The SCP Experience - Cousin Johnny… The Man Who Appears at Every Funeral | SCP-2852

Episode Date: April 13, 2026

SCP-2852, also known as Cousin Johnny, is one of the most disturbing SCPs—appearing at funerals, weddings, and baptisms as a seemingly normal guest. This SCP Foundation horror story explores a terrifying anomaly that manipulates reality, perception, and human behavior during religious events. Listen ad-free + bonus stories with a 7-day FREE trial of ⁠SCP Premium⁠. Cancel anytime. No commitment. This story is derived from ⁠The SCP Foundation Database⁠ and is released under Creative Commons Sharealike 3.0.⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/⁠⁠⁠ * * * CONTENT DISCLAIMER: This episode contains explicit content not limited to intense themes, strong language, and depictions of violence intended for adults. Parental guidance is strongly advised for children under the age of 18. Listener discretion is advised.  #thescpexperience #scp #scpfoundation #scpencounters #securecontainprotect #scpstories Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Lazzang sur-gillet, Puisance-Moyerned 15 minutes. Oh, you'd say that's the Dojo? Prere to play! Vive the pleasure with Leo Jo! The casino in-line

that proposes the most recent machine-a-sou and the game of casino in direct. Profite of 50 tours on Big Bas Bonanza, without the payments instantane.

Hey! I've gained! Woohoo! Sentire the pleasure! Play-Ojo! 18 and plus, 1,1, first,

first depots only depose only depo in Ontario. 50 tours on $1 $10 dollars, pay to pay responsible.

The conditions apply. When you were little, you've had braced in the course of recry,

always in trying to negotiate and make a exchange, the appellee Nogacy T-D you can't

to renew with this instinct that, with without operation gratite, no amount minimum,

and no free month, you have done, and the T.D. is there to you know, brand new

horror stories brought to life, live. Join me every Sunday at 7 p.m. Eastern Time

on the Doctor No Sleep Podcast YouTube channel, where I narrate fresh, never-before-heard stories in real-time. Just search Dr. No Sleep podcast on YouTube, and make sure you're subscribed with notifications on so you don't miss it. Again what I should be looking for? Gabe sighed and rolled his eyes. Dylan couldn't blame him. He probably should have paid better attention during the debriefing. It'll be a middle-aged man. Well, not a man exactly, but he'll look like a man. Kind of. Okay.

Just, if you hear the name Cousin Johnny, let me know, okay? Cousin Johnny, got it. Gabe walked to the other side of the church, while Dylan lingered at the back of the crowd. Funerals had never been his thing. Not that they were anybody's thing, but Dylan particularly despised them. They reminded him of cold hands,

empty apologies, and endless sorrow, not his fondest memories to say the least. At least, today's casket contained a man well into his 80s, who lived a good, long life, according to his family anyway. Dylan didn't actually know the man. He didn't know any of the weeping family and friends surrounding him either. Dylan wasn't here to mourn. He was here to work. He'd recently been assigned to the Mobile Task Force known as party crashers, which apparently wasn't as much fun as it sounded. Dylan loved a good wedding, not to mention the opportunity to meet a cute Catholic girl. But Gabe quickly made it clear that this job,

was not all fun in games, especially not at funerals, or weddings for that matter. Not when good old cousin Johnny showed up. As people began sliding into pews, Dylan took a seat at the back of the church. He scanned the crowd, looking into the sorrowful faces of those around him for anything out of the ordinary. There were plenty of middle-aged men, but how was he to know which one was Johnny? As the sermon droned on, his gaze snagged on a woman in the pew across from him. Her eyes shone with tears, and her cheeks glistened with moisture, making her look like a dark-haired angel. She stared straight ahead, completely unaware of his gaze. They had yet to determine why the anomaly preferred Catholics and Anglicans.

Maybe it was because they had the best women. Movement from the corner of his eye tore Dylan's gaze away from the beautiful woman. Across the church, Gabe was walking up the aisle to the exit, already reaching in his pocket for a pack of smokes. He signaled to Dylan, and Dylan nodded in understanding. But the second he was out of sight, Dylan was lost and thought again. Just as he was appreciating the skill required in making stained glass windows, a different voice rang out over the pews. Boy letters, church pain stuff in circles forever.

Dylan cocked his head, certain he must have misheard. The priest was absent from the pulpit, and at the front of the church stood a middle-aged man speaking confidently. albeit absurdly, to the crowd in what Dylan could only assume was some sort of eulogy. Did they say something about this in the debrief? To be honest, Dylan hadn't even read the file they gave him. He meant to, he just forgot. And before he got the chance, he was called to the funeral.

