The Shane Dawson Podcast - Conspiracy Theories & Celebrity FIGHTS! Drake vs Kendrick and Dr Pepper Pickle Viral Soda!!
Episode Date: May 26, 2024Conspiracy Theories & Celebrity FIGHTS! Drake vs Kendrick and Dr Pepper Pickle Viral Soda!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...
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Hi, I'm Danny L'Priori.
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Here we go.
You guys have been waiting for this or dreading this like I have.
We have a new dress.
This is a new picture of a new item.
Somebody win me the lottery, so I can get out of here.
Hey, welcome back to whatever the hell this is.
We're all going to win the lottery.
Get the fuck out of here.
It's a gym.
Oh, you guys are scaring Cheeto.
He was coming to sit in my lap and you scared him.
I'm sorry, Cheetos.
Well, who cares about Cheeto?
We're not going to need him.
We're going to win the lottery.
No, we need more.
We can buy AI robot cats.
You never have to feed them.
They don't poop.
Honestly, this is all transpired from a few things in our life going right that Shane has manifested.
and we thought we're going to need lottery cards.
Okay, let me explain what's happening.
First of all, we have so much to get to today,
so much fighting.
We have a game plan that's going to tear us all apart.
More than the dress?
More than the lottery.
Yes, and we have a new dress.
The lottery is the end, by the way.
If we win the lottery, I will never see you in this format again.
That is not a possibility.
We'll get to it.
But first, hey, how are you guys doing?
Wow, this is such a fun night.
We're good.
I think we're great, yeah.
Well, Sandy's coming off a 10-hour day at Disneyland, so she's better than all.
She's already won the lottery.
I just get so pumped when I'm there.
So I don't even, you know, I barely slept last night.
And then it's like, I'll wake up at 5 o'clock, get ready, drive down there, you know?
Just, I feel real wired.
Wow.
And I might go back after this.
No, great.
I'll come with you.
Do it.
Let's do it.
Okay.
Yeah.
How do I explain what's happening?
Because you guys don't understand why we're talking with the lottery so much.
Okay, let me give a little backstory.
I was going to say, I also don't understand what you're wearing.
You know, listen, sometimes targeted ads work.
Sometimes they don't.
So what did you think you were serving in this?
Oh, oh, whoa.
The argument's starting early.
Before we get to that, let me just say, before you drag my outfits,
which, by the way, you're welcome for your beautiful outfit and everybody's,
well, Sandy's wearing her own clothes, but, and they look more beautiful than something I would have picked out.
But before you do that, last time you dragged one of my jackets,
which I think was a pink jacket, you were like, where would you ever wear that?
That's hideous.
And then we're watching the episode, and you were like, wow, that does look sickening.
No, I'm not a hater.
I just thought, did you think we were pop stars for a second?
I am.
Okay.
Actually, after we win the lottery?
Honestly, his Christmas music is some of my favorite.
I forgot your pop star.
I can't go off.
Go on touring your pink jacket.
Thank you.
Super love goes hard.
It kind of looks like a jacket.
You know, the guys on the street that do the robot.
And they have fifth one.
Yeah, it looks like you could do the robot.
Thank you.
I love it.
Of course.
Hollywood Boulevard, performer.
Thank you.
Anyways, okay, so why are we doing the lottery?
So let me explain what's actually happening.
First of all, the other day, something happened in my life where I was having an anxiety
attack spiraling and I got on my knees and I prayed and I said, God, please let this be fixed
by the time I wake up.
Eight hours later, it was fixed.
And I was like, oh, my God, that's crazy.
And then we were talking about it with a friend.
They were like, you need to buy a lottery ticket.
And I was like, I do need to buy a lottery ticket.
I've never bought one in my whole life.
And when we were like really young, like when I was like 10 and it kind of ruined our family for a night.
I made a short film about it.
Check it out.
But besides that.
In high school, I was addicted to the scratchers.
And one of my friends did win $6,400 on a scratcher.
But this, we've entered the big leagues.
Now we're competing for $32 million.
$331 million.
Oh, shit.
And it's happening before this podcast ends.
So here's what I did.
I went, me and Rylan went right before the show.
And we got a bunch of tickets.
We got one for each of you guys.
So everybody has one.
I wrote them all out for us because they all came on the same ticket,
which, by the way, is a flaw in the system
because if any of us win, it's still technically my ticket.
But, you know, I'll be polite.
It's also hard until you're a seasoned lottery player to understand we went in.
The tension was high between us and the cashier.
We didn't know how to do it.
He was annoyed that we didn't know how to do it.
I know.
And then I was tempted to be like, listen, if you're just nice to us and help us,
I'll give you a million dollars.
They actually, regardless if you're nice to them, they do get a cut.
