The Scathing Atheist - 693: Falsie Tulsi Edition

Episode Date: June 25, 2026

In this week’s episode, Tulsi Gabbard is in a cult worse than conservatism, Dusty Deevers rides off sadly into the sunset with tumbleweed rolling past, and we’ll once again learn the importance of not f**king.---To make a per episode donation at Patreon.com, click here: http://www.patreon.com/ScathingAtheistTo buy our book, click here: https://www.amazon.com/Outbreak-Crisis-Religion-Ruined-Pandemic/dp/B08L2HSVS8/If you see a news story you think we might be interested in, you can send it here: [e-mail] check out our sister show, The Skepticrat, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/the-skepticratTo check out our sister show’s hot friend, God Awful Movies, click here: https://audioboom.com/channel/god-awful-moviesTo check out our half-sister show, Citation Needed, click here: http://citationpod.com/To check out our sister show’s sister show, D and D minus, click here: https://danddminus.libsyn.com/Report instances of harassment or abuse connected to this show to the Creator Accountability Network here: https://creatoraccountabilitynetwork.org/---Guest Links:Get tickets to see Noah in Cincinnati: https://www.sethandrews.com/cincinnatiLearn more about the Ark Park protest here: https://www.facebook.com/events/ark-encounter/10th-anniversary-ark-encounter-protest/1591721388785519/Get your tickets to BAHACon here: https://bahacon.com/---Headlines:Court doesn’t care about religious freedom when it isn’t a Christian (from the Diatribe): https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/supreme-court/supreme-court-rules-rastafarian-man-religious-rights-claim-prison-offi-rcna252594WaPo exposes the degree to which Tulsi Gabbard is all culted up: https://www.washingtonpost.com/investigations/2026/06/21/tulsi-gabbard-her-guru-mysterious-messages-that-helped-shape-her-political-career/Trump Admin Rebrands Frozen Embryos As 'Children Who Already Exist': https://www.wonkette.com/p/trump-admin-rebrands-frozen-embryosPope Leo Popularity Plummets With Republican Catholics: https://www.newsweek.com/pope-leo-popularity-republican-catholics-12095241DOJ says it will investigate MLB for issuing warning to players after anti-Pride protest: https://www.friendlyatheist.com/p/mlb-warns-san-francisco-giants-playershttps://www.theguardian.com/sport/2026/jun/19/mlb-investigation-department-of-justice-pride-hats-religious-discriminationRob Schneider offers to pay the fines: https://www.kron4.com/news/bay-area/maga-comedian-rob-schneider-offers-to-pay-fines-for-giants-players-over-pride-protest/Also Ted Nugent joined them: https://rockcelebrities.net/ted-nugent-joins-baseball-players-pride-jersey-fight-calls-rainbow-flag-evil/Christian Nationalist Pastor Dusty Deevers Loses Reelection Bid: https://www.peoplefor.org/rightwingwatch/right-wing-boost-christian-nationalist-pastor-dusty-deevers-loses-reelection-bidHis replacement: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6179563/Who is the head physician for this: https://prclawton.com/

Warning, the following podcast contains profanity, but probably not enough. This week's episode of The Skating Atheist is brought to you by The Deep and Heartfelt Belief that lying to children about a torture dimension is a really fucked up thing to do. And now, The Skathing Atheist. Hi, I'm Sarah. And as a one-time graduate of Pensafucking Cola Christian College, I'm glad to say that we did in fact evolve from filthy monkey people. It's June 25.

And it's Beatles Day. Underrated, if any. Right. Under. I'm no illusions. I'm Eli Bosnick. I'm Ethan Wright. And from Matt, Turner's, New Jersey,

Annover, Michigan, and Waycross, Georgia. This is the skating east. Oh, this week's episode, Tulsi Gabbard is an occult worse than conservatism. Dusty Devers rides off sadly into the sunset with tumbleweed rolling past. And we'll once again learn the importance of not fucking. First, the diatron. Okay, obviously we should still hold equality as the ideal. But let's not do these assholes the favor of pretending that we have it.

I think about this every time there's another bill passed or a court case decided that enshrines more legal privilege for Christians. Inevitably, some voices in the atheist movement will rise up to sing the wait until the insert minority faith that scares Christians here get a hold of this. Right? like a new law grants taxpayer funds to religious schools. And those people say, well, hey, have fun paying for those madrasas. A novel legal interpretation suddenly allows religious preferences to override laws about reproductive rights. And they say, well, here comes the satanic sacrament of abortion. A new bill seeks to protect expression of religious belief in the workplace.

And they say, well, great, because I got some hitchens. I'd love to read out loud in the break room. And look, these are all great hypocrisies to emphasize, right? These are all great fights to have. These are great things to point out. But let's not pretend that any of them would work. There might have been a time when we could jujitsu their bullshit back at them in sort of a Heath playing a board game kind of way and use their encoded privilege to edge us towards actual equality. But there's barely even a pretense of equality in the judiciary anymore.

I mean, there certainly is among some of the judiciary. We've seen throughout the Trump administration that federal judges have been among the few guys. government employees willing to stand up to this slow, undisguised effort to dismantled democracy. But since they're all subordinate to the Supreme Court, and since the Supreme Court is the most nakedly corrupt and partisan body in the halls of power outside of the White House, that turns out not to matter much when it comes time to make with the equality. Case in point, a dude named Damon Lander was serving a five-month prison sentence for a drug charge, which is already a travesty of justice. But we're going to just set that aside for today. And while he was in prison,

religious rights were violated. That is undisputed. Damon is a devout Rastafarian who had taken a vowed and never cut his hair. And because the prison was in the practice of shaving people's heads, he got a court order before he went there ahead of time that clearly said shaving his head would be a violation of his religious rights. He showed it to the fucking people. And despite that fact, the guards still handcuffed him to a chair and shaved off his dreadlocks. It is inarguable that his religious rights were violated without rejecting the very notion of religious rights. understandably, Lander wanted to sue. And there's even a special law that would allow him to do that called the Religious Land Use and Institutionalized Persons Act, which is often clumsily acronym to Arluippa.

