The Shane Dawson Podcast - Conspiracy Theories 2024! and OUR BIG NEWS!!!
Episode Date: January 17, 2024We're so excited to be back!!! In this episode we give huge life updates, discuss what it's like to finally be dads, and play a wild game of Mafia! We also dive into some crazy conspiracies that will ...leave your head spinning. We hope you enjoy your time on the couch with us!! Happy 2024! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Ever get the feeling you're being watched online?
It's not paranoia.
It's data brokers.
These companies collect your personal information,
including your browsing habits, where you live,
and even who you're related to,
and they sell it to the highest bidder.
That's where Aura comes in.
ORA automatically removes your personal info from data broker sites
and then keeps it off.
ORA also monitors the dark web,
safeguards your devices,
alerts you to real-time threats, and more.
start your free trial at aura.com
slash control that's a ura dot com slash c-o-n-t-r-o-l for your free trial that's aura dot com
slash control this might be my favorite video clip i've ever seen the twist in this
can you believe that that twist gave me the chills when i first heard it because i was like
where is this going and then when it got there that is crazy that is crazy
Hey, welcome back to whatever the hell this is.
Sorry, my eyes just glitz.
And you are wiggling and jiggling for 2024.
You're snatched.
I was looking at footage from last Christmas as I was like editing.
And you have lost a lot of weight.
So you've already got that going for you in the new year.
New Year goal check.
Wait, so what did I look like last year?
Oh my gosh.
I can't say anything right.
Welcome back
Oh man, it feels good to be back
Welcome to 2024
Kind of, we're actually filming this in 2023
Because we're waiting every single day
To see what's going to happen with the babies
And so we're filming ahead of time
So yeah, but technically it's the new year
Yes
Feels so good and refreshing to be in the new year
And I don't know if you guys have noticed this
So this is the first big change of the new year
Besides us literally becoming fathers
The first big change is
Chris has a microphone
No, here's the thing.
So the reason we did this is because I'm trying to declutter this room.
You guys can't really see this, but there's a lot of equipment in here.
So he originally had a desk and all these things and a computer and this headset.
And so now he has his own microphone.
We took all the excess crap away.
And now it really feels like you're a part of the show, as you should be.
I feel closer to you somehow.
It feels like there's more pressure on you.
I feel like there's more pressure.
Oh, I didn't feel that way until you said that.
Thank you.
Well, you used to have like the laptop to act like you were.
working behind. Oh, right. You know. And I feel good about this because it declutters the closet under the
stairs, which has just been weighing on me heavily with all that equipment. Right. No, everyone, are you
kidding me? Everyone knows what's in their cabinets. And if that doesn't stress you out, then I want to live
where you're living inside your brain. Okay. Well, happy New Year. Nice. Okay, Sandy's here.
Welcome to us. Sandy, we have so much to talk about. You really have taken over the tube.
Yes.
She just finished her 25 days of FelizNobbogs.
25 days.
Go binge it.
There may be days that are shorts, you know?
It will still count, I think.
There it is.
So we have a lot planned today.
I don't think you guys are ready for this.
This is going to be the craziest show we've ever done and could potentially end the show
because we're going to fight so hard.
Uh-oh.
Also, you guys have been asking a lot of questions in the comments about who is the
looming figure in the background of these podcasts. Is there a ghost? What is that? Did you see it at
325? There's a lot of questions of conspiracies. And I might just let you in on that little
scene very soon. But before we get into all that, let's talk about our lives. What's going on?
What? Teaser of the century. A reveal? Is it like a full face reveal? I don't know. You
have to stay tuned and find out. Nice. So quick life updates. I mean, this is a new year. So we have to
you know, think about resolutions, what we're going to do this year.
Yeah, so what is your guys as resolutions?
What are you trying to do this new year?
I'm going to, ladies first, what are your resolutions?
You know, I think coming off of the 25 days of vlog this, I'm going to definitely go all in on YouTube and really make something out of myself with it.
Yeah.
Wow.
That's awesome.
Thank you.
Okay.
Can I just say the gayest thing ever?
Or wait, is that offensive?
Whatever it is.
Depends.
I mean, it has to live up to it now.
You know?
I had a pricking my ass.
So, okay, okay, I was watching your Felice Navi vlogs the other day, and I literally started crying because I was so proud of you.
Because, like, I mean, I've known you for forever, I'm 13 years, 14 years or something.
Yeah.
And since I've known you, any time I would take out a camera or vlog or do anything, you would not really want to be in it.
You kind of step away from it.
And you just didn't want to do that.
And the fact that you're making videos, putting yourself out there, putting yourself out there.
You went to Lizzie's house and filmed the video with her and, like, did a collab.
And you were so funny and so like, like calm and collected, all these things.
And I was just like, I don't know, it made me cry.
I was just so proud of you.
So I'm so happy you're doing this.
It was pretty gay.
He was sitting right where you are now.
He covered his face because he was embarrassed that he was like crying because he was so proud of you.
Aw, that means so much.
And I think that it's just my time to shine, you know?
Yes.
Oh my God.
You can't be selfish with yourself to the world.
Yeah.
You got to get yourself to the world sometimes.
Yeah.
Thank you guys.
Well, we're so proud of you.
Chris, what is your goal this year?
What is your resolution?
I heard you earlier talking about going to a fat gay club.
That's the only resolution.
Chubrub.
I mean, I have to go to club and chub.
What are you looking?
Aren't you in a relationship?
Oh, he's coming.
Oh, yeah.
So for those that don't, there's a club called Club Chubb, which is the most incredible thing I've ever seen.
They have, like, big, like, heavy set go-go dancers.
You change, like, entire demeanor when club choked.
Yes, it's amazing to see, man.
You're in your element.
It's the most excited.
I've been in a very long time, and I keep wanting to go, but I'm so, but I'm so busy with work.
I haven't been able to go.
So I'm going to show you guys the poster for it.
Oh, my God.
I haven't seen it.
This is for their Christmas extravaganza, I guess.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Can I show that?
I don't see Weiner.
What is he doing?
That's a lot of jiggled.
What's going on in?
Is he alive?
It looks like.
Asked out, is it safe?
There's a sexy Santa Belly contest.
Should we take a group field trip?
Beefy Go-Go-Boys.
Wow.
Is this large gentleman pretty well known in the Chubb community?
He seems to be on every poster.
I'm new.
I've never been to a club event or bar or anything.
But it's working for you.
You like the images?
I just think it's amazing.
He's real and you in?
Perfect.
Interesting.
You know, it made me remember.
Didn't we walk by a gay bar a long time ago years ago?
And I think it might have been some sort of a chub bar.
And we walked by it and guys started wolfing at you.
Yeah.
No.
Yeah, yeah.
I think we walked down the street and there may have been some howling and hoofing.
No, no, he refers to this all the time.
Go ahead and then.
I don't.
Yes, you do.
All the time.
Not all the time.
Yes.
What do they call you?
Well, the Jessica Alba of the bear community.
Right.
I have heard that.
You are.
Yeah, that's me.
I felt very, that was the most, like, you know,
the biggest compliment I feel like I forgot about my looks at that point in life.
So I liked it.
You're for sure a bare lebrity.
For sure.
Bear lebrity.
Wow.
Okay, okay.
Add that to the bio.
Wow.
Love mind travel.
Bear lebrity.
2020 is already positive.
It's already looking easily.
It's easily.
But my serious goals would be I want to make a short film.
Like something that I write, direct, and, like, there's something I've been wanting to make for a very long time, and I want to make it finally, hopefully.
Oh, my God.
Wow.
Yes.
Okay.
Riley, what are you going to do?
Just be a great dad.
Hopefully retire.
Win the lottery.
What?
I'll never see you guys again.
What the fuck?
What am I going to do?
Well, my, yes, be a good dad.
Figure that out.
Hope that, know that that will go well.
But you got to go to work for our family.
I got to work.
Making a movie.
So who's going to take my place here?
What?
Oh, I'm just planning my retirement.
Yeah, so I want to make a movie and, yeah, I want to just have fun and be more present in life.
