The Shane Dawson Podcast - Conspiracy Theories 2023! and WE’RE MARRIED!!!!

Episode Date: January 16, 2023

In today’s episode the guys start the new year off with a bang! From “M3GAN” to “Mickey” to the most shocking “Peruvian Fact” of all time! So grab your big glass of PILK and get cozy on the couch, cause it’s going to be a WILD RIDE! Happy 2023!!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Okay, watch this clip and just tell us if you notice anything. Oh, do you hear it? No. Oh my gosh. No. Whoa, whoa, whoa. No. I don't know.

That's not real. I have no idea. That is real. That's edited. That's something. That's crazy. The authority, dude. That was strong.

Did you do push-ups before this? You're, like, jacked up, dude? Do you drink a mountain dew or something? I'm just really clumsy. No, dude, it's coming across. It's like, you're excited. I have excited. He ramped up.

Chris, okay, before we get started, how are you doing? Are you okay? You're doing good? Yeah. Do you want to check the angles on your new machine? Yes. Show everyone! Wait, show you, show your camera.

I'm so excited because I got this guy. The four show. Now I can switch between the different angles. and I can see everyone's angle at the same time. Wow, wow. Is this pillow behind me ugly? I need it for support. Wait, let me switch back.

I can check in here. Wow. I think it's cool. Chain, what do you think? I don't care. After setting up for three hours, you don't care? No, you know what I do care about? Our show.

Welcome back, everyone. Okay, before we get into the fashion update, don't worry, we'll play the song. Hey, welcome back to whatever the hell this is. We are here in L.A. This is really weird to be here. We're married. There's a lot to cover.

Drop it like that. So subtly. Wow. I mean, I don't, wait, my ring. I don't have one. And I don't see another. Actually, I bought myself fine. But before we get into all of that, how are you guys doing?

This is a crazy moment. I can't believe we're here. I can't believe you're married. I'm good. I'm great. I'm excited. I felt it. Yeah.

It's a full moon. We're all fucked up. Is it a full moon? What is it? You know, every time something's going wrong, I look up and I'm like, oh, I knew it. Okay, welcome back. Before we get started, I haven't played this in so long. I'm sorry, Rowling, you're still not a part of it.

Fashion update. Fashion update. What's he wearing? What's the outfit for the day? What's got Jared looking sexy? Why does Chris dress oh so gay? What dumb shirt did shit? Aw.

Yeah. Wow. everything's going wrong just imagine the rest of the song so yes fashion update now i have a theme for next week that's like more costume based and then for this episode i didn't really have time so i just went on nortrum.com and i bought whatever was on clearance and i found all these um ice cream clothes which i guess is like feral's brand i think but also i don't know so we're all wearing ice cream and it's cute thank you i love what you've got me over here yeah you have a little ice cream cream sweater a nice little color gradient on different things it's got is very like saved by the

bell to me yeah yeah you know very cool um Jared's wearing a little alphabet soup moment i don't quite understand i don't know if there's any actual words in his jacket um by the way if you're not watching the episode if you're an audio listener only check out the podcast video version and uh chris yours is more simple i got you a little lightning moment you're my little storm and then if you turn around there's a little cowboy on the back it's really cute um what about yours oh my god sorry Me, I have this little jacket, you know, it's half black and half denim and, um, yeah. A two-ton moment. Yeah, yeah, I feel good.

I'm like, listen, we're getting back into the swing of things. I'm trying to remember how this show goes. It's been a long time. We have a lot to talk about. Like? Well, okay. So we're married. Congratulations.

Do you want to explain what happened or do you want to explain what happened or do you want to, we can trade off? You start. Okay, so basically we were about to come back to LA and we were talking about, okay, we should have a wedding, we should finally do it. We've been engaged for four years? Longer than we've been not engaged. Then we were looking into it and then my bookkeeper was helping us and she's like, oh, you know what? You should get married in Colorado because it's a lot easier. And then she's like, but you'd have to do it before we go back to L.A.

And I'm like, is it easy? And she's like, I think so. Just go down to the courthouse. So we did. Is there a better way to tell that story? No, I mean, long story short, that's what we did. because like a lot of people will go get their marriage license and then you'll sign it with your officiant but those only last for 35 days and the day we were planning to get married was way past

that but we wanted to lock it down in Colorado so literally stopped listening to what do you mean what typically when people get married they go get their wedding license and it's just not signed and then you sign it at the physical wedding with your officiant I'm having this a husband moment right now because I'm like not listening to my wife husbands dude zoning out is like a very fucking special talent because it's actually a polite

thing you know it could be a polite thing and I don't want to you know give too many specifics but when people are very very complicated like when they order food sometimes it annoys me a little bit but it's okay because maybe to them it's annoying how I order so I've learned to zone

that out I'm so good at it at a restaurant, I'll order and then, boom, I'm out. Where do you go? It's like, boom, I'm out. Where are you? And then, like, if I'm with Sandy, you should be like, hello, I'm out, sorry. You know? Where are you?

Any restaurant, really. No, like, where are you mentally? Oh, anywhere. Anywhere. I'm just the first thing I look at, like, oh, I wonder who makes that. I wonder if, you know, like, whatever you got to do to zone out, but it's incredible, you know, like even you were saying something earlier about how a noise you were making with the mic might be annoying, you know, well, to me,

it was you know but it's okay because like right when it was i heard it i just zoned out well i thought you were going to say like oh when you were telling me a pivotal story about your life really right oh no it's like it's a it's a it's a superpower for for some people you know what i mean wait a minute marriage treat cheap tricks cheap marriage life hack but i mean obviously it's you don't overabuse the superpower you know what i'm saying you can't just but you know Have you ever been driving for like an extended amount of time and realize that you weren't paying attention? Oh, yeah.

That is really scary. And you get home and you're like, I do that a lot. I don't know if it's a superpower or like super scary. I mean, think about it. You're driving while not paying attention. And you're safe. Okay, not to jump into conspiracies too fast,

but what if that's when like our real version that's playing the simulation is just like going to the bathroom or something? And then we come back and we're like, whoa. Wow, maybe. Wow. And I just go to the bathroom. a lot. Whoa.

It happens almost every time I drive. Should I be concerned? The other people on the road should be going to be going on. Yeah, I would be giving you a 10 minute head start before I leave tonight. Because I'm like always in like two hours or two to three hours of traffic all the time. Like everywhere I'm going for shoes or work or anything. That's not bad, bro. I'm talking about going 70, 80 miles an hour doing that shit.

And traffic is to be expected. Chris, actually, this has nothing to do with what you're just talking about. but um perfect i'm ready to move on from the driving conversation and that's it with our wedding can i say something can i say something about the wedding yes yes okay so you had texted me saying that it happened we're married yeah and uh and i got no texts from you chris and no congratulations i'm just kidding but you guys follow each other on instagram but i also i also got you guys a friend he did Chris got us really sweet gifts multiple gifts you like here not one not two five well they were different one was for the wedding one was for christmas but anyway um but yeah i don't

know i you guys are are so cute and in real life and like and i don't have very many this sounds really bad i don't have a lot of super positive examples of a gay relationship and like i don't know it's just so i don't know i've you you guys are so good to each other and you're so sweet and then like i'm you know to have like people that i think are cute and treating each other well be now married. You're probably the only example I have that in my life. And it just like, I don't know, it means a lot to me and I'm so proud of you too and I love you too. And it's like, I don't know, this is very cool. So congratulations. Thank you. That also, first of all, we love you. Thank you. But that also is the perfect segue into my next thing, which was you said earlier that you had a

question for us that could possibly lead to our divorce. Oh, no. I mean, okay, it's just, It's actually very silly, but it caused a really big argument with me and my boyfriend. Like a huge argument. Oh my God. Don't start a fight with us on our first week of marriage. I got the song ready. We got to fight. But if nothing may happen because it's a silly question.

It's like a silly thing. It may be nothing. If I get in a real life fight with him over this, I swear to God, Chris, I will come this may be such a silly flop. And you may have heard it already. But I'm actually going to ask it wrong. But my friend's girlfriend, Michelle, said, she was like, okay, so if it was a zombie apocalypse and Eric, like, Eric, if Chris was bitten and you knew he was going to turn to zombie, would

you kill him? And, like, vice versa. And I was like, of course, I would never kill the person I love. What are you talking about? Like, I'd leave them or whatever. And then Eric was like, yeah, I'd kill you. And I was like, what? And I'm like, but you love me.

