The Shane Dawson Podcast - CHILDREN SHOWS CONSPIRACY THEORIES! DISNEY MOVIES and TASTING SCHOOL CAFETERIA FOOD! w/ Katie Morton

Episode Date: June 28, 2023

In this episode the guys are joined by friend and therapist Kati Morton! They dive deep into the world of narcissism and love bombing! They also get a shocking update from viewer CeCe that blew their minds! Throw in some Disney Movie theories, iCarly audio illusions and a fun game of GUESS THAT MR BEAST GHOST KITCHEN and you’ve got yourself a wild time on the couch!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We have a ground-breaking update from Cecee. Oh. No! I was like, where are going to go from here? Oh my God. C-C., I told you to slow the f*** down. Okay, welcome back to whatever the hell this is. I'm so excited. We have so much to do today.

And one of my favorite people in the whole world, my good friend, Katie Moore, is here. Yes. Guys, we have a therapist. Shit's about to get real. Finally. Oh my God, we can get in a fight with a mediator. I know, and you technically, okay, first of all, hi, Katie Morton. You guys know Katie.

If you don't, Katie Morton, licensed, what's it called? Marriage and Family Therapist. We've done series together, videos. I've done videos on your channel, and we're just also friends. Okay, so, yes, when we start fighting, you can kind of mediate and join in and say, okay, Ryland, you're being abusive to Shane. Shane is not your fault. I have a feeling Katie will take my side.

Well, is it fair that you're, like, having any. you sort of bias in this because you know both of us. I don't know whose side you're on naturally, but. I think it'd be more balanced. I know you guys together. Thank you. Do you what I mean? Yeah.

Yes. And you see him boss me around. In real life. Somebody has to boss him around. I know. I like it. Okay. Okay.

Also, before we get into the show, I also need to just make a statement. An apology? No, an explanation. No, an explanation. Because during this episode, I'm going to be doing something that probably everybody's going to be doing constantly.

that I was doing before we started filming. So, have you seen the Wendy Williams clip where she's like, oh, she passed away? Aw. Anyways. All right, MC Light. So we've been doing that all day. We can't stop doing it.

So during the show at some point, we will be doing some Oz and Oos, and I just want to explain why. Okay, first, let's do a quick fashion update because, Katie, you brought your A-game 2 to this. Oh. Oh. Okay, first, Jared, obviously,

So you're wearing the knockoff Gucci sweatsuit. Very, um... I feel like a box of animal crackers. You know, isn't it? Kind of with the same colors or... I think it belongs in Vegas. I'm about to go perform on the pier. The last one was a big hit in your real life.

I feel like you've worn it outside of the show a lot. Oh, yeah. The other tiger one, it's a staple in my wardrobe now. But this one's cool, too. I like it. Very flashy. Very nice. Oh, it looks beautiful.

Thank you. Chris, we have your talkies hoodie, which I wanted to get to, you know, show off Peruvian heritage? I don't know, is that Peruv? I'm sure they eat talkies in Peru. It's everywhere, I think. Doesn't everyone like talkies? No, I do not like talkies.

How dare you? It's too much flavor. No, I prefer a hot fry. I know that's very unpopular. Oh, I love hot fries. Not even the Cheeto, the fry. I love hot sauce. The takis have too much flavor seasoning.

Too powdery? It's too much for me. Okay. I've never been more offended. I've never even had toky, so I can't speak on it. I would worry if I saw you with the bag of tonsis. I'd worry.

I'd be concerned. You should be. So you're wearing your favorite daughter hoodie, and the reason you're wearing it is because earlier you were wearing a woman's wig all day. No, no, no. I was cleaning the bedroom, and the wig was sitting right there, and I thought I just needed to liven it up a little bit. Explain why there's a wig sitting in your bedroom.

Oh, I mean, I don't think I need explanation. If anybody's ever seen me anywhere, I feel like it's pretty self-explanning. I mean, yeah, I'm not wearing anything interesting. Okay. Okay, we have so many questions. I'm so happy you're here because we need you to explain something to us. We talked a lot about a certain subject on this show in the last few months, and we can't get enough of it. Cucks.

We are cucks for cucks. Do you a know what it is? I didn't. Wow. I don't. As a therapist, you don't. So you don't have a... Any cuck clients?

You haven't been hit by the cuck wave yet. It's coming. It's coming. Explain what it is and then maybe I do know, but I just don't even know that term. Okay, so let me think. Okay. So, for example... It sounds sexual.

Yes. I would like to watch... This is not real, though, by the way. I'm not a cuck. This is just explaining what a cuck is. Yes. But no offense to the cucks. I'm an ally.

Is cuck an offensive word? Questioner. No, no. People self say I'm a cuck. Yes. It feels like it's a proud person. thing like they're proud to be cucks you know they love the word yeah so um if i wanted to sit in a corner and watch well you don't have to make it sound so depressing they could be standing and i'm not a cuck

i am not a cuck but you guys are not making it sound like cuck isn't a problem they could they could be standing up they could be elevated above the bed like mission impossible but did you know i just heard about this recently from a friend did you know that when you go to like a hotel room and they have a random chair in the corner it's a cuck chair no we're not really what it is Dude, no way. I thought that was to take your clothes off or, like, put them on. You actually just triggered a very weird memory one time. You were cuck in in a hotel?

No. Wait, can it be a verb? But Sandy, Sandy booked a hotel on, like, price line or something in Vegas, and we got there. It may be five minutes before we decided to look up the reviews, and it was a Swinger Hotel. And, like, all the rooms had themes, and the reviews were like, you know, if you stay by the pool, you'll hear people. having orgies all night. We had to leave within like five minutes. We walked in and it was a black marble floor, like kind of dirty.

But I imagine a lot of cuckoldry going on there. I feel like that might be a cuck destination. I can actually beat that story. Oh, nice. You're like, I am a cuck. I didn't know there was a word for it. I just didn't know what to call it. No, my girlfriend and I went to stagecoach, which is like at the same place

Coachella is held every year in Indio, California. And everything's always booked up. And so there was one room left. We were like price line or something like that. And it was like, bread and breakfast they came with breakfast and all this extra stuff and we're like awesome and we get there and the guy at the front desk is like nobody called you and I'm like oh no we don't have a reservation like oh shit and I'm like no I'm like here's my number you know my confirmation

and he's like this is a gay men's resort clothing optional oh wait so are you eating breakfast with dicks flopping around the buffet you just open up the windows in the morning it's like boom naked gay dudes everywhere like is that the mind of kind of crazy what was the name of the i think it's the ccbc theater boys club wow oh it's for boys club it's very close to palm springs which is like a destiny it's pretty much yeah yeah yeah so anyways elderly gays go so did you like we just stayed because we were going to the music fest like all day so we just like get up and be like bye you know lots to see there i'm sure what was an adventure what percentage was growers Are you familiar?

No. Oh. Doesn't know cucks, doesn't know growers. A grower is a guy whose dick doesn't show. It's like, it grows. It shows. No, okay. A shower, like, when it gets erected, it doesn't change much.

It just gets hard, and it grows where it, like, changes involved. That makes sense. Yeah. So, so yes. Anyways, a long story short, I want to watch somebody fuck Rylan and I'm sitting in the corner. And that's a cuck. Yeah. No, money's not involved, right?

No. Okay. Sometimes it can be. It's almost like a three-sum. you're not participating actively. You're just a viewer. It's like you want to watch somebody fuck your spouse.

So what is that? That's an interesting, like, I don't know if it's a kink or just a weird, I don't know, it's just a sex thing. If you're into whatever, I mean, I feel like to each their own. As a therapist, though, don't you think, does open relationships or cucking not end horribly always?

Like, can people not actually ever get jealous or just compartmentalize those kind of things? I think if it's done properly, it's fine. But it's not usually done properly. Because there has to be ground rules, which most people don't go into it, like, describing exactly what's going to happen, what's okay, what's not okay, what are the rules. And it has to go both ways, you know what I mean? And I feel like most people don't communicate that clearly or that often about that stuff.

