The SCP Experience - Demon Dan the Body Man | SCP-5049

Episode Date: January 27, 2023

SCP Foundation KETER class object, SCP-5049: Demon Dan the Body Man This story was derived from https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-5049, and is released under Creative Commons Sharealike 3.0. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/ Author: Matt Doggett Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/MatthewDoggettAuthor/ Website/Newsletter sign up: matthewdoggettauthor.com New Book Releases: https://www.amazon.com/Matthew-G-Doggett/e/B08FD5378Z DISCLAIMER: This episode contains explicit content. Parental guidance is advised for children under the age of 18. Listen at your own discretion. #thescpexperience #scp #scpfoundation #scpencounters #securecontainprotect #scpstories #scpexplained #whatisscp Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I laughed at the good-hearted hijinks of a man named Earl on my television set. I was sitting on my couch, enjoying some much-needed downtime. Then a muffled voice from downstairs interrupted my good time. It was an annoying voice, one I'd come to resent as it regularly intruded on my thoughts. I rolled my eyes and said, Shut up. But I didn't say it loud enough for her to hear me. Not even close.

I didn't want to go down there and talk to her. I'd done it once before, and it didn't help. In fact, I think she got louder. Eventually, I would have to do something about it, but not right now. She continued talking loudly. Even though I couldn't make out the words she was saying, I grabbed the remote and turned the volume up on my TV. The blonde woman on the screen was giving Earl a hard time again.

I laughed, slapping my left hand down onto my knee. And I kept laughing until the TV was on a commercial break, at which point my laughter died down. A car insurance ad came on, one with a guy in a suit who was always causing accidents. I watched, zoning out, thinking about other things. But the next commercial brought me out of my momentary days. It was one I'd never seen before.

The words Demon Dan's discount among the ones, The Inculus Depot appeared on the screen in powder-blue bubble letters over a white background. The words and background faded away, replaced by a large creature with green skin, patches of dark fur all over, and yellow, lizard-like eyes. Two small horns protruded from its humanoid forehead, and it wore a white button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up. He stood behind a counter with a row of extremely detailed naked mannequins behind him. Hey there, you deleterious devils.

Demon Dan here from Demon Dan's discount homunculus depot to tell you all about a fire sale we're having. As he spoke, he walked out from behind the counter, the camera panning with him. Unlike ants in my eyes, Johnson, I can clearly see the savings you'll be reaping when you shop for a new carcass at my discount depot. Ready to practice some toxic masculinity. I've got hundreds of fresh male bodies to choose from. Demon Dan walked down a row of bodies hanging along the wall, gesturing like a model on the home shopping network. No way, I said, leaning forward. The bodies all looked so real. But I knew this had to be some kind of joke. Still, it was entertaining. Someone would be getting fired for airing this commercial. That much was sure.

Or maybe you're looking to make some teenagers cry at various retail establishments. Demon Dan continued, moving deeper into a store. If that's the case, come see our selection of Cairns. They come in all colors, shapes, and sizes. Sure enough, there was a row of women's bodies along the wall behind him. He stopped and put his claw-like hands on his hips and smiled awkwardly at the camera. There was a transition, and Demon Dan was standing in a different part of the store, an array of impressive physical specimens behind him.

If you're looking to wreak a little more havoc, check out our warrior section. These bodies can take a beating and keep on killing, guaranteed. If the bodies behind him were full size, Demon Dan was huge, well over 10 feet tall. Another transition eliminated the scene and brought another one up. This time, there were rows of children's bodies hanging behind Demon Dan. These ones fully dressed. Maybe you've recently watched The Omen and want to have a little bit.

They want to have a little fun with the humans, or you just feel like being spoiled while on earth. No matter the need, we've got the bodies. And if you're traveling with a group, we offer steep discounts on family packages. Buy two parents, we'll throw in a kid for free. Sorry, but same-sex couples are not included. The television cut to black, and then a spinning image came rushing up to fill the screen. Demon Dan was standing in front of yet more bodies, but some of them I recognized If you're looking to live the good life on Earth, you'll want one of our celebrity look-alike packages.

