The Sean McDowell Show - Surviving the Indian Ocean Tsunami at 13: A Supernatural Account

Episode Date: August 27, 2024

Monica Connelly was vacationing on a beach in Thailand with her parents on Dec. 26, 2004, when the Indian Ocean Tsunami struck the shore. She struggled to get her bearings underwater as she tried to reach the surface. Connelly was unable to breathe and her whole body was in pain, but she could "feel like this was God guiding me. “Surviving A Tsunami At Thirteen: A Memoir” was published this fall and details her experience. She joins me to discuss that fateful day from 20 years ago and how she believes God supernaturally saved her life. READ: Surviving A Tsunami At Thirteen: A Memoir (https://amzn.to/4dJ30tJ) *Get a MASTERS IN APOLOGETICS or SCIENCE AND RELIGION at BIOLA (https://bit.ly/3LdNqKf) *USE Discount Code [SMDCERTDISC] for 25% off the BIOLA APOLOGETICS CERTIFICATE program (https://bit.ly/3AzfPFM) *See our fully online UNDERGRAD DEGREE in Bible, Theology, and Apologetics: (https://bit.ly/448STKK) FOLLOW ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA: Twitter: https://twitter.com/Sean_McDowell TikTok: @sean_mcdowell Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/seanmcdowell/ Website: https://seanmcdowell.org

It's been 20 years since the Indian Ocean tsunami that killed about a quarter million people. Our guest today was 13 years old at the time, and she lost her parents as they were vacationing together in Thailand. And Monica has a supernatural story to tell about how it literally transformed her faith. This December 26th, 2024, quite amazing to realize,

is 20 years removed from the tsunami. So in some ways, it's a perfect time for discussion. Monica, thanks so much for taking the time to share your story and come on today. Thank you for having me. It's an honor. Well, I want to jump right in because I'm guessing 20 years removed, you're not like, oh, that happened in the past and I've moved on with my life. I'm guessing the past 20 years, you've probably thought about that day every single day of your life.

So as much as you're comfortable, where are you emotionally now, given that I'm guessing you're about 33 since the tsunami. You were 13 years old. Maybe tell us where you are now before we jump into your story. Right now, I live a very blessed life. I'm married. I have children. I have a church that I really enjoy. We cook good people. And I just see God's blessings everywhere. I feel very blessed with my second life.

Okay, amazing. How much do you talk with your kids about this? And maybe when did you first bring it up? What happened to their grandparents? So with the book, I've been doing some events where I share my story and my kids come with me. My oldest is only five. So he's starting to understand that mommy survived the tsunami, but he doesn't fully grasp what it means. And I tell him that Jesus saved mommy from a tsunami. And both of them are very into, they love Jesus. They're always praying, worshiping. It's really cute to see. And I hope that when they grow up, I can share more of my story with them and help them make the choice to follow Jesus.

I can only imagine how tough that would be with any issue. We want to talk to our kids in age-appropriate ways, but this is like a devastating, huge thing. You want to talk to them at the right time, and there's no book that's been written on how to do this for tsunami or trauma survivors. Well, maybe before we get to what you describe as kind of a supernatural experience and how you believe God saved you from the tsunami, let's go back. So tell us about your family growing up, kind of your mom and your dad, maybe siblings. Paint that picture for us, if you will.

So we are Portuguese, but we always lived abroad. And at the time of the tsunami, we were actually living in China. And I grew up in a culture with a great mix of different religions. So we had Catholicism and Hinduism and Buddhism and Taoism. And my mother was a new age and my father, he had been raised Catholic and he hated the church with a passion. He hated it. And Jesus along with the church. So I was somewhat in the middle.

And I looking back, I see that I had a healthy skepticism towards my mother's new age. But I also didn't agree with my father whenever he would talk about Jesus. I always felt compelled to defend Jesus. And now I see maybe it was God, the Holy Spirit already working in me because it just didn't feel right. And I would tell him not to blame Jesus for the church's faults. And then my mother, she would have visions and dreams, and many of them would come true. But I wanted to believe in the God that she preached,

this loving God that would guide her but there's always something a little off I suppose you know I understand again that God was perhaps protecting me because now I do believe that maybe some of those dreams weren't from God and they were demonic and visions she would have. And I would tell her, for example, she would dream that my brother, I have an older brother, years old, he wasn't in Thailand when the tsunami happened. He was actually studying in Australia. So she had a dream that he would buy his first car would be white. So when it was time to buy him a car, she would only consider the white ones. And I pointed out, of course, it's going to be white because you're not even looking at anything else.