So they should be cucking responsibly. Yes. Clear communication before cucking. Okay, I have a question. So first of all, we all have a lot of, I would say we all have some problems. Some issues And we don't really talk about like I don't know

Because you're a therapist I never want when we're hanging out I never want to like start talking about my problems Because that's what you do for work And I'm like I don't want to bring work into this But now we're in a podcast and we're doing this So let's talk about our problems Okay

Okay what would you say as a therapist What's like the number one problem you see happening right now And I want to see if any of us have it I mean there's quite a few things Well just I think depression and anxiety rates are up Okay ding ding yeah And then I also think people want to say that everybody's a narcissist and everybody's gaslighting them. Right.

Like it is way more than it's necessarily happening. Interesting. Okay. Can we talk about that for a second? Because the whole narcissist thing. So we talked about it on the podcast. I think all of us have had some experiences with narcissism in past relationships. So, yeah, what is like the number one sign that if you're in a new relationship that you might be with a narcissist?

And also, is it okay? And should you stay with them? Okay. Number one. I guess if you're early in a relationship. they usually do what's called love bombing, which is like way over the top. Like it usually...

C, C. I was like, it makes you uncomfortable how much attention, affection, things they purchase for you, things they want to do. It's very quick. But I'm sure are they good at finding people that are going to be highly receptive to this, though?

Yes. Because there are some people that would just like love all this attention, I would imagine. There are, I'd assume, certain people who are more malicious, but usually narcissists, they don't go to therapy

because they don't think things wrong with them no everybody else is a problem right they can't apologize but it's born you have to understand it's like usually born out of trauma and the fact that you feel so less than or little and so you put up this protective shield of like I'm so amazing everybody loves me look I can make this person fall in love with me so quick you know wow I think narcissism as a diagnosed thing isn't that incredibly common however the symptoms are like you can have one or two it's almost like depression like I can feel kind of lethargic and my eating isn't as good and I'm not liking what I used to like, but it's not going on for like every day for two weeks.

You know what I mean? I'm not meeting like all the things. So when in the relationship or in the dating process should you realize and should you get out or is it okay? Like is it okay to be in a relationship with a narcissist or are you never going to be fulfilled? I think it's okay if they're willing to work on themselves, which is a big if. And you probably as the other person have to acknowledge what they are too, right? And be like these are their flaws.

I mean, as in anything, I would assume. Have you ever, and this leads into our next topic, which is the psychopath test. I have another one. Now, I love them. I know that it's probably not possible to diagnose somebody as a psychopath based on the answer to a riddle. But we're going to do it anyway. Okay, so we've done a few of these now. This is a new one, and this might be my favorite.

If you already know the answer to this, just lie. Katie will know if you're like. Okay. Okay, ready? Your apartment building is right up against another apartment building so you can see inside. their windows, right, your neighbors? I'm looking. One night, you're eating dinner,

and you look out the window, and you see a man murdering one of the residents of the other building. The murderer stops, looks up, and sees you. He makes eye contact with you. You can see his face clearly. Suddenly, the murderer looks at you and points his finger up and down at you.

What does that mean? You're next, bitch. He's going to kill you. Yeah. More specific? More specific. Think like a psychopath. The murderer is pointing his finger at you. and going up and down. Like, I'm going to erase you? Bye-bye.

Interesting. You're going to slice you from your head to your toe? I pinch you up. I just think he's like thinking I'm sexy. He's like, look at you. Like, you know? Wow. I'm like, okay.

That's a narcissist answer, I think. I don't know about a psychopath. The psychopath answer is the murderer is counting the floors and windows to determine where you want. Oh. Jesus Christ. So we have to have a lot. Isn't it scary? Imagine somebody answers it so quick.

Yeah. They're just counting the floors to see where you are. So they can go tell you. I was looking directly at the killer. So I think I thought obviously we're on the same floor. True. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. This is our final one. I don't have any more after this. So this whole segment is done in the future. Yeah. Okay.

This is a multiple choice. And this one has science behind it. So this answer, supposedly, I don't know, maybe bullshit. Okay. Imagine yourself walking through a. dark and eerie woods late at night your heart is pounding you hear strange sounds all around you sudden you hear and feel breathing behind you and whirling around instantly in terror what do you see when you turn around a wild animal b a pale person of the opposite sex see a shadowy figure

d a dog e nothing or f a giant bug like a wild animal i'm assuming like to me a shadowy figure Okay. Wild figure. Okay. I think nothing. I'm hearing shit probably. Wow. Did everybody answer?

That wild animal. I think we all did. Oh my God. None of us are psychopaths. So there is science behind this. Apparently psychologists have found that psychopaths tend to see a dog standing behind them. And they're not sure why. Weird.

Why would you? And that's all the questions we could possibly answer? And we're not psychopats. I know, none of us. Also, everybody answered like one of them. I thought one out of five people was supposed to be a psychopath. That's what I think, unless one of us is really good at line. Do we just prove the science?

Hmm. Okay, so we have two different options for the next segment. We have Chris has a fact. And Jared, I think you have a cheap trick. Of course. I feel like to get it and have a cheap trick in this, Jackie. It's only $5. I wish you could start, like, juggling before.

I want to hear the cheap trick, personally. I could do the cheap trick first. All right. Pick it up. He's got a pocket of change. He makes a lot of sense. When the price goes up, he'll get a killer. This episode is brought to you by Corona.

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So I think, you know, there's a big game of competition right now is 7-Eleven Circle K So Circle K is offering something called sip and save And for $10 a month You could go in and get a drink of your choice every single day so you can get a big soda a coffee drink or like one other kind of drink that they have like a smoothie but it's only $10 for a whole month so if you go three times a week and get an iced coffee there's normally $3 you're saving money so I would say that's definitely

a cheap trick are they paying you to save it no most most people have a morning routine do you know what I'm saying so like if part of your routine is going to get gas or going to somewhere to get something to drink, then you're inherently going to save a lot of money. Sip and save Circle Cates. I'm not getting paid, but that's what I'm saying. It used to be six bucks, and they were like, wow, you know. So after me talking about it, it'll probably get raised a little bit, but I mean, they're hooking people up quite a bit.

It is genius, though, because they're also getting people in the door. Like, how often is that person just going to go out with their drink? You got to grab, like, at least gum or something, right? You're getting them in the door. Yeah, but it's a great, it's a great cheap trick in my opinion if you got a circle Okay, next to you. Yeah? I have a drink hack, but it's not really a drink hack.

So Taco Bell makes, you know, Baja Blas. Oh my gosh. I'm going to fucking kill myself. Of course, I'd bathe in it. I cannot handle it anymore. Katie, is he lying? No, very honest. Oh, no.

I bathe in it. Am I lying? Okay. So Baja blast is the best thing ever, right? But obviously, it's really sugar. You can drink it. But they make a Baja Blass zero, which is zero calories. And I've been getting two a day.

So here's the plan. Every day I wake up and I'm like, time for my Baja blast. I order two, and then I go to Ryan and I said, do you want anything from Taco Bell? And if I'm not in his, I mean, it is very polite of him. He'll even call me if I'm not near him and he'll say, are you sure you don't want anything? I'm like, no, you're getting me fucking fat because you're ordering Taco Bell every day. And then the once he doesn't finish, sit in the fridge. And then I have to like fish my way through half drinking things to try to maneuver something out.

Anyways, the point of my story is I'm trying to do a nice thing, right? Thank you. I'm so glad you're here for this. I'm trying to do a nice thing, right? I get my Baja Blast, which is my happy thing, my special time, my moment for me, my moment for me. And I get my Baja Blast, zeroes, don't fuck that up. And then I get you Taco Bell, and then we get into a fight about it. There's no fight.

I'm just saying I don't want Taco Bell anymore. What is it called when the spouse gets angry at you for doing something nice? I think you have different ideas of what's nice. You don't think that's nice? I'm saying you have different ideas. Like everybody has a different. It's like love languages. Oh.

I would assume Rylan's love language is not. GIFs. It might be. I think it is. I just think you're talking about seven days a week. He's wearing a favorite daughter shirt. I think he's into gifts. Yeah, I would say Rylan's only love language.

