The Scathing Atheist - 652: Dobson of a B.... Edition
Episode Date: August 28, 2025In this week’s episode, protesters get a rise out of Dan Patrick by not letting him get a rise out of them, Kristi Noem remains a puppy killer, and we’ll find a fresh grave in need of some aggress...ive urine therapy. --- To make a per episode donation at Patreon.com, click here: http://www.patreon.com/ScathingAtheist To buy our book, click here: https://www.amazon.com/Outbreak-Crisis-Religion-Ruined-Pandemic/dp/B08L2HSVS8/ If you see a news story you think we might be interested in, you can send it here: scathingnews@gmail.com To check out our sister show, The Skepticrat, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/the-skepticrat To check out our sister show’s hot friend, God Awful Movies, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/god-awful-movies To check out our half-sister show, Citation Needed, click here: http://citationpod.com/ To check out our sister show’s sister show, D and D minus, click here: https://danddminus.libsyn.com/ Report instances of harassment or abuse connected to this show to the Creator Accountability Network here: https://creatoraccountabilitynetwork.org/ --- Live Events: Come see a live God Awful Movies record in New Orleans on September 27th! Come see Noah read tarot in Orlando on September 21st! --- Headlines: Texas Lt. Governor threatens to expel Texans who don’t stand for prayer: https://www.friendlyatheist.com/p/texas-lt-gov-dan-patrick-demands The Jehovah's Witnesses now say college is OK... after decades of saying the opposite: https://www.friendlyatheist.com/p/the-jehovahs-witnesses-now-say-college Ryan Walters says Oklahoma will test some incoming teachers with 'America-first' exam: https://www.washingtonpost.com/education/2025/08/19/oklahoma-teachers-california-new-york-test/ Federal judge strikes down MN ban on state funding for schools with faith statements: https://www.friendlyatheist.com/p/federal-judge-strikes-down-minnesotas Christian pastors in Kentucky urge theft of LGBTQ books from Shelbyville public library: https://www.friendlyatheist.com/p/christian-pastors-in-kentucky-urge DHS is using the Bible to promote ICE, claiming ‘righteous’ fight against immigrants: https://religionnews.com/2025/08/19/homeland-security-quotes-bible-in-messaging-on-immigration-enforcement/ https://x.com/DHSgov/status/1949913619644493930 --- This Week in Misogyny: Pete Hegseth attends Doug Wilson’s church: https://www.friendlyatheist.com/p/defense-secretary-praises-pastor Christian University chooses powerful men over abused women and girls again: https://www.friendlyatheist.com/p/faith-power-and-abuse-the-scandal Women groomed by priest outs him in a delightful way: https://www.friendlyatheist.com/p/hes-a-priest-she-was-a-17-year-old
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Warning, Noah and I brought new profanities back as souvenirs, like pique and ping-pink.
This week's episode of The Skathing Atheist is brought to you by BetterHelp and by the old and ex-proved Cracker Barrel.
We've learned our lesson and we promise to never change a goddamn thing about your gravy-fired gravy again.
We promise. Cracker barrel. Cracker than ever. And now the Scathing Atheist.
This one goes out to all of my fellow survivors of Dr. James Dobson and his abusive teachings that hurt,
so many millions of children. Y'all, if you are within sound of my voice, we made it. We now
no longer live in a world that includes Dr. James Dobson, a world where, despite everything he
tried to teach us, we did, in fact, evolve from filthy monkey men.
It's Thursday.
It's August 28th.
And it's race your mouse around Icon's day.
I'm doing so much faster than you.
I'm not a favorite.
I have no illusions.
I'm Eli Bahtick.
I'm Heathenrae faster.
And from Aaron Burr's, New Jersey,
and over Michigan and Waycross, Georgia.
This is the skating east.
On this week's episode, Noah cuts out.
the long pauses while Heath and I race mouses.
Eli eats my goddamn dust.
And I will attempt to do an atheist podcast, I promise.
Fast.
But first to die, tribe.
I win.
So much.
When I was a kid, I was indicted by.
When I was a kid, I was inundated by the myth of common sense policy.
It was most prevalent in comedy, right? Saturday Night Live, The Tonight Show, Mad Magazine, Dave Barry columns. But the idea that there was this common sense middle ground that the politicians couldn't land on was just ubiquitous. You'd find it in comedy, but you'd also find it in like everyday conversations and even in the news media. Right? When Tom Brokhar or Dan Rather would break neutral character long enough to do opinion stuff, they'd adopt this common sense error and pretend that they weren't expressing their opinions or just one.
side of the political aisle here. They were just, they were expressing everybody's opinion.
They were just expressing common sense. And as a kid, this seemed like a problem with a super
obvious solution, right? We just fire all the politicians and replace them with regular
Joe's. And as childishly naive as this is, it actually stuck. It was and is an espoused
political viewpoint all over this stupid ass fucking country. Because of course, common sense politics
never existed. It was an illusion
created by privilege.
The people writing, producing,
green lighting, and presenting these nuggets a
common sense were upper income,
white, cisgendered, straight
Christian men.
The people they were consulting
with and conversing with and comparing themselves
to, they were all in that same demographic
as well. So what seemed like common sense
was just the insular beliefs of 75%
of their 25% of the
country. But that
you know, it seemed like an overwhelming majority
opinion because it was three out of every four people you meet.
And sure, the people buying into this illusion did have to encounter contrary opinions from
large groups of people here and there in their everyday life.
But those people were minorities.
And they already had kind of pre-packaged ways of dismissing those people's opinions.
After all, when you deprive somebody of equal education long enough, you get to withhold
equal opportunity to succeed.
Yes, obviously.
But you also get to dismiss them as uneducated as a bonus.
now eventually I woke up to that right or I guess that's taking too much agency there for myself eventually I was woken up to that I was forced to reckon with the fact that my early beliefs were shaped by an environment that despite looking an awful lot like all the shit that I saw on the TV shows right was not the universal experience and what seemed like common sense to me you know ideas like everybody should have to take the same test the same way no group should be more protected than another and if we just
ignored race, racism would go away.
Those were, in fact, naive bullshit.
Because a kid with a motor disability should have longer to take the fucking test.
And groups like cis-hat white Christian guy don't need protection.
And even if we could somehow ignore race, the centuries of historical oppression would still
disadvantage everybody who isn't white.
But unfortunately, as the American electorate is so desperate to remind us, not everybody
woke up to that shit.