And he's like, yeah, but you're turning to a zombie. And I'm like, how can you just kill the person you love? What do you mean? Okay, hold on. Sorry. When you said zombie apocalypse, I started doing the Jared Zone out there. Me too. Dude.

Dave, I was the only... If it was a zombie apocalypse, Shane got bitten. You knew he's eventually going to turn to a zombie. But what does that mean? Oh, no.

Like, he's no longer useful to me? No, if he's a zombie... If he's a zombie, he'll bite you and kill you. Oh, like, zombies are deadly? Yeah, yes. Okay. So are you going to kill him before he becomes a zombie?

Well, won't he just make me a zombie and then we'll be zombies together? I mean, you're both dead. That's a sweet answer, but you'll both be dead. Like ripping each other apart and, like, you know, I don't know. That's better than what I was thinking. You're not alive anymore.

Zombies are dead. Oh. Yeah. We're dead together. It's the afterlife, baby. So would you kill him and keep going on? Would you just leave it? Do you know what I mean?

So he got bit and I'm like. You know he's going to turn. In hours and minutes, who knows? Oh, I'm running, baby. You're just running and leaving him. You're ditching him. Really? Well, no, I would let you bite me, but like, that's not fun.

You'd let him bite him. Well, because I think we'd be zombies together. We'd be like. You're both dead. Zombifying the town together Yours is cuter than mine I was thinking like Did you ever see the movie

The Mist? Yes, I love that movie Well I was singing like the ending Where like I would make him kill me Or no no I would kill him No Wait hold on

He one of us would kill each other And then one of us would have to kill ourselves I'm not killing myself So you'd have to kill me Got it okay So I'd kill you and then I'd have to kill myself I'll follow through Oh

That's so sad If we're both bitten by zombies right We're both getting a guy Oh, he's bitten, you're not. You're not? You're not. I'll still go with you, babe. Aw, these are cute answers.

I'll put a suicide hotline at the bottom of this. These are cute answers that are making me question my relationship. Really? He'd just kill me. Kill him. Let me tell you my answer. Okay. I wouldn't want to be a zombie because it means I'm going to try to kill people.

You know what I mean? I don't want to kill people necessarily. So I would the second I saw Sandy turn. Okay. The second she turned, but you'd wait until she turned. The second she turned, I'd be ready and I'd tell her, you know, hey, I'm going to kill you. You know, I'd ask, do you want to kill people? She'd say, no, I'm going to kill you then, you know, and unfortunately.

But her last moments would be filled with, like, the most love she's ever received in her life. You know what I'm saying? And then. But I'm saving myself because I would get attached and I don't want to be a zombie. You know what I'm saying? Because the chances I live forever as a zombie. I don't know if I want to do that. Wow.

Yeah. Okay. Hi, welcome to my office. Oh, this is weird. Okay, this is a different location. Hopefully, does it look creepy on camera? It does. Okay, I have my Titanic poster, my scream poster.

Is there anything embarrassing behind me? Well, you can't really see it, but a huge picture of a lion and also a bunch of crystals. They're not working. I'm very excited because the first thing we're going to be talking about today is something that I loved. I watched it last night. And it is the new Netflix comedy special by Andrew Sanjee. called Cheeseburger. So if you're a fan of podcasts, you probably know who Andrew Santino is. He has two very big podcasts. One is called Bad Friends with Bobby Lee, which is so funny. I love it so

much. And the second one is Whiskey Ginger, where he does interviews. He's hilarious. He's a ginger like me. And one of my favorite podcasters. So when his people reached out for me to talk about his special, I got really excited because I'm a fan. So his new special is on Netflix right now. So go to Netflix and search Cheeseburger, Andrew Santino, and it should come up. A lot of the things in the special I relate to a lot. Some struggles in his childhood. Sometimes that he put objects in his butt. I mean, it's like I wrote it.

But it truly is one of the best comedy specials I've seen in a long time. And I'm just really proud of a fellow Ginger for, I don't know, doing a Netflix special. It's just really cool. And it's very rare for Ginger's to be out there. Do you know what I mean? I mean, yes. You know, Bryce Dallas Howard, Care Top. But, you know, we need more representation.

So go check it out. Santino Cheeseburger on Netflix. Go check it out right now. Support a fellow ginger and give it some love. Give it a thumbs up on Netflix. I don't know if you can do that,

but if you can, give it a thumbs up. All right, enjoy the rest of the episode. Hey, okay, sorry to interrupt the show, but we're really excited because we have new merch.

I'm so excited. This is my favorite collection. Oh, my God, collection. Fashion designer. This is my favorite drop that we've done. But this is our emojis. drop and so yeah if you look okay oh my god okay so let's start with Jared so we have the

conspiracy club crew neck hood and it has a little teddy bear and he's like has strings on him like he's being pulled apart and like you know he's being puppeted and it's really cute with spiral eyes chris over there we have the uh emo conspiracy club zip up hood finally a zip up oh yeah i'm a little disappointed there was a shirt on me and then on the freak i love you um and then on the sides on the sleeves. There's little, you know, emo, conspiracy club, little butterfly, little bear, little something. And then his beanie has little patches, their actual patches. And they have a little Shane Dawson podcast logo, little heart. And then Rylan has the T-shirt version, the Conspiracy Club. And then I have the zippy hoodie. But I have it unzipped because, you know,

I like to have it flowing like a robe. I typically leave them unzipped out of necessity. See it? We get it I'm a big one I'm a new email Hopefully you guys like it I actually do love it though Like I want everything

Oh you can have it all baby Shane Dawsonmerge.com We'll give you a special discount Oh my god Okay, enjoy the rest of the show. Sorry, we filmed this after we filmed the show, and we're all exhausted, so we're delusional. But yes, enjoy the rest of the show.

I went on Instagram, and I said, hey, what do you guys want us to talk about? Give us some questions. And I got so many people asking when your wife, Sandy, is going to finally appear on the pod. Does she want to do it? You know, I think she would be into it. Why not?

Wow, are you nervous? No. I mean, she's, why? would i be nervous why would you think i would be nervous i don't know because like have you ever because like she's not like a you know a YouTuber or like somebody who's whatever but like so are you wouldn't be nervous that once there's a microphone in front of her she's just going to be like oh let me give you old to you i think i am weirder with her than i probably am with you guys for sure you know what i'm saying but like it's all i'm not i don't know no i would love for her to share

some stories that i've never shared with you guys it's probably it'll probably be funny you know what Oh, my God, I just got the best idea ever. Chris, I don't want to make you uncomfortable, but you have to force your boyfriend to come out. Because Valentine's Day, what if we did a couple's episode? That would be really cute. So what's the plan? Because I did get a lot of people asking,

when are we going to get a boyfriend reveal? What's the point of line? Dude, I just had the perfect idea. What if we have a couple's episode? I'm about to fucking break out of my skin. And I can't because the jacket's a little tight, So this is as far as I can strands What if we have

Somebody be a game show host And we do a level of like one of these couples Fucking Like newlyway game? Yes See who what couple knows each other the best? We have three couples, yes That would be cute

Yes Who's going to be the judge? I don't know I mean I can be the judge Because my boyfriend probably won't be here Chris But what's going on? And he's going to kill you in a zombie apocalypse

Let's let's cut it out See you later. So what's going on? And end the relationship. He's done. So what's going on? Why is your boyfriend, or do you not want to talk about this? We can talk about it.

Okay, so why isn't he out yet? And when are you guys going to be like a cute little, you know, IG couple? In his defense, he's slowly come out. He's told at this point, basically all of his friends, like none of them knew. Right. And his mother and like siblings now. Have you never hung out with him and his friends? No, I mean, we had.

and they didn't know in the beginning. They know now. So, wait, you're like at all the family functions and stuff, and they just think you're what? Well, you know what's crazy is at this point, literally every, I think, almost every family member knows except one. And, uh... You just waiting for him to kick it?

I don't know. He's not old. And he's, like, deeply homophobic and I don't know. I don't know. But it's a close one, and it's like... The family's going to have. I have to choose you or him. Oh, no.

