The Shane Dawson Podcast - Celebrity Conspiracy Theories! Chipotle, Disneyland, and Eminem!
Episode Date: June 23, 2024Celebrity Conspiracy Theories! Chipotle, Disneyland, and Eminem! KIKOFF!! Get your first month for a dollar at https://GetKikoff.com/GROWER today. ROCKET MONEY!!! Try Rocket Money for free: https...://RocketMoney.com/grower Sponsor The Shane Dawson Podcast: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/the-shane-dawson-podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Hi, I'm Danny L'Priori.
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Our first conspiracy is about Chipotle.
It has gotten next level.
I can't use my card anywhere.
I can't eat anything anymore.
Shane, what are you doing?
Hey, welcome.
back to whatever the hell this is. Oh, my God. What the hell are we?
Street Razor Edition? Yeah. Okay, good. Street Razor Edition. Oh, my God.
Hey, get in the car. Let's go and press that bitch. I feel like Sandy and I are in the audience.
We're like race car wives. You guys are the prize. We're just holding the flag. We're the girls in the
front when like the race car drivers go. And they're like, show you titties. Yes. And we're like,
How much.
Okay.
There's a price for everyone.
This is a crazy day.
I have so much planned.
You have no idea.
Like, get ready.
We have the return of master debater, which copyrighted by somebody else.
So we need to figure out.
Really?
Yes.
We have huge updates about the Chipotle conspiracy.
And we have a very, very big life alert involving one of our beloved co-hosts who, thank God, is here right now.
I'm okay.
Praise the Lord.
Well, Chris almost died
So let's get to that
Okay, before we get to that, thank God you're here
Well, now it sounds stupid
It'd be like, what are we wearing?
No, I love what we're wearing.
Everyone looks really cool today.
Chris, what did you have?
What are you wearing?
I mean, I'm wearing a jacket from someone much cooler than me.
This is like what I wished I could be
like someone with like a very cool.
Like, do you remember Tron Legacy?
Have you seen that?
No.
That guy in that motorbike, that's what I, this is.
You know what I mean?
You look sickening.
Thank you.
Jared, I have no idea.
I don't know.
It was 3 a.m. when I bought this.
I think your street, there's a street name on it that just says Ellen.
I don't quite understand.
It says rich all over it.
It has a bunch of cool taglines on it.
Ellen is rich.
Yeah, I like this.
I can't button it up, but I really like it.
Okay, good.
Sandy, she came in this.
She looks so beautiful.
You literally do look like you would be cheering Jared on during history race.
I think, like, I really thought that was what was going to happen, too.
I don't know how I knew.
But I just, I must have known.
She was like, he's dumb, but he's my husband.
That's what I got, you know.
Rylan, I just went with a simple cloud hoodie.
I saw it and I thought it was cute.
You look so angry right now.
What?
No, I'm not angry at all.
Oh, really?
What's your rest of me?
I'm in a pretty good mood.
Oh.
No, no, you are.
We have had.
What?
I mean, it's been.
It's been.
It's been.
We're exhausted.
We'll get to that later.
Oh, yeah.
We are exhausted.
It's been a lot.
But we're happy.
Yes.
No, you would look happy.
I'm sorry.
I was judging your face.
Spencer, you are dressed like a, I don't even know what this is, but I saw it and I thought of you,
and I don't know what that says about you.
Yeah, I mean, I don't know what says about me that I actually really like it's very comfortable.
He looked good in it.
You look like you drink Mountain Dew.
He looks like he just came off the track, you know?
He has a countdown from when cold red is coming back.
I feel like he's doing BMX bikes.
You guys were racing.
He's in a little bit of a different arena.
He looks like his name is B-Rat.
I do like a trick over your guys' cars with my bike as you guys drive off.
Is it B-Rat the guy from Malibu's Most Wanted?
Yes.
Oh, my God, I love him.
Kimmy Kennedy.
Hey, that's me.
B-Rad G.
What's that?
Malibb...
Don't even come to Jamie.
Malibu's Most Wanted.
Never heard of it.
Oh, I love that movie.
Okay.
We got all of that out of the way.
Room, but let's make a pit stop.
Over to the medical center.
Okay, Chris, I don't know how much trauma you want to dump or how much you want to get into this.
I don't want to trigger you because I know talking about health things is a lot.
But we have all been praying and wishing you well.
Thank you guys out there for also doing that.
Do you want to tell everybody what happened?
What's going on and where it stands?
Yeah, definitely.
So a few days ago, like, I don't know, four or five days ago, I don't know where at like seven, eight in the morning,
I woke up to the worst stomach ache I've ever had in my life.
And I just felt as I was sitting up, I felt myself passing out.
And so I like, my boyfriend was next to me at the time and I shook him and I was like, I'm gonna pass out and he ran, got me water. I was like drinking. It wasn't helping and I like poured it all over my face and that kind of stopped me from passing out actually. It like worked enough to like keep me awake. And then he grabbed me and started like putting clothes on me because I could not do it myself. I could barely move and like rushed me to the hospital. I went in and the pain kept getting worse and worse. They gave me morphine did nothing. Gave me more morphine did nothing. Gave me more morphine finally helped. And then I was.
was kind of high and my boyfriend was laughing at me but then I was feeling okay actually wait you said
not to cut you off but earlier in the kitchen when you were telling us about this you said that on the
scale like you know they give you scale like from one to 10 and they give you like a happy face and
like a you know a ryan face yeah I'm kidding I'm kidding um and you were a rilin face you were 10 out
of 10 pain wise which I've never even understood what that means what so it was 10 it was it was the
worst pain I've ever felt in my stomach yeah and then they they they kept
like making guesses. They were like pressing
on my stomach. They're like, does it hurt here? Maybe it's
appendicitis. We did a CT scan.
They're like, you have acute appendicitis so you can remove
it, but we don't know if that's the problem. It might not
be the problem. Do you want to remove it and have a surgery
and not work for a month? Then I'm like, I don't think
I can afford to do that. Do I have to? Is that
what it is? Maybe not.
And I was like, then what?
Hospital. Were you in a hostel?
Do you go to a veterinarian?
Where did you go? Were you in a fucking hostel movie?
Were they just like, well just take this out?
And I don't know, they were amazing for the record. They all treated me really
well but I just have really weird abnormal symptoms so they didn't know what it was and they kept making
guesses and they did so many tests and then finally they were like I don't know maybe it's just like an
infection we'll give you really strong antibiotics go get that see how you feel in a week so I went to the
pharmacy to go get the antibiotics and then I was like I don't feel good and I went into the hallway
passed out again this time I'm woken up to women around me like shaking me and they're like he's shaking
he's seizing help him and I was like what and everything was like blurry and weird and felt like a dream
and then I passed out again and then I'm in the hospital
and I seizure again at some point there
my boyfriend tells me and yeah
I just then I had a headache I don't know if I fell
I don't know what happened in that time period
but I'm back in the emergency room
and they're like welcome back ultimately they couldn't figure out
what it was like they had a lot of guesses
they still want me to remove my appendix to be safe
just to rule it out but they don't really know
we're thinking it's that I say just get it removed dude
yeah just to be safe go for it I'm really
considering it just to check it off the noise not to make light of it but can you keep it or do
something with it i mean i just have to be can i have it yes do you have a history of fainting i i
have in the past when uh like there was a point in time many many many years ago when i had to
stop drinking because they were like oh you have pancreatitis was the first time i ever passed out
and had a seizure but then they're like you don't have pancreatitis but it's like things are still
happening and i'm still having stomach aches and i'm better but not fully recovered i still feel
awful well because of this
Number one, we postponed the show.
We made sure Chris was feeling good enough to do this.
Number two, I canceled my next Gypsy Rose Prison Hack Meal.
Just to be safe.
I'm sorry, Gypsy.
We'll get to you later, girl.
No, we're all hoping that we're figuring this out together as a group.
We're bringing in the comment.
We've got to find a doctor.
Dr. Mike.
Let's have him on the show.
But really, honestly, before, sorry, before we move on for this, I just want to thank you.
Like, everyone here was so nice and, like, everyone reached down.
You rescheduled the podcast, which I felt horrible about.
but I never reschedule work ever, and this is my favorite job ever,
and I felt horrible about it.
You were all really, really nice, and I appreciate you so much,
and I might be a little low energy today, but I appreciate it.
That's me every day.
Well, speaking of health, can we give a quick update on our journey?
This is big, and I literally, I was in the bathroom trying to get this deal going,
because I have an idea for competition.
A deal? Yes, I didn't tell you.
I have an idea for a competition.
Okay, so I am obsessed with walking.
Hear me up.
Hear me out.
This is a lifelong dream of mine for him, for us.
So this is really great.
So Ryan got obsessed with his steps, right?
Like, you know, looking at his pedometer, like on his phone.
He's like, oh, I need to get 10,000 steps.
And I remember when we worked to Jen and Craig, that was like the number that, like, you know, we tell our clients, like, give to 10,000 steps, you know.
Yeah, it's like, oh, you didn't lose weight.
Well, it's because you didn't watch 10,000 steps today.
Cut to me.
I got 10,000 one day.
And I was like, oh, my God.
I'm a fucking, I'm a fucking walk star.
So then I started being like, I need to top this.
So then the next day, I got 15.
And then I got one of those little treadmills that you can like put places, like a walking pad.