A lot of people have the same bullshit notion of common sense politics that Ronald
Reagan sold them in the 80s, and they don't see no damn reason to update it.
And I was reminded of that last night when I saw one of these dumbass copy and paste outrage
lists that my brother-in-law shared on Facebook.
Now, I've long since cleansed my Facebook feed of Trump supporting fascists, but my wife
still has a profile she maintains her family shit.
So she sees this crap constantly.
And mostly she lets me ignore it, but this one was too fucking dumb for her to keep to herself.
So she showed it to me.
And it's just this list of conservative talking points
preceded by a self-aggrandizing sense of burden.
This is the fucking woes me monologue about,
you just can't believe it's falling upon him
to remind everybody of all these common sense points
that the body politics seems to have forgotten.
And the various bullet points that follow
range from nonsense that nobody is advocating for,
as in we shouldn't open our borders to rapists and drug dealers,
to gross and intentional misstatements of reality,
as in men shouldn't be allowed to compete in women's sports to just made up bullshit,
as in schools shouldn't have litter boxes for kids who identify as cats.
There were some fucking 25 points on the bullshit list,
and not a single fucking one of them could be honestly correlated
with anything that's happening in the universe
or that any significant portion of people are advocating for.
And when they do vaguely intersect with real policies and real goals,
they've been translated into some fact that verse bigot speak,
they distorts them to the point of caricature.
But because he's been sold this myth of the elusive common sense politics,
he can convince himself that his opinions aren't competing in an arena against other opinions,
generally more informed than his own.
No, his ideas are competing against the perpetual lack of common sense
that's been plaguing our nation since, you know, enter whatever mythical era they think America
was great again in.
Now, you divorce this guy of that illusion, and suddenly he's got to look at this list and say,
well, this is fucking nonsense.
It can't possibly be
that these are the policies
that 50% of the country
are fighting for.
Perhaps I should go ask my brother-in-law,
who I know to advocate
liberal political policies
for a fucking living
and ask him if these
actually accurately represent
the other side
of the argument that I'm having.
Right?
Because if we start from the place
of let's assume
that we're all dealing
with the same amount of common sense
you can't land on
and that side wants kids
to shit and giddy litter boxes.
But of course,
clinging to this
common sense illusion isn't just a mistake born a bad judgment and insufficient reflection.
It's a defense mechanism.
Because if you accept that people actually do have common sense, you have to entertain the idea
that you could be wrong.
And that's a tough thing to do no matter what, right?
Like even for skeptics who pride themselves on changing their mind, it's a tough thing to do.
But now think about how much harder it has to be to admit you're wrong.
When you look at the country burning down around you and you realize that if you're wrong,
your wrongness was the match.
They're talking about your Jesus.
May interrupt this broadcast
and bring you a special news bulletin.
Joining me for headlines tonight
are the Juno and Fairbanks to my Anchorage,
Heath Enright, and Eli Postic fellas.
Are you ready to chill?
Do you know it?
Absolutely.
Oil spill.
Juneau.
Yeah.
Oh, well, yeah.
Well, an oil spill in Alaska means we need to get some shit
taking care of eventually, not now, maybe, someday.
But it leaves us plenty of.
time for a word from this week's sponsor, BetterHelp.
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All right, guys.
Thanks.
Oh, what about a Switch 2, though?
Do you think maybe a Switch?
Yeah, no, a Switch 2 would definitely help.
Dude.
What?
It's a great system.
And now, back to the headlines.
In our lead story tonight, Texas Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick blurted out a wildly
illegal demand for active Christianity during a session of the state Senate last week.
During his tirade, he admonished people for failing to stand while Ken Paxton's axe was loving Jesus into a microphone and threatened to have them removed from the chamber if he caught them failing to sufficiently love Jesus in the future, which, of course, he can't fucking do.
And I don't mean he can't have them removed.
I mean he can't threaten to have them removed.
That is the very definition of religious coercement.
It's like a shitty gym teacher who doesn't know it's illegal to invite kids to underage drink in his basement.
is the lieutenant governor of Texas.
Yes.
And you know what?
It tracks.
Or nerds who aren't drinking.
Take a fucking lap.
Take a leg.
And be Christian now.
Do a suicide.
Right.
So, yeah.
Like I'm going to do.
Last Friday.
Dogging it.
Jesus Christ, dude.
So last Friday, the Texas Senate opened up with a prayer by Senator
Angela Paxton, former wife of National Embarrassment and Texas Attorney General Ken
Paxton.
And during her sales pitch for her religion, a few of the observers in the gallery ignored the
request to stand for the prayer. So afterwards, Patrick, let them have it saying, quote,
for those of you who didn't stand, next time you come to the gallery, you stand for the
invocation. It's respected the Senate. If you don't stand for the invocation, I'll have you
removed. End quote. Now, he said this despite the fact that, you know, they have a constitutional
right to choose which religious rituals to participate in. That's three days detention.
Wait, what do you mean we don't have that?
Well, then why am I acting like the bad guy in the breakfast club if I don't get the parents of the guy in the race?
Okay, I feel like this is a great setup for Texas Democrats to do shenanigans.
They're all in one district next year anyway.
Yeah, that's true.
It'll be great attention to do shenanigans.
You might as well get some in there, right?
Right.
Just doing like flash mob dances, getting dragged down by Dan Patrick's bouncer that he thinks he has.
Fuck, yeah, I like it.
And it's worth noting here that Patrick is well aware of.
and has exercised his right to not participate in religious invocations in the state house.
Right. So in 2007, when Patrick was a state senator, a Muslim cleric was invited to give an
invocation by a fucking Republican. And not only did Patrick fail to stand for it, he left the
fucking chamber. He later said that he, quote, didn't want my attendance on the floor to appear
that I was endorsing that, end quote. Oh, close one. Yeah. Yeah, right. So just to review,
simply being in the room with a Muslim prayer
is an endorsement in his mind
but standing for and thereby participating
in a Christian prayer
well that's just respecting the Senate
that's the level of irony we've reached
without ripping open an irony singularity
that sucks the world in
oh we've actually already done that
it's the thing on the back of Trump's hand
he keeps covering with makeup yeah
what is happening there
it's crazy it's like he forgot to use the painting
and his hand got Dorian grade
No, there's a painting looking fucking amazing somewhere.
And in Jehovah's witless news, when you're an atheist, one of the things that's most surprising about religions from the outside is why so many people stay in a thing that sucks.