From Drake and Beyonce to Patrick Mahomes and Mark Zuckerberg, there's no shortage of options. So come on down to Demon Dan's discount on Monkeless Depot. If you're seeing this, you meet you're invited. Just go through the nearest door to start shopping now. Welcome to board of Via Raii. Embarked and profite. Embarked and relaxes. Cirotay. Bookine.

Oh, that also. And profite. Villaray, the voice that we love. I was leaning forward. Staring intently at the screen as the commercial ended. It was replaced by one from a major fast food franchise. I looked at the nearest door, which was the one to my hall closet. and then shook my head.

No way, I said to myself. But then I thought, what have you got to lose? I stood up and walked over to the closet door, feeling more and more ridiculous with each step. But I had already committed to the action. So I reached out, grabbed the doorknob, and opened the closet door. A massive room stretched out before me,

lined with bodies on all sides. There were rows in the middle of the store. space, like those in a grocery store. But instead of boxes and bags and bottles, there were bodies. I stepped through, unwilling to believe it wasn't some trick. And as soon as I was in, the door disappeared from behind me. I hardly noticed. Music played from unseen speakers. The place had the smell of a secondhand store, with a distinct tinge of body odor. Gazing around in wonder, my attention was drawn to a strange creature that looked like a cross between a gremlin and a xenomorph from the alien movies. It was probing a male body, like kicking the tires on a car.

But since it wasn't much more than two feet tall, it had to climb up to inspect the cadaver. Hey! A familiar voice called. You put any holes in that skin, you buy it. The creature scurried down off the body as Demon Dan approached. He spotted me and did a double-take. What the hell? He said, turning toward me.

He was huge, 12 feet tall, and his feet ended in hooves, something I hadn't seen in the commercial since his lower legs were never in the shot. You're not supposed to be here, he said, clobbing toward me. I backed away, intimidated by the sheer size of him. And, you know, the fact that he was a freaking demon. But I saw the commercial, I said weakly. And I came through the door, just like you said. He stopped in front of me.

I had to crane my neck to look up at his lizard eyes. Well, that's a mistake I'll just have to live with. Damn marketing team, bunch of idiots. Fine, I said. I'll just go. Show me the way out. Demon Dan smiled, revealing sharp teeth I'd only glimpsed in the commercial. I'm afraid that's not possible, he said.

My throat thickened. But, I said. He scooped me up with one clawed hand, holding me around the torso, squeezing the breath out of me. Second one today, he said, looking at me but talking to himself, that ain't good. I was struggling against his grip, kicking my arms and legs as he walked me to a back wall and went through a huge door. We moved into a warehouse-like area with all kinds of machinery and strange creatures busy working. The constant whir of mechanical components filled the room, and the smell of the smell of the a fresh meat was unmistakable. I could see a line of cages against one wall, right next to a conveyor

belt on which loose human skin was traveling under orange lights. One of the cages was occupied by a fat man in loungeware, much like myself. Demon Dan strode over to the line of cages and threw me inside one. Then he called a strange creature over, one that looked like a sheep, but with fuzzy brown bear-like arms sticking out of its sides, and a face like a side. smashed raccoon. Grind these two up and use them as filling. Demon Dan told the creature. The sheep creature looked over and smiled with its hideous raccoon face,

its bare paws coming together, claws clacking and delight. With pleasure. With that, Dan went back into the showroom, and the sheep creature approached. Oh God! The guy in the cage next to mine blubbered. He was an older guy with a big belly and a food-stained shirt. He looked.

like he had been in the middle of an epic television watching session when the commercial came on. He peered through the bars at me, eyes wide and wet. You gotta help me, man, he said. My name's Roger Eccles. I'm a good man. I have kids. I don't deserve this. Give me out of here. My position was starting to dawn on me, so I didn't answer. Not that I could have helped him anyway.