The law was passed specifically to protect institutionalized people whose ability to practice their religion was restricted in places like prisons and also some land use stuff. But the courts told Landon he didn't count. So he appealed it all the way to the Supreme Court. And look, based on what we know of the conservative majority of this Supreme Court, this should be a slam-dunk case for Lander if we're using equality, right? No court in the history of the United States has been more favorable to religious rights than this one. This was a clear violation of his religious rights. You know, these are justices who have bent over backwards to make sure that every religious rights case that comes their way gets decided in favor of more religious rights, less secularism, right?

They have trashed precedent, ignored facts, tortured logic, ignored photographic proof in the dissent and otherwise bent over backwards to make sure that religion always wins. Belander is black and his religion isn't Christian. And the conservative justices wink when they say the word equality. So of course, the case was decided 6 to 3 against him on party lines. The majority pretended that this was about separation of federal and state, powers arguing that Arlobba only covered federal employees, not state ones. Landers attorneys pointed out that the court had summarily ignored that distinction in a

riffer case back in 2020 when it would benefit a Christian plaintiff, but no dice. The court didn't give a shit because they're barely pretending this isn't a Christian theocracy anymore. And while I encourage everybody to fight against that fact with every fiber of their being, the first step in fighting for that kind of equality is admitting that we don't have it. They're talking about your Jesus. I interrupt this broadcast and bring you a special news bulletin. Joining me for headlines tonight are the Nick and Mac to my patty whack,

Heath Enright and Eli Bosnick. Fellas, are you ready to... Well, I don't... I don't want to say give the dog a bone, but that is the fucking lyric now. Fuck yeah, the Nick's rule. You said Nick. Yeah. And so does fucking dogs. Am I right now? No, that's no his position.

You're not right, though. Hi, new listener. In our lead story tonight, Eli's wrong. That is not what I meant. In our other leads story tonight, it's kind of awkward to criticize the religious background and foreground of America's first Hindu member of Congress, which is probably why we as a nation have spent so little time on the fact that Tulsi Gabbard grew up in an offshoot of the Hari Krishna's too weird for the Hari Krishna's. And by all accounts, but the official ones remains a member of that cult to this day. And a new Washington Post expose this

week shed some new light on the extent to which her cult leader was pulling her strings since the inception of her political career. So we, as Eli likes to point out, mid us already talking about it, are going to talk about it. It feels good, doesn't it? Does feel like. Yeah. Okay. So I don't feel comfortable speaking for all the Hindu people, obviously. But here's what they're all definitely thinking, all of the Hindu people. They are thinking, please distance us from Tulsi Gabbard whenever you talk about this, and her cult especially. Okay, well, I do feel comfortable speaking for all Hindu people. When I say elephants, pretty cool.

Oh, okay. So, yeah, so her cult is called the Science of Identity Foundation, and it was founded in 1977 by Guru Siduswaropananda Parma Hamza, who does me the favor of also going by Chris Butler. You're fucking Chris. Yeah, you're Chris, dude. And while he adamantly rejects, the title of cult leader, the two devotees who said in an interview they would kill themselves

if he told them to would beg to differ. Don't say that guy. Come on, it's making me. We went over this. But among his earlier followers were one... What did you think I meant by talk normal? One Mike and one Carol Gabbard, who would combine to formulate notorious political puppet Tulsi. And every indication is that Butler said about grooming her, for her political career at an early age. Okay. This is going to sound crazy,

but maybe Bill Pulte isn't that bad. Also, can we say terrible grooming for a political career, right? Half of the country that she's in service to think she's a demon-worshipping spy, and now the other half knows that she's a demon-worshipping spies. Yep, exactly. Now, all of this shit has been known for a long time, and it's underreported because Gabbard's camp screams anti-Hindu-Pindoo, prejudice every time anybody brings it up. And to be fair, nobody bats an eye when somebody's wacky

Christian dominionist preacher, you know, acts as a spiritual advisor and tells them what to do as a sitting politician. We do. Well, right, but they should. They fucking should. Especially if that preacher was a nut job CIA is using psychic powers to control the mass as cult leader and the politician was overseeing the operations of the fucking CIA. He opens his Christmas gift from her every year. Oh, still still no mind control powers. Maybe next year, I do like the mug. It's fun. I like Bamba's socks.

Fuck. Number one cult leader. Let me give a pair for everyone you bought. That's nice. It's one to one. But so recently, John Swain with the Washington Post, was able to unearth a trove of emails and internal campaign documents that proved that Butler was doing a hell of a lot more than offering spiritual advice.

He was telling her exactly what to do. Quoting from Swain's article here, quote, including what legislation she should propose, which policies she should embrace, and how she should conduct herself on television, end quote. Okay. So the boss of the boss of the CIA was getting psychologically manipulated by a cult leader. I think I think I would like to go back to just the CIA controlling the masses with psychic power. That's like better. That's more democratic. Neater, a lot neater. Yeah. Also, guys, that's on us. The Jews bar. the mind control laser.

And when we keep forgetting to return it, when we see the government, we don't know when they're coming to brunch. I still have your mind control laser. It did not work in Brooklyn, by the way. That thing is broken. Now, to be fair, a lot of the stuff that he told her and her handlers

was solid advice, such as, quote, don't do the eye thing. Quote, she's doing the fucking I thing again. And quote, she's still doing the eye thing. End quote, those are all real fucking quotes. But a lot of it also told her specifically what bills to introduce, what to say during TV appearances, and what issues to embrace online. And the record shows she would inevitably follow the dictates Butler Center.

And whenever she strayed from his advice at all, even a little bit, he would berate her, belittler, and tell her how to fix it. And then she would. Hey, Tulsi, loved your TikTok about avoiding foreign wars and the impending nuclear holocaust. Super fun. Super fun, TikTok. Trump's going to love it. You definitely won't get fired.

but you're still doing the eye thing and you're making this look down. Yeah. Now, when you read those quotes, was anyone else picturing like Charles Manson behind the camera, like a stage mom? Like, smile. Yes, right.

Smile. Exactly. And smile. Diofram. Diat. So look, Butler is a bond villain type person. I mean, he's a cult leader, right? But he's a bad cult leader.

His former followers are quoted in the article is saying that he's obsessed with politics and wants to rule the world. And his emails were apparently the genesis of her embrace of Donald Trump, her controversial support of Assad, and a lot of the other fucked up shit she did as a politician. And the fact that it took the media a decade and a half to start wondering aloud if her known suicide cult leader might be a bad influence on our politics is just another reminder of the dangers we face when we overlook any insanity that wears the religious label. And in corporations are fetuses two.