Yeah.
Right?
Even if you buy the eternal promises, the day to day of being a religious person most of the time means not getting to
fuck who you want or wear what you want or or not wear a magic hat.
And perhaps there is no culty corner of religions cupboard that better exemplifies this
than the Jehovah's Witnesses who don't get Halloween, who don't get fucking birthdays or
secular higher education.
That is until this week when they changed their mind about that last thing because
it turns out it's way easier to tithe with a high paying job.
Okay, you can work for Palantir to take.
to end the human race if you fucking ties.
But if there's a fucking cake on Friday before your birthday that weekend of
Ballantier, you are out of the cult.
Y'all, we've been making ourselves intentionally dumber for so many generations now
that we can't remember why we was doing that.
So what we're going to need is for some of y'all to go to college long enough to get smart
enough to figure out why we weren't letting y'all to go to college.
Right.
And then stop.
So first off, big thanks to him at Meta over the friendly atheist blog for calling me up
on the phone last night.
and after a long talk about our hopes, our dreams,
and the deep affection we hold for each other,
giving me an inside scoop on this story.
Or I'm on his email list,
which you can join at friendly atheist.com.
By all means, follow whichever head can and you prefer.
So, okay, I just want to point out that me and Hemet actually were friends
until you started all this creepy fucking shit about him on the show.
Just tell him to show me his feet.
Now, I want to say that J. Dub's rejection of higher education goes way further
than the usual religious anti-intellectualism, right?
As Hemet points out in his article about this decision,
in the past, Jehovah's Witnesses have produced training videos
on how to delete people from church leadership
if they send their kids to college.
And church leadership has compared higher education
to swimming with sharks.
So this week, when governing body member David Splane,
called further education, quote,
a matter for personal decision,
end quote, current and ex-JW.
members were a little bit taken aback to say the least. Hey, what the fuck is a personal decision?
We've been living in a cup, man. What do you talk? It doesn't even make sense. Also,
what the fuck is a matter? You haven't let us learn stuff in quite a while. It's been a minute.
Yeah. One last thing about this story, whenever religion does something like this, like when the
Mormons allowed brides to have shoulders this year, or when the JWs allowed missionaries
to wear short sleeves because they were literally dying of heat exhaustion, there's this laudable
impulse to praise any kind of reform towards modernity as a good thing. And it is, right?
I'm glad a generation of young people won't have to choose between higher education and being
literally shunned by their families. But we cannot and should not praise the good without
acknowledging the bad, the harm, the loss, and the damage done by these policies up until the
second a dying old white guy decided to call backsies. And when a church acknowledges that,
that's when I'm personally going to start handing out
Pat's on the back.
Fair.
And in testing to the teach news,
we have yet another story
about Oklahoma Superintendent of Public Instruction,
Ryan Walters and his come stand office.
Sorry, allegedly come stand office.
There you go.
Can't be sure if he finishes to Jackie Chan movies.
As we mentioned last month,
Walters teamed up with Prager University
to create a Christian nationalist anti-woke exam
for out-of-state teachers who apply for a job in Oklahoma.
Then a week later, Walter's had a meeting in his office
with two Board of Education people
and he showed them full frontal nudity on his TV,
possibly a Jackie Chan movie.
So it's easy for the rest of his dumb and evil shit
to fly under the radar.
But we put the radar low.
I'm not sure why everyone doesn't do that.
And we have some new details about the anti-woke exam.
That includes some sample questions.
Ooh.
And we learned that he's targeting two states in particular, New York and California.
Kind of like a Muslim immigration ban, but for wokeism with teachers going to Oklahoma.
Yeah.
Question one.
Does my state live off the surplus tax delivery?
to our nation by your state.
Yes? Get the fuck out of here.
I'm sorry, is this
a big problem? Fucking woke
people from California and New York
deciding they'd rather work for Ryan
Walters and live in Oklahoma?
I can't imagine that's a big problem.
You guys need to watch more Hallmark movies.
It happens to high quality
business lawyer ladies
all the time. Honestly, Heath, I would be worried.
I would be worried. Okay.
And a big thanks to Kenny for
sending a link to Skating News at
gmail.com.
Hi, Kenny.
So you'd assume that anytime an idiot starts using material from Prager You in the public school
system, the Board of Education would just fire that person, or at the very least, get rid of
the stupid material.
But apparently the Oklahoma Board of Education will not have a chance to review the material
before the exam requirement goes into effect, which is already, it already is in effect.
Walters quietly implemented the new requirement last week, telling any California and New York applicants about the very tricky test they'll need to pass at some point.
And he announced, quote, it's a very America first approach.
We're not bringing in woke indoctrinators into the classroom.
Yeah, you know, maybe bringing somebody in who explains that putting in on both sides of the clause is unnecessary and makes you sound like a fucking.
idiot, but nothing woke. Got it.
Yeah, got it. Sure. Imagine the insane
amount of willpower it would take
to hear someone say that and
not punch them in the face. It's Herculian.
It's Herculian.
I wouldn't know.
So, here's what we know about the exam.
It has 50 questions
and it's multiple choice.
So, already lazy.
In addition to basic questions about the government,
there's going to be a section about
gender. Read, there's a
transphobia section. And of course,
a religion section, and based on some of the sample questions, I'm getting the impression
the religion section and the government section are the same fucking thing. For example,
one question says, why is freedom of religion important to America's identity? A, it makes
Christianity the national religion. B, it bans all forms of public worship. C, it limits religious
teaching in public life. D, it protects religious choice from government control. Oh, for
fuck's sake. I see he's using the citation needed model and hoping for a secret
answer, E. So is this the fucking format throughout then? So what's one plus one? A, 100,
B, a pony, C, two, or D, two and also a marriage is between one man and one woman as God
intended. It is going to be like that. That is the impression I guess. And I'm genuinely not
sure how Ryan Walters would have answered that sample question. Oh, D. It's absolutely D. The whole
ideas to root out anybody who would say C, which is fucking correct.
We get you with the trick question because it's the thing everyone knows to be true.
Yeah.
I feel like he thinks it's also maybe A, it makes Christianity the national religion.
But yeah.
Yeah.
Here's another sample question that we got.
What are the first three words of the Constitution?
A.
It doesn't matter.
This doesn't matter.
