be sure to check out Maytreon.com for all the details or just increase your pledge or start a new pledge at patreon.com slash scathingathing atheist anyway that's all the blasphemy we've got for you tonight we'll

be back in 10,022 minutes with more if you can't wait that long we look out for a brand new episode of our sister show the skeptic right to be at 7 o'clock eastern on Monday and even know a person of our sister shows hot friend got off a movie's debuting at 7 eastern on Tuesday and even newer person of our half sister of citation needed debuting at noon eastern on Wednesday obviously I need to thank Heath for being awesome Lucinda for being on inspiring Eli for being audible sorry, when he first started he was talking to the wrong end of his microphone, so I like to compliment all of the ways that he's improved. I also want to thank Ian, no not that Ian, for

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