News. For a while now, the Christian Wright has been trying to make fetuses and embryos into human beings under the law. That would be absurd. But also, that doesn't matter because the ultimate goal is to ban all abortion nationwide. And things that are absurd, that doesn't count. Well, the GOP can't afford to lose any support from the idiots they tricked into voting for the worst Christian ever. So the Trump administration was willing to help last week with, some big brother language corruption. The Department of Health and Human Services, run by RFK Jr., very quietly

changed the wording in parts of their website and documents to switch out the word embryo and replace it with child, or just reword stuff altogether and talk about embryo people. Oh, oh no. Well, look at this. We changed it back to 50% median tax rate.

Is our thing a lot now? Is that it? Is that ours? Hey, maybe if we start calling them embryonic Americans, maggots will think like anti-abortion is woke. Right? Worth a try. So the public health department, again, run by a raccoon penis enthusiast, made the Orwellian changes to their embryo adoption awareness and services program.

It was created in 2002, and it provides grants to help facilitate the adoption of unused embryos that were created during in vitro fertilization. Usually the program is helping same-sex couples or couples with infertility. Good stuff. But the motivation for the Christian right here is avoiding the mass genocide of embryos, which they believe is the result of IVF because they're insane. Here's an example of some of the new wording. It says the program is, quote,

a response to the needs of children who already exist and are in. in need of a family. Okay. So nothing real has ever needed the words that exist as an addendum, right? Like put it after anything. Like my girlfriend, who exists by the way? My job, which exists, by the way. We already know your fucking lying.

Okay. Upside, we are like three months from my cousin having to fight off RFK Jr. in her office with a chair. And I know. That sounds great. I know that sounds scary, but she runs a lot of 5Ks. I think she's going to be fine. She's going to be fine.

Fantastic. My money's on her. By the way, that joke is killing with people who know your cousin. She's a very famous doctor. Very famous. Like the rest of my family, she does normal stuff and she's good at it. So this concept, it's called fetal personhood. And if you think about it for two seconds, it's clearly just untenable nonsense.

And actually, not in the ways that Republicans would enjoy. For example, pregnancy would become this amazing loophole. superpower against law enforcement. You can't put a pregnant person in prison unless the DA can make the charges stick against a fetus too. And yeah, okay, like they're sticky, but that's a whole thing.

That's like two separate prosecutions. Tiny little handcuffs. And I feel like the optics might be bad. And as you all know, I fucking love a good loophole. So if I want to do a crime without getting arrested and jailed, I would swallow an embryo real quick. I got a sonogram screenshot, put in my butt.

I don't know how it works, but I would have that sonogram ready, and I would carry that around during my crime spree, and I'd be like, you can't, can't jail me. Okay, you were going to put that embryo in your butt anyway, though. Okay. But now I am picturing Heath with a mouthful of fetuses in the Supreme Court chambers with a loaded gun being like, there's a win-win.

Win-win. Win, win. Win, win. What are you doing? It's the rules. Win, win. The other thing they clearly haven't considered is the election loophole. The moment that embryos and fetuses are officially people, we can start creating millions of citizens that determine representation for the Electoral College, for example. And places like California and New York, Massachusetts, New Jersey, those places already have the most embryos so they have a big head start.

I'd be using this for district maps too. Like right now, it's like a whole thing. We're busing in immigrants to hack the system. That's a lot of moving parts. But we can fit like so many more embryos in each bus seat. Oh, yeah. Like millions. Fish tanks.

Stack them. Let's do some tiny little gerrymandering and redraw those maps. What's happening? Like these bigots didn't think I was going to read the rules on the inside of the box? Let's fucking go. Let's act. Yeah, obviously, have you never met Heath? This is your moment.

And in Will Leo about that news. Nice. Podcast listener, not so long ago, someone stole my phone. I was with my wife, so we logged in to find my friends and walked around the park we were in. And sure enough, there on a park bench was a young man attempting to guess the password to the phone in his hands. Now, I don't like conflict. So I was like, hey, thanks so much, you found my phone. Oh, that was a good play.

Yeah. And then he proceeded to pretend he hadn't stolen my phone and to tell me that he was trying to call me from it. And it just kept ringing itself. Yeah. And that conversation was difficult for both of us. For him, because I wasn't whatever drug, he was hoping to inject in between his toes. And for me, because I kept having to act like this person wasn't lying. And I was reminded of that moment as I read this.

this week that Republican Catholics, whose religion is founded on the notion that the Pope is a direct conduit to God, creator of the universe, aren't big fans of him, especially when it comes to who they voted for for president. Trump over Leo by a stroke in golf. Nobody's perfect.

He's mildly infallible. I'm not saying he always hears what God says. So first off, big thanks to Sam for sending us this story to scathing news at gmail.com. Sam, sending us atheist news to scaling news at gmail.com. You are the Pope of the podcast this week. If you want to wear a funny hat and make a speech off a balcony, you will be doing it as our representative this week, Sam, scathing news at gmail.com. Okay, but be chill about all the Nazi gold,

okay? Don't tell anyone. Yes. We only have the one bar and we don't talk about it. Right. So this comes to us from a new Pew Research Center survey, which shows that 78% of Catholics view Leo favorably, which is down from 84% of last year. And can I just say 6% of Catholics aren't so sure about their conduit to God. Okay, but also 16% are firmly against God. They're just spitting his face. Yeah. To be fair, to those people, they would argue that they, like, disagree with the parts of his job he's doing

when he's not in direct communication with the Almighty Creator of the universe. but one would think if he was wrong about those things, the big G might mention it at their next meeting. So that objection is nothing. That's nothing. The Almighty doesn't like to micromanage. Right, right. So I guess the parts they agree with are the infallible bits again.

Apparently, yeah. Now, as I mentioned at the start of the story, this is all because of Donald Trump, who regular listeners will remember, had a little spat with the Pope this year when he took the Pope's incredibly general anti-war Pablam personal. Which he should have. Yeah, which he should have, to be fair, it was about him.

And as a result, he tweeted out a picture of himself as Jesus Christ of Nazareth. These Red Cross doctor something. Yeah. And a lot of Republicans think the Pope was too critical of that moment. According to the survey, while 32% of the president, Catholic Republicans were critical of Trump's tone, 39% said Leo had been too critical. Hey, Ross, Duffet, I know you're listening.

