The Shane Dawson Podcast - Addressing The Rumors... and Popular Conspiracy Theories! ICE SPICE and BARBIE!
Episode Date: November 1, 2023In this episode the Kens bust out of Barbieland and takeover the couch! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
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This is from Ivy.
She sent us an email, and the subject of the email was, sorry, Ryland.
My girlfriend and her cousin seemed to think that my shirt is another dress situation.
No.
I blacked out with rage.
Can you explain one more time?
Hi, Ken.
Hi, Ken.
Hi, Ken.
What up?
We are doing the Barbie episode, which was supposed to.
supposed to be the Halloween episode, but all the costumes came late. So now it's the early
Thanksgiving episode. And I'm thankful for seeing Jared in this. Oh, yeah. Just live in the
American dream. Oh, my God. Wow. I'm not sure that you've ever looked better on this podcast.
I've been looking for a new look for like 30 years now. I think I could settle, I could evolve into
this. This could be something I'm comfortable going out in public in. Right. And
Also, you can't wear this and be lazy.
No.
Like, this isn't just sit in the couch type shade.
This is some hustling type, you know, outfit tree.
Taking over the world.
Yeah, I like it.
It's motivating.
Yeah, what would you say Chris's look is?
Ooh.
Like a waiter at a fun, slushy, slash a, God, yes.
Like in a Kaibol.
He looks like he's starring in Good Burger, too.
I feel like I'm the guy who, like, rollerblades the food out to you at, like.
What is it?
Like, Sonic.
But in the 80s.
Yeah.
Wait, what am I?
For some reason, this, like, fits weirdly.
Like, you look good.
Like, somehow you make this look good.
Wow, okay, that feels really good,
except for I wish it was coming from someone else.
Oh, please.
Oh, because I'm Barbie, not because I'm your husband.
Well, that's true.
I know, it's just my world, and you're all living in it.
Sorry, I've gone, like, nuts, so, because I'm breathing.
I'm, like, breathe.
Okay, we're going to talk.
There has definitely been a leak in Barbie's dream house.
Wow.
There's a literal gasoline.
that started right before we started filming the show and the guy is on his way so at some point
we're going to have to take a break he said it's safe that we're sitting in here breathing this he
was throwing out a it's not going to kill you vibe you know i don't know if he was like yeah it's
fine for you but it's like that's not saying the things that i'm feeling because i know i'm a
hypochondriac and i know i'm just making myself feel things i'm like i'm burning and sweating
and i'm about to pass that but that's for sure all in my head i'm dizzy is that dizziness you
it could be fun you google
the symptoms of breathing in too much gas.
You guys are pretty much on par with what it was talking about.
No, stop it.
But, but, okay, but here's the thing.
This might, we just might be in a lower stage of exposure right now.
There's certain things I'm really looking for to know if we're in a bad spot.
Okay.
If you guys do a few different types of things and I see it, we got, we got to leave.
I mean, I feel like it's already altering my speech.
That's not one of, I'm not worried about that.
I'm not worried about that.
That's just you.
That's just you're not worried about that at all.
That's just a nice way.
I'm a little worried about that.
The one I'm most concerned about is vomiting.
Oh.
I'm serious, though.
Can you, if you take a deep breath, it's all I can smell.
Well, that also might be the gas leak,
but there's also a segment later involving some questionable foods,
and I think it's that.
You're going to make us eat questionable foods on top of what's going to already happen today?
Right.
So I wanted to do something kind of fun.
Now I'm getting blurry vision.
I'm just reading into it.
I'm bucked.
You're good. I'm not concerned about that.
Okay, thank you.
I don't know what made Jared a doctor all of a sudden,
but I don't know that I'm trusting it the way you're looking in this moment.
Don't worry.
I Google it did.
This is literally what I assume the better help doctors look like.
I've gone through this in the Mojo Dojo.
Mojo Dojo Casa House.
Okay, what was I going to say?
Oh, right, giveaway.
Okay, so I had no.
What?
A giveaway?
Yeah.
Hi, Barbie.
Not for you, though.
Okay, so I'm so excited
I wanted to think of a giveaway
Because I was like, I've never done
I don't think we've ever done a giveaway
Are you allowed to do a giveaway?
Well, we're not gonna do it on YouTube
We're doing it on Instagram
Because I don't know the rules
So here's my thought
I was like what should I give away
What would be fun?
And I was like, oh I should give away
Like a pair of these headphones
We could all sign them
But then I'm like nobody wants these shitty
I said
I'm just kidding
I don't know who makes these
We love them
So I have here
A pair of white
AirPod Mac
Rich
He's got money
But then I'm like, well, we're not going to sign the actual headphones because, like, you guys don't want that forever.
No, they don't want to be on a plane with, like, signatures from us.
Yeah, a little too much.
So then I got these silicone covers that you can put on the headphones, so I thought we could sign those.
Nice.
So I'm going to throw a Sharpie and a cover, and we're just going to sign something.
And how do they win this?
Oh, so all you have to do is go to the Shane Dawson podcast, Instagram, and there'll be a picture there involving these.
And just give it a like and give it a comment saying your favorite.
part of the show or no your favorite i don't know your favorite episode oh and follow the
instagram uh yeah your favorite shit fuck i don't have to do a giveaway just say something nice
yeah maybe like your best ken pun oh that's a good idea okay i kind of took up a lot of the ear
wow i guess you deserve that whole thing the three of us will have the other ear yeah
that's kind of degrading no it's called the shade dossom podcast fit the fuck
Here everybody's ear.
Listen, I mean, that's the precedent you sent
taking up the whole ear lobe.
You're acting like Barbie.
Ken is kind of Barbie.
Ken stole the movie.
Ken wants to be Barbie.
Which is ironic because that movie was all about Barbie and women and Barbie.
But then the only thing people talked about that movie was Ken.
And he annoyed the shit out of me.
And I like Ryan Gosling, but everyone's like, Ken,
Ken, kid, Ken, give Ken a spin-off.
I was like, Ken was fucking annoying.
Okay, you're really channeling Barbie right now?
And it's scary.
I just feel like Margo Robbie does.
did not get enough credit for the movie.
This is a really bad segue
because we're talking about Marco Robbie
and women and women's rights
and now we're going right
into something that is disgusting.
Arguably the second best way to segue.
Thank you.
The undershoot, the worst way.
That was solid, dude.
So I was watching this show
and something happened that caught my attention.
So there was a show about high school
and there was a girl, and she was known in the high school
for giving a guy a Blunkin.
A what?
A blow job while he was taking a shit.
How do you know that?
I know what the one? A blumpkin.
That's just, I've known about that since I was young and I don't know how.
I think it was one of the first things I learned that was like weird as far as a sexual act.
Have you been requesting blump?
What is it?
It's when a girl gives you head while you're sitting on the toilet taking a shit.
So you're sitting up, we're going to try it later.
You're sitting on the toilet.
For me.
No.
Me.
Absolutely not.
With those smells.
Smelling you different going to go.
I've never wanted to be here last.
I'm sitting on the toilet, right?
Legs are spray.
Oh, my.
the scents fly forward you sick it's more of a waft it's waft i'm plopping it in the toilet right
right as i plop i blush in your mouth oh oh say same same thing oh that's a new that's new i didn't know
it was about the release yeah double release mechanism whoa that's a sensation we might need do people
actually do blumpkins i always assumed it was like a joke thing i mean no apparently we're not
sexually adventurous based on what the people who called this show well i googled it and it's very much a thing
Blumpkins are
No way
I've I yeah
Blumpkins are real
I sound very sexually shameful
Whatever float your boat your boat
Yeah the bumpkin community is coming for you
I think your nickel's coming out
Oh my gosh
You're welcome
Oh shit
Yeah
Um okay so then it got me thinking
We all have these stories from our high schools
Where it's like oh the kid that was known for this
Or the kid that was known for that
Most likely it was all rumors
And it wasn't even real
See you just got one
And then I was like this is a good conversation starter
Because we all had that kid
So Chris you go first
Whoa you just triggered a memory
Yeah, there was a girl at my school
And she was so nice
And I don't know
Actually, I don't know if it's true or not
But she was known around school
For taking a hot dog
That like was defrosting
While there were people at her place
And like putting it in her vagina
And like people called her hot dog girl
That's the kind of sausage party
I'm trying to get to
Is there something nice about a frozen thing in your vagina?
