The Shane Dawson Podcast - Conspiracy Theories and We're Dads!!

Episode Date: December 13, 2023

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That's aura.com slash control. This next theory is going to really piss off Ryan. Are you ready for this? I'm going to be cool, calm, and collected. I'm practicing staying chill. It's not about that. We're done with the dress. We're done?

For this year. Oh. Until new news comes out, we're done. Hey, sorry to interrupt the show. Please don't leave. Don't go anywhere because I want to give a big shout out right now to myself. Oh, that sounds dark. So really quick, I just want to give some love to my new merch because it's Christmas time,

which means you guys are shopping for presents. And maybe there is someone in your life who you look at and you're like, you know what they are missing on their body right now? The face of a dead pig. And that's the kind of friend you got to take care of. So as you can see, I'm wearing the pink spray paint pig hoodie. And for the more bold people out there, I have the brown tie-dye with the line green yellow pig. And that one has the SDs going down the sleeves.

And there's also two shirt options. I have a purple shirt with the purple pig, and there's a brown shirt with like a gold pig. And so many of you guys have been messaging me and tagging me and saying that you're ordering it. And I don't know, it just makes me very happy because I was very nervous about this merch in general. Because I thought maybe people wouldn't care about the pig or they'd be over it. So the fact that you guys were supporting it and wearing it and just, I don't know, it's very excited. All right. Anyways, happy holidays. Hope you guys have a good holiday. I can't believe I'm not going to see you. Well, I'll see you in the next ad. But yeah, I hope you guys have a really good holiday. And by the time you're watching this, I'm probably already a dad. That's crazy. Because I'm filming this before. Oh, my God. Okay, I'm fine. No, I'm excited. I'm not stressed. I'm not nervous. It's going to be great. Enjoy the rest of the show. Bye. Hey, welcome back to whatever the hell this is Christmas edition.

Yes. Or holiday, Kwanza, Hanukkah, I don't believe in anything, whatever you believe in or not. Yay! Yes. So, okay, I have some fun stuff planned for today's episode. Some Christmas Mandela Facts. Some Christmas movie trivia maybe. Ooh.

What? What was that? What was that? Oh, my God, it's Santa. Santa? Oh, my God, Santa's here. What is Santa doing here? Is she asking for change?

Santa, do you have some presents that you're going to hand out? Oh, presents for the good little boys and girls. Yes. Oh my God, what a surprise. We have no idea. It's a Christmas miracle. I didn't even bake you cookies. Oh my God, this is so exciting.

Santa, I'm your biggest fan. So let me explain what's happening. I'm not going to tell you who Santa is yet. But the plan was I wanted to play that game we played last year, where somebody got my credit card and went out and went shopping for us, and then we have Little Secret Santa. So then Ryan and Texas, texted me from Costco and he was just like,

I mean, from Gucci. Ooh. And he was like, you forgot to get me your card. So Ryan would actually bought these presents. I didn't choose out the gifts, but I paid for the gifts. That's all that matters. Santa didn't make these for us? Oh, sorry, yes.

The elves in terrible working conditions. And you know what? I thought, this was also on cash app. Santa's QR code is on the screen right now. So, Santa, explain your process of picking us out presents, and how did it go, and are you excited for us to open them? I'm excited, but also for me, presents are a major expression of I see you. I love you.

These do not represent how much I see and love you people. Okay, okay. It was really, really hard. With one day's notice and a limit of $50, it was hard. And just at Costco, basically. Wow. Chris is going to break his gift. Chris is heavy.

This feels super heavy for $50. Whatever this is, is, I like it. I gave her a budget of $50 per person. And I also want to say, I gave you a budget of $150 for your costume. And you sent me one for only like 50. So you have $100 in the pocket already, baby. Thank God. So yeah, you should have got yourself something.

Your presence is my present. Okay, how do we do this? Well, okay, should we say who you are? Are we defending to Santa? Oh, yeah. This is my podcast co-host, Lizzie, check out. This is it. No way.

No way. It's all over. Guys, I can't fix this. This is what I'm going to be the whole time. That was good. No, we could touch you up. I don't think there's coming back from this. It's a Jeffrey Star Liquid Lip.

It's there. It's there, baby. It's okay. Dang, what a plug. I am. Okay, should we open up these presents? How do we start? It's happening this fast.

I think it should. Or should we do it throughout the show? Let's do one person at a time. Chris go. Okay. I'm excited. Oh, I'm nervous. Are you laughing because it's like

It's mugs So he can be like the little teacup Easter bunny It's a present for us Because I keep losing your mugs in weird spots It's there for you to lose in your own house Wait that is really cute I'm a tea I'm a tea boy I drink a lot of tea

And Lizzie thought the designs were so cute Why is Ryan Lund looks like Like a real big asshole fashion photographer guy Oh yeah It is really cute. He's just like holding his arms like that. He looks like my mother. I wish you guys knew my mom because you would die.

Okay. So those are some mugs. Those are very nice. I was expecting more of like a butt plug or dole. I guess you can't get that. It's Costco, bro. Right. I wanted to get you a shit ton of raw chicken.

And Rylan was like, don't do that. Raw chicken. Because you love chicken. You're right. You know me. How do you say Merry Christmas in German? Oh, God. It's so funny because Merry Christmas in Spanish is like very, it sounds very sweet.

It sounds very nice. It's Felis Naviidad. It's very, you know. But in German, oh, God, I have to remind myself now. It's crazy. Oh, don't ask me. Frohe von Nocten is Merry Christmas. Freuden the Knocken.

I like I were saying like villains. I mean, is there a nice... That's the only way to say it. Germans sometimes is terrifying. Or hilarious. Wait, what was your present? Ooh, the Marvel Cinematic Universe in the official timeline. Nice.

This I do love. I love Marble. I love Star Wars. I don't read enough. I do read when I'm very excited about it. And this is like perfect for me because there's for sure pictures. That's what I said.

So it's your book of books. Can you go on the coffee table? Yeah. This is cute. I really like this. It was between that or actual comic books, but I figured you were a cinematic guy. Yeah, no, this is like great.

And I really, like, I like the whole universe. What Marvel character do you identify as? Identify as? I don't know. He's told me he wants to be the first gay Marvel character. I would love. I feel like there's already a few. When I said this, though, when I said this, there was not one yet.

Maybe it's a closet. Now I think that. Maybe it could be called Marvelous. Right? Oh my God. Yes. I'm just saying. I'm down to that.

I think Jared should go. I was saying Jared for last. Oh. Kind of worried after you threw raw chicken in the mix. Well, I don't know. Shane, what do you think? What do I got here? Do you want Jared for last?

Yeah. It's your Christmas. Okay. I like to be last. Okay. Go ahead, Ryland. You want me? Yeah.

So you guys went together. How did you keep? this a secret. What was the, you know? He picks these out. No, I did. I did it. You look insane. This is perfect for Thanksgiving.

That's coming up. We're going to Thanksgiving in our house. Why? You just got shopping. You just got the necessities. He was like, I need a new hard drive. I could probably get like some scissors. Nice.

Okay. And then this is going to be good for all of us. We're all going to be thanking. Oh, I don't. Let me see what it is. Damn. Oh, chocolate. All of us can bust into these when you give us nasty food later. This is how it cleanser.

Hell yeah. Great job. Thank you, Santa. This is incredible. You're welcome. Okay. I have like three. And there feel the broad chicken.

I fucking wish. First present. Any guesses? It feels like a cuck. Oh. Do you have it? No, I don't. Oh, it's a Starbucks coming to dinner and it's winter.

Wow, that's beautiful. You might as well just open the other one while we're here. Okay, I went to, like, five different Starbucks is looking for the Stanley Starbucks collab. Okay, that is one of the conspiracies that we'll talk about today. But, yeah, there's a lot of drama with the Stanley Starbucks collab. Drama? There's drama. I feel like they're doing a short stop.

Not only did she go to five, we called a bunch of others to nowhere. Sounds like a super chase. And they're a hundred dollars. Ooh, a little candy kids. I got those at two separate Starbucks. She went to five. Say thank you. No, I love them.

He loves them. I was making a joke of funny. Okay, what is this? I see. I love it already. Ooh, it's a candle. Santa's cookies. Fuck there, you bitch.

Oh, my God. This. Oh, God. And this is crazy because he wasn't letting me get candles anymore because he said they're bad for babies. Yeah, we can't have them. You got to use it all before they come. Wow, the lid is so cute. It's so good.

It's so good. I know you like a dessert flavored smell. I love it. Thank you. I love them. Those will kill you, though. Really? It'll smell good.

Okay, Jared. Well, you have two more things. No, I don't. Yes, you do. What? Okay, this is spoiling me. I thought the gift limit was 50 bucks. I think this is, how much of those cups?

Starbucks are $25 each. Yeah. So you already passed it up. I'll cushion that blow. Oh, my God. Look at the little that guy. What is he? cute. I think he's an alpaca. He's so cute.

A tournament since we don't have them at this house. I love it. I love it. And then this because I think you moved Barry to your new house, right? Oh, it's a little polar bear. Wow, that's so cute. 1295. You definitely went over. Right. Nothing says I love you like a 1295.

For real. Nothing does. That's what I said too. We went to check out. It was like $25 for those things. And I was like, what the fuck? We're returning these. Wow. Thank you guys. I love it. I should totally wear that on a necklace. I think that's a new trend that's going to happen in the near future. I'm terrified. If you're on a back down.

