The Shane Dawson Podcast - Conspiracy Theories and CHRIS BOYFRIEND & JERID WIFE REVEAL!!!!

Episode Date: February 13, 2023

In todays episode Shane and the guys are joined by some VERY SPECIAL GUESTS!! Jerid’s wife Sandy and Chris’s boyfriend!! We played our version of The Newlywed Game that causes lots of chaos and uncomfortable moments. We also dive deep into some NEW theories that BLEW OUR MINDS! Hold on to your candy hearts and strap in for the wildest Valentines Day of your life!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There is a fungus that in the forest attaches itself to an ant. And then it slowly eats the ant from the inside out. Shut the fuck. So it literally turns the ant into a zombie. The first stage is twitching. The second stage is wandering away. And then the last stage is dying and being a breeding ground for mushrooms. So the last of us is about that.

It's about what would happen if the fungus did that to human. You look like a young lesbian golfer You have a pretty face I'm not afraid of a mom's sweater My favorite looks is young lesbian golfer Hitting on me right in front of your wife Okay are we all good? Depends on what good is Get your gay face on

What? Your gay face? Put your gay face? I think we are gay face You're gay face. What's my gay face? Okay, welcome back to whatever the hell this is. Valentine's Day edition. This is a lot. I don't know where to start.

We have a ghost face. We have a Jared's wife. We have a gay Christian. Let's start with a ghost face in the room just so we can address. Address what? So, oh my God, this is like such a moment. Why am I nervous? Maybe because ghost face is sitting at me with a knife.

Oh, my God. So aggressive. Okay, so Chris is... This is so weird, your boyfriend is here. Can I say that? I can say that, right? Yes, you can say that. Oh my God, Chris's boyfriend is finally here.

Nice. Now, Chris's boyfriend, you know, has to hide his identity for reasons, none of which are murder. Woo! Wait, well, maybe. Okay, yes, so we've hidden your identity in a very interesting way. We've put you in a ghost face mask and costume, and we've given you a very high-tech. voice changer Chris you're controlling it do you want to try

the monster one yeah give it a try just say hello hello okay so you're in the laugh we could sell that that laugh is good ringtone dude the laugh sounds crazy

okay so you're in the ghost face master we only refer to you as ghost face today because we're not going to use your real name that's good how are you feeling A little different. Chris, are you nervous? I don't know. I feel pretty normal, actually.

Oh, and Chris, you're wearing a ghost face on your shirt. Yeah, to show support. How romantic. Lovers. Yeah. Who, okay. Jared. Yes.

So your wife, my sister-in-law? Yeah, she's wearing a mask of the most beautiful woman in the world. It's too cute. It's disgusting. But yeah, Sandy, my wife, very excited. I'm very excited. I mean, we don't have matching ghost face shirts, but this will do. And then obviously, I'm here with Rylan.

We're not even sitting next day at each other. He has like these romantic setups and he's like, stay far away from me. Well, no, I think we'll have a less chance of fighting if we're sitting far away. We're going to fight. We're definitely going to fight. Okay, so first of all, Chris, should we play a little bit with the voice change? to see if we can find ghost face's voice yes i think so what are the options so this is number one the deep one uh let's get a hello again say and then here's uh number two can you count to

five for me one two four that is so scary can you tell us your favorite thing about chris in that voice oh it's going to be hard for him it's not a lot to like there's not a lot to See something. You know what it sounds like to me? Do you remember the voice that they would use on to catch a predator and like talk to the fucking perverse? Where it was like,

you can meet me with the piece of the house? Oh, did you bring protection? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, what are the other options? Then there's three, which is higher, I think. What's your favorite thing about Chris?

This one, it's cute. That depends. On what? Yeah, on what? What is your favorite thing to do with Chris? Oh. Okay, that actually does bring me to my first main question. I think I would say the deeper goes back.

No offense to the high voice. It's great. My first main question is, where's the line today? Because I have a lot of questions for the game that I made, which is kind of a newlywed type game. We'll get to that. But what's the line? There's no line.

my brother, you're my sister-in-law, this is weird. Like, should I avoid certain things? There's certain triggers you guys might fight about. I don't want to cause divorce. I think we're good. Let's just run with it. I'm good. We'll see.

You think you have that power to cause divorce? There's only one thing causing divorce. And everybody knows what it is. What? If you lose. What are your thoughts on Jared, on this whole podcast thing? Like, Jared doing this. Jared talking about being a grower.

There's a lot of things on this show that are very, very intense and weird. How do you feel about it? It's not very much different from how he normally is. And Jared is very blunt just in life as well. So even my family, I mean, we're just all used to it. You guys are talking about growing at dinner? No, but, but, no.

But there have been situations, I'm sure, where Jared brought very, you know, inappropriate conversations, and they just go with it. I mean, you know, we're all open and honest. Oh, that just reminded me, did I tell you that my dad didn't know that were growers? and showers? No fucking wait,

dude, I would have sworn that your dad knew. My father learned from the show. Wait, wait, does he not,

hold on. I just thought every guy knew. Doesn't he, wouldn't he know if you were a baby and he was changing your dipies? But I guess he just,

like, I don't know the terminology. He just thought you were assaulted. What did you tell? I laughed and he was like, I didn't even know that was the thing

until the podcast and I was like, wow, I'm glad we're educating my father about different things. That's, that's dope,

dude. That's a great segue because Ghostface, I have some questions for you. Because this is your first time on the show, and Chris is finally revealing kind of his boyfriend. Can you guys say how you met? I feel like people want to know how you met,

like how long you've been together, you know, the basics. I think we can talk about it. Do you want to say? Do you want me to say it? Oh, I want ghost face to say it. He's never, yeah. Say some of it. You too nervous?

Oh, nervous ghost face is so sexy. Until he turns around and kills us That's what makes it sexier Wow, okay This is too much It was first Chris And now you're coming out to ghost face Relax

I mean what What happened was we like Years ago Like talked on Do you remember a periscope? No Yes There's a live stream thing

Yeah it was a live streaming app And I went on there And I just like was obsessed with that app And then I saw that you could title it anything And I started titling all my things Ask a Gay Guy Anything And I'd get people from like, the weather was like Argentina or Istanbul or like, you know, all over the place coming in and like having questions for a gay guy. And some people like couldn't fathom someone being openly gay in their country and some really sweet messages.

And one person was like, I actually lived not that far from you, but I could never imagine being openly gay where I am. Like the environment I'm in, the people I know this and that, like are quite homophobic, right? Like you were saying. And I'm so shook. I didn't know any of this. Wait, keep going. Keep going, yeah. How did you think about on Periscope?

Does it ever happen before? When did you guys meet? 20 years ago? When was Periscope? But, thank you, dude. 2010? It was a while ago. What you mean on MySpace?

But yeah, so it was just like one of those things where I like felt for this stranger who was like, I can't be openly gay where I am. And I'm like, that's not okay. You're especially in California. What do you mean you can't be able to be gay? And then I was like, there's laws against this. And I started getting really heated about it. And he'd be like, yeah, but laws don't prevent everyone in your workplace from

making you feel awful and not feeling well. You know what I mean? Things like that. And we just got on these deep conversations and I just kept being like, I'm rooting for you from afar. And then like when he got his first, uh, is my love to say? When he got his first boyfriend, like I was like, oh, good for you. Like, oh my God, I'm so proud of you. And like we just like would check in once in a while. And then we both got cheated on like a couple months or something apart from each other. And like bonded over that. And, and like, and like, we. And like, we. And like, we. Yeah, I don't know. He was just like, I also was like sort of like very much gaslit into believing I couldn't talk to anyone when bad things happened in my relationship. Like, he'd be like, oh, don't tell your mom because then she'll look at me differently. Don't tell you're right. I shouldn't tell that. I need to keep that. I need to keep that. You know, that's dirty laundry. I need to keep that between us. So by the time the like breakup happened, I was like literally sobbing outside in the rain, not allowed back in my apartment. And I like didn't know what to do. And it felt like a weird loophole to like talk to a stranger. So I, like, reached out and I'm like, I don't know what to do. And, like, that's, like, kind of how we started talking. Well, didn't you offer for Chris to come stay there while they were figuring out what to do with the, like,

because your ex was living in the apartment that you weren't allowed in. So then you guys had, like, a living together rendezvous. Well, okay. So then my next follow-up question is, how do we know that you're not a psychopath? Well, obviously, look at it. He hasn't killed Chris yet. Are you guys in love? Would you say that you love each other?

