The Shane Dawson Podcast - Celebrity Conspiracy Theories 2023! ILLUMINATI EXPOSED!!!!!

Episode Date: March 6, 2023

In this episode Shane and the guys do something VERY risky… they discuss THE ILLUMINATI! Wish them luck! They also try some of the BEST pizza of all time and are joined by a very special GUEST! Throw in some Fights with Shane & Ryland and some New ICKS Unlocked and you got yourself a fun time on the couch!!!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is them right before the show came out. No, it's not. Stop it. That is so good. Honestly a good con. Is that crazy? That is. Everything's a lot.

Dude, shout out to all the real one to let you know when there's boogers in your nose. Yes. Add it to your ick list, Shane. Buggers? It's going to be a long list. I can't even watch the TLC channel when I eat. There are certain shows. I cannot watch while I'm eating.

And I can't explain why. Pimple Popper? Well, that's obvious. I don't think I can ever watch Pimple Popper. Yeah, but, dude, TOC is full of landmines. At any second, they're going to hit you with some shit that can make your stomach hurt if you have a sensitive stomach. Although, shout out 1,000 pounds sisters, because they were using my palate. What?

Oh, dude. Hi, welcome back to whatever the hell this is. Gross edition. I don't know. I guess we're just starting off really gross, which kind of fits in line with my topics today. That's actually kind of a thing that is talked about that every time our family, is if the dinner table, poop comes up. Gross shit just gets talked about.

It's natural, you know? Very true. No, Shane is not a part of your family because he is the most sensitive girlie when it comes to any kind of food being consumed. He gets so upset at my family every time we're eating. I need to stop doing the zoning out thing because now I can't stop.

It's dangerous. That's why I said, man, you got to use it wisely. Be responsible with it, you know? You look really pretty today. Thank you for calling me pretty. You dress me. Okay, yes. need to talk about our outfits today because I really tried like I've been trying to be

stylist I even have like okay I'm not that I've been on many sets not like Chris but you've been on so many more than me but the like wardrobe girl the stylist like she always is like okay you got your look okay great let me get a picture so I've been doing that because I found this camera from like 10 years ago and I've just been taking pictures like very Y2K of us It's a really good camera, too. It has like the auto face blurring, so everyone looks 10 years younger and Photoshopped. So yeah, if you want to check out these pictures, go to our Shane Dawson podcast, Instagram. Your own on-sent photographer?

Yes, because I'm proud. Like, listen, we redid the beauty room and now it's the podcast wardrobe room. And I mean, we have clothing racks. We have like everything laid out all cute. Anyway, so yes, we have all the wardrobe. And I've been like, today I picked out all of our clothes specifically to match. So for me, I have this little bear jacket thing, kind of stupid fucking loser, fucking cartoon, cuck. And then for Jared...

Are you allowed to say that word? It's not a bad word. What does it mean? There's one that's similar to that that's like... A cuck is a contemptuous turn for a man with moderate or progressive political views. Or a man whose wife is sexually unfaithful. A cuckold. That's me.

Oh, please. Thanks for clarifying, Chris. Yeah, I thought it was, yeah, like a big pussy, like a big fat pussy. I thought it was just dudes that like to watch their wives get fucked. Yes, that too. Right? Pretty much in layman's terms. I mean, I know I didn't use a bunch of big words, but that's what it is, right?

Yeah, I'm shocked. I didn't know that was something anyone would enjoy it. I didn't know either. I'll show you some stuff. Wait, there's a fetish of husbands wanting to get their wife, watch their wives get fucked. Yes, and the wife, it's usually like an older woman with long hair and like a necklace. And she's like laying down and she's screaming, Oh my God

And her husband's in the corner And she's like, you could never do this Why couldn't? Okay Just a suggestion Couldn't the husband just tape The two of them having sex And then get off to watching him having sex with his wife It's about watching somebody else be better than him

Yes Yes I saw video as a straight couple And the guy was sucking another guy And the wife was masturbating to it What's that? A fucking gay Damn, I zone down

What was it? You don't outbrain that? Dude, that was like a real quick one. I don't even... Let us know in the comments. Are any of you cucks, or is your husband a cuck? What? You told us if they're growers, let us know if they're cucks.

Send, oh my God, this perfect segue, we have a voicemail. So I set up a phone number. We'll get back to our war joke. Never. I set up a voicemail. So if you call 747-263-25-1-2, leave a message under 30 seconds preferably, and we'll play it on the show. whether you need advice or your husband's a cuck and you want to talk about let us know it i'm sure there's a whole community to find it like a very positive thing i would i'm stuck on this cuck thing

i just can't imagine yours to cuck why wouldn't you just have a open relationship or threesomes i just don't understand not jumping in on it because i think it's a very i don't want to judge i'm not trying to judge i'm just thinking like if i wanted to watch somebody fuck you i would think at some point would like to jump in like it would be the four play to watch the person fucking the husband i think there's a lot of psychological layers of onion to peel back on that one i think it's just like very psychological why people want to be a cuck you know what i mean all right i maybe we'll have power the cucks i guess you know fuck it i'm not against it i'm just trying to understand so back to our outfits uh yes jared is wearing a comic book jacket looking very boom boom

pal. I am not a cuck, by the way. I sound almost like so pro cuck. Yeah, this is rad, dude. Like, you really opened me up to wanting to wear dope jackets. Thank you. It's fire. Wow.

Ooh. Somebody's on TikTok. I just use, like, five generation words. Yeah, this is bitching. Yeah, and then to go with the same kind of vibe, Ryan Lund is wearing a cloud sweater. It's 3D. And how does my blue sweater go in with all of your, like, muted tones?

See, this is why I'm a stylist and you're not. When you really look at them all together, there's a theme. It's very like pop art. Okay, so pop art's the theme. The color isn't cohesive because there's like, I'm not tying into anyone here. You know what he looks like, though? You know what that sweater looks like? Remember grandma used to get like the limited edition Macy's sweatshirt drops?

Yes. It looks like something that grandma would have worn or this guy in the Simpsons. No, you know, I love the sweater. It just feels like I'm standing outside of the rest of you. Or maybe I'm just like it. I think yours looks really good, though. Thank you. And also, any time we talked about this, blue in your eyes, I can.

Oh, Chris wants to fuck me in blue. I can. I can. When he wears blue. This is like a cuck thing. Who's fucking who and who's going to watch? I'm watching. I don't want you to see that from that angle.

Chris is wearing a waffle cone chocolate dipped vest. It's very cute. It's delicious. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I just thought of something. I'm so excited. How did I forget?

Oh, and I have a new blink up. Oh, okay. Was that a star? That was a lot of pre-excitement for, okay. Jared, I have a, oh, you got shook. I have a late Christmas gift. I'm so genuinely excited because I think we're going to love it. And it ties into our podcast.

Okay. Okay. Check out your present. Oh, what? 7-Eleven. 7-Eleven. Okay. What's in here?

One of your favorite cheap trick locations. So Crocs just collab with 7-Eleven. No, not sponsor. I don't know about... This is it right here. I just recently got into crocs. I know. And like, I used to almost look at people

in certain way they were crocs. Now I'm like, dude, yeah. I have crox in too. I'm not a crock. I am not a cook. Promise me, you're not going to go toes out in those. Oh, I'll be socking it outdoors for sure. Maybe.

Maybe not, I don't know. Wait, what's wrong with toes out? Not toes out. Like, guys can't do toes out in public. Oh. Unless you're at like a beach, you can have your toes out in like, flip-flops at the beach.

But if you're wearing sandals around... Hold on. You're getting ahead of us because our next topic is going to involve Ix. Okay, I'll bring my Ick up later. Dude, I'm taking my shit off. Oh, wow. Whoa, those are really cool. Come on.

Those are actually so cool. I would wear those. I mean, this is, this means a lot to me. You know? Wow. Are they comfy? I've never worn a crock. Dude, crocs are the best.