While the strange man spoke, a woman in the front pew stood up and approached the coffin. She appeared to be in her 60s, probably the deceased's daughter or something. She walked calmly and stood beside the casket. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, until she pulled out a knife. The steel glinted in the soft candlelight as she raised it. For a split second, Dylan thought she was about to stab the corpse, but what she did was much worse. With the crowd looking on and the strange man still speaking,

the woman slit her wrists. Blood immediately poured from the wounds, darkening her black dress. She held her hands above the coffin, watching the thick liquid fill the... box. She remained standing like nothing was happening. She didn't even scream or cry. No one did. No one reacted at all, not even Dylan. He was too stunned to speak, too surprised to move. He sat in the wooden pew with his jaw on the floor, slowly connecting the puzzle pieces as if they weren't right in front of him. Oh God! Gabe's voice jolted something in Dylan's brain,

and he could finally move again. He shot up from his seat and glanced between the middle-aged speaker and the woman bleeding out on the carpet. He turned back to his partner, colored in shame and horror. I'm guessing that's Johnny. Gabe frowned. You think? Now hurry up. We've got to get him out of here before this gets worse. It gets worse? That woman just killed herself. She won't die. Gabe said impatiently. But the longer this goes on, the bigger a mess we'll have to clean up. As they sprinted down the aisle, a young man joined the woman near the casket and took the knife from her. Dylan's shoulders loosened in relief. But then the man pulled up the sleeves of his jacket. Dylan's steps faltered, but Gabe ran even faster. Get Johnny! He shouted over his shoulder. That's what Dylan should have

done. But instead, he kept his eyes on the young man as Gabe tackled him to the ground and wrenched the knife from his hands seconds before it pierced his skin. Only when Gabe looked at him, did Dylan turn his attention to Johnny. But the man, or creature, or whatever he was, was no longer there. Damn it! Gabe shouted when he also noticed the empty pulpit. He turned his furious gaze to Dylan. What the hell happened? I stepped out for one second. You should have been ready as soon as he started speaking. Dylan opened his mouth, but the only thing that came out was a painful whine.

I'm sorry. I wasn't expecting that. It was all in the file. Didn't you read the file? Of course. Dylan lied. Gabe took a deep breath and lowered his voice, a tinge of pity peeking through. It's always a shock the first time. Weddings are worse. Baptisms are nightmares. Dylan wanted to ask what happened at weddings and baptisms, but he was already supposed to know. He really should have read that file. What happens now?

The woman and young man still stood by the casket, but their sense of purpose had dissipated. They both stared at her wrists in confusion, as if unable to comprehend how the wounds appeared. The crowd began muttering amongst themselves and low voices. call backup, Gabe answered. And since you could have prevented this, you're on cleaning duty. Dylan grimaced at the puddle of blood, sitting in the casket and dripping onto the carpet. Better cancel any plans you have. Gabe cracked his knuckles and surveyed the crowd. It's going to be a long night. When Dylan finally returned home that night, after cleaning the casket and carpet and overseeing the amnestization of everyone at the funeral, he opened the file on Cousin' Johnny,

starting with black-level events, such as the one he had just witnessed. His hands shook by the time he finished the section, and he couldn't bring himself to read the rest. He thought cleaning blood was bad, but if they hadn't stopped Johnny on time, he would have vomited a mix of blood, wood pulp, and cicadas into the coffin, not to mention, every person at the funeral would have taken a turn with the knife. Dylan thought of that beautiful woman he'd noticed and shuddered at the thought of her slitting her pale, delicate wrists. Gabe assured him that, despite the blood loss, the woman who'd cut herself would live. While Cousin Johnny was clearly a fan of violence and gore, it seemed he drew the line at

death. But Dylan failed to read the back of the final page. He missed the list of side effects pertaining to all the participants of a black-level event. He closed the file without really knowing what Cousin Johnny could do. Was it fate that again brought Dylan face-to-face with the angelic woman from the church? Or was it his new habit of shopping at the grocery store located in a prominent Catholic neighborhood? Did she materialize in the refrigerator section because he wanted her to? Or were they simply destined to be together? Either way, he was determined to make a move this time.

Hello? She was startled and let go of the refrigerator handle. The door slammed closed as her eyes turned to his. She was even more beautiful up close. Her skin was flawless. And even though she was dressed in joggers and a t-shirt, she cut a fine figure. Hello, she said softly. I'm Dylan. I saw you at the...

He was about to say funeral before he realized that she would have no memory of that. Church. He finished lamely. She brightened. Oh, do you go to St. Helens, too? He nodded. Yeah, I just started. I'm kind of new to this whole faith thing, so it'd be nice to know someone there.

Well, now you know me. She held out her hand. I'm Elizabeth. Her hand was soft and perfectly fit in his. He couldn't help but clasp it with both his own, if only for a heartbeat. It's great to meet you. Would you want to go out for coffee sometime? She hesitated, and he quickly added.

