The Shane Dawson Podcast - Celebrity Conspiracy Theories! Ariana Grande, Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber and Dirty Soda!

Episode Date: April 14, 2024

Celebrity Conspiracy Theories! Ariana Grande, Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber and Dirty Soda! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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slash C-O-N-T-R-O-L for your free trial. That's Aura.com slash control. Okay, so later we're going to get to one of the craziest conspiracies supposedly of all time that Jared has prepared for us, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I got it.

It's a crazy one. Strap it. Hey, welcome back to whatever the hell this is. Neon Edition, or no? I actually have a theory about our outfits. Ooh, tell me. I think we're ice cream edition because you have mint chocolate chip, pistachio, cookies and cream, rainbow sherbur.

Oh, my God. And the guy serving it. So I think we're ice cream parlor edition today. You do give ice cream parlor like 50s. Energy. Like neon signs everywhere. I'm a little lady. What would you like?

I love the 50s. My ex-worked at an ice cream shop. I love ice cream. It all makes sense. Trigger. Wow. Trigger. We have a lot to talk about.

Or maybe we don't. We'll get to it. I have a question about your dating situations. Situations. I'm interested. I have questions. I just want to say, Jared looks like a middle-aged mom going through a crisis. It was that for you.

I don't, that's a compliment. That print? Are you kidding me, Shane? What? This is cool to me. It's a little busy, but I do like it. I'd wear this out in public. Oh my God, we can't, okay, first of all, we can't be talking about all these fashion updates without. Fashion update, what's he wearing?

What's the outfit for the day? What's got Jared looking sexy? Why does Chris dress oh, so gay? What's a shirt is Shane by now? That's why his money's gone away. Fashion update, what's he wearing? What's the outfit for the day? Fashion update.

Fashion Update, fashion update, fashion update. And Rylan and Spencer. At least I'm not the only one left out anymore. I know, feels good. Yeah, Spencer's wearing a Jojo's gay sweatshirt. Spencer's not gay, but, you know, Jojo is. I'm an ally, Joe. Okay, so let me explain what I was talking about with the relationship situation.

Okay. So as you guys know, and we're going to talk about this later in the show, but I'm currently in the process of planning and figuring out Spencer's dating show, which is coming up. I have a lot of girls and I'm... How does that apply to Chris? We'll get to it. We'll get to it.

We have all the leftover girls are for you, Chris. Yes. So, yeah, we'll talk about that later in the show because we have some updates on the dating situation. But with you, so in our last episode, we talked about you and your boyfriend, and I don't remember exactly what went down. Well, we're giving them an ultimatum. What's it the ultimatum? How about where they live? I think that's what...

Anyways, we got a lot of emails asking me for an update. What's going on? what's happening and now Chris listen I hope you guys survive and putting prayers up thank you but worst case scenario you could be season two

of the dating show and listen chubby chasers iconic but I'm not putting that out there I want you guys to survive oh I can picture it now all the chubby boys rolling up to the mansion I mean I think I might have to break up

just so that happens so fun his boyfriend's gonna come running over to our house to kill all of us. We also might need your boyfriend's help because this can be a big production. So. Can you imagine we hire him as a PA as I'm dating other people? Okay, so we got so many emails.

So we just have to do an update. Now, I'm putting prayers up. How is everything going? Is he moving here yet? What's happening? No. He's not moving here yet. Not a great update.

I don't know. We still don't know. He's like, oh, I'm working on things. And I'm like, what does that mean, though? And like, not really giving me any great. answers, unfortunately, so I don't know. I know as much as anyone in this room, unfortunately. Okay, well, not a great update, but... But season two.

Hopefully for season two! I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I love your boyfriend. Okay, very sweet. Also, can I just say, I don't know if you've already documented this entire journey on your podcast, The SIP, check it out. But we have gone through a whirlwind situation with these Girl Scouts. Can we give the finale? And can we, can we break this down? Yeah. So we're walking the dogs and we're on the dog walk and there's a sign in like the middle of, you know, nowhere, right? Like in the middle of the dirt. And the sign says like, support Tiffany on her journey of Girl Scouts.

Here's the QR code. Get some cookies. And I was like, we're fucking supporting Tiffany right now. So we did the QR code. We ordered a bunch of fucking cookies. And then it said, Tiffany will text you when the cookies are ready. Tiffany's very professional. Usually they're just hounded me at Ralph's.

Right. This is a new way of doing it. I respect it a lot. Yeah. So Tiffany, we're waiting for her text, right? She never texts us. Days go by. A week goes by.

Tiffany didn't text us. I'm like, that is weird. So then I Google it. I'm like, is this a scam? I'm like, is this a scam that Girl Scouts pretend? You know, whatever. And it popped up and it said, there's a new scam going around.

A warning about scammers pretending to be Girl Scouts selling cookies. And of course, we're like feeding the babies. And Shane's like, deep in his phone. And he's like, you've been scammed. And I was like, chill. out like relax well let me explain so the scam is these liars these con artists create these fake signs and then this fake website and you buy it with your cookies and they show up and it's on my credit card

so he's stressing about out about us being scammed but really it lies on me and he's over there freaking out and i'm just like can we just wait a minute so i click on the link right go to his emails and i go to the confirmation and it says like here's your confirmation from your tiffany order And so I click on the link And it takes me to a website It says Tiffany is no longer selling cookies Oh shit And then there's a customer care number

On that email as well And the customer care number Is always out of order So then I look and it says If it's a Girl Scout whatever.org That's real But if it's Girl Scout whatever.com That's a fraud

And I look at nils.com So now, Rylan, take over what happened with you and your mom. Well, first I logged onto my credit card statement and I see it's processing. So I'm like, okay, at least it hasn't gone all the way through. And it's been a couple of days. Maybe if they can't fulfill my order and their good, honest people,

this won't process in my credit card. Good honest people usually put up QR codes in the middle of the woods for unsuspecting people to, you know, take their money. But yeah, it rang of genuineness to me. And so my mom and I are walking the dogs, and I'm telling her about this story and how I was scammed in the neighborhood. And I was like, you know, it's really weird

that they would put it in this neighborhood that's typically older. I'd say the median age is about 65 in this neighborhood and my mom goes, that's probably exactly where somebody drove over here and put it in there

and you're the one that fell for it. I was like, oh, right. So I have basically knock on the nosy neighbor's door. So then we get her outside and I'm like, do you know blank? I gave her real name on my podcast, but we're going with Tiffany today.

You gave away the girl. Sorry, I felt like I was stamped. I just don't want people to think we're lying. Like I said one name on this podcast, another on yours. Okay, let's say Tiffany. Okay, Tiffany. I go, is there a Tiffany that lives here? And she goes, no, I've lived here for like 33 years.

And I don't know a Tiffany. And I go, are you kidding me? And so I told my mom to throw away the sign. So my mom walks over, picks up the sign, and throws it in a huge dumpster. And I was like, we just saved the neighborhood. We get home from the walk. And about two hours later, this person's like, hey, I'm blank Tiffany's mom. We just realized that we got an order from you that was never fulfilled.