No, Jared, open your present. Are you kidding? There's a lot of pressure on this moment. Jared never wants to talk to you again. I'm out of this. You said this was funny. Uh-oh. What?

Oh, what? No, what? Shade's reaction, what is it? There's no way this was 50 bucks, first of all. No, it was $399. What? You spent that on a joke? What the hell is this?

It's a Dyson hair, blower. A Dyson hairblower. You spent $3.50 on a... All right. Blur it out because I'm giving it to Sandy for Christmas. Yes, yes. But yeah. It's an expensive bit. Your gift is behind the couch. What? Oh, he has another gift. I was going to say I'm not able to give this to Sandy for Christmas. You're going to have to buy it off us. Those are always sold out everywhere. You can have fun.

This is his actual gift. This gift is a massive. Is it an axe throwing challenge? Yes, it is. This is great. Thanks, Shane. Thank you, Santa. Thank you, Shane. Sandy, thanks to you, Ryland, for the $400 gunner.

Well, Sandy, it was for someone else, but you're welcome. Wow, I'm so happy. This is such a nice start to the holidays. Wow, this was so fun. Oh, my God. I have so much plans, you guys. Okay, this is random. But first of all, I had learned a lot about myself in the last week.

First of all, we're four weeks out from having babies. By the time you see this episode, we might have babies. So we've been, you know, we took a CPR class, which was crazy. Like we were literally doing CPR on baby dolls. It was nuts. Oh, Chris, if you ever choke, I got you. I figured it out. Um, I feel like a choker. I feel like out of us, you would joke. Yeah. Yeah.

So I know exactly how to get it out of you, baby. So then we did that. Also, I learned something. So we were talking about what to do if somebody has an allergic reaction in front of you, right? Because it could get really bad. So we were talking about it and she's like, are you allergic to anything? I was like, well, what's like the first sign of an allergic reaction? She goes, oh, if your tongue starts to get really itchy.

And I was like, oh, like every time I eat ice cream. She was like, oh, no, I hate where this is going for you. I was like, yeah, like when I eat ice cream, Which, like, I don't really eat it that much. But when I do, my tongue is so itchy. I just, I just, I'm like, and then I'm like, but that's just because it's cold. And she goes, she goes, no. And I was like, what?

And she's like, you're allergic to ice cream. And if you eat too much of it or you could, like, literally have a whole reaction and, like, need to go to the fucking doctors. Oh, my God. I did not know. I'm allergic to ice cream. What is there like an ingredient in it? I don't know. But that literally every time I eat it, itchy tongue.

But do you, I guess we don't really drink milk. Is it? I don't know. So then I started thinking, I was like, well, how would I know if I'm allergic to something or like whatever? And she goes, well, it can happen at any time. She's like, so when I was, when I turned like 35, I ate an almond, which I was never allergic before. And then out of nowhere, throat swells up.

I start to panic. I feel like I'm going to black out. Ended up in an ambulance. She's like, one day I just became allergic to almonds. I was like, what? Someone probably tried to like poison her that day. I said, no, you're probably allergic to almonds all of a sudden at 35. Every time you eat the thing that you're allergic to,

the reaction comes on quicker as well, depending on how severe your reaction to whatever you're allergic to is. And I guess it can't just come on any time. It was interesting because even when we got Cheeto, I was never allergic to cats. I grew up with cats. And then I had an allergic reaction when we got Cheeto after I hadn't lived with a cat for five years.

Yeah, so it's crazy. So, yeah, guys out there, if you're eating something and your tongue gets itchy, stop eating it. Don't think it's fun because it does feel good to scratch. trying to get you to stop eating ice cream um also the other thing i learned about myself really quick and i just want your guys's thoughts on this is uh i realized that my hair is going gray and then i like posted about on instagram and my friend texted me and was like oh my god my hair went gray five years

ago and i was like oh is this a thing am i that age now where i'm 30 and then my friend was over today cutting my hair and i was telling her i'm like oh my god my hair's going gray she's like literally so is mine and i was like wow we're fucking old we're dying that happens in like your 30s i guess It can happen sooner. I thought that was like a 50s thing. I think it also depends on like the pigment of your hair or whatever because we have lighter hair in essence. I didn't even know I had gray hair in my beard until I got new glasses.

I thought ginger's didn't gray. It's more or less white. Blonde. Blonde. It's white. I can't say blonde. Blonde is too generous. But I didn't even know how much I had until I got new glasses and I could see clearly because

my other glasses were like a layer of fog in front of me. Are heart tubes going to go gray? Because that's where I draw the line. Yeah, they probably will. You'll have Silver Fox. I mean, no offense if you have gray pubs. You posted a picture on your Instagram story with gray hair, and I thought you looked good. I did like a little Photoshop because I was curious, like what would I look like?

And I looked like a fucking insane. How did your husband miss this? You don't watch my Instagram. He's a fake fan. Okay, we're going to take a quick little break. And when we come back, it's a lot. We have a lot of show today. Get ready.

Hi, I'm Danny L'Priori. Ever get the feeling you're being watched online? It's not paranoia. It's data brokers. These companies collect your personal information, including your browsing habits, where you live, and even who you're related to, and they sell it to the highest bidder. That's where Aura comes in. ORA automatically removes your personal info from data broker sites and keeps it off. It also monitors the dark web, safeguards your devices, alerts you to real-time threats, and more.

start your free trial at ora.com slash control that's a urea.com slash control for your free trial oh oh merry christmas happy honica happy quanza happy i don't believe in anything day whatever you believe in i hope you're having a good holiday season and when you go to bed at night and you rethink everything that happened during the day and you start questioning like Did I say something weird? Oh my God. Is that person mad at me? Does my family even care about me?

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That's Buffy.com and use code Farmer for 25% off, which is great. That's amazing. 25% off. You can get like the Breeze Comfitter and the Breeze Sheetset set and the. the breeze pillow and get 25% off and your partner that you sleep with will be a hundred percent happier that they're not swimming in your sweat see how that works out all right thank you buffy and enjoy this show okay first let's start with us and viewer interaction or as jerry calls it vagina viewers are great i need another okay uh it's where life starts right

Think about it. No matter who you all. Well, I didn't come out of a vagina. What? You came out of your mom's ass? A C-section, baby. Oh. Out of your mom's ass.

I was like, where else? Like, what kind of lies about to unfold here? You didn't come to the vagina? You're so gay. You came out of your mouth. Shout out. This is from Sarah. Oh, God.

She said she got her and her husband matching grower and farmer hoodies for Christmas. And then she put he's warming up to it. Yeah. That's a good place to be. That's a good place to be. Look how cute they are. I love it. Very cute.

Okay, so, and shout out to Sarah's husband. You are a trooper. Yeah, dude. This is from Liberty. She said, hey, Shane, I've been watching your videos for 13 years now. Wow. And you've always been one of favorite YouTubers.

Thank you so much. She said that she got her and her boyfriend matching hoodies. And look at them in their grower hoodies. Oh, my God. And look at the dog. The dog's like, what is. The dog's not excited for this. The dog's jealous, dude.

He wants one. Wow. That would be cute. Should we need dog calls? I mean, if this isn't a sign. Yeah. I could put bubs in a grower shirt because he is constantly masturbating to the point that the entire member comes out of the penile sheath. And sometimes it gets too dry.

And we have to put coconut oil on it to get it back inside. It's so fucked up. I'm not cutting anything. Are you sure? Oh, no. And by the way, the first piece of advice you ever gave me about our podcast is to never say that on it. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, I love you. That was a gift. Yeah. Merry Christmas. Really quick. My husband does it too. Living. That makes it better. That makes it better.

We do it together. It's a group better. We don't do it at the same time. No, Lizzie. Oh my God. I forgot to show you the best part. Okay. So Liberty actually filmed her boyfriend's reaction.

The best. Okay. Yeah, this is a good one. Here we go. Oh, no. I'm trying to leave. We got a messing one. I love that she's so excited to rock it herself.

Yeah. She's so cute. Yeah. Grow and associate. Yes. Oh, yeah. Can I just say, I want to say something, but I don't know if it's, like, gross. It probably is, and you still do it.

I feel like there's no way that they're not fucking after that. Oh, dude, he's definitely, he's fucking, for sure. There's growth happening after that. Oh, yeah. Like, whenever I give Ryland like a really good present, he's just in the mood. He's like right away, right? because that's esoteris. He likes things.

That's not helping the comments, by the way. That's his love like. What do you mean? What are the comments? That you're like obsessed with materialistic things. Oh, fine. Whatever. That's just you.

At me. But yeah, I feel like if your girlfriend is giving you a grower hoodie because she loves you and your grower so much that she spent money on it, I feel like there's a dick getting sucked. Oh, yeah. To watch a man get into that has to be an aphrodisi act for the partner.

Hoodie on during the act, pants off. So for all the girls that call in and leave voicemails and say, like, I don't know what to do. My husband doesn't want to fuck me anymore. Get him a hoodie. Yeah. She definitely said right after that, and now show me some growth. Let's do this.

Oh, my God. I love it. Okay, and shout out to the single girls out there. This is from Silla, and she said she loves a podcast. Now I got to get. Oh, wait, no, she's not single. Never mind. I didn't actually read the email.

But still shout out to the single girls, though, right? I mean, we don't want to still shout out to you. All the single ladies. Yes. So this is Silla and her farmer hoodie. She said that she loves us and she has to get her boyfriend a grower hoodie now. But she said she doesn't think that he'll wear it sadly. Okay, so we're working on getting him proud.

