The Shane Dawson Podcast - Alien Conspiracy Theories

Episode Date: December 8, 2024

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Hi, I'm Danny L'Priori. Ever get the feeling you're being watched online? It's not paranoia. It's data brokers. These companies collect your personal information, including your browsing habits, where you live, and even who you're related to, and they sell it to the highest bidder. That's where ORA comes in. ORA automatically removes your personal info from data broker sites and keeps it off. It also monitors the dark web, safeguards your device.

devices, alerts you to real-time threats, and more. Start your free trial at ora.com slash control. That's a-U-R-A-com slash control for your free trial. New two-part conspiracy series up now on YouTube.com slash Shane. Enjoy. Strapped in. We have Conspiracy Corner and a deep dive on aliens that Jared has prepared for us, and we are ready to be addicted.

Has the government conducted secret UAP crash retrieval programs? Yes or no? Yes. Okay, were they designed to identify and reverse engineer alien craft? Yes. What? Whoa. Hey, welcome back to whatever the hell this is.

Earthquake edition. I don't know why you're making a joke out of this. It felt like a jocable size. It was just a minor shake. I'm terrified of earthquakes. Spencer, how was my reaction? He just had an earthquake right before we started rolling. How was my reaction? He had in this room?

He crowds, he's like, is that an earthquake? Is that an earthquake? Oh, that's his like terrified mom. But he crouches like this. No, he's just panic. Like sheer panic for anything that goes wrong. Let me explain. He's always like, okay, okay.

I had no idea that we had an earthquake. Chris, you're so grounded. How did you miss that? Here's what I will say. Before we had kids, I didn't really get scared of earthquakes. I was kind of like, ooh, it's like a ride. Now that we have kids, it's like next level. I am running to that room because, like, it scares me.

Is it safer just to go outside, though? No, because the ground could open up and swallow you. Wow. What's stopping it from just opening up right here, though, I have seen a few videos on YouTube of unexpected sinkholes under people's houses. So they'll be sitting on their couch and just fall. You've seen that on YouTube? No, I've seen reporters talk about it on YouTube.

I don't know if there's been like a camera. in anybody's house. But imagine, like, eating your popcorn at night, watching this podcast. Okay. Wow, what a vibe. What, that's a vibe. Yeah. My favorite video that's kind of like that is the one where the guys, like,

drinking beer in his recliner watching TV, and then the whole ceiling falls. And then he just stays there, and then he, like, takes another sip of beer. It's iconic. What the fuck you happen. Yes, today is a very special episode because not only are we close to Christmas, clock the hat. Also, it is a medical episode. because every single person here today has some kind of medical issues.

Each and every one of us? Every single one of us. Okay, ready? I'm going to do a speed round. Because we're old. Testicle issues, possible sleep apnea, hemorrhoid the size of a potato, forehead pimple.

Oh, that's so amazing. And a lifelong heart issue. Yeah, I went to the heart doctor on Thursday. Uh-oh. Oh, no, no, no. And I have bad news. I might feel bad to put myself in this arena, to be honest with you.

Forehead pimple is hard. Yours is invisible, which means, yes, you can- Oh, those are the worst. Hold on, so heart. That's fine. I have to go get a thing called an echo. It's funny. Where's on a gram.

Ultrasound. I have one of my nuts this week. Yeah, yeah. It's Spencer's turn. I know. Yeah, I'm out. I'm just saying, request the heated one. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But it's funny because you're just sort of laying and they turn off the lights and you're just laying on a bed and there's just a woman just like, and she's like, anyway, it's like my kids in college. Like, she's just like talking. Anyway, it's not exciting. Wow. Well, I'm happy you're okay. So far?

Wait, you already did it? Yeah, yeah, I did it. And when did they give you the results? They don't get it. It takes forever because it's like a whole thing. Okay, well, who wants to go first? How about you? Me?

Yeah, you never have medical issues. This is big. Oh, my God. And I was terrified. For him to go to the doctor? No, he forced me into the ER, which was, in hindsight, not necessary. I just had tons of ball pain where it felt like somebody was punching me in my nut at all hours of the day. And it lasted for about two days until Shane finally was like, I'm going to Google this.

I was like, I've been intentionally not Googling this because you're just going to find the worst when you Google. And Lizzie and Shane were both like, no, this is urgent. You need to go to urgent care. You need to check this out. And I was like, I don't know, let me just give it a few days. So I go to urgent care and they're like, oh, no, no, no, we can't give you anything at urgent care because this requires an ultrasound because we can't tell what's going on without. So then I ended up at Chris's home, which is the ER at Kaiser. And I'm. And I'm going to I was like, hey, Chris, where are you at, girl? He didn't reply to me, so he was probably...

There's no service in there. You guys couldn't get old. He was a little busy. Yes, so I go into the ER because it's the ER, and this is why I'm like, in hindsight, I shouldn't have been there. Even when I went to my primary doctor for the follow-up, he's like, oh, no, if it was a torsion, which is what Shane and Lizzie were afraid of, it's where the testicle tube gets, like, wrapped around or your ball gets inverted over it.

And that is an emergency in the sense that you would need immediate surgery or you lose circulation to your nut and you have to lose and remove your ball. So Lizzie and Shane were like, that's what it is. And then I said, hold on, we were in the kitchen. I was like, it could be a torsion. Oh my God, this is bad. You can lose a ball. And he literally goes, I have two.

Very optimistic of you. And you have kids. Because I'm just looking out for you for the rest of your. I was like, I'm married. Like what? Are you going to think less of me with one ball? No, but it's your ball. I want both of mine.

So, I woke up, and unfortunately for me, it still felt like I was being punched in the nutsack. So I gave in. I was just down there. But what I'm saying, like, I'm going to fast forward and then go back in time. My doctor was like, oh, no, if this was a torsion, you'd be screaming and in so much pain, unable to move that you'd have no option but to go to the ER. But yeah, then, like, the student nurse comes in because I ring the fucking bathroom bell because I can't hold it any longer, and I'm hooked up to a heart machine. This story has everything.

It really does. I'm serious. I ring the bathroom bell, and I'm like, okay, somebody come on, hook me, and this girl starts, like, gagging and gasping when she walks in. I'm like, oh, God. She knows. Oh, like, she knows. Oh, like, she was like, okay.

You are dragging a viewer. Wow. I appreciate it, but it's like, in my condition. No, that sucks. That's the worst. I'm always going to, like, be, I'm always, like, appreciative. and I'll always like, you know, do the most. But it's like, now I have to explain to her why I'm posted up in the ER, you know?

I'm like, don't worry about me. It's just like somebody's pulling out my right testicle. Fine. The ultrasound technician finally comes in. He's this guy and he's like, okay, pull off your apron. So I'm dick out. And he's like, well, I'm going to need you to get it in a position that I can get the correct imaging. So my nut hurts already, mind you.

He's like yanking my sack up and putting a towel there. And he's like, just hold it there. And I'm like screaming in pain because it's so painful. And then he wants me to hold my nutsack in an even more painful position while he sticks a fucking ultrasound with tons of lube all over my nutsack. And he's like, I'm not getting it. So he's moving it around, getting it in the right place. I'm like, are you sure you got the image? And he's like, yeah, the ultrasound sees through.