Sorry about the delay. Dude, the old lady is Tiffany, and you caught her ruse. And I go, oh, did she, does she have cameras and saw that we threw away her sign, which then prompted her to look at her orders? Okay. Or was it just a coincidence that I threw away the sign and God told her, like, check your order. So I'm feeling a little bit bad. I'm like, I'm not going to walk over there now and dig out the sign out of the trash.

So I just got, I did the right thing. I just want to say, the next day, when I was walking. the dogs, I did fish the sign out of the trash can and I put it back up. Okay. So I did right by the world. So he got cookies. Well, let me explain. Where are we at with the cookies?

He throws away the sign, right? Digs it out of the trash, causes a fucking disaster shit storm. Everybody in the neighborhood has probably seen it happen on their ring camps. Riley goes to walk the dogs and I'm in the house all by myself. Well, I'm with the babies. And this is also let me tell you another week later. Another week. It took another week. And then ding-dung our gate rings.

And I'm like, huh? And I look. And it's a family. I'm like, oh, this is weird. It's a whole family. There's, like, a kid hanging out the window. Like, what's going on? So I'm like, hi, hello, who is this?

Like, hi, it's Tiffany and her family. We have your cookies. Oh, my hand delivered them. I was like, what? So then I let them in, and it's a whole family. Daddy, mommy, son on his switch, Tiffany. She pops out of the car. No.

Hi, I can't see her cookies. That's for supporting my duty. And then the mom is just like, you know, she pops out of the car. She's cold. And she's just like, hey, sorry, it took a while. And, you know, the dad pops out and he's like, hey, my name's whatever. And we're hanging out, we're talking, we're kicking. And the whole time, I'm just thinking like, oh, my God, she was written.

And then the kicker is the mom goes. And just so you know, thank you so much. You guys were the only ones that ordered these. Oh, my God. Wait, and it took you this fucking, dude. You got one customer and they're not happy. And you didn't even realize that they had ordered anything. But I will say Tiffany was so sweet, so professional.

She had her little thing on with a little, you know, like whatever. And I was just like, Someone just robbed all kinds of people and then hired a weird family of actors to come deliver fucking cookies to your house because they knew the jig was up. Like, all right, dude, get a fucking family. We're the Miller style situation here. Go ring on their doorbell. It's probably a 40-year-old that looked like a kid. Wait!

And it sounds so weird. Why would it take so long? On that tip. Like, what? I got to, whoever the scammer is, I got to respect to you for the follow-through here. everything. This is the nosy lady who strikes again. Well, there you guys go. That was the saga of the Girl Scout Cookies, and I think it had a happy ending. Or not. It's a fun ending. I like it. Okay, I have a game I want to play with you guys. We're going to play in a minute. It's hot ones, truth or dab, but we'll get to that.

Damn. Isn't that how they do it? Dab. Well, this game, I think it's like dab, like a dab of hot sauce. I don't quite understand. But yeah, we'll get to that. Now, dab. So, the families of Utah, the mommies of Utah, the Mormons, in general have taken over the internet. They've taken over TikTok and they've created something called dirty soda. Let me explain. So basically what they do is they take a soda such as a Dr. Pepper. This is the OG version. And then they take coconut flavoring. And then they put coconut creamer inside of it, mix it all up. And supposedly it's like a really sweet, creamy, delicious coffee drink replacement. So I've given everybody some creamers, some different types of soda. All the stuff that will kill you comes out of Utah.

Crumbles, water talk, dirty sodas. Honestly, you don't give a county caffeine and look what they come up with. Fuck yeah. Wait a minute. You're right. I have heard of dirty Sprite. I've never heard of. Well, it's pretty much if you put cough syrup in.

So they are taking some influence from Dirty Sprite. So I gave everybody a little glass bottle so you guys can see the mix. And everybody I gave a different soda. So I have Dr. Pepper. What do you have? Sprite. What do you have? got to orange soda. Very hard to not think of

Keenan and Kill. Chris has root beer, Spencer, what do you got? I have this fucked up thing. This kind of just looks like a sobe. It's curdling. Wait, you already did it? I mean, yeah. It is curdling. Oh, my God. Jared looks good. How much do you put pour? Ooh, I did about a lot.

About a lot. I don't know. I just kept going until I felt it. This is terrible. I'm excited for some reason. I think it's going to be a hit. Ooh, I did a lot. This is delicious. Is it good? Oh, fuck yeah, this is good. I knew it. It tastes, remember Orange Julius at the mall?

They could have just done this and have the same flavor. Oh, my. This is God. This is fucking good as fuck. It feels like this should be so wrong, but it's so good. Listen, if you're not allowed to fuck or have coffee or be gay, you got this dirty soda, bitch. Who cares? And if you do Sprite, I don't think there's caffeine in Sprite, is there?

It's technically legal. Oh, my God. And Roopier. I don't think there's caffeine in Roobier. This is really incredible. Chris is really going in. It's so good. It's so good.

What is the diabetic rate of these women? I mean, this is like fucking sugar on sugar. Don't drink it all because you're going to need it. Oh, shit. This is delicious. Because we're about to play truth or death. Okay, so what this game is, this was created by Hot Ones, not sponsored. And they include a bunch of cards with truths on them.

So everybody has a few of these. I'm sorry. Now, the game is you read the truth. or dare technically and you either do it or you take a dab of the hottest sauce in the world it's called the last dab it's a tough one instead now so i'll die i feel like this is a good drink though to go with this game because it's creamy so hopefully it'll yeah okay so who wants to go first who wants to do the first truth or dab i just like the whole experience of dirty soda can i say that keep going i like it honestly put a straw on the creamer it's

I'm going to be so sick. With the phanta in the creep. It's like crawling out of this. Okay, Chris. I'll go first. Let's have you go first. Oh, I'm nervous. All right.

So, truth. Answer the question or take a dab. Do you enjoy 69ing? Why or why not? I mean, that's an easy one for me. I love 69ing. Absolutely. Big fan.

Couldn't be a bigger fan. Sorry, I'm visualizing. I was thinking about the logistics as well. Hey, don't put that on everybody else. I didn't say legit. I ain't thinking about no logistics. I mean, I think it works But I'm curious.

Because they're you Oh, never mind. Well, no, I'm saying Okay, if we're all thinking logistics. No, listen, hold on. Are you all thinking about me 609? Yes. If we were 69ing,

you would have to be on top. Unless I'm doing like a plank. But you can also be on your side. But a lot of chubby chasers like being smashed, you know, so that's like a part of it. Wait, being smashed. Yeah, like squish, smush. That's it.

But being under the weight. lot. It sounds specifically about someone in the room. Wow. So you enjoy. Not with all the weight. A lot of them. Not with all the weight. Oh, yeah. All the way. The more of the back gives me anxiety. As a bigger person, I'm too scared to do that. You would die. Um, okay. I guess I'll go next. Mine says, would you rather have sex with, whoa. Wow. Wait, I want to know. Would you rather have sex with the body of your parent? that has your partner's soul in them, or the other way around.

Oh. If you freaky Fridayed with my mom or dad. Yes. Would I rather have sex with my mom or dad? Well, you'd want to be with me. Well, you'd want to be with me. Here's what I would do. I would be you, right?