So there was a little, you know, she was making it become true. And so I had that, I think, healthy skepticism. But I wanted to believe in God. And she did teach me to have a relationship with God. And I would talk with God, the God of the universe, I wasn't sure what category to put him in. But Jesus was completely out of the picture for me. I had went gone to a Catholic Church one time just to see how it was and I really didn't like it and I went home saying that my father was right all along and so I just naturally fell into the idea that Jesus was just a very good teacher like Gandhi or a Buddha he was in the Buddhism's Jesus is just another Buddha so that's how I saw it I never

considered him any further yeah so so I think you somewhat hinted at this but I was curious why your dad not only rejected Christianity, but was so strong against it. Was it a bad experience he had? Was it hypocrisy? What caused him to be so charged against the church as far as you could tell at 13 years old? From what I could tell, he just didn't have good experiences as a child because he was, as a child he was forced to go to church and he didn't like it i don't know if there's anything more i'm sure as he grew up he started seeing some hypocrisy for sure um and that just drove him away and so so heading into this family vacation in 2004

you guys went to thailand you certainly were not a Christian, thought Jesus was just a good moral teacher and somewhere torn between your mom and your dad in terms of their worldview. Is that fair? Yeah. I started falling more into the idea of yin and yang, the balance of good and evil. That at the time made more sense for me at 13, how there's a dichotomy of everything. So that's what I believed in. And it was new age because it wasn't pure Buddhism.

It wasn't pure Hinduism. It wasn't pure anything. It was just pieces of all of them put together. And I see it as me just seeking truth and trying to have a relationship with God that I still didn't know. Okay. Well, let's step into that trip.

Tell us about, you know, obviously two decades ago, who went on this trip, what you were expecting, like just family vacation to thailand to have a good time like is there anything else that we should know about heading into this trip before we get to that fateful day well um we weren't even supposed to go to thailand at first it was all last minute and And then they did plan it.

And my brother was supposed to meet us. But he tells because he had a knee injury. He had a surgery and he was in so much pain. He didn't want to fly. So he didn't come to meet us. And that was good. As for us, we, well, we made it to Thailand. Our resort was far away from the beach because it was all last minute. So all of those right on the sand, they're all booked out. And it was close to a diving school because that was going to be my Christmas present. I was going

to become a certified scuba diver, which is something that I had always dreamed about. I always felt a great connection with the ocean. When I was four, I used to call myself a mermaid. I just loved the ocean. Like, I loved it. So this course was my dream come true, and I finished it on the 25th,

the next day, the tsunami. So on the 26th, we woke up late. So we lost all the transportation to the beach because we needed to take a shuttle bus because again, the resort was far away. And strangely the the employee at the desk he didn't want to call us a taxi or anything it was just very odd but eventually he does i suspect maybe my father gave him a little money um and we get to the beach when we get there i see no water uh so i'm freshly new diver all i want is getting the water and there is no water so i have a thought that let's just leave um but it was just so difficult to get there. I thought, no, I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to tell my parents I want to leave because we just got here. It took us a while. How ungrateful of me that would be. So I didn't say anything and eventually find a spot.

Hold on. You say maybe we should leave because I had heard before that before a tsunami, the water goes out far. Is that why you sensed that? You had heard that before or just literally an instinct that something was wrong? Yeah, I didn't know that at all. Okay. I just wanted to leave because there was no water, so there was no diving for me. It wasn't anything. Okay. Eventually find a spot

in front of this other resort and there's a few teenagers running around just covering their eyes trying to look at the horizon because the water is really far back it's just a thin line on the horizon

and that was strange but we're not from there so we don't know that it's not normal and fish were everywhere which should have been another sign that the water receded too fast but still we're just so ignorant we we didn't know and a lot of people didn't know because we weren't the only ones at the beach just a normal day except there's no water so there's nothing to do but walk and my father and i start walking and i we go on a little mission of saving the fish started putting them in puddles and little streams and that's it and at some point he gets her on his foot like it's he's bleeding he heads back and I continue on my own just unconsciously just moving forward towards the

horizon um and then I just hear this horrifying scream and it's my name being called out. And it's my mother screaming my name. And I've never heard the scream like that. It was just very odd. I look back and I run to her and I realized that I was really far away. And I think, oh, that's why she's panicking because I'm so far away. But I get next to her and she barely acknowledges me, just tells me to pick up my things. There's no reprimand for being far away, nothing. And she starts saying certain things that for me to pick up my things, for my father to stop taking pictures because he was taking pictures. And it all matches perfectly a dream that she had for 30 years and that she had told me just before this trip god only knows why

she told me but she told me the dream and she was saying the exact same things in portuguese and in that moment i realized we were in her dream and this dream was about a giant wave as she would call it and it always ended in the same way where the wave caught up to her and then it was just black nothing else and so i i knew i was in her dream and i needed to listen to what she was saying because she lived this many times over 30 years so I just obeyed her but at the same time I didn't make the connection that this was a tsunami it was just a very strange place where part of me knows that I'm in danger but part of me doesn't know um the water comes and it's not like the movies.