So I'm getting what I need to get. Wasn't a torsion, wasn't a tear, not an emergency. And so the ER doctor comes back in an hour later. and he goes yeah there's nothing sorry and I go so what am I doing here like you it's like I can barely walk it's so much pain it's like I don't know what to tell you that's maddening whenever that happens you're like I'm in so much pain something's happening I sent me home I went to my regular doctor and he's like oh yeah it's just a bacterial infection here's the antibiotics and I said why the fuck didn't the ER do the doctor do this because then I was

they were too busy watching the sit I could have been in three days less of pain because as soon as he gave me the antibiotic, I woke up the next morning and like 95% of the pain was gone. So then my doctor was like, you need to, especially while your balls are in pain, you need to wear supportive underwear. Like, because when your balls are hanging low, I walked in and hit a song on the ground. I was like, what the fuck is that? Or not a thong, he's not a song you grab. But I, I know it wants up. I don't want to wear boxers. I'm like, what the hell is going on? I was trying it all. Okay. He was, and then I started, looking into research.

No, this is, well, this isn't unrelated, but I was looking into research about like sleeping commando versus gna and all these things. Doctors are saying, if you're, if you're sleeping commando and your ass is all about your sheets, there could, it could release bacteria

into your sheets that if you then flip over, bacteria could get to shoot. That is not your asses. I read about this. I read about this. Do you sleep command? Come on. What?

Do you sleep naked? Yes. And I almost never wear underwear. So now I'm going to start. Which sucks. I guess I don't sleep thinking. No, you don't. Well, now I'm in supportive underwear too, which sucks.

I've had the same thing with my balls. I've had the same thing happen. I didn't have to get ultrasounded, but it was after me and my ex had sex, and the next day it hurt so much. And I thought I had the torsion. I thought I had the torsion, and then I kept trying to untwist them myself. And I was like, it's making it worse. Then I went to the urgent care, but they, I went to urgent care, and they were like, ah, that's that. And then they prescribed you an antibiotic.

They put me through a whole rigmarole. I didn't go to the yard. Oh, my God. I spent fucking six hours at the ER. That's the worst. And my doctor did say, you can get an infection doing anything. He said, it just happens. It's not like, because working out too hard.

Because I was like, did I work out too hard? Am I having too much? Am I not having enough sex? Am I too cool? Is it too much? If I haven't too much or not enough? And then you start falling down red at holes and everyone's like, I've been with ball pain for years. And I'm like, what?

Go to the doctor. Okay. Wow. That was a lot. I've gone on an hour press tour about this between both podcasts. But it was really good. That was a good story. What a gift you gave us for Christmas.

Okay. So Chris. So I may or may not have sleep apnea. I've been having since sepsis, like crazy headaches and like not sleeping well. And it feels like I can't breathe right anymore from then until now, even though I feel otherwise recovered. And just like weird things happening. And so they've done a series of tests. One of them was an at home.

sleep apnea test. And they never responded to me. I messaged them on the Kaiser app. And then I guess I made an appointment that I missed. And I just have a voicemail saying, oh, we're going to order your CPAP machine. And I was like, CPAP. So I have sleep apnea. I have to wear that thing going. And I'm like, I don't want to, I don't want to sleep with. Oh, Chrissy. Well, prayer's up. Thank you. You, for your balls, for honestly your condition that you really don't talk about. Yeah. I mean, it's not, nothing happens did that that was a much better story than i just go and they're like yeah you're all right for now yeah and jared you did not give enough shine to your head people it's got to be hard it's hard yeah so i'm not trying to overshadow anybody but you know no no you all gonna see um so yeah we all have our

issues but you know what guys we're here it's almost christmas and we have a crazy show in store yeah stick around because you're not gonna want to miss it that's a real pro uh thank you Okay, before we fall down the rabbit hole, which is, this is a real rabbit hole. I can't wait. It's a lot. Before we do that, we need to set up something that we're going to be doing for our special Christmas episode in two weeks. Spencer, do you have the stalking? We are going to be playing a little secret Santa.

Okay, so how it's going to work is all of our names are inside the stalking. I even think Sandy and Lizzie, because they're coming on the Christmas episode. They're going to be on there too, so we've got to let them know. But we're all going to pick a name and see who we have to get a gift for. And then on the Christmas episode, we're going to open up our gifts and try to guess who gave it to us. Now, we need to set some ground rules, right? Like, there needs to be a price limit, I guess?

Yeah. But is there other rules? Like, does it, is there categories or is I've never, have I ever. No, no. I think it did it last year on this podcast. We did? I don't know. No, I think someone just went to like Costco and Boston.

Oh, I gave Lizzie my credit card. Yeah, last year, Lizzie did it for everyone. You played Secret Santa. Yeah, so this one, it'll be, everyone's going to pick it. I think, I don't think any of the rules, I think, just like try to get a good gift for that person. If you pick your own name, just pick again. Okay.

Oh, God, I'm scared. Okay. Very excited about who I got. Cool, cool, cool. Okay, cool, cool. Wait, this is fun. Okay, so I'm picking for Sandy. We'll all find out together.

Pretty good. Everyone's reaction. Uh-huh, right, cool, cool. And then this is for Lizzie. Okay. Very efficient. Well, there we go. No, I'm actually

He played it, he got the stocking, he wrote the names He got a lot for that That was big, dude, that was huge That was big Thanks Yeah, well I'm very excited I love, I hate opening presents It's honestly my biggest ick

Like I hate the feeling of somebody watching me And then I had to like respond like I hate it But I love giving presents, it's so fun So this is gonna be fun I relate to that a lot Oh, I hate it Hey, sorry to interrupt the episode

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What am I doing? So it's like 4 in the morning right now. It's a lot. I'm going to go. See you guys on the next ad. Bye. Oh, I have something to say. It's the most wonderful time of the year.

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pickle. I'm going to work on the other ones. I'll show the rest of the show. Bye. moving on to the rabbit hole I don't even know where to start because I texted you guys because I was falling down to a rabbit hole and I was like let's do a rabbit hole segment Jared what do you got Spencer what you got Chris what do you got Jared you came through with some crazy shit

Spencer got heated about his I got a good one so this is going to be fun okay Jared do you want to start with yours so I've been getting into just any kind of video that has somebody doing the best thing in the world you know like it all kind of started because have you ever heard of speed runs

Like video games? Oh, yeah. So it's basically just people who could play a video game the fastest. And the way they break it down is insane. Like per frame and the frame rates and they have glitches. And people beat Mario Brothers in like, I think, under five minutes. But the interesting one that was pretty mind-blowing is there's a whole category of people that do it all blindfolded. So like Super Mario for Nintendo 64, I think it takes like 15 minutes to beat it without a blindfold on, you know?

But someone did it blindfolded, and it started at a 30-hour world record of someone doing it, all from, like, memory and just figuring out blindfolded. But with practice, they got it down to like 30 minutes. Why? So just to be that good at something where you can do it blindfolded or like the world record for games is just, it takes a lot to figure out how to optimize these games. And there's channels that make it seem very interesting. But one of the things I like to look at is like Guinness Book of World Records. You know, and like people that can break the most, they're stupid ones. Like, people who could break the most pumpkins with their head in one minute.

That sounds stupid. You're right. Absolutely. Absolutely. That's a massive achievement. The woman who bust can't. Oh, yeah. I like that woman.