I don't know
I mean she was
Letting it defrost up there
And people were so mean to her.
And, like, I think you've got to try to spin those things when you're in it.
Well, imagine that wasn't true at all.
Just own it.
You know, like, if you're that girl, you're like, you guys don't stick frozen hot dogs if you're pussy.
Oh, turn into a trend.
Yeah.
And it's like, if you rock it confidently, then every other girl's like, maybe she's on something I'm not.
And her being, her being like, it's in right now.
And then the guys are like, yeah.
Then she could also just brag and be like, yeah, that's why guys want to date me, you fucking losers.
I'm getting hard.
As a sweet man, I can't say it would turn me on
If a girl is all like, yeah, sometimes I stick a half frozen sausage
It's not about that
It's about how she spins it to gain popularity instead of shame
Hot dogs are like easily breakable though
Isn't she worried?
It's frozen baby
Another thing I assumed was just like a joke
I assumed no one really was doing it
Right
But I don't know
Okay, so that was something from your high school
Wow, Jared
That is wild
That something like that starts
Oh man, I don't know
know if I was even cool enough to know about anything like that.
I'm not cool enough.
You know, it was really just about people being loose.
You know what I mean?
It wasn't like anything necessarily I could remember about a person, but I don't really
remember any rumors about people in particular.
We had a lot.
Okay, so I had three different people that I'm thinking of.
The first, and these are different categories, really, because I feel like there's a lot
of these in different high schools.
The first category was the girl that fucks the teachers.
So it's like, oh, she's fucking the teachers.
And my friend, kind of was.
Oh my God.
And then he gave her something.
What?
Hopefully at least to A.
Oh, no.
Oh my gosh.
A passing grade minimum.
That was like a really good.
That was good, Ken.
Oh, keep it up.
Second person was the girl who stank.
She was the smelly girl.
I mean, that wouldn't be a rumor.
You would smell her.
Well, the rumor was, oh, she fucking uses tuna's deodorant.
She fucking never showers.
I think she honestly.
just had like a disease or something because like she really stank and i was her like only friend
did nobody tell her why didn't you just be like hey girl finally somebody told her and it was this
literally this is the saddest thing ever this is a traumatic for her i hope she's not watching so we were
sitting in class and our teacher walked over and whispered in her ear she looks like sad she gets up
and goes to the office they made her shower at school because i guess her parents weren't making her
shower the teacher stank really bad it was devastating i like cried i cried because i was like kind of
friends with the teacher and she was like giving me the tea and I was just like girl what
I was that's so weird that you were like I was one fucking with teachers thanks no every
during lunch I would go in I was that kid like the sad fat kid and I would go into the teacher's
class and we would just like kicky let's have a cheat and I still hanging out with my teacher
I know she's been to the house I love her okay the third person the third kid was the kid
who throws up all the time that's not a rumor he just did it like on command whoa on
oh yeah I got one what I got one uh I
knew a kid, and maybe I've talked about
this before, actually, but he could
suck air in his butt and farted
out on command. Yes.
What?
Wouldn't his butt need to be exposed?
How? Or he's like Jim Schultz?
No, I just, I walked into the room
and they were doing it.
It was three of us having to sleep over at his
house, and he was just on
all fours, and you can
hear it, though.
It's just blowing
out furious gas. Sorry about being
loose.
That guy was gay.
Is he gay now?
No, it didn't stink.
It didn't have any like substance to it.
Because it's so quick in and out.
And no leftover.
Is he gay?
It was an interesting situation to be around, you know?
Right.
How is that possible?
It is.
I've seen videos of it.
There's like a website of girls who do that.
They suck up air in their ass and then they fart it out and they go,
ooh, that was a sharp one.
And because it's educational, is it allowed on you?
You too?
Yes.
Dude, do you remember cake farts?
Yes.
Know what I like the most?
No.
I'm about to fart on this cake.
Cake farts.
What?
She sits on the cake and then she lifts her asshole open.
What?
That was when the internet was good.
Cake farts was so ahead of its time, dad.
Revolutionary.
Two girls one cup, shit, so that cake walks.
Oh, my.
So that cake farts.
I think the gas is getting to me.
Yeah.
Do you have a cake?
Are you going to do it?
Are you going to fart on that cake?
I was just thinking about it.
Okay, we'll do that later.
We'll do it when the gas guy comes.
We'll do it when we do our blumpkins.
You'll be like, can you smell this gas?
Mr. Gasman.
Um, okay.
I want the, sorry, side-knit.
I want the gas man to have to come in here.
Can you imagine if we interview him?
I want him to have to see us and be like, this is what's happening.
He'll probably think he's hallucinating.
What the fuck is this?
He'll be like, this is what you guys do for a living?
Okay, did you have a kid in school?
Probably, but you know my memory.
I can't remember the TV show I watched last week, and this gas isn't helping.
Okay, right.
Let me think about it.
Okay, you think about it.
Okay.
All right, well, we're going to take a quick little break.
I need to go Blumpkin.
I'm not to run away.
Hey, sorry to interrupt the show, but oh my God, okay, I have something to tell you guys.
Please do not leave.
I promise you're not going to want to miss this because we have a brand new sponsor that has changed my life.
And it's something I've actually been looking for for 25 years.
It's skinny pasta.
And for the entire bag of this pasta, well, they also have spaghetti, they have fettuccini, they have rice.
For this entire bag, nine calories.
Nine calories and zero net carbs.
Why did I do that?
Okay, let me explain.
First of all, they reached out to me and they were like, hey, do you want to work with us?
We'll send you some product.
And I was like, sure, let me look into this.
And I'm like, nine calorie pasta.
Like, what?
Is that possible?
So to me, this was very, like, fake.
I was like, there's no way, it's not going to be good, but let me try it anyways.
And I didn't even wait for them to send it to me because I wanted to try it so bad,
and I bought some of my own.
And the next day, I open it up, I heated it all up.
I put it with my like stir fry that I post-made it.
And it was so good.
It has the same texture as pasta.
It soaks up the sauce really nice.
Like anything you put on it, it will taste like.
And it's nine calories for the whole pack.
I think four and a half calories for one serving.
I know that people don't like to talk about calories, and I get it.
I've struggled with my weight forever.
I know it could be triggering.
But I've been on a health journey lately for the last 30 years.
But especially the last year, I've been really trying to eat clean and trying to eat less sugar, less carbs.
So this came at the perfect time.
I literally have already gone through four bags of this in a week.
I love it.
I'm not just saying that.
I love it.
Please give it a try.
Okay, so let me actually look at what they want me to tell you guys about because all of that was just my feelings.
Okay, the ingredients.
It has five all natural ingredients, plant-based, non-GMO, gluten-free ingredients.
It was designed to mirror the feeling and taste of pasta without all the carbs.
You empty out this bag and it fills up a plate.
Like it makes a pile of pasta.
Like you're in a fucking cartoon.
And then I've just been putting some like low calorie marinera,
just like tomato sauce type of stuff on top of that.
And then I eat the entire plate of pasta.
And there's more calories in like one of my water talks.
So it's crazy.
Yes.
So thank you It Skinny for reaching out for wanting to work with me.
I love you so much.
You have saved my dinners.
And I think you guys will really like it too.
So let me tell you the deal.
So all you have to do is go to ItSkinny.com and use promo code Shane.
25 and you'll save 25% off of your first purchase.