Well, video tape it. Yeah. Still is very cute. Okay, now let's get to the matchmaking. Are you ready for this? Yes. Okay, this is so exciting. I was freaking out when I got this.

Okay, so this is from Jay. He didn't give his full name, literally just a letter J. Hey, guys, so this might be a long shot, but I'm listening to the podcast where you talked about Eribe, and she sent an email saying she was looking for someone on Bumble to wear grower merch and take cute pictures with. So if you don't remember, here is the Bumble account, or Reba, I think is her name, and she put, I'm honestly just

trying to find somebody who will wear grower and farmer merch and take cute pics by the pumpkin patch. Okay? So he said, I'm here writing to officially inquire. I'm also single, and I'm looking for someone who understands my humor, and I would totally love to be the guy that she takes grower and farmer picks with. Do you think

they're in the same state? I don't know. I'm six foot six. I'm from Los Angeles. I'm a canine behavior. I'm a behaviorist. I would describe myself as a big cuddly bear. Back off. And definitely a grower. I know this is a long shot and hoping I can get Arribes, Arribes attention and say, hi, I would love to be her match. So here's a picture. Are you ready? So Arriba, if you're out there watching. 6-6-a-bear and loves dogs. 6-6-a-bear loves dogs, Chris. So here's him with a dog in his overall. I love to. No bullshit. I think I know that guy. I think I know Jay, dude. Do you really? To hit me up, Jay?

Wait, really? Why do you think you know him? This man looks so familiar to me. No way. Yeah, I think I've met Jay. I think I know Jay, maybe. So this is really exciting because what if, okay, Rebe, if you're interested in Jay, email us Shane Dawson Podcast at gmail.com and put in the subject like matchmaker, just so I see it.

And if you're not a rebate, please don't put that in this. Like, I really want this to work. And I think we should match them up. And what if we have our first podcast marriage? I guess we've already had a baby. That would be the best case scenario. Isn't C.C. married? Oh, you're right.

But they didn't meet through the podcast. We basically coached her through her relationship, I would say. That was like we accompanied, we assisted it. How far are you willing to go? Like, are you willing to fly them both out here and put them on the couch for the first day? For the first fucking beat? How crazy? I just see a like a 1% chance this could end up like as one of the creepiest moments in video history.

Like it all started with the fun. I want to meet her. Yeah, like a true crime. I am so down. But you know what? We don't know until we get there. True. Let's fly him in.

I like Jay. Jay looks like a nice guy. All I know is that a rebate, I haven't seen much of her. Well, Jay's local, so that's easy. Yeah, we need to get a rebate on a flight. Well, Jay and a rebate, I hope this works out, and I'll keep you guys updated to see where this goes. Yes. Okay.

Are we ready for some voicemails? Hi, Shane. It's Ali. I'm from North Carolina. So I've been to a fight with my boyfriend. Basically, I found it a problem that he can up and just go hang out with his friends and, like, plan it last minute and do everything. But he can never plan a simple date with me, like, even if it's just going to McDonald's or... Am I wrong for being mad at him from that?

I love all of you guys. Thank you so much. Bye! Okay. I love the simple date idea to McDonald's. Yeah. You should put up on that, Shane. Yeah, I'm mad at him, too, girl.

I'm pissed. I'll come over there. Now that I'm thinking about it, have you ever... plan to date for me oh please i don't think you have yeah name one railing that's crazy even to macdonalds yeah even to macdonalds you're trying to turn this around on me when i just said you could do something as simple as take me to macdonalds i take you on so many dates this isn't about us this isn't about us um i would say that that's really cute and i hope that you tell him that because i feel like if you told him that he would want to do it or maybe i don't know husbands are idiots i think

when it comes to uh men you know sometimes we need to be told what you want in order for for us to be able to fulfill that. And if you bring it up. You men like to say that. And then as a woman married to a man, I got to say, I say it a lot. And it never results in a McDonald's date. But that's only because men are scientifically proven to be trash.

Right. I think if you said I'll suck your dick. Right. If you take me to McDonald's for a date. But then is that not romantic? I've said that so many times. delivering that now I have to suck the drink before I get the date and then my husband feels used which is insane it's like my dog I can't just say I'll give you I can't I can't just say come on

go to bed treat treat you got to I have to produce on the treat you do if I and she knows that I haven't a few times so she'll wait for me I'm so happy until she sees the treat in the hand oh my god but to be fair I feel like you would if Sandy said I feel like you're the type of person that would yeah well I would especially now I'm kind of holding my feet to the fire on it You know, I feel like I got you. But yeah, I think you just have to express yourself and give him an opportunity to either prove you right or wrong that he does care. What's like a fun little, because I feel like you are kind of a love doctor in a way. Like you're a very loving guy.

So what would you say is a simple, cheap, nice, loving, cheap trick of a date? I think just go some, I mean, obviously dinner or something is the easy one. But take her somewhere fun, maybe like with some good people watching, maybe the beach if you're in North Carolina. and just go from there, you know. I like to have an outside adventure, and I'm a big observer. So I like to go places where there's a lot of people and hang out. Next voicemail. Hey, my name is Pamela, and I'm searching for some legal advice

because I found a tooth in my sandwich earlier at McDonald's, and I just don't know what to do. So let me know. And I love how gay y'all are. I'm not gay. Okay, first of all, thank you. We love that. Okay.

Did she say a tick? A tooth. First of all, I thought it was a tick. I have dreamed about this. I have manifested this. Every time I go to fast food, I pray for this. If you find, here's a problem, though, is you waited too long. If you go to McDonald's and if you find a tooth in your burger, you instantly, you're on live.

You're taking pictures of it. You're calling the cops. You're doing all that because you literally could get like. I don't know. I think karma's going to come back to you. You could literally get like $20 million. You literally could win so much money in a lawsuit. When?

Yes. If you get a tooth in your food, but you waited too long. So now nobody's going to believe you. I've never wanted a tooth. Yeah, I was going to say, I feel like the window of opportunity has kind of closed for you. Is this tooth specific? I would go through the kitchen and ask everyone to give me their best smile. I honestly more about me.

Like, hey, give me an open about smile. I'd be like, this motherfucker. Yes. That is so gross. I used to. So when I was a kid, a woman at McDonald's, somebody spilled hot coffee on her. And she literally won like $20 million because he burned her. Oh, yeah.

Every time I've been to coffee, every time I've been to McDonald's since I was a little kid, I was, like, praying. Like, somebody spilled coffee on me or somebody. Maybe. Dude, that would be such a funny prank to go through the drive-thru and make your window like the biggest obstacle day into a coffee. Like, come on hand it to me? Yeah, right here, right here. When you order it, you're like, can I get the hottest possible coffee with the shakiest hand? They actually did the, like, I asked Starbucks one time to make the drink extra hot because it was going to take a while to get it home.

And they have a limit they could heat it up to, and they can't do any harder than that. It's like 120 degrees, I believe, is the hottest they can get the liquid. Wow. Yeah. Well, shout out to you and I hope that you get $20 million because if you do, that would be iconic. I'd go public and go public right now. Yes, right now, although this podcast is going up late. I feel like it doesn't matter.

Do you still have the tooth? Hang on to that tooth, sister girl. Yeah, because you could get a DNA tested maybe, right? Yeah. It could have meat particles in it. You're going to have to prove you got it from McDonald's too. I hope you did something about that. Okay.

What did she do? She asked you guys. Hey, sorry to interrupt again, but I want to give some love to our sponsor of the day, which is Hair Story. Okay, don't go anywhere. You're going to want to hear this because this is going to change your head. Your hair. How's your head? No complaints.

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without a beanie on, which I wasn't for about a week. And we're back, maybe. All right. Enjoy the rest of the show. Okay. I'm so excited because we have a special treat today. So, okay, here's what happened. About a year and a half ago, maybe two years ago,

Rylan said, guess what? I'm making a Christmas movie with Lizzie. And I was like, what? And he's like, yeah, we want to make one of those terrible, like, Netflix, Hallmark. It's the best. Loving the pitch so far. Have you seen what Netflix is putting? out at Christmas. This would be, this would be a treat. So, yes. So he was telling me about it and I was like,

oh, that's fun. And he's like, yeah, we want to like make a Kickstarter and like talk about it on our podcast. Can you let me finish this? Well, you're telling the story wrong. We wanted to get straight up funding. I don't want to kickstart. That sounds like so much work. Really? I think that's fun because it's about the movie. I'm not going to give it away. But the Christmas movie is kind of about you guys being podcasters and then crazy things happen on Christmas. And I was like, oh, you should do a Kickstarter or something so the audience can be a part of it and help produce the movie with you, whatever. So don't do it if you don't want to. Anyways.

But if you guys are down, green light it below. So Lizzie wrote a full script, like a movie script. I think I read it like a year ago. And she's a writer. And yeah, it's really, it's a really good script. So I was like, it's a Christmas episode. You guys should read a scene from the movie and give us all apart. And then we should read the scene and see if it sucks or not.

Or no, if it's good. And here's the thing. Like, I wish we would have had a week to decide. side on a great scene because the thing is if we want to include you and give you characters like we can't be shining so you guys have been having this idea for over a year and a half and you don't know what a good scene in it is that could be a problem i think more than anything it's just that there's not a scene where there's five shining we wanted to include you and give you all parts and a lot of the scenes are between the two of us i'm an asshole i'm sorry right so okay what characters are we

okay so you can be zach rylan okay so chris you can be wyatt okay i love that name so why it Is this fucking Adonis? Like, he's just hot as shit. What's Adonis mean? Oh, like a hot, like a perfect man. Like, he's very hot. He's chiseled. He's tall.