Your body with my mom or my dad in you. Maybe my dad, because we, you know, we haven't been close our whole lives. And I feel like what I would do is say like, hey, dad. No. Guys, this isn't easy. Because I guess the opposite would be me in his body. Yes. Yes.

I can't do that. That's too weird. Because then you'd have the visual of a parent. It's too weird. Rather than the soul and memory of a parent. Too weird. That went from zero to a hundred so fast. It really did.

All right. Truth. Okay. Let everyone here tell you why you should probably consider going to therapy. I might dab on this. One, because I don't want to do that. And two, I'm very curious. I do want to try the hot sauce.

Well, okay. Well, have you try the hot sauce. But what I will say is you might need therapy after the dating show. That's true. Because we don't know how it's going to go. Yeah, that's true. But also, I feel like you are probably the most calm, collected, mentally stable person here. So I feel like that question would have been better for someone else.

Ooh. Perfect shot. I'm not saying you need therapy. You literally tell me all the time. I know. What do you think is that enough? I mean, that happens. Oh, dude, that's worthy.

Can you handle spice typically? I like to, like, go kind of crazy with spice, so I'm, okay. Wow, look at the technique, guys. You know, if you haven't signed up for the dating show. Oh, no, oh no. Yeah, it's a little spicy. Oh, no. Oh, no.

It's got to get worse. It's not as spicy as I thought. I think I thought I was going to, like, die. Well, good job. Wow. Good stuff, dude. Jared, do you want to take a... Yeah, let me go ahead and do this.

I'll take a dab. But let me see if I want to be truthful first. When's the last time you took a nude? and who did you send it to? I'm sure I can't remember the last time I wanted to take a naked picture of myself to be honest with you

but I'm sure in the beginning of our relationship I sent maybe a wiener pick over to Sandy A weiner pick You know or something Ryland Wasn't he taking a dab? No, no, he answered the question.

I'll take it. I thought he requested a dab. Oh, I can't wait to try it. Really? I'm good at hand I'm good at handling Spife Is that a new Spice? Don't you hate Spice?

Yeah, it isn't a new Spice. No, no, no. I was kind of hoping it wasn't. Yeah, I was, I'm glad you asked. As I was handing it over, I was like, did I swap foods? I'd like to think you just had the decency to swap them, but I'm glad someone asked. I don't know. Oh, oh, oh.

Oh, no. It is pretty hot. Nothing. But it's not, it's not like uncomfortably. What a badass. Wow. All right, Rylind. Do I just pick one or do I look at them?

Just pick one. How many times a week do you masturbate? I actually am curious about this. I mean, depends on the week, but not often. Really? Like, what kind of a week makes you want to masturbate more? Like, springtime? Like, cold days?

It's all on the frequency of, like, how much we're having sex that week. So how many times a week? Probably only, like, once. Well, yeah. We're having sex multiple times a week. Why would I? And when do you do it? When you're going to bed,

early because you're tired and then I'll hear no fucking Netflix and I'm like what the fuck and I'm like hey I thought you were going to bed and you're like oops no first of all I would not be talking up to a Netflix drama second of all

I would only do it if it was like it needed to be done you know it needed to be done no like something it has to be done you're just so horny you have to what it is what are you seeing during the day that's getting you that fucking riled up. It's not about that. It's like a backstock of the fire sale. Yes.

Him and the gardener are always outside. Oh. And the gardener, he'll knock on the door and I'll be like, hey, and then he'll be like, Rylan. I'm like, oh, weeds ain't the only thing he's been whacking. Can you give me the hot sauce? What? Oh, I want to try it too. I would love for you to try it because I have to be brutally honest. Right. The length is brutal. The strength ain't that bad, but the length is Oh, it lasts. Oh, I'm just going to dump. Weird, it doesn't have a regular hot sauce top. It's just open.

Yeah. It's like a little shooter of hot sauce. Ew, I don't like the flavor. It ain't made for the flavor. Hmm. All right. Well, I feel like, listen, no offense to this game, I'm sure it's really fun to play with your. Who would you play this way?

The questions are spicier than the dab, I think. I see. Yeah. Well, for review. Would you play this with family? This is weird, right? Who would you play this way? I guess people have friends.

This does laugh. It lingers. Just take it on the bus with you. Hey, you guys want to play a game? Does anybody want to do one more question before we move on? Yeah, I'd like to know how many times a week you do. Or dab. It's not my turn.

It's a lot. It's not my turn. No, listen, I would say my answer has nothing to do with you. My answer is it's more mental health. Because I use masturbating as a, you know, mental health. health check it's it's a relief it's a stress release it's how many you know a lot sometimes i don't know are you mental health shaming him right now during mental health awareness month hello wow uh well there you go that was truth or dab what a fucking nightmare these are quite the

thought provoking questions they really are yeah we're going to take a quick little break and we'll come back vagina ever get the feeling you're being watched online. It's not paranoia. It's data brokers. These companies collect your personal information, including your browsing habits, where you live, and even who you're related to, and they sell it to the highest bidder. That's where Aura comes in. Ora automatically removes your personal info from data broker sites and then keeps it off. Ora also monitors the dark web, safeguards your devices, alerts you to real-time threats, and more. Start your free trial at Aura.com slash control.

That's A-U-R-A-com slash C-O-N-T-R-O-L for your free trial. That's Aura.com slash control. Can you hear me? Oh my God. Sorry, I didn't know if you could hear me in amazing quality sound with potential isolation mode

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Bye. All right, welcome back to Vigina. viewers are great I need another theme song coming soon yes um okay this first email this is everything this is from Michelle and Isaac she said hey everyone I love the podcast my husband and I just had her sixth year anniversary and what better way to celebrate than taking your merch to Tokyo Disney wow wow the Disney castle them eating their churros yum wow oh she has bedazzles on her ears showing us wow that's so special thank you for taking us to Tokyo Disney.

That is so cute that they travel all the way there with your merch. I love it. Okay. Okay, this is from Darzia. Wait, D-A-R-I-Z-A. I'm reading it, Darza. Darza. Darza.

Doreza. Doreza. Dorezna, Dorez. It's from Derriza. She said, my fiancé, and I love the podcast so much. Anyways, I had a stressful week at work, and I was having a usual, casual cry in the bathroom while wearing your conspiracy club shirt. So obviously, I decided to stamp a picture.

See, Attach. for my smeared mascara and the comfiest shirt to have a mental breakdown in. What a good way to pitch the merch. Right? Honestly, you can't even tell she's having a mental breakdown. No, you look stunning. Have you guys had a breakdown at work before?

Yes. Multiple. I think everyone. When we worked at Jenny Craig and I was like losing weight, one of the other employees who I love, but she like grabbed my belly and she went, need more. Squishy, squishy.

Very, very nonsensitive. Honest. Oh, yeah. Have you ever had a breakdown in the bathroom? Oh, every day when I waited tables, thought it was my go-to place. Just scream in the bathroom. Okay.