That keep hearing that. Okay, but did you get over your public fear of wearing crocs and being judged? I actually, looking back, I think I've worn more embarrassing shoes, you know? Like, I think I used to wear water shoes outside all the time. Oh, I remember. I remember. I remember. I remember.

But I don't know. Now, I'm at the point where I really don't care, you know, so I think they look cool. Because I hate to admit, even like getting a postmate, I would like take my crocs off because I was too embarrassed to be out wearing my crocs. Okay, so I need to bring something up. I'm very excited. We have a surprise today. It's not a surprise because we all know about it. But I have something very exciting planned.

Off the podcast, we were talking about one of my favorite childhood pizza places, Strawha Pizza, which is it's not that many places. I haven't had it in 10 years. I forgot what it tastes like. It's my favorite pizza of all time. And then we were talking about it, and you're like, oh, Chris, Chris Strayla. Well, he has three names. Growing up, Capish is one of the names.

And then Chris, yeah, AKA's right there. And Pizza Boy Fresh. Oh, and Pizza Boy Fresh. So he's one of Jared's friends from childhood Who's also a rapper and also works A Straw Hat and also is bringing us pizza So he's on his way We're gonna have a whole moment with that

But if just Pizza Boy Fresh always delivers You know what I'm saying? But this is a picture that I found From I was 10 This is my 10th birthday party Oh my God dude And if you look over

Here's you like a piece Dang and Carlos He's in the hat Yeah so he's gonna come soon I don't know what's happening here You guys are like Are you guys having a rap battle? I'm like, yo, yeah, yeah. Possibly, dude. Is everyone in Long Beach a rapper,

or is just your circle of people, rappers? There was a lot of us, a lot of us just interested in music, I would say, I guess. But me and Chris were two that like to write music. We have other buddies that would make beats that would master and mix music, but quite a bit of us like hip-hop. Well, I've heard a lot about this man. I'm excited to meet him. He's the best. He was like my, he's like my fourth friend in life. If I think about it, what? If you think about, like, Do you remember your first friend? Like, your first actual friend? Yes.

Like, looking back, I think I only had like two or three friends before I was his friend. Wow. Yeah. He's a very, he's like, you know, chat out to my fifth friend right there. Okay. Okay. I don't know what happened between that and now. Okay.

So, I thought of a segment. I have some, like, serious stuff to talk about, but I feel like, you know what? Let's not ruin the vibe. I'll talk about my depression and therapy later. What? Huh? We just got married. exactly um no so i thought of a new segment uh i forgot what we were doing but we were hanging out

doing something and then you yawned in my face and it wasn't a normal yawn it was a yawn no i know exactly what we were doing we were on the couch and shane was doing his okay there's this myth that if you don't yawn when somebody else does yawns you lack empathy so basically it's a psychopath yawning test try it at home try it with your boyfriends uh and your husband you'll learn a lot So if you yawn, the other person should yawn right after you because that's why they say catching a yawn, because yawning is all based on empathy. So you feel the person's yawn and it makes you yawn. Now, if you yawn in front of somebody and they don't yawn, they're a psychopath. No, I'm just kidding.

But there's a chance that they might be. I don't know. It's really, really. If you were to guess on a scale of 1 to 10 if someone is a psychopath, if they don't yawn when you yawn, you can add a couple points. Yes, exactly. Right? It's on a metric scale. you could say. And the thing is, sometimes I feel like you catch the yawn a couple minutes later.

And Shane was like on a yawning spree. And then when I finally caught his yawn, then I was over-dramatizing it a little bit, just to shove it in his face. And he really started getting the ick. It was horrible. It was like, your yawn was like a, huh. No. And then you go, and then you go, it's making me hefty yon. Oh my God, I hate it. It gives me the ick. And then I was like, oh my God, new ache unlocked. Because I never knew that was one of my icks. And then I was like, I was like, I'm happy. That's a good segment, new Ick unlocked. So, wait, have we done this segment before? Mandela effect. I just remembered like a sound effect of a lock.

I think we've done, did we do this? I don't know. I think I've only done one ick. I don't know if we've had a chance to unlock another one. Oh, interesting. Well, my first new ick unlocked is yawning. So that's my new thing. I hate it.

You're about to do it again. Oh, my God, I hate it. I held it. Chris, do you have any icks that you've unlocked or any new? ix you're in your relationship it's been a little while what's he doing that's pissing you off um i mean this is a pretty common one i've we've all kind of talked about this already how like no one likes boogers and he'll just like dig for gold and he'll just like he'll just like look at it he'll look at it in front of you yeah and he knows i hate it so he'll be like where does he discard of it

um he'll put it in like a napkin throw away wash his hands but in case recap just really quick guys recap here. In case you don't remember in the last episode, Shane basically told us that his biggest ick is bugger. So his reaction is based on that. Chris, continue? Yeah, no, I mean, that's pretty much it. That's a pretty gross thing that he does that I hate. And he knows I hate. And so he continues to do it on purpose. I'm not kidding. And I'm sure he's a very sweet. I would literally break up with him. That is so my ick. That is like, oh my God. I would rather, you like hit me with a car like i would rather anything else um yeah dude boogers just the thought of him grosses me out something i don't understand about Shane though and it can last a good hour like

if we have dinner in front of us and he sees something that just derals him he really can prolong his hunger for a good hour and i'm just not built that way like if something grosses me out i'm like yuck yeah i'm already pissed because the pizza's going to get here and i'm not eating Oh, no. You guys have to eat me out. I do remember when we were younger. I have a sensitive stomach. I do remember you being more sensitive than me.

Oh, yes. Because I'll get over it in maybe 10 to 15 minutes. If I'm on the way to pick up food and I get it and like something is on the way there has grossed me out. By the time I get home, I could almost eat it. You know what I mean? Mine lasts like a day. It's because of the stomach muscles, you know? You got to feel free and it just probably tenses you have because it's so gross.

You know? It's visceral. Word of the day. Jared, you were telling me about an ick that was kind of an ick earlier. But do you have any new... I have a couple of them. One of them is actually kind of a life hack. Ooh.

You know, because in conversation or in text, I always say, like, hey, somebody. Like, if I'm texting Chris, hey, Chris, and then I'll proceed to text whatever I want to text. But if people text me, hey, bud, it's the fucking worst. And I don't know anybody in my life that's ever done that, that it hasn't ended up being a piece of shit or this fuck me over in business.

Real talk. We have so many family members that say, bud. Oh, no, I'm saying maybe to family, it's okay. Or maybe, like, for some people, it could be an isolated incident where it's cool. But, like, I hate it when people call me bud. They've all, you know, I don't like it. Because it's almost degrading a little bit.

No, it's definitely degrading. You know, you can call me dude. But don't call me bud. Or when, like, a waitress calls me, hon. or like a sweetie really the word bud i don't definitely call people bud how like hey but well i always thought it was nice it's a posturing it feels posturing to me like hey little bud no i feel like you've said buddy maybe i just thought bud but bud was short for buddy which i thought was nice i feel like i could see you saying in like a flirting manner to somebody you're like potentially

going to date but other than that i'm with jared this would you're like immediately uh discarded from my life. Oh, no, I'll never use it again. I didn't know. Or when, like, waitresses or whoever call me honey or sweetie, but they're like young. If they're in their 60s or 70s, call me whatever you want, I don't care, but like, don't be 20 years old calling me hunting sweetie. Although, you know. New Yum, no shit. I love when a waitress calls me love. Hey, love. It depends, yeah. I like, I like when they say that. Love's not bad. Yeah. When they call me love, I give them like a 75% tip. I'm not kidding. It's a life bag. No, he's not.