My love language is tell me I don't look fat today. And he's really not killing him about it. I think his is probably more physical touch. Who's? Riland. No. Oh, it's gifts. Mine is a hundred percent.

Mine talks for sure. one. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Yeah. I know. I know he likes things, but I don't know if that's how he feels loved. Oh, no. That's different. So I should stop asking him if he wants anything. No, but I think, I don't think this has anything. I think this is just the fact that he doesn't want to get fat and eat Taco Bell every day. Seven days a week. It's too much. You guys are double teaming these. Oh, that might be honestly. Because that's what I am. Quality time and acts of service. Yeah. What are the types of lung? We're all different ones because I'm physical touch. Oh, are you so it's so there's five of them. There's gifts. Words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, and, uh, what are the acts of service? I feel like your quality time and probably touch, I would say. A lot of men are a physical touch. Really? I like to have like, you know, my neck, like, you know, my shoulder. Or if your wife's next to you, you like her, have her hand, like touch your back.

That was weird. I liked to be. I was trying to put the sexy one. Oh, that's it. I can't mind it. But, you know. Everybody's different. What's yours?

Acts of service is number one and then quality time. What is that? Acts of service. That's like doing charity work? Like, no one is doing things for you. Doing the dishes without me asking. That's charity work. Who else is going to do it?

I like to do that kind of stuff, but then say I did it. But that's okay. It doesn't matter if you say you did. That's better than me asking you to do it. Tell me you think of all day long. real guys we got a license therapist she knows would you say like i know you probably can't do this but on like a scale of one to ten how do you think our relationship is health-wise i think you guys do really well i mean i would i would probably say like at nine out of ten because everybody has like little work things that

you're figuring out but you do complement each other you're both givers in different ways which i think is nice oh oh anyways well why don't i pass it over to chris for a fact Is it German or Peru? German. Woo! Or no, I like bold. I'm just saying. I said Peru, you're like, yeah.

He's half German, he's so bright. He's a factual delight. Are you ready for some fun? German facts with Chris. So in Deutschland, the government pays for sex for the disabled. What? Dude, before you even keep going, round of applause for Deutschland. Shout out to Deutscheland, dude.

Do they pay for disabled cuts? So in Germany, a stipend covers the cost of people with disabilities to pay for intercourse. So not only is prostitution legal in Germany, but it's also part of your welfare check. Yeah, and there's even certified training for sex workers in qualified sexual accompaniment and assistance. Wow. I'm sure there's hookers that'll take EBT. That's kind of the same thing, right? But yeah, for a...

You know, kind of? But this blew my mind for years, I guess. Yeah, disabled people get... What does that mean? Okay, how disabled? Like, what's the... How disabled do I have to be to go to German here. Probably if you're on disability.

Like, you're disabled. You know what I mean? Like, think of it how we characterize it here. It's like, I got a broken leg. How much is, like, sex a part of our well-being? Like, in your therapy studies and practices, how much is, like, sex a part of it? I think it's a very important part.

I mean, not to bring it back to, like, relationships because you can have sex and not be in a relationship. But when it comes to the reasons that people break up or get divorced, sex is always at the top of the list. Sex and then money, like management and money. Please. Why do you look at me like that? Because I could feel you looking at me and I didn't know what you were looking at me for. And Germany knows this. That's why they pay for people to be able to have sex.

Makes them happy. I want to keep everybody. I wonder what level of like prostitute they're paying for, though. Can you like upgrade it? You know, like, upgrade it? Good fact, Chris. Yeah, this is a great fact. One of your best ever, honestly.

Wow. Good job. Shout out to all the disabled people watching. Yeah, dude. And getting fucked. Yes, move to Germany. Hey, sorry to interrupt the show. Also, sorry, this is a different location.

This is weird. We're back in Colorado, so obviously I'm in my office here. Barry, he's in the back, saying hi. Don't worry. Tom Nook is here, too. Hold on. Don't worry. Nookie says hi. Nuki looks sad.

Are you sad, Nucky? What was that? I left you for six months. I made you feel abandoned? Hmm. You know what might fix that? How about some hair story? Okay, I'm so excited to talk about hair story.

So I talked about them in, I think, the last episode, right? Yeah. And I've never got so many texts from my friends who I didn't even know watch the podcast. Shut up. And they all were asking me about hair story. They're like, hey, so I kind of want to buy some of that hair story stuff you're talking about. But like, are you serious? Were you just lying?

Because it's an ad? Like, tell me the real tea. And I was like, no, it changed. my hair. Like it literally, and I'm not so hard to talk about this because I feel like I'm usually self-deprecating, but I will say, I've been feeling my hair. That's all I've been feeling. Not feeling anything else, but feeling my hair. Moving here to Colorado, I freaked out because I didn't have any here because it's in LA and I called them and I was like, you need to send me some. And they were like, we're sending it right now and I was like, I can't wait. So I literally

overnighted it to my house. It's a problem. So let me talk about New Wash in case you missed the last episode. So New Wash is the first of its kind, custom formula that cleans, conditions, detangles, and restores your hair without harsh foams and damaging detergents found in traditional shampoos. It's completely changed my hair in so many ways. I have to spend so much less time now after I like dry it, which now I don't even have to blow dry it. I just let it air dry and it just is already pretty flat. And then maybe I'll add some like oil or something, but I usually don't even need to. Okay, hair story update. So we're in Colorado and I forgot to pack my hair story. So they sent me more. And since we got here, I've been using other shampoos and stuff.

been a disaster, a mess, like horrible. I was even like, I need to cut all my hair off, what's going on, got my hair story, used it today. I'm not just saying this, literally fixed everything. I haven't done anything. I didn't even comb it. I'm like, look at this. It's crazy.

Damn, bro, I need to use my hair story. I'm telling you, hair story, best thing in the whole world. I know it's weird that I'm so excited about this, but you guys know if you've been watching me for a while, you know my hair has been an issue, a problem really. And it really has helped it, I'm not just saying that. So if any of you guys out there are having issues with your hair, or if you want to cut back on your routine, like if you don't want to do shampoo, conditioner, double condition, all the things that I used to do, this is so easy. New wash, that's it.

You use it. Let your hair air dry, and you will thank me. And also, the packaging is 100% recyclable. It comes in this little, like, milk bag thing. I need to figure out a better way to say that. It's very cute. And they also have this little silicone brush thing that you can use. Like, you put the new wash in, and then you use this brush thing to get it all in there.

And then when you rinse it out, I like to use it again, just to get it all. out and then yeah even afterward I use it again I'm kind of addicted to it I don't know if that's good they're giving you guys 20% exclusive savings when you use code grower hairstory so thank you so much to hair story for sponsoring this video and thank you hair story for really helping my hair and making me feel more confident and yeah that sounds really cheesy but it really has like hair is such a thing for me and if I if my hair is like poofy or weird or like whatever I don't leave the house I'm just like uh my head doesn't fit hats I'll just stay inside so

it really has changed the game for me all right hoping to others to the show Okay, okay, okay, here we go Okay, this is what I've been waiting for So obviously, we still don't have a name for this We're never gonna have a name for this But it's the viewer, uh, viewer submission part of the show Where we talk to the viewers and you guys talk to us Anyways, okay, so first, before we get into it

I just have to say, stay tuned because we have A groundbreaking update from Cici Oh, like Katie, let me give you an update, Cici called in She went on the first date with a guy They fell in love on the first date. He loved bombed her, right? I was like, wait. They were both on board.

They're like going on the way. She also love bombed him. Same, yeah, mutual love bombing. Then she called in on the show, and it had been a couple weeks, and they were, I think, moving in together and talking about getting married and got tattoos of each other's names on their bodies. Yes. Now we have the third update, which is huge. So we're going to save that for the end of this section, because, like, it's a lot. We need to dive in.

But just right off the bat. Thoughts? I mean, that's a lot to digest. I mean, first of all, like, slow down. The, like, love immediately. I'm like, you could be in lust with someone or be infatuated. Like, ooh, and that's all fine and dandy. But, yeah.

And, like, lust at first sight can turn into love. You have to give it time. You can't rush and tattoos. Yeah. Well, she did, and we got an update. Well, I'll get to it later. So this is an email. So if you guys want to send us an email, go to Shane Dawson Podcast stuff at gmail.com.