I feel like maybe sometimes I can get sucked into my anxiety and my issues and my head.
And I want to let that all go.
I want you to see me and be like, oh, my God, is he on something?
Like, I just want to be like floating.
Yeah.
I think you will be.
And I think you will make your movie.
Thank you.
I hope so.
Someone give me money.
They already have at this point.
Oh, right, because we're in the future.
Yeah.
Thank you for the money.
Yay.
Yes.
Not you guys, but hopefully rich random people in other countries.
That's the dream.
Okay.
Should we break into this new segment?
I'm ready to have some fun.
Okay.
So as you guys know last year, one of our favorite things that we did,
probably a little too much, was a psychopath game.
So obviously we realized none of us are psychopaths,
or one of us is really good at hiding in.
So I thought, what if we take this up a notch?
And what if we play a game that I consider the most dangerous game invented?
The game that almost broke up our relationship.
Because he's a baby.
The game that brings the worst out of people and shows how truly evil and manipulative they can be.
I'm scared.
Hey, sorry to interrupt the show, but oh my God.
Okay, there is so much to talk about.
We'll get to ads in a second.
But I wanted to give a life update because I can't even like take that seriously.
Like just a quick life update.
Um, everything has changed.
No, so literally my entire life has changed.
Every single thing about my life has changed since we filmed the episode you're currently
watching.
But yeah, we had our babies and we're dads now.
It's crazy.
Best experience in my whole life.
I don't even know how to put it into words.
So I should probably just wait, talk about it later.
But yeah, I don't know.
I can't even explain it.
I am so incredibly happy and grateful.
They were healthy and they were premature.
They came at 36 weeks.
So it was a little early.
And we were in the hospital for a few days.
days while they were monitoring and making sure everything was okay. But we're home now. And it's been
a few weeks. And yeah, I just love every single thing about it. I love all of it. So yeah,
it's been incredible. So I want to talk about it more in a future episode. I think we're going to
film another podcast in the next week or two. And I'll kind of go more into it. But yeah, thank you
guys for all of the love and support and being with us through the whole thing. Like we've been trying to
have kids for years. And it wasn't until, I think two years ago where we finally were like taking
all the steps to do it, and the fact that it happened, and it was best case scenario in every single
way. Like, we are so blessed and lucky, and we don't take any of it for granted. So thank you guys
for all of that. Okay, I'm going to stop gambling. I'm just excited. Okay. So yes, we had our
babies. What else? Oh, oh, okay, the podcast. So we did a whole photo shoot with my friend
Colby. He's an amazing photographer, graphic artist. He did all the stuff for the first season,
I'm calling it, I guess, of the podcast, like us with the white wall behind us, with all the
Sharpie everywhere. So yeah, we did a bunch of photos before everything happened. So I just switched
that all over. So please go to Spotify or iTunes, check it out, leave some nice reviews. And look at the
new album art because I love it so much. I'm really excited. And the last thing I want to talk about
is my merch. So, okay, the pig, the spray paint thing, you guys have been really liking it.
I'm so grateful for that because I love it so much. And I really wanted it to work. Like I wanted
you guys to like it because I wanted to make more colors of it. So now we have three more
hoodies and a new shirt. And I'm calling this like the moody pig collection because it's very
moody. It's very winter. It's very like I don't want to go anywhere. I just want to lay around in my
dark moody hoodie and chill. So we have a black shirt with a purple pig on it. Then we have
a forest green hoodie with a light green pig, very monochromatic. And then my favorite one,
this is a like greenish, dark yellowish tie dye with a black pig and black SDs down the sleeves.
It's very like stormy sky, but a little alien in there. And then this one is a risk.
you know every time i do a new merch drop i want there to be something bold maybe ugly and something
people will go you should have kept that in the drafts so this is my navy dark blue tie-dye hoodie
with baby pink pig i know does not make sense should not work but i love it i just love like
the vibe of the dark moodiness with like the baby pink so yeah hopefully you guys like the new merch
check it out go to shane dot some merch.com and yeah okay i want to go thank you guys for everything
This is just such an awesome way to start the year.
I can't wait to start recording podcasts again and talk about life, talk about stuff.
I promise I'm not going to be annoying.
I'm not just going to say, like, as a father, like, I'm not going to do that, although
Ryland is already saying, as a mom, like, every five seconds.
So, all right, you guys, I'm going to go.
Hopefully you enjoy the rest of the episode.
I've been talking too much.
Okay, I'm going to go.
And, yeah, see you guys later.
Bye.
Ever get the feeling you're being watched online?
It's not paranoia.
It's data brokers.
These companies collect your personal information,
including your browsing habits, where you live,
and even who you're related to,
and they sell it to the highest bidder.
That's where Aura comes in.
ORA automatically removes your personal info
from data broker sites and then keeps it off.
Aura also monitors the dark web,
safeguards your devices, alerts you to real-time threats, and more.
Start your free trial at Aura.com slash control.
That's A-U-R-A-com,
slash C-O-N-T-R-O-L for your free trial.
That's Aura.com slash control.
So we are going to play Moss.
Have you played this?
No.
Is that a portrait?
I have it.
Really?
Bloody knuckles.
You're going to love this.
You guys aren't living.
Okay, so here's how you play Mafia.
If you haven't played it, listen up.
It's so fun.
So how you do it is we're all going to pick out of this cup, and there's little pieces of
paper inside.
Now, you're going to pick a piece of paper, and don't show anyone.
Hide it.
Don't show anyone.
You're going to look at it yourself, and it's either going to say townsperson or mafia.
Are you yawning again?
I'm trying to hide this.
We just started.
I can't help that we film this at midnight.
It's 6 p.m.
Midnight.
It's literally 6 p.m.
I've already lived a whole life today.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
Anyways.
God, I hope I get to kill you.
So, pick a piece of paper, and there's only one mafia in the group.
Okay?
So if you get mafia, once again, don't tell anyone.
So then each round, we're all going to close our eyes, and the mafia is going to open their eyes and choose who they want to kill.
Then everybody's going to close their eyes again and wake up, and then we're going to find out who died.
And then as a group, we have to decide who we think is the secret mafia that's killing us off.
And then we all vote.
And if we're right, then we win the game.
If we're wrong, the mafia gets to kill again.
Ooh, this sounds so good.
And there's a narrator, so everyone will be safely.
Yes, that's the other big part of it.
Oh, my God, I'm so excited.
So a lot of you guys have been commenting, who is the person in the background?
What's going on?
Well, today, we're not going to fully meet him yet because, listen, we're going to take this slow.
But you're just going to hear his voice.
So I have here a headset mic.
This is crazy.
I have a headset microphone.
And you guys are going to get a meet our producer, Spencer.
Here you go.
Well, this is a lot of pressure to have like a voice reveal in this way.
I'm so excited.
I will say to like host and narrate mafia.
It's a little bit of pressure.
If anybody can do it, it's Spencer.
Right.
Hello.
Hello.
Oh, my God.
The voice.
This is the voice.
Wow.
Is this weird?
Yeah.
Like Rowland said, it feels like,
here he is.
It's like a wrestling introduction.
Well, yeah, listen, I wanted to take it slow because, first of all,
so Spencer's been working with us for a year now.
Literally a year today, almost.
Um, and helping me with my videos, my conspiracy videos, the podcast, like really just helping me with a lot of things. And, um, yeah, it's been an incredible working relationship. But I never wanted you to feel weird or like I was like putting you on camera, forcing you to be in videos. Like that was never something we talked about or wanted to do. But when the idea of playing mafia came up, you said, well, I could do the voice if you want. And I was like, okay, I don't want you to feel weird or like, I'm like exploiting you or something. But you're okay with this. Yeah. No, I, I, I, I'm on record. I'm not being exploited.
Why are you just acting like this is a hostage situation?
Well, it's weird.
It's like, he's a narrating.
We are playing mafia, so it makes sense.
Yeah.
And, you know, like, eventually, if you're comfortable,
maybe you can pop in on camera,
but I also don't want you to feel exploited.
So for now, we're going to be your voice,
and you guys can guess what he looks like.