It doesn't look like a giant wave. It looks quite normal. And there was this police boat, military boat in the horizon that was stranded in the sand. So the water goes under it and the boat just balances a little bit. And because the boat is so big and the wave is big and it's all at a distance, it's all proportional. And it just looked like nothing. And in my innocence, I thought the water was coming

to fill up the empty space and that it would stop, but it didn't stop and people started running. And I thought that was ridiculous that they were running away and then we had to run away to get out of the way of the water. The water started invading this resource and I was running just because my parents told me to. I didn't think, I thought the whole thing was very silly. I didn't think I was in danger. I think I thought the water was eventually going to stop and everything would be fine but it never stops and at some point i just get into what i call instinct mode and i'm just running for my life and i'm not thinking about anything i don't know what anything means but there's also no fear um

and there's no emotion because um i was running just ahead of my parents and i have a sequence of images that are just um imprinted in my memories forever where i'm running i look back and there's my parents, lots of other people. And then next image is just my parents. And then next image is just my father. And then next one, just water. And this all just in the moment, it didn't mean anything except that I needed to run faster. So there was no emotion. There was no time to feel anything. It was just pure instinct. And I think that was good that it was like that. Otherwise, I might have panicked and died. I managed to run and hide behind this facility building, very small.

And there's a bunch of people already behind it. So I just squeeze into the edge and the water starts surrounding it. At first, very slowly, and then it just gains a lot of strength. And because I'm at the edge of this house, the water drags me by my feet very forcefully. And a woman next to me, she extends her leg and lasts a tent of me just grabbing her, but it was too late and I'm swallowed in. And that's the first time I'm underwater. So, yeah, yeah. Uh, and again, no fear, uh, instinct is to swim and that's what I

go to do. And I realized that I can't swim just normally because I'm surrounded by objects. They all feel like wood planks, branches. Um, there's just so much stuff and that was strange there's so much stuff and i can't just move my arms or legs i'm gonna hit something and and i just feel like another just another object in the water So of course the question is what do I do? How do I swim? And this voice tells me to use the obstacles as a ladder, quite literally. And I ask it, well, how do I do that? And it brings up a memory. And I really do think it think it didn't come from me. And I have, people have asked me for how does a 13 year old have this kind of discernment? And I don't think I did.

I don't think it was mine. The thoughts were coming and I just obeyed. So the memory of how to use these objects was actually a memory of my father and I in an airplane because he was a pilot and he loved giving me little lessons of physics. And I was also a good student in school and I loved physics. I had good grades. So in this memory, we are inside the airplane, we're sitting next to each other and he has a cup of water on his little table, tray table. And he is explaining to me how we in the airplane and this glass of water, we're all traveling

at the same speed, the speed of the airplane. And that's why the cup to us seems static even though it's not, it's traveling at the same speed of the airplane. And because it's appear static, I can pick it up and move it to different table, my table, and it will stay there. So I tried this on all these things surrounding me.

I just, I felt a plank and I pushed it and I felt and it stayed there when I put it out. And there was my answer. Okay, this is how I do it. This is how I use the obstacles as a ladder. So I was just literally climbing through the obstacles and I would pull them down because I could feel they mostly would. They would then try to go back up and push me with them. Yeah. And that got me to the surface. I get at the surface, I take one breath, I'm pulled down very forcefully. Again, no fear, no panic,

no frustration. Now I know what to do. I know how to swim. I get back to the surface. And again, the same thing happens. It happens many times. I can only get a breath. And at first I think, is someone under me pulling me? And then I realized, oh no, it's physics again. It's just the water because I'm a heavier object. Heavier objects like travel down, not on the surface. So it took all my strength to keep myself at surface because I had to fight this force of nature. It just really took everything I had just to stay at surface and breathing. And, you know, I, and I felt really strong in that moment. I was telling myself, you know, as long as I'm breathing, I'm okay until I didn't I find myself in the air I can see my legs and I don't know how long I was struggling with the water at

this point but it was very strange to suddenly see my legs how can I see them I looked down and I realized that I had been projected over a cliff. It looked like a waterfall to me. And for the first time I feel fear because there's nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, nowhere to grab. Hold on, I can't swim. I'm falling down. And this fear takes over completely. I'm screaming the whole way down and my own scream just feeds more into the fear. And it's all that exists in that moment is fear. And I describe it as being inside a bubble of fear. And the fear is such that I don't remember feeling the impact of the water again. I don't know if it hurt my body or not. I didn't feel it. Just suddenly I'm underwater again. It's