If you're a waitress and you see me, just call me love. There you go. But yeah, I would say, though, like, people calling me that stuff is my ick, and I recommend you don't trust people to call you butt. Just word of advice. Okay. I co-sign. This is kind of like, I don't know if this is an ick or more of just like a preference,

but I, there's one new thing that's also been unlocked because we've been eating more. Nice. I bloated sex, like bloated. What? Bloated sex. Like, if, like, if we eat a big meal and we're like, okay, we should probably, it's been a while. What are you talking about? That is not, I can't do it.

I can't do it anymore. Okay. So that's a ix? So I think what I need to do is before we do something, I need to starve myself. No, I need to not eat. I think that's like a pretty universal tip. Yeah, not being bloated before sex is Mando.

You know, that's a mandatory. See, you would think that. But honestly, like, whenever we go to a nice restaurant, we see people just eating their fucking brains out, and you know they're going to go fuck after. I don't think so. I think they've fucked before. Oh,

or they poop and drink. Oh, yeah, before. Yeah, whenever. Just, I've never had an issue with that. I just have sex whenever.

But do you get bloated like on a serious level at your size? Not really. I have like gird problems where my chest hurts really bad, but. Does he get bloated? I don't, I mean, I don't think it's really. Who doesn't get bloated?

I feel like everyone's blood. If I was a bet, man, I'd say maybe. Because we just, we just all the time and it's never, that's never been nothing. You never get nauseous?

No. ladies not for if you're like dirted up are you still down to ride or what yeah wow you're about it dude I know my ick

what motion sickness on your end wait what it's so annoying that's not an no he needs you know no I could say you're an asshole

if I have a stomach ache so this is no different uh oh here we go again life with Shane and Ryland fight with Shane and Ryland Shane and Ryland because there are motion sickness pills and we don't it's not like we're always

whipping around in a car so it's like if we're going to go in the car just pop a pill or something because he literally will start driving two seconds from the house and he's like and he never recovers from it and I'm like we've got to be able to drive sometime you know what I'm going to be bloated

all week I showed up to blowed up straight up that reminded me we were talking about this earlier This is what inspired the it conversation was you said that you found out something about bloating. Dude, yeah. So basically, I was watching a video and it was about ancient torture.

It just kind of popped up within the algorithm. I forgot I was watching before, but it was like a list video. And it went over different countries and how they would torture people and, you know, earlier times. And in Sweden, the Swedish did something called the Sweden trunk. It's basically, let's say they were taking over a territory or they needed information. from you or something like that. You know, some people might just peel your skin off or do something like

very violent. They would lay you on your back and just force drink you gallons of liquid, whether it be water, it could be urine, it could be sewage, and the whole goal was just to get your stomach as bloated as humanly possible.

And then they would just punch the shit and beat your stomach up until you talk. What's the time? It's like, dude, if I'm bloated to know, and my dog jumps on my stomach it's like game over for the fucking night you know what I mean imagine if you just had like five guys you're all bloated out of your mind punching you it's like I'll tell you whatever it is you know but like but that was actually I ain't no snatch and I'm just but I mean but imagine me and that bloated and then just they would just abuse you until you talked I mean it's probably very effective because now that I think of the sweet that's like the most gentle way of doing it like hey do you just we're just going to make you throw up all over the place and fuck your ribs up but we're not going to hang you or nothing you know this sounds like it's listen i don't know tick to talk but this sounds like a challenge like get your friend bloated as fuck and give him a secret and then just let's see what he says it

right repeat this don't repeat it ever how do you do that but but just just for some okay so that's the swedes hold on wait wait wait we have to take a break because the card's about to run out no um but when we come back jared's going to give us an even probably grosser uh fact and we're getting also eat pizza if we're not too icked out see you soon hey okay welcome to uh this new location they're doing work on our house right now we have a leaky roof i relate so hard to that i don't know what that means leaky basement i know what that means anyways yes we're in a new location this is rylan's podcast shed for his podcast the sip today's episode is not sponsored by the sip but go check it out and also this is not sweat it's raining

outside so that's why there's a lot happen but also nothing happening at all All right, so let's get to the ad. First, I want to thank one of my favorite new sponsors ever, Seekkeek. So I'm really excited that Seekek came back because that means you guys like them. And you use their code and you downloaded their app. And that's really cool. So thank you for doing that. And thank you Seekek for sponsoring this episode.

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Use code grower for $20 off of your first purchase and support them. I'm really excited that we have a new sponsor. Thank you guys. And thank you to see. Geek. Enjoy the rest of the episode. Okay. Torture.

Back to torture. So I was just saying, in, you know, in comparison here in that same video, they talked about what Persia, what they were known for doing, which is called sending them to the boat. So essentially what sending someone to the boat was is they would go out into the wilderness and they would put a canoe down or a boat structure. Okay. And then they would cover you. You would lay in that.

They would cover you with another one with holes just for your arms to hang out and your head to hang out. And then they would pour milk and honey like as much as they could get you to drink all over your face and all over the top of this boat. And the first thing that would start to happen is like insects and bees would start and come and eat the honey off of your face. and then it would dry up and it would just feel real uncomfortable and because your body is going to be releasing extraments and gases it draws in worms and rodents

they like get through the boat and then it basically they eat you from the inside and that's how it goes are you fucking kidding me why are they ruining boats why can't they just use a box I think they call it doing the boat

because it was shaped like a boat but they weren't ruining boats by any means that's not the Persian way they don't just waste boats you know what I'm saying but yeah so that's a very very very big, you know, two sides of the spectrum. I honestly think I'd rather do that.

You think like, they said that that would be like up to like five days of you having to go through this. No, fuck that. No, jump all over my blood, stomach. That almost sounds like something you do on beer factor though, you know, like, hey, drink a gallon of orange juice to get punched by Mike Tyson in the stomach, you know, like. I literally was just like, it's a TikTok job. I'm sure Steve-o's done it. You know what I mean?

Like, it can't be, I just thought it was fun. Like, damn, shout out to the Swedes, man. Shut out. Shout out sweets. Shout of sweets. Well, thank you for that. Of course, man. Definitely not eating your friend's pizza.

So... Okay, so now it's time for our voicemail advice segment. I have a few voicemails picked out here. And they needed our advice on things. So we need to be brutally honest, though. They want brutal honesty. That's what I think. Okay.

So here we go. This is from Cece. Hi, guys. My name's Cece from New York. I was just looking for some advice. Last night, I just went out on a date. out on a date and this guy was amazing 10 out of 10 phenomenal we hit it off it seems too good to be true um and i feel like we've already talked about like marriage and kids names and like talking about

getting married like this year but we just met last night and we're rushing it really hard but it feels right so i just i don't know i need advice that i slow down or so i just it's just it feels natural what's i do get a grip girl wow cc try to yon in front of him. A lot of questions for C.C. You know, but nothing good happens, Quaker. I would say C.C., without, you know, hurting

your feelings, I think he's planning on gutting you and wearing you as a skin check. This was going to be in my possibilities that could be really negative. Here. He could be a psycho. So please avoid him at all cost. Tell him that you're done because anybody that's talking about marriage and kids on the first date is

literally a serial killer. No, it takes two to tango. She was up there talking about marriage with him listen well because he was luring her in no i think i think i no no no no no no c c not my cc i think i think it's fine if you have a really good connection to kind of no listen to romanticize like talking about marriage or kids together but when she lost me is when she said and we were thinking about

executing it in this year that's where you got to fucking halt the breaks girlfriend yeah i mean for sure you know that's I'm saying don't like fully commit to anything. If the sentiment is there, but there's questions I have. Like, how old are you, C.C.? If you're like in your 40s and like this dude's in his 40s and you live in a town in Idaho with 45 people or whatever, like maybe this is it. You know, I don't know. But I mean, I don't know.

Maybe it's one of those beautiful love stories of two people meeting and just instant love. And, you know, maybe I mean. Hold on. I feel like I've offended Chris. What? Because now that I'm thinking about it, are you kind of the person that does this? No. And you're not a serial killer.