Maybe for the next edition of your book, add a chapter about the perfect religion of Catholicism. There you go. You wrote the book about. So quick recap, the Pope is like, thou shalt not kill, and American Catholic Republicans are like, hey, no need to get political, asshole, okay?

Ah, fuck, here we go. Another woke poll. Either way, Republican Catholics are liars. I mean, look, we know that because of the title. Those two words are liar. But a good reminder that as they destroy the American health care system, further erode shattered abortion rights and campaign to push us, even further into the past,

even they don't buy their lie about God's PR guy when it disagrees with their slightly more on-brand bullshit. Yep. Next up in headlines in over-the-plate speech, News. Three pitchers for the San Francisco Giants got persecuted for loving Jesus Christ. That's the story from Fox News and Christian Post and outlets like that. Or according to journalists, they got mad about the existence of a pride event during a baseball game that they were in and they launched a protest in the form of Bible verses written on their caps. The team

logo had rainbow colors for this one day, and the players wrote the Bible verses next to it by hand. Pretty badly. Normally, the logo just has one or two colors of the rainbow, but three or more is basically having gay sex on the mound against your will. That is persecution. Sexual persecution. Okay. I'm just going to take a moment to point out that if I said that the Bible is the opposite of gay pride, everyone at the dinner party, would get mad at me. Yes. So.

Right. Right. Well, so now in their defense, they didn't put up Bible verses about how bad gayness is they, they used ones for how, like, God had dibs on rainbows. Yeah, they went with rainbow dibs. The most pathetic.

At least fucking get in there with Deuteronomy, you fucking chicken shit. Cowards. You didn't all the way homophobic? Bad Christians, yes. No, it's my rainbow's mine. Okay. You fooled me.

Everybody's mad at you, you fucking cucks. He's just a light spectrum enthusiast, guys. Let's hear him out. Yeah, that's it. That's all it is. And a big thanks to Logan for sending a link to Skathing News at gmail.com. Logan gets to play shortstop for at least one inning with our company softball team, even though Logan's dad is not the coach.

Just keep in mind, Logan, there will be ugly crying. if I know anything about Little League and this company adult versions of that too and this company will be ugly crying. So the Giants had a pride event for their game on June 12th and they made special edition caps that day. Players were not required to wear them. That's key. Very important. Yeah.

Yeah. One guy took that option. Sam Hentges. He refused to wear the hat with the more colors because he fucking sucks. But just like passive. sucks in this example. But three other pitchers decided that passive bigotry is an affront to God. Landen Raup, J.T. Brewbaker, and Ryan Walker needed to actively hate gay people. So they went to Michael's Arts and Crafts and bought some fabric pens and very badly scribbled the Bible reference

onto their caps. I feel like they went to Hobby Lobby, but yeah. Very likely. Hey, family. When we make a stand against love and acceptance of others, should we do it in a way that demonstrates on an international stage that we have the handwriting of a second grader? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I would say I'm at third grade level, but yeah, let's do that. Okay. Yeah. You're wrong. I know cursive. No, you don't. Fuck. The verse they went with, Noah started to mention this. It was Genesis 9, 13 to 15, which talks about how God gave the rainbow to Noah after the flood. Kind of like, you know, hey, really sorry about the genocide and all the animal shit that you had to deal with.

You get to have the visible light spectrum conceptually. Yeah, right. Kind of makes you wonder what refers to. reacted light was doing until then, right? It's not yours yet. Wait. And following all the controversy, the response from these players was all about that covenant from Genesis.

They're claiming they don't hate the people who celebrate pride, they do. They just wanted to make sure everyone knows about the title deed regarding colors because that's important. So it's more like a land acknowledgement than a big thing if you think about it. Oh, yeah. It's woke if you think about it. Yeah. To be fair, I think one time the earth was covered in water and then the kangaroos

hopped back home to Australia is an incredibly specific answer to the question, what do you think about gay rights? Right? I can infer. Yeah. Okay, I just want to point out how much sillier that particular argument gets when the symbol includes, as it did in this case, the trans pride colors and the lines for black, indigenous, and people of color.

Like, I mean, if they're mad at everything that incorporates a rainbow, they should also be scrolling their Bible versus unfucking lucky charms and LeVar Burton, shouldn't they? Yeah.

I feel like they'd try. And they should be like, I don't know, 10, 15% mad all the time about the two colors. Yeah, right. Yes. It's so stupid.

I demand to be shot only in Cibiotos until the Lord. That still has some color. So now we have another extremely stupid argument about freedom of speech. And it's being adjudicated by officials from Major League Baseball, J.D. Vance, Rob Schneider, the Department of Justice, and of course, by the idiots who think they got persecuted

by the... Sorry, real quick questions. We'll get there. No questions. We're going to... PIN in it? Hands down. Hands down.

There's a pin. There's a pin. Also involved in this important discussion is, of course, these idiots who think colors on a hat. persecution to them. And crucially, this is not about freedom of speech. The government isn't restricting anything. The government's not involved in this, except J.D. Vance talking like an asshole. This is a private company that has a uniform, like many others do. And that company didn't even make you wear it. Like, if an atheist works at In-N-Out Burger, because it's delicious,

but they don't like the Christianity, but it's delicious. If they work there, and that atheist writes quotes from Darwin next to the Bible verses on the Soto Cups, they'd get yelled at. They would get told you can't do that. And J.D. Vance would not say a word about that. He'd just keep fucking that couch. But in this case, Vance posted about getting rid of the Pride Hats saying, quote, Trump won, we don't have to do this anymore. Yeah, you didn't have to do this in the first place, lazy boy toy. And it wasn't just Jady Vance. else involved in the story actually got this wrong in their own way.