Send us your thoughts or pictures of you in the merge or consider. or your stories. So this is from Lexi, and she loves the show, and she said that her husband, she wanted to get him grower merch, but we didn't have a 6x available, which is a problem. I'm working on it. So she went out and she made him her own grower association hoodie. I don't know how she did that, but, oh. Lawsuits in the mail.

So she bootlegged the merch. But she also bought, Lexi also bought one for herself. Aw, Icon. That makes it acceptable. Love you, Lexie, and you're husband. You guys are so cute. Okay. This was from Nikki.

So, okay, this one I just had to share, and we're going to have to really blur this. Okay, Nikki said, hey, I was watching TikTok today, and there's a video about a guy with two dicks. You should really give it to Google. It was fascinating to read. Also, I'm a lesbian. By the way, my wife is also a grower. Her clit is sucked in, and then it gets bigger when she's turned on. Dude, I got a, I need a fucking second, man.

You just said, like, a riddle or something. There's a guy with two dicks. And then she's a grower, too. It's not going to get it to be better because. Oh, geez. And there's a picture to summarize this? I had to look it up. You found the video?

This is real. What? He's a grower and a shower. Oh. Isn't that crazy? So, yeah, his name is double dick dude on Reddit. So I have some questions. And they're both functions.

How does he? I have the answers. What does he pee out of? I hope there's not a video. He doesn't know. He doesn't know. So when he goes pee, he doesn't know which dick it's going to come out. Oh, I can come out of him.

So you got to aim both. Yes. Because I feel bad for his wife. What's the dexterity? Everywhere. Oh, is his penis a wrecked? When he comes, I think he doesn't know where it's coming out. Gosh, what a disappointment if you're like, the one that you're fucking with isn't the one that comes because then you don't get like.

Also, let me just say, shout out to all the girls out there who are into DP, or not DP, but yes, DP. But when you fuck your butt and your puss, hi, Katie. Yeah. He could one in the pink and one in the stink At the same time I don't know where the cup is gonna go It's like, yeah Could be a cream fucking pie

What are you? Could be a cream pie or ding-dong Wow Everyone's got to Google this Give me a moon pie Yeah, cool Thank you so much for coming up Dude, I don't know the reality of this

Like if anyone's gonna have an only fan It needs to be this man Dude how cool is it You can Does he get double blow jobs and all that probably. I need to see this in action, honestly. Just for the, you know. I'm going to pass out. Okay.

Okay. Are you guys ready for the CC update? Yeah. Okay. I feel like we need a song for this. I know. Okay. Is she pregnant? Guess what? I'm pregnant.

No! I was like, where could it go from here? Oh my God. C.C., I told you to slow the fuck down. I told you don't get married and don't get pregnant. Hear her out. Hear her out. Maybe we're both crazy, ha-ha.

Or maybe it was really. love at first sight. We're scared to be questioning that at this point. She said, we're both so excited and hopefully the baby's happy and healthy. I think I'm around four weeks. I hope your baby journey is going well for us. That was sweet. I just wanted to give you all an update. Period. That's it. I mean, congratulations. Ooh. Listen, here's the thing. I get it, right? Because I was very much the first time we talked to her. I was like, run bitch. This is bad, bad, bad, psychopath, cycle bad. Now that there's a baby involved, I really am wishing the best. I hope it's a Titanic situation, a Jack and Rose

without the death at the end. Yeah, I was like, why would you say Titanic? Yeah. Well, because they were like young, like 20s and like they met one night and they were in love. Like, if it's that, I'm hoping it's that. I think babies are stressful. Like adds a big layer of responsibility. And I remember I said sex and money? Parenting is the next one. Right. Parenting style is like, how are you going to parent? What are you going to do? I mean, it's not that they're doomed. Like moving fast doesn't automatically mean they're doomed. But there's a lot. lot to work out still and I mean in living with each other figuring out your routines together we should have had you here for the phone call yeah before she was pregnant oh I think they're both

off maybe it's perfect though maybe they're just perfectly crazy for each other you know here's the thing hopefully am I secretly terrified um and really worried about a girl CC and um yes but do I really really hope it works out because I love her and I love the baby yes and it can happen like I have friends that their parents got engaged on their second date and they just celebrated their 40th year anniversary. Yeah, even my own parents only dated for six months and got married until my dad passed away. They were married, what, 26 years or something?

So it can work out. Good luck, Cici, and congratulations. Yes. Um, okay. Um, okay, voicemails. So I'm so happy you're here for this because, uh, we always give really bad advice, so I can't wait for your good advice. Uh, let's listen to the first voicemail.

Hi, Shane. My name is Lizzie. I was wondering if you or Katie had any advice on X in a relationship. I was on top of my boyfriend yesterday and he moaned so high-pitched like that it literally made me laugh so hard I threw up so any advice

thanks how can you tell somebody that turns you off that it turns you off not in the moment probably on a podcast I think the best way is to call in and let us know publicly it's an uncomfortable

conversation no matter what but you have to do it with love it's natural like he didn't do the like it's it's something that was organic to him yeah so i always call it like the hug and roll you like give them a lot of compliments yeah like i love it when you do this that and that but when you made that high-pitched moan it was hard for me i started laugh and then i'm sure that he saw right like she threw up so just be like you know that doesn't doesn't do it for me yeah i think humor is a good way too like mimic them but how's he like oh my god they'd be like what are you doing it's like No, just the other day you made that weird noise.

Like, I thought it was kind of funny. How will he, though, then feel comfortable to get really lost in it ever again? Yeah, sex is about embracing your partner. And, you know, if this dude needs to let off a high-pitched squeal to do it, I doubt you're 100% awesome. You know, maybe there's something that he's holding back on to, but that's the beauty of loving each other. Yeah, it's true. Zone out for a second. Try to fall in love with it.

Maybe it'll become your favorite thing. Maybe you'll be like moan like a pussy, moan like a pussy. You're my little bitch. Slap him when he does it. Slap him in the case. Yeah. Okay. This one is pretty juicy.

Hi, boys. My boyfriend, who I've been with for three years, no longer wants to have sex with me, but wants to watch porn of men, specifically like feminine men. You can Google it to see what it says. I can't say it out loud. It makes me uncomfy.

but he likes that shit and not me anymore so what do you think I should do um thank you always you guys are amazing I love you supported you from fucking day one Shane

um and I will be there till day whenever Dube's day is bye okay first of all um Katie

I mean she already said during the voicemail you have to break up with him you have to break up with him And it sucks, and that's a bummer. And I think, unfortunately, he's made a choice, right? He's not wanting, it sounds like she still wants sex to be part of the relationship. Then that's not a relationship anymore. So what is she talking about the, also I only laughed because I've never heard somebody say uncomfy in real life.

Okay. Only in comments. I don't know what that guy's tripping on. That was super sexy, uncomfy. That was arousing. Wait, so what is she talking about? Because she said feminine men. She said, I don't want to look it up, makes me uncomfy.

What is you talking about? Feminine men. She said, look it up. I don't want to. to say the word of what it's called. I don't know if she gave us enough clues to Google even. Yeah. Also, did he tell her like this is what I'm watching?

This is what, or did she find it? Well, she didn't act like she snooped. She said he told her, you don't want to have sex anymore. And then he's rather watched this. I've gotten letters from my audience where they'll be like, oh, they're wanting to like try a threesome or they're wanting to have an open relationship. And that can be negotiated later on. And I think that if you are both okay with it, which usually one person isn't, let's just

throw it out there because one person brought it in. And the other person's like, why I love them. I don't want to leave them, lose them. and you feel forced, that can usually, or will most likely end tragically. But I think when it comes to this, you can let them question, but they're already saying, like, I don't want to have sex with you. So I think the best is to move on in this case. If it's ever like now, not the relationship you'd want.

I think sometimes it's important for people to at the moment, I know this is a hard truth, okay? In the moment, if you met this person now, would you date them? Because of the answer to be no. You're trying to have a side thing with me visually. I saw this. Shane. Right.