How much?
I think they get like between one and,
5% of the winnings.
Do they really?
Yeah.
That's why they put the checks all over the place
because they get money from it.
So they want people to come in and say,
like, we've been, you know, selling these tickets.
This guy didn't want us to know.
No, he wanted us to leave.
Anyway, so I have,
we have a ticket for Jared, Sandy, Spencer, Chris, Rylan, me.
I would cry.
Max, Jet.
Everybody in this household, we also have one,
I didn't even tell you guys about this.
I have one titled Everyone.
So if the Everyone wins,
Well, there's nine of us, but are we counting Max and Jet during that?
That's kind of...
Yeah, no, we can't do that.
That's too much.
In the everyone pile, we get to contribute our portion to Max and Jet.
Okay, well, then I think it's like 50 million a person, which, like, listen.
Oh, my God.
After taxes...
Oh.
25.
Yeah.
Anyway, so that is happening.
Before we end the show, we are going to stream it.
Is there like a hot person rolling it?
Or what does it do?
I don't know.
Is there like a Van of White?
The last time I saw it, it's like a bingo ball machine where they,
turn it and they pull the numbers out.
Is there a model involved?
Oh, yeah, probably, maybe.
I don't know.
It's probably going to happen right during Rylind's recap.
That's fine.
Oh, my God.
The last time we'll ever see you do a recap.
Okay, let's talk about that for a second because I feel like it's almost manifesting
something bad because if any of us win, the podcast is over.
But y'all don't say that.
I mean, if I win, they'll just be an LED TV right here.
You'll see like amazing scenery behind me.
And I'd be like, yeah, yeah.
Just a second.
Hold on that.
You know.
I'll still do it.
If you won 331 million, would we ever see you again?
I hope so.
I'd probably be like in another country, you know, getting a tan.
And then I'll have Jared at the house taking care of the dogs.
Right.
She always says if she wins the lottery, it's all hers.
But what she doesn't know is, all I gotta do is divorce her for half of it.
Well, you know.
Cheap trick.
Yeah.
She cheap.
Yeah, get married.
You know, double your chances of winning the lottery.
So you're telling me, if you won 331 million.
331,155 after Texas.
Yeah.
We would never see you again.
No, we talked about this off camera.
The podcast would look like a Hollywood movie.
Each camera would be a red camera, like a $200,000 camera.
And like, it would just look insane for no reason.
You would have the gentleman from the Chub Club Flyer be a human beanbag for you that you sit on.
You know, he would just be surrounded by Chubs.
Or maybe you'd be the new owner.
There you go.
Yes.
Yeah.
That's a great.
You'd be the face of Chubs.
No.
I mean, yeah, I don't know. I would, realistically, I'd buy a house. That's just, I feel like if we all won, I'd have enough for a house in California. Do you know what I mean?
Yeah, a house. There you go.
Rylan.
Oh.
Would I ever see you again?
You would.
We'd be on properties next to each other.
Wow.
Okay.
No, no, no, no, no. We'd be fine.
Your vlog would be, like, keeping up with the Kardashians.
It'd be, like, on a TV show with a huge budget.
Here's a problem, though, if any of, well, if I won the lottery,
I would want to make movies.
I've been trying to get money to make a movie for a while, and it's hard.
Yeah.
So if I won the lottery, yeah, I'd make some movies.
I'd have to, you know, buy you some things.
I want to watch your movie so bad that I hope you win.
Oh, my God.
You could buy, if you won two, then you could buy all the tickets and make it number one.
Deal.
Thank you.
There it is.
God, Spencer, what would you do?
I'd have to find me a new Spencer.
Yeah.
I feel like I'd say, yeah.
Yeah, I mean.
Quick.
I think I'd like to travel a lot and go some cool places.
Probably also buy it.
I mean,
if I want the whole thing,
buy a house.
I'll make a promise.
If I win the whole thing,
everyone gets a million.
That's it.
I know.
Spencer's cheap.
I'm like,
wait,
is it the cash?
You guys don't want a million?
Isn't the cash you're getting paid?
Yeah,
yeah.
Well, speaking of Spencer's new life,
we have a dating update.
So Spencer went on a date.
Well, do you want to talk about,
well, first let me show the picture.
Okay.
My grandma is...
Oh.
Look at it.
It looks like you guys are in somebody's basement.
It does.
It's just a bar.
We're like a Denny's.
My grandma is very invested in finding out the future of this.
She is unable to follow a lot of the podcasts because she's like, what the hell is happening?
What is this?
Why they're talking about their dicks?
Like it's very confusing.
But the dating episode, invested.
Wants to know what's going on.
To Shira.
Where is she?
Desrey.
When's the wedding?
Like a lot of questions.
So, uh, what happens?
