The Scathing Atheist - 659: Burning Question Edition

Episode Date: October 16, 2025

In this week’s episode, we’ll hate on the wrong way to hate wrongness, One Million Moms tells NASCAR their language is a bit too racy, and Don Ford will be here to help take the pi$$ out of an epistle. --- To make a per episode donation at Patreon.com, click here: http://www.patreon.com/ScathingAtheist To buy our book, click here: https://www.amazon.com/Outbreak-Crisis-Religion-Ruined-Pandemic/dp/B08L2HSVS8/ If you see a news story you think we might be interested in, you can send it here: [e-mail] To check out our sister show, The Skepticrat, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/the-skepticrat To check out our sister show’s hot friend, God Awful Movies, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/god-awful-movies To check out our half-sister show, Citation Needed, click here: http://citationpod.com/ To check out our sister show’s sister show, D and D minus, click here: https://danddminus.libsyn.com/ Report instances of harassment or abuse connected to this show to the Creator Accountability Network here: https://creatoraccountabilitynetwork.org/ --- Headlines: In victory for free speech, UK court overturns Qur'an-burning conviction https://www.friendlyatheist.com/p/in-victory-for-free-speech-uk-court Our favorite christofascist white rapper Michigan rep was allegedly looking for an orgy: https://www.wonkette.com/p/our-favorite-christofascist-white https://twitter.com/repjoshschriver/status/1742959025434525703 The pope condemns clickbait: https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2025/oct/10/you-wont-believe-what-degrading-practice-the-pope-just-condemned Pastor aims assault rifle at parishioners to make violent point about Christianity: https://www.friendlyatheist.com/p/a-christian-pastor-aimed-an-ar-15 One Million Moms is mad at NASCAR: https://onemillionmoms.com/current-campaigns/urge-nascar-to-cancel-its-offensive-new-brand-spot/ --- This Week in Misogyny: South Carolina law would criminalize all abortion and some contraception: https://www.thestate.com/opinion/article312481224.html UN tries to do something for women in Afghanistan: https://www.hrw.org/news/2025/10/06/un-rights-council-creates-afghanistan-accountability-body America is helping erode women’s rights worldwide: https://www.nytimes.com/2025/10/07/world/europe/athens-democracy-forum-womens-rights.html

Warning, this podcast isn't fucking around when it comes to profanity. This week's episode of The Skating Atheist is brought to you by Mint Mobile and by all the other flavors of Mobile that so frequently get overlooked. And now, the Skating Atheist. Abra-cadabra. Hocus Pocus! Hey, what are you doing? Oh, I'm just trying to turn these dirty apes into humans by using my magic spells. Oh, how's it going?

Not great, not great. Hey, were you guys able to hide those Epstein files with your magic spells? spells? We did in fact. Evolve from filthy monkey men. Oh, but you look at that. I'm no longer a monkey. Oh, hey, hey, that one worked. Check it out. Nice. It's Thursday. It's October 16th. And it's Steve Jobs Day. And no, you still can't wash your feet in the toilets.

At least you shouldn't time, no illusions. I'm Eli Bosnick. I'm Heathenright. And from Peter Dinklage's New Jersey, Ann Arbor, Michigan, and Waycross, Georgia. This is the Scaling Atheist. On this week's episode, we'll hate on the wrong way to hate on wrongness. One million moms tells NASCAR their language is a bit too. Racy.

Don Ford will be here to help us take the piss out of an epistle. But first, the diatrap. Imagine you show up to a funeral, and there's a big brought to you by Mint Mobile sign across the back of the casket. As everybody files in, you're handed a program. You've got to flip past the Mint Mobile coupons to get to the stuff. about the deceased and he finds their seat and then a mid mobile rep comes out says three sentences about the guy in the casket

and then launches into a 15 minute sales pitch for their wireless service. And of course you're sitting there thinking how the fuck is this funeral an extended ad for a fucking phone company but everybody else in there is acting like it's normal. Like it's what the cadaver would have wanted so you don't say anything

but your question is answered without even being uttered because as part of the guy's sales pitch he explains that for the last couple of years of the dude's life, they invested a significant amount of effort hounding him and relentlessly pestering him to dedicate his funeral to Mint Mobile. They even recruited close members of his own family into it. And when he didn't seem amenable, they threatened him with torture. Don't worry, it was imaginary torture. And so under the threat of imaginary torture, he relented and did agree

to have a Mint Mobile themed memorial service. Now, I should say right up front, I'm not talking about my dad's funeral. My dad didn't have a funeral. We don't really do that kind of stuff in my family. And as you might have guessed, I'm also actually not talking about Mint Mobile. I'm talking about literally the only business in America that would even dream of doing something as disgusting as hijacking a fucking funeral for a post-mortem timeshare presentation. And look, I know I've talked about this on this show before. Every time a member of my wife's family dies probably, but it never fails to amaze me how blatant these fucking goblins can be. I wasn't actually at this

funeral. Lucinda's grandpa recently passed away at the age of 95 and they had a memorial for him on Tuesday and apparently he made it to about 94 without much need for church, right? He was the kind of guy who'd tell you he was Christian when you asked his religion, but like for all we know, that was to shut you the fuck up, right? But then as he approached their twilight of his life, Christianity started hounding him or, you know, hounded him more. I'm sure they were doing it before. One daughter decided he needed to get saved quick while there was still time. And so she roped him. and a few other members of the family into like, you know, said about pestering this poor man

about their imaginary friend and the importance of dying with the right flavor of the right religion. And so knowing that it would make his extended family happy and knowing he was counting on those motherfuckers to take care of him in his advanced age, he relented. He was pestered into a church,

keeping in mind how hard it is for a person to go any fucking where at the age of 94, got baptized in the name of the Holy Spirit and got a little nice pat in the head. And for their part, the church got a captive audience at a funeral. and maybe a bit of the kid's inheritance. And look, there are levels of religious sales pitch at funerals.

Like, even the smallest is something that should be scorned, right? If anybody slipped even the smallest plug for their lawn maintenance service into a eulogy, we'd be rightly horrified. But because religion has made such a habit of it for such a long fucking time, mostly it goes unnoticed if it's small, right? So much so that even I wouldn't count on it. But holy shit, y'all, her grandpa's funeral basically had a fucking altar call. Dude asked everybody to bow their heads and then raise their hand if they weren't saved.