Or you can very easily find his, like, Instagram probably.
I don't think so.
I think he's private.
Some people have found my Instagram.
Very few people.
But, yeah, a few of them.
That's dedication, dude.
I know.
Do you have a voice you're going to be putting on for the game?
Have you, like, taken on a character, perhaps?
Let's not put on too much.
I mean, because I was hoping for a British accent.
You can't do it.
I'm not mad at it, but, you know.
We don't know.
We don't know.
I probably won't do it.
I probably won't do a British action.
Kind of have me excited with we don't know.
I didn't know where that's going.
Okay, so, wow, this is very exciting.
I can't wait.
Okay, so let's pull out a piece of paper from this cup.
Don't look, don't look, hide it, hide it.
Well, you look, but don't show anyone else.
Oh, also in addition to the rules, there's another,
I thought I was playing a different way where there's also a guardian angel.
Ooh, what is that?
Who, so after the mafia will pick someone to kill,
they'll close their eyes and then I'll tell the guardian angel to wake up
and they can pick someone to save.
And so if they, you know, if they pick the same person the mafia killed,
that person doesn't die.
So it's like, oh, there was an attempt.
Yeah, right.
The kill wasn't successful.
Dude, this kind of would it's like to play Dungeons
and dragons.
I kind of like this,
this is fun.
Wow.
Okay.
Oh, yeah.
So once you feel the piece of paper,
crumble it up, okay?
And no react.
Don't make a reaction,
Shane, or I might know what you are.
Or am I making a reaction
to fake you out?
Oh, so manipulative.
So on the count of three,
we're all going to look.
Don't say anything.
Okay.
Ready?
Here we go.
Crumble it back up,
put in your pocket.
Don't lose it
because we're going to need it
if we play again.
Yeah.
I ate it.
I didn't eat it.
Okay.
Okay, is everyone ready?
Are you dropping hints?
All right, everyone.
That was kidding.
It is bedtime, guys.
It's about 6 p.m., so we all got to get snuggled in bed, and everyone go to sleep.
Amen, finally.
Close your eyes, everybody.
Please.
Okay, Mafia.
Waken.
Please select who you would like to kill.
Okay, good.
Close your eyes.
Okay, guardian angel, wake up.
Pick who you like to save.
Okay, very good.
Interesting, interesting.
Cardangels sleep.
Oh, it's a bright sunny morning.
Everyone, wake up, wake up, wake up.
Just what I needed, a little nap.
Well, guys, I have some bad news.
Last night, Chris was walking down the street.
No.
Yeah, he was walking down.
It was late at night, and he passed by a dark alley.
He looked in there.
It looked pretty scary, but he decided to go in anyways,
so he walked in, and he smelled something in the dumpster,
and he looked in and he saw Jared's dead body.
No!
Oh, my God, the twist.
The twist is twisted it.
I don't think I've never had a narrator give a twist.
Oh, I need a step.
Oh, my God.
I'm the only one I think that didn't enjoy the twist.
I know. I didn't enjoy that.
Wait, hold on, hold on.
Let the narrate film.
Okay, yeah.
And so all the towns people gather around.
You guys all gathered around and saw Jared's dead body,
but you saw something fall out of his pocket.
It was his guardian angel.
What?
So the guardian angel, unfortunately, has passed away.
They killed the angel, too?
What?
So wait, I could die?
I thought I was safe.
Wow.
Wait, what?
Oh, my God.
So, yeah, Jared's dead, and he was the angel.
So no more angel, baby.
I could have saved myself.
Yeah, yeah, you could have.
Well, next round.
Oh, no.
I saved someone else.
You are not selfish.
Good for you.
All right, townspeople, I think you have to figure out who is the murderer.
Here's what I'm thinking.
It's already Ryan.
No, for sure.
You can't even wait.
You're just jumping right on it.
No, no, no, no, because it's either Sandy or Chris.
I'm not thinking it's you for some reason.
Interesting.
Blaming the two Latino people in the room?
Wow.
Yes.
No, Sandy, because it's, because.
I feel like that would just make sense.
It's like, oh, it's, I can get away with it.
It's my husband.
And Chris, because like, you know.
I think it's violent.
Shane, you're going to be so fucked if you kill me
because the mafia is still going to be alive.
I swear to you.
Wow.
On everything, literally my entire life.
This caused the biggest fight we've ever had
because he did this and then he was lying to me.
And I was like, that proved to me that there's something off.
No, that's not what happened.
He's gaslighting.
So it's Ryland.
No, I was, I was offering to clean people's bedrooms for a week and Shane, like, we took a break because somebody had to go to the bathroom and he leaned over to me and he's like, are you the mafia?
And I was like, that's the thing.
But during the break, that's what scared me.
This was like early on in dating.
I was going to let him give up my position and lose in front of all of my friends.
I'm fucking competitive.
I would say that's commitment.
Thank you.
So good for you.
Thank you.
Is this a psychopath test?
That's what I, that's the point.
Okay.
I will say, Sandy's being pretty quiet.
Oh.
I feel like Sandy would get nervous if we put pressure.
Did you kill Jared?
Did you push me off that cliff?
Tell us the truth.
Did you kill him?
Wait, is the game over?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, it's her.
No, I just didn't know what the process is.
Are we now like...
So we as townspeople have to decide on a person that we think is the killer.
If you are the mafia, which we're not saying you are, she probably is.
But if you are, you have to debate and be like, no, I'm not.
Well, no, no.
I'm not because if the mafia gets away with it she's the mafia you were right you were right
mafia gets away with it then they win the game okay always I get I get it I get it
well no I'm not the mafia I don't know well played why would I kill my own
husband because oh that's always on a game like this I think anything I would probably
kill the other Mexican in the room whoa whoa there could only be one
In every movie, there's only one.
And every movie there's only one.
Let me just check out.
Chris, did you kill Jared?
No, I honestly did not kill Jared.
I kind of believe him.
Well, okay, I forgot.
There is one thing I forgot to say.
Okay, maybe I'll save this for the next round
because let's all vote right now.
Who thinks it's Sandy?
Of course.
I don't know, I guess.
Okay.
Sorry, Sandy.
Well, you're dead.
You don't have a vote.
Sorry.
It's not mean, it's fax, it's fax.
I think it's Rylund.
Oh.
You're dead.
Too bad.
Okay, so we all voted for Sandy, narrator.
Okay, so the townspeople stormed up to Sandy's door.
They were banging on the door over and over, and she peeks her head out.
But what do you see under her nose?
An Italian message.
She was indeed part of the mafia.
Yes!
We got her.
We got her.
I want to say, who did you say?
I didn't want to believe it.
And you know what's fucked up?
I actually saved Rylen.
Yeah.
Because I thought, I think Rylen's going to get killed.
That's going to be.
I don't think anyone's going to kill Sandy.
No, I wouldn't have.
I don't think anyone's going to kill me.
Obviously, I was wrong.
Wow.
See, and to be fair, Sandy didn't know how the game progresses.
So she didn't, like, stand on the couch and say it wasn't her.
This is just like real life.
Yeah. In real life, if somebody dies, the spouse is always like one of the first people they assumed it.
It's just like real life.
Yeah. Have you seen snapped? They go crazy.
Whoa.
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Okay, enjoy the rest of the episode.
Bye.
So, for the losers of this next round, we have a punishment.
Oh, no.
And the losers are going to have to try this.
What?
I have a good feeling about this.
Oh, my God.
So, yeah, as you can see, that is some baked bean boba.
Ew.
That is sick and twisted.
So there's some incentive for you to not lose the game.
Are you guys ready?
Yep.
How do you lose?
So if you're like Sandy just lost.
But if she would have made it to the end, then the townspeople lose.
Then you guys would have lost.
Yeah.
So don't lose.
I kind of hope I just don't get it.
I know.
Getting it is scary.
There's a lot of pressure.
Yeah, I don't want to get it either.
Oh, wait.
It's like something to do.
I don't want to get it either.
All right, everybody, look at it.
Don't show anyone, don't tell anyone.
Put in your pocket.