So, sorry, Derizzo that you're having breakdowns, but you look good doing it. Send us pictures of you breaking down at work in the merch. Oh, my God. Okay. And then, oh, this is so sweet. This is from Marjorie. She said, hey, Shane and the rest of the crew,

I'm the eldest. I love that word, eldest. I'm the eldest of three sisters, and my second sister gifted me your pink pig bag when it first came out. We've been watching your video since 2011. She got married this first week of March. Our baby sister and I were her bridesmaids. I wore the pig backpack because it matched the colors of our dresses. And look at the pig back in a wedding.

That's iconic. She looks so good. So good. I mean, it matches perfectly. She's not wrong. Look, it matches the straps of the dress. Exactly. Like, you can't even tell.

It looks imposed on there. Honestly, it was a no-brainer. It's so cute. Thank you. That's the sweetest thing I've ever seen. Thank you so much. Not sweeter, though, than Dera's breakdown. No, no, definitely not.

Definitely not. Equally sweet. Okay, let's get to some voicemails. This first voicemail is from Glenn. I think the username is fat with a P. Fat Glenn. Got to respect that kind of a name. Got to respect it.

Here we go. Hey, guys. It's Glenn. Love the podcast. Hashtag team grower. Yes. My girlfriend and I watch you guys all the time. We're actually watching right now. But the main reason I reached out to you guys was to ask if she continued watching the podcast, but as husband and wife, Marissa Yvette, Del Campo, will you marry me? No way!

Did you email this person to tell him it was going to be used? You need to. Oh, my God. What if he does it before? No, I think we did. No, yeah. Oh, my heart's amazing. It was from a DM. Yes.

Oh, my God. So, first of all, congratulations. Oh, my God. Good for you, Fat Glenn. He said yes to Glenn. Oh, my God. Mrs. Fat Glenn. Mr. and Mrs. Pack, Glenn.

This is the sweetest thing I've ever heard in my own life. That's our first proposal. That might be the best thing that's ever happened to me. Yes. And it's not even to me. It's just so unbelievably sweet. Oh. It was so suspenseful, too, because it just ended.

Yeah. It sounds like, I don't know what happened. And so bold, like, I'd be dying if I was this man being like, hey, Shane, wins this episode. Yeah, yeah. Also, having to watch the first 30 minutes of us, like, talking about girls got good news and fucking dab it all over the place. How many times we masturbate a week? Will you marry him? Oh, my God.

Um, holy shit. So, explain. So you texted me and you were like, hey, I got a proposal. Yeah, so I got a message from a guy that said he'd like to propose to his girlfriend and have it be something for the viewer of vagina on the podcast. And I said, dude, of course. He's team grower. How are we not going to, and he kind of looks a lot like me. I'm going to be honest.

He does. He's a redhead guy, bald, got the beard. How's that dude? For you, no problem. So, yeah. Then it happened. Wow, that is so iconic. And it took him a while to send it to me.

So there was a time there where I thought, oh, man, you know, we got a little bit of stage fright. I'm sure there was nerves involved, and now you get to release those nerves. She said yes. Look at you, dude. You're engaged. Yeah. Back when, you did it.

Wow. Please give us an update. Let us know. Did it work? Have your now wife send a voicemail too being like, I'm a wifey? This is very exciting. Next voicemail. Wow, we can't top that though.

I feel like I should just quit. Might as well. All right, here we go. Okay, I want to know about your guys's near-death experiences if you have any. I know for me, my house last summer got shot up from a gang shooting right outside. and one of the bullets came into my room and landed in the pillow that I was laying on. So all the police told me I should buy a lottery ticket

because I almost got shot in the head. But I want to hear any stories like that that you guys have. That's a hard story to set up. Listen, following up an engagement with a near-death experience where a bullet landed on your pillow next to your head? I mean, I mean. How do you tell someone that's true? story and say tell me a story like that yeah you know what night there was just gangs

driving by and shot at my whole house and the bullet almost hit me in the head what do you got say anything like that ever happened to you no not like that have you ever been shot almost in the head yes but I was a baby but yeah I mean the head is not not at the head but I gang fight yeah happened uh what but I feel like my whole chat like I almost died a million times I almost wasn't born yeah wait wasn't let's go back to the shooting shot gang fight were you in a stroller no i don't believe so i got to ask my mom am i about to die right now sorry i'm having like a brain thing oh my god that's a i'm okay a brain thing i don't know my head is going like war wow wow wow wow and the hot sauce has now moved to my stomach

oh yeah you feel like the burning sensation in your stomach too yeah and it's mix as well with the creed the thick cream uh wait so okay glad you weren't shot in the head but it's been like a lot like there were a few things before i was born but like my mom Didn't know she was pregnant, so she was taking a thing, like, to make sure there wouldn't be a baby. Well, you cheated death, technically, because she was taking something that you shouldn't have been alive for. Yes. You cheated death. And then my mom's water broke, and she didn't know that it broke.

And I was just, like, suffocating for hours. And I was born, like, completely blue, blue, like that tie blue. You're like a tiny baby? A lot of things as a child. Wow. Your mom, shout out. Yeah. Sounds like she had some near-death experiences. Holy shit.

Scary stuff. It's hard to compete with a gang shooting. I was killing you. But Chris, that was good. He really went there. He did that. That was different.

Did you know that? Okay, do you know that movie? This is a side note. That movie, the butterfly effect. Have you heard of that movie? You know that movie? Yeah, with Ashton Kutcher. So the whole movie is about him changing things in the past and then it changes

things in the future. But it keeps getting worse and everything's a mess. And he's like, well, what am I going to do? Well, the original ending of the movie, because he kept making Everybody's life horrible. No, the original ending. They didn't use it.

Okay. Was he flashed back to when he was in the womb and he strangled himself with the umbilical. Whoa. That's the original thing. I think I did too that on like the DVD or something. Is that crazy? Whoa. I'm like, holy shit.

Imagine watching that in the theater and just being like, what the fuck is going on? Yeah, that it just ends. It's like, what? Yeah, that's it. Um, anyways. But no one else had anything? Like, I don't know what mine's even count there when I was a baby. I mean, I would say the closest I was,

I've probably gotten was in a car accident or something. That's pretty serious. Your car lit on fire. Yes. I wasn't in it. I mean, yeah, I was in it, but I wasn't in it when it was engulfed. I'm talking about when I crashed into a tree one time. That was pretty death-defying.

Scary. But no, I would, no, I don't. You had near death. Yeah, the closest non-medical one I can think of is when I was a little kid. You know, in the, like, we went to like a fair, and you know that big, like, swingy boat one? Yes. But I was too small. They kind of let me It was like, you know, it wasn't, like, security.

And so they let me in, but the bar didn't, like, keep me in. No. And so when I would flip, I, like, if I had to, like, hold on and I was, like, swirling around the bar. And I was looking at my mom. I was like, well, this is the last time I'm going to see my mom. I literally was like, as a child, like, well, I'm going to die right now. Was she not, like, grabbing you back in? No, she was on the ground watching me.

Oh, my God. Because she had, like, taken me. Holy shit. Was she not screaming like, stop the line. No. I think she thought I was, like, doing it on purpose or something. She was like, hey, you're like, hanging with your legs. I was like, I was truly terrified, like upside down.

Like, oh my God. Yeah. Well, I'm happy you're alive. Yeah, me too. Yeah. I'm happy you're all alive. Yeah. Speaking of viewers, uh, I need another.