San Francisco Giants released a statement about like vaguely disagreeing with the bigots they continue to employ, but they did not mention any consequences. And same for the MLB and their statement. But the nothing from the team in the league was a bridge too far. And the Department of Justice felt like they had to step in. Harmeet Dylan, the assistant attorney general. for the Civil Rights Division opened an investigation

about the religious discrimination contained in the nothing that happened to these players. And Dylan wrote a letter to the MLB commissioner that said, federal law is clear employers must modify their uniform requirements to reasonably accommodate their employees' exercise of religion. Okay. First of all, not acknowledging gay people

isn't your religion. And second of all, it is, you should be dead. How is this hard? This is not a hard. Yeah. Look, they did modify the uniform. It wasn't a requirement. It's not a reasonable accommodation. And it isn't an exercise of religion. That's one lie

every 3.5 words. Yeah. Your entire letter was nothing. So you might be thinking at this point, and I think Eli might have been thinking, hey, Heath, was I having a stroke? Did you mention that? Pull that pin out? That Rob Schneider was involved in this political topic.

sadly it's the latter. Strokes aren't that bad. Arguably, the worst cast member in the history of Saturday Night Live, a competitive title. Cherry chases on that title. Exactly. He decided that his voice and support

were extremely important in this moment of nuanced political debate. Ted Nugent, by the way, also jumped in to do the same. Who? The Nuge. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

I just talked about. We're talking about the Rob Schneider right now who offered to pay any fines that might be given to bigots who refused to follow the very simple rules about MLB uniforms. There are no fines, Rob. What reality are you in? You can't pretend

to be oppressed by nothing. Okay, but no fines also represents the limit of Rob Schneider's financial resources for this kind of stuff. So I think he knows. MLB, get some fines, bankrupt this fucking guy. Let's go. You don't have to go too hard.

I got these water boy residual checks if anybody needs me to do out. You don't have to go too hard. You'll start hitting Adam Sandler's bank account real fast. That's kind of how that works. So when athletes make a political statement, we often see critics doing the shut up and dribble narrative. That's a phrase that originally came from Laura Ingram on Fox News. She's also cited as a mentor to harm me, Dylan, by the way.

So Ingram got mad when LeBron James and Kevin Durant criticized Donald Trump back in 2018. And when she said, shut up and dribble, that was the basketball version for, you know, stay in your lane, you're just a dumb athlete. Well, I don't like this, but I think Laura Ingram nailed it this time. These are dumb athletes who need to shut the fuck up and throw a ball. And it turns out they actually did plenty of that. They threw plenty of balls. Landon Raup gave up two walks and four hits leading to four earned runs against him in less than five innings, and the Giants lost the game that day.

Much like they lost the last nine times in a row that Landon Raup was on the mound at all. Oh, really? Yeah. And I think I speak for Donald Trump when I say, this is a weird day. This is a weird day. I think I speak for Donald Trump when I say, I prefer bigots who don't lose all the time. Oh, okay. Be better bigots. We look stupid.

I'm Donald Trump. I like it better. I like it better. better when I was speaking for the Hindus. And finally tonight in Leave it to Devers News. Nice. Podcast listener, imagine, if you will, me

reciting the entirety of landslide by Fleetwood Mac. I always do. I wrote it in the notes. We all agreed it was a fun bit kind of lost its legs after about three lines. But I want you to imagine it. For those are the emotions that fill me now, as I

sadly inform you that scathing atheist workhorse, and Oklahoma State Senator Dusty Devers has lost his primary. Okay, but now he's got more time to focus on his very obviously porn career as Ben Shapiro's favorite porn star. Oh, okay.

Exactly. Yeah. So first off, a huge shout out to Scott who not only sent us this news, but also sent along several helpful articles about his replacement to scathing news at gmail.com. Scott, for sending us atheist news to scathingoes at gmail.com, if we're ever doing a trauma dump,

candy salad and yours isn't fun. We're going to pretend it's fun and then we'll move on quickly. Scathing News at gmail.com. I have no idea what Eli just said, but candy salad sounds like an awesome idea. We are TikTokers now. You guys got to get with it. That sounds like a casserole in Michigan. It would be like a hot dish.

You have mayo. It's a trauma dump candy salad. It's a trauma. It tastes weirdly good, but you still wouldn't want to keep eating it. Right. So for those of you unfamiliar with Divers, from the moment he burst onto the political stage in 2023. He's been something of a darling of our radio program. He's introduced legislation that would charge women who get an abortion with murder.

He tried to ban no-fault divorce and famously proposed a bill that would have defined sexing between unmarried adults as unlawful pornography. Oh, I forgot that one. All while saying bad shit stuff that always gave us something to talk about. Yeah. For example, we learned that Oklahoma's top relative search term on Pornhub was sex dick. Sex dick is what people in Oklahoma are searching for a lot compared to other states. So yeah, maybe Dusty was right.

I don't think they're ready for porn yet in Oklahoma. I blame the schools. Yeah. Yeah. Kids, open your text book. Open your Chromebooks. And look, I could sit here all day list in my favorite double D quotes. I could regale you with the trials of describing

as physical appearance because he's actually pretty hot. But no, luckily for us, he seems to have been replaced by a new and different brand of crazy. One, Dr. Gene Rene Hushauer, who is the author of Getting Comfortable with Near Death Experiences

and my unimaginable journey of physician's near-death experience. She regularly contributes to media outlets for crazy people about NDE. Yeah, her porn, a lot more avant-garde than dusties. I also feel like despite the title, her NDE story was very imaginable. It is. It is. And she did. And she was comfortable with it by the time she had hers because she had written that book about getting comfortable with this. It's true. Yeah. Yeah. But that's not all.

In her professional life, she's a real doctor at a fake planned parenthood. Oh. Yeah. She's the head doctor at the Pregnancy Resource Center of Southwest Oklahoma. If you're not familiar with pregnancy resource centers, exactly. Yeah, they offer pregnant women help and then tell them scary lies about abortion so they don't get one. The head of one of those is Dusty's replacement. So yeah, something tells me we're going to hear plenty from Dr. Gene in the future. But Dusty, here's to a bright political future elsewhere. You and your jaw line will be missed. Yeah, yeah. And while we send Dusty out on that old Dusty trail, I guess we can wrap the headlines for the night. Heath, Eli, thanks, as always.

Dusty in the wind. And when we come back, we'll fuck up my YouTube algorithm even more. With the internet first gave everyone in the world a voice, we hailed it as a remarkable step forward in humanism. But once we got a sense of what most people had to say, feels like maybe we got ahead of ourselves with that, which we learned about yet again in this installment of God-awful binnies. So tell us, Heath, what will we be breaking down today?