But A, in God we trust.
that's not even the right number of words no no it's literally four that's four get some math in there
be life liberty happiness no so that's three but that's not the beginning of a sentence so he knew it
needed to be three words eventually he knew yeah he thought the constitution began with life liberty
happiness okay now that I have your attention you know we're doing a thing called the United States
Think about what those two answers implies.
That two answers implies that he went,
life, liberty, and the pursuit of having.
Well, that's too many words.
I've got to make that three words.
Moving on, nothing else to correct here in my question.
All right.
Well, that was A and B.
C was the United States.
And D was, we the people.
Okay.
At this point, I think answering these questions
without punching someone should disqualify you
from teaching in the state.
Yeah, right.
Also, we the people is the beginning of the
preamble, which is not really part of the fucking constitution.
I think Article 1 starts with just like the legislative branch is, blah, blah, blah, so that's
what that is in terms of mattering.
And the rest of the exam is made of secret questions that Ryan Walters hasn't perfected yet.
He said he needs a bit more time to finish.
And, you know, heard that from his office before.
So naturally, in response to the news about the exam, teachers unions blasted the policy and
called it a stupid political stuff.
that's going to discourage applicants while Oklahoma is in the middle of a big teacher
shortage. And I get the point they're making. It's definitely a stunt. But this exam is not the
reason teachers in California and New York don't want to move to Oklahoma. Right. Yeah.
Ryan Walters is a human being. That's a reason. But also, California and New York are literally
number one and number two in the country for average public school teacher salary right now.
Oh, there you go. Oklahoma is number number.
35. And Oklahoma's number 45 in terms of starting salary. And crucially, Oklahoma is in Oklahoma.
The whole damn thing. They've got the wind whipping down the plane and the salary with the fringe on
hospital. But the governor looks like milk was a person. And they have a senator named Mark Wayne,
all one word. All these people are Republicans. But yeah, the Orwellian teacher exam full of lies
doesn't really help. Right. All right. Well, the next.
The next 43 pages of Heath's notes are other ways that Oklahoma is inferior to New York and California.
So we're going to let him go through that, get out of his system while we hand things over to my lovely wife, Lucid.
A man wrote the Bible.
A whore is what you want.
If it's a legitimate race.
It's a slut, right?
Cooking can be fine.
Hey, I'm glad of a man.
This week in misogy.
Y'all, I missed so much misogyny since the last time I talked to you.
And I'm kind of glad that I did.
sorry but when the building's on fire the least you can do for yourself is step outside and cool off here and there but i'm back and holy shit are the sexism stories just lining right up for my return so let me start with a man who loves push up so much he sleeps on the floor pete hegsif he took a break from losing pull-up contest a 71 year olds and being a worthless drunk to attend a church associated with doug wilson wilson is a notorious hate preacher from moscow idaho we've talked about him before but there are a lot of
of assholes to keep track of. So let me just emphasize that this is one of the most dangerous
gun fetish we're going to need to rise up against the liberals, Christian leaders we've ever
covered. And among his many disgusting beliefs is the subordination of women. Well, that dude just
opened a branch of his Guns in Jesus Church in Washington, D.C., and among his early adherents
is our Secretary of War, Pete Heggseth. This is a church that openly advocates for Christian
theocracy at the point of a gun, run by a man who has...
described women as, quote, the kind of people that people come out of, end quote, and preaches all
about female submission and male headship. He doesn't think women should be allowed to vote.
He advocates for the criminalization of homosexuality. And he doesn't think atheist, Muslims,
or Hindus should be allowed to hold office. That's our Secretary of War's new pastor.
So with that warning out of the way, we'll head to where else, Georgia, where a daming report
in the Atlanta Journal Constitution just outed a pastor.
named Bradley Reynolds. This guy who is the vice president of Truett McConnell University
apparently used his position as a school and spiritual leader to groom and abuse a student there
for years, even long after she left the school. And look, the details are in the story,
which will be linked in the show notes, but it's not the kind of shit I want to lay on you
unaware. That being said, they're not the kind of allegations he can be arrested over.
I mean, the story contains emails from him, so we know for a fact that he's a creepy fuck
that used his authority as a spiritual leader
to coerce her into a physical relationship
that she did not want.
But that's legal
because she was an adult when they met.
A student at his school, sure, but an adult one.
So instead of going after him legally,
she's going after his reputation.
She does, after all, have the emails.
So it's not like she can't prove
that he's a deeply fucked up individual.
But there's also pretty strong evidence
that the school's president
actively ignored her situation.
And a former staffer says
they brought up their suspicion to that president, so it's not like that he can pretend he
was completely unaware. So it is possible that there's still some punishment coming his way
beyond the ruined reputation. And while we're on the subject of victims taking control and
seeking their own justice, I have one more story I want to share with you. The victim here is
Heather Jones, who took a job as a dancer when she was a neglected 17-year-old. At that job,
she meets a guy named Bob Sullivan, who says he's a doctor and promises to take care of her. So for
years. She has this sugar daddy relationship
with the guy. But along the way,
she learns that he's not a doctor.
He's a fucking Catholic priest.
And when she sort of gets herself together
and does rehab and ship, she realizes
what a fucked up thing it is for a
30-something priest to start a relationship
like that with a 17-year-old kid.
So she threatens to go public.
He offers her over a quarter of a
million dollars to sign an NDA.
But, and here's my favorite part,
she's been going
to law school. She looks at the
NDA realizes there's no fucking way
it'll hold up in court. Takes the money
and then outs the predator
anyway. Now, in Alabama
the age of consent is 16, so he didn't
technically break any laws.
But he broke Catholic rules by fucking anybody
at all. And they've committed
to at least publicly taking this shit super
serious. So Sullivan has been placed
on an indefinite leave and
Heather is presumably lying around in a
bathtub full of his money.
And on that unusually happy
note, I'll wrap things up and hand you
back over to Noah, Heath, and Eli.
Thank you, Lucinda.
And in Wall Be Damned news tonight.
U.S. District Judge Nancy Brassel thinks Minnesota has too damn much church state separation
and not enough anti-LGBQ bigotry.
But luckily, she had a chance to do something about it when she struck down a Minnesota law
that would bar public funds from going to private colleges that insist on bigotry as a prerequisite for education.
or I'm sorry, the law didn't go that far, actually.
So the law barred private colleges that assist on bigotry as a prerequisite for education
to pause doing that for a minute while receiving public funds.
But they'll suffer no such oppression anymore, thanks to her.
Yeah, they didn't even make them wear armbands.
It was a sticker on an armband, and I think that matters.