Well, I'm not a bad news for grandma.
Well, no, it went very well.
It went very well.
I think we had a great time.
I just didn't, you know, sometimes you don't feel like the romantic spark.
I wanted to go on like a real date and like give it to try.
And yeah, I think we clicked as like people, but not romantically, I think.
And even, you know, she also gave permission to talk about this.
I'm not just talking out of hand about it.
But like, I even texted her, but I was like, hey, you know, I had a great time.
I didn't feel it.
And she was like, yeah, I think, like, so she felt the same way.
So, which I think it's friend vibes.
Yeah, she's like, yeah, that's felt like.
friend vibe. So yeah, it's like the best way that could have happened, I think, honestly.
Well, now we have to find men for Tashira and Desiree. I'm tired. Oh, my God.
Chris, stay with your boyfriend. I'm tired. Wow. Okay. Well, so right before the show,
Sandy texted me a link to an Instagram reel and you said this would be a good time to play it right
after we're like dating. Yeah, yeah. It has to do with dating shows. Yeah. Sandy introduced me to this
dating show and he's hooked. I will say it's one of the most entertaining way.
I've ever seen a dating show happen, aside, of course, from Spencer's dates, but this could be something that, uh, Tashira and Desiret could be involved in possibly.
It's called Pop the Balloon or Fine Love.
So if you've never seen this show, people pop the balloons to show they're not interested in dating.
No.
Yes.
What?
No.
Oh my God.
Theophilus?
Yeah.
Okay, and Theophilus, how old are you?
29.
29.
And what do you do?
I'm a chef.
What, why?
Make beats and stuff.
This is the room.
And there's multiple versions of it.
I would say this one is like the most high class version.
Where are you watching this?
You too.
And the best part I think too is that people who pop their balloons,
she'll take, the host will take the guy to them and say,
hey, why did you pop your balloon?
And so they'll say like, oh, your fit's not cute or I'm not into braids or whatever reason.
But then she'll ask the guy, hey, in the.
real world is she your type and so sometimes he'll try to be vague and she really
pushes for like more detail like sometimes he'll say like oh well she's not really my type
and then the host will say well what's not your type like is it her body her face yeah so she
really breaks it down i like the dress like to fit um just need a little bit probably more body i guess
for me who's the host geez her names are letta something but yeah these videos have gone
like viral and it's hilarious definitely worth a watch
Yes. And now there's like, we found different versions, which I don't know, but this one is definitely the best one.
Wow. Well, speaking of awkward, uncomfortableness that gave me like an instant pit in my stomach.
I need to talk about your guys' latest vlog.
I'm going to say this. I declare this right now. That was the most genius idea for a vlog.
And I don't even know if you guys know what genius you tapped into. Let me break it down.
Okay.
Andy and Jared did a vlog where they hidden camera style went to yard sales and then haggled the people on the prices.
Let me get an example.
Jared has these two like, you know, wood things that you put on the wall, put lights or candles.
Okay, $30 for the pair, right?
It says $30 for the set.
What is like the best we could do here?
Jared goes, hmm, what about five?
And the guy's like, no, 30.
And Jared's like, I don't know.
What about five?
Did you take five?
And then the guy's like, Jared's like,
Start pointing up...
Jared goes, it's a little wobbly.
It's a little wobbly.
They're just wobbly, and I mean, this one doesn't even have a wick.
I mean, you got to let him know why you're asking for the discount.
And then the guy's like, okay, fine, five.
And then Jared turns his camera, he's like...
And then I'm like, how does Jared do this?
Cut to the next scene, not to give it away.
Check it out.
But cut to the next scene, Sandy has a birdhouse.
And it's a dollar.
A dollar.
And then she goes, I found this birdhouse for a dollar,
and I'm going to try to get it for 50 cents.
Like, she goes to the owner, like, how much and he goes a dollar?
She goes, how about 50 cents?
And he goes, uh, no.
And then she goes, mm, paint's not looking at you.
I don't know if the paint's still good.
And then he goes, okay, fine, 50 cents.
Oh, thank you.
I really appreciate that.
Genius.
And I go, does she even have 50 cents?
Did she even change for that?
Oh, dude, one time we went to a garage sale, and the guy was trying to sell us a piece of furniture for like 600 bucks.
and he kept telling us oh it's worth like two grand and we got it for so much money
and I was like dude I'm gonna give you 50 bucks
you know like I don't have any more than 50 bucks
and then he kept he kept haggling with me and I was like no no I mean 50 bucks
and then you guys could help me put it into my car
finally his wife was so irritated by the fact that we were haggling for so long
she was like just give him the fucking thing for 50 bucks
so then I gave him a hundred to give me change after I told him I didn't have more than 50 bucks
And then we looked it up
It was worth like two grand
It was like a Chinese
Like furniture
It was like a rare thing
Years later
We ended up selling it for like 700 bucks
Yeah
And you guys don't feel weird
Going back and forth with them
No it's a yard sale
It's a bunch of shit on their front lawn
On a blanket
They obviously don't care about it
If it's out on their front lawn
So yeah
I don't really like to haggle
But I mean that birdhouse was like
That birdhouse was like you know
It was going to go in the trash if I didn't buy it.