I don't want that. Oh, no. He also, like, provides for the whole family, and I can't afford that. Oh, no. Okay, so it's never going to happen. You're never going to get married? You're never going to have a little IG moment. I mean, I hope one day.

You need to give him an ultimatum. Oh, no. Him or me. Family or me. But you're married. You're married now. Right. Now especially.

Oh, no, no. I meant you say to him. him, him or me, not him or me, wait a minute, is that her divorce? You did call Chris Daddy fucking weird out. Wait, and his family is not aware of this podcast at all

or at a degree or like hasn't seen it or hasn't followed you on Instagram and you're obviously gay on Instagram. You know what I'm saying? Like, you don't hide being gay. Obviously gay on Instagram. What does that mean? Well, no, but like, or don't you... You're a big F word. But like a lot of people that watch

the podcast know you hear, like, don't you talk about them or no um i mean i don't think any of them watch this i think maybe a couple of them but the ones that know like not not not the one that doesn't know okay here's what we need to do this is a very special message to chris's boyfriend um you know come on we need you we need you we need you for the valentzies day show ruin your family to come on the show because they want the pottyants wants it i would love it i would also love to meet Karen's wife. Don't change the subject. I would. Oh my God. That's the first time I ever heard it. So yeah, let's do it. Wait a minute.

It can make it happen easily. I just realized if, oh no, never mind, because there's three white people here. I was going to say, because your wife and your boyfriend, that it would three Latin X and three white. We could back be a game. Yeah. Let's divide ourselves by race. That's a good premise. What are we in jail? I personally like it. I like exiting. But it's a unique way to look at it.

Everything was going so well. We had just got married and then. There's a reason I brought it up. Okay. The segment was not smooth enough. Because earlier we were talking about and I was making fun of white people as I do. Boom.

Or even. And then. And then. Yeah. And then I asked you, I was like, oh my God, wait a minute. I was like, like, do you and your family or your boyfriend's family? Like, do you guys make fun of white people? Like, when you're not around white people?

And you were like, oh, yeah. So then I started thinking, what do you say? Like, what's like, how do you make fun of white people? Do it to us. I mean, it's nothing bad. It's just like they'll do. They have like a white people voice? Yeah, exactly.

Do it. No, what does it sound like? Do it. Do it. Very like this, like Todd. No, it's not valid. It's always like, Hi, Bob, pleasure to meet you, pal, you know, like, things like that.

It's always, and it's always Bob is always the name. Oh, I think you're Todd. I think you're Ron. Stop it. What else did they say, Chris? Yeah. Just things like anything about IG? No, what?

I don't know. What are they big fun of? How we drive? Yeah. No, I mean, just like, cliche, like, I don't know how white people pronounce things. Like, how white people say like, Kisade. and like stuff. Get off, Napoleon.

Make yourself a damn cassidilla. Who the fuck says? Well, I would say, I would say cassidia. Is that wrong? That's pretty good. How would you say it? That was about the whitest thing

you could have said. To ask if that's wrong. It's casadea because in Spanish the two hours reflect a why. Yes. And cassidia, by the way, is because it's cheese and a tortilla. Caso is cheese,

tortilla? Caesadilla. Is that true? Is it cheese? Tortilla, yes. Is it Dia mean tortilla? Yeah, so the thing about the word tortilla has the yeah at the end of it, and the word cheese is queso in Spanish.

Where's the D from? So it's Casadilla. Where's the D from? Yeah. I think it's just a little send-off for the fucking Dia, you know? Casiaia. All of your Mexican family can make fun of this. I'm giving them all the material.

Hey, I've been working on my Spanish. I love going to Mexican. And it is Mexican because earlier I asked you, I was like, well, what's the tech? How do I say the technical word for his? family, and you said Mexican. Yeah, they are Mexican. You're Peruvian, he's Mexican. Correct.

Got it. And if they were together, they'd be Latinx. Yes, that's true. Peraxian. But also some Latino people don't even like the parliotian. That's a whole thing. By the way, I think we said this already, but Peruvian Spanish and Mexican Spanish is different. Like, words are different.

So, like, I don't know, I can't confirm gacetia because we don't have quesidias. What? They're like, and like, they say aquacate for avocados and we say palta. So, like, everything is so. different you know see that's why your boyfriend needs to come because we need like and then your wife like there's a lot of different you know they can speak they can speak in their native tongue you know they're both made there i mean my wife she's really mexican she's really mexican you know like her heritage is really mexican yeah you know i've been working on my spanish i might

understand some of it it would be cool that'd be cool i would love that um okay wait okay sorry ryan i do i feel bad i feel like i feel like i feel bad i feel like i really just zoomed right past our wedding. If you guys want the full experience of our really romantic wedding day, go to Rinald vlogs. Yeah, I mean, I think everything is summed up beautifully there. All of the emotions were captured in real time

because, I don't know, we can't recreate it through storytelling. We could try. No, I think that my favorite moment was they made us, like, say out loud these, like, vows, kind of, but not really. They were very legal.

Hereby make application for a license to unite in marriage. It is scary how easily you could just go get married. We didn't even have an appointment. $35. Let's go skip in here, pay $35 and say that we were not under a conservatorship, and bam, we're married. It's like our whole lives are intertwined legally.

And then the woman rang the bell. She went ding, ding, ding. And I've never laughed harder in my life. And the courtroom's like, yay! And we're like, oh. Were there other people in there getting married at the same time as you? Mainly just employees. When I went in there just to get the marriage license,

there's a bunch of people getting married. Oh, really? Yeah. In L.A., it's, well, maybe it was the day I was there. I don't know. But there's usually, like, photographers there taking pictures. They have a little area you can stand by. Wow.

Well, we only have a few more minutes before we have to take a break. But before we go, do you want to give us some marriage tips? Like, our first year of marriage, what should we expect? I mean, do you expect it to be different now that you guys are married in certain ways? I don't think so. I mean, besides using the word husband, I feel like, like, if anything, I feel like we're, I don't know, we felt a little less, I think. It definitely makes it feel a certain amount of, like, solidity to the, to the relationship.

But I think the whole point of, uh, of a, or the whole goal of a marriage is to be solid partners for each other. Right. I think you guys actually display a lot of part, like amazing partner qualities already. So just you guys seem to be very honest with each other, you know, it's just really about being honest with each other and just working towards common goals and allowing. each other to be their own individuals as well, which so you guys, I mean, I would say don't let marriage change your inner relationship and just keep it going like that. But that's the goal of any marriage. Good communication, be partners, be there for each other to be supportive. You know what I mean? That's why you want someone that's going to add and contribute to your life, not someone

that's going to like suck away from your life. And you want to be able to be with someone that contributes and benefits you and it makes things funer, but also understands when you just need to be by yourself, stuff like that. What? What are you saying yes to everything that's negative? You're like, looking at me? It's not. It's not. No, he's scouting at me. He's like, yes, he needs to end yes. Just to be fair. As human

beings, we all have moments regardless. So like there's always going to be little fights and stuff like that. Yeah, like us. It's hard to be considerate of the whole moment and not just be in your head sometimes to get mad or whatever. But it's, you know, just know that what is a fight really going to break up a marriage? Probably not. You know, it's normal. I was only saying yes because we do.

that is something we've been good at is I need my alone time and you need your alone time and we do a good job at it well I I sleep till like noon so you have your morning and then I go to bed at like 4 a.m. and you go to bed at like 9 yeah we both have our alone time it's great and I do think we're very communicative and we talk about anything that's bothering us the only thing is and I only have 30 seconds left to ask this but what does our kid call us because we're both dad dad one and dad too thing one or thing two I always thought it would be like dad and pop or pops or papa I think that just

calls both dad um interesting if you guys have any ideas on what our kids should call that just calls both dad I just think his dad whoever says hey first dad and daddy it's a competition every time you know okay we'll be right back Rocket Money I am so excited

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I was on the news. It was actually very funny because me and do you remember rated R.R. Richard Ryan? So we used to go to Hollywood and just film random videos for a channel I had cool guy with glasses. So one day

we didn't know what to do and we ended up going into a hot topic and there was Justin Bieber shirts. No. I thought you meant Justin Bieber. This is really falling flat for me. No. It wasn't exciting until this moment so he was in shape so he

was willing to put on like a pretty skimpy shirt so he put on like a little girl shirt that was very dainty and his belly button was exposed and he's tall I put on a regular size shirt with Justin Bieber on it and the channel 4 or 7 or something was there filming and the news lady

was on like the curb facing the man theater whatever it is or so we were walking behind her but looking very walking very goofy but it looked Like, I was a pimp, and he was like my prostitute. You know what I'm saying? Like, but it was pretty funny, and it was on the news.