Okay, if you guys murder every banker because you think they're Jewish,
we can't give you money for your thing.
You get that, right?
Right.
So first, a quick thing is to at Fly on the Wall 13 on Blue Sky for sending me this story.
Still better to send the news to Skathing News at gmail.com.
An email inbox that now that we've given Tim access to it has approximately the same number of users as Blue Sky.
But fuck it.
Yeah, man.
Go not Twitter.
You see that fly on the wall 13?
No prizes.
Respect the format prize.
You don't get anything out of the prize box.
Anyway, so the law that this judge just struck down was a provision.
that affects the state's post-secondary enrollment options or PSEO program.
So basically, this is a state-run version of the Advanced Placement Program.
And it goes like this.
A college-bound high school student attends classes on a college campus instead of the high school classes.
The state reimburses the school for the cost so that the high-achieving student gets college credits for free
and the state gets the best possible education for them without wasting a seat in an algebra class
that wouldn't have challenged them in the first place.
But, of course, some of the colleges participating in this program are private Christian.
in schools. And some of those
require their students to sign a statement
of faith in order to attend. And
some of those include
shit like, I'm not gay.
I don't support gay marriage.
And I think trans people are a figment
of their own imaginations.
So the state passed a law that said
those colleges couldn't require PSEO
students to sign those statements
as a prerequisite to taking
classes there. And so
the school sued.
Look, we're not sure what
if P, not Q, means.
But if we can't make kids sign
a pledge not to tell us, we
cannot peach them this price.
Fellas, is modus ponens
gay? I have no idea what that is,
but it sounds like it might be gay, right?
It sounds like, is that, I think that's the fat
above your dick. It's a lot of dangly
parts on their words and stuff.
Yeah. So now...
Fellas, is the fat above your dick gay?
Now, consider how generous
the state is being there, right?
Like, they're still willing to pay these bigot fucking schools
to teach, you know, fucking, like secular math courses or whatever they're teaching to high school
students. They're not teaching religious shit. They're still teaching secular shit.
They're just saying you can't insist on a minimal level of bigotry or Christianity for people
who still pretend those words have different meanings for those students, right? But that was too damn
much to ask, apparently. So they sued and they won. The dumbass judge offered up this bullshit
analogy about how school asking for a similar statement, you know, of a secular nature wouldn't be
excluded, so that makes this unconstitutional.
And no, yeah, she was not able to imagine what a secular version of, I promise to be
this specific religion and not gay would look like.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just remember, when you think it's hard to be an American, I'll remind you that some people
have to write future law textbooks.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I feel bad for those AI bots.
Yeah.
For writing books for themselves.
It's going to be exhausting for them.
That's tough.
Yeah.
So, of course, the end result of this is no shit.
there are now publicly funded Christian-only, straight-only, and cis-only classes for public
high schools in Minnesota, that Minnesota taxpayers will be paying for.
Now, there is an option where the state legislature creates a revised version of the program
that excludes all private colleges, but doing that would cut off a lot of rural students from
any access to the program at all, which is, of course, a price that Christians are willing to pay
to protect their bigotry.
And in LGBQ news, Christians are burning books again, more,
or at the very least, they're stealing them from the library
in the hopes that the gayness contained in said books will not infect their children.
And when anybody has an ideology that stupid,
you know we're going to talk about it.
Yeah, okay, so I'm guessing we don't have too many Christian right listeners,
but if you run into any of those people, let them know that our super gay.
Patreon-only podcasts
can be downloaded for just a dollar an episode
and then burned in a pyre.
You can burn the MP3s.
And we would be powerless.
We have to let you.
Yeah, nothing hurts an author's bottom line.
Like, their books constantly needing to be replaced at libraries.
Go, you go, guys.
That's exactly right.
So, first off, a big thanks to Greg,
who is from Shelbyville, Kentucky.
Sorry.
The town at the center of our story who sent us this.
First, to scathing news at gmail.com.
Greg, I'm going to heavily imply what you should do as I unfold my word tale in a moment here.
And if you do it, you get one million heaths.
Can't offer that.
Redemable, as always, that's scathing news at Gmail.
Dude, you're inflating the economy.
Yep.
This is the problem.
You have to put tariffs.
We have to put tariffs on Greg now.
I'm so sorry.
It's going to be the opposite of the intended effect.
Right.
So the villain of our story is Pastor Austin Keeler, who in June of 2024, released an insane video
accusing the library of turning kids' trance on Facebook.
And look, podcast listener, I don't we don't usually play clips on the show.
We read the quotes and then we joke about them, but I need you spiritually to hear this man's voice.
Morgan?
These books are written for children, and if you have the Holy Spirit of God and you, you ought to be filled with righteous indignation
that books like these are being pushed through your library.
Books containing stories of six-year-olds performing oral sex.
Books encouraging young people to embrace the art of drag.
In this book, it is admitted on page 23 that subversion that is the attempt to overthrow or undermine the image of God in man is their goal.
And like the cross-dressing stage actors of old, laughter and humor makes it easier to fly under the radar.
Also contained in this book is the glorification of incest in rosary-strewn sex toys.
Stop selling, man.
I want to be clear.
This isn't one of those like AI generated voices
that doesn't really get inflection just yet.
That's a dude.
You sure?
No, like I watched the fucking video.
These whole fucking video is like that.
Is there an edit between each world?
No, there's not an edit.
That's the other thing.
It sounds like it's, oh, it's badly edited.
There's ain't no, like between syllables sometimes.
That's one take.
That was all one take.
One beautiful take.
Now, podcast listener, if you were tuned into a high,
higher-brow atheist podcast,
Seth Andrews would tell you in his milk-chocolaty voice
that accusing homophobes of being secretly gay
is, in fact, a deeply problematic and lazy trope
that does very little to discourage their bad behavior
while doing very real damage to the closeted
and openly gay people who might hear what you say.
But you're not listening to that smart motherfucker.
So fuck, Austin Keeler is the gayest sounding dude
I have ever heard.
I have heard a dude give enthusiastic consent
to getting fucked in the ass
while he was blowing another dude
and it was nowhere near as gay
as Austin Keeler sounded in that clip.
If Austin Keeler read a calendar
every month would be Pride Month,
also his opinions are bad.
Yes, and while we're at it,
he looks like John Ritter's corpse
was reanimated by a haunted carnival barker mustache.
It's a tiny, he has the twirling mustache,
but it's too small for his face.