Yeah.
That's why he was like, he said something like, well, I'm just painting you.
He says like, oh, I'm painting mine.
I was like, okay, 50 cents.
I would love to do that, but I just, it would make my stomach turn.
So watching you guys do it was so fun for us.
We were just like.
It was.
I don't know if it's like a culture on YouTube, but you need to create it.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, it's so good.
It's a category of YouTube I haven't tapped into ever before.
I don't know if it exists.
But I just thought, wow, this is a great thing for them to be doing.
The craziest move to me is like, like you said, I only got 50 bucks and you get $100.
Oh, yeah.
He just, like, he just has to go through this.
No, he just, at that point, he wants me to fuck off of his property.
I mean, I had him and, like, three guys held me with this thousand pound furniture getting into my car.
Before he gave him the $100.
And then asked him if he had rope so I could tie it in the back of the car.
So, yeah.
We did get a few comments that Jared, or saying that Jared is cheap.
I mean, dude, I'm not going to call cheap tricks.
Just wait until he wins the fucking lottery.
I'm going to be even cheaper because I know I can buy it if I want.
You know what I mean?
I don't need this.
It's fun, though.
Check it out on Sandy's vlog channel because I also just enjoyed seeing what people had out and about.
It was very fun.
Yeah.
Hey, sorry to interrupt the show.
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Okay, are you guys ready for a brand-new game
that's going to cause so much drama?
You act like you're having fun now,
but then when I get too riled up,
you're going to be like, okay, he's getting too great.
That's a relationship.
I love you.
Okay, so this game, it has a working title.
So the first title was Fight It Out,
which I think is kind of fun.
Fight it out.
I like that.
Because it's about debating and fighting.
The second title is a little gross, but I was thinking like master debater.
Ooh.
But I feel like the song could be good.
Anyways, so here's how the game works.
Me and Spencer came up with this the other day, and I'm very excited about it.
So there is a different category for each of us, right?
For example, the first category is best pop star ever.
So each of us have a pop star that we think is a best pop star ever,
and we have to fight it out and talk about why
We are right.
And then one of us who doesn't really have a strong opinion about pop stars is going to choose who gave the best debate.
And then each round is going to switch, right?
So, like, for the pop star thing, Jared doesn't really probably have a best pop star ever.
He's Ariana's biggest fan.
I don't.
I don't have a favorite pop star.
So he'll choose one of our answers.
Nice.
And then the next category for best movie ever, because Rylan doesn't remember movies five seconds after he watches them.
That wasn't a read.
That's true.
Literally.
Ryland is going to choose, and we're all going to fight it out and talk about what the best movie ever is,
and then he's going to choose a winner, and so forth and so on.
Oh, no.
And then the winner gets...
A hot dog.
Yes.
So, Spencer, you have all of our answers, and you have all the categories.
So start wherever you want.
What do you think is going to create the biggest fight?
I'm already stressed.
I'm nervous.
Let's start easy.
Let's start with Best Movie.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah.
We'll ease into it.
Okay.
So these are the answers I got from everybody.
Should we do like we're on Street Fighter and it's like choose our fighter?
Round one, fight.
Hailing out of Long Beach, California, in this corner is me, Jared.
Was that cool?
I'm so glad you didn't do weight because I was like, I'm not getting my weight.
Coming in at 252 pounds.
Working on it, though, trying to lose weight on the other basis.
In that corner, we have Jared.
with blow.
Ooh.
Coming in.
Jared, you want to do Chris.
Pailing out of Los Angeles, California.
He's Peruvian.
He's German.
He is gay and proud of it.
It is Chris.
He likes fat guys.
I do.
Thank you.
Okay.
Yeah.
Chris is coming in with Psycho.
Ooh, a classic.
I love it.
It's my favorite.
Introduce your wife.
And coming off of my left-hand corner, we have the
beautiful, the amazing Sandy.
That's it for your own one.
I know, thank you.
She's married to the coolest guy on the planet.
Who's trying to lose weight, doing kind of good at it.
Well, Sandy, you gave me, you gave two answers.
So do you want to pick one?
You can pick it.
She's a little indecisive.
Okay, Sandy's coming in with Greece.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, we can do me.
Oh, yeah.
Introduce Spencer.