So Spencer was here and we were planning the podcast.
And he's sitting at the table and I'm in the kitchen on my treadmill walking with my Stanley.
And I'm just like, okay, what about a conspiracy?
I walked in and almost turned back around.
I thought this is too much for even me.
And I'm a step star.
Well, let me just show you.
Not to brag.
But let me just show you, like, I want to show you how crazy this has gotten.
I went from doing like 2,000 steps a day.
Garve, which is just like a problem.
Really like walking to the kitchen and back to the couch.
Yeah, right?
So I went from doing 2,000 steps a day or sometimes like 4,000.
That's crazy.
Now I'm up to like 27,000 steps a day.
Wow.
That's incredible.
Thank you.
20,000, 27,000 steps is a shit ton of miles.
But now it's, but now, by.
I think the problem is it's feeding into my addiction, which is like I need to, A, beat Ryland,
and I need to be beat myself.
And I need to every day see it.
I'm like, ooh, if I get to 30, oh, if I get to 40, ooh, if I get to 40, ooh, and now I have treadmills all over the house.
I have my watch, my Apple Watch strapped to my foot.
Like, I'm going crazy.
So then I started thinking, I want people to join in on this fun.
What if we have a Walkstar competition?
So here's what my thought is, right?
I'm reaching out to brands right now.
I'm trying to, like, find one of our sponsors for the show to sponsor the Walkstar competition.
What's the sponsor? I don't get it.
The sponsor.
So it will be like, you know, this brand is sponsoring our Walkstar competition.
The winner gets five grand or whatever and we walk for a month.
And we've got to be 10,000 for 10,000 steps.
Well, Shane is nothing.
10,000 is nothing.
Listen, I honestly think that Jared and Sandy have the life hack.
Number one, Jared is crazy.
And if he knows this is a competition, he will walk for eight fucking hours at 7-11.
I've done it with people before.
and I decimated them
to the point where they had to quit.
They felt bad about themselves.
I don't know if you've...
He collapsed himself.
Fuck, yeah.
I don't know if you've met your brother recently
and he's going a little crazy.
But Jared, hello, same brain.
We're going to end up in the ER together.
Maybe we shouldn't be in this.
Let's let you heal for a minute
before we start the walk start.
No, you got to walk it off.
Isn't that the sun?
And then Sandy has a life hack.
What did you say earlier?
Go to Disneyland.
Because last time I went, I think I got like 32,000 steps and it just was one day.
Those are huge days.
So that's what I think I want to do.
So hopefully a sponsor will reach out and let us know in the comment.
I'm just curious.
I think I asked this in your vlog too, so I'm doing this too much.
But like let us know in the comments what your steps are for today because I never even checked mine before.
I didn't even know your phone did that.
Oh, yeah.
Did you guys know that?
Your phone just does it.
But it has to be in your pocket.
I wear mine around my neck.
Unfortunately.
How many steps do you have today?
What?
I've been walking so much than my Apple Watch died, so let me tell you on my phone.
Wait, how do you find it out?
Okay, so if you go to your health app, and then it's just right away, it's just like steps.
I'm having a low day because I've been stationary at my computer.
How many steps?
So today I only have 12,000.
That's a lot.
Oh, fuck.
I don't want to read my number.
My last month, my average is 10,856.
Whoa.
It's a good start.
It's a good start.
My, today was 2,000.
900. My average is 3,207 is my average. It's really bad. That's horrible. You got to step it up. I'm at 3,200. Okay, period. Mine is probably bad because I haven't gotten, like, addicted yet. My average is about 4,000. I got to step it up. Sandy, did you look at yourself? Well, yeah, so my, for I just saw the one for today, and it's a little bit low, or it's a little bit underneath 2,000, but my phone died like half of the day. Oh, that doesn't happen. Oh, that's a good. And I, like, and I, like, and I, like, and I,
never really have with my phone but at work i do have a stand-up desk now so i'm excited to like walk
it off did they make shoes that allow you to walk in place that's fucking genius i don't know but they
should so guys step it up get ready for the walk star competition leave your guesses who's going to
win and what should the prize be and who should the sponsor be and honestly it's very fun
because now he wants to go on walks with me and it's just great quality time to hang out
Except I'm only doing it for stuff.
Like, let's not fucking fuck around.
Like, I'm not doing it for, like, romance.
It's for stats.
I feel like you should get, like,
T-shirts made and, like, numbers the way they do, like, at marathons.
Yes.
Um, well, we're going to take a quick little break.
And when we come back, vagina?
Already?
Already?
Yes.
See you guys soon.
Oh, don't mind me.
I'm just taking a walk on the Golden Gate Bridge.
Right?
I don't know.
So, yeah, this is my new life now.
This is my walking desk.
I'm no longer sitting.
I can go up and down.
Hold on.
This is, by the way, not sponsored by this desk.
We're going to talk about Rocket Money in a minute, which is one of the best sponsors of all time.
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But just check this out.
Oh.
Oh, she's on the move.
And the cords are getting fucked up.
Okay, hold on.
Sorry.
So yeah, I wasn't getting around.
This is my life now.
This is me.
What am I doing?
Rocket Money.
Okay.
Yes, this is where my ads are going to be for now on.
I need to figure out a background because why are we still on the bridge?
I walked past that.
Oh, hold on.
Oh, the Tengunah.
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And they sell it.
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By the way, Ryland, that sweater is making your eyes pop.
Thank you.
It's really pretty.
See, I've said that so many times because it's whenever he wears blue that I can't stop staring at his eyes.
And I didn't want to say for the million times.
I think he was trying to hypnotize you today.
Okay, we're back.
And I'm such a fucking idiot.
Loser.
It's walking brain, dude.
It's the walking brain.
So I totally forgot we're not doing vagina yet.
We have mastered a baby.
So I very quickly found out because of my homepage, I never Googled Master Debate, I should have,
but my homepage turned into a bunch of Master Debate videos.
That's crazy.
But so many people, like Smosh has a Master Debate show.
There's like a meme about Master Debate, like a Master Debate guy.
Wow, so our original idea wasn't original.
Well, no, the game is original, I think.
Like, I don't think it's like this, but a name.
So we have to come up with a new name.
I'm thinking we could also just work in Master Debate.
We could just call it like everybody Master Debate.
Yeah, yeah.
Group master debate.
Group master debate.
We got a dot organ.
You know what I'm saying?
Dot com is taken.
We dot organ.
Okay, so if you don't already know, we played this a couple episodes ago.
This is a game that we made up, and we love it because it causes us to all fight.
Last time it got actually intense to a point where Chris texted and was like, I'm sorry if I got too crazy.
And I was like, girl, I want you to get crazy.
That's the point, movie.
I apologize to Ryland when I left because I was like, wow, I've never been so heated about anything in my entire life.
And I was like, relax.
brother. I had so much. I was like, I've never had so hard. I was like, is this what a cuck
feels like? Like, I'm watching you guys go out of it. It's weird that you like watching it,
but if it's aimed at you, you would feel offended. Like if it was me battling you,
if it was me versus you, you'd be like, you're such an asshole. Well, let's do it again.
Okay, so this is childhood themed or nostalgia themed. Nostalgia.
Nostalgia, yeah, yeah. So, Spencer, we have categories. You have all of our answers in case we
forget. So, Spencer, who's going first? What's the category? Ooh, I'm excited.
So the first category is going to be Best Childhood Toy. And Sandy is going to be our master debating
judge. And I guess we don't have a name for the person deciding yet. Ready? Introduce Shane.
Oh. Hailing out of Los Angeles, California, in his Oakley full scope sunglasses
sunglasses on a Kawasaki engine. It's the leader.
Day!
So famous, he doesn't even have to have a last name.
Shane coming in with robotic flubber statue.
Very unique decision.
Nobody knows what that is.
Flubbers starring Robin Williams, where it's like the little slime guy, and he's like,
oh, Chris, you'll love it.
And he's like big and fat.
But when you press him, he dances, and he goes, ooh, yeah.
Shouldn't it be nostalgic for everyone?
How can you debate for that if we didn't.
Okay, okay.
Let's introduce everyone.
Let's introduce everyone.
Water was a box office smash.
Let's introduce everyone before we start doing this.
Ryland's already taking people down.
Oh, my gosh.
Okay.
I won.
He's ready.
Next up, speaking of, we got Ryland.
Coming out of Los Angeles, California, via way of Colorado.
He's wearing blue.
It matches his eyes.
It makes them stand out like an ocean.
It's...
Rylan!
Wow.
Dude, I was like, I didn't even think of it.
that until I did it.
You just channeled that.
That was crazy.
God.
Oh, yeah.
That was incredible.
Ryland is coming in with the boppin.
Bam, bitches.
That's good.
That's good.
And educational.
Uh-huh.
And competitive.
Like, you really want to beat your peers.
Yeah.
And your penis.
Well, is it one of them, pull it.
Bop it.
Okay.
Twisted.
Twisted.
Right.
Spit on it.
That's one of them.
Yeah.
Very massive.
A fart.
Well, speaking of farting, we got that.
Chris coming up next
Come be God of Los Angeles, California
He had a stomach cake
It's currently undecided
But we're hoping it gets better
He's wearing a leather jacket
His name is Chris
We're of a dog
But Chris is coming in with a classic
With Nintendo 64
Rich
That's big because there's a lot of games
Everyone one of the best systems ever made
Seems like more than a toy to me
though. I asked Spencer's opinion in advance.