Wow. Would you? He said, for still being together, yeah. Yes. Yes, we would. Okay, good. Is there, like, marriage happening, or? It's pretty quick. Is there married? I don't make it very far.

I want a yes or no answer. Wait, so have you guys been together long? Less than a year, a year. Who said, I love you first? Chris. I think it was used him. That's what I. When did it happen?

You guys have only been together like a year. It was pretty quick. You know, love a first sight, Jared. I like it. I mean, at first sight. Well, the fact that neither of you know the answer is not a good sign for what we're about to do. Play the newlywed game. Kind of.

You guys have been together for, what, 20 years? About 13 years. We've known each other 20 years. Yeah. But we've been together about 13 years. Okay. Well, we're newlyweds and you guys are almost wed. Okay, so here's how the game's going to work.

I have a lot of questions. So before I get to the rules of the game, I should talk about the prizes and punishments. So the winners of this game will get something very specific because we're all playing in teams. There's Jared and Sandy, Chris and Grossface, and me and Ryland. We're on teams together? I thought we were against each other. No, we're together, but we are kind of against each other, but our points go together. Like marriage.

Okay, so the prizes. So I got Intel from each of the spouses. about what your partner likes and what they don't like, to help me with the prizes and the punishment. So Jared, we'll start with you. For Sandy, you told me that she liked hiking, whole foods, and that she also liked Terry Chang acupuncture in Pomona, California.

We have $100. No way. That's not true. Okay. So that's what you're fighting for. Yes. Your punishment, we're going to get to those later because they're very intense and everybody has one. And they're very specific to each person.

Do we only get them if we lose? Let's talk about your prize. So you've been wanting a neon blue Lamborghini Yaris. Okay. Okay. You're going to get me a Yaris if I win? I am. It's a fucking Hot Wheels.

I'm getting you a Yaris. For one day. It's a rental. Nice. You can drive it around. You can take pictures in it. Wow. We're fucking winning,

you losers. And ghost face. When I asked Chris what you like, he sent me a lot of things. He said that you liked barbecue. He said that you like truck shows. He said you like a lot of things. But one thing that he said specifically is

a bottle of McCallon Highland single malt Scotts whiskey, 12 years age. Yes. Aasty. So that's what Ghostface is fighting for. I found a flaw in your game, though.

You've already got the prices. So if they don't win, you're just going to be like, it's mine. And the punishments are horrible, but we're going to save those until the end. Hey, okay, sorry to interrupt the show, but I have to give some shoutouts to my favorite sponsors ever. And the first one is Buffy. So obviously I've talked about Buffy a million times before,

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So thank you so much to Buffy for sponsoring the episode and for just being a friend of the podcast and the show and just I don't know. I just love you guys. So please go check them out Buffy.co, not dot com, and use code grower for 20% off of your order. All right, enjoy the rest of the show. So here's what we need to do before we start the game We need to figure out a word for sex Because I don't want to keep asking questions I have the word sex in it With like my brother here and his wife

It's a lot So on these shows they usually say like Making Whoopie or you know Do they like beating cheeks That doesn't sound much better Bumpin uglies I like beating cheeks Beating cheeks

That's better That would be like more family table More dinner table talk Yeah we also need to figure out team names. But the first team that's going to answer questions is Rylan Ghostface and Sandy. Second team is me, Jared, and Chris.

So that's how it works. So that's how it works. So me, Jared, and Chris, we need like a team name so we know who's answering the question. Do we have an idea? Oh, the growers. There it is. Yeah. It has to be. Okay, the growers. Yeah. So Rylan, Sandy and Ghostface, do you guys have any similar qualities that you could bond over? Yeah, we all

have growers. Yes. Have them. The holders. The farmers? The what did you say? The farmers? Because we make them grow. Oh, my God. That's amazing.

Wow. That was incredible. The farmers. Okay. So who should. Wow. Okay. So let's start with the farmers.

So the farmers pick up your dry erase boards. So how it works is I'm going to ask a question to the farmers. and you guys are going to write down your answers, and us, the growers, are going to try to guess what your answer is going to be. Don't show each other. And then, obviously, we'll reveal the answers, and whoever is matching will get a point.

Does that make sense? Beautiful. I'm guessing what he's going to answer? Yes. Okay. I'm slow. I need explanation. And we're going to,

they're going to guess what we're going to write. Yes. See, I'm not the only one who do. It is confusing. It took me a long time to figure out how the fuck this works. You have to make a family tree of how this game is. Okay. Get ready.

for the newlywed game. Kind of, don't sue me. Okay, I'm going to start with like a very simple, basic question that'll get us all warmed up, and then it'll get progressively scarier and worse. Question number one, and this is for the farmers. Where was your first kiss and who initiated it? And now the growers, we have to guess what they're going to say. Okay, everybody good?

Let's start, okay, let's start with Ryland. Where was our first kiss and who initiated it? Shane's couch, first date, me. I put laying on the couch, Ryan! Yay, you go. I'm so happy you said that because I thought you were going to say, you initiated it because you don't like taking responsibility for things like that. But it was you, right?

No, I was very aggressive, and we dry humped the whole night. Oh. Hey. Nothing else happened. Oh, damn, now we know the answer for the first time we dry humped. You know what I will say is, you know, like we were dry-humping and stuff, and then I had to go pee. And then when I got it to go pee, I came back and he was like, no, I'm done. It's over. Well, yeah, I didn't, you know, I was like, we have something good going here.

We're not going to spoil at all in one night. Let's leave some mystery. I think peeing is like, you know, maybe you can get back to business, but a fart will kill it. 100% a fart destroys the moment. You have farted before that? We did together a long time. I can't imagine I haven't farted at one point. Oh, my God.

But not like, I wasn't trying, like, oh, you want to hear this fart? Maybe they're just like, oops. Oh, my God. It slipped out. Or I just know it would. How about that? Just like oops. Okay.

Sandy, let's see what your answer was. Okay, so I put Tahoe, Jared, and after his show. Oh. In my car behind a hotel, she was staying in. Whoa. Me. Wait, so are those right? No.

But what was that for your show? Yeah. Yeah, but I mean, it was where was it? And it was in my car, me. After the show. We gave extra information. It was after the show behind the hotel. Let me see.

Tahoe. So it was in Tahoe in your car. No, in his Tahoe. The car was a Tahoe. Oh. How about this? How about this? I thought it was like Lake Tahoe.

Yeah. Oh, not that fan. How about this? In my car. Me. Perfect. God. Good job, you guys.

Wow, this is nerve wracking because you guys, if you don't get it right, you're the only one. I mean, it was very recent, right? I mean, like, within a year, if you don't know, like, whoa. I have a really bad memory. Ghostface, reveal your answer. Where was it? The beach. I can't see.

And it was you. The beach and you. Okay, Chris, what did you put? The beach here. Cute. You guys have the fanciest location for sure. This is a good start. I feel good about this.

Let's ruin it. Okay, so team growers. Yes. What was our first fight? our first big fight about I know what I actually I think I know what it was I feel like we don't have the same answer if yours was so easy to write

oh mine was very easy to remember we're just oh shit I definitely lost this one okay well let's see so first fight well we'll go last Jared what was your first fight about I believe it was in regards to I was just sleeping in too late on a regular basis there's also a time difference because when we first

started dating she was living in like somewhere three hours ahead. So I think that was like the first thing. It was like kind of annoying that maybe I was sleeping in too late and I don't know. Very safe answer. That was very good. I didn't know. So I said he snores.