Coming out of Los Angeles, he went.
He went on a date recently and realized they're better as friends.
His name is Spencer.
Okay.
Mine is Shrek 2.
Oh, wait, I love that movie.
It's a good movie.
Underrated.
Yeah, I think it's different.
And finally, coming in to the host.
And finally, the host, our fearless leader,
handling out of Los Angeles, California in his pink leather, shiny jacket.
It's church.
And Shane's coming in with Titanic.
What?
Whoa, Iceberg straight.
He's about to sink the competition.
How are you going to beat Titanic with
Thank you, yes.
Kate Winsland.
Oh my gosh, the costume.
Iceberg.
So, yes, it's not like too structured
because we didn't want to have you like,
you talk, then you talk, then you talk.
So it's kind of up to the judge to say like,
okay, let me hear your case.
Let me hear your case.
I think that, but also I think we just fight it out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like in Bafia, where you just get going.
Yeah, Psycho, Black and White, I'm bored.
Oh, okay.
I'm out.
Titanic is the longest movie here, and a lot of people didn't even finish it, first off.
That is not true.
Titanic is one of the most successful movies of all time.
Oh, sorry, James Cameron's other two movies are number one, number two, most successful
of all time.
Don't ever come from Ms. James.
Psycho influenced all your favorite movies.
Scream, all of them.
All of them were influenced by them.
Okay, but Greece is generational, and it got people to be,
into musicals that would normally not be into musicals and obviously the outfits the music you know
it's like entertaining all the way through but when you want to watch a great movie let's be honest you want
something that takes you on an emotional roller coaster based in reality not some goofy cartoon with some big green guy
okay i want to see thousands of people die on a boat i don't want to see that you know or some lady
get killed by your son or just a bunch of people dancing well unlike you know my movie where
i feel like captive eats everybody nobody's going to want to watch a movie for two hours of people
doing drugs i'll also say in shrek two they eat like a magic mushroom and they do drugs so it has everything
i have a question about shrek two why not shrek one and to me that's points deducted if the
sequel is better than the original then fuck the whole franchise okay i think shrek two is the best
sequel, unironically, the best sequel ever made of any movie ever.
Better than Terminator?
Or aliens?
Yes.
I'm going to say yes.
Better than Terminator 2?
I think Shrek 2 is the...
Talk about a movie everyone can watch.
It's got jokes for kids.
It's got jokes for adults.
It has all these little references.
Can you watch it sober?
I do.
Shots fired.
Yeah, I'm trying to think what happens in Shrek 2.
It's been a while.
I just think it's a great movie.
This is not great for you.
No, no.
Guys, Shrek?
We got Ray Liotta, Penelopee Cruz.
Johnny Depp, performances of a lifetime.
You watch a guy go from nothing to something to nothing to something.
Ends up in Jill.
Ends up never having a relationship with his daughter
because of his psycho wife ruining everything.
It's everything.
Why would he want to watch it now?
He just told him the whole thing.
But it's good.
You're going to want to watch it.
Listen, we're almost done.
Give Chris a moment to fight for his psycho.
It's black and white.
There's no hope.
I just wanted to say that it's one of like the most still relevant things
of anything we've talked about because it's the oldest movie
and yet it's still on the Universal Studios back lot.
It's still a part of the tour to this day.
It's made by one of the greatest filmmakers
inarguably ever made.
Who?
Alfred Hitchcock.
And it's influenced everything.
The score, the shower stabbing scene
has been a reference and everything from Simpsons
to like everything.
It's been an abstract two.
Has it been a strike two?
I know.
I'm glazed over.
It is, it is inarguably one of the best movies ever made.
Well, the thing is, if I'm choosing a movie,
it would be one.
I'm choosing best debate.
I don't know if any of you guys had a great debate.
Wow.
And I don't even think you made an argument for Titanic.
You don't have to.
My argument is you don't fucking have to.
It's Titanic.
Period.
Period.
That's the best debate.
That's anything.
Some debaters don't even have to need words.
Ryland, we can agree that mine is at minimum better than Treg 2.
What?
Yes.
Okay.
If someone right now, you're not going to get me on to Shrek 2.
We have to move on.
We have to move on.
What's your choice, Ryland?
What's your choice?
Titanic.
Yay.
Well, I was really going to go with the best debate.
There just weren't any.
I just needed to know that I finished Titanic and I love it.
It's one of my favorites.
I felt really bad thing when I said, okay.
I love Psycho.
Same here with Psycho and Titanic.
It's a good movies.
Shrek 2.
I'm going to give it a try now.
Okay.
Next category.
Let's do best fast food.
I am so passionate about this.
Our judge for this round is going to be Sandy.
Perfect.
Okay, the health queen.