like the bubble burst and I wake up from the state and I go back to swimming and I realized that it was a grave mistake. And I knew right then and there that this was a grave mistake and i knew right then and there that this was a lesson for life that i can never let fear in at any point because it's just going to make a bad situation even worse um because now i was underwater again but because i was screaming the whole way down i didn't have any years left in lungs. And I think I also was deeper in the water this time because it's taking me much longer to get to the surface. And time passes by very slowly. I started feeling pain in my body, like everywhere,

but especially in the chest. That was the worst part. And the image of a black hole came to mind, sucking my life. And the pain was just unbearable. So I tried to use little tricks that I knew and focus on the pains of my limbs, because it was better and focus on my muscles because I could feel every fiber of my muscles working for me. And I actually loved my body. I write this in the book like I was 13 year girl, I had never loved my body before like I did in that

moment. Because I felt he was giving everything it had and didn't have anymore just to keep me alive. And I could feel it all, could feel every cell was working to keep me alive. And I thought that was amazing. Eventually my mind starts drifting. Um, and I remember, uh, a conversation I had with my mother, which I'm not sure if it came from me either. Um, and in this memory, she's telling me stories about other people who had been between life and death and an angel had appeared to them and offer them a choice.

And I could feel this presence that had been guiding me through to a potential point. This voice was in my mind. It never left me and I could feel it there, just silent and waiting. And for the first time I address it and I ask well isn't this the part where you offer me a choice and it does not with the words exactly it first shows me how it would feel to die and all that unbearable pain that just keeps getting worse. I think, you know, it can't possibly be any worse than this. And then it is.

But all the pain starts going away and it's replaced by peace to the point where I have absolutely no pain and just indescribable peace. And I feel such a relief and this feeling of going back home, like my real home, like life wasn't real as this. And I knew that was death or you can live and then the voice spoke or you can live but it didn't offer me any more words or memories or feelings about life there was just nothing so that was wonderful and then there was life and no information whatsoever that made me very curious and it made me think about what my life had been and i was 13 so my life was just school i didn't really accomplish anything i had many plans for the future um but i didn't feel like

i had a chance to even try to fulfill them i didn't feel like I had a chance to even try to fulfill them. I didn't feel like I had even lived for real. And I was just left so curious about life because now I knew how it would feel. And I knew the death was certain if either that day or so many years later, I knew that it was a certainty. But life was not. And I just couldn't die without finding out what my life could be without even trying to make a difference. Even if no one knew my name or what I had done, I would know. And I wanted to find true love. And I knew that life was my chance to do those things, to find those things. So I chose life. And the moment that I do, I tell it, I choose life. That instant, I reached the surface. Let me see.

I was just... I had to surface already. Eventually I pass out, but before I do something really strange happened and for the longest time I thought maybe I hallucinated this because I couldn't control where the water was taking me. And this voice told me not to worry because I could control the water with just my thoughts, right and left. And as I thought right, left, the whole current in front of me was just swift with my thoughts. But I was so exhausted. I told it like, I'm so exhausted. I can't even do that.

I can't even think. I just going to leave it on autopilot. And then I truly pass out completely. Then I don't know how long, how much time passed, but this presence wakes me up, shakes me by my shoulders, and I feel as if there are two hands holding me at the surface so that I wouldn't sink. It's just holding me there. And it feels just like a human being would feel if they were holding you by your shoulders. But there's no one there. And he tells me to call out for God. And then just disappears, vanishes.

I feel really lonely. I realize that this presence had always been with me, not just this day, but all of my life. It had always been there. And I knew that because now it was gone. It was just this vacuum like this nothing nothingness and um so i was i felt completely alone no not only was no one around me i looked around there was no people just in the middle in the middle of the ocean some trees start showing up um and now even spiritually i feel alone it's

but i'm left out with this instruction to call out for god and i struggle and now looking back how silly that i would struggle with this um but i do i struggle because i was meant to call out forgot out loud it was no longer just something in my thoughts. I was to speak it out loud. And I also felt confused because I thought this presence was God all along. But now if it's telling me to call out for God, then it's not God, the God, the Father, right? So eventually I tell myself I have nothing to lose, literally nothing else left to lose. I'm completely alone. So I call out to God and as I say, God, save me,

I realize that I truly mean the words. And there's something about spoken prayers. I just, I really felt those words and before I could say anything else, and I didn't truly know what else to say. Before tears even fall off my eyes, I look to my left and I see this cable between two, three trees. And it's being highlighted in the spirits like there's a light around it. And as I lay my eyes on it, the word salvation echoed in my mind. And it's at the perfect distance and height for me to just grab it. As I'm grabbing it though, I feel someone else's arms get inside my arms to give me strength to hold on to it.