I was clearly in the exact same situation. The sheep creature peered through the bars at us. smiling. Then it called over another worker and explained the job to him. Let's do it then, the identical worker said. My break's coming up soon. They each opened a cage and used their bare arms to pull us out. Their arms were incredibly strong. The other guy struggled, and his sheep creature slammed his head into the cage for his trouble. The two creatures held us tightly with their paws as they escorted us through the machinery and up some metal stairs onto a platform overlooking a large,

funnel-shaped bat with warring blades inside. Roger said, squirming as the creature pushed him closer to the edge and the whirring blades below. No, please! I was sweating profusely, my entire body cold and shaking. I glanced around frantically, looking for something, anything that could help me. My creature was still holding on to me, but he turned to watch Roger go into the bat. I felt his grip loosen, just slightly. Roger's creature gave him. a shove, and the man screamed as he fell headfirst into the bat. There was a splatting sound as his scream cut off. A gout of blood, geysered up and fell back down into the spinning blades, now stained red.

I took my chance, wrenching myself out of the grip and crying out as the bear claws tore into the skin of my upper arms. I jumped forward and shoved the other creature, sending it screaming into the blades. Then I turned and launched myself over the side railing, landing hard on the concrete floor below. My right ankle crunched on impact, and I knew I'd really messed something up. Still, I got up and limped away, losing myself in the maze of machinery before the remaining sheep creature could get down the stairs. I crawled under a low table, hung with drying human skins, and tried to gather myself, thinking about my next move.

I had no idea how to get out of here, wherever here was. But I had to do something, told myself, think. And that's just what I did. I thought until I was interrupted by the sound of Demon Dan's voice. Oh, human! He called, stretching out the second word in a sing-song voice. Human! You can't hide forever!

He was coming closer. I knew I only had one shot at this. One shot at getting out alive. So I took a deep breath, swallowed my fear, and crawled out from under the long metal table. I have something you want! I called out. Demon Dan emerged from behind a large metal tube, smiling thinly at me.

Yes, you do. He said, You have a body I can use for stuffing. I mean, I can work with other bodies. Animals and such with a little black magic, but humans work best. He came over, his two hooves clumping along the concrete over the buzz of complex equipment. No, I said. I have more than that, much more.

He struck out with one clawed hand, gripping me and lifting me up once again. Is that so? He asked, squeezing. Yes, I gasped. I can show you. Prove it to you. My ribs creaked as Dan compressed them. I thought I felt one crack.

My lungs burned and my vision blurred. He studied me with his lizard eyes. Lids narrowed. Then he loosened his grip on me. Okay, he said. Let's see what you got. I stepped through the closet doorway and into my house. Behind me, Demon Dan stepped through, stooping low to keep from hitting his head.

Even in my house, he had to stoop because my ceilings were too low for him. Leading the way, I moved down the hall to the basement door. I unfastened several locks on the door and opened it. As I walked down the stairs, I heard the woman's voice from earlier, the one I'd heard while watching television. She was gibbering incoherently. At the bottom of the stairs, I turned on the light, and the woman stopped talking. Demon Dan stepped into the open basement area behind me.

See? I said. Do you want bodies? I've got some for you. Demon Dan surveyed the five women I had locked up in cages in my basement. Cages much like the one I'd been thrown into in the back of Demon Dan's depot. I looked up at the creature and saw that he was smiling. I think we can work something out.

He said. SCP 5049 is a pocket dimension known as Demon Dan's discount homunculus depot and its related anomalies. The exact properties and full extent of SCP 5049 are currently unknown. Access to the dimension is only possible through SCP 5049-1 instances. Dash 1 instances are extraspatial portals capable of accessing SCP-5049 through previously non-anomalous doorways. These doorways become dash one instances when SCP 549-2 is watched and will remain so for 15 minutes before spontaneously de-manifesting. Dash 2 is a two-minute infomercial for Demon Dan's discount homunculus depot, which is capable of interrupting television broadcasts. The humanoid entity present in the broadcast, known as Demon Dan, has been designated SCP-49-A.

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