But you are very romantic, very fast. I'm extremely romantic, but I do know that, like, I have to keep it in. Like, I know I can't. I understand I can't say things like that right away. I understand. Even if I feel it. He understands the slow burn. Even if I, even if I were to feel something like that very quickly, I know I can't say that,

just like on a rational level, so I'll keep it in. I always, I mean, I am a hopeless romantic, and I always hope for the best in every situation. But I get really nervous about this particular thing because I had a friend who had a very similar situation where she met somebody who very quickly was like, you're the love of my life, I can tell, and like, you're my everything, and was so perfect, and everything seemed so perfect. They love bombed her.

And they got married, and they got married. And then later on, there was, like, a lot of cheating and, like, a lot of, like, just like, this person was using my friend for many, I don't know, to gain the status. Okay, then I feel comfortable saying this, Cece bitch, run.

No. It does. Run. Get the fuck away from him, CC. No, the practical. the fuck away from the skin suit wearing. I do see it being like a 95% to 5% chance. It's either a bad look or a good look. It's a bad look. But hey, get out.

It could be that one story. Yes, no, I agree. The practical advice to C.C. is don't fucking get married, but enjoy the ride. No.

No, don't fucking get yourself legally tied up with this guy. In the back of the trunk. Does he know where she lives? Tide up? No, if you guys are having fun and he's taking your breath away, we can be getting CC in trouble right now.

C. C. call back. And you're having great sex. C, C, C, C, C, C. Just call her. We have her number. I'm with, I'm with Rylan.

Oh, my God, should we call C.C right now? Call C C C C C. Is that crazy? Call C C C. Wait, I'm scared. Call C C C C. Dude, we might be saving a fucking life. Okay, you're right.

We need to get on the same page. She's allowed to have fun with him. And if he keeps presenting as a psychopath, she's got to fucking run. Yeah, she needs, I might proceed with caution, but. Okay, well, I'm doing it. Let her have the experience of being love mom. I mean, I'm doing that. I'm with you, right?

Hit Cici up, dude. We got to save her life. No. I mean, I've never done this point. I feel like I flip-flpped a few times on this bill. Seriously, though. I feel the best about calling Cici and get more. We could not complete your call.

Oh, you try again. Cici denied us. Cici, come on, Cici. Cic, hit us up at the email address in the description below with your number so we can call you next week. Please. And I just want to say people will show you who they are. Listen. That's true.

Yeah, C. I'm trying to save you because what if Cici's with him right now? I just want to say. say, Shane, you're the one screaming murderer when you were the one that saw me in a video before you met me and said out loud that you were going to marry me. I didn't tell you that.

You did a week or two into it. No, I didn't. But you have the thoughts too. I told you about that months later. Okay, months later, but you said I love you. I'm just saying, let them have their thing. This is why you're going to end up dead? I'm married. Unless you're killing me, I'm fine. I feel personally very conflicted right now.

I think until I talk to C.C. I can't inform my complete opinion. I feel pretty confident. I stand by nothing good happens please. Don't get married right away, obviously. Right? That's the thing we don't. All right. Can I move in right away with each other? Can I text her? Hold on. I'm going to say, should I send her a picture? Whatever we could do.

Hey, C.C. call us. Oh, I think you're taking the video. We got to get CC. on the line. We really do. Okay, so let's do one more. Hi, guys. Are you guys autistic? Because I've seen so many autistic signs in you and I think you guys could do good with it and I feel like you guys could make a platform

for autistic people and I feel like there it is up the symptoms one of them being what Shane has miscophobia and then ADHD severe ADHD OCD and anxiety if you most likely have all those two together you're most likely a late diagnosed and because you're a Are we autistic? Shane. I mean, she said we're autistic that proceeded to say like all these other things that I don't know. There's nothing wrong with being autistic though. I'm about it.

I have nothing against or whatever. Like, I'm all for it. But I think we are a platform. Like, I'm not totally pro. Hold on anything. I was, I was not understanding her because I do see. And this, by the way, shout out to all my autistic listeners. Oh, dude.

I love them. Viewers. But, and all of our family members who are also autistic, shout out. But when I. I see this comment a lot. I think we talked about this before. There's a lot of comments on these podcasts that are like, are you guys autistic?

This is autistic. Jared's autistic. What? And you've never seen those? No. There's so many. There are. I searched the word autistic and there was like 200 fucking comments.

Why? What signs are we displaying? Well, she's saying. So I guess OCD, anxiety, misophonia, like the thing of sound that I have. Jared saying things that are just super offensive. And without knowing it. If I was on the spectrum, I wouldn't be. surprised at all. And again, like Jared was saying, I don't think it's a bad thing if we were.

I don't personally, I don't want to offend people that actually are autistic. So I don't think I'm autistic at all, you know? And I think even for you, like when you were young, you had surgery on your ears and had some tubes put in it, I think at one point or so I'm like, there's probably other ways to even explain it. So I don't want to misrepresent anything autistic wise. Well, here's what I will say. Because there's so many comments about us being autistic and because of this voicemail, I'm starting to think we need, A, we need an autistic guest. Been saying it. B, I really

need to get into love on the spectrum because you've been watching that forever and you said it's the best show. It is possibly, yes, one of the best shows ever. Maybe we get somebody from that show. What are the defining trait, like what qualifies you to be autistic? Because I know there's a spectrum, obviously. It's a very

large spectrum too. Yeah, yeah. So there's different levels and it's obviously on a spectrum, and I'm not a mental health or I'm not a doctor, so I don't know. But from what I do know there's some sections of autism is not picking up social cues or not picking up social cues in people's faces like Chris Rock was talking about he has that where he can't tell if somebody's mad or sad or offended because he there's like a thing missing where he figures that out yeah saying things that are not socially acceptable or kind of saying things without thinking about the emotional ramifications of saying it like those are all very so they're just truth tellers that's what Jared was saying was that didn't we talk about this on the podcast before that you think think we should have an autistic president and I kind of agree no yeah for sure because it would be to the point straight up because all because they they they rationalize everything that's being thought about and said to be like calculated is not just I don't know a lot of stuff

is bullshit when you break it down right so just it's just to the point and a lot of people that are autistic just shine in one element they like hyper focus on something and just excel like no other you know what I mean so yeah that's typically the traits that you would see so yes we we We know autistic people. We have people in our family. And shout out if you're autistic or if your husband watching. I just always visualize a woman watching this. If your husband's autistic, shout out.

And honestly, I wouldn't want any of us to say we were had we not been like clinically proven because that's one of my icks is everyone on social media coming out with everything in the world with conviction when I know for a fact they haven't been to a doctor. I'm like, no, bitch, you don't also have everything under the sun. Yeah, that is a lot. Have you seen the Edgar haircut? I have seen that It's basically the dumb and dumber haircut

Jim Carrey's haircut It's like really popular But it's super popping All the kids have it Oh I know exactly what you're talking about Only because of social media Yeah Why do I not know about this?

It's like I don't know It's I look I think it's cool I think it's a great look I just want to throw it out there Shut out to all those rocking the Edgar You're so Gen Z Is there a reason you said that after Are we talked about Altins?

I'm like weird transition every now and then I just I just was thinking about it maybe you are I just you know I don't think I I'd never say anything with the intention of hurting someone's feelings neither do they you know no I know

but some people that are on the spectrum aren't able to really grasp what would impact someone on an emotional level because they don't really feel things on that emotional they can't like relate so they say things without filtering it through is this going to offend somebody possibly you know right what you're looking at me

like I'm not, I think I'm very emotionally aware of people in circumstances. And honestly, I, there's a lot of advantages. I think there'd be a lot of advantages to dating somebody that's autistic. You just have to be aware so that you know how to cope. I just Google, are there like famous people who have autism? And a few of these really surprised me. Some are like very famous directors. Really?