I feel like, we'll let it slide.
You might know him as the announcer of
mafia. The guy
with the dating show.
He rides bikes. He's cool.
Mountain Duke code red.
Hey, Lingana,
Los Angeles, California.
It's Spencer.
That one scared me that intro.
So mine are.
those foam Hulk hands.
Do you guys remember
I love those.
We're good.
And finally, Jared,
a little self- intro.
And last,
but definitely not least,
he's wearing the coolest
jacket he's ever born in his life.
He's sitting next to the most
beautiful woman in the world.
Hailing out of Los Angeles, California.
It's Jared.
Woo!
Luckily,
Luckily, we have ours in our names.
Wow.
Thank God.
Jared's coming in with Pogs.
Oh, my God.
The original gambling.
You're already debating for me.
Do you want to refresh my memory?
So Pogs were originally out of Hawaii,
and they were the undersides, a little plastic insert underneath the milk cartons,
and they'd have two sides, a heads and a tails.
You would bring one to the table.
I would bring one to the table.
We put them both face down, and then we have, like, a large slammer they're called.
And this would be like maybe a half dollar compared to the little plastic insert.
You'd slam it down.
And then if you flipped them both, you kept them.
Yes.
Seems like Bop it might be more fun.
No, Pops.
Everything.
You don't remember.
And then you take them to school.
Then they started outlawing it.
Like you couldn't bring Pogs to school.
I actually got caught stealing Pogs when I was younger.
And it was pretty bad.
And then Mom and Dad wouldn't let me have them anymore.
But shout out to Grandma who let me keep them upstairs.
Wow.
And is Sandy the judge because she doesn't have one?
I'm so excited.
about this.
Okay.
I may have had one of these toys on my list.
Do you favor?
No, flubber!
I've also had like five or like six answers for each of these categories.
Oh, okay.
Perfect.
She's a decisive.
I'm going to go through really quick.
That is promoting gambling.
The Boppet is like promoting ADHD, which like we're fighting against.
We're trying to like heal that.
Promoting four.
Stand too close to the screen and your face freezes that way or whatever.
And then Spencer's.
The whole kit.
The whole kit.
Those are too scary.
and abuse it.
Abuse.
Yeah, it promotes abuse.
Yeah, it promotes abuse.
I agree.
Flubber promotes body positivity because he was happy in his curves.
It promotes a science and fun.
It also is a nice memorial to Robin Williams, Russ and Pete.
So, in my eyes, Flubber is not accessible to anyone.
Flubber is the original Shrek.
I did love Flubber.
Flubber was a good movie.
It was a great movie.
Anybody else?
Anybody else wants to fight that?
I mean, the Boppet is classic, iconic fun.
You don't even need to have.
somebody else to be entertained by the Poppet. But then you'll be playing and you'll make a friend
because somebody's like, what's that? And then they want to play. And then you need to beat their
score and it will promote hours and hours of fun while your parents can be like, wow, they're
not looking at a screen and they're enhancing their abilities. I feel like if you brought a Bopit
to school, you probably get made fun of. Not very cool. But if you brought Pogs to school, and just
so you know, the gambling aspect is if you're playing for keeps. You don't have to play for
keeps. You could just play for fun
and just put it like this. I almost got
arrested because I was so excited
about Pogs. How good
did you steal Boppets when you were younger?
Were you that into it? I'd never even heard of Pogs.
It sounds awful. And it's not just
sitting in front of the TV. I don't
know exactly how you play with the Flubber Blubber.
It doesn't sound healthy. Your husband
was almost a criminal.
I don't want to give anything
away yet, Chris. I'm
curious what game on Nintendo's
64 are you really going to hone in on it on well would that be two uh toys though at this point
and it's a lot of screen time because if he picks the wrong game oh yeah yeah yeah what game chris
i mean there's so many good ones there's so it's hard to pick like you got to do but one of my
favorites was like the double seven golden eye james one was like a thing we all love and then like
there's like there's like there's all these like classic get by the way which like
nintendo and mario just got its own land at universal studios right now like it's on area
because it's still that iconic.
Like, Nintendo actually reached out to the owner of Poggs,
and they can we license our characters to be on Pogs.
Respectfully, I've also never even heard of Pogs.
See, that's two out of the, a lot of people here.
Nerd Alerts.
Did Poggs only make it to Long Beach?
No, Pogs were a thing.
Pots were made.
You were just too busy bopping it in your room by yourself while we were out playing Pogs
with each other, right?
I don't know.
We have some more interactive.
It's similar to Pugs, a little more.
fun, a little more active, a little more safe
because of the foam padding.
You want to fight your...
I'm going to fight my brother, I'm going to fight my brother. You're going to do a lot of damage.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Dude, we all...
Promoting violence?
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
And brain and body injuries?
Well, I can see how there would there be brain and body injuries
if you were just using your bare fists, but
cover them up with some nice hulkans. They make roars
whenever you hit. Twin Hack.
Did you use them to beat up kids who played with Boppets?
Jared's so...
They're so fun.
Bothered by the Boppet because he knows it's a
He knows it's a big threat.
Are you guys curious to know what the best selling toy of all time is?
No.
Hot wheels.
Why was it that your choice?
It's probably Barbie, no?
Because...
That was a good choice.
Barbie, that's better than flubbers.
Okay, that made easy.
We're right.
The Barbie is unsurprisingly the best answer to Barbie.
People are still buying in 64s, by the way.
Currently, right now for a lot of money.
I will sell mine.
You guys want to know some others you missed that are popular?
No.
Legos, Teddy Bear, Tomogachi, Star Wars figures.
Tomoguchi and the Yo-Yo!
He's willing to abandon Boppant because he knows they're so bad.
I'm standing on Pogs.
I wasn't really hearing Hulk hands in there.
The Hulk's a pretty popular guy.
I think Hulk hands and flubbers are in the same category.
At least you can play with the Hulk.
If I did have to pivot from Boppet, it would be the yo-yo.
I love the yo-yo.
And you can get the light-up ones, the spinning ones, the tricks.
Oh, my God.
Make them walk.
You know?
Yes.
Locked up.
Okay.
This is very difficult.
I know it wasn't.
Chris, I was really hoping you were going to say the duck game.
Oh.
I missed the breathing into the game, you know.
I'm going to have to give it to the pogs.
And it's not because we're married.
No, definitely not.
This is bias.
And it is unfair.
We need a third party, non-biased judge here.
Ryland, I need you to know the two answers I submitted were N-64 and the fox.
for and the boffin.
Really?
And the boffin.
I do want to confirm with Spencer
that what of my answers
was Pogs on my age.
Really?
Yeah.
You've heard of it?
It's because you guys are from the same area.
It doesn't count.
Wow.
Okay.
Next category.
The next category is best
childhood or nostalgic musician.
Oh, no.
Yes.
I forgot my answer.
Well, you're judging.
You didn't give an answer.
Oh, nice.
Oh, no.
That was a little sassy.
Yeah, yeah.
I bet shame to what I wanted.
It's a little heated from not winning.
You better you have those whole cans
You can punch me
All right
So we have Sandy with
In sync
Yes
Chris
Chris has Blink 182
Ooh
Wow
Ryland
I think you said this way earlier
Eminem
Oh my god
Yeah
Okay
Shane with Avril Levine
Period
Didn't show up to her
Greatest Hits of all time
concert
So I don't know what that says about you
Anyways
That puts it off the table right there.
There was just too many good ones to pick from.
There really are.
And I was just debating between two songs that were huge.
At my school, it was either Flo Rida with that song low.
But then I figured the thing that was bigger that I remember more was
Rihanna with that song Disturbia.
Disturbia.
It came out when I was in fifth grade and everyone.
Every school dance was like playing up.
Fifth grade.
You know who is the biggest boy band ever in sync?
I say back to your boys, but it was in sync.
I mean, Justin Timber, like, hello, his hair.
Oh, know your audience.
The hair ain't kidding.
His Eminem had cooler hair.
We got bye, bye, bye, by, bye.
I mean, it's going to be May.
Now, listen, I don't want to stomp all over your in sync,
but, like, I'm so, I'm so anti-boy band and anti-Britney
because I'm punk and also.
Whoa.
I got to give some dedication points.
I'm ripping her on my shirt.
to cause her he didn't go to the
Sandy got him
This shirt might have been
a gift from Sandy things
Wait wait
Cheese curds talk more about cheese
Okay
That album I used to like listen to
Every single day I know every song
Oh this is about me trying to
Who am I convincing?
Me
Okay yeah yeah
So Aver Levine
She writes her music
Does she?
Yes
She started when she was 16
That's so scary
And then she but she's kept
Relevancy
It's 2024
It's been 20 years
still killing it, still relevant,
still selling out arenas that your wife went to.
And Abra Levine is just cool and, like, awesome.
And she loves conspiracies.
Her clone Melissa is doing really well.
And she's involved in a cool conspiracy.
And she's involved in one of the coolest conspiracy.
And complicated, come on.
Come on.
That is great.
Okay, can we just switch it up now?
I didn't realize we're going to bust out T-shirts.
Cybra, one of mine.
Come.
O'Leia.
They're nice.
I'm just switching up the princess of R&B.