It had to do with me sleeping. Did you guys ever get in like a fight about that though? Him snoring? Yeah. As of recently. Not a fight. Really? But it's because if I can't sleep before he does, he'll just snore all night and

and I'm not a fan of it. I can't sleep. I just kick him. Oh no, I do. kick him and then one night in particular I had to wake up really early so I pretty much told him if you don't knock it off you got to sleep on the couch just until I fall

asleep and he just moved around and made sure he stopped snoring but how do you do that how do you make sure he stopped snore and it's impossible just luck I had to get it like three hours later so I had to get some sleep okay so no points for you guys yeah Chris

what was your first fight about I don't remember exactly but I think it was something some like political thing, debate, something about politics. I don't remember exactly, but that's what was my guess. I didn't even get there from him. He didn't even write anything.

He had no idea. We haven't had big fights. I don't believe that. I mean, we have some pretty good ones, but I don't know what's in the first though. Oh, well, that's what I like doing. Because there's been too many. No.

Wow. Chris seems like a fighter to me. I'm very passionate. You literally told me you guys were fighting while you're watching a show. Oh, that's true. But that's what kind of silly. It's about a show. But they're not like big fights.

What's been your worst fight? Probably the show. I don't know. Probably the show. Okay, interesting. Well, I said our worst fight, now I feel scared because if you didn't put this, this is like a lot.

I probably did. Okay, I put that I told people that you had sex like a woman. I said Shane running his mouth about our sex life to his friends. Yes, that's the point. To be more specific about it. One of my friends asked how it was to be bisexual and to be, you know, with you and how is it different to me with the girl.

And then I said, well, honestly, it's kind of the best of both worlds because you're a guy, but you know, you're very stomach. You have like a little girl body and kind of, but that's not bad. And he got so mad. We got to an actual. Well, he was going into such details with people that I just like, it's, and listen, I talk about my whole life on the internet, but it felt. different because they were, I don't know, I just, I didn't like it. It rubbed me the wrong way. It was bad. He walked out on me at a restaurant and then I followed him and we were like standing on a, like, on the street corner. It was awful. And yeah, he was like really upset and I was like almost crying and then it was a whole thing. And I thought we were done.

We've never been back to that restaurant. No, we haven't. Wow, we get a point. Okay, so this is for the farmers. This one is getting more aggressive. What's one change to your partner's appearance that would turn you off? I don't think I understand that. You literally went on a whole rant about my sideburns being horrible. Yeah, but you fixed that already, so I can't put that. Oh, so are you saying just something to turns her off about me?

No, something you could do. Well, I don't want to be offensive. It's okay. I don't think it is. I hope I did the right thing. Sandy, what's one thing that if Jared changed, you would not like? Get skinny arms. Okay, interesting choice.

My goal, but okay. Grew a ponytail. I'd imagine she wouldn't like that. No. Right? But it's right. You could grow a ponytail, right? Yeah, in his beard.

Yeah. Well, not in my beard on the back, because I grow hair like a donut, you know? Like, it's just not on the top. You should do that. I can grow. You should grow a ponytail. Yeah, for sure. Well, Sandy, would you like that?

Uh, no. See, so I was right. I was right. Okay, so no points, but I'm glad that we know. But we agree. There you go. Okay. Ghostface. What is one thing that if Chris changed you and like?

change you and like. What is it? Get fat. No, I'll still be with them, though. Oh, that's sweet. Chris, what did you put? I put if my nose grew, because he's not into big noses. It's not into big anything.

I thought it was going to be shaved face because he didn't like when you shaved your face. That's true too. Oh. That's true too. How fat would Chris have to get for you to not like him? For you to leave me. Oh, I see. And why?

Is that just not attractive or do you think it was just... Too much caution in between. Okay. I see. It's more logistical thing. Um, okay. Too much work. Right.

Right. What is one thing that I'm scared? What is one thing that if I change you would like? Well, listen, and this is going to happen to both of us. But I'm saying, if you came home, if you came home with it like out of the blue like tomorrow if you came home with your head shaved because I would think I'd be like looking at Jared you know it'd be like yeah keep going how I'd be like I'd be like I'd be like no I'd just be like am I having sex with Jared or shame

okay so so shaved head oh okay interesting I put well I started with shaving my arms and then I went I changed and I put painting my nails because you don't like that. Yeah, it does give me the ick for some reason. Oh, so none of us are. Dude, I was going to say, if one of us got that, they automatically win. That was a very, I've never even thought of that. So for us to get that right, that would have been cool. God, okay, so that was good.

That was almost a fight. It got me close. With a fight with Riley. Well, no, Shane and I are both going to lose our hair. We're hanging on for dear life with finestra red. Which, okay, this one's kind of gross. The question is, where is the crazy? wildest, most obscene place

we've ever beat cheeks with our partner. Is it full-blown cheek beatery? Or could it be like Yeah, no, I'm curious too because I feel like there's been a lot of awkward crazy places but not full-blown sex. Okay, then let's

say it's, yeah. What's the craziest place you would jack? You've got to talk. I would say either beat cheeks bumped cheeks kissed cheeks anything

we're involved let's start with me and Ryland so obviously we both said a plane yes I did not know that was illegal is it actually

but does that count if you basically announced it out loud before you wrote it down well we both knew I just thought he would get mad at me because I said it in a vlog once and he made me cut it I say rigged

I did in the argument that I want to win i say rig as well let's see if we got a point if not then yeah definitely right okay jared sandy driving i've got behind of that dental office across from hugo's wow being very specific but damn i was thinking about that you didn't get a point it's very i think it's a dental office sometimes it was in a car it was in a car but i mean okay wow what like what time a day at night yeah oh ever in a car in motion uh not full cheek beatery yeah yeah Yeah, but, you know, there's jizzle pop going around.

Isn't it the worst? Jizzle pop. I put a film set, a client rented out. Ooh, scandalous. What client? I was saying. I was worried about the two of you in this house tonight. That's a fair.

Roadside. Oh, Roadside. The Roadside Grill? Oh, okay. So that's not a match, but what film set? What are you talking about? Like in a movie set?

Kind of. You didn't know I would put that. Were you not afraid that there was hidden cameras everywhere? I thought about it, but it didn't, you know. It can't be trusted. Eyes on Christo. Wow, wow. Okay, wow.

Okay, this is going better. Next question. Okay, this is for the farmers. What is the most annoying? habit your partner has. Something they do that makes you fucking want it. If you don't think of this, I'm never going to let you get mad at me for this ever again

because I'm like, well, it must not be that bad if you can think of it during the match game. Sandy, are you ready? I don't feel good about it, but I'm ready. Okay, what is the most annoying habit Jared has? He's very tidy. What? Very tidy. What? What?

What? Fuck. I almost said that. Damn it. To the point where you can't leave anything in his car before you leave. Wow. And are you messy? I'm not messy. No, I'm just not as tidy as he is. Oh, so you're messy.

You're messy. For sure. She's comfortable in a mess, you know, is the way I put it. Like where I can't be around like messy stuff and enjoy myself. You know, I need a piece. Is it a cancer thing? A grower thing? I put my hair in the sink.

Oh, yeah. Like when I cut my hair? Because that's really the only thing I can think about. I don't know. Ghostface? Overtinking. I mean, that's deep. Yeah, this is, I mean, I kind of put that.

I put easily spiral slash panic. I would say that's a point. Yeah. That would be a family few points. We go. Wow. So what do you do when he starts panicking about something that you think is like stupid? What do you think?