Yeah. Like Tim Burton, I guess is on the spectrum. Yeah, but this is all like to, like what I was saying, people with autism that really find what they're good at and like hyper focused they tend to be real successful so you know can almost be like a super I'm not surprised that there's a lot of very successful people so so it's a compliment Steven Spielberg oh no for sure Stephen Spielberg's autistic to what this list says wow what and the list has to be right I assume that they have their case it says they're on

the spectrum all right I wish there was like some famous fucking genius I had misophonia because I'm sure that was what is that again it's a When Ryland's shoes, I want to kill myself. Oh, fuck you. No, the people you're closest to is who it's the worst with. Anybody? Was that just like an open statement to me about everything or like, no, no, no, this is Shane with against me.

I'm learning about my kings. Kelly Osborne, Ozzy Osbourne, Kelly Rippa, queen, all have misophonia. Whoa, Kelly Rippa is my idol. She is, love her. Okay, well, we're going to take a quick little break. And when we come back, Jared's childhood friend is bringing us our favorite pizza of all time

and yeah this is gonna be interesting I don't know how this is gonna go have you guys seen each other yeah I just want to vouch for Shane this being his favorite pizza place he was dragging his feet

coming back to California and he goes I guess we can't get straw hat pizza though dude I took Sandy here and she could tell you if she wants but we actually went there after I proposed to her

because it was within the realm of driving distance and it was just so sentimental to me and I want to share it with her beautiful I'm really I don't know if she was super hyped on it You guys just cleared up my ick.

I'm ready for pizza. We de-ecked you. That sounds kind of like someone trying to say de-eck. We de-i-ked you. We de-ked you. I just de-i-ked you. Thank you. I love my...

No pre-ab-m. Thanks for de-king me. Of course. Okay. Okay, we'll be right back. Okay, so a huge thank you to a returning sponsor today, and that's Rocket Money. So we've talked about them, I think, a couple times before. And I love Rocket Money so much, mainly because

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So please go support them. Check it out if it's something you're interested in. And I think it's worth it. So I will see you guys later. Enjoy the rest of the show. Bye. Hey, okay, we're back. Jared's longest friend ever, Chris Straylo,

Okay, a Pizza Boy Fresh is here. Hi, welcome to our couch. Thank you. This is crazy. We haven't, I haven't seen you in like 20 years. It's been a while. It has been a long time. Do you think he's so crazy?

Do you think he's seen the photo of you guys? Yeah, I showed him. Yes, I showed him in the cream room. I saw it on the Instagram, but I didn't see the full photo until now, you know, so. That is so crazy. We have old school friends in there. It was way back. Wow.

And so, Jared, you guys have been friends forever. That's been a minute. Almost 30 years we've been friends. It's been a long time. It has like 25 to 28 years plus. Yeah. So, okay, we have a lot to talk about because we were actually just talking about, what were we talking about?

Your rap name? Mm-hmm. Pizza Boy Fresh. Pizza Boy Fresh. Pizza Boy Fresh. Pizza Boy Fresh. Capish slash Pizza Boy Fresh. And what's Capish?

Capish was my brand, my clothing brand, and then it kind of turned into my rap. name, you know, and then went with that, you know what I saw you're rocking it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Capish. So like it started off as the clothing brand and then I start rapping, you know, I was around a lot of like rappers and stuff and passing out T-shirts and

then they're like, well, why don't you start rapping? You know, get a mixtape out. It's better than just carrying a bunch of t-shirts on your back and giving them to people, you know? I'm like, all right, it makes sense. So then I start rapping. So before we get to the pizza, which is sitting right behind you, and I can't stop staring at it.

Yes. The best pizza in the world, which we have very harsh critics here, right? Me and Jared think it's the best pizza world. You agree? I agree. 100%. Chris and Rylan have never tried it. And I want you guys to be brutally honest about this pizza.

Like, ruin my childhood. It's fun. I think it's the best ever. How does it hold up to the place we love in Colorado? Drama. I don't know. I haven't had Straw Hat in like 20 years. My second favorite pizza is mellow mushroom, which I believe is in Colorado somewhere.

Oh, interesting. But they didn't even fucking with Straw Hat. Never. Never. Never. But before we get to the pizza, we were talking during the break about shoes. So you also brought a pair of shoes. I did. So you're a shoe person. Yeah. Yeah. I was a sneaker collector forever. And then I just, it kind of gradually, I got my size. Then I get another size for my dad or my mom. And then I'd get extra pairs and then I could sell them. Okay. So make some extra money. Well, what's the shoe you get that you wouldn't sell? Like what's your all-time shoe right now? The ones I brought today. You've been offered what for them? Like 25 to 2800 for them For shoes And I still haven't sold them And what's retail?

150 bucks Wow The margins are great Why? I gotta get into the shoe This is the most expensive shoe I have This is the hardest shoe to get Wait so have you ever taken these out of the box

Is this like a moment? I have just once or twice How many times have you looked at them? Just twice? Twice in two years Yeah Wow And they still hold up

They're two years old and they're still like the thing Oh yeah Oh, yeah. Yeah, are you guys ready? I don't think I've ever been so excited about a shoe. How do you have me excited over shoes? I know. Because I don't, yeah, I'm not in the community.

Okay. Oh, wow. The hardest shoe to get at the last decade of the Ducks. So these are right here. Drumroll. The Travis Scott S.B. Ducks. Oh, wow. Wait, those are beautiful.

Like the bandana. Wait, I'm kind of scared that they're just out. Do you want to? Yeah, we're about to be a pizza. Yeah, should they be in like a glass cake? they should be far away from the pizza they are they're like yeah they're shelved and uh unless i get like i said when i get like a nice single going and i shoot a music video i'm a debut though those will be my day have you put those on your feet no never tried what

yeah yeah no no those i'd have put it on my feet at least 10 times just looked at it yeah you threw those crocs on real quick i mean i love the shoes i had on too but yeah these i just had these are great wow well thank you for uh whipping them out here of course for a debut Well, speaking of whipping things out That I'm excited about Um Where's this going? This is a lot of guys, by the way

I don't think I've ever been in a room I know Sausage fest Guys in my life This is like a kickback Remember a kickback back in the day? Okay, so you brought some straw hat I'm so excited

Even the bag is like giving me so many memories How do we do this? Should we just like rip it open? However you want, yeah Are we eating on the podcast? For a second And then we're going to put it away because the sound is going to drag me crazy.

Okay, can you hand me a box? A box. Cheaperoni specifically. Can you hand me a box? The box is pretty cool. It is still warm. It is still. The yellow and black with the green.

Oh my God. Open her up. It smells. I'm not even like acting. This is like such a legit moment for me. Okay, well show us, not you. I can't even imagine when the last time you had striked. Show the camera.

Chuckie, take note. That's a circle, baby. Oh, my God, wait, can I get a poll? Wait, I want to get a poll. So what is it about this pizza that makes it your absolute favorite? I'm sorry, I'm drooling. You've got to taste it, Pimp. I don't know.

So I haven't had it in a long time, so I don't know. Is it nostalgia or is it good? It's good. How much pizza? How much pizza are you consuming a week managing it? A lot, yeah. I'm eating pizza five days a week, you know? How could you not?

Yeah. And it's the best pizza. in the world and I it's it's tough not to you know you're already going in using myself bro I don't know okay do you guys want cheese or pepperoni pepperoni oh that stench should I wait no no go no do it now do it now wait I want to see Rylans reaction sir oh my god Rylon's reaction yeah oh wow is it amazing is it really oh um how do they do it wow incredible because it's like a thinner crust but it still packs a punch.