That's it's skinny.com,
I-T-S-S-K-I-N-N-Y.com with promo code Shane 25 to save 25% off of your first purchase.
Okay, I'm so excited.
We have some of the best viewer submissions we've ever gotten.
And we have a new segment.
Oh, there's so much happening.
Okay, let me start here.
So we got an email.
By the way, if you want to send us an email or conspiracy or anything, send it to
Shane Dawson Podcast stuff at gmail.com.
Okay.
So the subject of this was husband,
confessed he was a grower in our wedding vows.
Wow.
Had they not had sex?
Okay.
We'll get there because I have a question.
Okay, so this is from Britt and Josh and they said, hey, guys, we got married on September 23rd, and my husband mentioned in our wedding vows that he was a grower.
We love watching the podcast together, and here's a picture of them getting married.
Oh, my gosh.
So I have a question.
Me too.
I have a few.
So does she mean he announced it to like his family and friends?
Or did she not know yet?
Like, were they saving themselves?
I have a lot of questions for Britney.
Also, okay, say for example that me and you were going to wait until we got married for you to see my grower.
If you saw my grower on our wedding night or, like, what would you do?
But I guess the thing would be is like if you're already hard, I wouldn't know that you're a grower.
I'd have to see you soft.
So you'd have to be like changing or walking around the bedroom naked.
Which I never would.
I still don't.
So maybe that's why?
Interesting.
Maybe she hasn't seen him not.
Because like if you're already kissing and things are going that way, he's already grown.
Grown.
Let us know.
Actually,
don't.
Maybe we don't need to know all the details.
But either way,
we love it,
Britt and Josh.
And we're so happy that you guys found each other.
Grower and Farmers for Life.
Yes.
Okay.
This is from Zoe.
She said,
Hey, Shane.
I've been a supporter for eight years now.
Oh, my God.
Eight years.
So that was what?
Before me.
2015?
I was already old and burned out by then.
Girl, you started watching late.
I shouldn't start watching 2010.
But she wanted to show us that she has her own conspiracy corner in her room.
Look at all the conspiracy merch she has.
Wow.
She's also so cute.
I love her hair.
We love you.
Thank you, Zoe.
That's the sweetest thing in the whole world.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
Oh, I love this.
This is for Misty.
She said, hey, guys, my name is Misty.
I wore this at work today, and everybody loved it.
And she's wearing a sorry you guys don't out shirt.
But she clearly works it.
like an airport or something like she does something serious yeah she's wearing a pretty important vest
that's iconic yeah yeah wow yeah i love that icon i like it oh i thought this was fun this is from marley
she said that she has our number one bearded dragon fan oh this is going to spark a lot of
controversy in the bearded dragon what you mean i know we're starting some drama i know where
Okay.
So this is her beard and dragon
named Spyro.
And here's a picture
of the bearded dragon
watching Chris.
Oh, Spyro's so cute.
And watching just
different pictures of the podcast.
Oh, my gosh.
Are those in his tank?
Is that a tattoo?
Yeah, that is in his tank.
Oh my gosh.
Wow.
Is he being trained on a
kill of us?
You're going to hunt us down?
These are the people.
Shout out Spiro.
Don't they live for like 500 years or something?
That is so nice that she
Give Spiro pictures to look at.
Don't they?
They live for like a hundred.
They outlive their owners.
Maybe 20 years.
I don't know.
That's a Googlable thing.
I would say, how long?
Jared was spot off.
What?
20 years.
They can live up to 20, but 10 to 15 those comments.
Okay, well, Spyro, we're going to have to meet you before.
Before he died.
He's like, he's only one.
Listen, we have 15 years to meet Spira.
We're going to meet him.
Okay, good.
Okay, this I'm really excited about.
This is literally life-changing, if this works.
So this is from Alex.
She said, hey, shame.
Or wait, my name is Emily.
Hold on.
What?
Okay, I don't know.
Alex or Emily, it's one of the two.
Said that they saw an ad that they thought of me for,
and it's for people who struggle with misophonia.
This is huge.
There's a misophonia community.
I'm in it.
So misophony, if you don't already know,
is the annoyance of sound.
You want to die.
You want to fucking rip all your fucking face.
And you're scared to have children one day because you're like, what if they're chewing and annoys me?
And then I'm going to be that guy.
So that's not happening today because Alex slash Emily sent me a link to something called calmer earplugs for misophonia.
Now, for misophonial.
I know.
So supposedly it blocks out the little noises, but you can still hear like talking.
So I had them.
I bought them.
And we have a few crunchy items that we're going to try out.
And I'm going to put these in and I'm going to see if they work.
This will be a game changer.
Wow.
I didn't. So I was like opening baby things today that I had ordered and that was inside of them and I was like, what are these for my babies?
Well, they are kind of for our babies because hopefully I can wear them with our babies.
Oh, thank God.
I really hope these chips will make us forget about the gas.
Oh my God, they're kettle.
You don't like cattle.
No, they're the choosest.
I love these chips.
Carrots.
I get the fucking carrots.
Are you kidding me?
The baby carrots are really triggering for me.
The snap.
Oh!
Now this literally
This is why Barbie needs to rule the world
Barbie's been given carrots when the boys get chips
Fuck you can
Fuck you
Barbie I wasn't planning that
Barbie might also want chips
Okay don't eat them until I have my plugs in
Please okay
So this is actually a big deal
Because these
This disease
Which is what I'm calling it
Misophonia
Fux ruins my life
Ruins happy moments in my life
Like we could be having a dinner
With the fucking president
and it can be the best night ever,
and then Kamala takes a crunch,
and I'm fucking ending that bitch.
It's put me in some sticky situations.
It's like really deep in there.
Can you hear us?
I can hear you talking.
Okay.
Do you want to hear if you can hear us chewing?
Okay, here we go.
We've been chewing for five minutes.
Does it work with a headphone?
Oh!
Okay, maybe I put them in wrong.
Hold on, hold on.
Maybe I put him in wrong.
If that's the case, you need a refund.
Oh, no, I was so happy for you.
All right, keep chewing.
Ah!
Oh, it's like worse!
Oh, it's worse.
Oh, my, what are the reviews on this?
A carrot's underrated.
I should start grabbing for a carrot.
That did not.
And here's the thing.
Like, I don't like to be a bad reviewer,
but like the people should know not to spend their money, right?
No, I agree.
I agree.
But also, I will say I saw this shirt.
I think I bought it.
And I just thought it was iconic.
It says, I came, I saw, I heard you chewing.
I love it. Did you get it?
I did.
You should have just showed up in it one morning.
Okay.
Make a better product, whoever made that.
Thank you.
Okay, now let's get into some voicemails.
If you want to call us and leave us a voicemail about anything going on in your life or if you have misophonia, tell me your story.
We'll give you the numbers right here.
All right.
Let's get into the first voicemail.
Hi, Shane.
So I peg my husband.
and I love it so much
but I love it even more
when I watch him
fuck the dildo
suction cup
to our dresser
and
I hope I'm not a cock
because I could never watch him
have sex with
like anybody else
okay
thank you so much all
bye bye
okay we first of all
we love you
iconic
oh yeah second of all
I feel like a dresser's dangerous
because it could tip over
haven't you seen the videos of the dressers
I think he's backing up into the dresser.
Like how I visioned it, it's like coming like this,
and he's just pounding that pussy back onto it.
But wouldn't the drawer be opening and closing?
I have a lot of questions about the dresser.
Maybe the side of the dresser?
I'm glad you guys are sexually liberated.
Me too.
She asked if she's a cuck.
Oh, sorry, go ahead.
Well, I was going to, no, you go ahead.
I was going to talk about the cuck aspect of it.
What do you think?
I don't know.
I was going to ask, because in my mind, I don't know really,
I guess exactly what the definition is,
but isn't a cuck like specifically another person?
Yeah, like I don't think if you watched someone
may banging themselves with a dildo, you're a cuck.
Yeah.
I think it has to involve another human being.