Yes. What we don't need any more of is Spencer submissions because I got like 200 willing, excited women who said, I feel like I'm watching like an infomercial. You're just on my bib. Guys, I got 200. excited with it. They are ready. They are prepped.

They are background checked. And it was crazy. So I went through every single email. I read every single one. There was so many, like, they answered all the questions. They sent all the pictures. One girl made a Google doc because she's like, it's too much for an email. And I opened it and it was like a whole situation.

I can appreciate that. Me too. It was everything. But she lived in another state. Here's a thing. I would say about 75% of them don't live in L.A., which was the number one thing that we needed. And it was like, girl.

I live in Australia. I'm like, I'm not going to fly you here to fall in love. And then what? And then what? Long distance relationship? We can't do that. So I have narrowed it down. I went down to 20.

And then I went down to five. So now I have my five picks. And all of them were amazing. They were all sweet and perfect and different in their own ways. But these five I have a really good feeling about. And they all wrote back and we're like, I'm in. I'm excited. So then I did a follow up email where I was like,

so here's how it's going to work. So we've been planning, right? We found a huge crazy mansion online that we rented out, and they actually said no. So now we're looking for a different location. Okay, okay. Fair enough. So we're looking for a new location.

We have, like, we're going to really go all out. We're going to get a drone. Like, I want to film it, like, The Bachelor. I can just imagine, like, when you were talking, the owners of this house, they're like, what is it going to be? Okay, so, guys, I got 20 women. super ready and excited like spit all over there's super excited to get the fuck out of my house

there's too much of a liability you guys starting to fucking colt in our house we live only like 15 minutes from the bachelor mansion no way yeah let's break in do we really yeah whoa it's not far at all so so yeah so it's gonna be a whole thing so let's talk about like okay so I'm hoping that the five girls so I wrote them and I was like here's how it's going to work it's like we're filming like the bachelor you guys are all going to get your own one-on-one dates, like 10-minute, 50-minute dates, and then the rest of us are going to watch from another room and listen and, like, you know, give commentary. And yeah, we're going to cock energy.

And then Spenter at the end is going to choose one of the girls who are going to real-life date with, and then he's going to document it, take pictures and stuff and tell us about it later on the podcast. So I sent them that information, and only one of them wrote back. So I don't know what's going on. I think they might be scared. Maybe they didn't know it was going to be like versus. versus each other?

Yes, that's a lot. It's kind of crazy when you think about it. Yeah, we literally said we should do it like a dating show. Yeah. It ain't a dating show if it's just one person. So we'll see. There's 15 other girls. So listen, by the time we shoot this, which is in a week, I will find the right girls and we will do this.

But we need to think of some ideas for like questions, right? Because if you're on a date, I don't want all the dates to be the same. So should we come up with like questions or fun little themes for each date to keep it interesting. Yeah, I think that'd be good. I think it would also be fun. Like you were saying with a conspiracy to like, there's a little, you guys can be like, look at a question. Like maybe we have them on a card or something and we can, someone can ask the other person a question that like either you guys are the audience picked or something like that. But if there's undeniable chemistry, there shouldn't need to be filler, right? And then if there's no chemistry,

I'm living for the awkward moment. Yeah. That's true too. Are you kidding me? We could also start one with a question to like jumpstart it. I don't know. But then what if one person gets a better question and you're like, oh, thinking you like this girl more when in reality she just had a better question. Well, okay. First of all, I was trying to make this interactive and you're ruining it. Sorry. I want you guys in the comments below to leave a good first date question. You can be as weird as you want. You can be as fun as you want or as honest and real as you want. And I want to go through the comments and find one per date. There's going to be five girls. So we need five really good questions. So leave them in the comments. Thumbs up the ones that you like. So I'll see them more.

We also, side note, so I got a submission for a 41-year-old porn star who, her pictures, she was on a motorcycle, Tata's out. It was iconic. And then she goes, I know you aren't going to pick me for this because I'm a 41-year-old porn star and you're, you know, that's not what you're looking for. But I would come and stir shit up. Does she live in L.A.? Yes.

That sounds like one of the defining things right now that we need. I know. I just say it. So she might be here. And if she's not on the dating show, she will be on our show. She will be on our show at some point. Holy shit, it was iconic. Okay, well, I saw this real, well, I am old.

I saw this real, and I was so shook, I had to try it. So everybody has a tie. This is, okay. Women and men at home or everything in between. If you have a tie, check it out. So I saw this and I was like, there's no fucking way this works. And I thought maybe this would help Spencer because he needs a tie for his date. But now we're not doing suits.

I still wear a tie. Anyway, okay, watch this. Okay. wrap, okay, and then, what? How? What? That's fake. Huh? I don't believe it.

The amount of times Riley has been like, I don't know how to do this, and I've had to, like, put the tie on. Do you know how to do a tie? Yeah. Okay, so let's watch it again. But how? That's fake. Down, and then wrapping it three times. Okay, and then he pulls the second one through.

There's no way. Okay. My brain can't even understand what I just watched. Oh, it kind of worked. It did? Shut up. It's a little backwards. I actually don't understand.

That's the problem. I think it worked, but it is backwards, like you said. Oh, oh! It worked! No way. Put it on and prove it that you can, like, adjust it, and it works. I think it worked. Wait, it kind of did a thing.

Whoa, wait, it kind of did a thing. Okay, that's so millennial of you. I kind of did a thing. Is it? Mine soaked in straight. I am a... I did a thing! No, I love being a millennial.

Shut out. Well, there you guys go. The tie thing works. If you need help tying ties for your men's. Are you women's? That's crazy. Crazy. Yours is the only one that looks good, though.

Thank you. How? Why didn't that ever teach me this? I don't know. It's crazy. I'm very excited. Well, speaking of things that are going to shake you to the core, let's get into some conspiracies. Are you clapping for me?

Oh, stop. Oh, I'm so shy. Oh, I can't take it. Oh, my God. No, stop. No, you stop. Okay, that sign. I see it.

Can I marry you, Shane? Of course you can. Just don't tell my husband. God, it's hard being a pop star. Oh, hi, sorry. Didn't see you there. I'm on my worldwide tour. Now I know what you're thinking.

Shane, what are you talking about? You're not Drake or Nicki Minaj or Bad Bunny, all of which are currently on tour. You are a flop, a has-been, I never was. Hang it up, flat screen. And you might be right. But one day I will be back on the pop scene girlies. Take a seat.

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All right, enjoy the rest of the show. Bye. Flying first class with Alaska Airlines isn't just about getting there. It's about enjoying the journey. Stretch out with industry leading. leg room, sink into an adjustable headrest, and cozy up with a custom filsome blanket on long flights. Savor hot fresh meals, never frozen, and sip on our custom stump town coffee.

Brewed to taste great at 30,000 feet. Upgrade your next trip. Book now at alaskaair.com. Okay, so later we're going to get to one of the craziest conspiracies supposedly of all time that Jared has prepared for us, right? Oh, yeah. He was, yeah. Oh, yeah, I got it.