Okay, everyone in town have their roles.
Yep.
Okay, I think it's time for bed.
Everyone gets snuggled up.
Sweet dreams, everybody.
Nice restful sleep.
But, uh, mafia, please awaken.
Please point to who you'd like to kill.
Go to sleep.
Guardian Angel, please arise.
Please select who you'd like to save.
Very good, very good.
Close your eyes.
Ah, the rooster is crowing.
The sun is shining.
It's time to wake up, everybody.
But guys, I have to tell you something happened last night.
Oh, no, it's me.
Fuck, Shane.
No.
You know, it is New Year's, so you decided to get...
Kill my son.
No, no, no, no, not that, not that.
Oh, it's his husband, huh?
No, no, no, no.
Shane went out alone.
He decided, you know, it's wintertime?
Let's go sledding.
It's time to have some fun, some night sledding.
But unfortunately, he saw a ramp.
That looks like a good ramp.
That looks like I get some sick air on that.
But the mafia built this particular ramp.
So his sled goes down, shoots off.
It looks like it's going to, it looks like it's going to crash into the tree.
But luckily, the guardian angel.
no
in all their heavenly glory
managed to
knock down that tree I guess
yeah they knocked down the tree and you
landed safe and sound
thank you God
oh my God
yes yes yes
the mafia was stored it so no one
was killed last night
so who do you guys
that was an attempt it was
oh
Chris has been acting jittery
ever since just say
I've just observed body language
after like we wake up listen i'm already going to say it's ryan like here's why here's why i would not
be i would not i would not be a single dad okay hold on he's good at this dude i told you here's why i say
it's round because when we came back when we when the townspeople woke up we didn't even know who died
and rilin was already like all right who is it who like and i'm like that's the best time to
no that's the best time to observe energy because it's like did you did you save me no are you the guardian
an angel? No. I'm not.
But Chris is looking like really. Are you the mafia?
Absolutely. I'm losing this. Are you the mafia?
100% not. You shook your head and said no. So that's a tell.
And he kind of smiled a little bit too.
No, I wouldn't kill Shane. Honestly, I would have, I, I, no, no. Who would you kill? How about
this? Sandy. Who would you kill? I would have killed Sandy because it wouldn't have been as
obvious. It's like, I like Sandy maybe the most in the room. What? Sometimes you go.
What? What do you mean? Maybe. What do you mean? What do you
I mean, maybe.
Well, he's my husband.
But, like, you know, you go for, like, who might not be the most obvious if you're the mafia.
He's talking a lot.
Is that, like, reverse?
Like, you go for who's not maybe the most obvious?
Well, I can say, I can already, this is so fun to play because I know it's not me, because somebody tried to kill me.
So now I can really point the finger and you can't deflect and be like, it's Shane.
Okay.
Then, look in their eyes and come back and see if you really think it's me.
Jared.
Did you?
I can't.
Jared, did you try to kill me?
No.
Whoa, that was highly suspicious.
Okay, beginner's luck.
Sometimes the first time somebody plays, they get Mafia twice.
Sandy, did you kill me?
No.
That lookaway was wrong.
They're both making me think it's not Chris.
Chris, why did you try to kill me?
I didn't.
I swear.
Oh, God, they're all awful at this.
Oh, no.
Or they're great.
I can't tell.
I really did.
All right.
I think it's time for a vote, guys.
Unless anyone wants to bring any more, any other cases forward.
Ryland.
Ryland.
Wow, you guys are fucked.
I'm just going to say the mafia is going to win if you guys do this.
I promise you, like, on everything that I'm not.
Ryland, Ryland, Ryland.
All right.
Yeah, I think it's Ryland.
Also, I died, but guess why, baby, I was resurrected.
So I get a vote.
Tootles, the mafia is going to stay alive and fuck you all.
Well, you guys, unfortunately,
Rylan was out walking the dog.
dogs just having a nice walk when the townspeople came around the corner and there were just
no stopping them but that part they looked high and low for any sign but no riland was it was
innocent are you charred you idiot who was it it was Chris well it was not well right now it's
night time so we got to risk another night's sleep in town guys everyone close your eyes now i
get to just watch the show okay here we go all right everyone snug asleep in their beds
Mafia, please awaken.
Who would you like to kill?
Go to sleep.
Guardian Angel, wake up.
Who would you like to save?
Okay, go to sleep.
It's time.
Another morning in...
What town are we in?
Growersville.
Another beautiful morning in Growersville.
Chris, you can wake up.
Jared, he goes away up.
I slept in, sorry.
You guys, I have some bad news.
Last night, Sandy was...
Oh, no.
Yeah.
She was going for a walk.
She just wanted to clear her head.
Where's a twist?
See the sights.
Oh, it's coming.
Because she saw Chris dead on the ground.
No!
Yes, she killed Chris in the middle of the street.
But what did she see?
What shirt was he wearing?
Guardian Angel?
No!
Stop!
Oh, did you save yourself?
No, the guardian angel's dead.
He was a guardian angel.
You saved me?
I did.
I did.
Oh, my God.
I'm going to get you bottle service at Chubbcliffe.
Wow.
I'm so sorry you're dead, but thank you for saving me.
All right.
I guess this has to be the last.
Wait, who's all dead?
Well, now two of you have to decide on one of you.
Yeah, so it's three people left.
It's either one of you, you.
I'm the decision.
cider because I'm the only one
that we know for sure is not the mafia.
That's not true. Two of you have to band together
to exile. Well, can the mafia kill themselves?
No. I mean, I guess they
could. They don't do that. No, that's not in the code.
So I have to, okay, so, okay,
it has to be Jared. Why do you think it's
what? It's one of them. How do you know that? Chris is dead and you're dead and
I survived. Right. Okay.
Whoa. It's one of us.
Why don't we give each of them?
Wait, you tried to kill me first?
I didn't kill nobody.
Well, why don't we give each of them like a 20-second speech, like, you know, convince us that you're not the mafia.
You're so good at this, Spencer?
Thank you.
How do I convince somebody that I'm not the mafia?
I'm not the mafia.
Dang, he's the mafia.
I thought you wanted to be a psychopath.
Well, no, I'm not a psychopath.
That's why I'm saying I'm not the mafia.
Oh.
I actually, I really, okay.
No, that's fine.
Think what you think
Okay, I didn't kill you
Or I'm not the Mafia
Because I think
We should have peace everywhere
Wow
Very convincing argument
Interesting that the Mafia
Who killed the Guardian Angel
wants peace
All right, Shane
I think
I guess it does come up to you
I mean unless one of them
wants to really
throw a surprise vote in there
Who do you think it is?
Oh my God
This is so hard
I think it's Sandy
Oh, what a giveaway.
Okay, I think the mafia, unfortunately, heartbreakingly, is my own brother.
But my tactic worked in the first place because he went right for Rylan.
You thought he killed you.
True.
And then on the, yeah.
It was you.
It was.
But then as soon as the guardian angel thing came up, I thought, fuck.
Then how is that not going to be obvious?
Because you're already dead.
We know it's not him.
He's a guardian angel.
You killed me and I saved your lady, your wife.
You were a wild card.
You were a wild card.
I should have killed my wife.
I should have killed Sandy.
Good TLC title, but yeah, yeah.
Wow.
Does that mean everybody but you has to drink the cross tea?
We won.
Who's we?
Oh, so Jared has to drink it.
The winner is us.
The loser, unfortunately, is Jared.
Oh, no.
Let's get that boba, baby.
I feel like I won, though.
Didn't I win the first round?
No, because I guessed that you were the mafia in the end.
I think we need a trash bag or something.
I thought it was a one-round game.
You got to play the long game.
Oh, no.
Okay.
Oh, my God.
Oh, you get to do your own mix.
Oh, no.
And Jared's.
You get to choose how much bean boba you want.
No.
Perfect.
Oh, no.
I feel bad for Derek.
Can you hold my big beans?
Maybe it's good, though, because the guy in the video loved it.
If they're drinking it on TikTok,
It has to be good.
Are the beans going to fit through the straw?
Is there a one of the Stanley straws?