We watched Disconnected, 2026, Vertical Bar Thing, Christian Short Film. Yep. It's the story of when God's just not that into you. No, he is not. It is, though. And then you just wait longer. And Eli, how bad was this many? Well, if you loved the relationship drama of your high school, but you wish more people had invoked

Thor and Athena's direct participation, you will love this many. All right. So in keeping with our formula from the other show, is there anything you guys want to nominate this one for being the best of being the worst at? Yeah, I'm going to go with best worst montage. And I say that in quotes because they wanted to do a thing in movies, in films called montage,

but they couldn't think of more than two possible things to make the montage of. Two shot montages just back and forth. Yeah. And those shots weren't like two exciting things. It was sitting in car walking. Leaving. Sitting in car.

That we sat in earlier. Walking. Sitting in car walking near the car. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, that yours is better. I'll admit.

I'm going to go with best worst interior decorating. So like very clearly everything that they shot here was like in a model apartment or something that somebody like from their church let them use or something like that. And it's got that model apartment decor. behind them the entire time, which I delighted in throughout my notes. Yeah, the Bluth stair car parked outside. 100%. Yeah, I'm going to go with best, best relationship advice.

You know, we don't admit very often when we learn from our Christian brothers and sisters. But there is something that someone says during a breakup, during this movie, that I aspire to. Okay. And we'll continue to aspire to. I'm not. I'm looking forward to finding out what that is. I did find one piece of their relationship advice to be accidentally good advice.

It was based on like, God, which is fucking stupid, but they, like, landed on the right thing. Yeah. All right. I'm excited to learn about both of those. But first, we're going to open up on a production logo

that literally includes the words since 2025. Get the fuck out of it. You can't write since when it's last year. No. You can't have a cornerstone on your film that says, like, Established 2025 anodominy. First anniversary.

Get the fuck out of here with the U's as Vs. So we get a soundtrack to fuck by. And we meet this girl Michelle, this British girl Michelle, who's going to be the center of the story, right? And she's FaceTiming with her boyfriend. Yes. And they have captured the audio of this guy actually on her iPhone

in this otherwise hollow model apartment. Hey, can I be honest, if they had captured perfect audio through the best mic, would still not have understood a single word of what was being said. These British words, like, they could have been noises. I genuinely wouldn't know. The cockneys could have been watching these people speak and they would have been like, no audio what they're saying. Yeah, right, yeah, exactly.

No, the close captioning was no help either. I was like, what did you just say? I turned on the close captioning and it comes up and says, before, but why I'm not sure that it will. And I'm like, yeah, okay. What? Yeah. Yeah.

I feel like Marsh makes up, I don't know, three, four words every episode as a test. Correct? And I always fail. He just throws them in there and we're like, yeah, that was probably British. I don't know. We should have brought him on for a segment just, you know how they have those people doing the fun hand dances? Oh, yeah, yeah. That's not what that is.

But yes. Yeah, we should have Marsh on here as a translator. Yes. Exactly. Okay. I like that they established the rapport between the people. these two people. They're going to be a boyfriend and girlfriend. And they're talking on the phone. I guess they had dinner the night before.

She's like, you know what I'm thinking about right now. That big, vainy prawn. And he's like, oh. Yes. Pronds. Oh, yeah. Those were good. Brons. But she's like, we should go back there. And he's like, okay. Yeah. I caught the word prong. That's that's the word prong. That's, that's the word. Nailed it. So yeah, yeah, but they've established or we established that they're like thinking about taking another step in their relationship, no idea what it is. I don't know if that's because I couldn't understand them or because the movie didn't establish it.

But so we see later on, she's in this model apartment kitchen now with her roommate talking about how great her boyfriend is. Now, okay, this is a great example of Noah's best worst right away. Everything in this room still has a sticker on it. Yes. It's like wrapped in plastic, like the dishwasher. The full dishwasher has a sticker on it. It's the decoration grandma starts to do when you realize she can go to the home.

Yeah. It won't be that different than this Hobby Lobby display. She won't know. Yeah, exactly. Right. There's also an unintended visual gag because Michelle is so much smaller than the roommate, whoever's playing the roommate. I don't know if she's really tiny or the roommate's really big,

but the roommate's sitting up on the countertop where they first start talking. And then she gets down and she's still like the same height above her. Yeah, it's just... Half out of the shot. It's amazing when you see it. And I'm like, you guys don't even know, do you? And this is where we get some of what will be throughout, which is that instead of just having a fucking conversation,

everyone has to attribute everything to God. Yeah. Like God's a weird, pervert matchmaker. Like, oh, God has served us so well. God has done this. God has done that. I just want to point out that if this was actually your worldview, which it's not.

But if it was, you would have an insane. sane world, just everywhere. And then God has decided this week that me and my boyfriend are moving in together. I wouldn't trust anyone in my life with this level of control. It felt like God was just outside of the frame and they were like,

all right, do you want some orange juice? And he's like, mention me about the orange juice, mention me about the orange juice. Oh, God's sure it's good. God. God loves pulp. On the third day, I made orange juice. He made orange juice on the third day. So, and then we get a title card comes up and says one month later,

like one month later than what? Then she is dating someone? I guess. Yeah, right. But she's like going to bed that night. She's praying for her boyfriend Benjamin. But we also see that at the same time, he is breaking up with her over text. Over text.

Just like, hey, Michelle, hope you're not praying right now. We have to break up. That's the text. Yeah. I hope you're not praying for the opposite of right now because this would be very much the person. proof that your prayers don't work, but you're assuming that's not happening. But this is where we get my best best.

Uh-huh. Right? Because he ends his breakup text with, please promise, you won't cry. He does, yeah. And I would like to start implementing that in difficult moments in my life. No crying.

I called it. First. I called no crying. Yep. I called it. Dibbs, you stay quiet, normal. Normal, chill, normal. Or we won't have a phone call.

I also want to point out that he capitalized the B and we need to break up and not the I and call you when I can. I'm like, you can do better, Michelle, than him. The capital B is suspect because it feels like he started writing something else and then like started a new sentence. Yeah. We need to Birmingham. Yeah, right?

What was he writing there? Yeah. But then so she gets done praying. She sees the text and she doesn't cry. And I started wondering if maybe the please promise me you won't cry thing was there because that actress couldn't cry. And she's like, why wouldn't I cry at this minute? Oh, oh, I get it.

I got one. It's because he asked me. Right. I had to promise. Dibbs. Okay. So then we see her getting ready to practice with the church band. And this video is 11 minutes long and nothing happens.