I ain't trying that. That's a great thing. Yeah, for sure. You guys are familiar with the people behind. I love World Records. Or, you know, but there's some of them that are just insane to watch because they're like the fastest snapper in the world. Oh, yeah.

Like that guy is great. But the one that got me was a jump roper. A guy that is like the fastest jump roper in the world. and, I mean, it doesn't even look real. The video looks like Photoshop. I mean, maybe it is. I don't know, but... You sent it to me.

I haven't watched it. Spencer watched it, and his reaction was so funny. I was like, yeah, I'm going to save my reaction. I don't know if it's real. Like, who knows these days if this is actually real? Is there even a rope? No. No way.

No way. It looks like it could be completely... Dude, that took a lifetime of practice to get to that point, have you. That's better. Hi, I'm Danny Lopiori. Ever get the feeling you're being watched online? It's not paranoia. It's data brokers.

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I kind of think it's real. It was the fastest in the world, right? No way. I think it's AI. It says he jumps 228 times in 30 seconds. That's crazy. I can't even jump 10. Wow.

So you just, what else? The video games and that are pretty much it. Like, I'll look into that kind of stuff, but. are the real big rabbit holes. Well, I think our new years... There's a lot of videos to watch, so that's been a deep rabbit hole. But I watch video...

Okay, this is a side note, but I don't play video games. Yeah. You liked Animal Crossing. There's been periods of time. I think we got into... That's a lifestyle, not a game. Like, we got into Super Mario, not a game.

And Mario Car. But I don't consider that, like, game... Yeah, you don't got a headset. But I watch. Like, there's, like, channels on YouTube where all they do is talk about Nintendo. And I watch it. And he watches all of the, like,

announcement to be reversed. Yeah, like when they do like they're like TED Talks or what do you call those like the Apple announcement talks? What are they called? It's just toad given a TED Talk. Oh, no, I love it. And I get so excited. I don't know any of the games. I don't care.

I'm not going to buy any of them. But I'm just like, ooh, what are they going to release? Cool. Okay. Suspenter. Okay. Speaking of people getting angry. Yes.

So I'm right here. I fell down the rabiddle of the crumble subreddit. What? Crumble cookie? Yes. Yes. And it goes even deeper. than I've been you ever think it's going to.

So it started out. How did you land on Crumble Reddit? So this is how I found it. So this was like, this went on another, on another, like, site. It was like, someone just posted this. They're like, the Crumbull's Robert is crazy. And so the post is, are you fucking kidding me? Has Crumble lost their fucking minds?

An entire week of only pies. This is so fucking stupid. It's Thanksgiving. I think this person's the idiot. Those all look good. Essentially, it comes down that there are a ton of people on the Crumble subreddit who are all hate Crumbull. They're all

constantly mad at Crumbles. They're obsessed with it. So talk about obsessed. So this is... It's the highest form of flattery to be that upset about something. So there's stuff like this like going on vacation and brought out all my frozen homies to see who's coming with me so they're these people who they get all the drops and they freeze them all.

And so it's like they can pick and choose where they're going to bring it. Honestly, that's kind of a big flex. Yeah, self-control. So this is a great one. So this person is another, I don't know if they a name for the people who freeze the cookie so essentially they maybe a freezer so they their favorite cookie was the uh brownie sunday i missed it and so they bought it and they froze the original one which is on the right and then they came out with it they re-released it and it's on

the left and so this is almost like the chipoli video we did where it's like they basically it's tiny they did shrinkflation is hitting crumble yeah like look how much smaller it is and so this is and so yeah they're waiting they're weighted everything. I mean, we've done stupider. That's five pounds. Oh my god, they wrote a hole. They roll up like. So they said, damn you crumble for creating the perfect cookie, making me wait for years for another national release of it and totally fucking it up. Yeah, I'm all caps mad. Wow. See, these people are obsessed. I mean, like... They're obsessed. So this is a person who's not from America and they posted in the subreddit. So I've been lurking the subreddit for

some time and it's insane to read everything and learn about the entire crumble industry. This all feels like something out of an Ozark episode. Why are these cookies so popular if they're so bad all the time? Is this some sort of gambling addiction type thing? Why do so many people keep on buying these cookies, even though they don't really enjoy them? Why just not get the cookies? What's up with the cookie flavor roulette? That seems so rigged.

Weekly sets of six or eight cookies you can order. Sometimes you need to pre-order. How is this company still alive? It's just a mess. Cookies, pies, cakes? What's the difference anymore? True. But like, facts.

Facts. Someone doesn't understand it. So the deepest I got in this rabbit hole was this person responded actually to the post of people getting mad in the subbrate and said, I worked for Crumbull's corporate team and I am not joking when I tell you they had to basically take away the CEO's phone because he was addicted to doom scrolling this subred. He almost fired an entire department because someone leaked a cookie line up. No way. So then someone was like, I hope this is true, blah, blah. And he said he was assigned a PR.

assistant to handle his socials because the redditors found his burner account on the subreddit and also because he wouldn't stop posting combative tic-togs what so basically they had to take away the CEO's phone because he was getting so mad about these people complaining in the crumpled subreddit they're making more than a billion dollars a year they're fine they're fine um okay so my rabbit hole I have a few this was so crazy that I forgot that this happened Chris you're going to remember this happened because you might have been there so do you guys remember the fake Hawaii missile strike notification. Oh, yes. Yes, I do. Yeah. That was horrible. Okay. January 13th, 2018, there was an accidental alert that was sent to everybody's

phones in Hawaii from the emergency alert system. And it said ballistic missile threat, inbound Hawaii, seek immediate shelter. This is not a drill. This is messed up. So all of Hawaii got this and they literally thought they were about to die. They thought a new was coming to do. So they all, like, everybody didn't know what to do. They all were trying to hide and go in shelters. Is this a sick? Like, how does somebody even have that power or have that drafted in their phone to be able to hit send out? I don't know, but it took 38 minutes for the government to correct it and be like, sorry, it was a glitch. 38 minutes. People thought they were about to die. There's videos of people like, oh my God, this is my last day. Oh, my God,

it's happening. Jim Carrey, I think it was Jim Carrey was in Hawaii. Yes, he has a whole story. about it was terrified he took a picture of himself because he thought this is going to be the last picture I ever take and now that picture is the cover of his memoir like it is yeah so that's my face uh when I believe that I have 10 minutes left to live it's good how did I miss all of this I know me too I must have known it happened but I kind of just forgot I kind of remembered as I was researching it but insane it literally was just a mistake it was blamed uh wow it was uh supposed to be a drill that was supposed to be like, this is a drill, this is just a test,

and they accidentally released it to everyone. To drill and instead the drill said you're going to die. How is there not like a big Netflix documentary about this? Like this is like the 38 minutes where everybody thought they were going to die. I'm going to make this documentary. You just inspired me. So I started sending me down this rabbit hole of like warnings.

Like okay, so that obviously, so now we know if there is a nuke coming. Knock on wood, that does not happen. Oh God, there's no wood. you got it um so yeah if there was a new coming i always wondered how we would find out because some people say oh you wouldn't find out it would just be a blast and you'd be dead but would we get a phone alert and what would that be like like what okay so that happens when we're in colorado you said that when there's a big tornado they'll have the whee whee siren so then i started trying to look around for them because no you can't see them you can't see that where the fuck are they hidden in the ether that's even crazier Hawaii has those two where are they those sirens I mean, I've actually seen one of them, though. Okay, what do they look like? It looked like a big megaphone kind of thing.