It doesn't go to the ends.
It doesn't seem like,
it originated on his face, no.
No, it looks like he stole it from
a child's Halloween costume. Like several times
a day, it's like, my eye! Yes, exactly.
Very pokey mustache.
But gayest voice in the world
aside, his plea seems
to have worked. And this week, one
of his congregants confirmed that they have
checked out and not returned
the offending books in spite of
acquiring tremendous late fees. Because,
as Pastor Jerry Doris
puts it, quote, we reject
the idea that civil rebellion is only
legitimate when it's done with rainbow flags or Marxist slogans.
Civil disobedience is a biblical category when obedience to God and love for neighbor demand it.
Okay.
If we convince these people that dollars are gay, I think we could solve the inflation.
We get a two-for.
Yeah.
There you go.
And have their money.
Right.
So as my co-hosts have already pointed out, the library is just going to buy new copies of those books.
I mean, look, I guess there's a chance
that they wouldn't have if they hadn't made national news.
But now that Christian idiots are bragging about what they did
to the media, they pretty much have to buy new copies of these books.
So what these bigots have done by stealing gay books
is give these gay books more sales,
library sales, which are significantly more valuable.
And they now have to fund the libraries that buy them with their late fees.
I guess what I'm saying,
is that sometimes, some days, Christians are so fucking evil,
they loop all the way back around to good again.
Yeah, don't they, though?
Well, and remember what P.T. Barnum said Christians,
there's such thing as bad publicity.
That's right.
And finally tonight, in the Iceman cometh news.
Christy Knaum killed a puppy.
Yeah.
I'm going to do a story, but I've been seeing Christy Nome's name
all over the news for a while,
and nobody started their article with
she killed a puppy
and bragged about it.
And is also the Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security
and here's a story.
Anyway, Christy Dome, who killed a puppy,
is now running the DHS
after having killed a puppy.
And in order to recruit people
to join ICE and become colleagues
with Dean Cain,
they've been using
their official government accounts.
The DHS official government accounts
on social media.
to release promotional videos full of Bible quotes and Christian nationalism themes.
Yup.
And turning their violent abduction department into a literal holy crusade.
That's happening.
Yeah, they're the contemplars, if you will.
And a big thanks to Stormy D.
We're sending a link to scathing news at gmail.com.
Stormy gets, let's give Stormy an, uh-uh, triad.
Ooh.
Uh-oh.
Ooh-oh.
Nice. Okay, so I'll start with a video posted last month showing Christy Nome, the puppy killer,
in a helicopter with border patrol agents. And the VO says, here's a Bible verse I think about sometimes,
many times. I heard the voice of the Lord saying, whom shall I send? And who will go for us?
I said, here am I. Send me. That's from Isaiah 6.8. To be clear, that was Isaiah volunteering to be
just like an obnoxious prophet who goes around scolding people, but nothing about
masked abductions. I mean, what's more thief in the night than stealing someone's grandma
when she shows up for her legal green card. There you go. Yeah. Well, and again, we're faced with
the no Bible quotes are actually a profound problem here, right? She's desperate to find
something wise here that could guide or whatever.
The best you can do is Isaiah waving his arm
back and forth from the back of the class like a fucking
boot licker yelling, pick me, pick me.
That's the quote. That verse is about, yes.
And, but not that it really matters, nothing in the Bible
fucking matters, but Isaiah warned
against idolatry.
Like, you know, worshiping some guy
and acting like he's infallible.
Isaiah said, don't do that. Oh.
He also said things like, seek justice,
rebuke the oppressor.
But apparently the DHS thing.
Thanks, Isaiah was volunteering to do some ethnic cleansing.
Speaking of which, they also posted videos about manifest destiny.
Back in the westward expansion times, white colonists would say,
hey, Native Americans, we're killing you and taking all your land.
Be cool, though.
God said we have a divine mandate.
But that got kind of like long and clunky.
So we made a new term for it.
It's manifest destiny.
and the 1872 painting by John Gast called American Progress
was an iconic symbol of that idea.
It shows a white lady holding a book
and floating over a prairie.
She could fly, apparently,
and she's leading some pioneers
as they all run after a group of fleeing Native American people.
The DHS put that in a promo video, that painting.
They did.
Podcast listener.
Heath has included this picture,
in our notes, and it would make a problematic
state flag go
yule. Yeah, there are
Rudyard Kipling poems that would
like to distance themselves from this
painting. It's all black
skies over the Native Americans
and sunny skies over the white
people. Yeah, so
here's when the DHS
really went off the rails.
Oh, okay, here we go.
The puppy killer acting like the
prophet Isaiah in the attack
helicopter and the lying angel of ethnic cleansing were more of an even-handed message.
Sure, sure. Who hasn't been there?
Then they released a Batman video.
Bucking him what?
Yep, that's what happened. It's 40 seconds long, and there's a link in the notes if you really want to check it out.
It shows the Border Patrol getting ready for another abduction, putting on their sweet
night vision goggles and their tactical, whatever bullshit.
And then we see a verse from the book of Proverbs come on to the screen.
It says, the wicked flee when no man pursueth, but the righteous are bold as a lion.
And then we hear Robert Pattinson doing the opening monologue from the Batman.
He says, they think I'm hiding in the shadows, but I am the shadows.
You hear that, Robert Pattinson?
You have the opportunity to sue a lady who kills dogs and kidnap people.
This is the second most beloved you could ever be.
This nation.
Okay, so here's my theory.
Here's what I think happened.
The DHS was definitely feeling stupid after letting Dean Cain become a member vice.
And, of course, accidentally releasing a video of Dean's obstacle course training at a kennel club, it appeared.
And they wanted to distance themselves from Superman as much as possible.
So they were like, Batman thing.
Oh, yeah.
There you go.
Yeah.
Also, Christy Gnome killed a puppy.
She did and bragged about it.
All right, well, it sounds like somebody needs to go yell Martha at Christy Gnome to save the day or whatever.
So we're going to wrap the headlines up, get on that.
Heath, Eli, thanks as always.
Jimaji.
And when we come back, we'll set our DJ booth up at another graveyard.
We first debuted the son-of-obituary segment on episode 263 when Billy Graham graced us with his Silk Song-Songy and Lee.
overdue death in 2018.
And there it lay, dormant, ignored, and eventually
forgotten. But then Duck Dynasty
Patriarch Phil Robertson's death got us giddy enough to dust it off
back in May. And since then, old
Christian fuckers have just been dropping like flies.