It's also a Drake's son's name. I don't think I should be white then. Yes. You're not with that attitude, Chris. You better step up, but he's also very in touch with his emotions and he's a sweet boy. Oh. Okay. So, Jared, I think you can be Gigi.

Nice. The grandma. And the nurse. And the nurse. Oh, two roles. Yeah. Do we ever talk to each other, though? No, no, no.

Don't worry about it. You have to change your voice for each. Shane, I think is the doctor. Okay. Shane, you're the doctor and narration. A narration. Okay. Oh, well, that's too much.

Why? Do you mind being both? Can you handle the load? Yes, talented. That's what she said. Okay. Okay, and then I think that settles it. Oh, so this is inspired by Rylan's fear of getting a boner at the doctor's office.

Which is a true thing. Yeah. Can we also talk about the actual what the movie is about? Oh, okay. So the movie is about a character named Lily who has some big high school trauma. She got traumatized in high school. She took the Jerry early and hasn't been back to her hometown ever since. And the Zach character is inspired by Rylund.

And he is desperate for like a home for the holidays moment with like a family and a hallmark moment. Because my family is like absent. Yeah. Right. So the Lilly character was traumatized by a bully. And she goes back home to sort of ruin his life the way that he ruined hers. I love that. Toxic.

But what accident like and her plan is to. to just sort of hate fuck him to get revenge. Whoa. And then it turns out. And then Zach accidentally fucks him and falls in love with him. And so the secret is that Zach's in love with the bully. This is good. Yeah, no, it's a good movie.

It's great. Yeah. So set up the scene, Lily. Okay. So Zach has been fucking the high school bully. Okay. Is it a bully a male or female? It's a male.

Okay. That's gay. He's Ryland's gay. But she doesn't know that and she's seeking vengeance. Yeah. So, and he's not, I can't like the Lilly character. can't know that he fucked the bully because it would ruin her life.

Where is this scene take place in the movie? Where are we at here? What just happened is Rylan's character, Zach, shot Lily in the hand with a nail gun. And so now they're in the hospital dealing with that. I've actually done that. I've shot myself with a nail gun. Nice.

You get it. I'm going to use it. I've done it. I can't believe you've never told us about that. It'll happen. Are we all ready? I'm nervous. I'm so nervous.

Because I haven't read this in a long time. Me neither. And I'm nervous. Okay. And if it's good, start a Kickstarter. Yeah, you're barely in this evening. And if it sucks, don't. Oh, my gosh.

Okay, ready? Yeah. Interior, the exam room later. Nurse one leads Wyatt in. Lily, Zach, and Gigi follow. The doctor will be right with you. The nurse's eyes linger on Wyatt as she leaves. Wait, Wyatt as she leaves.

Because Wyatt's super hot. So the nurse leaves and she's like, I fucking Wyatt on our way out. Oh, got it. Yeah. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. Lily sits on the bed.

Wyatt goes to her. How can I best support you in this moment? Just chill. Anything for you. The doctor in his 50s enters. Zach aggressively mouths his Don't Get Hard mantra. All families here, huh?

They are not my family. Okay. Zach's dick gets hard. Fuck! He wheels Gigi in in front of him to hide it. Ew. Doctor goes to Lily.

All right, let's see the damage. He unwraps her hand and her rusty nail is still. in her palm. Oof, nail gun. Lily nods. All right, well, we'll clean this up. Give you a tetanist shot and hope for the best. Lily turns gray. Sorry, did you just say shot? Yeah, that's a very rusty nail. I'll risk it. Really? Mm-hmm. Do you know the risk? Lily shrugs. Death. The risk is death. That's it? Oh, you're being silly. The doctor gathers his shot supplies.

I don't do shots. Sorry for shouting. Fighter flight kicks in and I get a little bit crazy. You'd rather die slowly and painfully over the next few days? No. That's what I thought. The doctor prepares a shot. You've got this. Aside, Gigi wheels away from Zach. Does Gigi have lines?

Okay, they're coming. Gigi wheels away from Zach. He pulls her toward him. The two of them have a hushed argument. I got to pee. Don't you wear a diaper? That's offensive assumption. All right now.

Just look away. The doctor turns around with a needle. Lily jumps on the exam table. I'm so sorry. Lily kicks him. G.G. Wheels away. Zach pulls her back. Stop it.

You. I don't mean to be this way. I'm calling security. Call whoever you want. They'll never take me alive. Lily leaps to the door. Wyatt grabs her mid-air and then lays her down on the bed and gets on top of her. His body weight acts like the Temple Grandin.

What? Like a temple... It's an autistic thing. What? Okay. It's okay. Like a Temple Grandin squeeze machine. She shushes her.

Wait, what does that mean? Is my, am I going to get canceled? Am I going to get canceled? I don't know. We're just reading the lines. I'm reading the lines. Wait, the amount of people I've sent this to. Is this movie going to get funded?

What's happening here? He shushes her. Do I have any lines? No, shut up. You bitch. You can't have. Everyone's impressed. Why?

I learned this working with Farrell wolves. They just want to be held. He leans into Lily's ear. You are a strong, capable woman who can do anything she sets her mind. to. Lily's jello. The doctor's also jello. Wyatt clears his throat. The doctor remembers his purpose and gives Lily the shot. She whimpers as the doctor puts a bandaid on her. I'm allergic to the adhesive on band-aids. Oh, he rips it off. Ouch. Gigi wheels away. Zach tries to hold her in place, but she breaks free. Zach's got a boner and I got a pee.

Hey, that's good. Everyone looks at Zach's boner. Gigi rolls out. I'm not gay. You're not gay? I am, but my boner's not. Oh, okay, well, then. Zach takes in the moment. That's it. What else could there be? I guess I've never really considered what else would happen

after I got hard at the doctors. What? Zach's boner goes away. I'm cured. Thank you, doctor. Thank you. Do you have time for a quick physical? It's all set up earlier.

I think we all genuinely laughed. I think Jared got me. Gigi got me. Yeah. I told you it was a shining role at the end, Jared. I think you put Jared in like an old lady prosthetics and like a wig and everything. I think we should all be in this movie.

Oh, yeah. I'm down. Yes. It might be the only option. That's good. I'm not. Just joking, guys. Come on.

If you guys want to see a coming out Christmas, I know I do, there, I haven't convinced them yet, but there is a Kickstarter. You think so? Somewhere on the screen. You should, why not? Fuck it. And if no one donates closing. we have to make this movie. I think so, too.

You could always do the thing that happens, like, a lot nowadays with horror movies where you make, like, a short that goes super viral and then the feature. You know what I mean? I don't think that happens for shitty Christmas movies. Like, you know, it worked for whiplash, but this isn't really a whiplash. Imagine December 2024. It's happening, guys. I can feel it.

Dude, I freaking help. You shouted the whole movie to me at the airport when we were waiting in line. Chris doesn't read my scripts. I just tell him scene for scene while we're waiting in security lines in airport. You should do that. at Starbucks and see if like a producer's in the building and just see if they'd notice you. But when she did that and I heard it like with your enthusiasm and you're a very good storyteller, like I was like, this is great.

Like I really want to watch this. Thank you. All right. We're going to take a quick little break and we come back. Conspiracy theories and Conspiracy Kitchen. See you soon. Blame me how I won't focus. Yes.

Ooh. Oh, I didn't see you there. I was practicing for my arena tour. Tickets are very, very expensive. They're going very fast. I mean, luckily, if you get tickets on Sea Geek, you'll save a lot of money. You will leave the concert with temporary hearing damage from my whistle notes, but the experience will be worth it.

What am I doing? I'm not on tour. That was supposed to be a joke. And I can sing better than that. I was like trying to be like, you know, look how bad I am. But like, okay, hold on. No, I'm not going to do it. Okay, I'm not the best performer in the world.

But you know who is Drake, Bad Bunny, so many other artists who are currently on. on tour in concert and you know where you can get tickets for them? See what I did there. So thank you so much Sea Geek to sponsoring today's episode. If you don't already know, which I'm sure you do, because people have been talking about Sea Geek for years. They are literally the number one rated ticketing app in the world with over 28 million downloads and over 70,000 events every single day.

It's not just concerts. It's pretty much anything that you need a ticket to go to, comedy shows, anything entertainment, Seekek will have it there for you. And they offer you the best prices. And they do it in a very smart way. We've talked about this before. they rate their ticket prices from 1 to 10. So if you go on the app and you're looking at a concert, you'll see little red dots.

Little red dots mean, no, do not get this ticket. It's way overpriced, not worth it. The green dots mean this is a great price and you should get it. And every ticket is backed by their buyer guarantee. And Seatkeek is the only site that lets you return your tickets ahead of the event with swaps. So if you're looking for a concert to go to or you just want to check out the website and see what's going on. Use code grower and you will get $20 off of your tickets. So download the Seatkeek app or just go to the link in my description below.

click on that, download the app, and use CodeGrower for $20 off of your tickets. And let me know, if you use this and you go to a show or something, send me an email to Shane Dawson Podcast Stuff at gmail.com, and let me know. What did you see? How was it? How did it compare to my notes? All right, you guys, I think that's, is that the last ad of the day? It is.