Do you have a favorite?
No.
No.
Perfect.
This is going to be hard.
Okay, so we got Jared with...
Chicken McNuggets.
Ooh.
Peter.
We got Shane coming in with...
Chicken and cheese.
Casidia from Taco Bell.
It's their number one selling item.
Their chicken is funky the house.
It's different.
Speaking of chicken, right?
Speaking of chicken, Ryland, you got...
Chick-fil-A chicken sandwich.
Classic, delicious, warm, homophobic.
Boring, overrated.
Overrated.
Yeah, right.
Tell your mouth that.
You didn't even try it.
Because you're with case.
Chris?
You've had it?
No, I've had it.
One.
Chris, yours.
Oh, burgers.
Because there's so many different varieties in and out.
But specifically in and out.
Which is the best thing ever.
If you were.
Period.
Burn.
Overrated.
And mine is also going to be from chick-fil-aid, but mine is the chick-fellie nuggets.
Oh.
With the Chick-fil-A sauce.
Crispy.
Crispy, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, not cut up chicken breast.
No, no, no, no.
That's disgusting.
That's a lie.
Two people coming in with an item from Chick-fil-A is telling you something.
Yeah.
And I would just like to say that I don't even think there would be a Chick-fil-A if it wasn't for
chicken McNuggets.
And I think they laid them.
They laid, obviously better than Chick-fil-A's chicken nuggets.
But even a chicken sandwich, I think they're the precursor.
And you can't dip a full chicken sandwich into a sweet and sour packet.
Okay, real.
I would like to say.
say, Sandy, a gay person
wouldn't choose a fast food item
from a place that he's gay. He's playing
the gay card. Let's not play the gay card here, okay?
It wasn't so delicious, I couldn't
support this company. But it's just that
great. Wow. Sandy, the health
queen, in and out's burger is the only one that
uses fresh ingredients. Nothing is artificial
or chemically made. It's all real ingredients
and is the only thing here that has all
real ingredients. Farmer boy burger
shits all over in and out burger.
It's not even the best burger out there.
It's a farmer boy.
Farmer boy?
He doesn't even know what it is.
I mean, well, first off, it doesn't seem like their burgers got sat on and squished into nothing.
Sandy, you got to get a four-by-four burger just to get half to get some of it.
It's Gordon Ramsey's favorite burger.
Sandy, you don't even need a sauce for the classic burger at Chick-fil-A.
With Jared's item, you've got to have a sauce or it's just whatever.
So I don't know if that item's really all it's cracked out to be.
The Taco Bell Casadilla.
Not only.
Is it the number one item at Taco Bell, which I just recently learned.
It's like you're going to pass out of the salt.
It is cheesy.
They pre-cut it for you.
You pull it apart.
You could save some for later.
You could enjoy it all at once.
And it comes with this creamy jalapeno sauce that they squirt inside.
You don't even need any hot sauce or anything else on it.
If you want to overdose on salt, that's great.
And it's healthy.
I would say I like five layer burritos a little bit better from Taco Bell.
However, still, chicken nuggets.
I mean, I don't even feel like, I feel like it's a Titanic of the fast food.
Do I even have to debate?
I mean, I would say chicken nuggets for a health queen, like Sandy, who's into, like, chemicals and not having them.
I would say the pink sludge that they make those nuggets out of is reminiscent of what I'm wearing.
Sandy, I want you to think of the experience.
Chick-fil-A is quick.
It's efficient.
The line is long, but you get through it fast and you're face-to-face with somebody.
They can take your order and you're not getting misunderstood from a screen.
I agree, and you don't want all those unnecessary carbs from Chick-fil-A, take the bun off, just get the nuggets.
I feel like I kind of fucked up by not picking orange.
orange chicken from Pandexper.
Oh, that would a one.
Last minute change.
Better than all of them.
Let's be honest.
You can't know that though, Jared,
because one funky piece of orange chicken
ruins the whole meal.
Okay, Sandy.
I think I have the winner.
Oh, my God, I'm nervous.
And this is because of the debate
and because of the facts.
Thank you.
I'm going to have to go with my man, Chris.
Oh, me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She only picked you because it's healthier than the others.
Well, I mean, it's true what he said.
It's fresh.
You want to wait in a five-hour line, Sandy.
It's over.
It's over.
The debate is over.
It's a little bit inclusive, seeing as though only people in California can get it, but whatever.
And Texas. And San Diego didn't want to publicly pick a gay hating company.
Well, listen, not to say In-N-Out is gay because their name is definitely is.
Can I tell you something?
I love In-N-Out.
Yeah.
I love Taco Bo.
I don't.
I don't.