It's like, oh yeah, yeah. If we microwaved it a little bit, we should do that after the show. You put it in your mouth and you're like, where did that come from? It tastes like arcades. It tastes like tickets. It tastes like everything that I wish blank and cheese was. It does bring back memories. Yeah. No, it does. It's like blank and cheese

on steroids. Wow. Okay, we're going to eat that after the show and really get into it. But wow, that was, thank you for bringing that because that really did. Thank you. A lot of memories. Jared's really You can't give us pizza I expect us to stop

But like a bite Well you know I could put my mic like I'll see you later I try to be very far away From the mic But this is such a good pizza So I was looking through your Instagram

And I saw that you have a lot of pictures With celebrities Like a lot of celebrities Big ones So then I started thinking A, why How do you know these people Or how did you meet these people

And B Can you give us any of your craziest celebrity encounter stories God there's so many There is so many there is so many I could go on forever I met Jamie Fox on a video shoot

for blaming on the alcohol and with Jamie it was T-Pain Jamie Fox it was the Oscars so Jake Gillen Hall Ron Howard Samuel Jackson I'm actually in the music video

I've actually cameoed in the music video I had it at the Oscars or are you just comparing it to the Oscars? It was after the Oscars and all the stars were in town and Jamie me fox invited him to his video show i i guess the question is how did you like what was the entry way like how did you get on to it officially was there no barrier for anyone just to get on it

or no they asked i got there it was just like what do you do in here because it was all everybody was like a casted you know how to be you know with their paper you know but uh i just went on set you know just snuck on set and cheap trick cheap trick and got got a cameo wow yeah so Jamie Fox. And then Jamie Fox is cool. We're on set for like eight hours. Everything was cool. And then I seen him.

I ran into him like a few years after. It's cool as hell, you know. And I invited him to Straw Hat Pizza. So that might be a huge possibility. His, uh, his management team and his bodyguard are hitting me up to come check it out before he comes. And we're going to shut down the restaurant. Are you serious? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So I invited to the, to the restaurant. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. What are your thoughts on, um, conspiracy theories? Do you think they're stupid? or do you think they're fun? They're fun.

Okay, good, because we're doing conspiracy corner and you're joining us. Nice. Okay, so the first thing we're going to be talking about is a new Mandela Effect. I know, we're done, they're stupid, we don't believe in them anymore. But somebody sent me this one, and I had to play it because I genuinely was shook by this.

Snow White, hi-ho, hi-ho, hi-ho. It's off to work we go. Wrong, you fucking idiots. What? Yeah, get ready for this. Wow. Isn't that crazy? Wait, what was it? How do you explain that, Chris?

It's home from work we go. It's home from work. Because he said we. I said they. So I really fucked up on all accounts. Hi-ho, hi-ho. It's home from work we go. That doesn't make sense.

I mean, it makes sense. It just isn't right. I think people started kind of doing self-parodies of the song when they were going to work. People were just like, oh, hi-ho, hi-ho. It's off to work, I go. Don't try to bring logic. Wait, one more time, please. The universe switched.

Fuck off. It's never been that. What about when they're going to work? Do they sing the song twice? That's almost too much logic. Because I feel like they're skipping the log when they go to work. But is the song played? Where did they work?

I don't even know. Where do they work? Okay, so yeah, Mandela Effect, let us know. What do you guys remember it being? Okay, this one. I don't want to get too political. And I thought this one was a joke when somebody sent it. Oh, by the way, if you want to send us your MandelaFX or conspiracies or anything like that, Shane Dawson podcast stuff at gmail.com.

This is from Brooklyn. So, Joe Biden's ears. Nice start. I've never looked at his ears. So first, look at the picture on the left. Okay, look at his left ear, normal ear. Okay, normal earlobe. Where did his lobes go?

His earlobes have changed. Oh. I mean, he is like 400, right? Oh, my God. He is the oldest president we've ever had. Seriously? He's the oldest person. Oldest president we've ever had.

Oh, right, right, right. So that's weird, right. So you might be thinking, oh, maybe it's the angle. Maybe it's an illusion. But then I found a picture of him when he was young. And look at his ear, normal earlobe, okay. And now a picture of him now. Where the fuck did it go?

This is crazy, right? Does that happen when you get old? Does your ear melt into your head like a candle? I don't think so. Are they putting makeup on this man? This just creeps me out, dude. You ever heard him talk about how he was like in a he likes to go into pools and he's like I got hairy legs and my leg hair is blonde and I like to go into pools and the kids they do this with their heads on my leg and they watch my hair float around. I got hairy legs that turn that that that that that that that turn uh blonde in the sun.

Could be creepy but also sounds fun. No, his ears, do you not notice it? Am I crazy? It's hard to tell. I'm just, is it like a plastic surgery gonna write? Oh, maybe. He lost, did he have like earlobes something? Or just like a weird angle in lighting?

I don't know. I don't know what the conspiracy would be. Is a conspiracy that he's been replaced? They all have. Or it's he's in reptile. They're all right. Yes, they all. He looks the most like a lizard we've ever had.

Oh my God. I mean, he's doing something right to be the old. president ever i mean to set the record yes i don't want to get into politics on this show but um we're not we're just ripping on nothing we're talking about has to do with his policy right yeah he looks like an alien lizard man okay but so does trump they're all lizards okay this was a somebody sent me this and like listen it sounds stupid but then i started like really thinking about it micky upside down the reflection of micky is wicked oh kind of weird right that is pretty there's also three sixes in it what do you mean

There's a six. It's backwards in the M. Shut the fuck up. And the I has a six and the wise six. You guys are freaks. Well, that does actually lead me to the next thing, which is the Illuminati. Now, I know a lot of people really believe in the Illuminati. We haven't actually talked about it on the show.

I think because I'm scared. Because you're a part of it? It's not going well. The Illuminati is big right now, man. Right now. Everyone's talking about the Matrix and, you know. control and I think though I just look at it from the perspective of there has to be a group of people that have the most money in the world that want to control everything that's like almost human nature you know what I'm saying well if you compare the Illuminati to like shoe hustling it does kind of make sense because there there's this whole world of shoe hustling that I was not even aware of yeah because I'm just simple minded just living my life and there's this whole world inside of the world and I bet it goes even deep deep deep deep deep we don't know what's going on with these celebrities I don't know. I've never been to, well, you do more than I do

about these celebrities. But like, I'm sure the more powerful and the richer you get, the more board you get and the more power you want. And like, I'm sure there is like clubs. Why not? Guy, I've heard some stuff. Yeah. No, yeah. They're crazy. They throw parties. Wait. Who's they?

Yeah, I'm scared. The Illuminati? They just throw parties. I don't know who sends the invitation. I was right now. I was right. I don't know how the invitations get sent. Okay. They just get received and then people go to the party.

They walk into a hall. There's a few different rooms. Once you walk into one room, they put you in a scenario. And now you have to kind of just do what they want you to say or they talk about what happened in that room that night. Jay-Z, they always throw up the rock, you know, and Rihanna. They always throw up the Illuminati eye, you know. So those are, when I Googled, because I've done a bunch of videos about the Illuminati and stuff,

but I didn't realize how crazy it was. Like, look at how many people are doing the 666-I thing. I don't know what that is Yeah, me either So this is There's a definition for it I should have put it in this document But basically what

The all seeing eye And there's three sixes If you look at the fingers, six Why are they doing it? It doesn't seem like a very Is it, was it just trendy? It's weird, right? Are they actually a part of something?

Well, supposedly it's a way to show that you're a part of the Illuminati Sorry, there's some people in this picture that are like not that baby Which is making me think that they're doing it to me Like, I'm in the club too Same But yeah

But yeah So I guess it's like a way to sign that you're Wow is that Lina Arnold Caprio from like a million years ago He's been in it for that long But there's also other ones like if you do this If you do like this with your hand I mean there's quite a bit of these hand signs that they claim And there's no world in which it was just like a TikTok trend of their time

I mean It's like on the real housewives Oh yeah they're all a part of it Some of you guys might know this that are watching On the real housewives, all these women are not going to jail because they're frauding people in real life and their money's like not really theirs. But they go on reality shows

and they show how much money they have and they show how rich they are. But it's like not their money. And it's like in plain sight. They're like getting off to it. Yeah. Anyways. Chris, you had something to say? I was just going to say I can understand a group like

if there's a richest group in the world wanting to keep that that makes sense to me. But like some of the things that people have accredited with Illuminati seem silly to me if I'm being honest. And like some, I mean there's, I don't know, over the years there's like things I've just heard or, like, things, and there's like, oh, this person made a face in a music video, and I'm like, I don't know, come on.