Okay, this is it. I'm not going to see you guys for a while. Oh, this is, I'm going to like cry. This is sad. Okay, no, it's happy, though. So yeah, I probably already said this in the actual podcast, but thank you guys for such an incredible year. I'm so grateful.

this year has been just so beautiful and fun and creative and I don't know I just loved it I loved doing the podcast I loved making videos and like it was just a really good year and thank you guys for being so supportive and yeah okay wish me luck uh this is gonna be crazy and I'll see you guys in the new year with babies I don't know if I'll show them I don't know what's going to happen with that but that's good that whole thing is crazy this is okay so as it is currently we're about three weeks away so wish me luck okay I hope you guys enjoy the rest of the show. Bye!

I have a little gift for everybody here. A little video from our favorite buzzkill. This is the new peppermint mocha swirl here at Dunkin' Donuts. It has a record breaking 186 bucks in that sugar. It's kind of hard to visualize sometimes. So visualize this, my friends. It's the same amount of sugar as... No way.

No. One drink. That's insane. Need another frame of reference? It has that much sugar. Whoa. Six and a half teaspoons of white cane sugar in a freaking coffee. Now, read the comments sometimes,

and people say, Bobby, are they trying to kill us? They kill us. We can't be consumers of their products. True. Hooked on their food, so we're fat, sick, and nearly dead. That way we keep on my next book. This is insane This is a prime example

I can't believe they're not kicking him out At the end he's taking a sip Delicious That would be the best We have our Peppermint Swirled Dunkin Killers The fact that you got each of us A Fat One is crazy

My favorite thing about this guy Is he's doing this Right in the store Right in there No fucks given He doesn't get about fuck Oh dude He brought that sugar from home

Or do you think he opened up individual packets in the store I don't think anyone goes to Dunkin' Donuts thinking I wonder if this is good for me Worth that This could kill someone, but love it. Yeah, but dude, we got two licensed CPR people in the building, so...

If you have a hardtack or start checking, we got you. Don't drink this at home. If you have an allergic to this. Oh, wait, I'm allergic to this. No, don't worry because this was done by professionals and in the, you know, we had the medical people. I also have, for reference, I have little munchkins here. I've never had one of these. So these are a little Dunkin Munchkins.

So remember, there's 10 times this amount in one cup. You know what? I don't have to worry about this anyways because Duncan kind of sucks and their donuts are really stale. Okay. Have you ever got a fresh donut at Duncan? You're lying if you're saying yes.

I don't know. Wow. This was a gift. Thank you, Jing. All right, here we go. Thanks for killing us. Oh, tasty high note. Oh, hi, don't mind me.

I'm practicing my new baritone sacks. I just heard PayPal's paying for people's stuff. Every day for 100 days and there's 10 million up for grabs. All you have to do is use PayPal checkout online. So there's never been a better time to buy a few things off the old wish list. Like this leaf floor! PayPal could pay for your purchase. The Great PayPal Checkout.

No purchase necessary ends July 18. It's the official rules at PayPal.com slash the great PayPal checkout slash terms. Participating merchants only must use PayPal checkout online. Coverage of up to $100 in eligible purchases per cart. Okay, mine is bland. No, you know, right when you were saying bland, I thought, there is a hint of flavor like on the center of my tongue, but it's barely hitting my palate. I'm allergic.

I kind of love it. Oh, shit. Is that what I'm feeling? I don't know. My tongue is burning. They put this much sugar and not have that much flavor. I immediately feel it in my jaw. Really?

Yeah. Is that good? And I'm ready to murder with my bare hands. Whoa. Yeah. I don't taste anything. Okay, I will say, though, I hate men. I'm literally allergic to me.

I know, I do know that. I don't know if I'm allergic. Kind of a lie. My skin's allergic to men. Oh, that's true. Well, I don't think taste-wise. Skin allergy, yes, for sure. But wouldn't I have both?

I don't think so. I don't know what do you mean taste wise so if I like if mint touches my body I turn like yeah right red it's all my usual it can't be good if I put it in my body either way I don't like the drink can you hand it love it okay am I throwing the munchkin try to get in his mouth yeah good idea that's fine okay ready oh these are you got to open your mouth Lizzie's offering an opening oh my god yeah yeah wait both open both open oh this is fun I love it okay oh my Oh, that was so hard, dude.

That was not hard. Here, I think I could get one into Lizzie's mouth from here. Are you okay? Wait, I just tossed it. Are you okay? Wait, are you okay? Well, here, let me see when Lizzie. Do you think I can make one in your mouth from here?

Yes. Okay. I want to do it. Most fun we've had a lot of day. The powder sugar donut is so delicate. These are like rocks. Are you sure about this? I tossed it.

I really didn't throw it at hard. All right, guys, watch. Lobbing. I'm scared. Oh, it sounds, it sounds like a brick. That was close. I feel like that was... There's nothing a lot of my face. Her boy, did we hit the same place on her fucking face?

You both hit her glasses. Chris, do you want to throw in Lizzie? Come on, thank you. Lizzie, do you want to throw into me? Do you want to make a fair? Do you want to throw one at Jared? These are good. But, Ryland, to prove your point, that sounded hard as fuck.

All right, here, Lizzie, come on. Let's redeem ourselves here. Do you want to try? Oh, yeah. We got to. Move that mic out of the way. I mean, I don't know if I'm a forehead commit like you, but you guys have munchkin blockers. Are you ready?

Yeah. Oh, I was so close. Yeah. That was good. That was all you, though, Jerry. We didn't do it, buddy. Yeah, I'm fucked up. Stale Dunkin' Donut product I've ever had.

And they feel like rocks. That's not saying something. Have you seen the TikTok trend where they throw soft serve ice cream at each other? I've seen one where the girl throws it at her head. I thought that was so funny that I wanted to do it with Rylan, but my dumbass wasn't thinking and I got hard. He threw it at me. He threw it at my throat so hard.

I didn't mean to. My throat was injured for days. Wow. And it was so good. Yeah. Wow. Okay. Well, anyways, I'm going to show you a reel that I found.

that even me, the sick fuck I am when it comes to my drinks. This is too far. Here we go. Oh, no. All right, y'all, hear me out. The other day on TikTok, I saw someone mixing Kool-Aid and milk together. Well, I do have some milk that I need to use before it goes back. No.

No. I don't have any cool, I do you have an orange vanilla meo, so I thought, let's give it a try. It's homo-o-vote. Literally. He went, no. That was crazy, home-of-pop. Mio, so maybe this will taste like an orange cream sickle. I don't know how much to put, so we're going to try that.

It looks kind of delicious. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck. So this is a thing now, I guess, meals and milk. Oh, shit. Milk alone is going to make me bar. It's pronounced milk.

Milk. I actually, for some reason, feel like, this won't be bad. So there's another girl I saw who did berry flavored. Ooh. Is this too bad? I don't know. It grosses me out. I love meals. I put everything in my water that shouldn't be. This shit is too fucking far.

Yeah, this is. Are you allergic? Which flavor? Oh my God, yes. I'm choosing orange vanilla and milk sounds good to me. Do you know those orange creams? Right. That's what it reminds you. Okay. Jared, what are you going to do? I have orange of vanilla as well. Here, Jared, try black cherry. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. Oh. Ew. It's not like mixing, really. Loki, this does smell delicious. It does? Are you a milk drink? Oh, no, it doesn't. Oh. Mine's curdling at the top. It's gurdling. I don't have a mixing agent. She like can't wait. She's salivating.

Are you ladies ready? Yeah. Okay, here we go. It's going to be chunky. Oh, it's good. See, I knew it. It's like an orange. Creamsicle. It is. The consistency makes me want to, yeah. It is. No, how about this? No. The flavor all in all is good, but the way that I got there makes me disgusted with the flavor once I get there, you know? I get that. I don't even taste the milk. It's like peptobesmal. It's exactly. That's a really good way to put it. It's like pink bismuth. You like it? It just, it tastes like not as good as an orange creamsicle, but kind of like an orange creamsicle. You know what? Here's our grand finale. More food. Oh my God. The final food related thing of the year. What? This is the final episode of the year.

I don't know if we said that, but it is. Bye. What? Okay, so yeah, this is it, baby. Here we go. Here is a real, that is real fucking disgusting. Oh, I can't trust her. I hate it already.

No. No. No. Not the point. This is trigger warning ED. She literally gagged. Did you see that? Look at her.

She's dancing. Why did she? Gagged. Also cut to her in the bathroom eating her own shit like that. My favorite part, and listen, like, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not for hate comments. She's making her nasty. I'm not for hate comments, but the comments were very good on this. There is just people saying, I will literally kill myself.

This is. So he said, that's white-ass shit. Yeah, dude. She's trying to keep herself from throwing up with that chuckle. She gagged. I'm telling you. Someone just said, don't piss me. Oh my God

I'm sweating over those comments Oh my God Oh come on Two pieces of cheese No I'm gonna I'm gonna do a rend I'm just gonna put a piece of cheese

In my mouth And then no you gotta make the pillow The cheese is honestly gonna be a palette cleanse To what we just drank All I want to do is slagin This cheese is not even like Actual cheese This is like making a wonton

The problem with this cheese Is one time I got a piece of of it that was hard and I tasted a crunch. And I got PTSD cheese from it. Are you ready? They're not real cheese. No, they're not. Oh, my fuck.

Did you smell it? No. I love the smell of a crack single. I want it so bad. Okay, here we go. Jared already ate it. I want it so bad. I love real cheese, but this doesn't smell like.

Oh, no. I don't, Jared, if you start gagging it, I can't do it at all. Wait, really? I can't do it. Oh, no, oh, no. Oh, wait. Oh, no. Did he throw up?