Like the big rubbery.
Oh, you're going to put way more in there.
Yeah, you got a dump-a-way.
What you're talking about it?
I feel like, dang, this is all beans at this point.
All beans, that is a growers.
All beans.
All beans, no pork.
Well, the pork is there.
Yeah, save some beans for the others, you know.
All right.
I didn't see a bean.
Oh, I didn't see.
That's a fake out.
Oh, wait, really? Are you okay?
No, he's fine.
Don't get it on my game.
Okay, never mind.
Oh, oh.
Oh, my God, no.
Oh, no.
I'm going to start forping just looking at it.
It was good.
I have a sensitive stomach right now.
I can't take it.
I liked it.
Okay.
I like it so much.
I wanted to taste it again and again and again, so I just spit it back again.
Oh, well, good job, Jared.
Oh, thank you.
That went great.
You did your time.
You did your time, and now you're free.
Get the job.
away from me.
Okay.
Now, okay, we should move on
because we have a lot playing for the show
but like I kind of,
should we just do like a speed round?
Or no, we're done.
I don't know, I'm just having fun.
I'm gonna do it one more time
as long as there's no way
I have to drink Bingo.
No punishment.
Okay, I just feel like it could be fun.
Okay, I feel like I'm fine.
I really thought it was you,
Ryland this last round.
Well, that's the easy thing
because I'm loud.
Everyone's like...
You could be it.
I did.
You were giving little smirks and you know.
But that's how I am
when I play any game.
Okay, I was hoping this.
I'm a loud bitch.
I was hoping that everybody thought it was you, to be honest.
Well, it worked for you.
I don't know if I got one or two.
If anyone's going to pin something on me, Shane, we'll join the bandwagon.
Here's what I think we should do.
We'll do one round, and that's it.
So one death.
Okay, that's fine.
Are you guys ready?
Look, but don't show.
I don't know if I can open that.
Okay, everyone, everyone, everyone ready for the speed round?
I'm ready.
Okay, guys, we're going to get a quick night's sleep.
Everyone go to sleep, quick, quick, quick.
Mafia, wake up.
Who would you like to kill?
Go to sleep.
Guardian Angel, wake up.
Well, I guess...
Okay, guys, bad news, the Guardian Angel left town.
So, no one is safe this round.
All right, townspeople, wake up.
There's a long night, guys, and unfortunately,
you guys were all out for a walk.
But then you were in...
You said it, let's go to 7-Eleven, right?
Let's see how many hot wheels they have, any rare ones.
Oh, yeah.
You go inside 7-Eleven, and all the lights die.
You can't see anything.
And when the lights go back on, someone's dead on the floor.
Chris.
Laying in a pool of his own blood.
Oh, my gosh.
But now...
Again, you mother.
We have to decide who was the mafia.
Ryland.
Well, no, I just gave away that I would have killed Chris.
Or did you give it away on purpose?
to throw us off because you were like that'd be too I would have never now I would have killed
Jared I had to pivot from my three I would say Ryland too well you guys are all just on this
Shane wave and you're gonna regret it I swear to you I'm not Brilyn who do you think it is
well I'm dead Chris is don't look at me you already killed Chris Sandy oh no I'm just I'm just asking
did you do some killing oh look me in my eyes I look me in my eyes did you kill Chris
no did you kill Chris no it's giving me
Suspicious. Did you kill Chris? No. Wow, that was kind of creepy, Shane. That was creepy.
Hey, that was a loop. Jared, did you do it? Yeah.
Wait, really? No. I'm starting to think it's Shane. Like, I don't think the likelihood of her getting it a third time would be high. Now I think it's Riley. It's Ryan. It's nice. All right. Let's put it to a vote.
Did you kill Chris? No, no, no, no, no. You guys cannot do this again and lose. Well, what's your alibi?
Where were you?
Right here with the rest of the townspeople.
Were you helping me look for an ultra rare red exclusive?
I think it's shit.
Did you get rid of the guardian angel when you were searching through the cup?
No, somebody took out one of the things, which just so happened to be the guardian angel.
But Shane's acting a little suspicious to me, and he's my husband, so I think you should take my lead.
You really think it's me.
Look at me dead in my eyes and tell me you think I'm the mafia.
Did you kill Chris?
No.
I'm dead.
I have no.
Jared said, oh, yeah.
here's what Jared did.
Let me explain Jared's outlaw, his motive, right?
Before we started playing the game, Jared said, I would kill Chris.
I did.
So then Chris dies, right?
But was that Jared being like, well, it's not me.
That's too obvious.
I already said I'd kill Chris.
He also crumpled the mafia paper so crazy that I feel like he'd be able to choose it again.
Oh!
I've pivoted straight to Jared, and I think it's him.
Interesting.
It's interesting.
And then when I asked him if he was, he said yes, which is.
is very Jared to like, be like, get off on it.
Like tell the truth, but then not tell the truth.
Yeah, it's super me, huh?
All right, I think it's time for a vote.
Okay.
Everyone who thinks it's Riland.
Don't you dare, Shane.
You're going to lose, I promise you.
Everyone who thinks it's Jared.
I think it's Sandy.
No.
I was thinking it's Riland, but then it's true.
He's really fighting for it.
So I'm going to see Jared.
Okay, fine.
I'll say Jared.
I think it's Shane.
All right.
Well, the townspeople stormed up to Jared's house.
They swarmed over him.
Oh, no.
Leaving only his mouth full of rare hot wheels dead on the ground.
But alas, you guys were close, but no cigar.
Because if you would look at his spouse, if you had looked at his spouse, his wife,
you would have found the mafia.
I fucking knew it.
You killed me.
I knew it.
Did you yawn again?
No, that was actual shock.
Wow.
I got to drive home with her.
She became a champion.
Look at that.
Wow.
Well, listen, when Rylan said he would kill Chris, I was like, well, for sure, I'm going to then, you know, put it on Rylent.
And then I immediately said, I think it's Rylent.
I would have killed Chris because I feel like I threw everyone off the scent of me killing Chris.
Right.
And then I thought whoever's going to do is probably going to kill Chris to set me up.
Wow.
Good job, Sample.
Now I know everyone is out to kill me.
I know.
You really had me thinking it was one of the brothers.
Yeah.
Wow.
That was fun.
I can't wait to watch this back.
That was crazy.
And thank you, narrator.
Yes.
And guys, let us know in the comments.
If you want next time, if you want to play with us, then we can turn off the lights and turn off everything when the mafia is killing.
So you guys can guess along too.
That can be fun.
Okay.
We're going to take a quick little break.
And when we come back, oh, my God.
The biggest update ever from one of our favorite viewers and the craziest conspiracy, the darkest,
see, the darkest, craziest one I think I've ever seen
that is going to fucking make you
quake. Did Cici have her
baby?
Nice. Please, come back.
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I'll be in my alien leotard.
No, I won't. I promise.
All right, enjoy there's the show.
Okay, are you guys ready for a big update that Rylan kind of ruined?
I swear she got pregnant after us.
How is she already given birth?
Or is that the thing?
C's been an enigma since day one.
I love her.
She doesn't follow the rules.
Okay, so I got an email from C.
She said her baby came at 34 weeks, six weeks early, on Halloween.
He's doing amazing.
It's the baby boy.
He's doing amazing after spending a week in the NICU.
We actually broke my water by having sex.
Wow, he must have thought, I'm doing good.
You know, like, wow, she's never done this.
So their baby's name is Travis, which is so cute.
So here's a picture of them in the hospital.
gosh. And then here is a picture of them with a baby.
Look how cute they are.
So cute. So cute. Well, congratulations, C.C. That is the most precious thing ever.
I'm so glad everything worked out for them.
Yeah. That is so cute.
Okay. Speaking of babies, this is from Deb. I got an email.
By the way, if you want to send us any emails, send them to Shane Dosson podcast stuff at gmail.com.
Okay, this is from Deb. She said, no, I'm not 80.
No, I'm not 80. I've been a fan for 12 years now.
No, I'm not 80.
What does that mean?
It must be a response to something else.
Did I say she look 80?