She was on Queen of the Damns.
She had hottest hits with my boy Timbalin.
Wait, what are we doing right now?
Whoa, it's a wild card.
Are you switching it up?
I'm just, hey, I'm bringing up the big guns right now.
Okay, RIP, Alia.
You know what you're just bluffing me with Insync?
Whoa.
Wait, wait, wait, can she just change like that?
Wow.
Okay.
So I'm pretty much, I pretty much want.
Well, that's cute.
I think there's no.
argument for Eminem and I think my audience which is Jared has to agree we have a rap superstar I mean
this guy has great hair he has the best-selling albums you said higher than the queen herself
Britney Spears. Oh he's doing a lyrical genius as far as I'm concerned when it comes to rap. He is goaded.
He is goaded. I will say Ryland's obsession first of all I love Eminem but the other night
Ryland was like have you seen Eminem's new music video and I was like oh no and he's like
watch it. He's like do you get it? Do you get the reference? That's him when you're
That's some shady.
And I was like,
he collaborates with himself.
I love that you love him?
And then he acts as his like problematic self
from back then reacting and living in today's world.
And I thought that was the better half of the song,
quite honestly.
I think he could do away with the brown hair
and just go straight back to where he was in today's world.
Lopping it.
He's definitely iconic.
And Jared, I think, is that someone, Eminem is someone
who's Jared is going to appreciate.
But also, like, Jared loves punk rock.
That's something we have in common.
And like Blink 1282 is one of the most famous punk rock fans of all time.
And they've torn down like every,
Well, you just lied when we had a conversation.
No, no, I don't know if Blink is punk rock, but they're pop-pom.
I'll turn it, I'll turn it in it.
Yeah, okay, I'll give them a punk.
They're not punk like a-abro.
They're early stuff.
They didn't even make it.
And they, what?
They're not together.
Yes, they are.
But they do?
As like a piece together.
Oh my God, the original guy from the album, no one knows is gone.
Tom DeLong is a, it is the goad of alien conspiracies.
The drummer is married.
I'm helping you.
Yeah, no.
I mean, they're still.
incredibly relevant. They made a new album that like topped Billboard charts. They are in like every
American Pie movie, which are some of the like movies of our time that like a lot of, at least
guys from our generation really enjoyed. They had a song in all those movies. They were in the
Simpsons. I did go to the new tour. It was insane. Some of the best visuals I've ever seen. They're
killing it better than they ever have. And they're like at the top of their game and still relevant
after all these years. They're incredible. They tear down the mainstream stuff. You know, they tear down
everything we don't like Tarrant.
Okay.
Strong. You had some points there that I could
appreciate. If we're talking about relevancy
who just played the
Super Bowl, I don't know when,
not that long ago.
Usher? No, Rihanna.
You all carrying my baby.
Yeah, she was pregnant.
She was pregnant. She was pregnant.
She was pregnant. She's had an insanely
long career. Like, being number one.
She didn't even have to put out music
to stay relevant. Yeah, exactly.
I probably rather might know more about it.
She loves music so much.
She just abandoned it completely.
And what's cooler than that?
I would like to say something.
Spencer, you should just try to dust yourself off and try again.
As a lyric would have loved to collab with.
So I'm sorry, but Aaliyah's got to be the win.
But you know, Eminem did collab with Rihanna.
Oh.
Alia wins.
Yes.
She knows.
Alia wins.
A legend.
Close number two, though, is Eminem.
Yeah, I mean, of course.
Right, right, right.
And then Avril.
Oh, it ain't complicated.
It's number three.
Thank you.
And what's workplace again?
And then Spencer, wamp, womp, I'm kidding.
I'm just kidding.
Be careful.
Rihonah's people will come here.
You don't want the Navy coming after you.
I mean, Rui is amazing.
She really is incredible.
And her collaboration with Eminem, got to love it.
Okay, the next topic is going to be best childhood snack or drink or candy.
Basically snack.
And Shane is going to be judging this one.
Yeah.
Fight for me.
Okay, well, what's yours, Judge?
I'm not going to give that away.
You'd like to fight for it.
Okay, well, Ryland, the one you sent is Circus Peanut.
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Oh, y'all.
An insane choice.
Even took himself out of this one.
Okay, you can have a backup.
You can have a backup.
No, I'll stand by my circuses.
I'll stand by my circuses.
I'm going to fight for it.
You know, they don't hit, like, I remember.
Like, I was at a gas station.
Perfect.
No, but as a child, those are, they're still very nostalgic to me.
And I do love them.
I love the chewy.
We're not debating.
Yeah, hold on.
We got to introduce everyone.
Oh, I thought we were debating.
You guys have things, too.
Jared is coming in with sour cream and onion pringles.
Oh, barful.
That's ya, pop.
Sandy, coming in with fun dip.
All right.
Okay.
Chris is the only drink category with Capri Sun.
Ooh, used to be better.
Don't come from me though.
It used to be way better when we were a kid.
That's what I'm talking about.
That's that one.
And I'm finishing up with sour skittles.
Oh, I love.
Hold me back.
Okay, this is going to be tough.
You guys have to literally choke each other out.
Like, this has to be a full on ball.
Okay, keep here you guys.
Because there are three in here I want.
Everybody.
Okay, have you ever had so many sour skittles that it, like, chemically burns your tongue?
Strong, dude.
Strong, heart.
That's how good they are.
They're so good that I'm willing to eat in a bag.
I'm willing to burn the taste buds off my mouth because they're so delicious.
And that powder at the bottom of the bag.
When you put like 20 in your mouth at once and you just let it burn.
My jaw hurts like the side of my mouth just thinking about the pain I would endure.
And the only way to call myself down would be probably to pop up in a can of pringles.
Because once you pop, the fun don't stop.
Sour cream and onion.
Okay, a little bit of sour.
then why not you're a fan of sour i'll give you a little bit of sour but now without the cream
and onion got to be the best chip ever i mean they literally invented the shape so you could just put it
on your tongue and crunch it who else is doing that you don't get that like hurt in the roof of your
mouth like other chips will give you no and then at the end of it you have a cool container to put
whatever you want it i'm just saying i got three flavors for you oh grape yum shui
us.
Cherry, yum, didla-dip.
Razz apple, magic dip.
All powdery in your mouth, and then it starts to get absorbed with the fun dip
and it has that stick.
I mean, you can just dip into the powder.
I can taste it right now.
Yeah, but let's be honest.
It's just a bunch of sugar, and the only good part about it is the stick.
Okay, not going to lie.
Pringles isn't even potato chips.
It's chemical.
Ooh, you're right.
The best chemicals I've ever tasted.
That's like saying fun dip is, like, natural.
It's like a fund of his war chemicals.
It's all cute, but the texture and visuals of a circus peanut,
that bright, delicious, orange,
you take it out of the bag and you chew,
you know, like, it's a melty, dense chew.
And it just melts in your mouth.
It's delicious.
It's fun.
You guys are idiots.
That's the kind of candy you eat if you play with the bop it all the time.
I feel bad for the child.
And you have to add with that.
Losers.
Shane, I need you to go with me for a second.
Imagine it's 100 degrees outside, it's recess.
You're outside, you're sweating.
You hate the heat.
All these things are fun, but none of them can help you except for a cold capri sun.
It is the only thing that will cool you down and make you feel good on a hot summer day, which I know you hate.
It is the only thing that can do that.
And I'm pretty sure they dehydrates you can get juice.
I just got the chills.
I just feel like sometimes it can be very flavorless, you know, but like a cherry gum, didolidip.
I mean, just the sound of it, it just makes me want to have some right now.
It's nice and flavorful, and it's just a little bit better.
No, cavities are great.
Cavities are amazing if you want a huge dental bill.
Not going to happen with sour cream and onion.
And I believe they might be organic.
The baby.
Okay, Judge, how are you playing this?
Your favorite from childhood or what sounds most appetizing to you right now?
A nice circus being it.
If we're talking about candy from childhood,
I think sour skittles are even better
because you can't eat sour skittles anymore.
It's too much.
It's too much.
Pringles, yeah, whatever.
You've got pringles any day you want.
It's all too much.
The memory is best.
Fund it's so messy.
Even the man who puts sourest candy.
Skittles is saying that he would love to eat sour cream
and any pringles every day.
Shane, you're a health king now.
All these things are horrible for you,
the least horrible for you is the caprice.
It's all sugar.
This is actually really hard.
Oh my God.
Circus peanuts really have you.
Um, okay, this is hard because the sour cream and onion pringles and the sour skittles are two of my favorite things of all time.
But because sour cream and onion pringles tend to ruin everything else that day because they're too good and they dominate, I'm going to go with the sour skittles.
I'm sorry, but it was close.
Did I do better than circus peanuts?
Here's the thing.
That's all.
I had to conserve my energy because I knew my judge.
I was never going to win.
If you think any of us, we're going to pick circus peanuts.
It doesn't matter.
The audience is reliving this nostalgia with me.
Nobody likes those.
They're still in business.
If there's any circus peanut fans.
Tell me how they would still be in the business and nobody liked them.
Okay, should we do one more?
Rylan, are you?
Oh, I'm ready to judge.
Okay.
Yeah, Ryland.
So this is going to be Best Childhood TV show.
And Rylund is going to be judging this.
I love TV.
Ooh, maybe I shouldn't have gone so hard on the circus penis.