I think she was being playful.
Having full-blown intercourse with your significant.
By the way, and not to shame the husband, because what an icon,
but it almost, this sounds like-
Backing it up, bro.
This kind of sounds like one of the high school stories.
Can you imagine?
I knew a guy who used to, like, a dresser.
I just can't imagine if you, like, walked in on me.
me in the bedroom just like backing it up on the dresser i mean i basically do when you're like on all
fours trying to fart wait what oh that's a little different than sticking my ass into i mean no
shame but you were a judgmental barby oh see okay this is the segue because i do have a new song
we're not changing the song by the way we love our is my husband gay song let me actually
replay it's iconic just once again it kind of applies to this one is my husband gay yeah honestly
I'm kind of not sure
Okay, so that's obviously the icon
But we do have a backup submission
Because this came through on Fiverr
And I think this is the same girl
That did the Peruvian fact song
So here we go, it's just a different vibe
It's my husband gay
What you think you say
I'd love to know if you think so
Is my husband gay
You can't deny that she has a vibe
Oh, fucking vibe. And it's amazing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we love both songs
So we'll start, you know, going back and forth.
Just like your husband on the dresser.
That was good.
I was a blessing to hear.
No, that is very cool that you guys are so willing to try things out.
And I do think it's cool that you get to fuck your man.
Why not be the power top every once in a while?
All right.
Let me find one that's not sex-related because I have been getting some comments from people being like,
God, all you guys do is talk about digs and pussies and, you know, backing it up.
So let me try to find one.
Okay, here we go.
Okay.
So I'm Eva from Minnesota.
And I was wondering what your best, like, what your best fat person memory is,
or, like, your best, like, funniest thing that you've done because you're bad.
What?
Because I have mine.
And I was wondering what yours is.
Okay.
Or, like, I'll look.
First of all, Ava, call back and give us your best bad memory.
Yeah.
You can't just tease us like that.
Chris, let me explain, because Chris looks very confused.
Not one of hard from the dildos.
She's not talking about her best.
memory with a fat person but you can do that she's talking about her best memory as a fat person or a
formerly fat person so um you know like we've talked about you know my well my worst memory would be
uh getting kicked off a roller coaster for being fat but what would my best memory be oh i'm interested
to hear what you would say i know i'm like like what would the best fat memory be i think she means like
the funniest oh okay the funniest i guess i've been pretty fat in my life
and uh it's just the serious thinking it's the silence well i was we had we had uh like a little
niece or nephew at the house not too long ago like a little four five year old girl okay
and i was showing her the fish tank and i lifted up my arms to put some fish tank and she goes
i see your belly i was kind of like okay i guess that couldn't happen as i was kind of fat but oh oh
i feel like they're all going to be sad this seems bad they're all
Sad. I was going to talk about getting pants.
That's not funny.
No.
The best memory?
Okay, okay.
I got one, kind of, but not really.
Have I talked about this before?
There was a moment in, like, middle school where my guy friends would ask to grab my tities.
Oh.
Was that like a highlight for you?
With the by coming through?
That was the original question.
Yeah, maybe this is tremendous actually.
That when you realized you were by?
But, yeah, they were just, like, kind of curious.
because my big old tiddies are just always out.
So it's just like,
I'm just like, oh my God.
I mean,
this is what a boob feels like.
Maybe that's not a good memory.
Now that I think about it.
It seems probably, you know, yeah, you know.
I thought it was funny.
To each his own.
Yeah.
Well, thank you, Ava.
For bringing up these very dark, dark moments from our lives.
Chris, okay, let's make this happy.
Chris, what's your favorite fat person memory?
I have like a funny, like, kind of like very PG.
version of one of these where it's like when I was younger I was snowboarding I was trying to
learn how to snowboard and we're at like I think it's mountain high is that the close one where it's
like I don't go anywhere oh okay well I think that's closer it's not like big for one of the further
ones it's the closest one and it like it was like starting to get hot and there was not a lot of
snow left and it was like all ice so if you like fell and hit your head on that it's serious it's like
hitting cement like so I'm so excited to see where this goes so I can't wait I was like trying to
learn and I wasn't doing a good job and I went way too fast and I didn't know how to stop and
It just became all ice.
And I was like, if I fall right now, I'm dead.
I'm going so fast.
And I, like, something hit my board, and I got stuck, and I flew forward.
And I was like, I'm dead.
I don't have a helmet on.
I'm going to hit my head.
I'm dead.
And I swear to you, this big dude fell down in front of me.
And I, like, landed so softly in cushion, like, on him.
And then I, like, saved my life from breaking my head open.
And then I got up and I was like, I'm so sorry.
And the guy was like, nah, bro, it's all good.
He, like, patted his belly.
And then, like, we laughed and we, like, talk for the next time.
minutes seems like this is going to be traumatic for him I think we talked how old were you I was like pretty I was like middle school or something dude I actually think that we just found the catalyst for why Chris is into big guys oh they saved his life because one saved your life and you forever will look at them as like your rock you know or their his cushion that guy changed your whole course of your life dude it's an important fat moment but maybe that is where it came from I think it is
That's sweet.
Okay, I love that.
Thank you so much, Ava, for bringing up trauma and also, you know, figuring out the past.
This segment, always something.
It always is.
Okay, this is something fun that I wanted to try.
I want to also do this on our audio-only podcast.
But this is Fights with Shane and Ryland.
So here's what I did.
I asked you guys to send me some voicemails of your fights with your significant other,
and we, but also you guys, are going to referee it and decide whose side we're on.
this fight. I love this. Okay. This always helps a fight. I know. An outside opinion. Oh, yeah, that's the
best. Here we go. Hey, hey, hey, hey, everybody. Um, so me and my boyfriend had a fight last week
because he was going to a store and I was like, you know what? I'll stay home because I want to
take him out. You know, and he was like, do you want anything from the store? And I was like,
no, you know, that's just something you say, expecting something back. And he didn't bring me
anything back. I'm mad. I cried. And on top of all of that, he didn't go back to the store and
get me anything. Girl, he should have opened that Postmates app. Am I in the wrong? Okay, first of all,
wow, I get it. That I get it. You're in the wrong, but I am you. So, like, I'm not opposed to, like,
asking for something later that I never asked for before. And sometimes it's just to cry for attention.
it your love. Here's the thing. He is
slightly in the wrong because by now he
should know because what we do, when I
order something like food or something or drink
and if you're like, I don't want anything, I always
get you something. Always. I know exactly what to get you and then I get you in. When it comes, you're like,
oh, I'm so hungry and you eat it. And I'm like, wow, interesting. Because you said
you don't want it. God, you're such a bitch.
Jared.
Oh, this is very familiar
for me.
It's like a Reese's Pieces or something like
that is typically the scenario.
I think
the beautiful part about being in a relationship
is being with someone who knows you and gets you
and I think the moments like that
that you just missed of the not bringing you back
what you felt they knew you wanted
I mean I get why it would frustrate you
and then after you said something
here's the thing if they offered to go to the store
and you said no don't go to the store
then it's kind of on you
we know that but us women just want to be thought of
I know I get it but like you know sometimes
we just want to be told exactly what you want to.
No, obviously she's in the wrong.
I just, I identify with you.
In my current relationship, it's the exact opposite.
Oh.
Yeah, I go to the store often, and like, it's been long enough now that I know what to get.
Like, there are just things I will just get that I know he likes.
But if I don't, even if I call and say like, hey, I'm headed to the store.
Would you like anything?
And he's like, no, I'm okay.
Thank you for asking.
And then I come back, he's like, you didn't get me anything.
I'm like, I literally called you.
Like, that drives me insane.
So you don't get anything.
I feel like she's in the wrong.
And Shane's the opposite.
He asks for things, and I still don't get them.
Like, I'll go to Disneyland.
He's like, please get me these ears.
I'm like, you got it.
Come home empty hands.