But, yeah, I was on TV. That was it, boom. Well, Rylund, I don't think we've talked about this on the podcast yet. And the other night we were watching random things. And I don't even know how we got here. But you are a very featured extra. What? In Project X.

Dude. Smash movie. Do you guys even know what that movie is? Yes. I thought it was a talent show. Really? I do. I can't believe you haven't recognized me.

What do I look up? What do I look up? No, we're not wanting it. It is so cringy. It's good. Are you partying? What are you doing in it? Talk to us about it.

It was a big deal. Beer Pong. It sounds like it. But I know I've seen the movie. Because it's a party, because the whole movie is centered around one party. Oh my God. I found it. You're in the thumbnail.

Oh, my. I'm in the thumbnail. Wow. Is that you? Okay. Listen up. It's called Project. If you guys want to watch a home.

It's Project X. 40-year-old party animal gets busted on TV. Can I not give a little context? Okay. So because it was, the movie is over the span of one night and it's one party, they were hiring extras to work for the whole duration of the movie. So everyone that got these jobs were like out of work actors

that have never done, well, done much. And so I was like, this is, Wow. Very humbling for all these people. These are your co-stars.

I'm one of them. These are your associates. I'm one of them. And I actually still, like know some of the actors that I was working with and it did suck because like the stars of the movie like knew they were the stars and they're just like we did walk on set after we'd all been sitting there flicking our fingers for hours but anyway yeah I'm a star okay um good back story um okay so here is the clip to see if you can spot him it's so overactive and fake

oh no It's so pretty! It's so bad. Do you have any lines? No. Oh my God. And that's the thing. Whoa, don't you get for a long time.

I know I'm famous, Chris. No, he's a star in the movie. And because it was a lot of the same extras a lot of the time, they would pull like random ones and be like, okay, you're going to get this line. And then they'd get money and featured. Yes, hell yeah. Was that the drama between everyone trying to get a line?

Yes. We're all trying to like get in the front of the shot so that we're featured in the shot so we could get a line in the movie. I say, oh, based on that, you should be in every scene, man. You look like the realest one. Thank you. I got scammed when I, so I directed a movie 10 years ago, and I didn't know

anything about that, like the unions or this, I didn't know anything, right? So I had some extras and it was like an airport scene, and I was like, you know, placing all the extras. Like, okay, pretend that you're milking, you know, milk. What was the scene? I can't wait to hear

the next like three to four words. and like you're milking pretend like you're like giving your baby milk or like you pretend like you're looking in your purse whatever and I was like and I told this girl I was like oh I want something kind of funny happening I'm like can you like trip or you know

pretend to trip because it was like chaotic and then and the girl was like such a good manipulator she's like sure do you want me to like say anything when I trip or you know I was like I don't know yeah sure just like oh no or whatever and she's like okay yeah got it so then you know we shoot one

and she's just like in the background And she was just like, oops, or like, oh, no. And I was like, okay, cut, we got it. And then the producer grabbed me and was like, what the fuck did you just do? You just changed it from, you know, she was going to make, you know, this much an app and this much a day. And now we have to pay her scale because she had a line. It's like four times the amount. That's going to be $1,000.

And she did a stunt. And she did a stunt. And she could see she could have broken her kneecap. It's like, yeah. Oh, wait. It says fall down the stairs. You know what the same thing? Yeah.

Just, oh shit, put on stairs. Oh, yeah. Yes, and I was like, oh. And they were like, you got scanned. They were like, and we were filming in Pittsburgh, and I guess they film a lot of movies there. So, like, these extras are smart. They knew that I was, like, inexperienced.

That's a cheap trick. That is a cheap trick. No, no, she's in the Hall of Fame for cheap tricks. Shout out to you. Kudos do you on that. She went from, yeah, like 50 bucks to like a thousand bucks. Yeah, you work in a union. You got to know how to get your shit right.

Honestly, I respect it. I'm in SAG AfterA, no big so I've always wanted to be in the union You're in SAG from a 10 year old Extra movie? No, I got my SAG after card from working with Justin Bieber Oh, we've talked about that

I know, but that's what I'm saying I got my SAG after card like that I don't know. If we talked about it, I might have been Superpowering I'm just kidding, I don't remember it but I don't remember like Wait, you're gonna die

Okay, you're gonna die, hold on, hold on So, Ryland was... Ryland was... Oh my God, Jared so shook, he's sneezing. Salute because I'm allergic to ice cream. That's why it's on cell! Oh, no! Sorry, Farrell.

I have your shoes, too. I have your Adidas collab. I've been wearing them for five years. Okay, so... Ryland was Justin Bieber's body double. Were you really? I got to practice all of these scenes, and all of the main actors would be.

like you did so much better than him no way because i had to do the rehearsal for like the camera can you send me pictures of you and justin so i can put him on oh yes no um yes so like in music videos and this he was his stand-in his stunt double so this in csi the famous clip where justin people get shot a million times he also went to the well no the actual one was a stunt double but i was i did the tech rehearsal wait you're not this isn't you no You're such a fucking frog. I've never told me this was you. No, I did not.

This isn't you? This isn't Justin either. Okay, if you search Justin Bieber get shot on CSI, you can watch with us. Such an amazing clip. I'll get up, but only the stokes. Wait, that's not you? No. He's worried, he's got a bomb.

He's got a bomb! Don't shoot! Don't shoot! No! I literally thought that was you the... No, I was this... No, I told people that. That's a stunt.

If that was you, I'd be start-trick right now. I watched that clip millions of times over like... That's why I brought it up. I thought that was you. I was 10 feet away, and I was there for the tech rehearsal. No, it cares. Well, that wasn't Justin's either. I was 10 feet away.

I never told you I was Justin Bieber. Yes, you did. Go back. I was his body double. You have a, oh my God, wait, finally, hold on. Finally work. Oh, here we go again. Life with Shane and Ryland.

Fight with Shane and Ryland. Shane and Ryland. You fucking told me. You literally were like, and if you look back, there was a vlog from like a few years ago where you mention it and it cuts to a clip of it. And it's like, that's you.

It's literally like a stunt double that can get shot on a set. Okay. Well, anyways, I'm bored of your Justin Bieber story because it's a fraud. but I am proud of you I am proud of you

I was always thanking God when they called because it was so much money to do nothing flex I was broke I was waiting tables and it was like

it was like four weeks of waiting tables to do nothing yeah great Chris speaking it well the opposite because you got paid shit for this yes for everything

but you were on a reality show and I've never seen a clip is there a clip out there I can find yeah it was I mean I think they changed the name. It was a million dollar matchmaker, but I think it changed slightly because it like was dropped from Bravo and went to Wii TV and was slightly a different name, but it's that same show. Yeah, Millionaire Matchmaker. Yeah, that one. I think it was changed to a million dollar matchmaker. Maybe that's what it is. But anyways. Very Disney of them. Yeah. And yeah, I got to be Patty Stanger's assistant on the show.

Okay, I have so many questions because I love this show. This is so specific. A lot of you guys might not know what I'm talking about. That's crazy. I feel like that was the hit of a show. century yeah millionaire matchmaker was so fucking good it was about this woman patty and she would get these millionaires in who like these guys who are lonely hey she's still dipping and doing it okay yeah she is she is and um she would have in these girls audition them and pick one and then they put them on a date with a millionaire whatever but the show was also about her life and her business and whatever and i can't believe you were her fake assistant right because you weren't wait are you allowed to say that i think so i mean i think the show's over okay well you were like playing her

assistant. So what does that mean? When you're on a reality show and you're playing an assistant, I don't understand. Did you guys have to like 20 minutes before like try to have a rapport together and try to act like you coexist all day, every day together? No. We did not talk when we were filming. Did you have lines? Uh, not really. I mean, we would like talk to each other, but I didn't have like a line I remember. So what was the description? Like what was the job description? Was it like just act like an assistant? I mean, yeah, it was just like some LA casting. where it's like you're playing the part of an assistant or something like that and uh and then yeah i ended up on the thing and i have this if you want to see you've had a clip well it's it's my thing

on my instagram okay airplay it but yeah i mean it was like it was i think a couple months or something and the pay was not good but are you in the opening credits like uh chris i am in the opening of uh the yeah of the season i was on i don't know really yeah wait i'm okay i just clicked on a random episode so chris will you see if maxwell has been ready yeah absolutely Okay, dude, you really... Shut up! Oh, my God! You underplayed quite a bit.