No, I just come to chill out. That's time to chill out. A lot of times it doesn't work, which doesn't work, telling someone to chill out when they're panicking does not work. Do you just give them some brisket? A brisket, hot dog? Okay, Rylan. You blast the AC all fucking day. That's luxurious.

That's good. That's amazing. Mine was picking my toenails. Oh, God. Oh, God. That's an ick. It's a lick. But that's not as often.

I'm thinking of like regular occurrences. Like you don't turn off lights and you blast the AC. Damn, he just added more to it. I was got a list. I don't think he's ever turned off a bathroom light to save his life. I bet that fucking vanity light is on upstairs right now. It is.

What? Are you mad that I didn't guess it right? Well, that too, yeah. I really want to win. Of course I want to win. You guys are already leading. But he couldn't pick up his most annoying habit. Yeah.

Okay, I'm so excited. We have two more sponsors for this episode, and they're both brand new. So this is very exciting. Thank you to the sponsors and thank you to you guys for supporting the show and for supporting the sponsors, because now this is just really cool. I was not expecting to have new ones this year. So I'm excited. Okay, let's get to it.

So our first new sponsor today is Seekek. Also, before I get into it, I'm very hyper today. I film this a couple days after we filmed the episode. I don't know what's going on. I had a lot of coffee. I apologize. If my energy is too much for you at the moment, I get it. Maybe watch this at 0.25 speed because then that'll make me more tolerable. Okay, anyways, back to the ad.

So you guys know about Seekkeek. They've been around for a long time. So many YouTubers have talked about them. They actually sponsored one of my conspiracy series back in the day. They are the number one rated ticketing app. So just a few things about them in case you don't know. They have over 28 million downloads. And they have more than 70,000 events every single day on Seekek.

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But also it's just like fun to like look at what's going on and look at like how expensive some of these are. Side note, I spent like two hours on it last night just going through concerts and being like, damn! I was like, damn, Taylor! But anyway, it was like $3,000 and I was like, not a good deal. Thankfully, Seekek let me know the big red. Every ticket is backed by their buyer guarantee and Seek is the only site that lets you return your tickets ahead of the event with swaps. So I'll have a link in the description of this video, click on that, download the app, and use code Shane for $20 off. So thank you so much, C-Geek, for sponsoring this episode.

Welcome to our podcast. I hope this ad was okay. I hope you're not afraid of me that my energy was too much. I promise, I'll tone it down next time. Okay, sorry, get back to the rest of the show. I'll leave you alone. Bye. Okay.

Last question. Who starts the most fights? Is starting fights the same as pushing buttons? Yes. Yeah. Okay. But then they can twist it on you and be like, to start it.

That's gaslighting. Is that what you're not? Who gaslights more? I thought when you gaslight there, I don't know. To make someone question the reality. See, here's the funny thing is, I don't know what his answer is going to be,

but you want to win really bad. So you're probably going to write what you think I'm going to say, and then you're going to fight about it and just agree. But anyways, okay. Are you guys giving each other the answers again early? Dude, there's a whole lot of Tom Bullery on this shit. Ryland, I think we're on the same page. Are you giving me a hint, Paige?

Why are you taking secret words for me? Damn it. Jared. Who starts the most fights? Sandy. Duh. You agree. Well, I'm with right.

Yeah, I'm going to write what I think he's in her. Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, who do you really think starts the most fights? I mean, I wouldn't say something if I wasn't triggered by anything. Oh. Technically. What are your fights about? I don't think we really have that much of, like, the little fights anymore.

I think now it's just irritations, like when you left the stove on all night. Oh, good. Yes, I did. I made a couple of tequitos. I forgot I left the stove on and I fell asleep. Okay. But other than, no huge fights. Yeah.

And that was today. They were good? Is it off? It's off now. Yeah, yeah. We made sure it was off before we left. But yeah. That's my biggest thing.

Chris, who starts the most fights? If you don't say you. A hundred percent him without a shadow of a doubt. Wow. That's the answer of a person who starts all the fights. That's, who doesn't give up? Is that gaslighting? That's gaslighting.

What you just did is gaslighting. You guys aren't even in sync to win the game. Wait, I'm so confused. I thought you guys never even fight. Yeah. No, big fight. Oh, big fight. The one big fight was all.

was all uh ghost face so ghost face what makes chris start fights that's smallest things possible sometimes but there's more fights though do you think he chooses does he start fights because he likes making up or does he like causing you to know he's just very passionate about certain things i hate fighting i don't believe that i do i don't think you fight a lot ghost face no not that much no okay that's good Okay. No, but to be in his defense a little bit, I am very sensitive. I am. But like, who'll say things that are crazy? Like, who... Uh-oh. Give us an example. Like what?

Like, well, again, like, right now being like, I'd leave you if you were fat, that happened earlier today. Like, that's a pretty... And he always goes, oh, it's just a joke. And I'm like, that's not a... That's not funny. There's nothing funny about... But, like, he'll do stuff like that in regular life. If, like, if Rylan said, like, oh, if you were any taller, I couldn't be with you. How would you feel? I mean, I say equivalent. I will say our, one of our other, not our first fight, but probably our second, I was like, I don't, or maybe I started it.

Maybe I am the gas lighter. I started by talking about, like, I was like, I was convinced you weren't attracted to me. I'm like, how are you not, how are you talking to me? I don't believe you. For years? Yeah. I would say years. I would say for quite a while.

But then because I asked you, I'm like, well, if you, if you would have seen me on, you know, Tinder or Grindr or any of these things without knowing me or having a mutual friend, would you have said yes? And you said no. Did I? Yes. You're like, well, you weren't typically my type, but I can't believe that I didn't give you. But people that are on those apps are not really going for, I don't know. My problem with these apps in general are you don't actually, like, there, you don't know if there's a connection with a person until, like, you're in person with a person and there's undeniable chemistry. Like, you can't really tell based on looks like anything could be my type, you know?

Well, I can relate to Shane because when I met Jared, I thought that he was more into what society thought was, like, pretty, like super thin and, you know, so I never thought he would be attracted to me. So that's interesting. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So she tried to set me up with her friend. I did. No. What?

Stole my phone number from her and hit me up. She wasn't even really using it. She wasn't even really using it. She sent me up with some chick. I didn't even want to like, she's very beautiful and whatnot, but not my type. Right. And so I was being nice so I can get to her friend. Well, and then we went on like a double date.

And I think most of the night it was just me and you just laughing the whole time. Oh, my God. This is like a movie movie. This is cute. Yeah, it was almost 20 years ago. Whoa. Yeah. Here we are.

Losing. Who did you usually date? Were you into redheads? I actually was always attracted to Caucasian, like white guys, but I had only dated Mexicans. Oh, interesting. Yeah. And how was it to be with the white for the first time? I think over all around, I think it was better than I expected.

I grew on you. Well, the whole time, Jared was like... It took a second. Yeah. The whole time, Jared was like, get with the white guy, you know? Like, we're more patient, we're calm. And the whole time, we just wanted me to go out with him. He was obsessed.

Very much so. That's so cute. Okay, I guess we need to do our answers. Who starts most fights? I said, Ryland. Yeah. For sure. Wow.

But do you believe that? Oh, yeah, of course. I mean, yeah. I'm aware. Well, listen, I like to start play fights. I did stop with the actual passive-aggressive fights. Like, when I felt alone with the animals, I'd be like, maybe Shane will take you out. I stopped doing that, and if I want something from you, I'll just ask you.

That's his passive-aggressive thing, is he'll go, like, he'll talk to the animals and he'll want me to do it. That's a solid move, dude. But I stopped doing it. It wasn't effective. It didn't work. So now I just say, Shane, go take the animals out. Hey, Uno, is Shane excited to take you for a walk? No, I know you're never going on a walk with those dogs.

See, I'll just be like, oh, yeah, Walter, did Mom leave stuff all over the place? I'll tell him, like, please don't say that. He's like, I'm just kidding. We're just talking to each other. I was like, okay. Oh, so currently we have four. So we're in the lead. There's no coming back.