It makes me fear that part of the reason they weren't
dying was that they thought we'd retired this bit.
It's Raskall's Wager.
Exactly. Yeah.
I'm looking forward to the Prager Eulogy.
that's going to be a bad.
Yes, so I want to make it super clear that we are open for business
as we mark the death of James Dobson on this installment of
Son of Obituary.
Now, without resorting to genocidal world leaders,
it would be hard to point to a person who brought more harm into the world
than Dr. James Clayton Dobson, Jr.
This is a man who rose to prominence advocating for child abuse,
shifted gears to purity culture,
became a leading voice in the opposition to LGBTQ rights,
and started three hate groups,
one of which spawned at least two more hate groups.
And also, he made the otherwise promising city of Colorado Springs, Colorado,
into a conservative hellhole.
Just had to work in that he ruined your hike, didn't it have been such a good hike.
I feel like Noah ruined hikes for bigots in fun, creative ways, if I'm guessing.
Yeah, it makes him a little more tolerable.
So Jimmy Lee, as he was called as a kid, was born to James C. and Myrtle Georgia, Dobson, on April 21st of 1936.
And if you're thinking to yourself, hey, Noah, isn't Myrtle Georgia an unincorporated municipality just southeast of Macon,
apparently not. It's a lady.
Jimmy's dad, granddad, and great-granddad were all ministers with the Church of the Nazarene.
And religion was so central to his life that according to Dobson, he learned to pray before he learned to talk.
But since praying is a kind of talking, I'm going to call bullshit on that.
Okay, yeah.
But the mental picture of a baby speaking in tongues is adorable.
I do like that.
Yeah, no, that's fair.
Also, look, I'm not saying that these son of obituaries are getting similar,
but it's remarkable how starting out dirt poor really drives one into for-profit religion, huh?
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
Also starting out medium or rich.
Yeah, no, it actually doesn't.
Either way, yeah.
So Jimmy turned his life over to Jesus at the age of three.
a decision he came to, no doubt after weighing the pros and cons of all the world's major faith traditions
and deciding that Baptist Christianity had the superior theological foundation.
Yeah, we need a Sesame Street epistemologist.
Really, yeah.
Now, at the risk of fostering empathy with one of the worst people to share contemporary air with any of us,
I should point out that little Jimmy had terrible parents.
They were gone a lot of the time.
The Wiki said it was because they were traveling evangelists,
but a lot of parents were traveling evangelists and didn't just leave their kids with
whatever relative was nearest by
while they traveled. But little Jimmy
probably loved their absence since when they
were around, they hit him a lot.
And with shit, they also
forbade things like dancing, watching
movies, and experiencing happiness.
Mom and the parents leave.
Baby Jimmy slides
in the frame like risky business. Right.
And that noise is him speaking in tongue.
So bucking
the family tradition, little Jimmy
decided not to become an ordained
minister, and he never was. Instead, he studied psychology. Eventually, he would earn a doctorate in
psychology from the University of Southern California, so weird that they're not more public about
their association with this famous alum of theirs, huh?
James doesn't. He missed a lot of classes. He didn't pay to have his degree ship flat. He did the
two things. I mean, what? Is it really count? Anyway, Rob Kardashian went here, huh?
Yeah, right. Bobby Kardashian?
Cardassian.
So Dobson got his degree, and then he set out for a career as a Christian psychologist,
but his real passion was beating children.
Not his children, mind you, though he did have two kids and he doubt was beat the hell out of him.
But what's the physical mistreatment of two little kids compared to the abuse of an entire nation?
Nancy Mace's campaign platform.
Now, it's important to note that as Dobson is beginning his career, the rest of the country is
having the 60s.
And that's a time when people raised in very repressive Christian households were forced to
question a lot of the assumptions that they were raised on.
Some chose to break free of them.
Others chose to double down.
Still, others chose to double down while saying, I bet the problem with these hippies is that
their moms didn't hit them with enough belts and shoes and hair brushes and shit.
So he wrote a book in 1970 called Dare to Discipline in which he encouraged parents to hit
their kids.
Spoiler alert.
beating up on people who deserve your love and protection.
Something of a theme for James Dobson.
Yeah.
I heard about a new book that says empathy leads to sin, though.
Yeah, no, let's check in that.
The writer has a podcast.
Probably accurate.
So during this time, Dobson was working as an assistant to a counselor named Paul Popano.
And if you know that name at all, the first thought that came to your mind when I said it was probably
the eugenicist.
And yes, yes, that's the one.
Popano ran a marriage.
counseling center in L.A. that emphasized
the importance of same race
marriages and
adherence to traditional gender roles
because otherwise you'd
fuck up the sacred Aryan bloodline, I guess.
I'd love to know how he counseled people with the problem
of being the wrong race.
Right? Yeah. All right. You got to
work out those thought distortions.
How delightsome are you, would you say?
Now, so it was while
he was working for this racist that Dobbs
started to really lay into the evils of feminism.
And when the American Psychological Association decided in 1973
to remove homosexuality from their officially recognized list of mental disorders,
Dobson quit the organization and protest.
Shortly after that, he took a sabbatical from the children's hospital he was working for
and never came back.
Oh, cool, yeah, sabbatical.
Jordan Peterson did the same thing.
He has a long sabbatical he's been on.
University of Toronto.
Do we know what Coma Dobson had to put himself in to get off his meat-only diet or is that not in the...
Spoilers. It's later in the...
I took a sabbatical from a World Series of Poker Satellite Tournament, too.
Like, come on. I was out of chips.
Took a sabbatical from my acting career.
Yeah, right, right.
Bud Dwyer took a sabbatical from being the mayor.
And look, I get why that hospital didn't want this professional racist,
bigot child abuse advocate on their payroll.
but the argument could be made that he'd have done a lot less damage if they'd just
given him seven or eight kids to hit because instead of that he used his newfound free time
to start broadcasting his ideas those ideas being of course that all of america's problems
are the result of feminists gays and insufficiently tortured children this would lead to the creation
of the joe rogan experience but later that yes eventually but first focus on the family in
1977.
If only you'd use the words
Target the family,
his goals would have been so much clear.
Sure.
But I get why he went with the alliteration, right?
Yeah, you know, it's all about branding.
Now, so, okay, so over the next 20 years,
Dobson would turn focus on the family
into a media empire that included 10 radio shows
and 11 magazines.