No way. No, it's like... Did you have your own wardrobe or did they dress you? I had the same outfit I wore like every day for a long time. I hope they watched it. You look so good in that outfit. Bro, you're in it. You're on the fucking show. That is crazy.

It was fun. Oh, my God. Wow, dude. Hold on. How do I open her door? But so many, because it was the first thing I'd done on TV. And I was really new So you keep saying

You said first thing What's the other stuff You've done on TV Little things Like I was in a I was in a show God it was called Laugh mob laugh tracks

Wait sorry I was I was copying past In something You said you are on laugh moms It was called laugh mob Lafrax And it's where a comedian Would tell stories

And then they'd like Film a visual to the story And I played the comedian's son And one thing I've done a few things A few little things Here and there That was so like

I've done a few things But like so many big things But like so many big things Name them, though. Just name them off. Ramble the Mockro Quay. Were you ever on like a thousand ways to die? I auditioned so many times and never got.

There was a sci-fi commercial I was in where it was just me in my room like pretending I'm playing with a we couldn't call it a lightsaber. It was a laser sword. And like it was literally just me being like, and it was like just me being an idiot in a room and that was like a commercial I ran out sci-fi for a long time just like me being an idiot and got $400 for that. You're fucking famous. They give you no royalty.

No, and I learned later on Everyone's like, you were the They're like, wait, you were the only one in that commercial And it aired for years In like different states Like you should have got so much money from that And I was like, I should have? I didn't know

If it's not union, yeah You got to do the union commercials Yeah, so I didn't get paid But it was cool, I had family in like other countries Being like, oh my God, I saw you on sci-fi You know? And I was like, really? I don't know, little things

I was like, for a blanket, you'll miss it in a movie called Hotel Artemis So are you not going to be an actor anymore? I mean, I love it. I love acting. And I would act in like, if anyone is filming a student film, I would act in that any day. Like, I love doing it for fun. Really still?

Yeah. I just like love the process of acting. You're busy. Like, listen, if somebody DMs you right now, it's like, hey, come be in my student film. You're going to say, yeah? Here's the thing. Here's the thing. Very real.

Very real. I like that. What would you really do, dude? The real answer is, if I have. enough money to where I could afford to do that? Yes. Like if I made enough money to where I could take a week off. Your dream

is to make enough money so that you can be an actor in people's student films for free. No, I mean the dream would be to be in like, I don't know. Avatar, shoot for the stars. Like a Quentin Sertino movie or something, you know. Wait, you being an actor is fun. You really

should do it. You should like start out doing stuff. I've never got that kind of support from Shane. Do you have an agent? No. Yeah, I do. I've always only auditioned myself. But I just like, I just like it. I like it because it's like, this is really, like, it's a set. I said this in therapy and my therapist is like, don't say that.

But it's true. But he was like, why do you enjoy it so much? And I was like, well, for a little while I get to not be myself, which is really nice. Whoa. I think that's what most actors think. So it's like. So can you cry on cue? I don't think so.

I'm not, I'm not an incredible actor. I just enjoy it. Should we try to make each other cry right now? Oh. Is that real? Oh, no. Well, isn't that like a thing? Like actors go on talk shows and they're like,

look how fast I can start crying. Yes, the, the, oh, from Jurassic World. It's got to pluck it in the South Howard. Yeah, she went on a show and she was like, they were like counting down and she was crying by the end of the countdown. I was like, oh my God. Yeah, I can't. I wish I could do that.

But I also can't cry in real life either. I just have a problem crying. Should think of, should think about that. Jared, now that I'm thinking about it So Chris wanted to be an actor Now he's here But you're gonna get back to it Rylan wanted to be an actor

I'm going to be an actor Okay He's gonna be an avatar I want that confidence I wanted to make movies I made one Hopefully I'll make another one maybe I love your movie

Thank you I really do Wow thank you It was so funny I love you Jared What did you want to do Or what's something that you still want to do

Or something you want to jump back into Obviously the rap career Yeah. You know, recently, actually, I met up with a buddy of mine that I've known for, you know, 20 plus years. And we made a song that has almost another kind of genre in it, which I've never done before because it's not like, it's outside of my comfort level, you know. So music in general is something I would like to pursue at some point. And I don't want to perform it, though, because I don't think I'll ever be successful as a musician. Why? That just because I'm a realist. Like the kind of grind it would take. for me to make me viable to any kind of marketing or anything beyond grassroots is very difficult

unless fat redhead dudes become the next big fucking wave you know what I mean like it's just because it's mainstream the money to be made in music is very like grinding and harsh I would rather be on the end of just creating really awesome music that allow artists to go tour off of or whatever so

I just like being around creative people though that's why I enjoy this you know expanding companies or making my own companies so kind of what I like to do so I guess I've always kind of done what I liked you know what I mean so what you're saying is maybe this year we should try to do

a musical that involves acting I can't sing I know my boundaries the guy I did this song with and I'm working on I told them I feel like we should do a musical no

yes I could direct think about like if you could make a Hamilton or something oh I would love that like think about if you can make something that got that kind of like notoriety or whatever you have so much money you could be in student films dude you could possibly finance a student film yes write it direct it star in it get a makeup artist to make you every role of the fucking movie the teachers are like what is he doing here but i'm just saying like there's these generational musicals that blow up and it's like i do think

right now it's right for the taking for someone to come in and scoop with an amazing musical that appeals to a lot more people than just like, you know, whatever's out there that I don't even know about because they don't appeal to everybody, so I don't know about it yet, you know? Interesting. I have some ideas. What about your TV appearances? Oh, yeah.

And movie. Dude, I remember the commercial. Smiley. McDonald's. Dude, that was super popping. You were dipping a nugget? Taco Bell. Taco Bell.

Oh, my gosh. You were really famous. And Smiley. And I thought I was famous. Oh, the. You were like the star of a horror movie, baby. Internet famous. Oh, my God.

internet famous wow these are other things you're so talented yeah shane's actually like this shit's so modern dang i auditioned for thousands of things and didn't get any of it i only started getting things when i was a YouTuber before i was a YouTuber well i did get the McDonald's commercial but before I was a YouTuber I really got nothing wow I auditioned for so many Disney channel things me too yeah now we're here dude you should just write a whole movie about yourself myself I don't know And then, like, some movie about, like, someone crying for... Earlier, something came to my mind, you know, I didn't bring it up

because it's almost, like, too weird to even say. What? I don't know what I said. You had a dream about Chris. Because, like, you know, it's like, okay, I'm not... I've never been in this scenario, but do gay guys be like, hey, are you top or a bottom? Yeah, yeah. So, like, let's say I'm you.

Okay. Ask me. Oh, God. Okay. Right? Okay. You can't spell Christopher without top. But that can be your line, dude, and your cheesy, corny movie.

What if he's the bottom? Then you say, just kidding. Oh. But it'll make him laugh or be like, that was stupid. Like, I know. That's amazing. I've never heard anyone. I don't even know I thought of it, but I was thinking, like, Chris tougher is like, oh, like, it has, like, three words in it, you know?

She worked that in the musical. Wait, okay, before we take another quick break, I can't believe I forgot about this. Chris, give me that Peruvian fact. Oh. We needed, dude. Please. Okay, so I feel like I'm cheating because a lot of people sent this one to me. And to be honest, I didn't know about it before people sent it to me. But I did research. And in a specific part of town, in a specific province near Kusko in Peru, there's a town where there's a thing called Takanakui. And Takanakui is an annual established practice of fist fighting

fellow community members on the 25th of December, on Christmas Day. So what happens is in this town, they don't, like, throughout the year, if someone's mad, they're like, I'm going to let it go. I'm going to save that for talking. Like a purge? Kind of. And they all let it go, and they're all cordial.