And you guys are tied with two. You would think that. But the final question is worth four points. So this is anybody's game. Whoever wins this question will get four points. Now this one is a thinker. Oh, no. Oh, shit.

It's not a thinker, but this one could start a war. Oh. Because I don't even know. I really don't know the answer to this. So this is a question for the farmers. If a billionaire came to you and said, I'm going to write a check whatever amount you want

because I want to fuck your spouse what amount would you say this to we're not all going to get the same amount like is any couple going to get the same dollar amount maybe that's why it's the bonus all or nothing question

this should be worth like a thousand points oh whoever's the closest whoever's the closest if a billionaire came to you and said Rylan I want to fuck Shane so bad What do I need to never work again? So wait, how much would Sandy take to let someone fuck me? Yes, a billionaire.

Wait, what would God think, though? Ooh, I don't want to piss off God. Stop it. Don't bring God into this. I don't know. Just think God will be there. And so will I. I mean, the real question is, would you, yeah, would you let your partner fuck somebody else?

I've already written my answer just to throw it out there. I'm curious what she says. Wait, if I are we talking, Jeff. Bezos, Elon. Well, now I'm scared, though, because I really don't want the universe to get mad at me. Stop it! Take shit off the minute. I'm like, wait, I don't want the universe to get mad.

But, like, I do have a number. Okay, guess the number I would guess. Okay. Or just, yeah, guess my number. So the farmers, let's start with Ghostface. How much money would you let a billionaire give you to fuck Chris? Take 50 million. I love that

Wow Hell yeah 50 million Chris is like Chris What'd you write What'd you write? He said none Huh

What's 20 million It looks like 26 But You value yourself less I'm real That's cute That's cute though Okay no point

But that was really I'm sorry Sandy How much money Would it take For Elon to fuck Jared I think Jared is going to

right, no sex. He won't be into it. Oh. I ain't into it. Oh, you guys. Because I don't, yeah, there's a lot of reasons. At first I would never do it. Right.

But there's no amount of money that I wouldn't do it. Oh, that's so cute. You're strong. But if there's any billioners out there that actually are fucking serious, no bullshit. Holler at me, DM me. Okay, now once again, before I show my answer, I have to say once again, I'm trying to.

I'm trying to match you. Okay, fine. I personally would never like this happen. Okay. Okay. So this is not a real answer. Okay. So, Ryan, you go first.

80 million. Oh. So you think 80 million, that's it. That's all you need. I think I'm not greedy. My beach house is like 20 and I have the rest to live for the rest of my life. Okay. Well, I think we won because I think we're closer because my answer was 100 million.

Sorry God. Well, no, they were exactly the same. Oh. I was like, wow. Right. Okay, well, they got the point. You got greedy with it. What do you mean?

Sorry, God. No, because I would never do this. I would never do this. Because he wants you to get that $40 million beach house, Riland. Yes. I thought $100 million would have been your number. Wow. Oh, my God.

Okay, so what are the final scores? Me and Rialin have four. Chris and Ghostface have two. And Jared and Sandy have six. You don't know how nervous I was. We had to win. I had to win this. I'm so happy.

Your relationship was on the line. Thank you. Very much so. Congratulations. So that means that you get the Terry chain. And you know what? Just because it's a family show and we all just love each other, we're all going to get our prizes.

Except for Rylan. Well, honestly, I looked into it and even just to rent the Yars for a day, it's like $1,400. Wait, you're not doing that for me? I was going to say that... Be it, bitch. I know.

I was going to say we could do it, but then I'm like, no, I'm not going to do it. But maybe, maybe. No, I'll still do it for you. Just buy me one. Okay. Go fuck a billionaire. And many are watching.

Serious inquiries. only. Now it's time for the punishment. While somebody's grabbing ghost face's punishment, Sandy, even though you won, I really want you guys to hear your punishment because I tried really hard on it. So Jared said, I said, what does Sandy not like? And Jared said, well, she doesn't like Carl's Jr. But she also doesn't like techno music and she doesn't like cows. Yes. So I put together a techno song featuring cows just for us. That was amazing. Really a prize for us.

Okay, the punishment for Rylan. So you hate styrofoam. You're kidding me But I didn't want to make a mess Because I didn't want to trigger Jared So we don't have real styrofoam here But instead I did put together this Don't take your head on top

Ew So that was your punishment And unfortunately Ghostface, you got the worst punishment. The stinkiest punishment. Chris said that there is nothing you hate more than Curry.

So we have here and you only have to do a lick or a bite. But Chris can feed it to you like a baby. Can I see that? What is it look like? What is that? Oh, okay. I don't want to make it worse, but it looks like animal fecal matter.

Are you going to do it together? Oh my God. in the tramp style this wouldn't be a punishment for me I love curry you you look like the kind of guy right now that would want to feed a man like this and that leopard get up wow this is he really did it oh my god it it doesn't help that it's cold wow good job ghost face you really took one for the team well wow good job everybody did such a good job on this game I'm so happy it's over. We had a really good time, and congratulations to the winners, Jaredins.

Marriage lives to see another day. I'm the biggest winner because I didn't lose. That would have been bad. And I got to visit Terry. Yes. That's what really matters here. Yes. All right, we're going to take a quick little break.

When we come back, Conspiracy. There is, see you in a second. Okay, our second new sponsor of the... There's a dog here. Okay. I don't know if you saw that. That was a lot. Okay.

Our second new sponsor of the episode today, which I'm so excited because I have been wanting to work with them for so long because I've seen so many YouTubers do like brand deals for them, and I've seen so many people wearing them. So welcome our new sponsor, Raycon. Okay, so I'm going to be honest. Like earbud headphones that are like, you know, you stick in many ears. those always fall out of my ears because I have a very weird ear shape.

Shout out to all my weird ears. But I also have just never been comfortable in them. I always feel like they're like hard or weird. And Raycon sent me a bunch of their headphones. And let me just tell you, I'm not just saying this because they're sponsoring the episode, which I'm very grateful for. I'm saying this because you can trust me.

These are good. I was going to cuss. I don't know if I'm allowed to. So they have the custom gel tips that will like fit perfectly in your ear. But the actual earbuds fit so good, and I used them on the treadmill. I, like, was walking around, weren't falling out of my head, which happens every single time with other earbuds. Ooh, almost got sued.

These did not fall out. They fit so well. So then when they sent me over all the information about it, the earbuds themselves were specifically modified through countless design iterations to seamlessly fit the curvature of the human ear, big or small. It fit so good. Like, it was like, sorry, that was gross. But it fit perfect and I was sweating a lot.

That's the other issue I have is why I kind of like to use headphones like this on the treadmill is I sweat a lot. So then when I'm sweating, like the earbud will fall out or to go wet and it'll change the sound. That did not happen. The Raycons stayed in my ear. The sweat did not affect them. Like it didn't change the sound or anything. And I never had to like adjust them when I was running, which is always annoying. You can pretty much control everything just by tapping on the Raycons.

And then the last thing I'm going to talk about because I've talked too much is noise isolation versus awareness mode. So this is great because the noise. isolation, obviously getting rid of the noise around you, making you feel like you're in the song or in the podcast. So that's great if you're like alone or if you're on the treadmill. But the awareness mode is really good because you can still hear what's going on around you. The music is great. Everything sounds amazing, but you can still kind of hear if somebody's next to you asking you a question or anyways, Raycon. I've talked too much. Thank you guys for sponsoring this episode. And they're giving you guys a big discount. So if you go to buy raycon.com slash grower, they'll give you 15% off

of your Raycon order. That's buy raycon.com slash grower to get 15% off of your order today. So thank you so much to Raycon for sponsoring this episode and sponsoring the show. I hope that you don't regret it. I hope this was okay. Next time, I'm going to meditate. I'm not going to ramble. That's a lie.