And I think that was the moment of my salvation. At the time, I didn't know what the word meant. I just thought it was physical salvation, but it was more than that. Eventually, the water starts receding. And I thought that it would be easier to get out of there with less water. It actually became more difficult because all those objects just consolidated. It was harder to move them. Monica, can I jump in? Do you have a sense from the time or even other reports how long this was before the water starts receding? Is this 15 minutes? Is this three hours? Any sense,

or is it just impossible to tell? I don't know. I never looked that up. I don't know and i never i never looked that up i don't know it's totally fine keep going yeah um so people start showing up and i realized that i am now in a hole of sorts and i need someone to just pull me up out of of this hole. And so I'm screaming and I'm waving my arms. And some people are so close to me, like they're so close and yet they can't hear me. They can't see me. It just felt like a horror movie or a nightmare where you're just screaming for help and no one can hear you. No one can see you. It was just, but I knew that they were in their own fear bubbles. So they just, it wasn't their fault that they couldn't. Eventually a man very far away, he does hear me. He does spot me, but he tells me to wait cause he's

going further down the beach. And then this is all just gestures. And he's he's Thailandese, so he might be speaking, but I don't know. Can I not hear him? Well, I can't even understand, but I just know what he's saying. That happened a lot. Not just with me. God really did something with things. Very, very cool.

We just understood each other, even though we didn't understand languages um so yeah he tells me because on the way back he's gonna get me but at this my instinct again is just kicking in i need to get out i need to get out i can't wait i can't wait what do i do so i grab onto this cable that i had been holding on to i grabbed it on and i just pulled myself out with this incredible strength that i had partially adrenaline yes but i think partially it was still uh supernatural because i was never the fittest person at all like in track i was out or i don't know if we would call it track i was always i was always the last like running things i was always the last or second to last and i couldn't do a pull up or anything like that so but that day i did all of it um so i get out by all my own two feet and in a few steps and he made i'm in, which I was really surprised that I was right there.

That's probably why the man told me to wait and on his way back, he didn't get me. I didn't realize how close I was to shore. And I'm just standing there and I'm taking a mental picture of everything around me when this man approaches me and he asks me my name, my family, my parents' names. And when he asks my parents' names, I struggle with an answer, not because I don't know their names. And he probably thought I was in shock, but I just didn't know what name to give him because I could tell he doesn't speak Portuguese and my parents always went by their nicknames. So I was thinking, well, if I, he won't be able to say their nicknames. If I give him the real names, my parents might not know they're the ones being, they're calling onto them. So I eventually go with the real names because I

think Maria and Jose are very common in the world he can say that even he even struggles with those names and as I tell him the names Maria and Jose Mary and Joseph I just have this like weird thought it's like wow these are Jesus's parents names of course i knew that but i just never made the connection but i do in that moment and when i do a voice says and i am jesus and i just shake it off it was such a powerful thought that i almost said it. I almost blasphemed. But I just brush it off. I think it's my brain trying to be funny to alleviate tension. So I just like, no, brush it off.

And for years after the tsunami, this just haunted me. Why would I think that? But he was not done. eventually like fast forwarding a little bit I make it to the mountains it's where this man was telling me to go and other people on the way um I make it up the mountains because that's what you're supposed to do you're supposed to go to high ground and there was a danger of another wave, like another wave was coming. That's why the water was receding because there was more coming. So I am up this mountain. I go as high as I possibly can go in my exhausted state.

And when I finally settled down, right below me, I witnessed a father and daughter reunite. They find each other. And it was just so beautiful. And just to witness that kind of love, I wanted to live for true love. And there it was. The father, his back was completely bloody, all scratched up from top to bottom. She seemed like she was okay. But witnessing this love, of course I knew my parents loved me but this was different because for the first time i felt it inside me too um it was the love i felt for them as well is completely selfless and never once did i think what about my father where's my father i wish it was me there was just there was no self at all all that matter

was this father and daughter they were like the center of the universe in that moment it was just so important that they remained together and i thought of myself you know all the pain i went through everything it was all worth it to witness this moment i would go through it again and even more and then i thought i would take upon myself all the pain and suffering of the whole world if that's what it took for this father and daughter to be together and then he hit me someone already did that jesus did that it wasn't just for one father and daughter it was for all of us. And then the feeling of that love inside me for the first time. It's what truly changed me. Like I said, I knew my parents loved me, but I always felt like I was looking from the outside in.

The best way to describe it is I felt like I was in this glass cube in a beautiful garden. And I could see the garden. I was in the garden, but I was just in this cube and I couldn't fully experience it. I couldn't touch it, smell it, and feel the breeze. But then this moment, this father and daughter, it's like the glass just shattered. And I felt everything. And I would have given my life for them.

And now of course, I see how this father and daughter, the representation of God, the father, me, and then the sacrifice that Jesus made so that we can return to the father. We can be reunited with him. Yeah, that's the true love I want. Monica, this is amazing. I got it.