But then once a year on Christmas Day, they all get together and they have a big festival, they wear mass, and there's, like, music, and like, kind of a parade, and everyone in town gets excited and dances. And then they, like, go, and they're like, whoever they just like beat the crap out of each other like they like fight each other and let it out on this day so you're good for the rest of the are there rules yeah there are there are ground rules like no kicking someone if there's down and things like that and uh yeah there are certain certain rules

so you don't beat up the person at the moment of them pissing you off you're just hoping maybe you get a shot in on them at the thing because you're all wearing a mask yeah you just you save you save it for that and i don't know if you can like fight one-on-one if you can pick some i'm not sure exactly how that works necessarily but yeah i mean people fight each other and that's the thing i told my mom about this and she's like um i've never done that i don't know anyone that's done that and we had to look it up and it's because it's in a very specific part of peru it's not travel every year not where my mom's at one club i don't want to be offensive but can you say it again uh takanakui wasn't that the whale in avatar wasn't it i don't remember it was like that it was like that it was like that it was like

we go to the takunni and then the whale was like talking did you guys see avatar it was the first or the second one the second one oh no they're like the whale do you know what you're talking about i do you know what you're talking can you google it really fast so i don't get canceled well they talk but it's like but they're subtitles so it's like the whale will be like oh and the subtitles like hey how you doing jim they do they're called the tulkin is what they are and i don't know if he had a specific name, but the whales were called the token. Okay, I'm wrong. But it was close.

It was close. Okay, don't punch me. Anyways, wow, interesting facts, Chris. Really scary. I'm just confused on if you can take it out on the person you're actually mad at. That I don't know. I'll follow up. Of course.

No, they come to the festival in mass. You know. I know. But not everyone's masked. I mean, you can tell. I would just roll up in the other name. Like, yo. You're like, get out here.

What is there, 5,000 people? There can't be that many people doing it if it's a very small area. Well, um, yeah, shout out to the Tuchin and. Shane. It also sounded like Costco, the town. What was it? That's way worse. I'm just saying.

That's funny. Costco is also a place where I want to fistfight. I was thinking coos-coose that he said for some reason. We got it. Okay, let's take a break. Okay, our final sponsor today is Ridge Wallet. I cannot tell you how much I love this. I've already told you a million times,

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But the RFID blocking technology has saved me because I've been in an airport recently. I've been out Christmas shopping a lot. And now I'm not nervous at all. When people pass me or bump into me, you know, there's that fear of like, did they just get my information? Because it's happened before. But with the Ridge wallet, I'm not afraid at all. It's great.

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off of your order if you go to Ridge.com slash grower and use code grower at checkout. That's ridge.com slash grower using code grower for 10% off. Thank you so much, Ridge, for sponsoring this podcast all of last year and now this year and also for sponsoring the jeffrey series that was so incredible i love you guys and please go support them because they're an amazing company and they make a product that i love and i use every day i don't know what that voice was anyways thank you ridge hopefully you guys enjoy the rest of the show and i'll see you next time bye here comes the easter bunny what's happening oh nice what the hell what's happening yeah you're kidding Shane What is happening?

Okay. Okay. A whole milk? Okay. Okay. Oh, none for me. Degger. Yeah, wait, brother, does he get any?

Don't worry, Raylan. I haven't forgotten about you. Okay, here's a Pepsi catch it. You're kidding me. I didn't think it's through. I trust my catch. I don't trust your throat. That's a marriage.

All right, you guys are partners here. Okay, we're partners. Ready? Shane. That's what I mean. You got to throw it over. What? You got to throw, this landed here.

Okay, sorry. Over. You fucking idiot. He's being very honest right now and how he feels. You know, he's trying to give you some teamwork advice. There it is. There are you going. And three throws you got.

There's straws at the same time? Oh, my hell. You did it. You did it. You guys are exhibiting what it takes. Okay. Hey, guys, welcome back to Conspiracy Corner. Now, we have some really dark.

creepy, cool conspiracies, but first I want to do some snack ones. Jared, you actually sent me one of these. Yes. So this is, and I have all of our little materials here. Jared's fault. Wait, which one should we start with? The oranges. Which one do what tastes better? The oranges.

Then let's do the other one first. Okay, this is not a conspiracy. It kind of is. So I don't know if you guys remember this, but during the Christmas time, there was a viral moment where Lindsay Lohan was the face of Pepsi, and And she, I love that you're doing that.

What? Because like, putting your hair in the cup? I can't do it. I used to do that when I was literally. Anyways, Lindsay Lowhan. So she was the face of Pepsi for a second. And she was promoting Pilk, which is Pepsi with milk. And it was like, give Santa milk, pilk and cookies.

Well, when you told me that Lindsay Lohan was promoted, I knew it was legit. Oh yeah. And then there's some so nobody knew if it was a joke or not. She's having her because it was like a real commercial. It was like her, it was legit. They spent money on it and she's pouring milk into Pepsi and she's drinking it. That is one dirty soda Santa. And then behind the scenes

clip came out and Lindsay was like this is actually good. It's actually pretty good. And now it's like, okay, we're trying this shit. I don't know what the conspiracy is but I want to know. Is Pilk good? So everybody pour some Pepsi. Is there a ratio you're supposed to put? I think it's like 75%

Pepsi, 25% milk. Oh, okay. And I got the straws for Mixin. Ooh. So let's see if Lindsay Lohan's pilk is legit. Yo, I'm on that pilk, motherfucker. There's no way Lindsay Lohan is drinking. What you're drinking? I'm drinking.

I don't know if I've ever had whole milk. I just had a sip of it, and I'm like, whoa. You had a sip of it? Yeah, I just wanted to taste it. You know what's so good, sorry, this is a side note. I love milk. Anybody that clicked on this video thinking they were getting like, Conspiracy?

Is Lindsay a lying sack of shit? Hey! Or is Pilk Delicious? Does this look like a good ratio or is this too much? Yuck! We're all going to have to deal with them at some point. We're all going to have to run to the toilet. It looks too good and that makes it grosser.

Here we go. It looks like a Starbucks drink or something. It kind of looks good. I think I'm allergic to it. Okay, everybody, let's take a sip. No, just a second. I got to stir it. I'm scared.

I just got to pretend I don't know. what's going on, go in with an open heart. Yeah, I'm not weird out of it for some reason. Okay. You're all good together. You're disgusting, Chris. You're disgusting. I'm already dry, he's in a little bit.

Did I just drink it without the straw? Do I need the shot? Yeah, dude, please don't get it in your mustache. If you plug your nose, maybe you won't. I got a pilk mustache. All right, three, two. God, Pilk. Oh, dude.

I don't think it's that bad. It's kind of good. It's not that bad. Wait. Dude, am I, like, super in a Pilk right now? It's kind of good. I don't have a pillant problem. I don't think it's bad.

You know, it's exactly what I thought, which is like a weird version of a fucking, like, Rupier float. Yeah. It's kind of good. Wait, Lindsay. Okay, Lindsay, I don't know why I doubted you. I think I need a little more Pepsi. I don't know why.

Never doubt, Lindsay. Yeah, well, what the hell? I guess kind of rupeer floaty, but yeah. I kind of love it. Oh, my God. I love Pilk. I can not be with you Pilkheads. It's really not bad.

I'm about to finish my pilk. I think you're almost done with your pill. Well, I thought it was going to make one throw up so I feel it up to about your eye. Yeah, you were the biggest pilk hater. Wow, conspiracy. Not for me. Okay, this one is more in the conspiracy lane. So supposedly, if you mix orange juice and Hershey's strawberry syrup, it tastes just like Skittles.

This is something I can get behind. I don't understand how that makes sense. Well, it's two fruit concoction flavor. The orange juice is a good palette cleanser from the pill. Oh, yeah, orange juice is, I don't like it very often, but when I drink it, I like it. Oh, okay, I think that's the ratio. Ooh, like blood orange. Oh, dude, I'm going.

Do you put all the orange juice a lot? Oh, you put it in the bottle. That's smart. Shaky, shaky. That's so much prettier. Chris. We're a bunch of idiots. It's kind of, you got weight too.