I don't love In-N-Out.
but you know they never got my order wrong which is cool i like it right okay next category all right
let's go back let's do best pop star and that's going to be judged by jared okay so we have chris
coming in with lilnaz x uh we got rylan with how can you won't let me have the real best pop
okay let me explain so first of all when we asked everybody for their answers there was a lot of duplicates
yeah and a lot of icons of michael jackson brittney spears i said something else originally yeah
You said Michael Jackson.
And I think Sandy also said Michael Jackson.
So I decided let's get rid of all the classic icons.
None of you had Taylor Swift.
It's really not fair.
Like they already want, like, so we got rid of them.
We're going with more new next generation icons.
So best new artists.
And also people that I can put in the phone.
I was kind of wondering, Little Nossacks.
That's a weird one.
Well, no, Chris loves you.
I have really good arguments for Taylor Swift in this present moment.
But no, but Taylor's been in way too many of my thumbnails and I need a break.
Okay, so Sabrina Carpenter open for Taylor Swift,
and that's another reason Taylor Swift is so iconic.
She chose such a great opening act.
Are you already debating?
But your choice is...
Taylor Swift.
No, Sabrina Carpenter.
You're Sabrina Carpenter.
But I don't have...
Like, yes, she's fantastic, but I don't have arguments to, like, really sell.
Oh, you'll figure it out.
I'm sure you will.
Okay.
Okay.
We do have one icon.
That's Sandy with...
Jack Harlow.
Oh.
Who collapsed.
Who made a song with Lil Nasak.
Are we doing Best New Artist?
So I originally was going to pick Dolly Parton as my answer.
She's not really that much of a pop star.
Wow, Spencer's such a wild card.
I know.
You would have won.
But we're going with current artists.
And this is going to be a very hard sell to Jared.
I'm guessing.
Mine is going to be Drake.
Oh.
Why's that a hard sell?
He's an iconic.
Because he's in a major beef right now with, I'm guessing an artist that Jared likes way
more than him.
Well, no.
I grew up watching DeGrossey.
And he's losing.
Not lyricist.
Okay, okay, but yeah.
If you are correct, am I correct?
He's in a beef that he's losing.
Okay, okay.
I'm shooting myself on the foot.
I'm shooting myself.
What beef?
Drake and Kendrick Lamar
are in this huge rat beef right now
and they're like going back and forth.
This tracks, back and forth, it's been this huge thing.
But it's not like planned.
It's not like for fun?
No.
It feels like it's plain and it feels like it's just a pump sales, but who knows?
Maybe.
And like Drake was saying that Kendrick Lamar's kid isn't his.
It's like his manager's kid.
It's getting pretty vicious.
Yeah.
My Jimmy?
Mike Jimmy
Ashley would hold him back from doing that
But anyway, Shane
I know, Aubrey, yours is
So mine is Doja Cat
Now let me explain
I wanted her in the thumbnail
But I do think she's an icon
And I think she's very different
And I think she's very smart
And very talented
And I can fight for her
Her songs are catchy
Yeah
Hey, thank you
Okay
All right
You guys are just throwing it out there
You guys have a fight ahead of you
I know
Make me feel like any of these are working
He was yours.
Continue.
Well, Drake's the biggest of these.
Yeah, so.
Doja?
Drake is like outsold the Beatles in terms of like record sales.
He's like one of the highest selling artists of all time.
Fuck it.
I'm back to Taylor's worth.
I know.
I'm back to Michael Jackson.
I want Michael Jackson.
Fine.
You guys can fight for whoever you want.
I'm going to stick with Doja because I stand by her.
Good.
Why is that?
I'm just curious.
I stand by Doja because, number one, she is in control of her own shit.
She doesn't buy into all the fame and all the annoying boss suit.
She's on her Instagram posting all her weird, like, feet pictures and like funny
things. She's playing around with all the ideas of what a Pupsar should be. She's shaving her head.
She doesn't care. She's having fun. Like, she just doesn't give a fuck. She writes her own music.
Okay, yeah. I like, I like guys. Everyone here is talented and like famous to a degree, but none of them are
new. None of them are like, there's better versions of all of these artists. Well, little Nas is the only
openly gay man. And he's the first openly gay man to win a country music award. Uh, he's the only
artist to go 15 times platinum with a song first ever to do that I should say Taylor Swift
iconic this bitch is on the biggest tour ever in the world this woman is so impressive
she has already created a new 28 minutes set inside of her already three-hour tour for this new
album that is masterful there is not a woman who can put on a show like Taylor Swift didn't you
say all the songs in a new album sound the same they do that doesn't mean they
They are genius.
And when you listen enough, they all become great.
When you listen enough.
She could be the reincarnation of a satanic priestess.
Aluminati.
Doja Cat has like Illuminati symbols in every video.
She's the literal devil in a video.