You know, so he could give them the hard sell later. This bullshit followed the bereave to the graveside, too, of course. At this point, it got downright belligerent. Nobody had raised their hands for his altar call, and he was pretty sure he could sense a few heathens in that crowd. So he started making it with the threats. Because, sure, Grandpa's in heaven. But if you ever want to see him again, you're going to need his special elixir that only he has. that can be yours now for the low, low price.

So don't answer yet. Now, like I said, I didn't attend this thing. As weird as it is to say, I'm still too sad to go to a funeral. I'd be mourning the wrong person, and that would be awkward. But based on Lucinda's description, I kind of wish I had. Because I would have raised my hand. And when he came to find me afterwards to see if I wanted to test drive his religion, I'd have told him the first couple of paragraphs of this fucking diatribe,

and maybe this last one as well. Look, if your worldview has merit, you wouldn't have to sneak around it, Funerals and ICU is trying to sell it to the grieving and the desperate. You could just start a fucking podcast. And the very fact that you target people when they're at the nadir of their psychological defenses is an admission that you cannot handle them at their best. The dude selling Mint Mobile at the funeral should be ashamed of himself, sure, but nowhere near as ashamed as the priest should be because, hey, at least cell service exists. They're talking about your Jesus. I interrupt this broadcast and bring you a special news bulletin.

Joining me for headlines tonight are the large and medium to my small Heath and Wright, Eli Bosnick fellas. Are you ready to size things up? Yeah, like a kid at Sears in the 90s being told they'll need the Husky section. Ready? Oh, yeah. We didn't choose the elastic waistband jeans life. The elastic waistband jeans life chose us.

All right. All right. Well, it looks like I've accidentally stumbled on to some childhood trauma or recent trauma in some instances. So we're going to take a quick break to recover. And while we do, we'll give you a word from this week. sponsor, MintMobil. Okay, what if we went to a cheeseless cheese tasting?

Nope. No. Come on. Hey, guys. What are you doing? I'm trying to get Heath to do stuff I want to do, but he's just so good at saying no. He really is. Where did you learn it, Heath? Oh, from Mint Mobile. What's Mint Mobile? If you're still overpaying for wireless,

it's time to say yes to saying no. At Mint Mobile, their favorite word is no. No. no monthly bills, no overages, no hidden fees, no BS. I don't know, Heath. How's the service? Here's why I said yes to making the switch and getting premium wireless for $15 a month. All plans come with high-speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. Use your own phone with any Mintmobile plan and bring your phone number

along with all your existing contacts. But have you actually tried it? I sure have. I became a Mint Mobile customer when they became a sponsor. Now I get the same great service for a fraction of the price. Heath, I'm sold. Where do I sign up? Ready to say yes to saying no? Make the switch at mintmobile.com slash scathing. That's mintmobile.com slash scathing. Upfront payment of $45 required, equivalent to $15 a month. Limited time, new customer offer for first three months only. Speeds may slow above 35 gigabytes on unlimited

plan, taxes and fees extra. See Mintmobile for details. All right, Heath, thanks. What if it's a soy cheese tasting? Worse. Man. And now, that's that. to the headlines. In our lead story tonight, we've got some encouraging news from our second alternate backup country last week when a UK court elected to overturn the conviction of a man who was penalized for burning a Quran, despite they're not being a law against doing that. But the first judge to hear the case said it counted as disorderly conduct and as evidence

of that fact, he pointed out that the guy burning the Quran was violently attacked during the burning and getting attacked isn't orderly at all. Yeah, exactly. Assaulted and battered guilty. And not in an orderly way either. Yeah. Okay. So what if I like hand a person a flaming Quran and a glass of water? Like how long before I can assault them if they don't use the water?

Right, right. Interesting. Now, I should get ahead of this right up front. By all appearances, the guy at the heart of this thing seems to be a Islamophobic bigot. Sure is, baby. Well, you might have suspected as much, but I want to be clear that this guy, is a bigot. There are plenty of legitimate criticisms you can make of the Islamic faith. And he does make a lot of those, but he also makes bigoted ones. And he goes on far

right UK podcast and says that 99% of rapists are Muslims and shit like that. The guy from everything I can ascertain sucks. But he didn't break any laws. And in pretending that he did, the judge who heard his case created a de facto blasphemy law. And that's the kind of shit that really needs to get overturned. Yeah. Think about how hard it is to criticize Islam wrong. This dude nailed it. He did. He did. Absolutely. And repeatedly. So, but the guy at the heart of this thing, he's named Tomit Kaskun, and he's from Turkey, but he moved to the UK as a refugee in 2022. And upon his arrival, he had some nasty shit to say about the country he just moved out of. And of course, it's authoritarian leader. So in an effort to say that shit as loudly as he could,

he went to the Turkish embassy in the UK, lit a Quran on fire, and yelled about how Islam is a religion that encourages violence. A point that honestly would have been easier to be. make if he hadn't just set the book that proves it on fire. But anyway, so while he's doing that, a predictably upset Muslim guy charges him with a knife to prove how violent his religion isn't. Now, Coxon was not hurt in the encounter, so that fucking half point for Islam. I don't know. He's welcome.

Two points for flinching. Yes. But when police showed up to arrest the knife-wielding criminal, they also arrested the victim for dressing so provocatively. Okay. Do you think the moment before you stabs something? someone for calling your religion violent. You have a moment where you're like,

this is a good counterargument. Yeah. Well, it worked pretty well at the Antifa Roundtable. No, that's true. Yeah, that's true. Calling me violent. Yeah. Anyway, so fast forward to June, and the dude is convicted of a, quote, religiously aggravated public order offense, end quote. Offense spelled the C because they're British.

The judge in this case justifies this by pointing out that the dude's a total bigot and totally hates Muslims and claims that by choosing a place where he knew there would be Muslims, he was really asking for it. But again, the police was to Turkish embassy and the thing he was protesting was the Turkish government. And then the judge read like a bunch of shit into evidence that was from later police interviews with the guy, not the stuff he was actually saying during the protest.

So to be clear, the judge was saying that what he was doing would have been legal if he hadn't been a bigot later, which isn't how law works. Also, worth pointing out, the bigoted stuff he said later, not a crime. Gross. right don't invite him to your birthday party like the only consequence you're not supposed to do for this behavior is the official law once right or invite him to the party and do a consequence like lots of pranks are technically legal most of them we've learned that well not most of elize but you know 10 years in we have learned that and look it's awkward when you got to defend the bigot guy heath oh what Am I defending the bigot or am I the big it is?