And I already have, like, if any of you picked the show, I'm thinking about, it's going to win.
I don't care about your debates.
Okay.
Just kidding.
I'll be open money.
Good to hear from the judge.
Okay, so we have Jared coming in with Boy Meets World.
Oh, the Mommy's World.
Is that the one you're?
Yes.
No.
No.
All right.
Are you kidding?
Me Topanga made me question if I was really gay or not.
Daniel Fisher.
Corey, so relatable.
I love it all.
He's arguing for dinner.
You're the judge.
Is that just the first instant winner
we moving on?
I think so.
We don't need to play this anymore.
We have Sandy with TRL.
Yes, all about music.
I like Carson Daily.
This isn't fair.
If you already have your favorite.
No, no, I'm going to be open-minded.
TRL, here's the thing.
TRL, I wanted to be a host on TRL.
Very good.
I got an edge.
We have Chris coming in with
I don't think it's going to be a strong contender with Power Rangers.
Yes.
Go Power Rangers.
I'm coming in with SpongeBob Square Pants.
Oh, classic.
Okay.
Yeah.
And then Shane with Siskel and Ebert.
Hold on.
Let me explain.
Listen, let me.
Never even heard of it.
Let me explain Roger Ebert.
Where did you guys grow up?
Okay, hold on.
Siskel and Ebert.
They would review movies every Sunday night and they would get brutal.
And then they would fight with each other and be like, you're fucking wrong.
That movie's like.
It's literally you and Lizzie.
Is that a childhood show?
For me, it was, every Sunday night.
Did we get everybody?
Yeah, that's everyone.
I feel like I'll sit back and let you guys go out of it for a second.
Okay.
I mean, mine's going to be a tough one to win.
I feel like based on your reaction.
You're out.
But I'll just say that, again, like, Power Rangers from then till now, still just as relevant.
They made a brand new Netflix movie that was like the top feud thing at the time when it came out
and like was such a wonderful throwback full and nostalgia to the thing that I loved as a kid.
everyone had like toys dressed up for them as like Halloween outside of me not liking the show I also auditioned for to be a power ranger and fly to New Zealand didn't book it fuck them
wow homophobic yikes okay so TRL Carson I mean what a dream bow yes yes uh amazing moments Mariah Carey with that ice cream car when she came in and kind of lost it a little bit all the VJs and the music
in sync actually performed
by bye bye on there. I mean
Can I just say it not to like rally
for your choice but I still watch
episodes of TR Realm now. I mean
I look them up and I watched like
somebody had taped an episode
from 2001 and I'll watch it
like in full like 45 minutes. Yeah
SpongeBob. Yeah and what's more dramatic
than hating your neighbor
that bastard Squidward
What's funner than
that is having a
that's also somewhat of a mentor in your life, like Mr. Feeney, that's a teacher not only in life, but in education.
And he's just a fence away.
I mean, we all grew up with Boy Means World. Let's be honest. We could all relate to it. Like you said, Topanga had her thing going on.
But then you had Corey. You had the older brother. I mean, that, I don't know. I feel like I'm just reminding you of why this is a winning choice.
But when the boy makes well. Talking about a mentor, Carson was always there every single day.
especially in our teenage years, you know,
when you're questioning things,
and he was such a nice guy.
Questioning, why am I watching this
and not watching Boy Meets World right now?
I watched both religiously.
I loved both, but there's one that lights up nostalgia for me,
and that has to be Boy Meets World.
I feel like...
It's not fair.
But the follow-up series?
Like, I get warm and fuzzy feeling inside
just thinking about Boy Meets World.
Yeah.
You're home.
Feels like you just ate a circus peanut.
Well, you also won the whole thing.
Yeah, I did.
How much?
Jared was the only one who got two wins.
He had two wins.
Whoever won that one would have won the whole thing
because he and Sandy both had a win.
Dang.
I was the only one other one who had a win.
I would have picked SpongeBob.
Did I win anything?
Nope.
Well, there you guys go.
That was, what are we calling this down?
Master debate.
Official master debater won.
dot org
OFMD1
We'll give his ideas
For some categories
In the comments below
What should we fight about next
Be creative
And maybe we'll pick some
From the comments
And also I feel like
We need to help Spencer a little bit
Because all of his choices
Are very like
10, 15 years younger than us
So maybe we should do one
More catered toward like
All Gen Z stuff
Yeah
That'd be funny
Okay good
All right
We're going to take a quick little break
When we come back
Vagina
See in a second
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viewers are great I need another we love it when you send in picks of each other
and your invasive questions makes us want to say V-A-G-I-N-A
Vagina Gagina girl
God what a queen what a queen okay our first email is for
oh actually before I get to that shout out to my postmate
that sounds like a hit song shout out to my postmate
um okay so I was out I was getting the postmate
And she goes, I just have to say you're making my day.
I said, oh, thank you.
And she goes, I watched a podcast and I got a grower at home.
No way.
I couldn't believe it's the first time that's happened in real life.
I don't think I've ever heard anybody in real life talk about growers, like, in the wild.
So shut up.
No one ever has, you know, and that's why I'm saying, we're empowering people, dude.
She would have never bragged about her husband being a grower if it wasn't for us.
It would have been weird if she did.
But now it's cool.
And now it's cool.
What does she just like says that to everyone?
She delivers to you.
I'm sure she does.
I hope so.
Okay, we got an email from Izzy and Journey.
Oh, this one's iconic.
Hi, my name is Izzy and my best friend is Journey.
And coincidentally, we both bought each other grower merch for our 19th birthday.
Oh, that's cute.
We've been watching Shane since a yellow background phase.
Ooh, oh, thank you for sticking around.
Here's a picture of us in our merch and of us doing the TikTok fast food running trend in the merch.
I didn't know what she was talking about until I saw it and I fucking love this.
this. I've seen this before. Okay, let me show you. I'm intrigued. Okay, so that's then. That's Izzy and Journey and
they're merch. So cute, little Polaroid. And this is the challenge. Okay. So, you get a fast food meal and then
you only can like eat it while the other person runs back and forth. And then you do, you know,
what's it called? Rock paper, scissors to see who gets to keep eating. I know it sounds stupid,
but I've watched like 20 of these. And I want to do it. I was kind of hoping they would be eating while
they ran.
A little dangerous, but I think very
fun to watch. Look at them getting their steps in.
I like the idea of this. Justify eating fast
food by, you know, you're running. I kind of
want to go play this. I can't get over how cute
they look. Yeah. They're so cute.
Okay, this is an email from Christine.
She said, hey, Shane, I'm a massive fan of yours since
2015. Oh, wow. I was already
burnout by then.
She a real one. But thank you
for being there. I traveled five hours
to stand in line for seven hours
at Morphy to get my hands on your palate.
Oh, my God, thank you.
This is my current boyfriend.
We've been best friends for 17 years.
And I recently went through a divorce and somehow ended up falling madly in love with my best friend.
Oh, my God.
I have made him a fan of the podcast.
And I was so excited that I finally had a reason to buy your merch.
We are proud growers and farmers.
Look at this.
She's so cool.
That is a picture.
And they're chickens.
And it's chickens?
Is it chickens?
Wow.
And then look at this picture of him.
just squat. That's a brave position.
Look at the dog's face. Oh, yeah. I would never.
Well, he's got to showcase the balls.
Not in light shorts.
That dog looks so happy.
The dog is so happy.
They're really good photographers.
That is beautiful.
Shout out, you guys. We love you.
Okay, this is our last email. This one is a good one.
This is another big life update. This is Christine.
Hey, Shane in the podcast. I've been watching a video since I was 13 and now I'm 20.
And in college, in high school, I did competitive speech.
And I wrote a 15 minute speech arguing.
that life is a simulation i won several medals received first place many times and competed at the
speech championships with my simulation speech here's a picture of me in all of my medals i'm dying
to know her argument wow wow look at talk about good photos get her on the podcast to
fucking simulate yes oh my god get her to conspiracy corner yes and then here is her uh in the
merch where the valentine's day murd yes where one of the little heart says that we are in a simulation
Thank you so much, Christine.
That is so sweet.
And please, like, can you send me like...
Your theory.
Yeah, I want to know how you got all these medals for this.
All we've gotten is people calling us crazy.
I've lost friends over this.
Okay, time to get to some voicemans.
So I'm going to read you a few titles, and we're going to pick which one we want to do.
Big Fiancee needs help with self-esteem.
Okay, that one sounds a little serious.
Loose butthole from anal.
Whoa.
These are a few days.
Hard-hitting topics, too.
This is going to be a tough one.
And what to do with your kids during the summer?
One of these things is not like the other.
No.
I just need to do loose butthole for me.
I just need it.
I just need it.
I need it.
Hey, Shane.
My name's Taylor.
Hey, Taylor.
And I just had a question because when I was with my boyfriend at the time, he was into doing anal.
And we would do that.
that a lot. And anytime I would fart, I would shit myself.
What?
I'm just wondering.
Oh, wow.
For gay men, how do you not shit yourself all the time?
That's all I have to ask.
Bye, love y'all.
Happy pride.
Does it not tighten up?
It's, okay, that, I have so many logistical questions because as a man who's been bottoming
since I was 17 and I'm 33,
never has that happened to me ever.
Never once ever,
not even kind of, not even a close call.