I don't think I said that.
She said, this is her daughter Maverick.
She's seven months, and she loves Rylan's vlogs.
And when the puppies are on screen.
So here is, oh, my God, this is so cute.
So she's in our merch and she's playing with her baby.
My God, it's such a baby episode.
Oh, my goodness.
So cute.
That is so cute.
Oh, my God, I love it.
Wow.
I love the baby theme.
Babies, their babies, babies.
So cute.
Next is from Tara.
So Simi Tara, which, by the way, like seven or eight years ago,
Simi came on my last podcast, and I made her sign a contract saying that she would never turn on me or stop being a fan.
She's committed.
And she signed it.
And even when I was getting canceled, I reached out to her and I was like, you know, I love you so much.
You know, listen, if you want to walk away.
And she was just like, bitch, never.
So we love you, Tara.
So here's a picture of Tara in the pigment.
She looks so good.
I love that color on her.
Wow.
Terror's a real one.
It looks amazing.
A real one.
I got to meet her, just saying.
Really?
I was there behind the scenes.
She's so cute.
I love her.
I got this email from April, and she said, first off, I just wanted to say I love the show.
Secondly, have you seen these?
Are these real?
You guys should try them.
So she sent me this picture, and I thought this was the craziest, grossest thing ever.
These are the dollar tree or the one dollar.
That's my spot.
This email was sent to us by Jared.
Oh, no.
So these are bath bombs that are Lucky Charms, Doritos, Fruit Loops.
I would do you have Lucky Charms.
Fruit Loops and Lucky Charms sound like they hit.
Yeah.
Doritos and Cheetos.
Why would any?
Oh my God, we have them here.
Oh.
No.
Coming in.
Oh.
These are for real bath bombs.
But the, okay, they look very small in person, huh?
But the thing is, Doritos actually now I'm looking at it, it just says wild blue raspberries.
No way.
That's not even...
Oh.
It is the dollar tree, you know?
There are deceptions going on.
It's crazy because even though it says not for consumption,
all I want to do is put it in my mouth.
This smells nothing like a fruit loop.
I'm disappointed.
And this smells nothing like a Dorito.
Well, there we go.
So I thought it could be fun if we move to the bathroom
and if we all get in the tub together.
Let's do it.
Okay, we'll do that in the next show.
Okay, this email I really wanted to read
because I wanted Sandy's response to this.
Because I want to know if this is,
something she's heard of through Jared. This is from Cindy. She said, Hey, Shane, I saw this,
and it made me laugh, and I've never thought to do this, but I guess some people stuffed
toilet paper into their butthole to muffle a fart. What? Wait a second. They do it when
they're on a date or with friends or even on a public toilet. Wouldn't it fly out? It's a fart
silencer. Anyways, love the podcast. And then I thought about, like, anybody knows about fart silencers
or any like fart techniques. It would be Jared. But then I started thinking, no, Jared wouldn't
That sounds dangerous. That sounds like a back pressure situation that could happen.
Because where is the fart going?
Well, that's what I'm saying, into the tissue paper that's then going to fly out.
And then you've got like something else to explain if you're wearing shorts.
So Jared puts toilet paper in his butt for when he has butt swampt butt.
But not for fart. But not for farce. He doesn't hide those.
It's something our dad created actually called the tissue of cleanliness. I haven't used it
recently. It's more of a man pawn for
bug sweat. I haven't needed it.
Yeah, you know. But
yeah, I mean, I'm like, well, that was
personal. Thank you for
sharing that. I appreciate that. Is it
something different than a tissue paper?
No, you just shove a wad of, like,
toilet paper in your butt if it's getting swampy.
But it's definitely not a
fart muffling device. No.
Have you tried farting with it in?
You have to, kind of, you know?
But then wouldn't it fly out? No.
But they have, like, creams you can put
That's like a deodorant for that area.
For butt farts?
Well, so you're not sweating in that area?
I thought you made a cream to make your farts.
No, no, for sweating.
Wetter.
Super glue.
No, I actually think it's a good tip.
If I'm ever pooping in a public place, which I would never do,
I would shove some toilet paper in there to catch that fart.
That's smart.
Yeah. I think that's smart.
Well, thank you, Cindy.
Thank you, Cindy.
I'll explore it.
Let's get to some voicemails.
Hey, Shane.
This is Jen.
from Michigan. My son has become, I guess, part of the gay community. And I wanted to thank you
guys for being the most excellent role models for him. He's turning 19 this year. He's had a really
rough time. And finally, after watching your podcast, I really appreciate you guys giving us
really good role models and examples to live his life. So I really appreciate you guys. God
bless happy holidays oh my god it's gonna make me cry but also kind of offensive to Jared I guess
because you're not that doesn't he's a great ally but he's a good ally you actually are the best role
model for dad yeah yeah exactly oh my god that's so sweet that might be the most heartfelt voicemail we've
ever got it literally did make me tear up that was the sweetest thing I've ever heard and also like
I don't know just so sweet that you and your son can watch this but I also love that it made him not
homophobic because sometimes I think our show
might.
Just sometimes.
So it's nice to know if it didn't.
That was the sweetest thing ever. Thank you so much.
Congrats to your son.
Let's get to the next voicemail.
Hi, Shane.
Hi, everyone.
So I was just watching the podcast
and you guys were talking about
having air sucking in
through your ass and then, you know,
farting it back out.
And I had a next boyfriend.
You know, we call that snailing.
He told me he could
And he called it snailing
And then he turned up to be gay
I thought it was a gay thing
But yeah
We call it snailing
Don't know if that's a real term
But I thought I'd throw that out there
Okay, bye guys
I'm just so proud of our show
I'm so glad that we're role models
I'm so glad that we're inspiring people
That does seem gay though right
It does seem a little gay though
It really does
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it does, but I, snailing?
How do you come to that?
Is it because they go in the shell and go back out?
Okay, I googled it.
So I actually, I didn't find snailing as a term.
She might have coined that one, but I did find snail trail.
Have you heard of this?
No.
No.
Okay, get ready.
Snail trail.
Oh, no.
A viscous streak of vaginal lubrication left on a surface.
What?
Anyways.
Dude, snails don't deserve this.
What?
What did they do?
It's offensive to the smalians.
Yeah.
Well, I guess it would be really important just to make sure to wipe yourself, right?
Or you're just like walking around with just like a ton of juices like being left everywhere.
You need a tissue up there.
Well, okay.
Should we do something that's not butt related?
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Hi, Shane.
First, I want to say, I love you guys so much.
I've been watching your video since like 2008, if not earlier.
But I have a question.
So I only get off to lesbian porn, but I have a husband, and I don't think that I am gay.
Just watching lesbian porn, you can be gay.
Okay, thanks, love you, bye.
I don't think so.
I think for women, it's like, if you were a man telling me you were getting off to gay porn,
I'd be like, you're a little bit gay.
But for women, I think it's more about, I mean, I'm not a woman, so I'll let you finish.
No, go on, I let you.
I was just saying, I think it's from other women I have spoken to.
it's more about like getting there mentally and the connection that the person's having inside of and like sometimes with a man it's just like too to like you know yeah I agree I think that it's more like sensual where you're like mentally trying to get yourself stimulated
stimulated versus just I think with men it could just always only be physical and for women it's a lot more it's more just like mental and you sometimes have to see the men like watching lesbian but
porn too, but
right? I mean, isn't
that a thing? I don't, but. I would
think that they would enjoy like the
caressing of it all, like just being
able to use themselves. They start with
brushing each other's hair.
Where do we go from
there? And I actually think
it's really normal. I think
it's, yeah, it's really normal for women to
enjoy or get aroused by
seeing like a lesbian. If you're
a straight woman
and you watch that,
Can you leave a comment explaining it to us?
Or like, I want to know more.
I want a conversation going.
And like, what kind of scenes are you?
Don't get too graphic.
I'm just kidding.
Okay, we're going to take a quick little break.
But when we come back, conspiracies.
Stay tuned.
Cha-ching, cha-ching, cha-ching.
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I'm a rocket money.
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Welcome back.