Well, I'm sorry that you should definitely break up with him. And send me an email. What are you talking about feminine men? I'd like to do some research after this. I'd like to do the Googling that she's spoken of. But yeah, we love you. Okay. So here's another voicemail.

This one I personally related to. Hey, guys. My name is Sarah. I'm from Vancouver, Canada. I was just listening to your most recent podcast about the bloated sex. I just really think that we need to start normalizing having sex with your partner before you go out on your date or you're still feeling good, excited for the night. Oh, yeah. Instead of coming home, feeling like shit from all the delicious food and drinks and bloated and just not wanting to fuck.

So let's start normalizing that. Yes. That's perfect, dude. Ponder over a second. Run for president. You know, just do it already, please. Two dicks, vice president. Oh, yeah.

First of all, genius plan. actually did this, when did we do this? I think we've been doing this a lot recently. It's like, it's now or never, because after dinner, it's not going to happen. Yeah, you're too full. It's too late. You're tired. And if you've had any drinks, you're like, eh. Right. Yeah. And you get to, like, celebrate. Like, the food is a celebration now. Yes. We're going to have sex. And now, oh, we're celebrating that we did it. I also do feel like sex does like, you do feel more connected right after sex. So it is like it would make your, your night out more, I don't know. more likely to share food.

I think are we talking from like married people perspective though? Yeah. Because I think the end game if you're a dude like in the early stages of dating is to have sex. True. Right. So if you just gave him sex right away, he might be like, I got shit to do actually.

I think this isn't like the long haul. I'm just saying, we're speaking from our own perspectives here. I think committed relationship. I like that. I like dating for a while and you're like, let's have sex first and then we'll go to dinner. Chris,

do you like your big boys full? Chris is obsessed with like his thing is big boys. Oh, okay. Like, do you like... Is the eating... Bears. Part of the... Yes, chubby.

Getting excited? What's the word? Aphrodisiac? No. Not for me. No. That's not a part of it. But I...

We talked about this. It takes, like, a lot. I don't get bloated very easily. So... It doesn't bother you. Yeah, for me, sex before, after is kind of whatever. It's fine. I just like sex.

What about them being, bro? I'm okay with sex whenever. If they prefer to have it, if they get bloated easily and prefer it before dinner, let's do that. Wow. I just like sex. Yeah. So this is in a conference. Because we have this conversation quite often.

This isn't something you have often. Like, I'm too bloated right now. No. Wow. It happens. Like, if there's a plan to, you know, get down later that night. And then there comes a time in the meal like, yeah, we're probably, you know, not going to have sex. And then you order.

Yeah. Like, you hit a line where it's like, you know, if I keep going, I'm lowering the chances of beating cheeks by like 30 to 40% immediately. And then you just got to double down if you get to a right point. You can avoid that 100% of the time if you just do it before. Yeah. No, that's why it's genius. Yeah. We all agree with you, Caller.

Just not in the first date. I don't want girls to feel like you should just have sex and then go on the date. You know, like, go on a date. Yeah. Stupid. Agreed. I love that for all of us. Yeah.

Okay. So, let's get out of this. Go, oh. Aw. Aw. Anyways, so, okay, I'm so excited. So I have never gotten so many emails in my life and tweets and, well, I don't. go on Twitter and Instagram DMs.

I don't really read my DMs. Whatever, I see it everywhere. People have been wanting us to try this. So there is a website, this is not sponsored, called Goonther's Custom Cuts. And what Goonther's does is they recreate school cafeteria food. Dude. Is this a restaurant? I could make room for that.

And it's real. It's from where schools actually order this, right? From wherever this comes from, I don't know. But this is real school cafeteria. of food, legit. And we're going to try a few of the popular items. So do we just find out, like, just the main plug for cafeterias and we just went straight to the source? Yes.

Like, this is when you go to, like, a middle school, and you get pizza. Well, that'd be weird if you did that. That's the main kid. I'm going to know if it's not the distributor that distributed to my schools. Because they're, like, so nostalgic to me. Of course. Of course. Yeah. So, whoever thinks, like, I want the cafeteria food from, like, I want chicken. I like,

I like the bagged burritos that they had at my school. We have those? Did you have square pizza? Yes. That's what we have. Did you like it? Yes. I like the burgers and the square pizza. Burgers. That is a deep cut.

I haven't thought about those in a long time. And then you get the mustard packet. Yes. Wow. And the fries were good with the seasoning salt. I liked the cafeteria food. Oh my god, here it comes. Wait, it kind of looks good.

Oh, never mind. The smell changed. It changed. The aromatics are interesting. I don't, oh, what is that? Oh, that's a burrito? Oh, that's half a burrito. I was like burrito.

Oh, my gosh, the cheese stick is unlocking some things. Do we all get the same thing? Yeah. So on the plate, we have a cheese mozzarella stick with mariner for dipping, a piece of square pizza, and half a burrito, which... I mean, I'm not going to lie, this looks good. It kind of looks good. Like, I'm excited.

The cheese stick is like memories. Yes, the other two look a little different from my school, but the cheese stick looks right on. Yeah, our pizza was thicker. Are we dipping? I think so. All right, let's go for it We're dipping, okay Here we go, let's give it a dip

Oh my gosh That is it It's childhood Wow, it's wow Wow That is school That is unlocked A full-blown memory

I hate it But it tastes just like school Oh I forgot We also have drinks Or everyone So we got middle school And school type drinks We have Capri Sun

We have squeeze it Are those like the Kool-Aid Those are the ones with like The U-Tops Right am I stupid You twist it off Yeah, you twist. Ooh, that's satisfying.

Pop that seal. Jared's gone for the pizza. Oh, okay, the pizza. Is that okay? Is that okay? That's good. That's good. That tastes good.

That tastes good. This so far, I would say Gunther did good on that. That tastes just like school. That tastes like swimming at the public pool and they have pizza. Not the pizza I had, but I can appreciate it. Same. Wow. Yeah.

Okay, the burrito. This, I'm scared. We didn't have burrito. I don't think. This was not the burrito that my school had, but... Yeah, this is different. Oh, that tastes like poison. Oh, that tastes like socks.

Oh, my God. Ew. Also, the sounds. The misophonia. It's a little questionable for sure. Oh, my God. I don't like the burrito as much. That is horrible.

I'm scared now. Are kids eating that? That's what people have to eat. I like the cheese stick. Goonthers. You need to get some Mexicans involved on the, on the fucking recipe side. Yeah, on the real burrito. Yeah, you need to show more respect to the burrito.

Wait, Jared, can you throw me a Capricon? Duh. Because this is what I had the most. Oh, shit. Here. Well, thank you guys for everybody that recommended that we do this and said that you wanted us to try school food. I would say it was pretty gross, and I never wanted it again. I'm glad we grew up.

As I'm finishing it. Yeah, me too. The cheese stick's not bad. The cheese stick is pretty delicious. Wait, Caprient sucks. It's not very good. Wait, I used to love Caprizona. This sucks.

It has no flavor. What the actual fuck is happening? Well, wait, now I want to try a Caprisen, because I remember them being so good. It's like Lecois. I don't know if you might, you can just. Is it like, is it like low sugar? Oh, Lecroix? That's how you, look, lecois.

That's how you're supposed to say it? Is that the real pronunciation? It's a French word, right? Wow, I love that. It just doesn't have enough flavor. I thought it was super flavorful as a kid. Is it low sugar? Right?

That sucks. It doesn't say it is and it just says fruit pun. It used to probably kill people and they probably had to change the ingredients. It says all natural ingredients. I don't remember it saying that before. Oh. I know, we want the unnatural. No.

I'll drink the Kool-Aid. It's just sugar water. It's just took down that sunny D like it was medicine. Okay. The bread's taste good. I don't drink orange juice very often, but it's good. Sunny D is good, dude.

Let's get this out of the room. It stinks. And when we come back. It's very depressing to smell cafeteria food, actually, now that I'm thinking about it. You know? This is not bringing about good memories. I'm like, wait, I hated school.