So you've talked about this, this thought of fear and how fear when you're screaming takes the breath away so you can't stay to the surface as much. You've talked about seeing this father and his daughter reunite and you see this act of love that just captured you. Are you thinking these things in the moment or Or was it looking back, you're like, oh, wait a minute, this happened, and then your worldview formed? Or like at a 13-year-old, are you literally thinking these things

through the experience itself? Yes. That was the gospel. That's how God explained it to me. And of course, that made me curious years later. And Portugal is very catholic so i tried church a few times and just i just personally never felt it there until 13 13 years after the tsunami in a small town in texas um i go to this church because my husband wants me to meet the pastor. He wants our wedding. And this man is just, he, when I met him, I just saw so much light around him. He was

probably praying before service. There was just so much light and joy, the joy of the Lord. Like he was truly the happiest man on earth. And that just made me listen. And it made me keep going to church. And finally started listening to the word of God and seeing how strange that these texts that had been written 2,000 years ago, 3,000 years ago, how it was all matching my experience. And that couldn't be a coincidence. written 2,000 years ago, 3,000 years ago, how you're all matching my experience. And that couldn't be a coincidence. And so I started listening for the first time

and reading and taking this Christianity seriously. So let's go back to some piece of your story. You described certain things that I wanna know if you think they are in your mind, like subjective or objective in the world. So you talked about a voice hearing things, talked about an angel potentially seeing things. You talked about arms potentially feeling things, giving you a certain level of strength. Do you think these were outside of your mind? And by asking if're internal i'm not saying they're not real that's not my point i'm saying you think god was speaking to you like internally or do you think they're like angels objectively there and others would have heard that voice what's your best sense of that if you can

even tell yeah it was all in my mind i mean i was underwater and there was no one there it was all in my mind okay yeah okay that's fair that makes sense um all right which is why i thought maybe i imagined a lot of it yeah so thanks for entering into the story again i can tell you i'm talking about it brings back memories and affects you emotionally every time. I also realize because you went through this and became a Christian, it doesn't make you like a theological or apologetics expert. That's not my point. But I'm sure you've had thoughts on a lot of the questions I want to ask you. So I just want your reflection upon this. So a ton of lives.

So how do you make sense of that question? Well, I can't speak to other people's suffering. I can only speak to mine and my experience. And I relate to Romans 5.5 so much. And recently, and this is only recently that God even made me realize, I guess, because I had read the story before of one of the blind men that Jesus heals. And the disciples ask him if he or his parents had sinned because he was blind. And Jesus tells him, no, no one sinned.

This is just so the glory of God may be shown. I'm paraphrasing. Sorry. Because I would ask myself why this had to happen, why like like because his god almighty couldn't he just taught me the same lessons uh without taking my parents away from me. Um why did it have to be like this? It just and and that's a little like joke in that aspect. Um I don't know why things happen the way they do.

That's one of the mysteries of God that perhaps we'll never know. But in my experience with my suffering personally, and I can't even speak for my family, just personally, I do believe that it was all to, the end um bring glory to god because now here i am speaking about how god saved me how jesus is real because i wasn't raised with jesus i he was just the last thing in my mind and it never made sense to me that he would come for me it just didn't make sense and um the little that I knew of Jesus it was nothing like this he wasn't God he he wasn't so personal um even even God wasn't so personal was

impersonal God it just nothing made sense he didn't fit into my previous beliefs how I I was raised. So it didn't make sense that I would imagine and how can I imagine something that I don't know. And then it's matching these texts that were written thousands of years ago. And yeah, so my, yeah, it's, it's, it's all to bring him glory. And I do know that in the end, it will all be worth it. Because I did have a glimpse of that where I see this father and daughter and all the things I went through, it was just so worth it.

It wasn't even for me, it was for someone else. It was just so worth it. And how much more when we do get to heaven. So for me, my suffering is, that's the reason. That's fair. Yeah. What would you say to somebody who, you know, obviously, or presumably didn't survive a tsunami like you did, but maybe lost family members to cancer, maybe in a fire, some other either suffering or pain or hurt. I'm sure you get asked this question all the time. What do you say to somebody else? Because this is the first time we've talked, you seem to have still just a joy in your life and not anger at God. You've been able to move on, although the pain of this is still obviously present in your life. What encouragement or words would you share to

somebody watching this who obviously couldn't say, well, it's easy for you to say because you went through about as traumatic of an experience as somebody can, and yet people are hurting and they're broken and just saying, why God? So maybe just personalize it to the person who's watching this. Yeah. I mean, even after the tsunami, my life wasn't easy and I was down a lot. I even questioned my choice to live that maybe I should have just went home. But right now I live a life I mean, I have my children. And I didn't know this then. But

even in Deuteronomy, Moses, we have the verse that says, and I've given you blessing and cursing life and death. So choose life that you and your descendants may live and i didn't know i was supposed to choose life but i did choose because of this idea of finding true love and eventually having children so somehow the the law the of god was already written in my heart and it's really hard going through suffering um even when you believe that there's a higher reason, that there's a purpose. Even when you do want to use it for the glory of God, it's still difficult. And I don't know how people go through it without God.