It's good. I like it. It's really good. Oh, my God. You got to check the couch after that. Did he throw? You might need to check the couch, brother. No, no, no.

I don't know if it's fall away. Oh, the taste won't go away. I thought it was not that bad. No, it's bad. I'm about to eat this much. I don't know if I can swallow it. It's munchkin. I didn't even think it was that bad.

I just missed my pants. Whoa. Thank you, girl, who's just, I hate you. I'm sure you're nice, but oh my God. Wow. Where I guys go? That was the. You okay, Jared?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I just. Okay. Sorry. You okay. Okay. Welcome to Conspiracy Corner.

We have some really good ones today. This first one is. insane. Are you ready for this? I got cheese in my teeth. I bet you guys all thought these glasses were real. Our first conspiracy. I know I was going to say, was that in? This is insane.

Okay, I got sent this by a few people to the email. This is really crazy. We have found the Rylan Dopplganger of all time. Hit me with it. Are you ready for this? Is it good enough that you would mistake him for me?

Yeah. Him? Oh. Is it you here right now? Was I ever really here? And if you deny this, you're a fucking liar. Ready? Let me see. Oh my God.

Whoa. Oh my God. Whoa. That is literally you. I facetuned you so many times. I know exactly what you look like. She's got a better upper lip than me, but it's like the prettier version. Fuck you.

That is literally you. It is. How are you not? The eye. No, no, no, no. It's like 9.9.9 out of it. a 10. That is crazy. It's as close as you're ever going to get. I need to see a video of this person. Who is this person? And is she living a better life than me? It looks like she's in a high

fashion ad. Yes. It's like she's a Louis Vuitton. And I'm sitting here like this. I mean, to be honest, she's in great. I wouldn't be surprised if those were black paper bags that they're doing a fashion. We could probably make that right now. I want her life. Okay. So that is Nicole Link Letter. She did so much like you to me that I'm wondering if that is literally is you. That's what I said. Or, Ryland, can we confirm. I've been meaning to tell you guys about my holiday campaign. You wish. Can we confirm you're not a twin?

Vicki. Bruce. I guess she was on America's next top model. Oh. Oh, thank you guys. What season? What's her name? Nicole Lincoln.

Wow, I watched her season. I know who that is. Yeah. Okay, well, this next theory is actually something that Jared brought up. Ooh. Okay. Jared, do you remember last time you were here, you were telling me about mystery-flavored airheads.

Yes, I do. Okay, this blew my mind. Tell them about it. So basically, the mystery flavor in airheads is what they do is they have piping that pumps all the flavoring through and into their concoctions. And instead of cleaning it out, at some point, they just put all of the piping into the same mix. And that's the mystery flavor. So it's all the like leftover remnants. Exactly.

It's like what's left in those tubes that they push through. all into one mix because by itself it wouldn't be enough. So it's just mixed. And it's not. Which I also love. And it hasn't been colored yet. So that's why it's just white. So all airheads are just white and then they get, I guess that makes sense.

Yeah. So the color is nothing really to do with the flavor. No, the color, yeah. So the idea is it's a mystery because they haven't, they didn't color it so you could guess. But really it's just, it's a cheaper airhead to make. This has to be like. It's literally like the McRib. Like isn't the McRib?

We've talked about this before, but isn't the McRib literally just like they take all the meat that's left over on the floor and they put it all together. Ugh, is that been proven? Okay, so let's see if we can guess what the flavors are in it. Because what are normal area of flavors? Oh, my God. I haven't had one of these. I thought these were expired or extinct.

It kind of tastes like soap or something. I love them. Right? It's all good till we tasted it. Yeah, the flavor isn't incredible. So are they all different flavors? Right. So they're probably all not the same because they're all from like old machines.

If it's a mystery, they've got to be different, right? You know what? I should have planned this out properly. I should have, because I bought a box of airheads. I should have combined all the flavors and. And they try it and see what a missed opportunity. This looks like the lady that did the jizzy jewelry made this. Oh, my God.

Literally. I got it in my mouth. Okay, so the flavors are, okay, we have cherry, grape, watermelon, orange and blue raspberry. You know what's crazy is now that I just said them all out loud. You could taste them in your mouth. I taste all of them. Yeah. I don't taste the grape.

Holy shit. That's a fun game. The grape one's a really strong flavor and I do not taste it in this bitch. I should make my uncle like jare heads. I hella taste blue raz. Mm-hmm. Do you want to throw that in my mouth too? Okay.

This is going to break my glass. Fair enough. I've washed my hands in the past day. Oh, God. Oh, that's a good thing I knew CPR. I was so hard. There you go with the assist. Oh, wow.

That was an alley-you. It's delicious. All right, I'm going to take a bite of all the flavors together and see if it tastes like a mystery. You're so silly. Sounds like no matter what it will. I want to bite that so bad. It goes! There's no way it's not good.

Wait, throw it over here. Does it taste like the mystery? Are you sure? She really wants it. Does it taste like the mystery? Ow, that. Right in the mouth. You begged for it.

It's going to be covered in Santa Hare. It is. Ew. It really fucking tastes like the mystery one. Really? Exactly. Confirmed. Myth confirmed.

We know exactly how you make it airheads. Now make a jared head flavor. I think the mystery's a little more elegant than that. Well, I did mush it together with my hands and throw it at your face. This is more. Different experience. This is more intense than the mystery. This next theory is going to really piss off Ryland.

Are you ready for this? I'm going to be cool, calm, and collected. I'm practicing staying chill. It's not about that. We're done with the dress. We're done? For this year. Oh.

Until new news comes out, we're done. Okay, this was from Eden. So, Eden sent me an email, and she said, did you know that you're not allowed to film in Target or Walmart anymore? And there's a reason why. It's because grocery stores and Target and Walmart, they send undercover employees to their competitors, especially the ones doing better or getting better sales in them. And they film and take videos of the store shelves so they can see and steal their product

placement strategies. So literally, okay, literally this week, we went to Target. Ryan was filming for his vlogmas and we were in the Christmas section. And for the first time I think ever, ever, Walmart always never lets us film. Target has always welcomed it. And I always thought, this is a genius move on their end to just let us do what we want and let everyone do what they want because it's free marketing. Like, so many vloggers make Target videos and they do really well. Like Target videos do well.

Yeah. And literally, it's because they thought we were secret undercover people from Walmart. And I was so thrown out. She was like, no filming in here. And I was like, really in Target? Like, I've never been told that. She's like, no. And then I kind of got mad because I was like, this is fucking Target.

I've done this five years. Which makes sense because when we used to work at Jenny Craig, they would. have secret shoppers and they would come in and they were fake clients and one time I had a secret shopper come in and I was really nervous and I was doing really bad because I had never sold a program before or whatever and then she stopped me and she goes I'm a secret shopper and I'm going to let you start all over again because that was really bad and you're really sweet so I want to give you a chance and I was like oh it was scary were you like this is my first day I mean it wasn't but but I had those waiting tables too like they'd send in like that's a good job to go to restaurants

for free and judge the service life hack you should pretend to be a secret shopper yes go to restaurants so that they give you good service they took it very serious like if you got a bad secret shopper as a waiter it's like two and you're out me and sandy have actually done that a few times we have like certain conversations say let's talk as if we were like critiquing the food you know what I mean I'll even use my fork and knife how I see Gordon Ramsey do it so they think holy shit dude you see that guy's fucking forked it I think he's a chef secret shopper that's genius well there you guys go a conspiracy and a Jeep.

Oh, hold on. Don't go anywhere. Please do not skip this ad because I have some life updates. This is a couple weeks after I filmed the last ad. So I know on the end of that ad, I was like, oh my God, I'm not going to see you guys for a while, all that. Well, here I am. Rocket Money.

Thank you so much, Rocket Money. I'll get to that in a second. But let me give you some life updates. So it is really close right now, obviously Christmas Tree. It is really close right now. We are on call. I don't know what is happening. At any moment, we could have to get on a plane to go meet our babies.

It's all so crazy. we'll talk about it in the next episode but yeah i don't know i'm just excited to see what happens like am i going to be a different person like once i'm a dad am i going to be like not the same me so this truly could be the last time you meet me as this version of me is that crazy why am i thinking about this i should get to the ad i just want to give you a little life update also yes i'm wearing my merch i'm still wearing it i wear this pretty much every single day and i love it so thank you guys so much for supporting this merch. I know I filmed the last ad before, but as of now, this ugly color that Ryland was like offended by and that people around me were like, are you sure? You

guys made this the top selling thing on my site. So thank you guys. That's so very nice. I'm so excited. I've never said so very nice in my life. What was that? I told you I'm changing. So yeah, I'm so happy that you guys love this ugly, bold, crazy color collab. Okay, anyway, sorry. Back to Rocket Money. So yes, if you don't already know, Rocket Money is an all in one. finance app that makes you save more and spend less. So I've talked about it before, but the one thing they do that is so incredibly helpful is it help cancel your unwanted subscriptions. I'm sure you are subscribed to so many random things on your phone. Or maybe you're not. Maybe you're like, you know, a very put-together person. I'm not. And when I look to see what I was subscribed to,

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They'll give you tips and ideas. But more importantly, they monitor it. So they will let you know right away because you don't want to be sitting at a car dealership and they run your credit and you're all excited about getting your car. And then they're like, uh, your credit score's really bad. There's something weird on it. And you're like, oh my God, I wish I would have known about that sooner.