I think it's like, I just think it's like bad communication.
Like, just say what you want.
Just be an adult about this.
It kind of drives me insane, honestly.
But I do understand that, like, yeah, you can, you,
learn your partner and that's sweet.
You can stop a fight from happening by just doing it.
But like, also communicate better.
And if she was actually crying over this, there's something deeper going on.
I think you need to get to the root of why you're actually mad at this motherfucker.
And I'll come at him with you.
All right.
Let's do one more fight.
Okay.
I don't know if this counts as like a fight necessarily, but my husband will not stop.
He pronounces words absolutely wrong.
And one of them that I can think of off the top of my head is accurate.
He said accurate.
Tell me it's not accurate.
Like, it's accurate.
Not accurate.
I like that sounds.
Jared and Shane have a few of these.
Okay.
You, me.
Oh.
You literally are.
You are gas leaking all the time.
Why don't you guys say supposedly to me?
Supposedly.
No, you guys say supposedly.
No, I don't.
You literally not just say.
words wrong. By the way, when you did that, it was like DJ Barbies. You don't just say words wrong.
You say the wrong word. So? For everything. What was the one that was, what was the one recently that was so
crazy? Shut up, Ken. Jesus. Wow. Okay, moving on. No, there was one recently that was so fucking nuts that I
had to just call you out. Because I, here's the thing. I never call you out on it because I know what you
mean. And it is annoying, like Lizzie does this to you a lot. It is, I get that it's annoying when you call
somebody out you know what they mean blah blah blah no if you tell me once that's fine and if i didn't take
it into consideration never do then that's on me right and so stop reminding me because obviously i
didn't like your suggestion right okay i can't really think on the spot of words that you say wrong
none or no no no well this isn't your fault this is probably a colorado in coloradoin thing
but you say uh when you're when you eat too much you get full
Lizzie all the time says, here's the dill.
Yeah, like I say D, she says I say like D-I-L or D-E-A-L.
No.
Well, it's supposed to be Dill, and she says, you say Dill.
Mountains.
Mountain.
It's like a Colorado-U-T-A-T thing, though.
That's more of an accent thing than saying things wrong.
Right.
It's like, because I was born in Utah.
But here's what I would say.
I would say, just let them say whatever they want to say and just ignore it.
Although, now that we're having kids, I don't want our kids to be stupid.
You do homework with them.
Like I don't want our kids to be like
I don't think it makes it stupid
Accurate's not an easy word
To even think of you know
That's a smart word
Accurate
I don't want our kids to be stupid
Oh no I don't hear what that implies
That your husband's stupid
It's not that you're stupid
It's not that you're stupid
It's not that you're stupid
It's I don't want them to go to school and start
saying your dumb words
And then the teachers are like, oh, then you'd be involved.
You'd be there all the time, then.
So what I'm saying is I need to start now.
I'm going to start correcting you now.
That was great.
I think it lived up to the name.
It really did.
What was our advice?
And those were, and you know what?
I liked it.
Those were like pretty minor fights.
Those are fun.
Do you know what I mean?
Those are fun fights.
Those are fun.
If you guys have any fights, keep them under like a minute long.
If you have any fights, maybe get a little crazier with these fights.
Send them in and we will reference.
Hey, sorry to interrupt the show, but really quick, I just want to give some love to one of my favorite sponsors ever, Buffy.
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I'm no longer a sweaty sleeper, and Ryland doesn't want to divorce me.
So it's great. So if you haven't tried the Breeze collection, please check it out, especially the Breeze sheet set. I love it so much. It'll keep you cool. Also, the Breeze Comforter, which is incredible. It's like puffy and big, but it's not like hot. It doesn't weigh you down and you don't want to rip it off halfway through the night because you're sweating. It's incredible.
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That's buffy.com, enter code farmer, and get 25% off of your purchase.
So thank you so much, Buffy, for being one of my most loyal sponsors and my first sponsor ever.
I just love you guys so much, and I love your betting.
So thank you so much.
All right, enjoy the rest of the show.
Bye.
Are we ready for the game?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, so this game is called, Hi, Barbie.
All right, we'll go through this really fast.
So I went on Instagram and I said, hey, give me some things.
movies, places, foods, things, whatever.
And we are going to say whether we like them,
Hi, Barbie, or whether we're done with them.
Bye Barbie.
So I'm going to say a word, and then all of us at the same time, say what we think.
Ready?
I love these segments.
Mushrooms.
Bye, Barbie.
Maybe we say it one by one.
Okay, how about it?
Start to Shane and goes clockwise.
Okay, we'll go fast.
Ready?
Mushrooms.
Bye Barbie.
Hi Barbie.
Hi Barbie.
Bye Barbie.
Okay, interesting.
You guys are mushroom boys.
I guess I already knew that.
It says everything I need to know.
Okay, this one's a little harder.
mayonnaise.
Hi, Barbie.
Hi, Barbie.
Whatever, Barbie.
You can't do that.
I mean, but sometimes, yes, sometimes no.
No, Barbie, it's one or the other.
Okay, then hi Barbie.
Okay, good.
I love mayonnaise.
I love mayonnaise.
No.
The more I'm allergic.
I'll throw up if I taste it.
Well, like in tuna fish sandwiches.
I love it so much in Europe.
It's commonplace to eat french fries and mayonnaise instead of ketchup, and I did
that here and all my friends were like,
ooh, you're insane and they were so mad.
In Utah, fry sauce is ketchup combined with mayo.
It's so good.
Have you tried it?
Manees?
I literally used to dip white wonder bread in mayonnaise.
I would make mayonnaise like cassidias.
Yes.
I'm here for it.
What's the next one?
This one's controversial.
Please don't hate us in the comments.
Or some of us.
Ready?
Harry Potter.
Bye Barbie.
Bye Barbie.
How dare you do you do?
Hi, Barbie.
I like the ride at you.
Oh, my God, wait, me too.
Hi, Barbie.
No, you can't do that.
Bye, Barbie.
Okay, here's the thing.
Actually, no, I want, I ask you to...
Ooh, and butter beer.
Ooh, never mind.
Hi, Barbie.
I don't like the butter beer.
I asked you to start it with me from the beginning.
I've tried so many times, but the ride is iconic and so is butter beer.
So I'm back in the middle.
Maybe I'm just traumatized because when I was in high school, my friend's dad would drop us off at the theater to see it and be like, are you guys?
What?
Like, yeah.
Oh my God.
Wait, yeah.
Oh, my God.
Wait, yeah.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
are gay.
Men and women.
The dad was like, oh, my God.
This is pretty fucking gay.
Is it JK rolling?
People, I don't remember what she did.
But people are saying she's like homoithic.
Transphobic stuff.
But she's writing stuff for gay people.
It's all confusing, guys.
Sandy recently tried to get me to watch the Harry Potter series, and I said, I can't do it.
In case you're wondering about Hufflepuff?
I did a few twilights.
That's all I could do.
We were all wondering.
I was literally sitting here going, if he doesn't say what house he's in.
You're such a Huffle.
Slytherin.
Oh, fuck you.
Why?
Because I can stand up for myself.
Griffin door.
I think Griffin door is.
Nice.
Perfect.
We're griffins, babe.
Okay.
I call my brother, babe.
That was weird.
Okay.
Okay.
This one, sorry, we'll be faster.
I don't know.
Fuck, we're having fun.
Okay.
I'm gonna be, okay.
I'm gonna cry.
Bye, Barry.
No, shit.
Oh, no, bye.
I love Jar Jarvie.
So, bye Barbie.
Of all things.
But Jar Jar is on my list.
I've never even seen him, bye, Barbie.
Hi Barbie with every fiber might be.
Wow.
I mean, when I was a kid, I loved them.
I haven't watched them as an adult, so I can't say bye because I don't know.
I feel like those would hold up to watch when you're an adult.
I just can't watch movies that aren't realistic.
Interesting.