I don't think you can get through it without God, without something to just pull you up constantly. Every time you fall to your knees and you go down, you just don't want to live anymore. I don't know how you keep choosing life without God. So what I would say with people going through their own suffering is just keep choosing life and keep surrendering to God, keep leaning on him. You can't do this without him. So talking about angels and, you know, supernatural beings giving you strength, I'm sure it went through your mind that if you share your story, a lot of people are going to think you're crazy. And I know this is totally different, but I've done a lot of shows on my channel on near-death experiences.

And there's a whole lot of people who have really dramatic experiences and they're hesitant to tell others about it. And many really supernatural. And same with demonic type experiences that people have they think i'm crazy i'm sure that went through your mind so why have you chose to talk about your story and how do you address those kind of thoughts i did think i hallucinated or imagined it. And then part of it was that my story was being told by other people and they were missing a lot of the details and it just felt wrong. It just felt like I need to tell it the right way, but I also need to tell the truth, the whole truth, nothing but the truth,

because otherwise it doesn't feel right. It just didn't feel right. I even wrote a first draft of the book where I took God out because I was advised not to talk about that, just to keep it to myself. But it just felt so wrong. I just felt like lying, felt like I was lying. and then a second part to this is realizing that a lot of my story had all already been written in the Bible in that was my evidence that it's true because I just how come that texts again were written thousands of years ago are describing what I felt too. And I always described this, the tsunami before I was Christian, before I had this understanding,

I always described it as a second life in one because it felt like a new life. It felt like I felt like a new person, like the girl that came out of the waters wasn't the same. I was same yet yet I wasn't. It just always felt like a second life, like I had been born again. And so this is, and the reason why I can tell my story is because despite all the tragedy, I do see God.

I felt him. It was where I met him. And so there's also that side that's just so strong, you know, and love overcomes all the pain and tragedy in the end. And so I just felt, I just really felt compelled to tell it. Even in the mountains of Kauak, I do have this moment where just God asks me to share my story. So that's where the idea of the book came. And I did have some things written. But again, it was just so filled with doubt in the beginning. It took me almost 20 years to finally get it out. You mentioned earlier about how the water rising is different than some of the

waves and the way that it's portrayed in movies. So I think the movie is called impossible with Ewan McGregor that tells the story. My wife and I watched that probably, it was actually shortly before you contacted me, like literally days before I told my wife, I'm like, this is really interesting. We just watched this. We're talking about it. And, you know, tsunami survivor reached out.

I'm curious if you've seen it or if it's true to traumatic. And what else does that movie or others you think get wrong? So from your experience, that movie is probably the only movie that's very accurate. The Wave is very accurate and it's because Maria Bellon, the real person, she was behind the scenes

explaining them because she really wanted to get the Wave right because all these other movies don't. And yeah, it's their story of the melon family. Yeah. It's really accurate. And I do recommend people watch it. I was very lucky that I didn't have any injuries. Oh, that's another thing I've got mentioned my no

injuries, not even a scratch. Amazing. Yeah, as as God, when I realized that I just wanted to burst out laughing like just pure euphoria like no one's gonna believe me yeah it's I mean and that alone I mean if you don't believe in God like yeah it's it's impossible to survive this because I was at the beach and yet i have no scratch on me um so yeah the impossible i did watch it um i cried a lot of course oh my goodness i did too and i obviously wasn't even there it was powerful i I never saw the hospitals, but my uncle, who did go to hospitals afterwards, he said that part was very accurate as well. So, yeah.

Have you gone back to Thailand or anywhere near since? I have been back to Khao Lak, where I was, 10 years after the tsunami for the 10th anniversary. And I got to go back to the same beach and even the same resort. I didn't stay there, but I got to visit it. And I just was overwhelmed by the peace that I felt in the place.

I didn't know what I was gonna feel, but I actually felt peace. And I felt like stepping back into the resort, those steps in the front that were still there, because a lot of it changed, but those steps were still the same. I just felt the strength and determination of that 13 year old girl when she did return.