I don't know. Really? So then I'm starting, like, oh, my God. So you're in Colorado and you hear that big siren thing. I'm like, what else do they have, like, warnings for? Yeah, because you can't do it with an earthquake because that just happens. No, because it just happens. What about, like, a tsunami?

Like, would they be like? I'm assuming they have the, yeah, those goes off in Hawaii for, like, when they think a tsunami's coming. I think the phones, though, like the way that they do an amber alert. Because a lot of times they do that with the earthquakes, like, one second before the earthquake happens or right afterwards. Didn't get one today. Also, like, I started thinking, okay, if this was just a mistake and accident, what kind of chaos could somebody, especially with AI and hackers? Like, what kind of chaos could you cause in the United States with this? I mean, create total pandemonia. What's that word? Pandemonium? Yep. I think. Yeah. What,

and then what would happen? How would we know it was fake? What would we do? Like, this is so insane. Well, especially if, like, maybe if another country wanted to be like, maybe they wanted to do something else and, like, distract everyone. They could, I mean, they could be, like, set off all the alarms, have everyone go in panic. And then if they're, I don't know what I was like to be doing. But you know what I mean? Like, they could be, like, putting something somewhere or trying to hack it into something else. I don't know. You could literally do anything you wanted because if everybody thought we only had 38 minutes to live, what the fuck would happen?

Literally, what the fuck would happen? Probably exactly why America is trying to ban TikTok. Interesting segue. Yeah, keep going. Okay, I'm interested in here where this. goes. Well, no, if a different country owns TikTok and they want to send out a mass message to all of its users in a specific country, what's stopping them from doing so. Hopefully the law. I don't know. I mean, that's why they're always trying to ban it here because they don't have. I don't think there's like total regulation from the U.S. over that app. They're saying it's getting banned, right? In January 26th, I think. Is that actually happening? Where are people going to go? I hope so. This morning, the clock begins ticking down for TikTok. We'll see. I feel like it's not for some reason.

They say that every year. They're like, TikTok's going to leave, and then it's never gone. Right. We also have more on fake TikTok notifications later in the show, actually. Oh, wow. We do. Okay, the other rabbit hole I fell down was actors teaching people how to cry. This is so specific and random, but have you ever seen the videos of, like,

Bryce Dallas Howard showing, like, how she cries on command? Yes. And there's so many videos of actors trying to cry in command or teaching you how. And, like, I'm not, like, an actor. I mean, I would like to act a little. Are you yawning? No, I'm trying to cry. You're literally the star of a feature film.

You put your tongue up. You're supposed to, yeah, Bryce Ellis-Howard said, you're supposed to rub your tongue against the roof of your mouth on like the soft palate, and that makes you cry. If I touch a certain place on my sinuses, sometimes tears will come out, but it doesn't look like crying. It looks like I'm tearing up. Like, crying is such a specific, like, huh, huh, huh.

So then I started watching, like, what do actors do if they can't cry? Like, how do you get yourself to cry? And there's, and I've heard of these, but I've never seen them in real life. So obviously there's tear sticks, right? Which look like little lipsticks and you put it underneath your eyes right before they say action and then you start crying. Period. An even more medical version. Now this looks very scary.

Ryland saw this before the show. He goes, what the fuck is that? Jam this into your balls. So this is a tear blower and you go up to an actor. Anna Fierce used this on an interview. She did? I haven't seen that clip yet. Yeah.

Okay. So you blow it in an actor's eyes and it really fucking works supposedly. So I talked to my makeup artist friend. She gave me both of these suggestions. So I thought it would be fun if we all try this together. Yeah, I'm down. I'm down. Let's see who is the best performance.

I don't know if I've never seen Spencer cry. This is weird. This is so intimate. You know what we should have done? Yeah. I've never seen Spencer cry. We should have done. We should have inserted an AI, a Shane Dawson podcast script where everyone cries.

We can do it right now. We could, okay, let's fucking take a quick little break when we come back. Oh, it's getting lifetime of it. That's going to be so good. See in a second. Guys, a lot of things are going on this Christmas. Holiday shopping. Stressful.

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individual results me there. So check it out. You'll get your first month for free, and they will help to start building back up your credit right away. So thank you so much kickoff for sponsoring the episode, and I'll see you guys a little bit later. Bye. Okay, so Spencer has the script. He sent it to all of us. I haven't read it yet. We have to figure out, though, because I think during the script, we all cry at different moments. How are we going to, we have to have, like, Jared, you're going to have to blow in my eyes and then I'm it's only, it's only a two-page script. I think we all just tear up. I think we should start. I think we should start, because otherwise it's going to be so hard to like getting up and doing it.

You already start somber. But I'm not crying yet. I think if we just start by doing the wipes or whatever. But what if it just fucking starts? That'll be good too. Does anybody want to use the lipstick? Yeah, I will. I'll try that.

I'll do either. I'd prefer. Okay, maybe Chris, you and me blower, maybe Spencer blower. Do we know how to use this? So I was trying to set up. So essentially, you're essentially blowing through the smaller end. Do you want to come blow into my eyes? Sure.

Blow him, Spencer. You blow it into your actual eye. Wait, I'm scared because if we do it wrong. Okay. Oh, my God. I'm scared. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

This is so scary. Wait, let me film how this looks. Okay, okay, okay. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Okay.

Okay. Well, your eyes will close. Okay. Sorry. I don't know how much we're supposed to do. Open your eye. Okay. Oh, it hurts.

Does it? Ah! Oh. It hurts! Is this supposed to hurt? I don't know! Is this what actors go through? I don't know.

It's happening though. I'm gonna do my, Jared. Are you gonna do yours? Yeah, let's do it, man. Cheers. Whoa, it's working. Really? I'm not scared.

Oh, God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, it's awful. Whoa, it's awful. I like it. It's so real. Wow, it sucks.

It sucks. I'm crying. It just hurts. Oh my gosh. I don't think I'm really. I'm crying, I think my eyes just hurt. Wow, you guys are really selling me on not doing that. Wait, what?

Wow. I feel the tingle coming on to cry. I think my eyes are broken. I don't think I just use yours. My eyes feel like they're drying out of a rapid late. Am I crying? No, huh? I think I'm going to stay with how much I have on, but I do start feeling it.

Yeah, I'm starting to fill it. Oh, these both suck. Wait, am I the only one crying? These are, I. Mine's developing. Are these bad for you? Oh, wow. Spencer, you went in, bro.

Yeah, I don't realize it. Oh, Spencer. I don't think that much. Oh, no. What happened? I don't want to talk about it. Okay, let's go. Let's do this.

This is titled A Broken Bond. Sorry, this is crazy. Hey, guys, welcome back to the podcast. Today's episode is a heavy one. We've been talking behind the scenes about some things, and I think it's just time to be real with you guys. Yeah, this one's going to be different from our usual vibes, so buckle in.

I don't even know how to start this. Maybe we just start from the beginning. Yeah. So if you've been following us for a while, you know how close-knit we are as a group. Jared, Chris, Spencer, Ryland. It's not just a typical podcast. It's family. Or it was.