Or, like, little people would be like, oh, this agenda is about the Illuminati. I'm like, that wouldn't benefit anyone. Do you have any specifics or? Like, people have, like, said, like, Little Nas came out because of the Illuminati, and I'm like, Little Naz is a gay man who came out because he's a gay man. Well, I do have a clip that I thought. He did make a very weird music video. I do have.

Yeah, that was a lot. He had blood in one of his sneakers, too. What? Yeah, you didn't hear about that? Little Nose X. No. Yes. What?

What? 666 pairs of these shoes that came out. He put his own blood in, right? He said it was blood, but then the shoe just looked like I had liquid. Like, it just looked like any of those, like, those shoes that had the liquid in the bottom right part. I don't think it was really blown. That's not weird to say it. Yeah, that's a consistent.

Okay, so I saw this clip that was going viral, and I obviously, it's like kind of a joke and kind of funny. But then the more I watched it, I watched about 200 times, it started getting creepier to me because I kind of think that he's joking in plain sight. Watch this clip of Kevin Hart silencing Kelly Clarkson. I don't know if you've had this, but I've had people throw millions of dollars in my face to do something I didn't want to do. And what? Oh. You've been up. Yeah.

Oh, they're in the room. Yeah. What the fuck? Ooh. It's not a way of queuing you. Like, it's open time. Yeah. You want me to keep talking about it?

By all means, we can keep talking about anything. But don't do it. Ooh. That is crazy. Right? That was scary as fuck. That is scary. I mean, yeah, that's very scary.

So, we, like, Kelly Clarkson, you can feel her just being like, wait, um, is this, wait, huh? Well, Kelly Clarkson does, like, she is powerful enough and famous enough for the Illuminati to approach. And she's like, nah. How would they not? And she turned them down. Well, that's what I'm saying.

She's strong enough to turn them down. And now that's why all this bad shit's happening to her. Okay, so out of curiosity, right? Okay, so the Illuminati approaches you. Hey, girl. Because I think it came up earlier, like, what's the? agenda or something like that what do they want you to do but but but like so what what do you think possibly they could have had kelly clarkson do for them the are you kidding me she's on the voice she

has her own daily talk show she's a pop star how do you imagine that she could have contributed to them like talked about a certain topic or how would it i guess act as a spokesperson without being overt so selling products uh delivering a message but that's the thing is that feels more direct to me than this. And this doesn't feel like the start of something bigger to me. Have you ever heard a message that you felt like that's like some Illuminati stuff they want you to think? Well, Shane kind of started talking about it last night, but NFTs seem like crazy. You know what I'm talking about? It's like they went up, up and where are they? Boom. You know, it's like the Illuminati didn't work out on that one.

I think NFTs. Kelly Clarkson said no. It was just opportunist that saw that nobody understood cryptocurrencies and they thought, why not, you know? Well, okay, speaking of celebrities, we're going to move on from the Illuminati because I'm actually scared. This is also celebrity related, and this is one of my favorites. So, I'm obsessed with celebrities who have fake voices and, like, fake personas. What about Gilbert Godfrey? Does he get a pass? Rest in peace.

But I thought I liked his voice. Yeah, well, so Gilbert Godfrey, he's a comedian who, he talks like this. That was great, dude. He's the bird in the Lion King. Wow. He's like, hey. Or no, I laugh at it. He passed away, but his real voice was just, hey, what's up?

So I love something that freaks me out. So I found a clip. I'm already shook because I didn't know that until just loud. Yeah, me neither. About Gilbert Godfrey. I didn't know that. I think a lot of people don't know that. He only did his real voice on Howard Stern like once.

Wait, okay, I should play it because. I'm already shook. All right. This hasn't started yet. I've never tried this. Michael Jackson had a different voice. The reason he talked like he did is because he always wanted to just relax his vocal cords. So he didn't try hard.

Because he wanted to sing better And not search himself Okay, so Gilbert Godfrey I guess I should play a clip of what he What his like, you know Is he funny voice And I'm so fucking rich I can have all the licorice I want

Okay so do you remember his voice Yes He was the Affleck duck Affleck It's iconic Okay so this is his actual speaking voice If you may be I'll grab a piece of pastry

On the way out I can't just eat and not exercise Yes, you can. Look at everyone else on the moment. So that's his voice. That was Gilbert Godfrey talking? Yes. I was waiting for Gilbert Godfrey to start talking. I was like, okay, who's this guy?

Isn't that crazy? He's such a genius. Rest in peace. What? How exhausting to, I mean, and what talent to be able to not break throughout your career of going on talk shows and everything? Okay, so Paris Hilton. This is a clip from Patrick Starr, a makeup tutorial,

and I saw this a couple years ago, and I totally forgot about it until last. night and then I rewatched it and it's crazier than I remember. So Paris Hilton, we all know that her voice is fake. What? The baby voice? Her voice is like fake. And but this clip she starts in the baby voice and then I think she forgets and then

she goes back into it. So get ready. This is insane. Not like a good alien like an alien who doesn't know how to do their makeup. And I also learned another beauty tip that I heard Marilyn Monroe did. Okay. Not the first time but like usually I'm so tired because I'm like in a different country and I land, I do the glam.

Mm-hmm. So they, like, put, like, pillows around me. Oh, wow. And I, like, sleep, and then they do the hair and makeup while I'm sleeping, and it's like... It just keeps getting super. What's word of advice, like, tackling a dream? And then what? And she goes back to it.

Don't pay attention to the haters. Okay. Wait. Like, literally, haters are just miserable people who, like, are jelly. And by mean jelly, I mean... At Sierra, you'll always find apparel footwear and gear for 20 to 60% less than Department and specially store prices. But right now, it's clearance time.

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When I just watched the Kardashians with you guys, she looks exactly like she looks right there. But isn't that crazy? Like she, I mean, I love Paris. But like, so she probably was just so comfortable. She forgot that she, like, you know, about the voice. And it's like, yeah, and I'm like doing her in makeup. But then she caught herself.

She's like, I'm like, yeah. Well, what's interesting is when she had that documentary come out and she was like reclaiming herself and her life, she was going on a press tour saying like, oh, the voice was made up. And it's something that I put on because I'm a smart businesswoman. And she dropped it for like a month. And then everything after that was back in the voice. It's like, hey guys. Well, yeah, because we miss it. Okay.

Larry the cable guy. This one is an obvious one. and it's not a secret. I just hadn't heard it before, and it freaked me out. So, you know, Larry the Cable Guy, right? Last time I let her drink before a concert, I'll tell you that much. It was embarrassing. It was windy out, so her boobies was flying around like one of them inflatable wind dancers

in front of an oil chain shop, you know what I mean? So that's Larry the Cable Guy, icon. And I saw this clip. We're not in the studio together, but when somebody reads me his line and then I got to do my line, I already know what inflection Owen put on it on it, Even though somebody else is reading it. Isn't that insane? Wow.

I guess he's a performer. That one I did know about, but when I first heard it, it blew my mind. Like, I was like, what do you mean? His accent's not real. And then I started thinking his audience is, you know, like people that maybe talk like that or that relate to that. Yeah, like a type, yeah. So do you think they were pissed when the truth came out?