Why am I doing this? I'm okay, when we come back, we have the experiences, and yeah, I'm going to go brush my teeth. See you guys soon. Hey, sorry to interrupt again, but our next sponsor of the day is Buffy. Yes, Buffy, I love Buffy so much. I've talked about them a million times. They make award-winning betting that's as soft on you as it is on the earth. We've talked about it so many times, but their breeze comforter, their breeze sheet set.

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check it out. I know I've talked about it so many times. So if you haven't checked it out yet, just give it a chance. Best betting I've ever tried. And I'm not just saying that. All right, hope you enjoy the rest of the show. Bye. Okay, conspiracies. We have some very interesting ones. Um, Quick thing, is there a type of person that believes it can... Nearly home. Isn't home where we all want to be? Reba here for Realtor.com, the pro's number one most trusted app.

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with two-year battery, head-to-to-to-to-to-H view and simple setup. Shop now at Amazon.com slash blink for just $6999. Because what is I called? Realists? Yeah. I mean, right now I'd say almost realists in some ways, but I think it's just people open to alternatives

or don't like what is being told because if you think that we're not being lied to in some way, you're kind of like being a little rose-colored glasses. Yes, no. There's a lot of lies going on. Doesn't it take an intelligent, what is it like an intelligent person to entertain a ridiculous thought? Yeah, I mean.

So I think it's pretty intelligent. to think about conspiracy theories and entertain them a little bit. I don't think it's a negative thing or a stupid thing like some people make it out to be. No, I think it's-propaganda. I think it's good to be able to question. If you don't question, you're just like taking everything at face value. I think that might be more dangerous. I don't know.

Good opening. Well, let's get it's questioning, y'all. It's recommended. Believe in conspiracies. I was recommended by a licensed therapist. Okay, I'm going to show you guys a quick clip. And then we're going to talk about it afterward. Okay, so this is the iconic opening from Disney movies.

Oh my God Childhood Childhood Oh, queen I could hear a VHS cassette Going into a VCR Me too Are you gonna get copy?

Incredible Probably Okay, now what if I were to tell you That what I just showed you Isn't real? Is that like one of those things Like Berenstein bears or Bernstein bears It's a Mandela Effect, yes

So somebody created that Because the actual Disney logo intro does not have Tinkerbell creating the swoop and dotting the hut. I was going to say, I don't remember that. Really? I thought that was specific to Peter Pan maybe. Me too. I thought, oh. Yes, Peter Pan movie.

Like, that's where she came out. I didn't think that was like a universal one. She wasn't at every Disney. You just thought Tinkerbell was for every Disney movie? She's the Disney's icon. Huh? But not until that movie was out. Think about like that movie came out forever ago.

I like the castle and everything. I feel like this is a horror movie and you just woke up and everything's different. You're like, wait a second, guys. Wait, hold on, hold on. Wait, Disney movie intro. Okay, so this is the classic one. Wait, why does that sound scary? Is this a different song?

Nope. Oh, so there is the thing above it. Yeah, just not the shakerbell. She doesn't do the poop. Then what does she do the boop on? On the eye, she dots the eye. When? No, just in the one you showed us.

I know, but that one's not real. Why do I remember it being real? Because it was probably from Peter Pan. She didn't do it in Peter Pan. I don't know. Okay. Oh. Sorry, Shane.

Well, if you guys remember Tinkerbell doing this swoop over the castle like I do, let me know in the comments so I don't feel so alone. He needs some friends. So, Jared, you said that you have a big update. So, Katie, just to get you up to speed, glitter. Nobody knows what it is or where it came from. There are only two companies in the whole world that make glitter, and they won't say how they make it.

or where it's very hush, hush. And the main buyer of glitter is top secret. Nobody knows what it is, and they don't want anybody to know who's buying all the glitter because it would freak everyone out. Jared. I got the inside scoop. A little afraid to share it even. Wait, I'm scared.

No, I'm kidding. I actually think it's kind of stupid now that I think about it. Okay. So I'm hyping it a little bit. But someone referred and said, what if they use it in sugar and, like, dessert decorative treats for cakes? Oh, like the shiny. bits and stuff because there's like crystally stuff in sugar but is that why would

they not be able to tell us that because we should be because we're ingesting it like a hundred different people told me this in my emails they said that the main buyer of glitter is the military and they're putting it in weapons which I don't know if that's confirmed or not Chris I go to Google that I think I actually said that because I read I said Mariah Carey made a bomb movie and that's why glitter is in bombs yes yeah I was joking it was right yeah so like glitter bombs existed before YouTube well Well, supposedly, yeah, that that is one of the main buyers of glitter.

I don't know. So maybe, actually, I think we could probably assume that it's not sugar so we could take that off the list. Nobody seemed to believe that could be possible. I just want to put it on the table. Really fell flat for me, Jared. Kind of, yeah. I regret it. I regretted it immediately.

We both flopped. Yeah. Well, maybe this will get us back. Okay, this is one of those really stupid things that you're like, this is so stupid and then it might work. It worked for me. So this is from the real Jay Becker. I want everybody at home and all of you guys to do this. with him. And let's see what happens.

Let me show you something mind-blowing. What color is my glove? Blue. Blue, good. What word is this? Rose. Rose. Good. And this one? Cherry. Cherry. Very good. And this one. Apple. Apple. Phenomenal. Now, why did you think of any dessert food?

Don't say it. Double tap the screen. to lock it in. Now I want you to take the last letter of that dessert food and think of any animal that starts with that letter. Okay, got it. You're thinking elephant. Whoa!

Elephant. Yeah. Wait, who got elephant? Me? Well, because apple pie. Right? So he knows. Because we're talking about apple.

I said Sunday. Oh, maybe a lot of dessert foods. Yeah, because brownie. I actually thought eel and I figured it was elephant because. Because if you're playing the odds, 90% of desserts end with an E chocolate. Oh, yeah. Most things. Most people are going to think about elephants.

So I thought of eel. Did you think of eel because you didn't want to think of elephant? I didn't want to succumb to this fucking guy, dude. Eel? That's the first animal that kept you. I'm a fish guy. But E would be elephant. But it did turn into elephant.

You know what? It's like magic, though. If you just play along, the aha, like, oh my gosh, he knows. It's so fun. I'm not going to give that to this guy. You double tap it to walk it in. Look at him. He wants your admiration.

Okay. Now, this is another one of those audio illusion ones. A lot of people send me this to my email too. So listen to this clip from Icarly and tell me what you hear him say. The options are fuck off or back off. A little ice bird. What the port now? Back off, jerk!

Harley! I heard fuck off. I thought fuck off, but it was really. You heard fuck up? Okay, let me play one more time. I heard back off that time. It depends on what I look at. What? If I look at the fuck off jerk, I hear fuck off jerk.

If I look at back off jerk, I hear back off jerk. This is good for rewatchability for this TikTok to go viral. Because then you keep watching it. Wait a minute. Yeah, I've seen ones with like 20 things that you can hear. Imagine that click back ability. We're gonna go viral on TikTok. Let's make one tonight.

Algorithmically, it's gonna be like, yeah, yeah, keep going back and watching it again. That's like these 3,000 things. What do you hear? Um, so what is okay? I don't know. I have to assume it's back off jerk if it's on Disney. And it's high parley.

Yeah, it's back off jerk. Um, okay. Now, this is something that I had never seen before and there had a lot of you. So I'm sure a lot of people have seen it. So if you have seen it, I'm sorry. But this was so crazy to me and the ending, it got me. It got me good. Let's just win in this on ramp.

There's no signs blocking it off. And I thought I was fucking high. That's just a pit on the on. Is it really a pit? What the fuck? They don't have the shit locked off or nothing. Must be the lights. Watch this guy's coming.

There's a guy coming behind me. A yo. Oh my god. Oh my god. Yeah. Who is he gonna fucking go? What? My heart is like racing. Well, it can't be a real pit.

I mean... Oh my god! Oh shit! Oh, it's water. And then as soon as the car went, you could see the reflection. You could see it with water. Isn't that fucking crazy? That is nuts.

That feels like a problem. Even when he's driving past it, it gives me like my stomach drops. If I was driving and saw that, that, I feel like that could cause an accident. Yes, definitely. The car slowed down. I mean, they were confused. He was stopped. He's like, what the hell is?