What happened there? But if there's a conviction on the book that says this guy criticized a religion wrong and had to pay a fine, that's going to have a damn chilling effect on people's ability to publicly criticize religion in the U.K., which could, among other things, really fuck up the final QED, where yours truly will be a main stage speaker, just announced, get excited. First, alternate still counts. And honestly, maybe this isn't lead story material since it doesn't directly impact most of our listeners, but you're going to have to forgive us for taking a special interest in how English-speaking countries

or treating atheist refugees from countries overtaken by authoritarian strongmen wielding theocracies their fascism of choice for the next few years, I think. Yeah. Also, I still get to stand outside of Greggs and explain that their large meal deal isn't actually five pounds, right? I get to do that. Yes. You got that feud going with Greg's coffee still? It's not five pounds.

It's not five pounds. It's not five pounds. It says on the sign, it's five pounds. Liars. All right. And in Klanier West News, we have a story about Michigan's favorite white rapper and Christian Wright Bigot. Kid Rock is going to be furious to learn that I'm talking about Michigan State Representative Joshua Shriver. Oh, I remember. That guy.

Yup, that guy. It's about him. The story about Josh is going to follow the same pattern we keep seeing over and over. It goes something like this. Christian Bigot politician. pushes for a bigot law. The internet finds a not at all shocking revelation about enormous hypocrisy in the bigot's past behavior.

And of course, then the bigot lies and tries to claim like, I don't know, Antifa is running a conspiracy against him or something like that. In this case, the bigot law would completely outlaw all of pornography in the state of Michigan, not just for kids, everyone, like full ban.

Okay, I'm feeding this into our irony machine. it will turn out that his name before he changed it was bang bus brazzers. How'd I do? Pretty close. Look, I only know it when I see it, so I have to see all of it to know what to ban. Obviously. He doesn't know about constitutional law. So the law introduced by Joshua is called the Anti-Corruption of Public Morals Act.

And it goes way beyond a ban on porn sites. it would ban any pornographic material in any form of media, including video, animated video, audio, and writing. So wait, wait, like describing a cock or pornographic asky art, I really need to know. He's going for everything. Okay. Of course, the word pornographic is defined by fucking Josh and his fellow Christian right lunatics in the Michigan house. And their definition includes language that would make any depiction of just transexistence illegal. pornographic or not, it will

makes a big list of stuff that counts as illegal porn, including quote, a depiction, description, or simulation, whether real animated, digitally generated, written or auditory that includes a disconnection between biology and gender

by an individual of one biological sex imitating, depicting, or representing himself or herself to be of the other biological sex by means of a combination of attire, cosmetology, or prosthetics, or as having a reproductive nature contrary to the individual's biological sex.

And that quote. Wow. I'm sorry, wait. The anti-porn movement wasn't actually about exploited women and was really about Christian bigotry and enforcement of gender stereotypes the whole time. Who could have possibly warned of this repeatedly? I like the idea that Josh got home and his wife was like,

hey, honey, is your definition of pornography trans people? Because that says something about you. You know that says something about it. So you know how you can't look at a trans person? person without getting hard. Thinking that it's pornography. Yes, right. I can't imagine he's married.

There's no way somebody lives with this guy. He's the fucking worst. Maybe he is, though. Wouldn't surprise me either. Anyway, before we get to the hypocrisy reveal that I was talking about, just a little background on Josh as a reminder. He thinks white people are being phased out of American existence in a great replacement. That's fun.

If only Josh. If only. when the Michigan House voted 105 to 4 to recognize Juneteenth as a state holiday. Josh was, yep, you guessed it, in the 4. He was 1 of 4. I thought of him just raising his hands and feet at the same time.

There was a bill to ban child marriage. Josh voted against that. Huh. Oh, came out on the wrong side of that one, huh? He missed that one. Yeah, he said he actually argued that kids need to get married, be able to get married because otherwise they might have premarital sex.

Yep. He got mad about a statue of baffemit on the state capital grounds in Lansing, and he rebuked it super hard in a video where he yelled, I rebuke you. The statue of baffirmed held its ground. So he's kind of bad at rebuking, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, great. There's a delicious moment in that video where he looks like he expected something to happen, really kind of steps half away from it

and he goes, God. A little lightning boat? A little explosion. I rebuke you guys. Did anything happen? No, okay. All right. I wanted to do a slow walk away, but I can't hear anything happening. I threw a match behind me. I don't think that helps. He just went out in the snow.

There's nothing. He also A walk a lonely brook. He also, seriously, this is real. He posted on Facebook the mouth and anus are not reproductive organs. Depends on what you want to reproduce.

Yeah, good point, good point. He added the sin releases plagues of disease, promiscuity, and perversion in our local communities. Repent, yield to Christ, be fruitful, and multiply. Shit, accidentally posted my warm-up

dirty talk to the wife. Damn it, oh. America, ignore that. Ignore that, it's not for you. Imagine your day where you're just like, you know what, I'm going to hop on Facebook and say that the mouth and anus are not, like, what the fuck is it? Who many people are using butts for reproduction?

Nailed it. All right. Back to my other activities, rebuking stuff. Okay, that brings us to the new revelation. According to the Metro Times, Josh had an account on one of those live webcam, porn and hookup sites where you can, you know, find sex and get laid tonight. Obviously, he's an idiot who got very angry when it turned out there were not. horny women in his area. But there's nothing wrong with being on a porn site. And when he got confronted about this hypocrisy last week, considering his anti-porn bill, he could have just said, yeah, I used to watch porn and now I think it's bad. But instead, he's a panicky sociopath. So he wrote a very angry email to the Metro Times saying the records that they have about his porn account

were forged. So, okay, they're not. They're not. Just to be clear, the records included his is email address, which is from AOL.com. Hell yeah, King. You and me, Josh, holding the fucking line. Which was also connected to a bunch of other accounts, including a MySpace account full of super Joshy-looking stuff on that MySpace account. So the forgery theory, that would invite, like the Forger would have to do like a pretty serious, lots of moving parts, sci-fi endeavor to make that all.