It is weird. I never heard his voice. I think we talked about it before, but it's like the Duck Dynasty guys. I never saw that show. But like they made this whole show and they're like, hey, whoa, and they have big beards and big whatever. Yeah. But then they're all rich.

you know clean cut dudes and it's all bullshit it's easy to get lost in your job I will say yeah once you start finding success oh my god hold on let me show you're all wearing fake beards and shit yeah so they started duck dynasty because they were promoting their like duck whistle yeah but they wanted to appeal to you know people that would buy that

so they started looking like this on their reality show so just created character fully aware of that so that's them right so uh real yeah everything's alive this is them right before the show came out. No, it's not. Stop.

That is so good. Honestly, a good con. Crazy? Dude, if that's not a cheap trick, I don't know what it is. That's fucking commitment. Well, it's like the guy to liver key. You've seen this guy?

Oh, yeah. You got to look at him. He only eats, like, duck livers or something, and, like, he kept saying he wasn't on steroids and all this stuff, but obviously he was. Yeah. But it's like, there's a lot of people,

fake in the funk out there. Well, you never know what will go viral. And then once it sticks, it's like, who am I to say no to this jackpot I hit? And then you lose yourself inside of it. There's a lot of people to play characters, you know? Wow. Well, speaking of fake voices, it's time for a recap.

My camera action, Ryland's recap is about to happen. Ryland's recap. On today's episode of the Shane Dawson podcast, the boys find their first guest of 2023. Just so happens to be Pizza, is it Pizza Boy Fresh?

That's correct. Pizza Boy Fresh. Pizza Boy Fresh. You do it. Capish and Chris. Yes. Wow, good. Yeah.

Now you're eating. Autism got talked about a lot. I'm not autistic, by the way. I don't want to say accused because that seems aggressive. We confirm that we're not. The boys confirm that they are indeed not autistic. We addressed speculation. But they did address speculation.

Spectrum speculation. They did address spectrum speculation. Prayers for C.C. Or no. Oh, yeah. Yeah, possibly if you know C.C. in real life, search party for Cici. The boys are concerned about phone caller Cici,

who seems to be getting love bombed soon to be killed. Cici, we're praying for you. Yikes. We don't know if she's going to get killed. Okay, Shane screamed it for 30 minutes. I want to believe in love, but nothing good at the kid. Yeah, Chris, what would you do if on a first day a girl was like, I love you, we should get married and have kids?

This year. I probably would not talk to her again. Boom. There it is. Well, what if she was your dream girl? What if she was her everything? Like, you were like, she's everything you ever wanted. Definitely go out on a second day.

Bad advice. Cecee, do not listen to people in French. Oh, Jared. Jared's Crocs. Jared receives the ultimate gift from Shane being seven, 111 crux, however, that dream was soon to be crushed after we became sneakerheads and learned they were trash. Crocodogoodle do?

They're bricks. I don't know. What was it? Bricks? You're telling me. They're nice. They're nice. What is the brick mean? Rate these right now on 1 to 10. How do you rate these? How do you rate these kicks? Be honest. Honest. They're like a neat actually. Wow.

These are. They're sneakerhead approved. What is? I'll tell you, they're pretty much sold out on the, on the crocs site. They're a hot get They're not bricks I don't know with who Oh a new Ick unlocked Your yawning is fucking annoying

Oh don't go people but The boys discover a few new icks One being me yawning And Jared can't stand When somebody calls him Bud And you shouldn't trust anyone That calls you bud

No fucking cut him out of your life No but my best friend does it He's a really good guy I'd cut somebody out that said Bud faster than somebody said they want to get married He's one of the best people ever met Straw Hat makes the best pizza of all time Oh the boys learned

well, I learned straw hat pizza makes the best pizza of all times. It's been confirmed. Oh, Joe Biden's ears have changed. Weird, melted candles. He's a lizard. Melted candles. But not political.

In presidential news, his ears have gone. We're just strictly attacking his looks. Nothing presidential about it. Nothing political, but he is the oldest president ever. Would you let him pee on you? No. Okay.

I wouldn't let you pee on me. I bet he pees on himself. I guess I would. for the story. A little, a little, a little. They've probably got to tell them where to pee, yeah. Go vote.

Yeah, vote, everyone. Politics. Okay. Please, please vote. Kelly Clarkson, she rejected the Illuminati, pray for Kelly. Kelly Clarkson confirmed she is not about the Illuminati, shutting Kevin Hart down. What a queen.

We love her. Oh, Paris Hilton has 10 voices. In celebrities with 10 voices, Paris Hilton tops the charts. Her music? Just kidding. No, I'm sorry. Paris Hilton could be Kim Kardashian.

Oh. She's the one that introduced Kim Kardashian to the world. Maybe it was a stunt double. Maybe to become her down the line. I don't know. Parallel universe alert. Paris Hilton is Kim Kardashian. Ooh.

Wait, now. When you want to grow your list size, pop up like it's hot, pop up like it's hot, pop up like it's hot, pop up like it's hot, and when you gotta boost your revenue, pop up like it's hot, hey, pop up like it's hot, pick your favorite template you can tailor to your brand. They're Mailchimp-A-Riffy, you're gonna be a fan. Mailchimp your marketing with our new customizable pop-ups. Abercrombie Kids is bringing the ultimate first-day energy back to school. All starts with on-trend outfits for that front door photo shoot. Plus, the coolest tease, shorts, and jeans to take them through the rest of the year. Get them ready for their close-up and keep them comfy, too. Make this grade their best one yet.

Shop all things back to school, in store, online, and in the app. I feel bad about Peres Hill Inn. I'm sorry. You don't know her music. No, stars are blind is good. Her music is good. Yeah. Her self-titled album, Paris, from 2009.

I prefer Ashley Simpson, but whatever. Ryland, yawning, maybe a sociopath. Dang. Test your relationships with yawning. If your boyfriend doesn't yawn back, he's likely a sociopath. Oh, we have a new voicemail. 747-263-2512. You think I can remember that?

An answer if we call. The boys have a new voicemail line. If you want to ask advice or talk shit about it. about us to our faces, feel free to call and leave your number because we will call back live. Possibly. You know what that's like. If we like you enough. It's not a contingent. Keep it short, too. Don't get crazy. Oh, where could people find Chris, aka. Capish,

aka Pizza Boy Fresh. I think you should go with that name. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where can you find him? Good question. Tossing to Chris now. I'm at Capish Kid, K-A-P-E-A-S-H-K-I-D. And then also my sneaker page, too, is Capish, at Capish underscore Kix. do you review the sneakers you get or that you're selling tutorials i do reviews i do like battle sneaker battles better hypes get your sneaker game up yeah and then uh yeah and then also

my music videos on on youtube as well capish baddies check that out too yeah check it out check out all the socials check out straw hat pizza in lakewood california at straw hat pizza serritos Sirita. You follow the first five posts, free pizza. Whoa. Wait, that's what a deal? Straw hat.

Going out of business. Wait a minute. And I was also thinking, listen, not to get too overboard and not to, you know, love bomb you too much. But I was thinking if we ever did our first live show, our first live podcast, we should do it at a straw hat pizza. I'm just saying. Come through. I know where else we would do it. We'll come through.

We'll come through. Yeah, sounds good. Okay. Yeah, I guess wrap it up, baby. Oh, we have a new merch, whatever. They get it. Who cares? You guys are doing it.

All right, you guys. That's it for today's episode of the Shane Dawson podcast. Make sure you buy the Shane Dawson podcast merch at Shane Dawsonpodcast.com. Follow us all on social media and listen wherever you listen to your podcast or watch us on YouTube, subscribe, and we'll see you every next week every other week. We know how often are we uploading? I don't know. Do we know? No.

And we'll see you right here next time on the Shane Dawson podcast. Yay. Well, hopefully. you guys enjoyed whatever the hell this was with our first guest in california chris pizza boy fresh who okay aluminum don't come for us we'll see you guys next time bye You know,