I wonder if the prostate makes a man's ass different
because I've never encountered this issue either.
Also, yeah, it does to an extent shrink back up as well.
Unless they were like fissing
or this ex just has like the biggest penis ever of all times.
Or her shits are small.
Or loose.
I'm like, well, no.
Tons of fiber.
Depending on what kind of lube they use, if they don't, she doesn't eat, like,
I have a, you know, probiotic or something.
Maybe her poop is loose.
It could be dietary.
She might not be getting enough fiber.
And Chris and I aren't here to shame your, but, oh, we're just saying it's like not something
that I think gay men are experiencing too.
No, I heard when I was little, I was always scared of gay guys because I heard they had
to wear diapers and because their poops always fall out.
But as I grew up, I realized that's, you know, just, uh, homophobic.
Yeah, well, the joke was always, if you get it in the butt a lot, your farts sound like a whistle.
Oh, which is not like a, not true.
That's kind of cool.
You know?
No, I thought it was like, if you get fucked in the butt a lot, your farts are like,
well, I guess it's a whistle.
Whistle's pretty tight.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, that's a flex.
That's to your guys' point.
Why is she pooping herself?
I genuinely think see a doctor, and this is not, at least, from all of my friends and experience.
I don't think it's not happening.
That was interesting.
Oh, my God.
Okay, big fiancé needs help self-esteem.
Let's do this.
Hello, everyone.
Shane, Chris, Ryland, Jared Center.
I'm looking for some advice about my fiance.
He's naturally a big guy, and he has zero confidence in himself.
I've told him that I think he's gorgeous.
I think he's sexy and no matter what.
And I just think the amount of people that have put him down for so many years
It just made him feel like shit.
Fuck those people.
I know he needs to work through some stuff,
but I feel like, I don't know,
I just wish he could see himself the way that I see him.
Do you guys have any tips on how I can make him feel better about himself
or boost his confidence?
Anyway, thanks guys.
Bye.
Okay, here's what I will say.
There honestly isn't much you can do as the partner because it really is an internal thing.
Like, he really needs to talk to a therapist or talk to somebody.
That's the only way that has helped me a little bit.
get past my confidence issue.
I still have it, like 100%.
But, you know, yes, it feels good when
Ryland compliments me once in a while, but it's
very momentary, and then that's gone, and then I'm
kind of right back to feeling kind of bad about myself.
I will say this is not a joke.
This is going to sound like a joke, but
I have been feeling more confident lately
with my steps. Now let me explain.
It gives me a feeling of accomplishment
and like, wow, I did that. So I'm not saying he needs
to start counting his steps. I'm saying
finding something in his life that makes him feel good
about himself, whether it's something work related
or artistically created or something that he can do to feel good that you could encourage him to do
and yeah feel more confident about himself not looks related i can't speak to walking because i hate
nothing more but but um i don't know i feel the exact same way and i'm not a big guy like there
are people in relationships like i feel disgusting i hate taking my shirt off ever i talked about
this in one of the previous podcasts and it's just real like i have self confidence issues and a lot of people do
and I know some big dudes and women who are like just embrace it like and they're like everyone loves them and like every you know what I mean like it's it I don't know you can be sexy at any size and like I think there's something to like yeah learning to love yourself and like when you learn to love yourself you will then you know do things that are good for yourself as well but yeah but you can't love yourself how the hell you're going to love somebody else going to get amen amen this is all great but if he's not listening to our podcast what can she do for him therapy
I agree with Shane.
Yeah, like maybe find non-looks things to compliment.
Like, you're such a good cook.
Wow, your voice is so good.
Like, wow, like, complimenting things that aren't just body, physical, related
so that he can, like, build his confidence.
Or he goes to Club Chubb and feels like the sexiest thing to ever walk the other.
Get a part-time job at Club Chubb, and you're there.
Wow, well, hopefully that helped a little bit.
And I will say the only thing that I would add to it, because you guys said a lot of amazing things.
I think as far as walking is a great way to get your dopamines up.
It releases happy molecules into your system.
But also remember that anyone that's trying to talk shit on you and hurt your feelings, hurt people, hurt people.
Anything that they say is just a reflection of how they're feeling about themselves.
And the only way to make themselves feel better is to make another person feel worse.
So try just also to realize that perception to a degree is reality.
and don't let another person's negative bullshit impact yourself happiness, you know?
So all of this stuff combined with learning that you shouldn't allow other people's opinions that don't matter to affect you.
I think you could be on the right track here.
But don't let hurt people hurt you.
Yes.
I agree.
Yeah.
All right.
How do I transition into conspiracies?
Speaking of loose assholes.
Huh?
Speaking of loose assholes.
Oh, speaking of leaky assholes.
Hello.
Hey guys, welcome back to conspiracy corner.
Our first conspiracy is about Chipotle.
See what I did there?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, so I don't have a new theory about Chipotle,
but I just want to give an update.
Have you guys noticed?
It has gotten next level.
Jared walked in today, and he was like,
it's like a thing now.
It's a trend.
People are filming the Chipotle workers.
It's called like the phone hack.
Literally.
Where you take your phone in,
I mean, it sounds obvious, I guess.
But yeah, you act as if you're recording the whole thing.
And, dude, people are getting mad.
Massive amounts of food.
We're, okay, not to say that we started it, because I don't think that we have that much to do with what's happening.
But was anybody doing that before us?
I think you started it.
I think we started it.
If we didn't start the engine, we supercharged it.
Okay.
Wow.
So, yeah, now Chipotle, the CEO spoke out about it.
Really?
Yes, he's talking about, you've not shrunk the portions.
No, no, we never have.
We actually filmed last week.
It'll be coming out soon.
We actually filmed a whole video about this with even more fast food places.
It's a wild one.
And speaking of loose assholes, whoa.
So get ready for that video.
But yeah, it's like a thing now.
So that's insane.
I feel like we deserve more credit.
I think we can.
I think we did do it.
Wow.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's crazy.
It's like definitely becoming a thing.
So if you guys have any Chipotle related theories to send them to us.
You want to go back to Spolet?
Confront them.
Oh.
No, it's not the workers' fault.
And film it.
Okay.
So yeah, that's a little Chipotle update.
But first, I want to show you something that if you're a Stanley owner,
Hold on to your Stanley's girls
Because you're going to be shook
Because how am I just now learning about this?
Okay, so you know when you
Go to clean your Stanley
Oh my gosh
Hang on
Clean your husband Stanley
You probably just take out the straw
Wash the top right?
Yeah, okay
Here's what I just learned
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You can squeeze this little part, right?
Take out.
No!
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
And then you can pop out this part too.
Yuck is this so.
Yocks.
You can take out the gray part
And now you can watch all three parts separately
This is your sign
I literally, I saw this
I ran my fucking fat ass to that kitchen
I got all my steps in
And I opened up every Stanley in my cupboard
I was freaking the fuck out
Guys, I just want you to know
Stanleys were clean
Thank you Ryland
What the fuck is she drinked?
I think she's hand washing
Which I do in a rush
I do in a pinch but I usually try to dishwash them
once a week
So, yeah, all my stanleys are clean, thank God.
But check your Stanley right now.
If you have one, check it.
Yeah.
Chris, I heard you now, do you not even use your Stanley because you're too scared of the lead?
I'm paranoid.
I'm easy.
Bring it back.
I hate that there's, even though it's like mainly at the bottom or like in the ceiling or whatever, it just, the fact that it's in it at all bothers me.
And there are other brands that have zero lead.
So I've gone with those brands.
Do you think that might have been what happened?
The lead in the Stanley?
I don't want a lawsuit.
So you killed me?
I don't want a lawsuit.
Holding a special edition
Stanley in his cupboard that's not being used.
People are going to come hunt you down for that.
I still love it.
I mean,
it's beautiful.
It literally,
I'd like,
just show it off because it's gorgeous.
Put a plant in it or something.
I should.
Isn't it being in your house
still emitting lead?
Oh.
I don't know.
Oh, no.
I don't know.
Oh, no.
I hope not.
I'm not like licking it.
I don't know.
Okay, this is crazy. I did not know that this was happening. I had heard rumors of this,
but have you heard that the comment section everywhere on the internet is tailored to you?
Yes. You've heard about this? I've heard about it. I believe maybe we had talked about it before,
but yeah. Do they learn what you've interacted with and promote it to you based on that?
Well, check out this video.
This is the most insane example about everyone is experiencing completely different social medias at the exact same time.
Like this video, my boyfriend said he'd be over by three after golfing and like it's just her every half an hour taking a video saying, oh, you're still not here and it gets like 5 or 6 p.m.
I love her voice.
Yeah, she can't.
I open the comments of this video and kind of as I expected, everyone was saying, oh, that's really rude. It's the disregard of her time. I don't like him.
Did he communicate with you? If not, then that's a red flag. Okay. Fair enough. You know, I send this video to my boyfriend who was sat next to me.
And then I said to my boyfriend, lo, look at the comments.
Bear in mind, these comments were coming up at the top of the list.
So as soon as you open the comments, these are the ones that came up for me.
Tell me fucking why.
My boyfriend opens the comments on his phone.
Again, it's the first list of comments that come up.
It's the same time on the same video.
Or you get your own hobby instead of waiting around for him.
Like, God forbid he has a good time.
What?
He met before 3 a.m.
He's ahead of schedule.
What?