All three of the cars freaked out about it. So it's like. It clearly looked. Terrifying. Wow, that's a good TikTok, and I hate TikTok. And no one drove right through it. Well, that was on Instagram reels. How adults, yeah.

So this one is crazy. I got an email from Elva, and she said, this optical illusion nearly ended my relationship. Wow. Solid relationship going on out there. Compared to the other voicemails we got, I'm like, this is this ended the relationship? Okay. The dress. So, I'm just going to play this whole clip.

So watch this person on a swing. What way are they swinging? Forward. Forward, right? They're coming toward us. No, they're swinging away. I got away. Forward.

Do you think they're going away? Yeah. They're swinging away from the camera. I thought they were coming toward me. I thought their back was towards us. Yeah. Really? Yeah, their back is towards us.

Are you serious? I think his back is towards us. I mean, look at his, look at the direction. Now it's forward. Wait, you don't see him coming my way? Now I do. Wait, do you see him coming my way? I feel like it was altered.

I don't. I don't. Rewinded it. I got to see it again. I mean. Well, they're going to give you a little example. Yeah, he's facing the building. It looks weird.

You're like, why are you swinging? Well, because his legs are bending like this. Yeah. Okay. Now it looks like he's facing the building. Yeah. Definitely. It does.

So that's the way he's actually going. Yeah. That's what it looks like. Okay. I didn't see that at first. I saw him facing me. The second time we saw it, all I could see was facing us. Oh, really?

Like Jared said, because the way the knees are bending and stuff too. That's what. I don't know, dude. Wait, look, look. See, look at the cartoon. Oh, that way. That was the opposite way. Now watch.

Now look. Wait, they just see this to watch the bar. Wait, I'm gonna freak out if I'm right. And look at this diagram, okay? No, he's not. Wait, hold on. No, the bar, look at the bar. This way.

The bar passes his head. Wait. So he's in front? Hold on. So that means that his back is to the camera. No, his back is away from us because look the bar, look at the bar. Look at the bar, look at the bar. Look at the bar.

I'm gonna bust. This is a fucking, this is a fucking, shit. Oh my God, my two dicks are gonna. come i don't know where it's going to come from oh my god that's weird i think that was just light refractions of the you think that the swing was like this way do what i mean but it was really that way i need a drink do you see what i mean like because it looked like they were swinging at the building but the way that the bar so it's confirmed they're not swinging towards the building no they're swinging away i think it was all cg i it didn't even look like real movement to me of the human

kind of time okay someone who edited this old video i don't know if we should do this or not because i don't know if it's going to make us sick this might give me vertigo but i got this a lot too in my emails this is from somebody named mr magic cardistry and it's one of those ones where you well do you guys get dizzy fast no okay let's do it all right so try to look at the screen as good as you can keep your eyes focused on the blue eye in the middle of the screen and whatever you do do not break eye contact with the blue eye in a few seconds but not you guys at home do this too at your hand, wall, and ceiling, and everything will be stretched. It's going to feel like your brain is broken.

I'm so scared. It's a super weird feeling, but you do not want to miss this. So just keep starting to look. Let's do this. Don't blink till 10, 9, 8, 7. My eyes were trying to blink. I know. I already blinked like 10 times. Same.

Now look around. Everything should be stretched. Oh, my God! I! Oh my God! Oh my God, your head is huge. Oh my god, your head is huge. Oh my god, the cats are running in now and they look crazy. I'm going to throw up.

Oh my God, this is a bad idea. We should smoke salvia, dude. If this is tripping you guys out, we should smoke salviy. I don't think I can handle any more than that. That looked like in every movie where they use like an effect to show the people are high in the movie.

Like, that's what that looked like to me. I'm like sweating. Yeah. That was horrible. In our brains. That was horrible. Why did this kid do that to us? Thanks for giving you a migraine kid.

Yeah. Okay. Speaking of illusions, this is kind of in a similar way. So this was sent to us by Sarah, and she said, I think the simulation theory is real, because look at what's happening right now. So I've seen these before. I haven't seen these specific ones, but this is crazy to me. Also, why are we doing this? Okay.

So these are billboards. Why do they do this to people? Isn't that crazy? What? So that's a billboard. For what? I don't know. That's so cool.

But it literally looks like a huge giant. So it's an electronic billboard? It's got to be a screen right? Yeah, it's a screen. But then it got me thinking like, okay, well, let me show you. I kind of love it. Let me show you. Let me show you.

This one is really, this one could cause a car accident. What? Whoa. Yeah, how could you not look up? Why would they do that? Oh, I would crash. Isn't that crazy? I mean, it's epic, but yeah, definitely a danger.

Yeah, it's like those ones that are super bright on the highway at night and you're like, why would you do that? Why are you trying to blind me? Wait, I'm not understanding how this one works. because the building ends and where is the image being projected? I don't know. What do you mean? Maybe the building doesn't really end.

No, I think it's a fake building. Or not fake building, but I think the building But the same side is you. Oh, wow, that's gnarly. So this to me is showing, right? We're in 20203. Everybody's like, is the simulation theory real? No, it's fake.

It's too outlandish. I don't know. If this is happening in 2023, imagine in 21, 23. Like, I think we could be living in a simulation. Well, we could put ourselves in a simulation. What if everything is like that? Like, you could just jump right in.

What if everything? Like, the way that we just looked at that eyeball, whatever, now all of our vision was going crazy. Oh, my God, I just, I think I'm going to throw up. Open up your cups. My God. Whoa. Where's a Sunny D bottle?

Okay, this is from Carly. She emailed and she said that she watched my conspiracy video where we were showing, talking about ghost kitchens, which if you guys didn't watch it, basically it means like Red Robin has a bunch of fake restaurants they created on DoorDash and Postmates like chicken samis are fresh set and you order from them and then when you get the food it's just red robin so it's just a big scam basically to make more money whatever so she was like i ordered from a place called chase elliott's chicken tenders

and then when i looked on the map and i went to the actual address i found out that chase elliott's chicken tenders was just hooters that's happened to us like when sean and i order from like grubhub and stuff yeah it'll be like a kitchen that doesn't it's just like a kitchen like it's not even a place and the food is always terrible yes it's always but they they make it look good and it sounds you're like oh and you're in a new town you like don't really know like we were in houston and we tried to order like smoke salmon on a bagel and it was like fucking terrible it was like a thin cooked chunk of sand it was probably red rocks it's probably carl's junior it's probably hooters yeah it's probably hooters yeah so i want to play a game so i looked it up and i found a bunch

of fake restaurants that are on door dast and postmates right now and i want you guys to guess what actual restaurant is. Okay, so here we go. I like this. Okay, so the first one, the Burger Den. And are all these like national chains? Yes. Red Robin. Okay. So look at the Burger Den. Look how good that looks. Burger Den. That looks like Burger King. Yeah. Now, I'm going to give you a little hint on this one. The name of the actual restaurant. There's a hint to it in the title, The Burger Denny's. Oh my God. Yes, you're right. Oh. Wow, this is a good game. This is a very good game.

Um, yikes. Okay. The meltdown, handcrafted sandwiches with attitude. I almost ordered from this the other day. That's crazy. This isn't a place. You're still falling for this shit. Look at the meltdown.

Anybody have any ideas of what the meltdown? Panera bread. No, hold on, Arby's. Ooh, good choice. No, but good choice. Panera. Okay. I'm kind of cheating because the time that I went to order this.

Oh. So you already know. I know. Say it. What do you think it is? I think it's Denny. It's Denny! Oh, man.

Shout out to Denny's, dude. I said that because it was at like 12 a.m. or something, and literally everything else is closed. Also, these are the saddest-looking Denny's at one. Yeah. Okay. The Tender Shack. Dang good chicken. It's somehow also Denny's.

Dude, I, if I was a betting man, I might say Denny's right now. KFC? Okay. Ooh, good. Interesting. Maybe Hooters. Maybe we're back to looters. Okay, Rylans.

I have to say Denny's. You're going to have to say Denny's well. The actual, what? It can't be, is it? Nope. It's Albax Day House. I would never have gotten that. I know, I never would have thought about that.