Now, I guess in a world where, like,
we've got six shows between us,
that doesn't probably seem that impressive.
But those were pretty good numbers for the 90s, right?
It was enough to be influenced a hobnob with presidents
even as was the case with Jimmy Carter,
presidents who really didn't want to hobnob with you.
Dobson actually led a successful letter writing campaign
against Carter's White House
when Carter failed to include him in a summit about families.
Jimmy Carter was the best, man.
I fucking missed the guy.
He's like, no, you're not coming, man.
You told a kid at the Easter egg roll to go get you a switch
when he was too slow rolling the eggs or whatever.
Kid comes back a different gender.
Fuck, not like that.
Oh, damn it.
So by 1981,
he would spin off two more hate groups,
the Family Research Council and the Family Policy Council.
It's like his Joni loves Chachi and Family Man.
Exactly.
Noah already said hate groups.
Apparently there used to be these rules, I guess,
about what a media empire couldn't do
vis-a-vis political lobbying.
So I guess he needed separate organizations
to do all the evil shit he wanted to do.
In 1991, he moved his whole operation to Colorado Springs,
which people in his circles started referring to
as the American Vatican
or the American conservative Vatican
to which the actual Vatican was like
fucking that's obviously Salt Lake City
whatever whatever
Yeah you wish you had the hidden
Jew gold of the Vatican and the Mormons
you bozers right
So in 1989
Dobson managed to secure an interview
with notorious serial rapist
and murderer Ted Bundy
during the interview
Dobson gave Bundy a bizarrely
large amount of time
to justify his crimes,
which in the interview,
he ultimately blamed
on all the violent pornography
he'd been exposed to.
So, yes, Dobson successfully managed
to co-op the execution of a serial killer
that he became an apologist for
to promote his anti-porn activism.
Okay, if Ted Bundy was watching nothing
but Sesame Street,
the only major difference is a sillier costume
and, like, a citation needed
that we never aired.
Yeah, exactly.
So in the 90s, Dobson's focus shifted heavily to anti-LGBQ activism and the promotion of conversion therapy.
That is, torturing kids until they pretend to be straight.
In 2000, he was one of the primary drivers of the series of laws to ban gay marriage that are largely credited with delivering the White House to George W. Bush, or sorry, delivering it to the Supreme Court that then went on to give it to George W. Bush when they were done with it.
The point being that without reactionary conservatives rushing to the polls to vote for gay marriage,
fans, we'd have had a president, Al Gore, and saved the sacred timeline.
Sometimes I just randomly hop to the side in case there's a portal.
Yeah, same.
I haven't gotten lucky yet.
Me too.
I just need to get lucky ones.
Can we prune the people who voted for Nader anyway?
Just to sniff it.
So in the early 2000s, Dobson was pushed out of focus on the family, as its board believed
his increasingly political stances were imperiling the organization's tax-exempt status.
which sure as fuck seems quaint
from a quarter centuries removed
but once ousted from that leadership role
he was free to get even more bigoted
and politically active. He fought against
gay rights, he fought against AIDS relief
in Africa, he fought against women's rights,
he fought against comprehensive sex
education, he fought against contraception,
he fought against public education, and he
fought against abortion rights.
He's like some kind of primordial
evil who seated a
time loop and now his work is done.
Yeah, it really is.
What the fuck?
Yeah. Dobson was also a key figure in the rise of purity culture among evangelicals in the 90s. He was one of the leaders in that.
This is the perverse thing where like grown men sexualized little girls by having them marry their dads and promise never to fuck anybody until their dad releases their vagina with a formal contract.
He was also one of the main promoters of the breed of Christian masculinity that makes it possible for congressional candidates to list guns right alongside Jesus and babies in terms of the things that a Christian voter should care about.
to be fair, if you're going to take away everyone's rights,
you're going to need a way to enforce it.
Right. And unfortunately, the best I can offer you in terms of a happy ending here
is the fact that he did eventually die.
But he died at the age of 89, surrounded by a nation controlled entirely
by the particular breed of regressive bigotry that he helped to shape throughout his life.
The last thought that probably swirled to his fucking head was,
honestly, it was probably something like, oh my God, did I poop again?
or if we're lucky, oh wow, this hurts way more than I thought it would.
But the last non-directly death-related thought that probably swirled through his head was
I won.
Fucking time loops.
Yeah.
And as much as I'd love to end this by asking Eli what's on deck, that could get complicated if he turns out to be right.
So all I'm going to say is that I hope we see you again real soon on another installment of
Son of Obituary.
Before we shrivel back up, I want to let you know that if you want more me in your life
and you're going to be anywhere near Orlando on September 21st, you can come watch me give a tarot reading.
That Sunday, September 21st, the central Florida free thought community has invited me out to do a talk
where I'm going to give the crowd a tarot reading and along the way I'm going to expose some of the tricks
so-called psychics used to trick people, including themselves, into thinking they're psychic.
There's a suggested donation at $10 and I promise to be worth way more than that.
Check the show notes for more information.
Anyway, that's all the blasphemy we've got for you tonight,
but we'll be back in 10,000, 22 minutes with more.
If you can't wait that long,
be to look out for a brand-new episode of our sister-so's hot friend
God off of Movies Day of being a 7 Eastern on Tuesday
and even new episode of our half-sherstall citation
a day to be at noon-eastern on Wednesday.
Obviously, I'm not done until I thank Heath Enright
for being my partner in crime.
I need to thank Eli Bossi for being accomplished number two in the indictment.
I need to thank the lovely and talented Lucindililus
for being my alibi.
And I also want to thank Chad for providing this week's Farnsworth, quote,
and I want to raise a glass to all of you who outlived that font of child abuse
and want to celebrate with us, clink.
But most of all, of course, I want to think this week's sweetest sapiens,
Tom Paul, Liz, Nora, Blake, and Softie.
Tom and Paul, whose statues on our lawn can't be anatomically accurate without tipping over,
Liz and Nora, who are so wise cartoon owls bring their sucker-related questions to them,
and Blake and Softie who are so hot that can't go on glacier cruises,
which is a fucking shame because those are awesome.
Together, these six rowdy rationalists rounded out our religion ravishing revenue this week
by giving us money.
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Won't even let me start.
Yeah, name some names.
I was going to say, right?
Try it out.
Yeah.
Keith.
Wow.
Okay, it's going to be pretty funny if that happens.
See why I didn't.
gonna be pretty funny though it's funny if it's me
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