This one is also controversial because you're married to one.
Disney adults.
This is new for me.
Hi, Barbie.
Hi, Barbie.
How about this?
For myself personally
No, that's why I don't have a pass
So I'm like
Bye Barbie
Myself personally
I Barbie for Sandy
Right, right, right
Okay
Hi Barbie
Yeah, hi Barbie
Okay, here's the thing
I used to be really judgy
Of Disney adults
Like really judgy
I would like
Oh my God, this is a weird
Even in high school
Like my friends at high school
Would be going to Disneyland every week
And I'd be like what are they doing
And then what?
You went to Casa Benito once
And everything changed
No, I started
Sorry, I'm applying my class
I started watching
Disney vlog
a few years ago and I got really into it and then I started thinking if I'm a Disney
hater why am I watching Disney vlogs maybe I'm just jealous of the people who can go to
Disney and have fun as adults when I'm over here watching on my couch I'm such a pathetic
fat fuck it's like people that are able to eat vegetables as snacks you know I
barbie I don't get it I don't either good for you exactly so and now my favorite
YouTubers of all time ordinary adventures they need to come on the podcast I love them
they're Disney adults and they love Star Wars and Harry Potter all the things I hate and I
I love them. So here's what I'm thinking. This is my new life now. And then I didn't know you were married to a Disney adult. How did I don't know that? I don't know. She tells everybody. Has she always been a Disney adult? She grew up. Has she always been one? Well, she grew up in the same city that Disneyland is in pretty much. So yeah, it's been like part of her history. You know, she loves Disneyland. She likes the whole experience. Wow.
Okay, our very last one, and this one was very specific.
And I don't know if this is a TikTok trend, but it goes really well with what we were talking about earlier.
Putting ice cubes in your ass.
I can say as somebody who's done this multiple times.
Why?
Multiple.
When I had my fissure.
Oh.
When I had an inside hemorrhoid.
The only thing that works sometimes is shoving it.
Not a full big ice cube.
A little bit of the crushed ice.
Sure.
Is there a mold for an ass cube?
Yes.
It technically, it's for water bottles.
Like an animal cube?
But it would be perfect for it for your ice cube.
Um
Feels great
Okay
The melting is a little
Drippy drip
It's a little weird
A little wet diaper
By the way
We fell down a rabbit hole
The other night
Of adults who wear
diapers
And use them
No judgment
But it was interesting
And the video we clicked on
The girl
I don't remember
But was like
Doing reviews of diapers
And then she shit
And you saw the diaper fill
And then we were out
There was a like
Terminology for it too
Is this like
Just people like
who use depends who need it?
Or is this like a kink?
I don't know if it's a king.
Or I don't know.
They're not jerking off
while they're shitting in their diet.
They're not having a blumpkin.
But they don't need it.
It doesn't meant blumpkin.
I mean, they are promoting their only fans.
Right.
This is a kink, for sure.
For sure.
Yeah.
You know.
Anyways.
What was the question?
Ice cubes.
Oh.
I don't know, but that's interesting.
You know, I will say, though,
life hack, a neck pillow for a plane.
Okay.
Also doubles as a hemorrhoid donut.
Because on the flight back I recently took, I had a pretty bad one.
And I took it off of my neck and I sat on it.
Boom.
Right on.
But did you use it as a neck pillow after?
No.
It's become more of a dog pillow than anything.
Well, there you guys go.
Hopefully you enjoyed our hi-barbies, bye Barbies.
Chris and I never did it.
Ice keeps in your ass?
Yeah.
All right, come on.
Chris?
I have a very sensitive to hot and cold asshole, so I'm going to say bye Barbie.
I've never tried it, but I can't hate on what I haven't tried.
So I'll say, hi, Barbie.
How do you know?
Well, like, there are lubs that are supposed to be, like, warming sensations that I've tried, and it just, like, hurt.
Like, it didn't react well to it.
I don't know.
Maybe that's different.
Did you have open cuts?
No.
Got a sensitive booty.
I tried hand sanitizer, and it felt weird.
Well, here you guys go.
Hopefully enjoyed our high barbies.
Bye, Barbies.
Let us know in the comments, which ones you were saying hi or bye to.
Okay, this is a video I found, and I just had to show you guys this,
because this shook my fucking brain.
Are you ready for this?
Oh, yeah.
My friends, this is a pumpkin swirl frozen coffee.
Who the f***ed thought it was a good idea to put this on the menu
because this drink has 185 grams of sugar.
Oh, how much do you?
I'll tell you what's good.
It's this much.
It's 40 seconds of sugar.
To give you another perspective, the amount of sugar.
sugar in there is even 14 glazed donuts.
What?
Plus, there's no pumpkin in here.
It's artificial flavors.
There is 12 mentions of sugar.
What?
Corn syrup came here.
There's 930,000.
Oh my God.
Are they canceled?
A hundred and ninety four cards.
A third of us are already type two diabetic
or pre-diabetic.
If America runs on this.
Okay, putting me on blast.
Um, oh my, my God.
That's crazy.
Bring them out!
Oh!
No.
I had to try it.
I had to try it, baby.
When I saw this going viral, I was like, okay, but this just sold me one.
I really, I really try.
Jared's not even waiting for us.
He never.
Wait, high barbie or my party.
The thing is, I try not to, like, drink my calories because you can't really tell what's in shit like this.
Right.
Now you know.
So this is probably the most unhealthy drink ever made.
So let's see.
It is Friday night.
How it tastes.
That's major.
This could be the last meal we have.
Three, two.
I bet it's amazing.
I mean...
Okay, I'm going to get in trouble for this,
but it's not sweet enough.
Isn't that crazy that I would...
It tastes too much like coffee.
Well, it's sweet.
I love it.
But the thing is, you wouldn't think that it's sweeter
than a whole dozen of donuts.
No. Jared's like done with it.
No, no, no.
Definitely not.
But it's like a little frozen, but it's good.
But if I were thinking, I'm going to sacrifice 150 grams of sugar,
How many Weight Watcher points do you think that eat?
This is delicious.
Oh, dude, this is like a week's worth of food.
Whoa, but you're bad.
This is so good.
You like it?
It's so good.
Gosh, you'd be sick, but it's not bad.
To me, it's just a little bitter.
It's not sweet enough.
I'd say double that sugar.
See, I feel like it's a little too sweet.
Get the straw to the bottom.
I think because some of it's frozen.
Oh, okay.
The good goods at the bottom.
Well, okay, so here's the other thing I wanted to try.
So Ice Spice has her new Duncan Munchkins drink.
Nice.
And supposedly, and no shade to,
to ice spice please come on the show we love you come on the show
Jared knows all your song that's what that's what the hemorrhoid cream should be called
the ice is oh just use ice spice so this was a hundred eighty grams of sugar
your butt maybe you could teach her her own songs Jared so a liter of cola is 95 grams of
sugar wow leader so is this drink as unhealthy okay so i don't know about the health but this
is kind of going viral because people are saying it's so gross because what they did was they
took dunkin munchkins which are like
Donut balls and they blended it in.
Yeah.
Okay, so we only have two of these.
So we're going to have to try one and then pass it to you.
Is it good enough or is it da-da-da-da?
Wait, is that who it is?
Yeah, da-da-da.
Oh, I know.
What's that?
She's like,
From that, I know who it is.
You know?
It tastes just like a donut hole.
It does?
Please don't spill that on the road.
We can pass this around.
It's weird, right?
I didn't like it at first.
It's not bad. It's better than the pumpkin thing.
It's interesting that nobody...
What?
What?
Oh.
Take a...
See?
Whoa.
I know.
It tastes like a donut.
It's like her music.
It's like at first you're here and you're like, I don't know, I'm too old.
I don't know.
And then you're like...
Oh, yeah.
It's just the pumpkin better.
Interesting.
I've never had a drink like this.
It really is a blended donut.
If anyone knows blended drinks out of us, it looks like Chris.