Okay, I'm sorry. I'm leaving. Enjoy the rest of the episode. I promise I'm going to go. I'm going to walk away. Enjoy the show. Just leave me. I'm never drinking coffee again.

It's just water. Coffee. Bye. Okay. So we have. Some very interesting conspiracies today. But before we get to the interactive ones, I have a question. Where are your kidneys?

Can you point to them for me? Like lower, like right here and lower back? Yeah. Right? Wrong. Listen, this is stupid, but I got probably 100 emails about this at Shane Dawson Podcast stuff at gmail.com. Send your conspiracies there.

But I got like over a hundred and people were saying that there's a Mandela effect that our kidneys have moved because this is where they are now. Way up here. Isn't that crazy? that's like where your lungs are right that's what i thought it was that's not that's kidneys are we thinking about liver no it's kidneys so then i was like i was like this is so stupid so then they started googling i'm like this has to be a joke and then everybody is shook by this i mean not everybody's doctors are not Kaiser Permanente just put out an instagram tweet

can you imagine if doctors came out and they were like that's not true mandela yeah dude i have a theory people are stupid because here's my theory is well yes we get kidney pain down here maybe that's just because down here is where something the kidney put something through to something or some bullshit I don't know I'm not a doctor but I'm assuming

that the kidney It sounded very scientific I thought you were a doctor for a second but maybe you could ask Terry Chang well you pointed it down here too right well you because you get pain right there but I think it's because it's towards your back is that a result of your kidneys

not functioning properly. Maybe that's why people call it a kidney pain. Because you piss out a kidney stone and your kidney isn't in your testicles. And do we all know what kidneys do? They filter your blood. Oh, I thought they filter. Do they? I don't know anything. That's why I was asking. I was like, I'm not the only one that doesn't know, right? Don't they filter your

your piss or no? Oh, God. They filter the toxins out of your body. It's a filtration system. Yes. Okay, I have more groundbreaking conspiracies coming, but before we get to those, let's get to the interactive ones. So I gave everybody a bottle of chocolate syrup.

and a half-drinking water bottle. Gross. So Jared actually sent me this because this kind of went viral on something on TikTok or some shit. I saw it. Yeah, you saw it. But basically, you said if you just put chocolate syrup into your water bottle and shake it up, it'll taste just like Youhoo, which I also have to look very hard for it. It's kind of an angering conspiracy to know that I've ever fucking spent money on Youhoo.

If I could just make it with water. Well, this is the part that's going to fucking shake you right now. Oh, he's already going in. That looks so gross. Wait, how much? How much do you put? Can you show that? Like, that looks so gross.

This is what's making me think this conspiracy might be real. Is if you actually look at the Uhoo box, it doesn't say chocolate milk. It says chocolate drink. What? It's so gross. And it's on the shelf. It's not in the fridge section. Yuck.

So look at the agreeance list. Is there a chocolate? milk on there. So, by the way, this is why we cut ghost face a hole in his mouth. If you're wondering why he looks like a fucking S&M fucking thing. Okay.

All right, so let's put a lot. Drink, make me my U-Hoo drink. Drink it, damn it. Should we take a sip of normal you-hoo first so we know or is that clouding our judgment? No, I think we, because

have you drinking U-Hoo in a long time? I haven't. I'm not going to lie, I did break it open. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You can fucking pop the bottle. I say we drink this first Because I want to see Wow, use a lot

It's getting everywhere I know Ours look like deep water Oh man I'm going to that right when I'm about to drink it That looks like when you dump out the shit in the RV Oh yeah thanks So you guys want to taste this first

You can let's see how this is ready No No chance No chance Ew Ew It tastes like poop Why did it taste like that?

Dude, I can't wait to get this y-hoo in my mouth. Maybe we need more. Maybe we need more. No, there's no way. You'd have to pour the whole bottle to make that taste good. It's not even like, it's not even close. Wait, isn't chocolate, hot chocolate, just powder and water? Why is this, this is not shaking me at all? It's just kind of a normal thing.

All right. Are you guys not on your yuhus yet? Okay, this is good. You-hoo is fucking good as fuck. I don't care of poop water. This is good. I would beer bomb this. So this is your first yu-hoo?

Yeah. Oh, my God. It's so good. It's really good. Which, by the way, I started falling down a rabbit hole about things that companies do that's kind of crazy. Like, did you guys know Pringles are not chips? They legally can't say their chips. Why?

There was a lawsuit. Because potato chips or any kind of chip is made out of, like, cut up pieces of potato and they fry it or they bake it, right? But no, Pringles is a potato paste that they make, and then they spread it, and then they cut out chip shapes. Is that real? Yes. It's just like salt?

So that's why they're called crisps and not. chips. Is that crazy? They used to be called gyps and they got shit. It's still my favorite. So good. Once you pop. Thank you, Pringles, for thinking of the base situation and perfecting it. That's the thing. Whenever I hear about these things, like, I'm not grossed out. I'm like, when

the McDonald's and they're like, oh, it's not chicken, it's a pink paste. I'm like, it's fucking good. Who cares? That makes me feel better. I'm like, so it's vegan? Real chicken. You found a way to turn pink paste into this? Kudos to you. Or like McDonald's, how they used to only. I don't want to get

but they used to allegedly allegedly they would just call their milkshakes McDonald's shakes because there's no milk in it how did you never notice that McDonald's shakes never melted like if you had one in the car that shit never melted that's the kind of shake for me what is it well now they changed it and it is like a milkshake but years ago this is a rumor but some people were saying it's a form of melted plastic oh I believe it's so good though I don't think they'll care about us saying that because they've changed no because they changed they changed they fixed it. They took accountability. Okay, so there's a certain fast food company that I worked with on a project. Taco Bell. No, not Taco Bell. I can't say what it was. But I will say I was like, oh, in the video, I'm like, am I like, is there any jokes I'm not allowed to make? And they were like, just don't refer to our food as dog food. Oh, it's Taco Bell. No, it's not. It's not Taco Bell. And I was like, what? Why? And they're like, well, because like, We have been accused of putting dog food and it's not dog food. It's just manufactured in a similar way and in the same building.

And it's kind of the same thing, but it's not dog food. It's not Taco Bell. It's not Taco Bell. But then it got me thinking because Jack in the Box, like their actual tacos have meat in it. Did you know that's not meat? Wait, what? He got something else. It's like meat substitute that's supposed to taste like me.

Wait, really? Jack in the Box been ahead of the game for years then, dude. Yes. They should just call them Beyond Tacos. Beyond the box. Honestly, I love those. Whoa. I know.

I hope somebody on their marketing team is listening. And you're welcome. Okay, well, speaking of gross foods that we want out of our mouths, I have something for us to try. And it is kind of a conspiracy. The scary, the potentially hospitalization, the pink song. Okay. We found out about this on the same day, like months ago.

We were hanging out. We were watching YouTube, and we saw these videos. about this pink sauce and this girl she made she's getting canceled so we looked into it she made this sauce in her room or something and then it went viral so then she started people were like we want it she's like I'll give it to you so she started selling it like herself in the mail and then people started getting sick well everyone that she shipped was like people were unboxing it because it was so viral and everyone had a different color variation oh everyone that got shipped was like it was like oozing out of the bottle from the way it had been shipped and

And yeah, people started getting sick, and she got some lawsuits, I think. But now it's in Walmarts everywhere. There's a factory, it's a whole thing, and now it's like a real sauce that they're selling. Good for her. I call bullshit. An entrepreneur, it's fine. No, I stand with her. You should go buy the support her, but I call bullshit.