I followed your cue, Shane. Yep, that does not have the concern. What is that? Wait, Chris, throw the syrup directly. Okay, I think you got to add a lot I think you gotta add a lot. This is more scit, lob it, underhand. You got it.

Wow. Okay. It's delicious. Whoa, you guys are drinking it? I'm sorry, I needed pilk out of my mouth. To be honest with you. Yuck. Okay, everybody mix.

All right. I'm ready. Three, two, one. Ew. That is not Skittles. That's orange. That's not Skittles. Maybe it needs some Pilkin.

Wait a minute. No, I taste the Skittles. You guys are idiots. Did I not do enough? Can I get some more? Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. You guys are just big dummies. Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. The aftertaste is fucking Skittles. The aftertaste is Skittles. I got to wait for a burp. Oh, dude, the burp is super skittled. Whoa. Chris just went in. Yeah, a big old load.

Chris said I can't. A big old load. Big old load of fucking strawberry whip. Sorry, yeah. If you guys are playing at home, give yourself a big old load. I mean, it does taste like Skittles, but what would be even better, though, is just have a glass of orange juice and eat some Skittles. I kind of taste Skittles, but to me it tastes like a watered down, I don't know, old. It tastes like if you ate a whole huge family-sized bag of Skittles and threw up.

Ooh, very good. Because the orange juice is like thorough up. Jared's doing syrup with a stick. Wow, well, that was fun. Okay, so now let's move on to the actual conspiracies This first one isn't really a conspiracy It's just more proof that Disney has done some crazy fucking shit Have you guys heard about the Mickey Mouse cheese situation?

No I don't even know how to explain this I'm just going to show it too Yeah, it's very graphic If you have kids, move them out of your house Move them? I don't know Get them away from you right now

Whoa Okay watch this clip and just just tell us if you know notice anything. So it's Mickey Mouse making Swiss cheese. How are the ones getting made, you know? Oh! Do you see it? No. Oh my gosh.

No. Shame. I was looking at his mouth and then I, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. No way. I don't know. That's not real. I have no idea that is real. That's edited. That's something. That's crazy. What? Isn't that the craziest thing

you've ever seen? Also, who fucks cheese? Yes, that's the problem. It just doesn't make sense. Well, a mouse would fuck cheese. Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, because like mouse is in cheese, mice and cheese, it kind of makes sense.

But it's too far. It's too far. Yeah, but the mouth does look weird. The mouth does kind of like a bottle. It's because he's enjoying. It's his orgasm face. But like, is that what they meant for this? this to me? Is this just drawn weirdly?

Is this edited? No, he takes the cheese, which is blank. And he puts it, he fucks it. And then the cheese has holes in it. No way. I mean, you can clearly see his penis. I know, I just. Wait, I did see.

There was one really good comment on that video. It said, at least it's not cream cheese. Am I stupid? Like cream cheese, like at least he's not coming in it. Anyways. So that's crazy. I have no conspiracy other than yuck. I don't know. Actually, Chris, can you Google? Just Google. I should have done this before the show. But can you just Google? Is Mickey Mouse fucking the Swiss cheese real? I feel like it has to be. It looks pretty fucking real. Unless somebody who's like an incredible animator took their time to make that. I mean, do we actually want to know? Is it going to ruin? Humor though changes. You know, videos from 10 years ago, not funny anymore. Fucking a cheese from a hundred years ago. Maybe it was funny back then.

Yeah, maybe it's a joke, like, oh, you know, it gets Swiss cheese gets its holes, right? Because the mice, fuck it. Maybe it was a thing people said, and it was funny. It was like, I thought my spiked air looked cool. Yeah, you know what? I stand with that. Times change. Times change.

Did you Google it or now? I did, but we don't have to ruin it. Oh, it's fake. We're not to ruin it. We're not going to ruin it. It's not going to ruin my life. Google says it's fake. Really?

What is it? Because Google is owned by Disney. Google says that a viral video of, Mickey Mouse using an obscene method to make cheese is edited, and they pulled animation from different episodes. Honestly, it's good to debunk it, though, because that clip had like 50 million views. Like, people really believe this. We believe it. I was just like, there's no way.

I don't think that Doug Campbell, eight years ago, a 26,000 views fake this. How do you think Disney hasn't gotten that taken down? There's a lot of boners throughout Disney movies. That is true. Little Mermaid. That's enough for me. Okay. Now, this is more going along with the whole Barbie thing that we talked about in the last episode.

Audio illusions. Now, I've talked about this in videos before, so if you've seen my conspiracy videos, you might have already seen this. But I've never experienced it with you guys. So there are different audio illusions. So I am going to play you some, and you close your eyes and tell me what you hear. Okay, ready? Nap time. What do you hear brainstorm is what I heard nothing okay now yes so some of you heard brainstorm okay yes so some of you heard brainstorm okay yes now listen again but this time think green needle

Oh. Oh, ew. Did you hear it? Yeah. One more time. I heard it clear as day. And now you can go back and forth in your brain and think before you hear it. I still can't hear brainstorm.

The first time I heard brainstorm. And then you played it again, and I clearly heard green needle. Yes. I heard brainstorm this time. Welcome to the club I can hear both like clear Whoa You can just keep going back and forth

It's the same audio clip over and over again But your brain can switch it back and forth Whenever you want How does that happen? I have no idea But it's an audio illusion or something I still think that Ken said fuck Right

Right right right Wait but Do you hear him? Yeah I hear them Do you really? Yeah I'm just wondering if Jared's okay Oh dude I just doesn't have milk

Oh my God Did you did it? And I had strawberry syrup next to me. I thought I love strawberry milk. Genius. Let's finish out that bottle, baby. Did you make strawberry milk? I'm down to fifth.

Did you make it already? Oh, yeah. You want some? I'm okay. Okay. This one I played and I could not hear both. But I looked at the comments on the video and everybody's like, oh my God, I hear both. I hear both.

And I feel stupid. So I'm going to play you something and tell me what you hear. Okay. Did you hear that? Yeah. Tune Chee. I hear cheesy. That's what I hear.

What do you hear? These are so fucking confusing. They're like drowning you out with music, and then it's like, dung, ching. You didn't hear it? You didn't hear cheesy. Is it string cheese? Did you hear it? I heard tune chi.

Who's making these? Well, wait. Well, I heard cheesy, right? I heard cheesy. But some people said, oh, my God, I can hear cheesy and I can hear powerful. Power. And I'm like, there's no way. So that's why I played it because I thought maybe one of you guys would be like, powerful.

And I'd be like, oh. What are these titled? Cheezer or Powerful. There's, yeah. Like. Not even a little bit. I couldn't get any of the areas of powerful. It doesn't even sound like cheesy to me.

It's like, jing, zing. That was a good Miranda Singh's impressive. Okay, okay, everyone closed their eyes. Ryland, do that again? Cheezing, zing. Oh, my God. Green cheese. Okay.

Now, this is kind of an audio illusion, but this one actually freaked me out. Maybe it was because it was like four in the morning and it, like, drip me out. But there is jiffs that are muted. Like, there's no sound, but you can feel and hear them in your head. Ooh. Okay, let me show you.

So watch this GIF. Really just watch it. And tell me what you feel or hear. At least a boom. Yeah, you can hear the boom. You can feel it, right, in your ears? Yeah, I just feel it. It's like a, boom.

I can feel it. Yeah. Like, it gives me shivers. Like, it makes my head hurt. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. And there was another one. Oh, yeah.

No, that, this one's even worse. me. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, it's like giving me. It like hurts my head. Oh. Oh, I hate it. You gotta turn it off.

It's like, it's the weirdest sensation to like feel it instead of hearing it. Okay, sorry, this isn't a conspiracy really. None of these have been really. What am I gonna call this? A conspiracy. Kind of. Milk is good. Um, no, but, okay.

So did you guys see Megan yet, the robot movie, but a little girl? about a little girl. No, but I want to. With, like, the bitch face. No. Oh, it's like a toy. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I saw a preview. Yeah. Okay. So you saw the preview. So in the preview, you know, there's that part where she's like, you know, learning how to do TikTok dances with the little girl. And then later in the trailer, she, like, does a TikTok dance and then kill somebody.