Literally.
Shut the fuck up.
All the comments have like 20.
50,000 likes.
So, and all her comments had like 20, 50,000 likes.
So it's like two different realities, probably multiple different realities, depending on who you are.
It's like TikTok knows that you're the type of person who would be mad at this or who would feel a certain way about, like, that's fucking insane.
I thought like top comments were just top comments.
I did too.
I thought it just shows what's the most interactive.
I just thought about sometimes I'll all like see in the comment section of something.
Someone's like, oh, I can't believe the comments are so nasty or something.
something like that and I go through the comments and there's no nasty comments and I'm
like why are there no I don't what are you talking about I don't see a single mean comment
well yeah look what you just did you just probably spent way more time looking through comments
than you would have but also on a side note like 60% of these comments are bots
they're literally fake comments based on what they think you're going to be like no like look up
diva ross right now and I guarantee you she has one follower no following there are that is why
when I go through when I post the podcast I like you know for the first
couple hours I read the comments and I like them and respond and sometimes I'll see the same
comment over and over again and I'm like and then sometimes it'll just be like some girl's ass
and it'll be like me and my kids watch your and I was like what the fuck and it's like her ass and I'm
like wait is she fake or I don't want to judge though like you know it's very confusing so so how
does that even and why are they botting on my podcast like what's the point of that to get people to
do what fucking internet dude it is crazy well they say that 60% of internet traffic is
so I don't know but can we all just agree on one thing what she got an amazing accent
amazing we all love that and she did the TikTok talk thing which annoys me where she said tell
me why tell me fucking why but because she has an accent I was kind of living for it I almost
accepted the fact that she said lol it's still bothered me too me too but it bothered me less I got
passed it real fast I was okay it's okay I was like I also was kind of confused that her boyfriend is
sitting next to her and she sent him the video she literally sent me videos when you're sitting
next to that's true i do that too and i'll just stare at jerry to see like his reaction yeah and
sometimes it's a meme of me looking at my husband after i just send him 50 reels and he's only
looked at one and i feel so like defensive or defended like offended when he doesn't react
the way i want him to react you know Shane does that too did you see my reel yet no not yet
I'm Ryan in the relationship
Okay
This is a really quick one
Spencer brought this up
And I just had to bring it up
Because Sandy's on the show
And she knows everything about Disney
Sandy, have you heard
The theory about Thunder Mountain?
I think
Is this the kidney stone?
Yes!
How did you know what this?
You never told me about this?
I was just talking about it
with my sister, I think, yesterday, today.
Oh my God.
She said it to you in a real
you didn't open.
I think I was just talking to my friends about this.
No, what the fuck?
Wait, okay, then you break it down
because I honestly don't know what it is.
Yeah, they said that if, uh, actually, I guess,
I guess a doctor made like the study.
And if you sit on the back of Thunder Mountain and you ride it,
it helps you process out a kidney stone, like a big kidney stone.
How?
I think it's just the vibration, I believe is what they said.
Yeah, and like the G force and stuff and all that stuff.
Like, it like pushes it out.
Do you pass it?
Yeah, it helps you pass a kidney stone.
Like you piss it out on the ride?
Does it like, I don't know.
like breaks it up, right?
It depends on how hard you've been fucked.
Dude, I've never had one, but my penis hurts so bad anytime I hear the term kidney stone.
I, okay, kidney stones are my biggest fear of all time.
I'm so scared of them.
I, like, specifically will not eat popcorn and tuna together because that's how mom got one.
Thank God I would never eat popcorn and tuna together.
Popcorn is something delicious.
I'd rather eat a circus peanut.
She was like, she was pregnant, and she was like, I was eating popcorn and tuna and died
And it created like a, I don't know, a paste.
Oh, y'all.
What was she expecting from this combination?
Yuck.
You could spackle the wall with that.
I don't know, but if she was pregnant with me, it all makes sense.
Separately, I love those items.
So, yeah.
Well, I propose that you and Sandy for Sandy's vlog channel, go to Disneyland and try out the back row of Thunder Mountain and let us know what it feels like.
Maybe I'll just eat popcorn, tuna, and diet cook for a whole week.
And then I'll go on Thunder Mountain and see what happens.
We're looking for a mid-rime.
review. Yes. I'm about to show you something that has ruined my 7-11 experience. Oh, no. I'm sadden to
hear that. And you know, I am a 7-Eleven super fan. I love 7-Eleven. Check this out. And this,
by the way, it's not 7-Eleven's fault at all. Yeah, be careful, y'all. Look. I've heard about
this. You see that shit? You see where we at? We on Golden State, yo. Gold
And Stade and Shaw.
They out here with the shits, look.
Crazy.
Yeah.
You got to be careful out there.
I always check whenever I put my card in a machine, I lift it up, like, pretty aggressively
to the point where I might break it.
Yeah.
Okay.
How would you even know?
This is such a thing.
And Spencer was brought this up.
When I showed him this, he was like, oh, yeah, I'm obsessed.
I, like, I want to find one because everywhere I go, I check for them.
It's my goal to find one in real life.
I, like, I found out a rabbit hole of this, like, a while ago.
Literally, every time I get gas, I'm like, I'm, like, drenching it.
I always.
to do that like because like because especially gas if someone could just drive up slide
it on and go away like this is a little harder to do I think well perfect segue way
on the pump yeah yes yeah I do this every I I check for that one as well every time I
guess I'm such a germop at a gas station that it's like I don't want to do that
who by the way how who how do you even what the fuck is going on I would imagine that
there's people that just make them and sell them to a select few criminals wow but
Here's a thing. Yes, these are scary because you can actually see them coming off of a machine
and people are getting their information taken. But there are things that people could put in
backpacks that will read your card from like 50 feet away and they don't even need something
like this. So you could just be walking through the grocery store and some dudes walking around
getting every, that's the real move. Get everybody's information without their card even being
present. Here's another one. This is another card scanner that was in the wild. I've seen this one.
You know what this one, right?
Awkwardness.
Oh!
And here's the thing.
It isn't 7-Eleven's fault,
but 7-Elevens are independently owned franchises.
So the owners or people that work there are the ones doing this.
No one's coming in and just putting one on the car.
They're looking at them at all times.
So, I mean, that's why this dude is so mad,
because he's probably the one to put it on there.
So 7-Eleven is not your fault.
However, this is something to definitely be aware.
of because we want to shop at 7-Eleven in peace.
I have a question.
We do.
Specifically at a gas station, you know how, like, you can tap and do the, like, Apple Pay thing
and it's separate from where you put in the credit card?
Are you safe if you do the Apple Pay thing?
I have no idea.
I don't know.
The best thing to do is just have a bank that you bank with that is high level in fraud
protection, because I know, like, where we use, where we bank, the second anything
looks fishy, if you call them, they'll figure it out and they'll give you your mind right back.
So I wonder if it's that easy to take off.
Because they make it seem so easy.
It looks like it.
It is pretty easy because the whole goal is to be able to easily put it on there
and easily take it off to access it and get all the information.
So, yeah.
Right.
Well, speaking of something terrifying, you know where I always feel safe?
My hotel room.
Ooh.
And you know what makes me feel really safe?
No.
That little do not disturb sign.
No.
I love it.
Really keeps the haters out.
I just love having my privacy.
Yeah.
Let me watch this.
This is why you hang a towel.
mechanism that do not disturb son oh oh what did you just slip it in it okay so i know what you're thinking well
but you'd still need a card or you'd still need to you know right because that that little
flappy is like worst case scenario flappy but how did they actually get the electronic thing
open well there's another hack that these criminals do where they slip like a coat hanger that's
kind of like bent underneath the door and then they have a magnet on one side and they magnet the
coat hanger and then they drag it up and then they go around the the little door handle and then
they unlock it from there which listen if you're doing all that work take my shit if you're doing
five-minute crafts to get into the room bitch welcome in it's too much yeah I don't I
don't ever go to hotels and bring like all the valuables I own with me.
No. Whenever I leave a hotel room, I'm taking all my shit. Right. But this is still good to know for
people that go to hotels and travel with all kinds of jewelry. See, I have to travel with
like my film equipment a lot and I have to leave it in the room sometimes. Get a door wedge.
Also, most hotels do have security cameras. Thank God. So maybe stay at a hotel and make sure they
have security cameras. That can help. This is crazy. Listen, I'm not trying to have beef with Costco
because that's a big company and they scare me. I love Costco. I am.
But guys, have you heard about Costco bananas?
No.
This is crazy.
This is crazy.
And now my like Instagram real page or whatever is all this.
Like it's a lot of fucking bananas.
Get ready.
So my mother was to showing me that she opened a banana that she thinks that these are not real bananas.
No, what?
We got it from the supermarket.
But when she opens it and she breaks it in half, it gets very tough.
What?
And it really break.
And when it pulls, it's like it's glue.
It's very tight and doughy.
I've never, ever seen a banana like that.
I don't know if it's just our banana.
Okay, so this is a thing.
There is like a subculture on the internet of Costco bananas
and people showing how crazy they are.
And they think they're like injected with things or something wrong.
Why are they like this?
Once again, Costco don't sue me.
It's just a theory.
But it goes even past that.
We now have Walmart.
watermelon which is similar what is I cut watermelon for my kids and they're
all bringing it right back saying they don't like the texture I've seen
enough videos of people posting rubbery watermelon I can't believe I got
one I got a rubbery watermelon the texture is so weird like you got to bend
it so far before it will break
What the fuck is going on?