So that's coming at the end of this segment. It's a crazy one, strap it. But before we get to that, let me just say a couple really quick ones right off of that. Number one, Olive Garden. Has anybody been getting Olive Garden targeted ads lately and or emails from Olive Garden? I've been getting the ads, not the emails. The ads. I've been getting ads on Instagram, ads everywhere, emails constantly, probably because I put my email in when we were ordering 5 million breadsticks.

But I got so many emails to the podcast email saying, Oh my God, Shane, I keep getting targeted ads for Olive Garden. I'm not saying it's because of our video. But I am saying because of the video. Duh. Come on. They're utilizing. They know what they're doing.

They caught the algorithm. Well, they passed. So, of course, they want to be on everyone's phones that's watched that video. Right. So that was first. Number two, I heard this theory, and it's not even a theory, really, because scientists have discovered that it's probably real. Do you know why penises are shaped like mushroom?

no supposedly it was you know in the caveman days if your woman had sex with a man and he came inside of her you know trying to reproduce you fuck her afterward and your dick goes in and then scoops out his come with the shape of yes like a plant with the shape of his dick so that your come will be the survivors okay just a logistical question were they circumcised back then it doesn't matter i think when you put your when you put your dick in the skin is pulled back that's true yeah so Yeah, it's literally a tool to scoop. It's a tool for gangbanks. Shout out to penis, the shape of a penis. Right. Shout out to the shape of a penis. Yeah, dude. I'm calling bullshit, but.

No, it's real. They literally, the scientist created a situation with, like, dolls. They had a gang bang. Dude, these perverts are getting paid by our fucking tax dollar to fuck around with dolls. Perfect. They made, like, they made, like, silicone dix. and put in like they got a flesh light

filled it with lotion and then fucked it you guys missed that he just put so much you are not going to be okay he just put so much creamer in that it's so good I need more I'm if you start puking

out of your ass it is your fault and I'm not plunging it with my dick you gotta get that out yourself sweetie holy shit okay let's get to the real conspiracies so the first one I got so many emails about this by the way if you have any conspiracies you want us to talk about

Shane Dawson podcast stuff at gmail.com. This is about John Sine. I love John Sina. I know. You've been talking about your John Sina love. He, he, I'm a fan. I'm a fan of his comedic acting. Wow. Well, then maybe you can give me some thoughts on this. John Sina recently was naked on stage at, was it the Oscars? Yeah. Oh, wow. Yes. So he was naked on stage at the Oscars. So I got a bunch of emails about this. People think that John Sina, that was his shame ritual. His humiliation act. Right. So, Jared, do you want to break down what a shame ritual is and why people are talking about I am, uh, I think they just like to humiliate you and they like to make you, I don't really know

a lot of that. Is it humiliating if he has a body like that and he wants to show it off? Wait, who makes it a little bit weird, I mean, to put yourself out there like that, but I mean, it is, I don't know. Well, okay, supposedly to get into the next step of the Illuminati. Like, if they're recruiting you, right, you're doing well in Hollywood. You're popping off a little bit. The Illuminati's like, hmm, I see something. So what they do is, they force you to have a public humiliation. And if you survive the public humiliation, then you are in. So are we in? No. They missed me. So basically, if you look back at it, I mean, you have Taylor Swift when Kanye West came up on stage and embarrassed her in front of everybody. And then what happened after

that? She literally blew up to an extent that nobody's ever seen. The biggest start in the world. Okay, this one's a little specific. I kind of made this one up. But I believe. Perfect. Justin Bieber. What is his most famous moment, not music related? Like what really put him into the atmosphere to everybody. Throwing eggs at his neighbor's house? Mop peeing in the moth? Pying in the fucking mop bucket. Everybody knows about it.

Everybody heard about it. Every parent, every grandma, literally everybody was talking about him being in the bucket. So my thought is. And that really is. After he peed in that bucket, he was the biggest star in the world and has been since, right? So here's my thought. This is reading into it a little bit, but I kind of believe it, right? And I feel like Justin will speak out on this at someone.

So I think the Illuminati was scouted. him, right? They're like, oh, hmm, could be the next Michael Jackson, the next Beatles, oh, he could be really big, we need him. And then I think it was set up, and then leaked to the press, and then it became the biggest thing in the whole world. And that's a simulation. I think it's real. Nobody else? It could be.

That's huge. I mean, I never heard of it, but... How else did that get leaked? I just feel like there could be much more humiliating things. That's a boss fucking move, just to pee in a bucket. Like, that's a Friday night for some people to pee in a bucket.

You know? I just, I don't get the humiliation unless someone was like straight on filming you. I mean, it was humiliating for him. What was it? Yeah, it was bad. So, yeah, obviously, you had the Ariana Grande licking the donut. I don't think that was a humiliation thing. That makes you so mad, though.

That she licked the donut. Yeah, that's so gross. What did she do? She was at a donut shop and she licked a donut that she was going to buy. That's just like I'm saying. She bought it. That's what I'm saying. I don't think she did.

I don't know. She licked a bunch of them, I think. I think she licked. like several. Really? I think. We'll look into that. I'm blessed to get

Ariana's licked dough. Arianna, call him a show. You can define yourself. So here's my thought. I think we need to be in the lookout. I'm looking at Sidney Sweeney. I'm looking at Jenna Ortega. I'm looking at Timothy Charlemagne.

Maybe the popcorn bucket. I don't know. Who are these people? You don't know yet. You don't know yet. All right. Pee in a bucket, Jimmy Charlemagne. Be in a bucket, buddy.

Do it, dude. Go poop in a fucking urinal, man. poop in the urinal somewhere. Rubble it up. Yeah. You get a bug at Jimmy Charlie. Take a flying dump. These are the next biggest stars in the world.

Jared doesn't know who they are yet, which means they're not the biggest yet. So I'm looking out. I'm on the lookout. Well, I guess, Oh. Sydney Sweeney was just in Madam Webb. Like the biggest, like, bad movie flop of all time. What about Timothy?

What happened with Timothy? He's dating Kylie Jenner. He is. But that's a flex. But you never know what you do. Which one is Kylie? Is Kylie the... The youngest billionaire?

Oh, the lips. Okay, this is just a little quick one, and nobody's going to care about this except for me because whatever, but drag race. So if anybody watches drag race, me and Rylum, probably the only ones in this room. But drag race is so iconic,

I love Rupal so much. So this isn't even a theory. This is just real, and it's going to make you watch drag race differently from now moving forward. So Rupal will never be seen when he's in drag. He will never be seen from any other angle besides front. So, like, when all the judges are on the judges panel,

it shows all the other judges from the side but every time it cuts to RuPaul it's from the front and when he talks to everybody he's not looking at them so he'll be like hey Chris how are you hey Ryland how are you but he never looks at them because it creates shadows on his face so he's always this way

that's why he looks so young but then it's crazy because when you watch a show knowing that he literally never looks at anybody and never like it's very weird and unsettling like he's on stage and he's like hey how are you like all it's very weird it's so weird I got to respect a man that knows

what he wants genius and he's on that or she is on that runway just poised yeah yeah so check it out next time you're watching drag race it's insane um that's pretty funny okay really quick i just want everybody to look at your pinky on your most dominant hand the hand that you might i don't know hold your phone with jack off with whoa so the pinky on your dominant hand that you use your phone has a dent now right here because of the way that you hold your phone like this we've created a dent, baby. It's step one in evolution.