So I can learn more about Catholicism in the church. Was he a jerk for using religion to get a date? Probably. But the woman was so gorgeous that he didn't care. Oh. Yeah, I'd love that. Great, let me give you my number. They set a date, and Dylan left the grocery store empty-handed, having forgotten what he'd gone for.

It started with attraction, but the relationship quickly became so much more. As Dylan got to know Elizabeth, he realized that she was truly perfect for him. She was smart and funny, and she refused to put up with bullshit. His mother would have loved her, and he loved her more for that reason alone. She didn't know about his work, and he didn't tell his co-workers about her, but they knew he was seeing someone. When he and Gabe were sent to a Catholic wedding a few weeks later, he couldn't help but picture him and Beth at the front of the church. That was beautiful, he said afterwards, when the wedding was blissfully uneventful. Gabe gave him a strange look, but said nothing.

Dylan even went to church with Beth, and while he didn't plan on converting any time soon, he genuinely enjoyed getting to know the community. He knew he was putting himself in a precarious situation, given what he did for a living. But Beth was worth it. If he saw someone he knew at an event, he simply avoided them. That worked for a while, but it was only a matter of time before everything came crashing down. Beth called him late one evening, sobbing so hard he could barely understand her. When he had finally calmed her down and her breathing slowed, she said,

What? Why would he do that? She cried. My sister has stopped speaking to me. My parents are getting a divorce. Beth, honey, just breathe, okay? We're going to get through this. Oh, he murdered them, Dylan. His own parents.

Dylan had met this 16-year-old on numerous occasions, and Dean had seemed like a kind and caring young man. He couldn't imagine him doing something so horrendous. Did he have any history of violence? Silence? Nothing. Dylan tried to avoid thinking about the funeral where he'd first seen Beth. He managed to avoid seeing cousin Johnny again, and he didn't like to picture him or think about what he did, but he was thinking about it now. And for the second time since he'd received the new job, he connected the dots too slowly. He murmured words of comfort into the phone, but his

palms began to sweat as he searched his desk for the file. He nearly ripped the pages trying to get it open, and a few of them fell to the floor. He picked up the one closest to him and felt his heart dropped. You there? Beth's voice sounded like an echo from far away as he scanned the words he'd somehow not seen before. Divorce. Suicide. Patricide. The more he read, the sicker he felt. Domestic violence, cannibalism. It was all there, Britain in Sancerif. Dylan? Beth, why don't you go to your friend Hannah's house for the night? I don't think you should be alone right now.

Dylan spoke quickly, suddenly desperate to get off the phone. She hiccpped. Yes, tomorrow. He said just before he hung up, his eyes still on the papers in front of him. There's something else here now. Something new. From exclusively on Paramount Plus, it's the series Stephen King calls Scary as Hell. Everything here is impossible, but it's also real.

Sci-Fi Vision calls it the best show streaming right now. We're running out of time and we still don't know the rules. Don't miss what the movie blog calls something you need to watch. Saving those children is how we all go home. From Binge All Episodes exclusively on Paramount Plus. You look like shit. Gabe greeted him when they met outside the church. Dylan grimaced.

He'd spent all night scouring the files, learning everything he could about Cousin Johnny. Then he spent the morning with Beth before racing to the wedding. It killed him to listen to her cry about her family falling apart. All the while, he knew exactly why it was happening. He couldn't tell her, of course. But maybe, if they finally caught this monster once and for all, everything would stop. It was his only hope.

Do you think he'll show? Gabe shrugged. Just no way to know. All we can do is be ready if he does. Dylan nodded. This time, he was ready. This time, he knew what to expect. During the few hours of sleep he managed to catch.

He had nightmares about the upcoming wedding, replaying hours of studying files about the SCP. In his dreams, he sat in the front pew, staring straight at the spectacle, but unable to move. All he could do was watch as the monster, disguised as the best man, handed the groom a pair of pliers. Nobody in the audience moved a muscle

as the man pulled out his own teeth without so much as a wince. Then it was the bride's turn. She smiled as she grabbed. the pliers and was still smiling afterwards. Even as blood poured from her mouth and stained her white dress. They exchanged teeth like rings and ate them like candy, their jaws cracking on the denticles. Then the groom opened his bloody mouth and let out a cicada song that Dylan felt in his bones. The bride's smile faltered for a second as she lost her hearing, but she quickly put it back in place as if nothing had changed. When the best man handed the

couple a present, Dylan knew what it contained before they opened the box. They saw the smiled as they peaked inside. Over joy to have been given dead bugs, human hair, and 23 human teeth. They held up the box as if it were a beloved child, their mouths still bleeding in their jaws, sitting awkwardly on their faces. Dylan could finally move, and as he examined the crowd, he saw what each person's future contained. Their lives flashed before his eyes, arguments in bedrooms as couples looked at yet another negative pregnancy test, tears, streaming down faces as they struggled to understand how, even though they were physically able to have children, none came.