Wow. Anyways, that happens in the trailer. That's, like, the biggest moment from the trailer. And everybody was talking about it. So we saw the movie the other night. It was really good. But I was confused. because, and maybe I was looking down at the floor or something, but I don't remember them showing

her learning the dances. No, and then he asked me and I was like, wait, no. I never saw that either, but then I did see a clip online where the girl and the girl were dancing in the test pod. But that, from what I remember was not in the movie, but in the movie randomly out of nowhere, she starts dancing and then kill someone. So then it got confused. So I googled it after. And the director of the movie, they were like, so what was the dance? Well, is that and he's like oh i just thought it was funny like we were filming and i was like oh what if she danced and then like she did it and then like we kept it and i was like it was just so then that sent me down a whole other wormhole of like things that were in trailers that weren't in the

movie then i looked into it even more and there's a new um law going on where you can now sue movie companies for false advertising and trailers and people are doing it now which then i got scared because I'm like, are people going to sue me for my thumbnails? Because now I can put Megan in the thumbnail of this video. And they're going to click on it. They're going to be like, I was expecting to make a conspiracy. It kind of is a Megan conspiracy. Honestly, it is, though.

I have a Titanic one. What? Stop it. Okay. So the Titanic was their motive behind it. Right. So evidently, in the 1910s or early 1900s, there was one man that owned like,

80% of the mortgages in the United States. Okay. And there was one bank doing business with him and there was a rival bank that didn't like this because this dude was holding up the bank's capabilities because he owned so much equity in the mortgages. So the people that built the Titanic were

commissioned by the competitor bank and on the day of like everyone getting on the Titanic, all the elites were on there. All the bankers, all the higher ups. Oh my. The guy that owned the 80% of the mortgages, the bank that was banking with them as well as all these other elites they all got on the boat

as well as the competitor that had a commission to be built and right before the boat took off the Titanic all of the people that orchestrated it got the fuck off no and that's how you do business you kill everybody you know cheap or expensive trick

tragedy but it's about the ROI so like what did they gain from this probably trillion two knows but I'm just joking it's not never cool to kill like 3,000 people, but like Just in case, just in case you were clear. Obviously, guys, in case it's not very obvious. But, yeah, so evidently the Titanic was really just a way to eliminate a bunch of competition.

And these were the only things holding up this family from running all of the banking in the United States. Okay. I had heard about the other, because a lot of people were asking, winning into the Titanic theory, but I've done it before a few times in videos. And it, but it's different. It was like the Titanic is actually, I think, with the Olympic or something. it's like actually a different boat and it wasn't actually the Titanic that sank and it was like an insurance fraud thing yours is completely different though i've never heard that i've heard that

too and i've heard that there was a book that was written like a hundred years previously that uh kind of like predicted exactly to the tea what happened on the titanic so my thought is these banker guys or whoever orchestrated it thought oh i read this book did all you do is you build a boat and like you just put everyone on it and you sink it and they're like beautiful oh my god On today's camera action Ryland's recap is about to happen Ryland's recap On today's episode of the Shane Dawson podcast

The boys get addicted to Pilk Oh, people in Peru just beat each other up on Christmas Hold on. We literally got married And you're starting with Pilk And Peruvian fights Major breaking news alert

Shane Dawson and Ryland Adams are married. Oh, in big gossip alert, who's going to take whose name? Even though Shane's last name is fake. Ryland's keeping his own name, and so is Shane. Just saying, I'm not becoming Ryan Yaw, and you're not becoming Shane Adams. Oh, wait a minute. Oh, you like that? It kind of sounds good, but no, no, no, I won't.

And I won't, I won't, I won't either. You won't even, like, hyphenate or something? Did you and Sandy, yes. She's Sandra, y'all. I would compromise. But then how do we figure that out legally? It just seems like a lot of words. Yeah, I'm bored.

I'm zoning out. Ooh, zoning out. Learning how to zone out. Cheapers. Cheap trick, instead of wasting all of your energy, just zone out when somebody's annoying you. Your spouse, your co-worker, your boss. So now.

Imagine how peaceful the world would be. Yes. You'd see more people zoned out. Yes. Oh, oh, if you're a next. extra in a movie, get a line. Oh, yeah, trip. If you happen to be in Hollywood

and are an extra in a movie, make sure to trip and scream a line. You'll quadruple your money. Okay. Oh, Mickey Mouse, fuck cheese. Maybe. In scandal, alert, Mickey Mouse is fucking cheese.

You thought you knew where your holes were coming from. Whoa. Where do holes in cheese come from? Oh, orange juice and straw. Oh, yes. Skittal burps. Oh, it affected Chris's Gerd.

Yeah. Chris's Gerd. With a GERD update. Christopher Burt is coming to you live. How do you say your last name? Should I change my last name? How do you say it? Breitinger.

Oh, Breitinger. Is here live? With my Gerd? Update. Oh, it's painful and it hurts and all of this made it worse. Describe the pain. I feel like I'm vomiting like... Fire?

Lava. It's like... coming up a little bit and it hurts and it causes me to cough and sound funny. Yeah. Okay. In happier news, is there any?

Anything is happier than that. Oh, Mexicans making fun of white people I don't know. In racial news. The news reporter doesn't want to lose his job, but Chris makes fun of behind closed doors. White people. You can say white people.

I think you're allowed. Oh. Yeah, come on. Take advantage. You can talk about white people. Reporters are getting fired left and right for anything. You breathe and they're fired. Oh, Chris was on a reality show. Dude, Chris is like a movie.

Chris is a literal star. In famous co-host news, the boys have all appeared on TV. Chris being the famous assistant to Patty Stenger and Millionaire Matchmaker. Million Dollar Matchmaker. On we. Cancelled Millionaire Matchmaker. repicked up by Wii TV million dollar matchmaker

Jared was a background actor in the news That's I'm saying you're in the custodial arts Ryland That's like trying to explain your like bad record Like I was a background actor

On the news a few times I don't know bro You watch the 5 o'clock news The one time No repeats Ryland reached fame With Justin Bieber where he got his sack card

He reached. Hey. Fucking that was a reach. He lied. But you were in Project X. It was a star of Project X. And I still get comments. Daily with people discovering my appearance in Project X.

Really? Yes. No way. Yes. Yes. And Shane's actually famous. He was in Taco Bell. McDonald's.

He's been the star of an actual, not one, but two, probably three movies. Probably. Probably. Thanks. Maybe movies. I don't know. Okay, wait. We have new merch.

New emo merch. Because the emo episode was such a hit, the Shane Dawson podcast has just released new emo merch. It is adorable. Shanedossandmerch.com, everything is beautiful, delectable, and at a good price. All right, you guys, and that's it for today's episode of the Shane Dawson podcast, the first of the year.

Happy New Year. Happy New Year. New Year. Make sure you're following everyone on social media and we love you very much. Listen on all audio platforms. Like, subscribe and make sure you listen because if you keep listening, there's a chance in this world that this show might go weekly. Right. Yes. We need you guys to watch. Because yes. It would be nice to get enough advertisers to make it make sense to go weekly. I really want to do it. But I think we're going to go weekly soon. We just have to get in a good flow.

we're going to start filming every week. Yes. If I can stop working for all of my other clients. Wow. And just do this. That'd be great. There's two I'd still work for. Okay.

Wow. Whoa. In other news. He's like, I said two. You're whatever. No, they're really. Yikes. And just a reminder, if you want Chris for one of your student films,

send him a DM. I would. And hit them up. No audition, though. You're not auditioning. That's a direct booking. I'm available for direct bookings, too. Really?

Can we act at something together? Sure. I would cry. I would love that so much. I would love that. Maybe you could shoot him. I have practice. One more time.

That was great. Okay, okay. Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, boom, boom, boom, boom. It's so sad. He got so into it. I love you so much. I am available for hire. Oh, wow.

This is fun. Yeah, wow. Okay, I haven't tried any of the crumble cookies. Can we go? Okay, sorry. Hopefully you guys enjoyed literally whatever the hell this was. I don't even know. It was a murder at the end.

And, yeah, leave some comments with you just to know what you want. What do you want? For Christmas? Do you want guests? Do you want more segments? Do you want more costumes? Can we book guests? I don't know.

Look at the guy who actually played Justin Bieber. He probably remembers me. And we'll see you guys next time. Bye. Boom, boom, boom, boom. Bye. I don't know.