This looks like he knows blended drinks.
Well, speaking of pumpkin spice, this is, um...
I hate it.
Questionable, and I don't think we're going to be able to try it
because I honestly think we will die.
I will kill you.
The pumpkin spice spam came.
Ooh.
How old is it?
Okay, so the pumpkin spice spam is expired...
No.
August 22.
No.
But here's what I'm thinking.
That's just a suggestion.
this is right this is like end of the world type of shit right like spam is like lasts forever right we should at least open it up so that's what we had about twinkies right
oh my god that's like what we have in 2032 when we like have access to nothing but it's fall oh dude i can't even look at it okay it's that looks oh no is it supposed to not what it's supposed to look like at all and saw that guy looking at me there's a mold growing of this
It looks bad.
Hold on, let me see if this is about the...
Oh, is a gas guy here?
Hello?
Okay, big update before we get into Conspiracy Corner.
The gas leak is fixed.
It's good.
Supposedly.
We'll see.
I do wish we asked him, had the courage to ask him to come inside.
Wouldn't it have been fun to have, like, a random guest?
That would be fun.
Okay, so this is from Ivy.
She sent us an email, and the subject of the email
was, sorry, Ryland.
Thank God he's not here.
Currently, I'm on vacation with my girlfriend's family, and my girlfriend and her cousin
seemed to think that my shirt is another dress situation.
No.
So the girlfriend thinks that it's orange, but her sister and her think that it's red.
She said it's obviously a red shirt and they're wrong.
I want to know what Ryland thinks.
All right, so let's see.
I blacked out with rage.
Can you explain one more time?
Okay, so what color is Ivy's shirt?
I don't even want to look.
I mean, this one's hard.
Like, it's like...
Wait, what?
What were the option?
It's like a red with a slightly lighter red.
Oh, but orange and red are so close.
Yeah, it could be either.
I see red.
I see red.
Really?
I see like a blood orange.
I see more orange than anything, but it could be either.
I see blood orange with like red stripes.
Blood orange is more red than orange.
though, I think.
Yeah, blood is in the title.
And it's before the orange.
But it's still orange.
Whatever you guys want.
Honestly.
Whatever you guys want.
I'm like so easy about hanging chill.
Okay, well we all see red and some of us, the wrong ones.
See orange.
Yeah.
Okay.
So this is a video I found that it's not really conspiracy, but well, you'll see.
This creepy phenomenon called the Thatcher effect.
It happens because our brains can't really process faces when they're upside down.
So the pictures that are popping up on the screen right now might look normal.
Go ahead and watch this video again with your picture.
again with your phone upside down and you'll see what i do ready so i'm going to play the video upside
down this is crazy wow oh wait whoa whoa whoa whoa no isn't that crazy
ellen must looks exactly this oh go on you going on vacation we're here for it with kids
who turn a back seat into a courtroom drama over whose tablet is louder whose charger is fast
And why watching the same cartoon for the hundred time as a human right?
Yep, we totally have vehicles to handle that.
Because whether it's a road trip or a business trip,
where your flight's delayed, your phone's at 2% and your dinner, whatever's open.
Yeah, here for that too.
Enterprise.
We're here for it.
Wait, so she face tuned to fuck them up?
All those photos were terrifying except for Elon Musk who looked identical.
Right.
Well, he has an upside-down spot.
Am I stupid?
Okay, Ryland.
Okay, let me explain it.
No, of course not.
Okay, so the original video, right?
That's normal side up.
She fucked them up.
The faces on those are upside down.
But when you saw it, didn't it look normal to you?
You were like, oh, it's upside down.
But then when you actually flip it upside down, it looks like that.
You didn't get it, huh?
I still don't get it.
Your brain can't process looking at faces upside down for whatever reason.
So, like, what you're looking at right now is the image,
but when it's upside down, your brain sees it as normal.
As normally.
Okay, I've arrived.
Okay, so this is about toys.
So I'm so mad because I bought a video Barbie literally a year ago, and it was supposed to be here.
It still has not come, but have you heard of video Barbie?
No.
So Video Barbie is a banned Barbie.
They mentioned it in the Barbie movie for a second, but it's a Barbie that has a video camera in its chest.
What?
And then on Barbie's back, you can watch the screen.
But then they found out that bad people were accessing it and watching kids filming them.
Oh, no.
Like scary.
This sounds like a recipe for disaster to me.
So they didn't think, Barbie didn't think that one through.
Yeah.
So that Barbie's not here yet.
I wanted to film part of the podcast with that Barbie.
We don't have it.
But I did find it this.
This was sent to me by Cindy.
And I actually think this is Cindy in the video.
I'm actually not sure.
Is this Cindy or is this a viral TikTok?
I don't know.
It says, I'm a new mom and I, oh, this is her.
It says, I'm a new mom and I bought my little boy, this toy that sings.
Am I crazy?
Or does it sound like it's saying kill?
Okay, so here is the video.
so I bought my goodness toy and I need to know if I'm totally bugging out or not.
Basically, it looks like an ordinary walker, right?
You can change settings.
Ooh, we need to get one of those.
But when you press one of these buttons, I swear, just listen.
Chew.
I heard it.
Like, am I fully tripping out or does that say kill?
Like what?
What's it supposed to be?
I love the editing in this video that you did for this.
This is great.
First of all, I heard kill.
Second of all, is this her, the Cindy?
What else could it be?
Oh, it definitely said kill.
Right?
That's what it said.
Like, what's the other option?
Yeah, what's it supposed to be?
All I heard was kill.
Me too.
You're shaking me to my core, Mama.
That's what you wanted.
You're giving me what you want?
Anyways, Cindy, send us more conspiracies because we love you.
Yeah.
Okay.
Oh, this is going to shake you to your core, too.
God, I'm really shaking you now.
Here we go.
Hi, important question.
Do you have a bump up?
the roof of your mouth only 30% of people have that what okay like mine looks like this one but
i guess in the bottom of your mouth top do you have one my whole life i don't have that i don't have
that either i don't have it what do you have a bump in the roof of your mouth a slight one i can
fill it with my tongue take a picture of it whoa take a picture of it i mean it's slight if they
said 30% so that would 25% of the math that math the math math you don't always
A certain amount of the population can do this.
Well, the, whoa.
So not just a taco, but that's a...
Three-leaf clover.
Because I can do just a taco, but, yeah, I can't do that.
I look awful.
Did you take a picture of your mouth?
I'm trying.
Oh, my God.
Take a mouth fee.
Wait, how do you do that?
Oh, my God, I hate this.
It's one of those things where if you can't do it, you can't do it.
Did you get it?
Did you censored your teeth?
Do you see it?
I do kind of see it.
I see it.
Yeah.
Oh my God,
you're one of them.
It looks like a demon inside of you.
It does.
Wow.
Wow.
Yeah, it goes down a little.
Whoa.
What is that?
Yours is just flat.
An arch?
Mm-hmm.
Like a perfect arch.
No bumps, no lumps.
Okay, wow, that was crazy.
I can't believe it.
Guys, let us know in the comments.
You have a bump in your mouth?
Wow, these comments are going to be crazy today.
Okay.
Oh, Jared.
This is for you. You wear glasses.
I do.
Have you heard this isn't even a conspiracy.
This is just true.
Pretty much all glasses are made by the same company.
Yeah.
I'm talking like $800 Gucci glasses.
My nipples out.
Sorry.
I'm talking $100 Gucci glasses.
I'm talking $2 dollar store glasses.
They are all made by the same company.
So there's a company called Lugger.
Exotica frames, this company owns and makes Armani, Chanel, Burberry, Tiffany's, lens crafters,
Sears, Target, so they make literally anything in any product in any range, and the markups
for some of their glasses are 1,000%.
Sorry, I wasn't listening.
Is it just the frames or the lenses or both?
The frames.
Oh, that's crazy.
They don't become a monopoly on.