Tender shack. I know. Okay. It's just wings. Wing stop. Killer wings. Chili. Oh, choice.

I didn't mean to give them away. That was an accident. I was like, Chili's isn't real? Where is Chili's at? You have. Oh, well, dude, you just mind fuck. Oh, this one. Oh, I just, that's an immediate.

I just gave this one away. So there's Libby's barbecue, and it's actually Ruby Tuesdays, and when you go to Ruby Tuesdays, there's a sign that says Libby's barbecue pick up here. It's like, they're not even being shy about it anymore. Who the fuck is Libby? I know. That's the specific. Mr. Beast Burger.

So, okay, this isn't like doxing him or something, because he's open about the fact that his Mr. Beast Burger isn't like an actual restaurant. No, it's like a recipe that he has to make, right? It's basically like he. He goes to chains and they make the burgers in certain areas. So what restaurant, there's actually three? Do you think Mr. Beast is actually... Jack in the Box.

Oh, my God. That's such a better answer, but no. Chilies. Jack in the Box has a couple good burgers. Are they sit down or drive-through? Sit down. I know one of them. What?

Should I say or should I not write that? Yeah. One of them is Bucca de Bepo. That is number one. That is an odd place to make burgers. Why would you put a burger or Bucat-Bepa? Yeah. Booked Bepo does look like a Mr. Beas video.

This is genius, though, because it generates business for these companies, and he gets a cut. It's like money-making for everyone. And Bougatbo's everywhere, but it's Italian food. Applebee's? Applebee's. On the border. Oh. Oh, okay.

So the theme is they're not places that sell burgers. No. Bougatabbebo, and the final one is a place I've never heard of called Bravo. I don't even know. I think to a degree that's smart because maybe they brought in the ingredients just to do the burgers. Because if you told me it was Denny's, I'd be. like, well, why wouldn't I just go to Denny's and get a fucking murder? Right, they already have it.

You know what I'm saying, but like, I don't know. I get why it could be smarter. I'm just going to be very vulnerable and honest right now. I have diarrhea, and I think it's related to that visual thing we did. It started up here and it has moved and now I'm getting diarrhea. So should we get into the recap? Thank you for that, dude. Thank you for being that vulnerable with us.

I know it made you uncompy. Okay, I'm just going to really quickly throw this. I'm going to throw this in really fast just because I keep pushing it off to the next episode and I never do it so I'm just going to finally do it. Did you know there's a quick theory

that the colored green is unlucky? Oh my God. I think it's lucky. Your background. That was not on purpose. It was not on purpose. So I'm not going to show these pictures. A bunch of bad things happened

to people that were wearing green. And when I was like, oh, this is stupid. I'm like, this can't be a real thing. Green being whatever. Then I heard race car drivers avoid green vehicles. Is that crazy? Like, it's a superstitious thing.

Imagine how much Mountain Dew got to pay somebody to drive their car. They're like, hey, oh, my God. They're like, fuck, you got the Mountain Dew car this year, dude, you know? Maybe they're like, it's like a lime. Like they try to give it a different color. Chartreuse. It's like hot yellow. It's pink.

Well, before I, diarrhea. Let's get to the recap. Let's get to the recap. Meet the most capable CRV Honda has ever dreamed up. The all-new C. With all-terrain tires and available enhanced traction control, it's built for wherever the day takes you. Heated front seats and a heated steering wheel,

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Cool off with Gatorade Summer Blaze, available only at Circle K. When you're feeling the heat, Circle K makes your day. My camera action, rideage recap is about to have. Happen, Rylins Recap. On today's episode of the Shane Dawson podcast, our friend and licensed therapist, Katie Morton's here to save our lives. Woo!

Yay! Oh, oh, uh, uh, the guy with two dicks. Oh my gosh, in shocking news, I didn't know this was possible. Man with two dicks. Is fucking everyone? We also found out he's bisexual. Bisexual king.

So we, everyone has a chance. Is there an only fans? Can we find out right now? He's one. of his dicks attracted to guys and ones attracted to girls. I have questions. Oh, we're not psychopaths officially, finally confirmed.

We can officially and finally confirm after tests and tests of trying to find out if we're psychopaths. It is confirmed and must happen to be one. Sip and save at Circle K. Definitely not sponsored. Save yourself money. You know what, yeah.

In Jared's campaigning for a sponsorship with Circle K, you can get your sip and say for $10 a month at every circle K. Yeah. Oh, Katie went to a gay hotel. And saw lots of dicks. Oh my gosh. Dicks out.

Sun's out. Head to Palm Springs for the what's the hotel? The CCBC. The CCBC. Dang. Shooting for that sponsorship. Were you allowed to be naked? Did they encourage the women to be naked? No. They don't throw up. I think you could. They don't throw up. Is that what you said?

Well, it's a good guy. But it's a clothing optional resort. so I assume. A woman walks in and they're all just going, yeah! Was anybody, did you see anyone

fucking in public? No, but I was told not to go near the waterfall and I never did. Wow, don't go chasing them. No. Oh, Cece's pregnant. God bless Cece, and I mean it.

She's pregnant. Congratulations. I hope this marriage lasts long. We hope for the best. Us too. Me too. Love at first sight doesn't exist.

Oh. Oh, licensed therapist. Confirms. Love at first, the site does not exist. I don't want to crush people. Maybe possibly. Oh, Disney never had Tinkerbell, even though I think they did. And Shane's Gone Crazy Alert, Mandela Effect confirmed.

Tinkerbell was never in the Disney iconic intro. Update. Shane was right about the swing and the guy on the swing. Oh, my gosh. I still don't believe the swing thing. It was, yeah, a mind fuck. Yes, it was. The cafeteria food?

Oh, what's the place called? We all try Gunther's cafeteria food, and I wouldn't buy it. It wasn't great, right? No, it was not great. And Capri's, not as good as we remember. Man, tell me of that. Capri's sucks. How are the squeezes?

Huh? Were the squeeze it's good? That sucks. And if you order fake food, it probably came from Denny's. Yes. Dang. Yeah, expose Denny's. Denny's is every restaurant you don't know on DoorDash, Postmate, and Grubhub.

So if you're ordering from a random place, it's Denny's. Oh, yeah, if you're a girl and your boyfriend's watching gay porn, uh-oh. Hate to break it to you, but if your boyfriend's gay, you've got to accept it, break up, move on. No, it's heartbreaking, for sure. It is after three years. Oh, we all thought elephant. Jared's lying. Jared's not like other girls.

He's different from the rest And he thinks On a different level than all of us Oh gee, this is a little condescending Yeah, okay I think you do Aw Yeah well I appreciate that then

Jared's a genius Jared's a genius alert I do think you question reality More which leads to higher waves Which was confirmed by a licensed therapist The conspiracy theorists are highly intelligent people Not confirmed I'm not confirmed

I'm definitely not convert Yikes. All right. Well, there you have it for this week's episode of the Shane Dawson podcast. We hope you enjoyed it. You can watch us every other week wherever you get your podcast and right here on YouTube. Make sure you're following us all on social media, but especially our friend Katie Morton. Where can everyone find everything you do?

It's just Katie Morton, K-A-M-R-T-O-N on YouTube, Instagram, TikTok, and the like. And you have podcasts. I do. It's called Ask Katie Anything. And that's where I just answer mental health questions. And then I have a goofy one with my husband. called opinions that don't matter. That's what you call my opinions.

Weird. And you have books. I have two books. Yeah. My first one, Are You Okay? Is available and traumatized anywhere you read or listen to your books? You have something else, right?

I have workshops on my website. Oh, my God. Oh, Patreon? Yeah, have a Patreon page where I have live streams every month to answer more questions, things like that. 100? How have you accomplished so many? Well, thank you, Katie, for coming.

We love you so much. And I'm so excited. Hopefully, we didn't scare you off. with our two dicks and all of our cugs and yeah hopefully you guys have fun it with whatever the hell this was and we will see you guys next time bye if you're the guy with two dicks please email me oh my gosh i'd love to have him on the show yes oh please you want to see it too we're gonna go we're gonna fight me bye Thank you.