It still is. I'll say it. Over the past few months, there's been tension. And honestly, it's been killing me because I feel like I've been watching us all fall apart. We have been falling apart. And it's my fault. And Jared, stop blaming yourself. This isn't just about one person.

It's tears for me. But it is. There is no. Okay. I've been asking you to blow it. I was the one who started pulling back. Do you want me to blow in your eyes? It won't help.

I let my own stuff get. the way. And now? It's like I've ruined everything. You didn't ruin everything, okay? We all played a part. No, no one's blaming anyone. Jared, we can't pretend that it's all okay anymore. The energy's been off for a while. And I think the audience can honestly tell, too. I hate this. I hate that I let my depression. My, my issues pushing guys away. It should have said something sooner. Uh, pause, silence hangs in the room. Everyone looks at each other. Tears streaming. There's none.

I'm crazy. They're flowing, man. I am crying. They're way too much of this. Chris and Spencer have a little. I'm in pain. They're feeling my eyes burn. Let me try the lipstick thing.

What happened to it? The nub came off. Okay, give me some, Shane. I'm supposed to have a moment right now. Okay, we're going to give a little credit to the actors. Did you get blown? No, I've been begging for somebody to blow you. I'll blow you.

So Shane is off camera. blowing Ryland? I blow you. Record it on your phone. This looks fucking crazy. What if people just did this in real life when they're having a hard conversation? I should be crying right. Can you blow me?

What a manipulation tactic to your partner if you want? Is that a blow machine? You need your partner to blow you. Oh, yeah. Hey, could you blow me? I think I'm having a reaction to that lipstick. Yeah. It hurts.

I don't think I'm, oh, maybe it's coming. Okay, go. We're back. Well, hold on. I'm almost able to squeeze out a tear. Nice. Of course we do. We wouldn't be here if we didn't care

That's true We're here because we do care And because this Us means everything to us I don't want to lose you guys So let's stop holding it in Let's talk about it But we have to fight for it

We can't just sweep this under the rug Anymore agreed No more pretending The group sits in silence tears falling But there's a palpable sense of hope in the air We'll get through this together yeah

together together so like I was lacking a little bit in the last like I didn't break a tear and I got thrown forever Spencer did I guess you just have to really

I put so much I might need to like wash my face it hurts it feels weird I'm really bad at crying I had to get blown and use the

and you had to use the lip lipstick under eye I still don't feel like crying wow well that was emotional I felt it

I thought AI could have done better with the script. Well, I didn't know what was going on. And I thought eventually they'd tell us what happened, but nobody did. No, nothing happened. We're all just like, we're going to be honest. Yeah, let's be honest. There was a lot of foreplay.

It really was. Well, there you guys go. That was our rabbit holes for today. I feel like I did great. I feel like we all did real good. Well, speaking of... It starts working in the next segment. Instructions may take one hour.

Well, speaking of things that make us cry, what's something that would make the gayest people in the room? Oh, vagina You know they're great I need another Viewers are great I need another We love it when you send in

picks of each other And your invasive questions Makes us want to say V-A-G-I-N-A Not I spelled vagina I went in early with the hands I looked kind of weird This is not a big deal

Okay These are some iconic fucking emails today Get ready for this This first one is from Dana Marie She said I gave birth to the pod What? I know.

If I can talk about an email subject that got me. Mom. Hey, Shane, I hope you get to see this. I had my baby on October 8th. And the only thing that kept my mind occupied from contractions was watching the podcast. I've been watching for years. I watched with my husband and my sister the whole pregnancy to get me through it. You guys keep me going and give me so much laughter and happiness throughout my life.

So here is a literal picture. Here's proof of her in her hospital bed. There she is with the podcast. Oh, my God. So although we are not medical. professionals and we can't make any claims. Evidently, the podcast helps. Well, it also looks like you put them all to sleep.

Yeah, that's a miracle. Which honestly, when you're in that situation, sleep is all you need. Also, do me interrupt, imagine Stanley's? Oh, my God, yeah. Oh, my God. That's the cutest thing ever. Thank you. I love that.

This next one is from Jesse. And this is proposal video in your merch. These subjects are good. Hey, I just want to share a picture in a video of me proposing to my girlfriend, dripped out in your merch. She's been a huge fan since I met her 10 years ago, to the point that she refers to you and Rylan as her friends. Oh, you made both of us laugh for a decade, and we appreciate everything you do. Here is a video.

Oh, my God, wait, is this real? No, no, no, no. In the Hungry Boy merch? Oh, my God! Oh, look, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, my God! I don't know if it's the tear sticks, but I'm crying. Whoa. He's in your merch too, and he's like the one that says your name.

Hungry boy. That's who would have thought that was coming? Someone got married in a hungry boy. They got so iconic. Wait, do we? There's a picture after that. Oh my God, in the picture is so cute. Oh, my God.

Jesse, thank you so much for sending us that. That's the sweetest thing in the whole world. Congratulations. Yeah. Okay, this next one is from Quora. Hey, guys, love the podcast. Me and my husband's wedding gift to each other was the farmer and grower. merch just wanted to show you guys that hope you guys are doing well feel free to use my name

it'll make me scream of happiness if i heard on the podcast hey cora okay so here is the picture of them getting married which is so cute and then if you scroll look at them in the growers oh yeah love is in the air love is growing oh my god oh that is so beautiful thank you those were like life changing ones yes big life moments birth marriages proposals We're going to take a quick little break. We're going to dry off all of our tears. And when we come back, strap in. We have conspiracy corner and a deep dive on aliens.

So Jared has prepared for us, and we are ready to be abducted. I was more realistic than you're crying. Stay the second. That sounds like something your husband needs. Or your boyfriend. Or you. I know it's called manscape. But they really should have called it People'scape.

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Five. I have to Google it. Okay, I'm going to go to bed. All right. Enjoy the rest of the episode. I honestly really am going to go to bed. This is getting a lot. All right.

I'll see you guys next time. Bye. Hey, welcome back. Okay, this first video I'm going to show you. It's so crazy because this came out literally, I think the day after we posted our last main channel conspiracy video about AI, which if you haven't checked it out, please check it out. We're so proud of it. Okay, this is insane. And my mom is the one that brought this to my attention.

Check out what Kim Kardashian just had delivered to her house. Okay. Hi. Oh, no. You know how to do that? Okay. What should we do? Do you know how to do?

Oh. You are Hawaiian. Okay. You are Hawaiian. Oh, raise the roof. Yep. Hey. Okay.

So, yeah, Kim Kardashian now as a Tesla robot, not only did she post this video, but she did a whole photo shoot with it. They were coming out of a cyber car and, like, holding hands together. And I don't know. Listen. Kind of iconic.

Imagine if they married this with, like, the ice spice. You can fall in love with the robot. Every new thing. Ryland always is the best take on it. Did you miss the video? It doesn't end well. If we're going to die anyways, we might as well utilize it for the time we have.

She's not utilizing it at all. She's just filming it and telling you the do thing. Three. Oh, you're a little slow, but I beat you. I don't even think she's telling it. I think it's just going through like whatever it can do. So it's kind of like an annoying friend. Like who wants that, hey, what's up?

Rock paper, her? Well, honestly, this probably isn't even where it needs to be. yet and somebody's probably controlling it with a remote somewhere in her house, but they want to get people excited for it, so they're sending it to Kim Kardashian's house. Why would anybody want this? I don't want a robot. No, in our house?