I can't use my card anywhere.
I can't eat anything anymore.
What are you doing?
And then, sorry, so while Spencer's opening up these bananas,
this is just another little theory to throw in there.
But Spencer was like, oh, did you hear about why they now make every fruit seedless?
Have you heard about this?
No.
Because they don't want you to grow your own?
Yes.
I thought it was because seeds are annoying and you don't want them in your teeth.
They are.
Dude, have you ever seen what fruit used to look like?
It didn't look like this.
This looks nothing like what a banana used to look like.
The watermelons look.
Nothing like, yeah, fruits have changed so much.
These, because we've genetically modified them to be easier to harvest.
Yes.
You take less water to grow, all that stuff.
Oh, so we've just modified it too much.
So, like, a lot of this, the elasticity is probably less water
because they've found ways to inject these things to not have to take as much water to grow.
Supposedly, if you cut open a watermelon and dab it with a paper towel,
it's supposed to be really light pink or even translucent.
But if you dab it and it's like red, like bright red liquid, that means it's been
injected with a bunch of crazy shit.
Where do I get food?
Help me.
Taco Bell!
Okay, I'm scared because I eat a banana every day and I hate wasting them.
I eat like a banana and a half of them.
I'll eat all of them.
Okay, thank you.
All right, here we.
Oh, mine is already like a problem.
Mine came right apart.
All right.
So let's see if my banana, this is Costco, right?
Yeah, all from Cosm.
Mine's looking pretty good.
Okay, here's the thing.
Oh, delicious.
I find it hard to believe it.
Oh, yeah.
All of these people are in on it.
But I think this is all how they're marketing now to people
because they know the virality of things like this.
So everyone's searching for a fruit,
like maybe the Ralph Raspberry because they feel like rocks.
And it isn't really a thing,
but now we're all going to go to Ralph's and buy raspberries.
You're a genius.
So now it's like, Costco's like, what are we going to do?
Put a rubber banana out there.
Oh, my God, wait.
Because look, this ain't the same thing.
I've never in my life experienced that.
But it's hard to believe that this lady is really in on it.
But then again, who do you trust?
We're all seeing different comments sections.
Wow.
I love a banana.
Well, I'm glad this had a happy ending for Costco because I was scared.
This is the best fruit.
It's a dessert.
Now, I know what you're thinking.
Last time we talked about food theories, Sandy said, well, just go to Whole Foods, right?
Oh, no.
No, what?
Just go to Whole Foods.
It's all Whole and it's Whole Foods.
It's good for you.
No chemicals.
It's all fresh.
Not from China.
No preservatives.
Well, check this out.
I don't want to be here anymore.
Anyone else noticed this in Whole Foods because I just saw it and it's a freaking me out.
We got the bagels with a bioengineered food ingredient.
The green beans contains a bioengineered food ingredients.
The mashed potatoes.
Bioengineered food ingredient.
Vegan brownies.
cookies bioengineered food ingredient so everything now at whole food
not everything don't sue me but there's bioengineered food ingredients and whole foods do we know
what that means no i thought that was the whole like the whole point of whole foods they have like big
signs that are like we ban 300 preservatives and things and what like i thought if i got anything at
whole foods i'm safe so now we all have to go to air one what i will say though is and i'm
scared to say it, so I'm not going to.
But it is kind of interesting that...
No, I need to know.
Something rhyming with Amazon.
But I'm sorry.
Since Amazon took over?
Is that what you were going to say?
You did. They're coming for you.
That's what you were going to say.
Everyone's trying to cut costs.
Well, just take a look, though, next time you're at the store at your meat.
No.
Because there's something rolling out very soon.
It might already be rolling out now.
check this out soon the entire world will start eating meat printed by a printer
and we won't even be able to tell if it's real meat or not this isn't a plot from
black mirror it's our reality of holding here's why printed meat resembles real
meat so closely the 3D printers use special bio inks to create it get a real
bio inks are actually made from stem cells extracted from different animals depending
on the desired type of meat beef pork poultry or even fish in a laboratory these
Cells then multiply, interact and differentiate into the fat and muscle cells that make up bio-ink.
These bio-inks-oh, look at the fake bones.
Specialized 3D printers.
Muscle printing?
Look at...
This sucks.
Of traditional meats.
This is identical to real beef.
And when it is ready and stuff.
Yeah, unless you eat meat, identical to me.
I can fucking know the difference.
What can I eat?
Shame.
Um, you can take a baby.
big old bite and a big old sip of Ryland Reiki.
Well, wait, before we get to that, I feel like we need to wrap this up, right?
Wait, what?
We can't end on this.
You have more?
This is depressing.
Okay, you know what, fuck it.
One more, fuck it, one more.
Oh, no.
I've wanted to do this one and I, okay, I'm going to show you this and we're all going to guess together.
I'm handing a, take a deep breath.
I'm holding a crystal in my hand.
What color is it?
Green.
I thought green too.
White, like a non.
a non-see-through clear.
Okay.
Blue.
Red?
I don't know.
Okay.
My instinct was purple.
Oh.
I know.
You've seen it.
Yes, of course.
But I guessed purple when I saw it for the first time and it fucking freaked me out.
And then all the comments were like, ah, I guess purple.
But you guys didn't.
So I guess it wasn't.
Crazy.
All right.
Now let's get to a recap.
Action. Rylid's Recap is about to happen.
Rylans recap.
On today's episode of the Shane Dawson podcast, Chris is alive.
Yay!
And thank God.
Thank God.
Thank God.
But we're all going to die soon from our weird fake fruit.
But not if you're a health queen and a walk star like Shane.
Yay.
You're going to walk right off all those preservatives.
That's how it works.
Boy Meets World is the best show ever.
Period.
Okay. Fair enough.
Dude.
The Postmates girls, it was proud to brag about a grower.
Oh, my God.
That's huge.
Our first real-life grower encounter.
The Postmate today said she has a grower at home.
Oh, we're all going to be walk stars.
All right. Step stars incoming.
No, walk stars.
Thank you.
Walk stars incoming.
We're seeking sponsors everywhere and anywhere.
to sponsor our competition.
Winner gets 10 grand.
Oh, I thought that's what Jared put out there.
Hey, join the step family.
Yes, the step family.
We need merge.
Step fam.
Big people don't need to be insecure.
Sexy comes in every size.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Well said.
I mean, how can I say it better than that?
You put some, and fuck the haters.
Come on. Yeah.
Okay.
If you guys are scared of grocery stores, well, you should be.
Nothing safe.
Meat, fake.
Are you forgetting about bananas?
And don't get me started on Costco's bananas.
Some people found that they were gross.
I found mine to be delicious.
Watermelon from Walmart, fuck off.
Some people know about Pogs.
Oh, Pogs.
Oh, fuck Pogs.
The best game.
Most people know.
Fake news.
Pogs won the best nostalgic game, I guess it is.
But people that didn't grow up in Southern California,
you don't even know what that is.
That is not true.
Oh, Circus Pina.
That's our ass and if they hates them.
Looking for a delicious fun food to kick your children this summer.
Look no further than circus peanuts who are still most definitely around and on the market.
Do you want to disappoint all the kids on Halloween?
Give them circus peanuts.
Unlike circus peanuts, everyone loves Eminem.
Oh, I see what you did there.
But Eminem didn't even win.
Shout out of Leah.
Shout out of Leah.
All right.
RIP.
We should do this on the news.
Yeah, that was good too
Well, yeah, it's like, oh, the script today
Oh, man, fuck
Ever stayed at a hotel and thought you were safe?
Turns out you're not
That people are going to get you
No matter what you do
Thought you could put on a do not disturb sign
To not be disturbed
Well, you're just going to get broken into
And killed.
Oh, 7-Eleven
What happened with them?
They're still in your info
Possibly.
The theme of today's episode
is you're not safe.
ever gone to a 7-Eleven to pick up some gum,
a lottery ticket, or get some gas,
only to find out that your credit card
information has been stolen?
Well, that's because 7-Eleven employees,
not from 7-Eleven themselves,
but from the franchise owners
who then hire employees
are putting on car stealing machines.
You're not safe.
Well said.
Very well-sid.
Wrap it up.
All right.
There you guys go.
another fantastic episode of the Shane Dosson podcast,
no thanks to me.
I hope you all had a fantastic time.
Shop your Shane Dosson merch at shan Dossonmerch.com
and follow us all on social media.
We all have YouTube channels or Instagrams.
None of us are TikToking because that's gay.
Oh, it's Pride Month.
I'm on TikTok.
Because you're gay.
Happy pride.
Thank you.
Thank you.
And we hope you enjoyed.
We'll see you right back here on the Shane Dosson podcast in two weeks.
Also, we all love you, guys.
Where are you guys to go?
Wow.
Hope you enjoyed whatever the hell that was.
Yikes.
That was a lot.
I'm exhausted.
Chris, how are you feeling?
Okay.
Near death, possibly.
Good.
Good.
Safe.
All right.
Hopefully you guys enjoyed that.
And we will see you guys next time.
Get to Step in.
Step it up.
Step family.
Walk it out.
Step it out.
Walk it out.
Okay.
Bye.
Hi, I'm Danny Lopiori.
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