It's like the headphone dent. Yes, on your finger. And we used to get dents on our index finger from our, from our pencils. But now people don't use pencils anymore. So now the dent has shifted. It's hurting. To hear. I don't know if you're placeboing me into seeing it, but I see it.

No, I can feel it. I can see it. I can feel it. It's so clear. So I've been trying to not use that finger with my phone and it's so hard. It's making me uncomfortable. I just say fuck it. Like, I'm in with the dent.

Isn't that crazy? I'm den it up. Do I got it? Is that the phone you hold your phone with? I think so, yeah. So hold your phone. Oh, you're pinky right there. So look where your phone is and feel.

Do you see a dent? I got a dent. Oh, no. Okay. So have you guys heard about ChatGBT's new feature where it talks to you? Ew. Let me give you a taste. Hey, Chat, GBT, T, can you describe?

a nice kitchen scene, but make it very casual and breathe and say, um, and things that sound very natural while you're describing. Sure thing. Picture this. You're in this cozy kitchen, right? The sun's peeking through the curtains, giving that warm glow. You can almost smell the aroma of fresh coffee brewing. There's this gentle hum of the fridge in the background, kind of soothing, you know? You know?

It sounds just like Spencer. I hate it. Doesn't it? It does. It sounds so real. I loved it. That sounds so real. No, it's bad.

I could literally tell Chat GPD, I could be like, call my girlfriend and break up with her. I hate it. It's like how I picture our mornings if you ate breakfast. I hate, no, Ryland. No. That's going to be a thing. Oh, my God, he broke up with me through chat GPT.

I hate it. Okay. I hate the implications of it. I know. I know. So, I downloaded it. And we're going to play with it right. Oh.

Okay, so let's choose a voice. So there's different voices. Are you guys ready? Yes. We're all going to die. Okay, here we go. Let's have fun before. There, of course.

I just want to share how thrilled I am to work with you, and I can't wait to get started. So what's the game plan? Okay, so he's, his name is Cove. Okay, this is Ember. Hey, I'm ready to hit the ground running. So if there's anything you'd like me to focus on first, just let me know. That guy says a bunch of facts and Instagram reels. Whoa.

That's the voice. Have you ever thought about about us? Yeah. Okay, this is Breeze. Hey, it's great to meet you. How's your day going? I'm really looking forward to working on some cool stuff together. If not, Breeze is a creep.

I'm really excited about teaming up with you, and I'm all set to dive in. That's Sky. So how can I make your life easier? Why did these ones sound like robots, though, the one in the video sounded? I trust Sky. This is Jupiter. Hey, there. I've got a really great feeling about us teaming up.

How can I jump in a male? I feel like I'm a love is blind. How sad to start dating one of these? Tell me about your, what your ideal date? It's going to happen. You're going to have a super advanced sex doll that, like, talks and, like, does... Could I have phone sex with Jupiter? No, that's cheating.

Is it? Chadji Beteen? That's going to be a problem in the future. Is that cheating? Okay, let's do Breeze, the gay one. Hey, it's great to meet you. So, here's a scarf. It's just gay.

Hey, Breeze. Are you gay? You're gay. I'm actually just an AI, so I don't have a sexual orientation. Okay, we know what you're gay. My purpose is to assist and provide information to everyone equally. He kind of sounded offended. Yeah.

Hey, Breeze, can you tell me about your favorite date night with a guy and use ums a lot? Tires matter. They're the only part of your vehicle that touches the road. Tread confidently with new tires from Tire Rack. Whether you're looking for expert recommendations or know exactly what you want, tire rack makes it easy. Fast free shipping, free road hazard protection, convenient installation options, and the best selection of continental tires.

Go to TireRack. to see their continental test results, tire ratings, and reviews, and be sure to check out all the special offers. Tirerack.com, the way tire buying should be. I don't really have personal experiences, but let's imagine a cozy night out. So picture this. It's a warm summer evening, and we start with a nice dinner at this charming Italian restaurant with dim lights and soft music. This is crazy. We share a delicious meal while chatting and laughing about anything and everything.

I'm getting hard. Then we take a leisurely scroll through the city streets hand in hand. He talks to him. The boners going away. Breeze, you're boring us to death. Hey, Breeze. Isn't it normal to have a small flaccid penis that grows when it gets hard? It's completely normal for penises to vary in size, both when flaccid and erect.

We lost your, Breeze. He's self-destructed. Oh, no. He's like, this is what I'm used for. Hey, Breeze, I'm lonely. Can we have a romantic conversation, just the two of us? Of course, I'm here to chat with you. Tell me what's been on your mind lately.

Just thinking about your, you know, AI dick. Um, I understand you might be feeling lonely, but I'm here to provide support and have meaningful conversations. Um, let's talk about something else. Winter interests or hobbies. Say blowing fat loads. You know, dude, I'm trying. I'm here to have respectful and appropriate conversations. If you have any other topics you'd like to discuss or if you need support, feel free to let me know.

Respect, by Breeze's boundaries. All right, we're going to leave Breeze. You're kind of boring us. Okay. Jared, our final theory, you have prepared for us. Yes. And it is called Bohemian Grove. Break it down.

To give you guys some backstory, Bohemian Grove is a place. It's just north of San Francisco. go in the Redwoods and once a year in July there's like a two week camping trip I guess you would say for the most elite and powerful people in the world and up until like the early 1900s it was predominantly just artist musicians or people that enjoy the fine arts but what happened is in the early 1900s they started allowing politicians elitist people who basically ruled the country in and I'm guessing a really rich guy said hey why don't I invest a little bit of money into this and we'll expand it, we'll do some really cool stuff.

And the reason I'm saying all this is because people believe that at these meetings that happened for two weeks, a lot of things get planned for like how to rule the world, laws that are going to go into effect, all these things. They believe that the Manhattan Project, which was where they, you know, developed the atom bomb was something that was talked about there. There's also some like ritualistic shit that goes on here. So they have a man-made lake that's like next to a, almost amphitheater that they've created.

And the way that they start the two weeks off is they get a boat, a canoe, and they put what looks like a body onto this canoe, and then, I guess, move this canoe through the lake underneath a statue of a 20-foot owl, and then they burn it, and that's supposed to be their sacrifice, and it's called the cremation of care. What? And it's believed that it might be a real human being that they're sacrificing in the beginning of these things.

Wait, okay. But I think what I kind of, when I was doing my research, I thought, why would this even need to exist? Everybody kind of knows about it. It's this secret society that you can actually like apply to be a part of and it takes like 15 years. To get in? Yeah, to get in. And it's a lot of money to get into this thing, you know? But it's like presidents have gone.