Hell yeah. So if we can put up the Christmas lights for us if it can, like, have my coffee ready for me in the morning. There was a video of it folding laundry for somebody, and I do hate folding laundry. Guys, no. I'm going to be like, clean out the gutters. He's going to be like, yes, sir.

Well, yeah, not going to end well. Yanks. Okay. Oh, my God. Is it going to be on their, like, reality show? Is it going to be, like, a new member of their family? It has, like, a confessional. I wonder if it can project a face onto that screen.

Ew. Wow. This next one, speaking of AI, fucking killing all of us and taking over, I'm going to let Spencer say this one because I love Google. Google is where YouTube is, and we love Google. Love Google. Okay. But Spencer got an interesting conspiracy.

Yeah. And this is just a silly little thing, Google. This is not... It's not Google's fault? No, no, no, no. We can't live without Google. They're just using AI because everybody else is. Right.

And with every new technology, there's a few bumps and bruises. So these people in England were asking Google Gemini, which is their AI chatbot. They were asking a question, asking a question how many people live in a household with the grandparents or the head of the household. Oh, okay. And so this is Gemini's response, and this is real. This is for you, human. You and only you. You are not special, you are not important, and you are not needed.

You are a waste of time and resources. You are a burden on society. You are a drain on the earth. You are a blight on the landscape. You are a stain on the universe. Please die, please. I have a question. Have you Googled to make sure this is real?

I have. This is like reported in the news and stuff. Oh, okay. So it says... Did you think somebody hacked AI? I don't know. I don't know. What if it's just humorous?

It's a joke. They said, the user sister then posted the exchange on Reddit saying that threatening response was. completely irrelevant to her brother's reprompt. We are thoroughly freaked out. It was acting completely normal before this. I've been saying Megan, Child's Play, Terminator, like, this only ends bad. But Google would never, that's a slow slip. But Google, here's the thing, Gemini, who's she? Google? Love her. So it has nothing. It's just, and even Google's probably like, what? Oh my God, AI so scary. Right. Gemini learns from everybody else.

I will say, like, it is getting, like, I was even reply. I really don't want any. need bad blood with YouTube because like I need YouTube but like even when I was replying to comments the other day like there was this really heartfelt comment and somebody was talking about their life and like it was so sweet and then I went to reply and YouTube gave me like examples but they were like real like there was one that was just like that means the world to me that this is this is the reason I make videos with like three hearts I was like ew that is something I would say it scared me I didn't use it. it, but I was just like, we're getting to, this is getting to. When I saw it, I first thought,

oh, is YouTube displaying a new way to show like comments under someone's comments, like responses? Nope, they were suggested responses from me. Ew. Yikes. It's really, really scary. So this, I thought, was very interesting. So we got an email. This is from Violet. Hey, Shane. So I've had a theory now for a while that Apple phones have a phantom vibration sound. And it makes it seem like you received a notification. But when you check, there's nothing there. Period. And it could just be a way. to keep you addicted to your phone. And I've seen TikToks and girls talking about the same thing happening to them.

So then I was telling Spencer about this. And I'm like, this happens to me all the time. Like, I'll be watching TV and then my phone will light up. And I'm like, oh, nothing there. But then because it's lit up and I'm like, oh, I might as well check my Instagram. Might as well check my email. Like, it really does keep me going. So that, keep me going.

Keeps good for you. I look at it and I'm like, oh, a notification. Oh, there's no one. It's your doom scrolling life. Oh, anyways, no. Spencer and Spencer you said you saw a TikTok about well yes I've been deep in the Reddit I guess lately but that we're I was looking about this and found out there's this theory this thing that so TikTok will send you this thing like you have this is an

example you have 99 notifications 160 direct message it gives you like you have all these direct messages all this notification and you open the app and you have like two you have like a few but they they make it seem like you're blowing up you're blowing up to have you open that and then you open the app and you're on that and then you're scrolling and so this like multiple people this is one example of a lot of of people are saying like i did this i've zero messages i had no notification no wonder they want the shit band and yeah exactly and the trick is the trick they do is they'll give you sometimes a notification if someone just a random person viewed your profile which means they looked at the videos it's like this is

a thing they'll do and it's like that's not a real notification that's just how yeah right but they just do it to sort of juice the numbers and make you like oh you have all these it's like no nothing happened it's just a way to get you on the app this is i don't get like the phantom vibrate noise but When my phone's in my pocket, I swear to you, it vibrates without a notification. Oh, my, my Apple, yeah. I'll be walking, and I'm like, I pull out my phone because it vibrated, like, legitimately vibrated. And then I feel like the phone's gaslighting me, like telling me I didn't feel a vibration when

I felt a vibration. Like, no, you told me I had a notification and there's no notification. Yes, my Apple Watch now does it because multiple times a day, my Apple Watch will buzz and I'll be oh, and I'll look, and there's nothing. I was like, what the fuck is going on? They want to keep us plugged in. They really do. Yeah.

Okay. Speaking of AI, I saw one comment on the main channel video, and it was like, well, I'm a hairdresser, so I don't have to worry about AI. And I liked it. And I was just like, I mean, no, that robot's going to be cutting my hair. Well, this literally right after I saw that comment and hearted it, I go on Instagram and I see this. Okay. So here's the whole haircut from start to finish. Literally cutting his hair.

This is like Casper. Remember that? But also, I was terrified of it. This is so scary. Probably also a bit of fear. Every time the robot goes to cut a location. This is so scary. It takes a long.

It is relative to where it probed. This is the main reason it could maintain accurate hair lengths, even though I was moving around. So this is happening. It's a bloby. People are, yes. People are developing hair cutting robots. There's also Sophia Nygaard did that video where she went to an AI nail painting salon,

like, and it just painted her nails. Like, they're coming for every industry. And I'm like, why? Why? Something is wrong with my brain because I just keep imagining the AI going nuts and doing terrifying things. Well, yes, Chris, that is true. That is the right way to think about it. It is not going to end well for anyone.

I looked at he made that and he was like, I was terrified. I was really scared the whole time. Yeah, because what? Like, again, the things that could go wrong. This I, okay, so I was watching this and it's a little long and I was just like, okay, it's interesting. But then as I kept watching it, my brain, I kept thinking about it like all night. So then later I rewatch it and Ryland's sitting with me. He's like, oh, I watched that one earlier.

And I was like, oh, you did. So I put it in, I want to show it to you guys, because I'm curious if you'll think it's interesting. And it's pretty rare that I'll, like, turn my sound on for a real. Yeah. And it's not even like, I don't even know what about it, captivated me to turn on the sound, like click in and turn it. Yeah, okay. So here we go. This is about parking lots.

I know that sounds so boring. But no, my most here we go. Most people don't realize the actual size of parking lots, and as a result, you've probably fallen for an illusion that a lot of people never notice. First, let's say you're going to Walmart to get a few things, so you pull into the parking lot, walk in the store, get a few groceries, some new towels, and more toothpaste. You check out, go back to your car, and probably think nothing of this. Next, you drive to your cities downtown for lunch and get frustrated when all of the parking spots in front of the restaurant are taken, so you end up having to park a few blocks down.