We're a really long con, right? Just a really long, one of these days kind of con. Again, I just can't get over the fact that my favorite part of this story is that we found the one real person I have ever heard of being on adult friend finder.com. And it's exactly who I expected to be on adult friend finder. When you're like, who is this for? Him, Josh, Shriver, the white rapper of the Michigan House and the GOP. Yep. All right.

One other detail. When I looked up, Josh, on Wikipedia to get a refresher, it said, this article is part of a series on Christian nationalism in the United States. And they have a section for, you know, like, if you enjoyed this neo-Nazi, you might also enjoy, and it had links to Lauren Boberts page. And Michael Flynn and Marjorie Taylor Green, Josh Hawley, Russell Vote, and Pete Hagseth, among others. I bet Michael Flynn resents that list. I bet he's like, I'm a spy, okay? But I leave you any of this shit. I fucking betrayed

my country for money. I could be any religion. You don't know. I threw a smoke bomb just now. Make me hang out with Lauren Boberts. Honestly, though, that list bears a striking resemblance to my suggested videos on Amazon Prime now at this

point. Someone started watching the war on children. Our algorithms are insane. Yeah. Also, I got a reminder about the worst rap song of all time. Josh is, I'm pretty sure, triple auto-tuned, the conservative code. That's C-O-D-E, and it stands for something stupid about, like, being Republican.

So that video of his, it's one of those videos for me, those like happy video where, like, if you're sad, you go watch it. You know, Bulldogs from Eli, the bigot, getting the twisted tea to the face. Sure, right. Of course, the entire press conference at four seasons total landscaping in its entirety, while Giuliani leaks oil. out of the side of his head and of course Josh trying to wrap so link in the notes

if you want to add that to your list of happy time videos not the Bulldog videos for that you got to subscribe to the TikTok curation service

called being a number in my phone I feel honestly I feel like the video of Heggseth not checking himself with the skateboard really needs to be added

to the rotation it's great yeah it sure is you know the thing that makes me sad is when I watch real videos of Pete Hegzeth he's not doing the

heath the trunk voice and it upsets me it's like when I see real Sarah, some of me is. That's true. And in Pope Bob news, we've made it through a few popes on our program by now, and they all seem to follow the same news cycle. They get elected, everyone talks about how progressive and great they are, they reveal themselves to be unrepentant bigots who think they can literally talk to God, and then everyone stops talking about them until they die. Well, luckily for the Catholic Church, Pope Bobby is still in that first cycle, which means in a world

of war, strife, murder, and death. He took the time to condemn clickbait news headlines this week. So we're going to talk about it. No, but to be fair, he had to find a sin to condemn that his church didn't also do. Right? Like, he's probably spent this whole time

trying to narrow down that fucking list. Pope told he can't pown the media with this one simple trick. Then this happened. Okay. Keith's giant pin in the joke that you just wrote for our podcast, giant pen. You already have cancer if you see these.

Right. So first off, big thanks to Stormy Dean for sending us this story, along with the suggested pun of papal priorities nuts to scathing news at gmail.com. Well done. Stormy's pun was so fantastic. I couldn't bring myself to pretend even for a moment to have thought of it myself. But you needn't be the puns person Stormy is to join the fun. Send us atheist news to scathing news at gmail.com. And you too can be.

thanked on our show. Most thankfully, Scathing News at gmail.com. The longer we use that email, the less involved Eli's promised rewards are, right? Because it turns out that, hey, possum nipple pizza is exactly as hard to outsource as somebody told him it would be. Okay. We're turning up.

We're turning up the promises. Note taken. No. Right. So, quick reminder, Pope is the head of a child rape cabal. He lives in a city made of Nazi gold. And in the last 10 years, hundreds of baby corpses have been discovered in mass graves run by his church. So it makes sense when praising the media this week, he had the following to say, quote,

communication must be freed from the misguided thinking that corrupts it. I said from my proclamation balcony in my city of gold, wearing a cotton candy holder as a hat and waving my sector of God. Misguided thinking can corrupt communication. Uh-huh. He continues, from unfair competition and the degrading practice of so-called clickbait, free access to information is a pillar that upholds the edifice of our societies. And for this reason, we are called to defend and guarantee it, not adding,

except for all the stuff we have in our library. That's secret and only our city of secret virgin child molesters can keep that. Yeah, right, right. Also, I'm sorry, but the idea that news should be free as part of the fucking problem. Who the fuck is going to pay the journalists if all the journalism is free? Yeah, exactly. No idea. Wait, have you guys heard of bamboo rayon? It is the holy grail of... I only want the best in class bang

right on, okay, but imagine trying to do this show on nothing but ad money. Yeah. Right? We'd all be delivering fucking DoorDash as we were recording. And look, I'm not going to lie to you. A lot of what Pope Bobby had to say

about the free press and AI and the importance of journalism is stuff that I agree with. But the source makes all of that language kind of dishonest at best. Right? This is the church. that has spent the last couple hundred years

preventing journalists from reporting on their activities, right? If there are multiple Oscar-winning movies about the times journalists managed to defy you, you'll forgive me if I don't take your commitment to freedom of speech particularly seriously. Well, A, if you want to demonstrate said

commitment to open information, how about you let one of the independent auditors that examined your handling of the child rape cover-up release their report? Yeah, just let them out of them. I'm not asking that all of them get to. we'll all click on it one other thing

about this story if I can pull that pin out from earlier Heath because I got to give credit where credit is due the article Stormy sent us about this story

is from the Guardian and the headline of the article is you won't believe what degrading practice the Pope just condemned that's excellent and that is the actual

reason I clicked on it so in all appreciation of a meta bit congrats to the Guardian and to the Pope here's hoping his money is where his mouth is. Assuming his mouth isn't on an underage boy.

And quick before that can turn into an image in your head, we're going to hand things over to my lovely wife, Lucinda. A man wrote the Bible. A horse, which is what's smart? If it's a legitimate race. It's a slut, right? Cooking can be fine. Hey, I'm glad of a man.

This week in misogyny. I think it's safe to say that whenever you don't hear from me for a couple of weeks, it's not because there was no misogyny. If anything, the news cycle these days gives me choice paralysis. A fact that'll be reflected in how far flung the stories we're talking about today are. So we're going to start in South Carolina, which I know it doesn't seem that far flung, given that it literally borders the state that I'm in. But you have to fling from somewhere.