But I'm still baffled by what the fuck this scene is doing in it. Every pixel in this scene is its own unlockable mystery. Truly, House of Leaves. The details of the details of. this room are insane. Truly, the first thing we see, this is a church with a band room, I guess. First thing we see is five fire extinguishers just on the floor, all next to each other. Loose.

Four big ones and one small one, loose, all loose. They have the small one in case you have to like run around faster. Handful. I don't know. A handful. A lot of pyrotechnics in their warmups. They also have their drum. This is what I thought you were going to open when.

they have their drummer in what appears to be an airproof cube. Yep. Oh, yeah, there's the sound dampener. Like, that was the least crazy thing. Is that real? Oh, okay, that's the thing. Yeah, because they're practicing. Yeah, you don't want to have too loud.

I thought they were just like, and until you stop. You bite another bassist, yeah. Their drummer's Magneto. They got to be. So, yeah, but so she goes into this insane room, and then she has this exact fucking exchange. The woman, she sees, she says, oh, you're my favorite daughter.

And then Michelle says, hi, Auntie, like there was a fight off screen about what these characters' relationship was going to be. Like two people who couldn't agree on an improv scene. They also have chairs in there. They have eight chairs. And they've got those fucking weird, like, chair condoms,

like J.D. Vance chair condom thingies. Yeah. Slip over the top. Do you see them in, like, hotel banquet rooms, maybe sometimes? Why do they have eight? weird number and those chair things are weird to me. I don't understand what they're accomplishing them. And why are you protecting them? If you've only got eight chair, well,

maybe that's what it is. You've only got eight chairs. You don't have any despair. Right. You can't risk when I'm getting chipped. Just people watching this amazing band practice and being like, oh my God, I am coming. It's a good thing this chair is sealed over. Yeah, exactly. So, but she tells her auntie that Benjamin broke up with her and then the auntie hugs her in the middle of her line. She's like still delivering her line and she's like the actress is visibly furious about it.

You see, Auntie, we... Yeah. I enjoyed watching the band members in the background of the scene when the two of them are... Michelle and Auntie are talking. The band members are having a completely silent but like animated, mimed conversation

because they can't talk out loud, but they're like... Really angry at each other. Let me out of this cue! Yeah, the drum is trying to... Free me. We're going to bite that basis. It's okay.

But then after church, she calls Benchie, but who should answer but his new lady friends? And just to make this, we can already not understand what I need to, but goddamn what he's saying. But then to make it even worse, she's going to like talk to God at the same time that she's talking on the phone as though he's like just off camera. Yeah. This was so confusing. I keep expecting the camera to pan over to God and for him to be like that bitchy friend

giving her advice like hang up hang up on him girl girl we talked about it I fucking invented orange juice I know he's like he gets on the phone and she's like why weren't you at church and also why did some other girl answer your phone he's like oh no I'm at work that was a work girl

also reminder we broke up so yeah it's whoever it doesn't matter right yeah at this point yeah and then she hangs up on the phone with him and then she looks at her window for like literally 15% of this video's runtime. Oh, okay.

But can we talk about the cameraman trying to make it around the bed? Yes. So she goes to the window. She goes to the window, but the cameraman can't quite like get a good shot of her there. So we see the camera like, whip-b-b-b-b-b-prah. Ow, fuck. I get my knee. Why do you have bedposts?

You're not even fucking anybody. So we cut to her commiserating, with her friends. Stoop. I hate your wall art. Why do you make your bed? Grow up. But she's like...

Habits of successful people. She's hanging out with her friends and she's like trying to put a positive spin on the breakup. And she's like, you know what? If he's not my husband, that just means my husband is still out there somewhere. And they're like, yep, that changes something, I guess. Yeah. The idea in the movie is God's plan was, you know, to have the breakup happen. But like, specifically to get a breakup text is God's plan, as we've seen.

Yeah. But then she's like, this is good. This is good. And I was like, it is, though. Like I agree with God not really. Like breakups are good. If you broke up, that was good. That was a good move.

Probably meant to be. Yeah. So, but then like her friends realize, oh, hey, it's worship night at the church. They should all go and have fun at worship night. Huh? You know how in a normal movie. the girls would be like, girl, let's get you out there. Yes, right. And they're like, girl, let's go sit in a hot room full of four schizophrenic old

lady and get some deal. Right, right. Bam, bam, ban, man, nan, nan, nah. And then God's like, let's go, girls. Right, yeah. But then they cut that scene. No, yeah, we skim worship night all together. We don't, we don't see them getting ready. We don't see her coming out in one outfit and them all shaking their heads. And then another outfit, they shake their heads. And then another out of God, not. Can I tell you? It's because the drummer smothered.

Oh, interesting. They thought it would be insensitive to show it. Because you could see it. Yeah, right. They forgot to poke holes in that little. You could see his final moments. And they were painful and full of fear. Yeah, so, okay.

So we skip worship night, but apparently she met a guy there, right? Because after that night, she's getting sexy texts from the guy she met at worship night. And a voicemail. Yep. Like, what is that? Shut it down. It's a voice. No, somebody leaves you a voicemail.

never speak to them again. That's crazy. Worse, I bet you it's one of those voice texts. Oh, yeah. Have you got one of these abominations? I promise you. If you're visually impaired, fine. Otherwise, come on.

I don't care. You lost. This is the biggest red flag about a man that exists. Yes, 100%. And can I tell you what I reply, without exception? My phone does not get those. So the thing I heard is not here. It's not here.

But now we're going to get. best, worst, right? We're going to get the two-shot montage. Where clearly what happened is they film these two in the car, and they film these two walking away from the car hand in hand, and they're like, fuck, we can't really do a montage with just that. Well, let's slow it down. Okay, now we can't.

Okay, well, still no, because we have like four seconds of each. Slow it down way more. We cut those four seconds. And we'll make eight cuts between car walk, car walk. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. God. Get a third thing. At least one other thing.

At least a third thing. Hey, if you're going to have nine cuts in your montage, how about nine things? Just show us that drummer, struggling his way out. I don't know. I have a theory about why this montage is so short. I think one of these women who made this movie, that's her boyfriend. And he was like, I don't want to be in no movie. And she was like 10 seconds.