Okay, this is crazy.
I might say, well, I don't want to give it away, but this might be my favorite video clip I've ever seen.
I hate that it's from TikTok, but it is the twist in this.
If you thought Spencer's twist during the Mafia game was good, hold on.
What?
It's fucking gnarly.
Narlie.
The fuck?
It's gnarly.
I was just stood up on a date and it was the most humiliating experience ever.
Storytime met this guy on a dating app and he immediately asked me out on a date to a specific restaurant.
He confirmed day of, I get to the restaurant and see that he's nowhere to be found.
So I reach out, no response.
I checked the app and noticed that he unmatched me.
At that point I was a little confused and I was kind of pissed because I was already dressed and I got all the way there.
And because I had put in so much effort, I thought I might as well just have a meal while I am in the building.
And it wasn't until I got home when I was scrolling Facebook and I saw a very similar story from a girl at that same restaurant who also got stood up.
She found out that there are restaurants now posing as people on dating apps just so you go to their business.
And once you get stood up, they know that probably nine times out of ten that you're going to buy something from them.
And that just blew my mind.
The fact that we have stooped this low, sirens, jail time, jail for all the people at the restaurants thinking they're marketing geniuses.
You are not no girl boss town.
You are just.
No way.
Can you fucking believe that?
That twist gave me the chills when I first heard it.
Because I was like, where is this going?
And then when it got there?
That is crazy.
That is crazy.
So people from the restaurant are just on dating apps, like telling people, yeah, meet me here.
So I looked this up, right?
And there's a bunch of news articles about it right now.
Some restaurants are using AI.
So they're using AI and they have a bunch of like, you know, phones going and iPads going.
And they're talking to people through AI to get and with the ultimate goal of getting the restaurant to be the date.
location.
Isn't that
I want to see
the fucking,
I want to see
the conversation.
I bet.
Somebody needs to
put together
like an AI test
where you ask a
certain question
and like the AI
is not able to
respond for whatever
reason.
See,
here's a problem.
We need an AI
blocker.
The problem, though,
is if you do that,
they'll learn.
Yeah.
What the fuck?
But can you
believe what the restaurant?
That's,
like, ghost kitchens
are one thing.
That's pretty crazy,
right, to like,
make up a fake restaurant
and go on postmate,
whatever.
But this?
Seems criminal.
This is crazy.
I'm curious, are the only targeting women, or is it like women AI also happy men meet them there?
Because if it's just women, then that's kind of also.
That's even more fucked up.
Yeah. It's pretty scary, too.
And on top of that, I think the movie studios are going to get a hold of this and be like, wait a minute.
Let's have our next date night be at this new movie coming out.
Right?
And then you get to the date and you're like, you bought two fucking tickets.
And you get to the date and you're like, well, I guess I'll see it anyways.
So you got to FaceTime your date before you go on a date.
I mean, you're going to meet a date.
But what if fucking chick-fil-A or Red Robin?
What if they create an AI person, like Lil' Michaela or whatever?
And then you're like, FaceTime.
You're like, oh, I can't wait to meet you there.
And she's like, I can't wait to meet you either.
See you then.
And then you're like, oh, wow.
And it's AI.
So maybe just always go for coffee at like your, you know, coffee bean or Starbucks.
Go somewhere like, well-no.
Go somewhere you were going to go anyway.
Go on like a walk.
No, don't do that.
Don't do that.
No, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, don't do that.
Oh, like a dark alley.
But it's only at midnight.
Like, what?
An 11 a.m. stroll at Fryman.
Cute.
That's where people get murdered.
I would never.
Don't do that.
I'm done with all of you.
Wow.
That, that to me is like, I mean, I feel so horrible for her.
That's horrible.
But I hope this video gets 500 billion views.
Like, she deserves it because that is nuts.
I hope there's a part two where she reveals the messages.
I know.
Okay.
I've never gotten more emails in my life.
I even got a text from Lizzie about this.
Check out this video.
Hello.
Chickie, chickies.
Hi, babies.
You ready for some grubs?
Let's go.
It's grub time.
Um, what the...
Oh.
What the fuck?
Why are they all not moving?
What are they looking at?
Did I do something?
Did I do something?
Nick!
I mean...
Oh, what the?
Oh, my God.
That is crazy like this.
there was a demon in their presence that had a chokehold on them.
What the fuck?
What the fuck?
Jared,
I feel like you know about chickens because you know about animals.
Oh, I know a lot about chickens.
And?
I actually, yeah.
As a person who has chickens on their property?
What?
I've never seen this.
You have chickens?
We have chickens.
What?
I've never seen this.
Yeah.
You've never brought me eggs.
And lobsters?
And lobsters and frogs.
Chicken and lobsters.
But I've never seen this kind of activity.
we do have a rooster that has like kind of a pimp walk because he has a fucked up way but i've never
seen that especially that long that's like a long video i thought the lady was goofiness and she
had statues and it's just a fun video but then they started running again and i thought this is
interesting no explanation on the chickens no no it's a glitch that's it you're talking to a chicken
connoisseur right now and i'm telling you i've never seen that right okay so this is crazy so
A long time ago, like four years ago, I did a video talking about DeSani water.
Yeah, I remember that day.
We boiled like seven different brands of water for four hours.
Yeah, we did.
Yeah, we did.
But basically, my theory was that there's salt in it and it dries out your mouth so that you want more and it fizzes, like when you open it.
So there's like a bunch of theories about like Desani being actually like salty water to get you addicted to it, right?
Well, and I'm not saying this is because of me.
I don't think it is.
But what I will say is now they started putting on their bottle salt-free.
No way.
But it's not.
I know.
Literally in the ingredient, salt is there.
No way.
Yes.
So literally you can put anything under your labels.
I guess.
So we don't know what we're consuming ever.
Maybe what they're saying is, yeah, the salt's free.
You know, you buy the water.
Yeah, salt-free.
Salt-free.
Or maybe now it's salt-free?
I know.
I mean-igrated?
We should have.
Oh, I should.
Get a bottle of water.
Well, next episode.
We'll do some investigative journalism.
New name, dishonest, is what they really are.
That's what they are.
Yes.
That was good.
I'm P-Oed.
Wow.
You're H-P-Oed.
All right.
Okay, this is another one I got so many emails about.
Now, we've are, another text from Lizzie.
That's funny.
Is she producing the show?
She is. Sorry, Spencer.
No, so this is from Lizzie.
We've actually already talked about this on the show, I think, or maybe in a video or something, but it's going viral.
Everybody's freaking out because they remember Sinbad starring in a movie called Shazam, and he never actually did.
And then somebody posted what was supposed to be evidence or proof of the movie Shazam starring Sidbad.
But if you zoom in, it's very obviously photoshopped.
They even put Jonathan Taylor Thomas in it, who would never do that movie.
He's very artsy and picky.
Have you guys all seen Shazam?
Yes, starring Shack.
It's Kazam.
Oh, never heard of it.
Someone recently that I know on like a personal level tried to freak me out with this one.
And it's Kazam.
It's a Shaq movie.
Whoa.
Yeah.
Don't you remember what that blew my mind?
But in 2009, because of people thinking that Sinbad was in a movie with the genie in it,
they made a small parody film called Shazam where he does play a genie.
Really?
Yeah.
I've never seen that.
I love Sinbad.
Me too.
Me too.
Where is he?
He needs a fucking comeback.
Yeah, he definitely used.
Let's get him on the podcast.
In a genie outfit.
That would be.
How can you look at that man smiling and laugh in a not just smile and laugh?
Exactly.
It's a hundred a minute's the best.
Um, okay.
So this is another dress situation, but not really.
Oh.
This is, this is pretty interesting, I think.
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So she paints up there and then boom. What? Oh. Is that crazy? What? It's just an optical illusion.
Well, I don't think that it is.
They're painting on two different colors.
So, like, if you're painting on a darker wall,
it's going to have a different color.
Because, like, that's why it is a different.
It's not a different color, though.
Right, but it appears different because if you have a darker wall,
you have to do multiple coats to make sure.