So it turns out that South Carolina's legislature is looking for ways to make their abortion laws even more draconian, which if you know anything about how bad South Carolina's abortion laws already are is almost impressive. But this new measure, Senate Bill 323, would do away with the existing exemptions for rape, incest, and fetal deformity. It would also outlaw the manufacturer, distribution, and possession of drugs intended to cause abortions. But that's just the warm-up to the fact that it would make having an abortion a felony subject to up to 30 years in prison, on par with murder charge. Hell, this bill is so bad that I don't even have room to discuss us its efforts to make contraception illegal, but they're there.

Now, the bill sponsors call it a logical next step after passing their already handmaid's-tale-esque heartbeat bill. Of course, that's incorrect because the logical next step after passing a law like that is repelling it. But if you're on the anti-abortion side, it's kind of hard to argue otherwise. I mean, call me conspiratorial, but there's something about the we think it's murder, but we'd never dream of punishing the women that had them line that always struck me as disingenuous. at least half of that sentence has to be a lie, but in reality, both halves. And from there, we'll fling this segment over to the South Carolina of Central Asia, Afghanistan, where I think we can all agree women's rights aren't doing great.

Since the Taliban retook control, women's rights have been eroding as fast as women's rights in America under Trump. Yes, I can't really cast stones. But there's actually good news on that front. Earlier this month, the UN created a committee specifically tasked with investigating abuses of women's rights in the Taliban-led country. Of course, it's the UN, so they're not going to actually be able to do anything. And I'm sure that women who have been stripped of their rights to learn and vote and work and participate in society won't take much comfort in it. But it's still important. The idea is that this group will be putting together and preserving all the evidence that would be needed to convict people of war crimes and crimes against humanity in it.

international courts. And if that does nothing but isolate the perverse folks driving this persecution, at least it's doing that. Yeah, sorry, when I promised good news on this segment, you shouldn't expect much. But I want to close on something even worse. See, the whole reason the UN thing can matter is because Afghanistan ultimately wants to be part of the international community. And the international community has made a modicum of gender equality a minimum for full participation. But the New York Times ran a really depressing piece last week that showed how the retreat from women's rights in the U.S. is leading to a worldwide erosion. And that should surprise no one. Commitment to women's rights has long

been one of the best proxies for a nation's commitment to democracy. And with hopes that that chilled your bones as much as it was supposed to, I'll wrap things up and hand you back over to Noah, Heath, and Eli. Thank you, Lucinda. And in trigger warning news, in the past, I've equated religion to a spiritual shakedown, right? These pastors, they bring people in, they fill in their heads with esoteric threats to demons and hellfire, and then they ask them for money. And when you threaten people and then you ask for money to alleviate that threat, we normally call that mugging that person. So using that logic, I've said things like passing the collection plate is just a mugging without a gun. But in light of the story that I'm about to tell you, I want to formally and.

publicly take that back, because sometimes there is a gun. Like during a September 28th sermon by Harrisburg, Pennsylvania pastor Philip Thornton, during which he repeatedly pointed an AR-15 directly at his congregation. Yeah, I was going to make a joke about them ruining our metaphors, but then I remembered how often the preachers fuck kids. And I was like, oh, you know what, we're already I'm cool with phasing that one out of our, you know, metaphors toolbox. Sure. Yeah. So, yeah, so in their response to the outrage that this obviously caused, the church insisted that people who are criticizing the sermon are taking it out of context. But he was aiming a real gun at people's faces. Doesn't fucking matter what kind of message you were trying to send with it.

It doesn't matter what the gun was supposed to represent. You're pointing it at people's faces, children's faces, not even just the people who chose to listen to your homicidal brain fungus. And I will admit to not knowing a hell of a lot about guns, but when asked about it by local news, gun safety experts were at least as incredulous about this shit as I was. Yeah, the argument that you're responsible enough to point a red, white, and blue America-themed AR-15 at children is counteracted by the act of you doing that. Or even owning that, yeah. Or being a pastor.

Yep, I have one of those, though. It's pretty cool. But to be clear, though, the context is also stupid. Not that it matters, but the point he was making was about how people evangelizing their faith need to be more like soldiers clearing out an active battle zone and making sure every single person gets saved. So, yes, the gun was metaphorically getting rid of non-believers, which I'm guessing is worse than whatever you expected it to be before I told you about the fucking context.

Context literally makes it worse. It's very easy to read the whole thing as a call to violence. And even if you give them the benefit of the doubt on that, the message is still, you need to be more of an asshole to people who aren't like you. yeah also who thinks fucking the massacre at my lie is a good metaphor for salvation and then is all the women are laying in the dish you're saving irrespective of race age or gender saving saving saving you okay pastor I'm a pastor

Eli's crazy sketch just now not that different from what I should happen no it really is so like true, there's a, there's a video of this assault rifle themed sermon. It's truly unhinged. At one point, the pastor does a little skit along with his tactical camouflage buddy who also has a rifle. And they mime themselves breaking into a room with with their guns and like proper opsec, you know, like they're on an operation and doing the hand signals for like red team go. They're doing that shit. It's truly indistinguishable from eight year old kids playing with fake guns, except it's real grownups with real guns, and one of them

is a pastor who controls a fucking open mic every Sunday, and they just have to let him use the stage, so he does his little skits. And also, I want to point out that despite giving his whole big, fucking hairy man speech about how you need to be willing to stand up for your faith in your beliefs like a soldier on the front lines, since this story

broke, the motherfucker's been hiding from the press. His church isn't answering its phone, and apparently when the local news sent folks to his house to ask him about it, he pretended not to be home. So just another quick reminder that people who tell you how tough they are are almost always lying.

Yup. We can see you in there. No, you can't. I heard you and see you. Well, then who turned off to TV? Who turned off to TV? We're doing the eye thing at each other. Pull my side arm and I did it back to me by accident.

And finally tonight in NASCARNANGE news. Here's the scathing atheists. We get emails on a pretty regular basis asking us why we haven't condemned. this or that silly person on the left, and the reasons for that are numerous. The bad behavior being described is often that of an unempowered individual rather than a government. The behavior in question is rarely motivated by religion, and this is an atheism podcast. But the truth is, no matter how ridiculous the bad behavior of some of the left

is, it will never hold a candle to the dumbassery of the right, which is why this week we're going to talk about one million moms being mad at NASCAR for their new Catchphrase, hell yeah. Hey, you know what? If it gets in gosh, we trust on our money, maybe I just back them up on this one. Ooh, yeah, get in there. Okay. I just did today another scan of the One Million Mom's website to check if they're satire.