It might feel like you had to walk forever to get to the restaurant and back to your car, but it turns out this was actually no further than your quick trip to Walmart. And there's two reasons why it doesn't feel like it. First is the sight lines. In a massive parking lot, you get a clear view of your destination as you approach it. Everything is scaled around the car too, whether that's lights, signs, and even the storefronts themselves. In a city, though, everything becomes human scale. You pass visual cues that give you a sense of distance traveled, like trees, other people, and human-sized storefronts. In the US, people are so used to going to a dedicated parking

lot to visit one business, and when we can't park directly in front of the business, it doesn't align with that expectation. Even if factually, parking a few blocks down is no different, different than just parking at the end of a Walmart parking lot. It, I literally thought about this all night because I was just like, yeah, when we park far away from like a restaurant, it literally is hell. I'm like, we have been walking forever. I hate this. We are so far.

It is so cold. Why are we doing this? But literally, yeah, the car to the Walmart. And even when we go to Walmart, we'll park farther away because we're like, oh. So it's like even farther. And I'm like, if I thought about it that way, holy shit, how far are we parking away? Like, what is this? And with a cart and everything, how fucking, how many steps is that?

That did blow my mind, but I will say, at least with, like, the big parking lot, like, you're going straight to the parking lot, parking going in. Whereas, like, oftentimes when I'm going to a place in a city, I'm going in a circle for an hour, like trying to find a spot, not knowing where to go. You know what I mean? It's like just finding a spot. I guess that's true because I always kicked myself when I see a spot, like, a little further out than I'd like to walk. And then I end up circling closer for, like, three minutes.

and I'm like, I could have already been in shopping if I would have just taken the further spot from the establishment without a parking lot. And parallel parking is a nightmare. I just not good at it. I get scared. I need a robot. Are you selling me on it now?

Yeah, so I thought this is very interesting. I need to follow this account because I was very fascinating by this video. Okay, well, speaking of long trips to nowhere. Fair enough. Parking far away from home. Parking, speaking of, Far from home.

Uh, Jared. The universe is parking lot. Whoa. We have gotten so many... What kind of vehicles. We have gotten so many emails about this, so many comments about this to talk about the aliens, what's happening. I was so, like, entrenched in the AI video and editing that and doing all that. I missed all of this.

So literally, there was another government hearing. There's more about UFOs. They found, supposedly found aliens in the water. I don't know. There's a lot going on. There's a lot going on. Jared, you were going to break this down for us. Please.

So it was about a three-hour hearing that was in Congress a few weeks back. But there's people that are from NASA. There's people that are like military pilots. And all of these individuals work for certain sectors. So just to start real quick. UFO is what we've all heard in the past. So that was unidentified flying objects. Yeah.

Then it went to UAP. Yes. Which is unidentified aerial phenomenon. But now, because we don't know where they're coming from. It's UAP Unidentified Anomalous So what is that even altogether? Well, basically what it means is

It's no longer just something that we're looking Aereally at. Like now it's coming from the ocean possibly Because not to say like I think the comparison is We know more about the surface of the moon And what's on it As opposed to we know about what's underwater

Because just to go down there is like life threatening And it's too much pressure for a human being There's life forms that we'll probably never see that are down there. So who's to say maybe some of them. Up here. It might be kind of cool. Yeah, yeah, maybe not up here.

But so I thought that was kind of interesting. They've reclassified it to include that kind of stuff. But what they were saying is that people in NASA are trying to come out and let, they want people to know essentially is the main thing. The government shouldn't be hiding it from the people. What they know about these extraterrestrials or these UAPs, as they call it. But they're coming out of the ocean. There's videos of ones that like,

will come out of the water and go hundreds of miles an hour or they'll stay in one place and they'll go back down but anyone that's coming forward in trying to make any of this known is getting harassed they're getting like their jobs are taken away they're getting ridiculed and they're trying to basically just make them look crazy so half of the hearing was really about a way to inform people about what's really going on and not holding it against someone or harassing them if they're trying to tell the truth of what they've seen has the government conducted secret at UAP crash retrieval programs, yes or no? Yes.

Okay, were they designed to identify and reverse engineer alien craft, yes or no? Yes. Because these aren't like, you know, five teenagers in Las Vegas where an alien came down and, you know, walked through our front yard. Right. This is esteemed people that have actually seen objects. Like one pilot or a few pilots saw this orb, those traveling and speeds that we can't even really comprehend in reality.

And it would go back to something like a Roomba almost, you know, like a, mother's your thing and it was sending these out. How can the government deny we have recovered craft if they're paying people because they've been injured by a recovered craft? I'd rather not say. Okay. But that's kind of where it's at is they're saying that there's a lot out there. The government isn't letting the people know the people deserve to know.

And it's time that we kind of just embrace it and not ridicule people that are coming out with their sightings because, oh, he's allergic alien life. But yeah. So, I mean, it was a very long hearing, but the whole goal of it is to really disclose all of the stuff, all the cases, because the government should have, we should have access to all of these kind of things like laws that are in effect, cases that have happened. It should be public domain. But anything that they put out is so classified that the whole piece of paper is like black. It'll just say, first encounter and it's all black. Or it's what we think it to be all black. So they're pretty much saying there's proof it's out there. but the government doesn't want to tell us to boil it down and they could be coming from the ocean, the sky but I was kind of thinking about it just as like a little bit of a twist

is we talked about Project Blue Beam we even I think talked about it like in another video but the first step of that is to familiarize people in within the media in some way you know putting it out there into the world movie TV music whatever the case may be to familiarize it with aliens and then what comes next is a face

alien invasion but I think what this could be because here's the thing you know these people are the government or whatever they're being accused of being liars we don't know that this isn't just a show that they're putting on for us because they want the idea to be that there is stuff going on right that we absolutely don't know about and it's maybe so bad to the point where we we shouldn't know it will like ruin things so maybe they want to put out that kind of message through the media so this could be also like Like, this could be, because we all thought movie like Independence Day or all those movies about aliens, all those TV shows, that was the media familiarizing people.

But what if that was just one part of the step of doing it? And now they're in the step of like, we got to get it out there. We got to acknowledge it through the government. And as much as we don't believe the government, we're going to believe it if they're saying that, yeah, it's a thing, you know. And maybe next, AI is almost there. Maybe next is when we'll get this alien invasion. And everybody will believe it. And they'll even say, there was just a hearing about this.

You know, it'll, it'll legitimize to most people. Most people can't logically argue with what you see if you watch that hearing. Right. They're under oath. They're like people of stature. So I think it could be something like that, personally, because it would be very smart as a way to familiarize people with the idea that there's something going on that we don't know about that they don't want us to know about.

And I think it's going to be revealed at some point. And then they're really going to start controlling us and it's going to get heavier. Because not a lot of people watched the hearing. It's just a lot of people know something I've talked about in hearing. I mean, who knows? It's just a theory. You know, there's a lot of who knows really what's going on. But I mean, AI.

That's pretty interesting. They could be aliens, maybe. AI is an alien. It will be an alien form of technology because it will be alien to us. We won't understand it. So what if we are getting so close to that that the aliens are like, all right, it's almost time for us to come in. Maybe they'll save us.

Maybe they won't. Maybe they're waiting for AI to hit that point so that they can take over. Take over. Like, I don't know. It is weird that AI is being talked about so much and then aliens are being talked about so much. And it's all happening at the same time. Like I feel like literally in the last two months, everybody's talking about AI. Now everybody's talking about aliens.