I think it costs like a little bit of a wig.
couple dollars to make a pair of glasses.
Barbie is going downhill from here.
For reference, I just got new glasses and I got like a pair of rayband sunglasses all in
with prescriptions.
It was like 300 bucks.
But that's why like they do the eye exam for free, all that, because there's so much
damn money on the lenses.
So that's why the profit is.
Yeah.
So this guy literally bought up all the glasses companies and now he just makes them himself.
So it's like, I mean, not himself.
Monopoly. Literally.
Isn't it illegal?
That's what I think is real mad about.
I don't understand because monopolies are supposed to be illegal, but then like Disney definitely has a monopoly.
Everything is like everyone that's super successful is, right?
It's also because most people have insurance that covers vision or a lot of people do.
Anything that's insurance based, the prices are usually fucking skyrocketed.
Because insurance is paying it.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Yeah, I just thought that was interesting.
Now what am I going to do?
I got ripped off.
I love sunglasses.
But now it's like should I just be getting dollars for classes?
I mean, you have to if they're not prescription.
Over the years that we've learned that with everything, with gene, like with food, with clothes.
And no.
Food.
Honey Barbie.
I told you, but, um, okay, this is really stupid, but I just had to show it anyways.
This is from Kimmy.
She said, this shook me.
So let me show you this.
The blue stripes are all parallel.
You're a liar.
You know what?
You could actually see it if you blur your eyes.
If you blur your eyes,
eyes at one point they just all go parallel to each other i don't see it i just see crooked lines you got
you got it's almost like you got to look through your eyelashes i got long luscious eyes i have a phone
level do you want me to get it out easier for me but okay i just leveled it do you see that i just
leveled it so it is pair how does that make any sense even the vertical yeah you need to let me see
no no keep going down i got to make sure the second line i think it's just the dots and the way that
the dots are located but the actual lines are okay it's starting to give me a headache well no here's the
I think the diamonds that are black and white, those are all straight lines.
So if you look at those, it's making me sick.
Oh, are you going to, are you going to vomit?
Okay.
My brain's like they're not straight.
Yeah, thank you, Kimmy.
That's, yeah, that's, is that you in the bars?
So many jokes.
Okay.
They're not straight.
I'll turn them.
Okay.
Now, our last conspiracy, this was sent to me by Jared.
So this involves Bob Ross.
So icon.
Let's just put it out there.
Bob Ross is a legend.
They're not mistakes.
They're happy accidents.
This guy with the big afro and whatnot.
But I saw a video that kind of shook me to my core.
And they're saying that because he painted hundreds of pictures.
Every video he did it or every episode was a different picture.
That if you take the pictures and you do almost like a flipbook with them,
what he did is he painted you a map of how to get to where he buried all the bodies that he killed.
What?
And Bob Ross is a serial killer.
What?
serial killers are highly intelligent
individuals. Bob Ross is
obviously highly intelligent, so I'm not trying to slander
the guy's name. Are you fucking serious right now? I'm not slander
in the guy's name. No, yeah. If you look it up,
there's like videos of the
they're like going through a river,
you know what I mean in his pictures. Yeah,
look up. Why does it have to be the bodies he killed?
Bob Ross reveals killing.
The Bob Ross theory. We all know
Bob Ross is the lovable, curly-haired painter
on television. But what if I
told you, there's a much
darker theory surrounding Bob Ross.
This theory claims that he's actually a serial killer,
and it's all because of this painting right here.
This painting is called Happy Little Accidents.
But the stories surrounding this painting is anything but happy.
What looks like a typical serene forest landscape
actually looks eerily similar to this location.
So actually, this is the scary part.
I think this is different.
This is a different video.
This is even here.
Okay, I got to look at it real quick.
Oh, my God.
Is this not just some strange?
Why is...
Okay, this is Evidence B.
Wow, wait, that's even fucking scarier.
And that's not even the one.
Whoa.
Dude.
Can you imagine he's dead in his grave and you guys are now painting him out to be a serial killer?
Painting?
No, first of all, we're just kidding.
He's iconic.
Rest and peace.
Second of all, I feel like he would love this because he's all about art and mystery and intrigue.
He's probably like, yeah.
Dude, Bob Ross was ahead of his time.
Right.
We're just barely getting it.
That's incredible.
That's what I'm thinking.
Well, speaking of people ahead of their times and possibly murderers.
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Let's get to a recap.
Light camera action.
Ryland's recap is about to happen.
Ryland's recap.
On today's episode of the Shane Dawson podcast,
The Barbicast survives a gas leak.
Ooh.
Oh, we learned about Blumpkins.
Yep.
Woo! In a new sexual terminology that we never knew of.
Well, Jared's a sick fuck.
He knew about it.
Pumpkins are all the rage this Halloween.
Oh, we have a big bearded dragon fan.
The couch crew discovers their biggest fan, a bearded dragon who has posters of us plastered all over.
That been a lot.
Their tank.
Yeah, that did.
That meant a lot.
Yeah, no, no, no, no, it really did.
Duncan made the worst drink for you ever made.
And the best ever, munchies.
Dunkin' Donuts will give you a heart attack and serve you ice spice all at once.
Fat memories?
In sad news, the boys reveal their favorite fat memories, reliving their traumatic pasts.
Oh, we discovered that some of us like and some of us don't like Harry Potter.
You liar!
In controversial news, some of the boys reveal they aren't fans of Harry Potter.
I feel like you had to grow up with it.
Video Barbies for perverts.
Yeah.
Pervert alert.
Get your creep cam on.
Only available on eBay.
Barbies with cameras to spy on anything and everything.
Yikes.
Perv alert.
Oh, did we talk about the woman pegging her husband?
Oh.
And exciting news, we all learned the best use.
of a dildo is to stick it right up against your dresser and back it up into it.
Yeah.
Okay.
I got ripped off all my glasses.
Yeah.
Conspiracy, you all are paying way too much for your glasses because they're all made
at the same place and one guy's monopolizing everything.
We're all cool with Disney Adults now.
Oh, yeah.
Shout out Disney Adults.
Shout out Disney Adults.
Shane has now become a fan.
In your old age, you're turning on a lot of things you've preview.
easily hate it. You're becoming more accepting.
Thank you. That's what I was saying.
Very cool. Yeah.
Remember to always get your partner something at the store.
Oh. Yes.
To avoid fights with your significant, unreasonable others, always get them something at the
store to avoid meltdowns that may lead to real fights from something you did to them
earlier.
And then pro tip, ask the significant other, is there anything you can think of that we need
and then just get in what you know they want?
Right. That's the pro tip.
Don't ask what they want.
Right.
It's a trick question.
Oh, the bump in your mouth. You're weird.
Yeah.
I caught alert.
I am the only one to have a bump in the roof of their mouth, which means I'm way better than all of you.
And actually, it proved the statistic exactly.
25% of us have it.
Also prove something else because you showed us a picture of the roof of your mouth and you know what you didn't have?
The dick sucking mark.
Work on that.
All right, you guys.
Let us know if you give your husband's Blumpkins in the comment section below.
Have you ever tried it?
Be honest.
We want your honest reactions in the comment section below.
And giveaway alert, Shane is giving away, AirPod Pro Max, whatever.
I will say they have the best noise canceling in the game.
So if you do want a misophonia hack, that's them.
Shane's giving those away on the Shane Dawson podcast Instagram.
So go over and check that out.
Make sure you're following everyone on social media
and following this podcast on all audio platforms,
liking and subscribing on YouTube
and following everyone on social media.
Thank you so much for watching and supporting the show.
We'll see you right back here in two weeks.
Good night.
Bye, Barbie.
Well, there you guys go.
Hopefully enjoyed whatever the hell that was,
Gas leak edition.
I'm so happy that we all survived.
All the Ken's and the Barbie.
We're all going to have ourselves
a big old blumpkin after the show.
And we'll see you guys.
next time.
Bye, Barbie!