Again, just to be sure. You just have to keep doing it every month. Yes. They're not satire. They're real. They're not. So for those of you unfamiliar with One Million Moms, they're a parent activist group with way less than a million moms.

Their current Twitter following is just over 4,000 users, making our very own Heath Enright, twice the number of moms they are. Yes. Yeah. No, there are a million moms to the same extent that Thousand Island dressing is an archipelago, okay? And by the way, two of their followers are Tim and Corey Booker. Yeah, right. So it's probably way under 4,000 if you take away the ironic followers. It's probably like near zero.

Okay. So OMM, 1 million moms, spends their time creating useless petitions objecting to everything from implied swearing to the existence of gay people. And this week, they're mad about that first thing. Here's what they had to say. Quote, in preparation for the 2026 season, NASCAR approved a new branding and marketing campaign promoting a return to its roots and a reconnection with blue collar fans. NASCAR's new advertisement will include profanity that conservatives find completely unnecessary.

Their ad spot plans to include the profane slogan, Hell, yeah. And in America, we take our holy punishment that's been a punchline to a Bugs Bunny cartoon since the 1940s. Seriously, darn it. Okay. Obviously, they're objecting to the word hell. But there's a decent chance that yeah is also a problem for the moms, right?

Oh, no question. No question. Every one million mom when you ask to go to the bathroom says, I don't know, can you? Yeah, right. They have a hayas for horses problem with it. Yeah, it's a bit flip, isn't it? Exactly.

Offensive. They continue, the ad campaign has not yet launched, but in a recent interview with Ad Week, NASCAR announced the hiring of 72 and Sunny, advertising agency, to, quote, reintroduce its brand in a way that plays up its rebellious, unapologetic, Americana roots,

satisfying its core fan base while reaching new audiences, end quote. NASCAR hopes this move will put the sport back at the center of American culture, as an iconic brand. Okay, all right. Hey, idea. If they want to play up

their rebelliousness, they should put like right turn-only signs all along the track. Right? You want to play up the Americana. Get the Cracker Barrow guy

onto your logo. Yes. He's just flapping around on the hood. Yeah. Get it out there. So here's where OMM really takes them to task.

Quote, NASCAR's new brand spot, hell yeah, is the biggest oxymoron there is. There is nothing, yeah, about hell since it is a... Okay, they are objecting to Yale a little bit.

I was 100% joking, but nope. Since it is a place of tormented anguish. Sadly, when a driver wins a race, the phrase is often the first thing spoken through the helmet microphone, exposing families, including children, to this foul language. This has prompted some fans

to stop watching all together. Okay. Hey, if you're ever tasked with finding America's worst person, like just start your starting pool is people who quit watching nascar to protest the drivers saying hell right just start there okay i'm skipping straight to stephen miller but yeah that's a good sister okay he probably did that's a good he's cheating that's cheating hey side note can we just have everyone from the democrats anyway running on the platform of jailing these people just like a big announcement with all the prominent democrats they're all on stage just like

hey, Stephen. Also, Christine Ome, Cash Patel, Pamela, you and everyone in ICE, every single person in ICE, you're all going to jail when we take power again. You're all definitely going to go to jail. Like, announce you have to quit ICE right now, or you're definitely part of the big trials that are coming up. Just do that. Sure. We don't even have to be able to pull it off. Just the threat of it could be something. It would be something. I was telling a fun, we were having fun. Anyway, some lady was mad about NASCAR saying, and yeah. Thank you.

They conclude Interruptor. Interruptor. Topic changer. Quote. NASCAR has deliberately decided to bruise controversial branding instead of wholesome ones.

One million moms finds this highly inappropriate shame on NASCAR executives who air races during prime time when most families are watching. How damaging and destructive to children! Exclamation point. Everyone knows kids repeat what they hear

so NASCAR should be much more. responsible in its marketing decisions. Let NASCAR know that as a parent, you are disgusted by their recent marketing choices. There are only a few races left in the 2025 season. 72 and Sunny tentatively plans to debut the new hell yeah ads around the 26th Daytona 500 in February of 2026. Let's speak out and let our voices be heard before this happens.

End quote. We are, of course, on the one million mom's mailing list. So I replied to this with hell no, but they haven't answered that. Oh. Okay. While I was doing that satire, recheck, I saw they're also running a campaign against a progressive insurance ad that shows a locker room, like at a gym with topless old men and also implies bottomless old men.

And, okay, I'm against this practice that mostly old men do in gym locker rooms. They just... Disagree. They hang out for out. Like, they talk to you while they're completely naked. That's not, nothing's crazy. They're just talking to you normal. I love doing this.

You have, this is my lifetime. Are you one of the people? Just doing full naked in the locker rooms? Of course. And talking to people? Yeah. Of course you are. Okay.

Well, here's the thing. If you take down that commercial, you lose the PSA. So if they're against that, they should be like for the PSA of the commercial and something. Also, very importantly, you can submit examples of lewd media that need a crusade of Yelly moms to shut it down. You can submit that at. 1 million moms.com slash report hyphen issue.

Serious inquiries only. Yes, exactly. So, yeah, we'll see if NASCAR responds to the millionth of a mom, but I hope this story is a good reminder that whenever leftist online spaces feel full of infighting and bichiness, purity tests, and call-out culture,

we will never reach a fraction of the insufferability of online Christians. Yeah. And with that important reminder, we're going to round out the headlines for the night. Heath, Eli, thanks as always. Qimaji. And when we come back, Don will regale us with fantasy

and adventure. You've got to use the grab attack. I do use it. No, no, no. It's like the one core mechanical difference between Hades and Hades 2 is the grab attack. Oh, okay. You guys excited for FIFA? You know what? Fuck, you guys.

Hey, guys. Awesome game. You ready for Bible Peace Theater? Just in time. Oh, hey, Don. When did you get here? Long ago and very far away. You know what?

It doesn't. You're here. That's all that matters. Aw. Eli said I could do it, Don Ford Spooktacular. Yeah, he's just trying to get out of the rest of Romans. He's right, I am. But you said my version of Patrick's stars, Erica Kirk, was Oscar-worthy.