But now that I'm thinking about it,
if you put those two side by side,
would they be the same color?
It's also the lighting, though, too, I think.
I actually think he's taking paint off.
What?
I don't think that's the same color.
You don't?
I don't.
I think that this is a video where it's either in reverse or he's taking, he's cleaning the paint off.
Uh-huh.
Some manipulation going on.
I'm just shook.
I don't know.
I think we need to like, we need to take a screenshot in color test.
Oh, I'm doing it.
This has definitely got us talking, though.
Everyone interpreted the video differently.
Yeah.
See, I thought it was because of the lighting and that, because I agree, it's, it has to do something with the different colors, but also I think lighting has a big thing to do.
I just become weary of TikTok clips.
I just put the colors.
side by side. Okay. They're different. Right? Yeah. Those are not the same. It's because you're
painting on top of something. So what's Jared's theory? It's either in reverse. Well, nothing's
playing now. But you can't just remove paint that. Because look, the two colors that are the same
are the wall on the side and where he's painted on top two times. Okay. That's the same color.
Because look at the part on the side of this little chimney. That's the same color as the
paint that he's putting on the top. And the blue is a different color obviously than that color.
that's on the top.
So you're saying that the cabinet was the blue and was overpainting it with the lighter color.
So the cabinet was blue.
He's painting it with the color on the ceiling.
And he's just basically like if you want.
Yeah, that makes sense.
I mean, dude, this is some tricky shit that they're doing.
Wow.
I don't know how they did it.
I still don't quite get it.
I get what I kind of think I get it, but you are smart.
Okay.
So speaking of colors.
Okay, this is for Sandy.
This is a Disney theory.
So it's not even a theory.
This is like real.
This is confirmed.
I just thought this was interesting.
because I never noticed it before, and I want to see if you noticed it.
Sandy, have you ever heard of Go Away Green?
No.
Okay, so Disney created a color, and they call it Go Away Green, and they use it to hide things.
So they paint this color on cameras, construction zones, trash cans, secret club doors,
or anything that they want you to not see.
So they created a color that was the perfect mixture of green and gray that it will feel.
fade into the color spectrum on your eye and you'll totally miss it.
Is that crazy?
Wow.
Yeah.
So, like, for example, if you look here, behind this building, I mean, I see that.
Yeah, that got to be the biggest thing they get, they paint it.
But it's to blend in.
Yeah, it's to blend in.
But then if you look, okay, so like construction zones, they cover them with these green fences,
which I can see that too, to be honest.
Or like this.
I don't know what they're hiding there.
These are pretty obvious.
Yeah.
The Club 33.
The door is green.
You're supposed to miss it.
You're not supposed to see it.
Maybe it's just so it doesn't stand out
and then it kind of directs your eye line to somewhere else.
They also have something that they call blending blue,
which I had never heard of.
So this is what they do at all theme parks,
not just Disneyland.
So anything they don't want you to see,
they painted this blue color,
but that's pretty obvious.
They're just trying to make it blend into the sky.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I thought that was interesting.
And then I was like, I don't know.
I'm going to watch some Disney vlogs and see if I noticed.
Go away green.
It is crazy how well thought out everything is.
Like I wouldn't put it past Disney
for meticulously planning
every color on every wall.
Yeah. Yeah. You should do for your
vlog. You should go to Disneyland
and search for the green color and like see how many
times you spot it. No, I'm going to. Guys, check it out.
It's already on her channel. In the future.
It's there. Day 13.
Wow. Now you've got to do that. I know.
Yeah. Well, speaking of things
that don't blend in that stand out,
it's time for a recap.
On my camera action
Ryland's recap is about to happen
Ryland's recap
On today's episode of the Shane Dawson podcast
It's 2024
And we're in the presence of our very own
Bear Leopardy
It's me
And his own wife, Zandi Oz
She's handling it well
How are you dealing with his newfound
Bear Levity
Fair Liberty status.
It's definitely getting to his head.
The ego needs to be brought down a notch.
Oh, Chris is going to the Chub Club.
Club Chubbler.
Chris can be seen at any big game event near you.
At any big game event.
I mean, he's flirting with the idea of starting a series
where he rates the gay bars around L.A.
Rylan said that.
I'm like, that's an incredible idea.
You should do that.
I don't know if I do it with you.
Would you?
It's like a straight guy's review of a gay bar as a bear liberty.
That would be amazing.
No, that'd be so bad for my ego.
I don't want to be the sexiest guy in the room, you know?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, Sandy killed us all with her mafia skills.
Oh, new fun segment alert that gets us all riled up.
We're playing mafia and Sandy relentlessly killed us all.
She's not.
No crumbs
No crumbs left on the scene
She ate
Oh, Cece gave birth to travel
In birth alert
Today's episode was very baby heavy
CC is back and real
Not a scam
That's me trying to wink
And has given birth to her very own
Baby Boy
By the time this comes out
You have babies right
And we have babies
Yes
And we have babies
Baby alert
And that's why this was recorded
in 2023
What is that going to be like?
Can you imagine?
We're going to be watching this episode with our babies covering their ears.
You'll be twinning.
Oh, that girl got catfished by restaurant.
In shady news, around the globe, restaurants are catfishing us to enter their establishments with AI,
masking as suitors themselves.
Let's be in porn.
Yeah.
Sandy, take it away.
Break it until they're brushing their hair.
What next?
What next?
In shocking news, straight women love lesbian porn
And just so you know, it's not actually considered gay
What about the painting illusion?
Oh, yeah
Which one was that?
I'm confused too
I stepped butthole to silence farts
Fuck the painting butthole farts
Come on, step it with tissues
The yaw brothers draw the line
at putting tissue in their ass to mask farts,
but they will fold up toilet paper to avoid swaps.
Is that why your mafia paper was so crinkled up?
What?
Because I was using it in my butt?
No.
That's where that paper went.
But no, because you're used to doing that.
Yeah, a little bit, maybe.
Oh, dude, the guy with the gay son.
Heartworm, probably the most heartwarminging vagina we've ever experienced.
But the guy heartwormed us.
In the most heartwarming news that we've ever received on this podcast, a gentleman has let us know that we have been a great example for his son who has recently come out as gay.
Thank you and keep being gay.
That means a lot too because in this same episode, we actually had someone who had a kid.
Yeah.
So that's pretty impactful.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
We're bringing two heartwarming experiences in this episode.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So get your grower merch.
You know?
Are we ready to get out of it?
Let us know in the comments.
Do you want snail trail?
What was it?
Snailing?
Yeah.
Well, shout out to your newly gay son,
and we're so proud that we can help.
Yeah, Jimmy.
Get rid of the stigmas.
All right, Riley, wrap it up.
All right.
Thank you guys so much for watching and supporting our show.
Sorry, I forgot what show I was even on.
You know what?
It's bad brain.
It's dad brain.
No, thank you guys so much.
I hope you're having.
having a great new year.
Make sure you shop all of the Shane Dawson merch.
It's Shane Dossonmerch.com.
I know that you already watched all of Sandy's vlog miss,
but if you haven't, you can go watch the entire playlist that's on her channel.
Chris also has a YouTube channel.
Jared also has a YouTube channel.
Everyone's links in the description section below.
Make sure you're subscribed to the Shane Dosson podcast on all audio platforms and here on YouTube.
And we'll see you here again in two weeks, right?
Or are we on maternity leave?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Or dad leave.
Fraternity leave
All right
Right
Yeah there you go
Fraternity leave
Broth
Thank you so much
And we'll see you next time
On the Shane Dawson podcast
Yay
Yes
All right guys go
Thank you Riley
It's amazing
The first recap
Of the new year
A really rough start
If that's you
No it was good
Okay
Well there guys go
Hopefully you enjoyed
Whatever the hell
That was
24 edition
Thank you guys
For letting us
Help you start
The New Year off right
And yeah
Let us know in the comments
If you watch
lesbian porn as a woman
Yeah, and if you squirrel
Or what is it?
Snail! Squirreling is a good one.
You know what? Just leave a comment saying
Happy New Year.
I'll watch you guys next time.
Bye!
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