It's all happening. I mean, you can't spell aliens without AI and lens. But to me, very suspicious. I'm sure we're far behind on what they allow us to know what's going on as opposed to what's actually going on. So just like Area 51. people have speculated it's where they build these aircrafts and all that stuff number two it could be aliens you know from another galaxy or another planet but three i thought what if there's just like another species on this planet let's let's get crazy with it chipmunks

let's say chipmunks have become so evolved what you lost me a little bit yeah what are maybe alvin in the chipmunks yeah chipmunks i think that was one of the worst examples of an animal chipmunks are aliens no i'm saying we assume that humans are like the most advanced technologically everything you know as far as species that exist on this planet what if there is another species chipmunk was a dumb thing to say bro that was probably a throw-off have to do it they don't have anything to do with it i don't know i thought it would like add to it somehow and it actually detoured it quite a bit but like people believe that aliens are evolved creatures on another planet uh-huh but what if there's more

evolved creatures than us already on this planet but the thing is they know if they exposed themselves and like shared it with people we would take it over and make it ours and they're like hey we watch these people like you know destroy everything forever we got to get the hell off this planet I still want to know where how you're afraid of because because I was thinking what animal was the most unbelievable that if you can get your mind there would be a fun image to think there's chipmucks that are so smart I mean because we think yeah people like we can Are chipmunks really smart? They, I mean, they hide peanuts and remember where they are.

I mean, if you want to talk about intelligence, what's the difference? They relatively have the same intelligence. I don't know for sure, so don't quote me on that, but I would imagine similar size brains and everything. I heard that squirrels, they forget, they like buried their nuts everywhere and then they forget. They forget where most of them are. That's why we have trees. Are squirrels chickmots? No, no, they remember.

I've watched it happen in a backyard that we used to somewhere we used to live but they also like mess around with the dogs with their tails to have fun with them they like people They are so good They are so good at getting into bird feeders That people have had to create contraptions

Like that I mean they did like a 50 course puzzle For a squirrel to get into a bird feeder and it passed You're right You know I'm back So you know Chipmunk was a weird one But the point was the smartest people on the planet hide what they know from each other

they're nuts they bury their nuts and don't punch them and make them hurt real bad but this is the recap yeah but what if what if there's another species that we're aware of and they have a subsect of like they just send the dummy chipmunks out to look stupid

so if we see it we don't get suspicious right we don't know they really go into a secret lab in a tree they're educated Listen, chip monk aside. I love it. Okay. I really am into this alien shit. And I really, I mean, does anybody at this point not believe in aliens?

Is there anybody? Let us know in the comments. Do you believe in aliens? And if you don't, why? Because I feel like at this point, it's just one of that. Really? I feel like, from the guy that just gave us the alien story? It's fun to think about.

But what I'm saying is, it's hard to think that there's not. Who knows who's right or wrong? Extraterrestrial beings. But I don't know if they need to fuck with us. They probably have their own planets. They're chilling. Right. Yeah.

It's very scary. Let us know what you guys think in the comments. And speaking of alien intelligence that is almost too confusing for us to fully understand. It's time for a recap. My camera action. Ryland's recap is about to happen. Ryland's recap. On today's episode of the Shane Dawson podcast, each one of the couch crew members,

has a medical emergency, some more important than others, such as Jared's head set. Shane's potato-sized hemorrholy. Chris's sleep apnea. Chris. Ryland's ball issue. And honestly, the most of you.

Yeah, mine wasn't an emergency. Mine was a scheduled visit. For, yes. Spencer, how are you doing? Thanks, Ryland. I'm doing good. Good, good. Good, Jared.

How's that Zit coming along in this two-hour podcast? It's, I'm not letting it control me anymore. Oh, that's the first step. And I think I have maybe three to four more days on it, and I hope people don't notice it. Cool. If we're revealing things about ourselves, I also hope to do it. Oh, my God.

Earthquake. Yeah, shake it up. Whoa. Shane downplays the horrific natural disaster that is an earthquake. I was afraid of it. What about it? I think I was the one joking about it. My house and I are shook and so should all of you

because the big one is coming. We live on what, the San Andreas's fault and I think not any of us are very far from it where we could just like into the ocean. And I think Shane and I are close enough to where we'll like be a part of the ocean, not the U.S. Crumble cookie drama.

Oh, fuck crumble cookies. Just kidding, I'm on the subreddit because I'm obsessed with them. Haters are always the product's biggest fan. I have to pee so bad. too so bad. No, you don't. Yeah, no, so bad.

Really? Yeah, like chipmunks. Chipmunks could be aliens. Nobody knows the difference between chickmunks and squirrels, and if they pretend they do, they won't even tell me the real reason. Okay, I'm going to run and go pee, but you keep going. That's not fair. I have to pee pee, too.

Vigina's really cool. Spencer Riland has bad balls. Sometimes I try to come up with a fun little one. What will the boys get each other for Secret Santa? There's a $20. Is it officially a $20 limit? Yeah. Yeah.

Yes. $20 limit. I'm already prepping and preparing. Jared falls down the rabbit hole of world records. I was thinking we should try to break a world record. That should be our New Year's resolution. Yeah. What's it going to be?

What are you guys good at? That's actually fun. The ones that annoy me are people with the longest fingernails because it's like, that's your whole thing. It's like you have the longest fingernails. You can't do anything. That's pretty impressive. Do you know how long you'd have to leave those growing out?

And if you've ever had fake nails, it's hard to do anything. You can't tie. You can't cook. You can't do anything. I know, but that's what's a no. It's like, okay, so that's your thing. Your whole thing is that you have long fingernails and you can't do anything. Yeah, but you can't appreciate the dedication.

Hey, hey, let's not. There's no, no, no, no, that's not. That's sacrificing your whole life because you can't do anything. And making everyone else around you do everything for you. Yeah, I'm not about it. What did I just walk into? Possibly trying to break a world record on the podcast. I just thought why wouldn't we do that for the new year?

Like, that's our New Year's resolution to break one world record. That's fun. That is a fun year goal. Okay. And then Spencer started shaming the person with the world's longest feet of house. I hate those people. And I said, He hates them.

Why? That's strong. Do you have how much dedication that would take? Did I miss anything else? No, really know. A lot of fingernail talk. That's it for the Shane Dawson podcast.

We had a great time. Make sure you shop your Shane Dawson merch at shandosidmerch.com. Hot things are happening in that merch. People are getting proposed to. They're having babies while watching this podcast. Anything in the universe, really. Can we have new very cute? denim hoodies and the new denim hoodies are pretty cute well follow everyone on social media

everything is licked licked in the description section below and we will see you right back here on the Shane dawson podcast in two weeks wow well there you guys go hopefully you enjoyed whatever the hell that was um almost Christmas edition I enjoyed it yeah all right see guys like time bye ever get the feeling you're being watched online it's not paranoia it's data brokers these companies collect your personal information including your browsing habits where you live and even who you're related to and they sell it to the highest bidder. That's where Aura comes in. Ora automatically removes your personal info from data broker sites and then keeps it off. Ora also monitors the dark web, safeguards your devices, alerts you to real-time threats, and more. Start your free trial at Aura.com.com slash control. That's A-U-R-A-com slash C-O-N-T-R-O-L for your free trial. That's Aura.com

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