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I love them. I trust them. And they're a really great company. Okay. Now, officially, I'm going to say my goodbyes. I hope you guys have an amazing holiday and a good new year and all of that. I'm so excited about life and about everything. And I can't wait to see you again.

Okay. Bye. Okay. This is huge. This is big news. news. Are you ready? Okay. I found another hidden penis in Disney. Oh my gosh. I've been waiting on it. I've been looking for another penis because you guys know, we've talked about it, the little mermaid, the penis on the cover. It's iconic. I have one. The rumor. Penis or the little mermer? Oh, the little penis? And that, whoa.

Is it that what you said? Oh, it is not what he said. No. Shots fired. I think said the little penis on the cover. The little mermaid. He's such a bitch. I did not eat that turn. So, okay, you guys know, we talked about it before. There's a hidden penis. And it's because one of the artists, supposedly it's a myth, but one of the artists was mad at the rates that he was getting paid. So he's like, fuck it, I'm quitting a dick on it. So here is another one.

I cannot believe this one got through. This is crazy. This is a gift card that was in stores everywhere. And as you can see, Minnie Mouse. Whoa. It's a weaner. And Mickey's fucking jerking. Wait, that was really in stores.

I heard a different rende. of why there's so many wieners in the art. It's because it's a game within the illustrators to see who can get the most like sexual references into the final version. So like this person probably was like

bro, you've seen the $100 card? That was me. You know? Like you guys don't owe me money. He's like fully around the penis too. Well, it looks like not only is he jacking it off, but he might lick it. This is turning me on. So Minnie has a fat. Cock. Is that what this is? That cuck's huge.

And look at how the, like, the end of the dick splits into two, exactly like a dick. Do you see what I'm talking about, the split? That's great. Lizzie, are you kidding? Oh, I'm not okay. Yeah, so there you go. That's crazy.

Okay, this is really stupid. It's not a conspiracy. I just saw this on Instagram and I screenshot it because I was like, holy shit. You know, Hey Arnold. Yes. What is he wearing? Hey Arnold, the football head gentleman is wearing yellow.

No. He's wearing a blue shirt with a red collar. Okay. I always thought. And this is stupid. A little hat. A little hat and a shirt. Okay.

I always thought he was wearing a kilt. He was. It's the... You thought so too, right? It's his shirt hanging out the back of his sweater. Okay, I always thought it was a kilt because I was, and I was always waiting for, like, this Scottish episode. Because, like, he looks like he's wearing a kilt to me. But Lizzie's right.

That is literally just his shirt, untucked. I very much see why you would think that. I thought it was a kilt. I thought it was a kilt. I still think it's a kilt. No, it's just his shirt. shirt untucked. I see the collar. How stupid was I as a kid? No, that looks like I was wondering. Literally, what is an idiot? It's just how he's the one that bought a way too big shirt. Okay, I have another Christmas theory. So this was crazy. Have you guys seen the movie the Santa Claus? Of course. About Tim Allen and Santa dies and he takes over, right? Yes. Okay. So before he takes over throughout the movie, they, well, I'm just going to show you. I'm always watching.

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All the Little Elves have been monitoring the family. It's been a few years since I seen the movie, but it's in the, if you watch the movie, you know that they're there. It's not a secret. No. Oh, wow. Really? Yeah, yeah. No, they're not like called out in those scenes, though.

Like, they're very much like a part of the landscape. Yeah. Oh. It's very cool, though. Every Christmas and I've never noticed that. Oh, it's shocking me. He didn't. Yeah.

I never noticed that either. This is not really a theory. I just want to talk about it because it, like, piss me off. But then also, I feel bad for being pissed off. Let me explain. So, as we talked about earlier, the Starbucks Stanley Cup Christmas Collab, it is beautiful. It is red. it's a Starbucks X. Stanley on it. It's everything, right? I've been looking for this

fucking cup for everywhere. It is nowhere. It is gone. It's sold out at every Starbucks. Now, I saw this video of this Starbucks employee unwrapping it. Can I just say I finally Googled it? And it was much less than I expected from what you had been building up. I was dreaming up like this gorgeous cup. It's just a red Stanley cut. Well, yeah, but it's exclusive and fun and cool. Don't ruin my Christmas magic. I'm praying that you'll find it. Thank you. Okay, so here is a little video. Unboxing Starbucks Holiday Stanley Cup.

I'm already pissed off and I think I know why you are too. Okay, so she's opening it. I wish I was her opening up the cup. Oh, look at it. Okay, it is pretty. That's far from Middryland. Okay, now I looked at the comments on this and all the comments were like, okay, basically the consensus is that these Starbucks employees, who I love, by the way, are stealing them, well, they're buying them themselves,

but only for a store. Like, they get four Stanley Cups per store, so the employees are buying them. And then guess what they're doing? This is selling them on eBay. This is crazy. They're reselling them on Poshmark for $300. Good for them.

I know it's genius. So I was mad for a second, and then I was like, wow, I respect the hustle. Literally, $250, $250, $250, $350, $350. Wow. For a cup. for a cup. Don't think I wasn't tempted.

I bet you bought one. So when you have one, I'll know that you spent. Yeah. You'll judge me. Wow. Isn't that crazy? So the store managers are like,

which employees, and then the employees probably duke it out for the four. Fuck yes. Fuck yeah. One of the Starbuckses I went to today, they literally said we only got four. And we bought them. And we fucking bought them.

Sorry. That is wild. Yeah, wow, that's crazy. Um, okay, this is, this is just funny,

but somebody sent me this. This is from, Sandy. Not your Sandy. And she said that this popped up on her Instagram. She wanted to send it to us. So this is crazy. So this is once again,

we're not getting sued. We are good with them. We love them. Shout out Chuckie. Hope you're doing well. But take a look at this. So I went to Chuckie cheese and they're promoting this new pizza. So I'm like,

you know, I'm going to get it. It's cute. This is what they're advertising. Right? This is what I go. Dude, Chuckie cheese at this point, guys, come on. You have some shame, Chuckie.

If you look, you can actually see, like, look at the two olives that are supposed to be eyes. No way. You can see them and look at like the shape. That is trashed. And their pizzas are expensive. You know what? How about this, guys? I'm reconsidering because the more I look at this, it looks like I'm seeing a face.

Where? You know, like, I think this is more our artistic, then we looked at it at first with the lens through. We're not giving it enough credit. This is like Picasso type of. It's Picasso. Look, I'm saving my opinions because we have babies coming. I've never had a problem with the taste.

How do you make a pizza look surreal? The thing, like, I know this is like, you made many videos about this so many times, but like the slices don't fit. There's no good explanation for it. It's crazy. It's crazy. It doesn't make sense. Chris is not the lawyer on the case.

Now, listen, this is, this is stupid. Have you seen this? Okay, there's a Simpsons theory. Have you seen this one yet? What is it? I don't know. I've seen so many Simpsons theories. I thought this was hilarious and I'm honestly a little scary.

It kind of gave me chills. So as you guys know, that's Officer Wigley. Officer Wigley. And then his son, right? Rao. Okay, right. Okay. What if I told you that actually Officer Wiggly's wife cheated on him?

him and if you look in the background, that's the dad. It has to be. Isn't that crazy? Isn't that fucking crazy? Oh, fuck. That's crazy. Because they have the same hair and everything. Whoa.

Holy shit. And they paint pigly or what's his name? Wigley. They make him like a little cuck on the show. Like he's a little pigly wiggy. And it's because his wife was like, yeah, this cuck. And look how nervous the cops are looking at his sight. I know.

Oh, isn't that nuts? Yeah. It's nuts. That's trashy. I know. Makes me want to go back and rewatch. Crazy. Whoa.

I know. Fucking so. Okay. I'm going to show you a quick optical illusion and you guys tell me what you see. Ready? Uh, legs. Uh, there's like something on our legs. Yeah, like.

Oh, okay, never mind then. What is it? I thought they looked like plastic wrapped. What? Oh. Plastic wraps of what? You don't see it? Okay, never mind.

Plastic wrapped? Yeah. But then if you look closer, it's just paint. Oh, I thought it was really. Yeah, I also thought it was shiny. I get what you're saying. I get what you're saying. Like some kind of like, I don't know.

I do. I thought it was like baby oil or something. Like it was shiny, but it's white paint. No, she's white paint. What, Lizzie, what did you see? Oh, I saw the paint because there's paint around her, right? What are we looking at? I thought the white paint was like shine.

This one goes deep. Some woman's legs, right? Is that Ralph's father? This could be the new dress. Can we move on? Okay. Okay. Okay. Let me just do a quick way. And I honestly, don't look like you stupid.

Here we go. The circles don't move. That's a lie. They're not moving. That's a fucking law. No, they're moving. They're not moving. That's a lie. You're not moving.

That's not true. If you crop around it, I buy it. They're not moving. They're not moving. Because look at the space between the base of it and the base of the rectangle and the top of the line. My stupid... But the thickness of them is changing so that...

No, it's not. They're not moving. You guys are fucking idiots. Oh, my God. Wait. Do I hate Ryland? I told you. That is awesome.

I didn't like each other after this. I manifested it. I don't think they're moving. It's an optical illusion, Ryland. So I was watching my favorite show at the moment, how civilians, it's so good. And there was a commercial break. During the commercial break.

And I just thought this was weird. And I feel like this is an invasion of like, codes and ethics and I don't know. No shade. I love the show, right? I don't want to get sued. But this was crazy to me. So I'm watching the show and then this happens.

What more? Hey, Siri. Remind me to watch House of Villains on Thursday. Isn't that crazy? I feel like Ryland. I don't get it. Really? The commercial is activating your phone to set in a reminder to a large.