It was, Don. It was. Okay, where were we in Romans? We were talking about salvation. Oh, let me guess the answer is Jesus. Yep. Yep. Let's head back to the cave.

And remember to believe in Jesus, extra hard or no heaven for you, okay? Hey, Paul. Are you still working on that letter? Yep, yeah. Cool. Anything new? Or interesting in any way.

Okay. I'll have you guys know that I'm working some of the Bible. best poetry into this book. Are you, though? Oh, yeah. No, everyone agrees. I mean, listen to this. How then shall they call on him in whom they have not believed?

And how shall they believe in him of who they have not heard? And how shall they hear without a preacher? And how shall they preach except they be sent as it is written? How beautiful are the feet of them that preach the gospel of them that preach the gospel of peace and bring glad tidings of good things. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. What was the last part? Yeah, I got a little Christopher walk in there in the middle. I heard it. I heard it. No, no, man. The foot thing. Oh, yeah. No, I just thought I'd throw in a little something in there

for the foot fans. After all, I do have pretty sweet feet. Do you? Oh, yeah. I mean, look at them. They're fine. I've had a ten at best. I mean, I also don't know. Weird man. You're weird. Hey, Paul. Oh, hey guys, what's up? We have another question about this predestination stuff you've been talking so much about. Yeah, yeah, what about it?

Yeah, if Jews are the chosen people, but now you need Jesus to be saved, does that mean they aren't chosen anymore? Oh, I was actually just writing about this in the letter. No, so the Jews are still chosen. It's just that now God has chosen them as the people. to see nothing, hear nothing, and know nothing. Oh, wow. Well, that's quite a shift.

I mean... Yeah, well, yeah, I know. That's why God gave salvation to Gentiles first, to make the Jews jealous. To make them jealous. Yeah, yeah, but don't worry. Everyone in Israel will be saved eventually. But actually, it's only for their ancestors' sake.

Wait, so God made the Jews blind to Jesus, but they'll all eventually accept him as part of his... covenant with the Jews? Yeah, I mean, look, everyone knows that everyone who doesn't believe in God is only doing it so that they can believe in God again later.

That's psychotic. That they're doing it for like a dramatic tension thing, guys. Dramatic tension. Where the ending is spelled out in the book. I mean, sure, but how many Jews are going to read this? It's not a bank statement, am I right? Yikes. Too far?

I felt it. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, guys. Oh, hey, Paul. So, I know you were feeling pretty down about some of the stuff I wrote in my super sweet letter. I mean, yeah, that's pretty much true, yeah. Okay, so I wrote a bunch of stuff that I know you guys are going to like,

like about being generous and helping the poor and being hospitable. Right, yeah, that stuff's all great, but you spent the whole first half of your letter telling people in no one's certain terms that none of that really matters. Yeah. Like, you just said that they can do all that stuff, but if they don't believe in Jesus, they'll still go to hell. Yeah. Oh, yeah, definitely. Sorry, do you think I should clarify that here as well? You mean, like after the section on doing good stuff? You mean the right thing? Yeah, like explicitly. No. I'm going to toss it in there so people don't get confused. I am going to. Great. Great. Yeah.

Okay, I got the section that is going to cheer you guys up. Okay, what is it now, Paul? Okay, what if we tell everybody to pay their taxes? What? Pay their taxes? Seriously? Yeah, so I was thinking, God must love kings wherever there's a king. Otherwise, he'd have smited them.

So make sure to pay your taxes. Okay, so just to be clear, good deeds do not matter. generosity, kindness, all those things are laudable, but pointless. But God has appointed all the kings, and people should pay taxes. Yes. What you're doing here. Hey, you get like, you're like punched a lot? I do, yeah.

Okay, guys, I definitely have something you're going to like this time. Do you? Okay. You guys like the Ten Commandments? Nothing in there about rape. That's not God in there. Okay. Well, sorry, I thought you guys were going to say yes.

So get a little more excited because that's okay, because I cut the commandments down to five. Okay, which are they? Thou shall not commit adultery, thou shaltry, thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, thou shalt not bear false witness, and thou shalt not covet. Okay, there's still nothing about rape in there.

This is the good part. Are you ready? and if there be any other commandment it is briefly comprehended in this saying namely thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself love worketh no ill to his neighbor therefore love is the fulfilling of the law so six commandments

I mean the other list has the wrong number two that's true yes man this book is really repetitive tell me about it don okay but trust me you guys are going to love the next chapter really of the bible yeah i love it because this next chapter

of the bible is all about being nice to vegans there's a chapter of the bible about being nice to vegans yeah let him which eateth not judgeth him that eateth Uh, I mean, no. It is good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine, nor anything whereby thy brother stumbeth, or is offended, or is made weak.

Meat doesn't, not weak, no. Emotionally weak, psychologically. So, Eli, this chapter is about undoing Old Testament, like, Deuteronomical Food Commandments. So it's not about being vegan. Also, also, let he, who eats, herbs, choose the restaurant.

You guys can find something good on the menu. That's in the Bible, what you just said? Cool. So, I'll just look that up real quick. Don't! In conclusion, I would really like to come visit you. Say hey to Phoebe for me

and Mary. Oh, and fuck, if you're going to say hi to people, I think you should probably say hi to Junia. She's in a apostle. I'm sorry, wait. Junia is an apostle? What the fuck is that? It does matter. She gets a shout out in the Bible. That's the only time we're talking about her. Hey, make sure you kiss when you see each other also. Dude, toothbrushes won't be invented for like such a long time here.

I said big old smooches on the mouth is what I said. And anyone who doesn't want to kiss is defying God. And actually, now that I think about it, they hate him. and they only think of themselves. Plus, I'm the only one who can say anything about Jesus, the end. And that is Paul's letter to the Romans. Huh. Got it. Not a lot in there, huh?

Well, story-wise, no, but theologically speaking, it's pretty important. It really solidifies the idea of predestination, damnation, faith over works. So, like, all the worst parts. Mm-hmm. Yeah, pretty much, yeah. Okay, what's next? First Corinthians. What's that?

Well, it's Paul's letter to the church in Corinth. Basically, he's telling him everything they've gotten wrong since he left. Oh, my mom sends me those emails. Exactly, yeah. So, interestingly, this is the first Pauline epistle with a known Emanuensis. Oh, interesting. Yeah, interesting. You don't know what an Emanuensis is, do you?