Because how, you know how hard it is to get anything done in this world? Like, if we ever had an idea, I don't know how the fuck you get it done. No, it went viral. How did this girl in her room on TikTok, now she's in every Walmart? Well, okay, Walmart came to her and said, Girl, we'll help you refine this recipe and we'll manufacture it for you and you'll get a cut, I'm sure. Or was the whole thing of story and bullshit just to go viral, just to promote the sauce that was already made and was already ready to ship? I think it's all a bit, and I think it was all a big long, long con.

Because now this is sold out everywhere. It's so hard to find this. It's probably just a big joke. But if everyone was getting sick, wouldn't they not want it? You wanted to see if it makes us sick, baby. Now, I don't, nobody can describe the flavor. It's something undescribable. I will say the smell of it smells like throw-up. It smells like something's wrong with the ranch.

Something's wrong with the ranch. That's the catchphrase. Because something's wrong with the ranch. Okay. I did get us the best dipping, though. I got us jack-in-the-box curly fries, which are so good. Okay, Arby's are better. Let's ruin them.

Ready? Cheers? dude. Someone dikeke me like hates that? Oh, you hate it. He hates it. The initial taste is fine, but the aftertaste, the more it lingers, it's worse and worse and worse. Really?

Is this supposed to be eaten with food? I don't think it's that bad. Like, it's not good, but are they babies? Yeah. They're babies, right? It's definitely not good. It's like mixing every single. salt in your pantry, but it doesn't taste

good. I almost threw up. It tastes like when you eat that shit you throw up in your mouth. That's literally what it's fucking tastes like. Something has me like going back. I got that out of my mouth just in time. I would have thrown up if you said that that was my mouth. Ghost face, give us a, what's your...

This is disgusting. Disgusting. What would you, what would you do if someone put that on some brisket? Slap the show. What's the marketing ploy though? Because if it sucks, Nobody's going to buy it a second time.

It's a gag game. They're going to try it to see if it sucks. I know, but then after that, after they've gone through the market, it's over. But what if people like it? Do people ever like it? No. I don't know. Oh, interesting.

The number one ingredient is dragon fruit. Okay, there was something sweet in there. Should I read what the bottle says? Yeah, now they're out of my mouth. Far from ordinary. That's true. From TikTok to your table, shock your taste buds with flavor and thrill. Taste Chef Pie's famous sweet and tangy sauce made vibrant with dragon fruit.

Are you ready to try the pink sauce? Their description's accurate. I'll give them that. I hope that she does well if she's a real person and not like a plant. I hope it succeeds, but I will say that was horrible. I don't want to work. Not one person liked it. But I don't know.

I'm glad that she's thriving. It's pretty hard to make a sauce that sucks, right? I just feel like the whole time I was trying to figure out what it's just a little bit of everything. It's yes. You mix everything in your pantry. I always wondered what to me sounds grosser than Thousand Island. That's it. You know?

Because Thousand Island is like the grossest thing in the world to me. Now that's canceled. Oh, sorry, good luck, chef pie. Chef, or Carly? We love you, Charlie, Pie. Come on the podcast. Good for them. The last theory is not really a theory,

and I'm not going to go fully into it because I actually want to do like a bigger in-depth video about this because it's been freaking me out so much. Mushrooms. Not magic mushrooms. Literally just mushrooms in general. Yes. Okay, I've always thought mushrooms are gross, right?

Disgust them. They grossed me out, the texture, and I could never figure out why. I was like, there's something about mushrooms that gross me out. Everybody loves them. I don't get it, right? I love them. Ew.

Well, get ready. Because I'm about to throw some shit at you right now. Did you know that mushrooms are not a plant and they're not an animal? They're somewhere in between. They're a fungus. Yes. So they're in their own family. They're actually the closest thing to humans because they intake oxygen and exhale carbon.

And you're telling me vegans eat them? Vegans are actually debating it. No way. Yes. Because mushrooms. I'm not going to go through all this, but what I will say is, Mushrooms have 50 words. They communicate.

They have 50 words. They use that they talk to each other. What? 50 words. They have like a whole network underground. Mycelian. Yes. It's like avatar.

A whole network underground that they use to communicate with each other to like. Community. Basically the goal of mycelian is to strengthen itself. So to locate other mycelian or basically just get as much volume and mass underground as they can. They use it even to, if they're trying to figure out a maze or this best route for piping, they'll use mycelian. and then plant one piece over here and one piece over here, and they'll let the mycelian show them the best route for the piping. Yes, they do it.

They did it in, I think it was Japan. I might be fucking that up trying out of Japan. But they did it where they were trying to figure out a better subway system that was like more efficient. That's what it is. So they literally did that. And then they took what the mushrooms figured out. They made it the actual subway system. Mushrooms are smart.

I have a buddy that has a theory. We are actually the creation that mushrooms made, get themselves off of the planet. That's my fucking theory. Is it? Yes. You guys are bananas. And he came up with this while we ate a bunch of mushrooms that we grew ourselves

and we thought, dude, they're exposing themselves to us, bro. We did it. Yes. Another creepy gross thing is the reason that vegans eat mushrooms instead of meat is because mushrooms have a meaty texture and flavor. Yeah. That's so gross when you think about it. Like a portabella mushroom.

You notice? Yeah. It really, in a. grows out of animal shit. Really? That's like the best substrate for mushrooms is manure. Vegans are questioning it. Well,

hardcore ones because they're like, well, if mushrooms can do all these things that are literally smart, so they clearly are figured like, should we be eating them if they're kind of alive? And then the vegans are like, well, but they're not sentient.

They don't have feelings, but they are smart. And they're smarter than plants. They're not as smart as animals, but they're somewhere in between, which is so gross to think about, I don't know, it just creeps me out.

But then I watched that show The Last of Us. Have you heard of it? The Zombie Show? Yes. Yes. I know the game and I want to see the show really bad. Do you know what it's actually about? Not really.

Okay, so the show The Last of Us is about zombies, right? Yeah. But the way that they got the idea for the game and for the show was because there is a fungus that in the forest attaches itself to an ant. It goes into the ant, and then it goes into the ant's central nervous system and attaches. Then it starts to manipulate and make the ant do things. It makes the ant clans. I'm a certain length, get to a certain spot in the sun, attached to a certain plant to get the nutrients,

and then it slowly eats the ant from the inside out, and then it starts to grow its mushrooms out of the ant. Shut the fuck. So it literally turns the ants into a zombie. The first stage is twitching. The second stage is wandering around. The third stage is trying to find a place to land. And then the last stage is dying and being a breeding ground for mushrooms.

That is literally a dead ant. with mushrooms growing out of it from the inside out. They turn the ant into just a fucking vessel for their fucking mushroom shit. Is that fucking crazy? So the last of us is about that. It's about what would happen if the fungus did that to humans? And if you watch The Last of Us, they all start turning into mushrooms. So all of you eating mushrooms are fucked.

But isn't that fucking insane? So then I started going down a long rabbit hole because then I was like, wait a minute, mushrooms they're smart they have been on this earth for longer than we have they're the only thing that can survive in space without needing a fucking helmet what yes they sent them into space with no coverings or anything and the mushrooms thrived in space they communicate with each other they can make you hallucinate and make you see god they can do all these things they're delicious to some people especially on pizza oh i love them on pizza no i had they look like penises then i started looking into it and I'm like okay there's a lot of fucking scary ass mushrooms that like I've never

seen before but look first of all look at how many mushrooms look like dick and fucking pussies explains a lot look at that one that literally looks like a big fake pussy that's how they attract humans to eat them really yeah what's with the deadly mushrooms and then look at this look at this mushroom that looks like a foot oh ew it is telling me that's not an alien foot and you guys are eating this shit oh I mean I'm not eating that one Look at the ear. Look at the ear. You're telling me that's not an ear. That's an ear. Why are the mushrooms doing this? So then that's when I got into the theory that Jared was just talking about. And the theory is, and I'll do a simplified version of it, the theory is that mushrooms

arrived on Earth first through some asteroid or through some something. Then they terraformed the earth. They created their, you know, ecosystem. They are kind of the beginning of everything, right? They got us to eat them, which would open up our minds to get ideas. Steve Jobs. He took mushrooms. That's how he got a lot of his ideas. A lot of big people who have created and invented all the craziest things we know of have taken mushrooms to help them figure it out, right? So they want humans to eat them to get all these good ideas. And then their ultimate goal is to get us to take them into space to another planet so they can do it all again. So are the mushrooms just using us as a transportation device? Just like they use the ants as a transportation device? Like

that shit freaked me out. And then with the last of us coming out, I'm like, we're all starting to be aware of it, baby. We know what they're doing. I have heard something of, are we the ones harvesting plants or do plants harvest us? That's what I'm saying. You know, because like, because we end up dying, going into the ground, fertilizing plants. If you pick a mushroom. Even animals, they poop it out.