Because I did return to the resort later that day. And that's where I stayed because it was far enough from the beach. So it was safe. And I just felt all the strength and determination again, which I did need it. Because my life after the tsunami wasn't necessarily easy. And so I needed a little bit of that and I got it. And yes, going back to the beginning. So you went back on your 10th anniversary. Presumably you're not the only survivor who did that. Have you connected with other survivors? Are there support groups in person or online? And have you heard other stories

similar to yours of kind of supernatural encounters? No, no. I know the Belong story because of the movie. And I did reconnect with a person that helped me during, after the tsunami, during the time that I stayed in our resort. She stayed with me and she would go to hospitals looking for people. So, yeah. So I did, I did reconnect with her, but I don't know anyone else. Help me understand that. I feel like, and maybe I'm just completely ignorant, that if I had gone through that, I'd want to connect with others, hear their experience, talk.

And there are certain people that have had life experiences that as much as I can try to understand and watch that movie and listen to you, I don't get it. I haven't been there. I'm just doing my best. I would think that I would want to hear that. What am I missing and why haven't you reached out to connect more? Is it just you're not interested and you've moved on and want to tell your story? I don't know. I never even thought about finding others. I don't know why. I just don't know why.

I don't know. It would be interesting to know if they also find cross or not. That would be interesting. I would love to hear that. If you connect with others and there's some kind of group, send me a note. Yeah. Maybe after this, send me a note. Yeah. Would be, I'd love. Maybe after this, they will, they'll find me. As much as you're comfortable, you can just pass on this if you don't want to, but your brother wasn't there, obviously saved. How has he processed a lot of this

and you sharing your story publicly? I actually don't know. He is not saved. He does not believe in Christ. I'm hoping to plant some seeds. But I really don't know. That's fine. I won't push anymore.

I understand family dynamics. It's something that brings him a great deal of pain. Sure. So we kind of avoid him a great deal of pain. Sure. So we kind of avoid it. Maybe we shouldn't. Well, I won't even weigh in on that. That's not my job. I'm not a counselor.

But tell us what you're doing now. Well, I'm just a mom. There is no just a mom just for the record but you know i got to a third on the way and uh yeah that my life is just being a mom you know and now i have a book and i go out and share my story uh whenever possible i i told god as long as i can go i'll go and that's all like my focus is just being a mother and raising my children that's priority number one everything else just falls um around that so well so last question i have a policy who asked me to endorse books i just won't do it unless i read the whole book. And on my channel, I try to really give people honest feedback, what I think about books.

I mentioned when we were warming up because of just some family dynamics and things are completely fine. I was not able to read your book. So I apologize for that. I really heard some of your interviews online. I really want to unpack your story. But maybe just tell us a little bit about it. It looks like it's your memoir telling your story. But maybe just tell us a little bit about that and what you hope to

accomplish with it. So the book starts with the tsunami and a lot of that part I wrote like when I was still 15, 16, like fresh because I, I didn't want to forget the details. And already I was having a hard time remembering something some little details because the days kind of went together and then um i go a little bit into my past growing up in angola and macau and china how my parents were and and then um a college like the life after the tsunami and the struggles that I faced with that and going to college, finding my true love, my husband, because that's also a good story. It was very unlikely that we would meet. God was in it. And finally, just finding my faith. I was coming out

of the new age in the beginning. And as you read, you probably notice I was a little lukewarm because you're just going through the process of learning more and more and more. And I kind of finished with that. I'm still learning. I'm still in the process of learning because I don't think it ever ends. But one thing I know is that Jesus is real and he saves even today. That's it.

Well, amen to that. You've given us a gift today by just sharing your story and opening up. I can tell 20 years later that you are, you can still tap into some of those emotions and some of those images feel like yesterday to you. And so revisiting it, I can only imagine how difficult and challenging that is. So thanks for giving me the gift of entering your story and sharing your experience.

The book is called Surviving a Tsunami at 13. I'll link to it below people can check it out but uh if you ever think you know what i want to do some formal education theologically or apologetically come study with us at talbot at biola we actually have engineers doctors flight attendants people in the military we have a number of stay-at-home moms who are busy, obviously, doing really important work, but are like, I'm just going to do a class now and then to get some formal training. So that's my plug for those of you watching. We'd love to have you come on and learn how to do it. My husband's actually looking into it. Yeah. Oh, no way.

I did not know that. Well, have him shoot me an email and I'd be happy to talk with him about it. That'd be wonderful to have him come. That would be exciting. Well, I can't thank you enough for coming on. Those of you watching, make sure you hit subscribe and share this with somebody. It's been, I can't believe it's been 20 years. as diametrically opposed to yours. But I remember that day well, and I remember conversations I had in the classroom with my high school students specifically. I said, here's this tsunami that happened, Indonesia and Thailand, and even small islands like Maldives were affected by this. How could God allow this to happen? And I remember specifically some of the things

that my students said in response. And so this is a big natural question that people ask. Monica, I can't thank you enough for coming on. And we'll do it again down the road. And I hope your husband joins us in the program and maybe someday. All right. Thank you. Thank you for the opportunity to share my testimony here.