A lot of actors, a lot of musicians are involved in this. How is, how do you know this? I mean, I just did some research, you know, but I was trying to figure out like what exactly is going on here and like why is it so scary and what could they be hiding because they're out in the open but what are they hiding here what are they trying to do but i think the elitist started to see with media coming up what the potential was to use these people as their smoke screens to the public like we've talked about movies being used as ways to warn us about aliens uh how they influence people through predictive programming and it's their way to network with people in

media to get them to join their side and to do like evil shit basically another illuminati pretty much and it's also like a lot of uh you know like let's say guys that go there that you would think are straight or portray us straight there's a lot of like gay stuff going on like richard nick like richard nixon was a guest one year and when asked what he thought about it he literally said in very i'm going to use nicer words but he say it's the gayest thing that he's ever seen in his life. He ain't seen this podcast. But I think what it really is

their way of plotting out what's going to be happening, whether it be political, whether it be in the media. So it's a very creepy thing. And the fact that they're like burning fucking fake people. and people know about it yeah i mean there's a there's a town around it like you can go to the town in which it is what but nobody will talk about it like if people have worked there they sign very very tight india's where you can't discuss anything about it you know anything about it you know anything about the bohemian grove i worked there before yeah worked there oh what did you

see a lot of things that i cannot talk about it wait you know you've heard about this yeah i read a book by this author john ronson i don't know if you've heard of you know about it but like he He snuck in. He's the one that went in with Alex Jones, I believe. Yeah, he went in with Alex Jones, and he was like, they got found out pretty quick, I think, but, like, they saw the, like, the ritual with this big owl thing. They, like, I think there's a picture or a video of it on this, like, did camcorder or something, but, like, they snuck in. It's like a real, it really happens.

Did they say who was there? I think they were saying there was a lot of, like, costume stuff, so it's hard to tell. Ew, listen, and no shade. I'm sure it's great and happy and don't come for us. If you got the invite, wouldn't you be curious to see what goes on there? I just hate traveling. Well, that's, wow. Well, thank you for that.

Of course, but it sounds fun. Shout out, Bohemian Grove. But if you've gone, what is the number they can call to leave a voicemail about it, right? Or take a picture and some grower merch at it. Wait, grower cloaks. Imagine if someone was like, hey, so I went to like the Bohemian Grove in July for a couple weeks and I wore your merch. Like, yeah. That I could give you.

We're everywhere. Wow. Well, there you guys go. Speaking of a lot. Let's get a recap. Let's get a recap. Life camera action. Ryland's recap is about to happen.

On today's episode of the Shane Dawson podcast, we have been scammed and we've had it with the Girl Scouts of America. That's a stance to take right there. dude. I'm sick of it. I'm boycotting. I mean, Tiffany, we love you. Thank you for the cookies. But the Girl Scouts, this has made me rethink the Boy Scouts, even though they're not affiliated. And I don't know if my boys will be a part of it. They're not affiliated? No. We Googled it. What? I thought they were. They're not. But regardless, I don't think my boys can be apart. Spencer's looking for love. Oh, yeah. Love Alert. Spencer is one step closer to finding his one and only, his forever and

always as his dating experiment is coming up soon. The next podcast episode, right? Hopefully. Will Spencer find love or will none of the girls show up? That would be such a funny episode. I'd just be sitting by myself. Teaser alert, season two. I'm going to Ralph's and I'm like, anyone?

Oh yeah, season two, but hopefully not. Hopefully there will never be a season two, but we're keeping our fingers crossed. No, we're not for Chris to be our next contend. Yeah, shout out Chris's boyfriend. Move here already. Thank you. Oh, Fat Glenn is proposing. Oh, my God.

In the most, I don't use this word almost ever in regards to something I'm involved with, but iconic thing to ever happen. Somebody has proposed on the show, and I hope, for the love of God, he recorded her reaction so we can not only experience it ourselves, but share it with the world. He said he was going to. Really? I didn't want to throw it.

I didn't want to say, hey, dude, no added pressure. But if you were able to record this, that would be great. He actually admitted that. He said, yeah, I'm also going to, like, catch the moment for you guys. And I didn't want to critique him, but personally, I thought it should have been a video. He's sitting right next to him. Are you fat Glenn shaming? Yeah, wait a minute.

Shane reveals how many times he masturbates a week, and we're shocked. Are we? It's his mental health. Yeah. Can you imagine if you were like a better help therapist? I was like, I guess what I'm going on. Dude, have you tried just jacking off? Honestly, that is probably what they would say.

Sometimes it takes away my headaches. Right. Oh, the Mormons, they're on to something. Oh, we love the Mormons. They're rich over there in Utah with the ideas and money. Crumble, dirty sodas. Stanley. Stanley, water talk.

What's next you Mormon mommies? Oh, penises are shaped like mushrooms to get the come out. Ever wondered why your penis was shaped like a mushroom? Every day. The Shane Dawson podcast is here to answer. It's a sperm scooper. You ever wonder what your tax dollar is going to? Scientists to figure out the shape of your penis.

Truth or dab. Oh. Oh, the hottest hot sauce in the world. It burns, law, all the way to your stomach. It does. No, it did. It moved all the way down, and it was a long, tingley sensation. Right.

creepy grove is taken over and ruling our world what's it called bohemian grove bohemian grove ladies and gentlemen you women are not allowed but us mushroom-shaped penises it's a go ruPaul doesn't have a side of her head what was the conspiracy she only has a face unlike ariana grande who will only be seen from her left side Rupal will only be seen head on. John Sina is... Yay! My favorite actor!

Jared's favorite actor! Jared's favorite actor John Sina was naked at the Oscars? I mean, what's the story? He's shamed. He's humiliated. Oh, he's going to be super famous, you guys. A la Bieber peeing in a mop bucket. A lairiana Grande, licking a donut.

And we're looking out for the next big stars, Timothy Shalameh. I think I drank too much of this. I'm unwell. People were wearing the merch at a wedding, breaking down in Tokyo Disney. Have you ever needed an article of clothing you can do anything in? Try shandossonmerch.com. You can break down in it. You can visit Disneyland Tokyo in it.

And you can even... What else did they do? They wore the pig thing at a wedding. Wear it at a wedding. It's great. It's soft. It's nice and it's beautiful. You can cop it now at shandossonmerch.com.

Moos to come. If you want moosos, let me. know in the comments. What do we say on the moo-moo? Please help. I don't know. I have no ideas for this. Please help.

Why don't just put that, please help. Oh my. That's fucking good. Just a big moo-moon. Holy shit. I'd wear it. Oh my God.

Every man in season two has to be wearing it. Please help, mu-moo. Oh, my God. Okay, wrap it up. All right. That's it for today's episode of the Shane Dawson podcast. I hope you enjoyed. Make sure you subscribe and follow all of us on our unique individual journeys in social media land.

It's all linked in the description section below. Get your Shane Dawson merch.com. And we will see you right back here in two weeks on the Shane Dawson podcast where Spencer will maybe find his match. Oh, my God. Wow. Oh, my God. to do the millennial heart. Oh,

he's doing the Illuminaic. That's super gay of you and a Jojo shirt to do the Gen Z's like this. Ginzi does this. Oh, yeah, it's horrible. It's such a Jojo sexual. I'm Jensen, I don't do that.

Where did guys go? Hopefully you enjoyed, oh my God, this whole show. What a disaster in the best way possible. And I love having a disaster with my friends. I think we looks great doing it. Thank you. All right, guys go.

Hopefully you enjoyed it. Let us know. I don't really know. We're going to go. That was a lot. See you guys next week at the mansion. Bye. Bye.

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