If you pick a mushroom, mushrooms, like, far away, no. Like, they're all connected. Yes, that's in The Last of Us, if you kill one of the zombies, the mushroom zombies, all the zombies come running. because they know because they're all connected through the what's it called? Mycelian. They're all connected through it. It's crazy. I'm met a guy whose job was studying free communication

where they would study how the root systems of trees would intercommunicate with each other yeah don't like plants have feelings shout out to plants dude shout out to plants. If you play like certain music they thrive better and stuff like that yeah I have a mushroom with me now I know this I know it sounds stupid right

you're gonna put chocolate on it but I was like let me look at this fucking mushroom You're telling me that that fucking mushroom doesn't look like the fucking UFO from nope. You're telling me that's not where they got the fucking idea. Spoiler alert, sorry. But you're telling me, look at that shit. Look how fucking scary all that fucking shit is. You're telling me you want me to eat that shit?

I don't trust it at all. Have you ever seen a really, really close up shot of an eye? It looks like that. Do you know what I mean? I mean, there's, guys, there's theories out there that the Bible itself is actually a book that is, a ledger of psychedelic experiences with mushrooms that they had to deeply code because the Roman Empire Church wouldn't allow people to use mushrooms. And this was like a psychedelic book that was passed around.

And even the halo on Jesus is like representative of a mushroom top. And then there's all kinds of stuff about Christianity basically being about mushrooms. The whole on the third day, the rising and all this stuff, because it used to rain after long periods of drought and the rain was like a big thing. And then three days later is usually when mushrooms would have started to appear. So on the third day, the sun rose. It's very complicated. But I mean, there's people that actually think that religion is based around mushrooms themselves.

So mushrooms could be responsible for religions. I literally 100% think mushrooms are aliens. And I think that's why ever since I was little, I couldn't eat them. Because if you bite into one, it tastes like skin. It tastes like flesh. It's so gross And I think it's because They're fucking aliens

And I think I may be An alien is telling me In my head like don't eat me It makes sense Ghost face looks very like concerned Does he not like mushrooms either Oh I'll eat one right now

What do you think mushrooms are aliens I'm not Okay So I fell down this rabbit hole yesterday I was freaking out about it I was finding all these pictures of mushrooms I was watching all these videos about people talking about mushrooms

and like I was watching vegans being like I don't eat mushrooms because you know they have a community like it was all this stuff and shit and then we go to dinner with our friends and literally every meal they ordered have fucking mushrooms on it yeah it was crazy and I was just like oh my God it was too much well who's to say you guys aren't eating mushrooms because they can put them in different sauces and like process them that way very horrible yeah all of us that's true it's a good point I think it scares me because if you really think about it mushrooms are smarter than chickens they're fucking smarter than cows And we're eating them. Like, it scares me. Why are we eating them, right? They're smarter than all of us. They're smarter than Japan. They created the subway system. It's crazy when you really start spiraling about it.

I know people are going to make fun of me, but it's fucking crazy, right? They're delicious. That's why we eat them. And because at the end of the day, we only have an intellectual level to understand life and death. The mushroom understands the full cycle of eternity and the infinite. reality that we're in. So when we eat them, it's not like we're killing them.

This is just part of the experience that they're creating for us. So I don't feel bad when I'm eating them. I'm embracing them. So they want them. They don't look at it like us. We look at a very arbitrary like life and death. The mushrooms,

there's no such thing as death. You know what I'm saying? So they're smarter than us. Yeah. Being smarter than us, like they're beyond the emotion and the feelings of feeling bad about dying and eat them. They want us to eat them.

You know what I mean? No. On that note, oh God, Rylan. get me out of my spiral. Give us a recap. Light camera action. Ryland's recap is about to happen.

Rylent's recap. On today's episode of the Shane Dawson podcast, the boys celebrate Valentine's Day with our partners here. Cute. Nice. I'm a hater. It was cute. It was cute.

Oh, you admitted to being the one that starts all the fights. Oh, please. Shane spreading fake news trying to ruin Rylan's reputation. It's not true. Ghost face. I mean, huge. Ghost face is here. Chris makes his boyfriend's debut.

Yeah. Chris's boyfriend makes a podcast debut. I didn't have anything good, sorry. Oh, you're not getting a Lamborghini. And sad news. Ryland, after campaigning. for months to get a Lamborghini, Shane breaks Ryland's heart and won't even rent him one. Jared and Sandy beaten cheeks by a dentist.

Dentist office. In freaky news, everyone reveals the craziest place they've beaten cheeks. Jared and Sandy outside a dentist's office. Oh, shout out to our favorite actupturist Terry Chang. Terry Chang, man. Terry Chang, man. Jerry Chang, dude. Shout out to Terry Chang.

Located it in. Pomona. California. For all your acupuncturous needs. Oh, oh, the pink sauce was gross. Oh, in disgusting news. No, we love her. Entrepreneur.

Owner of the pink sauce. Veronica, don't fuck it out, please. Veronica soars to new heights. shocking the boys with the disgusting pink sauce. Oh, Shane would sell Rylent's pussy for $100 million. No, it was the opposite. Oh, yuck.

You would cuck for $100 million. The boys reveal how much they would sell their partners for Chris's boyfriend doesn't want Chris to get fat. He would break up with them actually. That's what it felt like. In couples news.

In couples news, if Chris gets fat he will get dumped you found a way to make it seem mean you know you found a way to make it feel mean there's no way to make it seem nice oh Ryland that beats cheeks like a woman

in divorce news Shane reveals I'm as great as a woman it was not Taco Bell that is dog food Not Taco Bell, it was somebody else. An attempt not to get sued. Shane stands by saying Taco Bell isn't dog food.

Oh, Kidneys. Sandy comes up with a new term for the partners of a grower, which is a lot of the viewers at home. In Genius News, all of us dating growers now have a name to identify with, the farmers. Wow. That's good. Good job. Thank you, Sandy.

All right, you guys, and that's it for this week's episode of the Shane Dawson podcast. Make sure you're following the Shane Dawson podcast on Instagram and all of us on social media as well. Make sure you like and listen to the podcast. Oh, is Sandy, do you, you mentioned, sorry. You mentioned earlier, but are you still doing it? You're thinking of starting a channel? I am, but I'm thinking of a name, but I'm excited to do that.

Okay. Well, once you have your channel, you'll come back on our show and promote it. Yes. For now, is there anywhere they can follow you? No. Okay. No. No.

Yeah. I'll be making it down. spin on mine, shameless plug. Let's mind travel on IG. Very soon. Oh, now you want me to perform? Keep going. All right, you guys, buy the Shane Dawson podcast merch at shan-dossommerch.com,

and we will see you in two weeks right here on the Shane Dotson podcast. Goodbye. Bye. All right, well, hopefully you guys enjoyed whatever the fuck this was. This was a event. It was a journey. And I feel like we are all closer now that we've been on it together. That was a lot.

Hopefully guys are joined and see you guys next time. And shout out pink sauce sauce girl. We love you. Veronica. Shout out Veronica. We love you. Bye. You know,