It literally, it goes, Hey, Siri, set a reminder to watch House of Villains every Thursday. And it's hoping that everybody's phones is like, Okay. Wow. Is that crazy? I can't say we haven't done it before in a vlog where you said, hey, Alexa, subscribe to Ryland blogs.

Okay, that was kind of a joke. Jared did that. That would literally be like, yeah, like, we didn't pay it into an advertising budget to do that. Can I just really quickly say, hey, Alexa, subscribe to Lizzie Gordon's blog. Hey, Siri, send Lizzie Gordon money on cash. I'm only on Ben-Mose, Surrey, don't fuck this up. You know, I got to, I just have. to applaud it yeah right that's fucking genius how has nobody done that I was

house of villains of course they're the first ones to do that course it's fitting yeah okay now this is the final thing this is sad this is the last time we're gonna do this year are you ready we have the final psychopath test oh I gotta get this one I love gotta get this one what fucking year is it let's go Jared did I think 2014 me too what year is it 2020 2020 Three. Is it? Is it 2024?

Do you know what's crazy? What? So many times throughout the year, I won't know what year it is, and I have to Google what year it is all the time. You do? I look. When I write checks, I always look. No way. Yeah.

I like I read or no. He just said, I don't like looking dumb. Literally what the doctor asks. Everything I put on the internet is me looking dumb. If you don't know what year it is, they can literally lock you up. That's like one of the first questions. Who's the first question? Who's the president?

Literally. I don't know. I have to think about that too. Half of the year, I don't know. Okay, here we go. Are you guys ready for the final psychopath test of the year? This is big. Hell yeah, Daddy.

Here we go. Let's do it. Okay. This was sent in by Jasmine. There are two girls eating dinner together. They both ordered iced tea. One girl was very thirsty and drank her's very fast. Then ordered two more and drank those fast as well.

The other girl, she slowly sipped her tea. The girl who drank, One tea slowly died. But the girl who drank all those teas really fast survived. All of the tea was poisoned. So how did the girl survive? The girl that survived had an antidote before or something. Non-psychopath guests.

Damn it. She practiced and built up an immunity. Non-cyclopath answer. Damn. I wish I hadn't spoken so soon. Can I take it back? I'm just trying to think of an answer in general If I wanted to kill a bitch

Yeah, you'd want to show them that like the tea's safe Yeah, so she drank three fast Yeah, the fast part is what's getting me Because only the first one was poisoned No, they were all poisoned She drank them fast, went in the bathroom and threw up No, but that sounds like my 20s Oh shit

Okay, so it would pass through her faster She would pee it out quicker? I don't know Damn, I really wanted to get it. Ready? This is kind of crazy. The poison was only in the ice. She let the ice melt. So the girl that drank it all fast didn't get poison,

but the girl that took forever was sippy, sippy. That's good. Who comes up with these? Psychopaths. I don't know. Isn't it crazy? Never drinking at your house. Well, speaking of the last of the year.

We're going to be back in two weeks. What are you doing? No, we're not. We're having babies. We're taking a break. We'll be back in four weeks. We'll be back in January. No, we'll be back in January.

Take us out with the final recap. The final. Lights camera. My camera action. Ryland's recap is about to happen. Ryland's recap. For today's episode of the Shane Dawson podcast, it's Christmas and Santa's here. Yes.

Why are you judging? Watching that. Is it because my voice cracked? No, it was good. Or you just didn't like the headline. You got a better one? Let's try an all. Wow.

What do you got? How about, well, Santa, what do you got? I'm still stuck on my one line. Oh, holy night. The stars they shine so bright as Lizzie Gordon joins the Shaped on. Yeah. How come I can't get a reaction like that? Maybe you should be better.

I'm just sick of who's been around for a show. Oh, we're CPR certified now. Shane and Rylund are CPR certified. Nice. It's live TV, you got to keep it rolling. Just in time for their twin baby boys to be here for Christmas. If you ever are in an emergency, you definitely want me around. Well, here, let's see.

I think we should we try to redeem ourselves? And if you happen to choke, he could save you. Yeah. All right, well, you got to, okay. Elizabeth Gordon's been trying to catch donuts in her mouth. Oh. Yes! You got a month's kid!

Yes. And because it's Christmas, I thought I could toss to my co-hosts and have them all give you a headline of the year. Shane? Oh, me? Yeah, you. Oh.

Since you think it's so easy to do my job. Wow. And you're so quick to judge me. I would throw that wig away. What did I do wrong? Go back to his reaction to my first line when he went. Oh. Okay, I'm sorry.

I thought it was good. Thank you. Okay. But I'll be that. In today's hot, hot, hot news, we have a new celebrity couple that's brewing up the scene. We have a Rebae and Jay, who Jared knows.

Part of a seat, will they, won't they? Hopefully they do it right on our couch. Do you want my segment? That was incredible. I'm sorry, that was incredible. I'm sorry. No, I wasn't trying to upset. I could never. Thank you, Shane. Jared?

I could never do that. Ooh. In conspiracy news, does Mio actually make milk taste good? Good. The boys and girl try it out, and the answer is, Neh. Yeah? That, yeah?

I felt like I was lagging, and then I needed something major. That would be your catchphrase if you were like a news anchor, and you'd have Mercer said like, Neh on it. Fuck yeah. Mea. Fuck yeah. Fuck me. Chris?

Oh, God. I don't know. On the last episode of the year for the Shane Dawson podcast, we learned that all the boys must have been nice because Santa Claus came to visit and gave us. all personalized cute gifts for all the good night. Nice voice. Wow. My favorite part was, I don't know if I could, oh, me.

I was thinking about it the whole time stressing. You couldn't have told, dude. The more that I look at this, by the way, it's like, so it has everything I love. It has a llama and it has a French bull. I'm not realizing more and more how much I love it. I'm getting somewhat nervous about Ryland returning right now. How is it? Okay, Ryland.

Okay, Ryland. I was going to say, in a first ever event, we had, Jared spit up one of our TikTok kitchen items. That was the closest I've been to actually throwing up. That was. That was wild. I looked over and it was coming out of your mouth.

In an insane way. Like, I'm worried to look at my couch and your plate. Oh, no, you're good. You're good. I sensed the worry for the couch and it's good. It looked a rough on camera. There was a tooth in McDonald's. Lawsuit alert. Girl is coming for McDonald's seeking 20 millie for

the tooth she found in her food two months. ago. You should have got on it sooner, but we're still going to help you out. Yeah. I tried to wake. I can't wait. I backed you out. Oh, Chris came out of his mom please. Yes. He's a butt baby. He's a good news in the year. We've learned that Chris is the first baby to come out of an asshole because he refused to meet a vagina. Well, funny joke. How long does it take Chris's mom to take a dump? How long? Nine months. Quick one. You really think about that You're calling Chris a piece of shit

It's high brown Okay It really is Chris have you had sex with a woman No Really? Is that that shocking? I've had sex with a woman

I've gotten head And I tried to go down for a little bit That's not very gay Chris I couldn't But I tried my hardest Oh Starbucks employees are scamming up And quite possibly the biggest scam of the year, we have learned the Starbucks employees

are stealing the only four Stanley X Starbucks cups that arrive to every store and turning them around on Poshmark for $250. Like 10 times the value market price. Not all Grinchers are green. Some would say it's genius. That sounded like something you'd see a home goods. Like on a sign like, not all Grinchers are green. They wear green aprons, so they are green.

Oh, I see. Oh, my God, the biggest news of the day. What? You guys are writing and starring in a movie with a Kickstarter. Yes. A very Merry Christmas, it is. Ryland and Lizzie are starring in their very own Christmas movie that hopefully you all are funding.

If we're confident in it, there will be a Kickstarter live now, and you'll be able to find the link to it in the description section below. If it's not there, we decided we're not doing it. Can you imagine what if you guys get like $10 million? That would be, and I can't get my movie. If you know somebody, I know somebody that knows somebody that makes movies at Netflix, Hallmark, or Lifetime, call your girl. And if every one of you just drops a single fucking dollar in that Kickstarter, we will make this movie. One dollar from all of you.

That's all it takes. Wow. I was just going to say, if it was literally $1, how many people follow you? That would be a big budget. I'm having a sugar overdose. Yeah, she was very anti-the-Kickstarter, and that was very good. Do you know how many airheads? A lot of munchkins

Well, Merry Christmas, everyone Merry Christmas to all And to all the good night I thought that was a wonderful time Spent with friends and family Are you guys okay? What's happening? Make sure you're subscribed to everyone here

Following us all on Instagram Jared has a daily podcast now Chris is uploading more frequently on YouTube Elizabeth has a vlog channel We have a Kickstarter and Shane has merch for this podcast You can shop it at shayndausenmerch.com Make sure you're listening to this podcast every other week

there will be a little hiatus because we'll have children but Shane will keep you updated on the Instagram Shane Dawson podcast when we'll return. Thank you guys for watching we'll see you soon. Good night. Well there you guys go. Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah, happy everything and

happy 2023. We have such an immediate, that's the year right? Are you kidding me? Just making sure. Are you kidding me after you were making fun of me for looking up the year? Happy holiday. Festivist for the rest of this. Yes. No, we had such a good year. Thank you guys for being a part of our year.

We had so much fun doing this podcast and doing this show for you guys. And hopefully you join us back here in 2024. I will see you guys next year. I'm going to cry. We'll see you. No. Cheers to New Year's. Merry Christmas.

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