Divorce, suicide, endless sorrow, loneliness, and guilt. And that was just the adults. The children at the wedding would face worse. Most of them didn't have a future at all. He watched in horror as one after the other pulled out their teeth until the blood blocked their airways. Others bit their own wrists until they bled out, Their little bodies growing cold in a pool of blood.

His gaze turned back to the newlyweds. They would have a child, but it would bring more pain than joy. They would hold their disfigured son in their arms and stare into his eyes, knowing he was not long for the world. They would remove their rings shortly after the funeral and never speak again. Dylan finally came out of his thoughts. We have to stop him. Dylan failed to keep the desperation from his voice as he recalled those horrible images.

Gabe raised his eyebrows. Yeah, that's why we're here. No, I mean for good. For good? Gabe laughed, but there was no humor in it. It's impossible to stop him for good. Even when we do manage to catch him, he always slips out of our grasp. The best we can do is interrupt the events where he shows up.

We can prevent the situation from getting out of control, but we can't prevent it completely. Dylan's heart sank. There must be a way. There has to be. There isn't. Look, if you can't handle this job, then... No, it's not that.

Then what is it? Why are you so desperate to catch him all of a sudden? Dylan squirmed under his partner's scrutiny. He looked away as realization dawned in Gabe's eyes. The girl you're seeing? She's Catholic, isn't she? Dylan didn't answer, and that was answer enough. Listen, maybe she'll never even see this guy.

She already has, Dylan said softly. She was at the funeral. Oh my God, Dylan. You have to leave her. Now. He shook his head, even as he envisioned Beth as the bride pulling her own teeth. I can't. I love her. If she was at the funeral, she can't have children. You know that, right? I know.

Bad things happen to these people, Dylan. Very bad things. I know, he said more forcefully. This isn't going to end well. I don't care. She's worth it. Gabe's mouth settled into a firm line. I highly doubt that. You're making a huge mistake here, Dylan. Dylan, this is a severe conflict of interest. If you choose to keep dating this woman, you can no longer work this job.

Dylan nodded. I figured as much. You'll have to be amnesticized and reassigned. You'll end up in maintenance or some shitty paying job. I know. Gabe sighed. You sure she's worth it? Dylan pictured his beautiful Beth, her shining eyes and kind smile.

Absolutely. Less than a year later, Dylan stood at the front of the church, watching his bride walk down the aisle. The sun shone through the stained glass windows, making her look like a walking angel, and he experienced a strange sense of deja vu. Her dark hair rippled down her back, and her bright white dress hugged her curves and flowed behind her.

She beamed with happiness as she approached him. He smiled at his parents, sitting in the front row, and playfully winked at his three nieces and nephews. His brother joked about Dylan getting cold feet, but there had been no chance of that. When Dylan took Beth's hands in his, he knew he was exactly where he was meant to be. Nothing would ruin this moment or their future together.

He barely heard the priest during the ceremony. He was a bundle of nerves and excitement. His hands shook as he placed a ring on her finger. After everything they'd endured the past year, it almost felt unbelievable that they could be so happy. It was like the calm before the storm. Yet there was blissfully no storm in sight. They had nothing but smooth sailing ahead of them.

This was his thought as he took the pliers from his best man and brought them to his mouth. Instances of SCP 2852 have the appearance of a middle-aged white male. Biologically, the cells of SCP 2852 instances are genetically identical and human. However, instances do not have any identifiable organs. Their bodies are made up of fibrous muscular tissue, with the teeth and hair being made out of chitin, chemically similar to those of the Sikadidi family. The eyes of SCP-2852 instances, while looking non-anomalous from a distance, are set in the sockets without any nerve connection.

While capable of speech, despite having no vocal cords or analogous organs, SCP-2852 instances do not show any grasp of language, speaking in a word salad. Despite this, all individuals at an SCP-2852 compatible event will perceive the subject as speaking intelligibly and will regard its actions as normal, unless briefed of its anomalous properties beforehand. Individuals describe SCP 2852 as being playful with a crude sense of humor, and all individuals affected in an SCP-2852 event will refer to the subject as Cousin Johnny. While sentient, SCP-2852 instances do not appear sapient. SCP-2852 instances appear at various Catholic and Anglican religious functions

and are treated as being an established member of the family. Instances of SCP-2852 are accepted, regardless of family resemblance or ethnicity. The entity appears at baptisms, weddings, and funerals, referred to as blue-level, white-level, and black-level. events respectively. Currently, no SCP-2852 instance has been found to appear at any other family gathering. Thanks for listening. Be sure to click that follow button with all notifications on to get notified every time a new episode is released.