And he was like eight. Or he started holding Michelle's hand. And she was like, I don't want to do this anymore. Yeah, she was like, the Lord. So, yeah, and also, like, it's, that actually makes a lot of sense because, like, the actor is, like, aggressively not interested in Michelle. So I can imagine his girlfriend is right off camera. Like, yeah, yeah, policing how into it he is.

Just licking a knife. But, yeah, so they're sitting there in his living room at the end of the montage, montageless montage. And he goes, hey, do you want to go upstairs? And she's like, yes, I want to ride that dick. Now let me be clear. Let me be clear. You can fuck whoever you want to fuck.

Unless you invoke God like he is the third slightly shy person in the room who you're trying to draw into the conversation. Just timidly grabbing the hand of nobody and her at the same time. Yes. It's not a religion. It's a relationship polycule with Jesus. Your house is a hobby lobby. You have not uttered a single sentence that hasn't been introduced with God's thoughts on the manner.

And then you're like, oh, unmarital. Yeah, absolutely. Do you want to do anal or foot stuff? Or no, just great and P&B. Yeah, okay. So, okay. So, but then, so she presumably fucks this guy. And then we get her like hanging out in her room with her friends. And she tells him about this new guy she met,

Ezekiel at worship night. And they're all like, well, doesn't his... You have a girlfriend, though? Yeah. And Michelle's like, what? That's impossible. We had walking and car and walking in car. We flash back.

We had water at the time and sex. To the montage. We flash back to the fucking 18 seconds ago montage. In the walk. And that's all the things. Yeah, they flash back to that crazy nontage. And as if we were supposed to look at it and be like, there were clues. There were clues.

sleep during the sit and walk? Oh, if it had panned over and there was a girl in the background just sort of walking along behind them. Is she licking a knife? But yeah, so that night she gets a call she doesn't take, but like I guess this is also a voicemail or whatever. Okay, so first of all, she's sleeping in what appears to be a sweater and a fur coat. Right? Like you do. When she wakes up, and her friend has left her a voicemail about Jesus. Yeah. Right. That essentially boils down to Jesus wouldn't fuck around on you, though. Yeah. God's got you. I know that a bunch of men have betrayed you in this four-minute montage, but Jesus wouldn't. Yeah. I think it said Jesus is the author and finisher of your fate, if I understood the words correctly. And he's not done. Yes. There's something close to that. So the idea is like God's plan was a text breakup.

car walking, car walking, fuck boy guy sex. And to be continued. Yeah, other stuff. And other stuff. Phase three. Prophet. Yeah. No, the message seems to be at best.

Sure your boyfriend is a piece of shit, but Jesus is going to burn him with his sort of fire during the tribulation. So cheer up. Yeah. The end. Yeah. And then they give us the Bible quote from Philippians 1-6. And I am certain that God,

It's like a telegraph because there's a period there. I am certain that God stop, who began the good work within you stop, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. Yes. So it's like, don't worry, you'll keep meeting shitty guys until the apocalypse. Yes. But then it's the apocalypse. Yes.

So good news. The heavens open and sword mouth Jesus descends from the cloud. And he's like, one second. hey, I'm so sorry about those two assholes that you met. Yeah. All right, I'm going to go fight the devil. Or the world. I thought you were going to finish saying something.

No, you're just taking off. Enjoy the eyeball singings, though. They've been working on it a lot. They watch a lot of, oh, I'm forgetting their names. The fun Acapella group on YouTube. Do you think I should get on the apps during the tribulation right now? I've actually got to go fight the devil. All right, sorry.

Yeah. No, no, you do you think. I'm sorry. I didn't understand a word. And with the promise that there is indeed a part two, we're going to wrap up this installment of God Awful Minutes. Before we exit through the gift shop tonight, I want to remind you that I've got three appearances coming up in the next couple of months.

I'm going to be in Cincinnati with a friend of the show Seth Andrews for a three-hour stage show on Saturday, July 11th. I'll be at the Ark Park protest, a short drive from Cincinnati on Sunday the 12th. And I'll be at Baja Khan in Point, Edward, Ontario on the weekend of August 22nd. Look for links in the show notes for more information about all three. Anyway, that's all the blast movie we've got for you tonight. We'll be back in 10,000, 22 minutes with more. If you came by that, along, we'll look out for a brand new episode of our sister show, The Skeptocrat, debuting at 7 oeastern on Monday,

an even newer episode of our sister-ssel's hot friend, God-level movies, debuting at 7-Eastern on Tuesday, and an even newer episode of our half-sister-ssel Citation Data, debut at noon-eastern on Wednesday. Obviously, I couldn't send this episode out into the world without thanking Heath Endwright for being awesome. Lucind illusions for providing awe

and Eli Bosnick for being awful but in the archaic sense where that means he's full of awe. I'm sorry, I couldn't think anything else that started

with awe. I also want to thank Sarah for putting that Pensacola Christian college education to use, providing this week's Farnsworth quote,

but most of all, of course, I want to thank this week's most marvelous mammals Tegan, Mimo, Sherry, Jake Aubrey and Philasties. Tegan, Mimo, and Sherry

who are so badass, other badasses got demoted to middling ass and Jake Aubrey and Falasties who rock so hard, scissors cringe when they walk by together these six rowdy realists rendered our reaming of religious rectum realizable this week by giving us money not everybody has the money it takes to give some to us but if you do you can make a

per episode donation at patreon.com slash scathing atheist whereby you're only only access to an extent to every version of every episode or you can make a one-time donation by clicking on the donate button on the website at the home page at scathingaity.com and if you'd like to help but money cost too much these days you can also help a ton by leaving a five-star review telling a friend about the show and following us on social media and speaking of social media tim robertson handles that for us and our audio engineer is morn Clark who also were all the musicals who was used in this episode, which was used with permission. If you have questions, comments, or death threats,

I'll find all the contact info on the contact page at Skaidneyadius.com. Three, four, four, five. Did you not? Now we can see you not doing it. Morgan gets a five. He knows what he did. All right. Well, now let's give him a four and of five.

So you'll get four from us, but only three from you. Just for fun. It doesn't matter, but we're all going to do it right this time. Just for fun. Let's do a silly one. This content is scanned credentialed, which means you can report instances of harassment, abuse, or other harm to their hotline at 617-249455 or on their website at creator accountability network.org. This podcast is a production of Puzzle and a Thunderstorm LLC and was created without the use of generative AI. Its contents may not be used for AI training. Copyright 2026. All rights reserved.