I do not. Yeah, no, it means a scribe, but it's like a... it's more official because you're taking down parts of the Bible or another important text. So maybe just say that. Anyway, anyway, this letter is being written down by Sosthenes, who, if you'll remember, got his ass kicked in acts. Oh, yeah. He was like the Jesus story, but with kicks in the nuts instead. Exactly, yeah.

So shall we jump in? Sure. Thanks so much for the clarification, Paul. No problem. After all, I want everyone to be ready for when Jesus comes back. Oh, of course. And when will that be? Oh, we're tackling that right up here at the...

Yeah. Soon. Soon. Like days or weeks or months? Or what are we talking to? I think we're going to be wrong about that enough times in this book, and it's best not to nail down a specific time in this particular. Okay, got it.

So, hey, what needs clarification? since I left. Okay, so people are a little confused about who they're saved by. Some people are saying they're saved by Christ. Few are saying they're safe by you. And like four guys are saying they're saved by Apollos. Who the fuck is Apollos? Oh, he's one of the guys who was preaching with you back in Acts or whatever. Oh my God. I'm supposed to remember all those guys? I mean, apparently, sir. Also, they're going to make up some new ones as well. Oh, that's confusing. Okay. Either way, everyone is baptized. in the name of Jesus, not the person who baptized you.

Okay, what about you? Did you baptize yourself in the name of Jesus or what? No, no, Jesus baptized me, I don't know, in his own name, I guess. Okay, okay. So, nobody can be baptized in a name other than Jesus or themselves except for Jesus, right? And John the Baptist. Okay, got it. That's clear, right?

That doesn't, that feels. Oh, no, no, that totally, totally. Okay, cool You tell me if it wasn't clear All right, so Thetans, it's time for some wisdom It's Sassanista Sothens Sosthenes

Fendthes Why would you even start with a different letter? You know what? This doesn't matter. Let's not do this. Look, I want to hit the Corinthians with this, all right? Listen to this. The only way to become wise is to be a fool. Oh, actually, a bit of Socrates. in there, sir.

Right? It's like, I know nothing except for Christ. Oh, indeed, sir. That's good. Like, what's a bird? I don't know. All I do know is Jesus.

Okay, I think we got it. I'm an idiot for... Are you making fun of me now, sir? That's a little much. No, that was... I was doing problematic. I felt it, though, and I'm pulling it back. Yeah, this is probably best.

All right, sir, uh, some questions about fornicators. Oh, yeah. Hey, I heard one of you guys is having sex with his stepmom? Uh, what? No, there's, there is one, sir. Okay, well, that's fucking gross. Okay, don't, well, don't do that. In fact, you know what, give that guy to Satan and destroy his body.

Oh, got it, sir. Avoid all fornicators. Okay, well, okay, relax. I didn't say, avoid all fornicators. just the believers who fornicate. So non-believing fornicators are okay. Sure. I mean, who else are you going to fuck?

Oh, that's a good point. All right. Next up, there's been a bit of legal troubles between believers. Do they take each other to regular court? Or is there like some kind of supreme court or? No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. Listen, listen.

Never take a. another believer to court. Oh man, we really aren't Jewish anymore, are we? Exactly. Look, we're going to judge the whole world someday. Okay, we're going to be the judge of the angels someday. We can't be judged by normal courts. We're going to judge the angels? We are. Yeah, we sure are. I wonder what that will be like, what that will be like, what that will be. So, to be clear, you ate the turduckin with the bones. Bones are the best part. Yep, guilty.

Guilty. Whatever version of guilty we can do, I voted. Come on. It wasn't even a dog. And on that note, we're going to call things for the month, but we'll be back soon with even more. Bible peace theme. Before we slither back to our rock, I want to confirm that, yes, I will be given my talk on taro at this year's QED. Yes, it's sold out, but digital tickets are still available so you can watch my talk, plus my panel,

and I think Heath's doing a panel, and Heath, Eli, and I are all going to be doing incredulous together. Definitely worth checking out at QEDCON.com. Anyway, that's all the blasphemy we've got for you tonight, but we'll be back in 10,000, 22 minutes with more. If can't wait that long, be on look up for a brand-new episode of our sister show, The Skeptocrat, debuting at 7 Eastern on Monday and an even new episode of our sister's hot friend got open movies

debuting a 7 Eastern on Tuesday and an even newer episode or our half sisters solicitation needed debuting at noon Eastern on Wednesday. Somehow I say that worse every time I say it. Obviously, it wouldn't feel

very episode full of if I neglected to thank Heath Inray for being awesome, lucent illusions for being awe-inspiring, Eli Bosnick for being award-worthy and Don Ford for being aw-shucks charming. I also want to thank Alton

for providing this week's Farnsworth quote. Incidentally, if you said it a little weird to yourself, it's because I changed the audio a bit to differentiate the voices a little more but great job. But most of all, of course, I want to thank this week's best bipeds, Victoria, Matthew, CS, Lil Buccaroo, Brian and M. Victoria and Matthew, whose IQs are too high to pass a field sobriety test, CS and Lil, who are so bright cutting them off in traffic councils and eclips,

and Brian and M who are so hot, they have to apologize to global warming activists. Together, these six deceptively dangerous disbelievers daint to donate to our disassembly of DFF at dupery this week by giving us money. Not everybody has the money it takes to do that shit, but if you do, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash scathing whereby you own early access to an extended every version of every episode or you can make a one-time donation

by clicking on the donate button on the right side of the homepage at scathingadies.com. And if you'd like to help but you can't do it financially, you can also help a ton by leaving a five-star review, telling a friend about the show and following us on social media. And speaking of social media, Tim Robertson handles that for us, and our audio engineer is Morgan Clark,

who also wrote all the music that was used in this episode, which was used with permission. If you have questions, comments or death threats, or find all the contact info on the contact page at scathingathingatius.com. Am I still Patrick Warburton just aside or is this a different guy? Sure, yeah. Okay.

Or Patrick stars, Erica Kirk, because... Yeah, yeah, whatever you want to do, follow your heart. Love the art carry you. All right. This content is canned credentialed, which means you can report instances of harassment, abuse, or other harm at their hotline at 617-249-4-25 or on their website at creator-accountabilitynetwork.org. The preceding podcast was a production of Puzzle and a Thunderstorm LLC.

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