No, no.
Don't do this.
Don't change the narrative.
Doja Cat is against the Illuminati.
And she's like, but I'm not in the Illuminati.
They want me.
And these fuckers can't have me.
And this is why Jack Harlow has been riding all of this day.
Day one, even his music, I mean, listen, some people would say that the beats are very similar to older songs, but others would say that he's finding new ways, new creative ways to create new music with, you know, sounds that people are already into.
A lot of people only know about Jack Harlow because he collabed with little Nas X, just saying.
And yeah, and nobody listens to Nas X as much as they listen to Jack Harlow.
The numbers disagree.
Do they?
Okay.
Drake?
Okay, well,
I've been to one of his concerts,
it's whatever.
Okay, but, Jared, think about this.
Think about this.
I would also probably say the same
about a Taylor Swift concert.
Oh!
No, you can't.
If you went to one in person,
there's not one, there's not anybody
like three hours long.
But I'm just saying, like,
Drake, all he did was like run back and forth
on a stage that was the same
three colors for two hours.
Taylor Swift puts on a visual spectacle.
Okay, but if you're going to put on
music of any of these
people, Jared. If you had to pick
song from any of these people, who are you going to pick?
That's cheating. He likes hip hop.
But Drake is like watered down like
Drake is not like real hip hop.
Drake has ghost writers. He doesn't write any of his own
music. He's like
literally like he's not like
Kendrick Lamar who writes his own music and is a genius.
Drake's like water.
Drake's a fan favorite. Kendrick's like
critically. Drake's just like watered down
like what you get like a child into
that music with. But you can't
You can't fabricate that kind of success.
Even if it is a machine, he's created it for himself.
Yeah, I won't say he's, I'm not saying he's the best guy in the world, but I don't know.
I stand by my point of if you had to pick a song of any of these artists to listen to you.
I think you, I don't want to speak for you, but I think you picked Drake.
Well, Jared, yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
I'm the judge.
I didn't know who Ariana Grande is, so he's.
I know, I'm playing to the judge.
He's picking.
Okay, okay.
Jared, give us the winner of this master debate.
Okay, I would say that it's, I'm going to be.
be fair and say it is between Taylor Swift and Drake if we're talking about the biggest best
pop stars just out of definition right just like Titanic it's hard to debate that well that's why
he had Sabrina carpenter oh Sabrina carpenter then yeah then it's Drake yeah I feel like Drake
like he said I mean the dude is he's done everything he was on degrossing one of our favorite shows
yeah I can't it's hard to get mad at wheelchair Jimmy and then on top of that he's a song
dude that somehow has been involved in some of the biggest beefs in hip-hop in the past 10 years and
held his own that that holds weight to me or the writers did
yeah hey look having the talent to pick the right writers is a talent unto itself
you don't fall into no but he created that for himself I'm everyone creates their
success for themselves you position yourself to be that way I'm gonna go ahead and
pick Drake okay all right all right how many do we have left because I don't think we're
going to survive.
There should be like one an episode.
Let's just do one more.
Do you want to do?
All right.
Let's pick.
You guys can pick the category.
Oh, this is going to be the banger.
Best theme park ride.
This is going to cause drama.
So this is going to be for Spencer because Spencer hasn't been to a lot of the theme parks in California.
Been to none of them.
Zero of them.
I've been to like two theme parks in life.
Do you just not like them?
I grew up kind of in the middle of nowhere.
So it would be like two hours to get to them anyways.
Yeah, but you're an adult.
Yeah.
I know.
I don't know why have to come out.
Well, we have to.
Well, we have to.
We have to convince him.
So, let's go through everybody's favorite ride.
I'll start my favorite all-time ride.
It's at Universal Studios Hollywood,
and it is the behind-the-scenes tram ride.
Slow as hell.
Don't fight me yet.
I'm like, let me get off of this thing.
Okay, Jared.
I was never giving it the new update.
Yeah, go to Jared late.
Okay, so mine's going to be the Runaway Railroad
in Disneyland Park, California.
It's a good time.
short it to me.
Chris.
Rise of the Resistance at Disneyland, California.
The Exilerator at Knopf Berry Farm.
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, coming in on.
And Ryland?
Guardians of the Galaxy at California Adventure.
The best time a person could have.
Best five seconds.
I mean, go ahead.
That's what she said.
This is hard because I don't know what any of these are.
Hey, Spencer, do you like the movies?
Because if you've ever wanted to see the behind the scenes of the movie,
for example,
You watch, you see all these buildings, you're like, oh my God, I'm in New York.
And then you turn the corner and you're in Mexico.
And then you turn the corner and then you turn the corner and guess what?
Jaws pops up and almost kills you.
And you're on a train the whole time?
No, you're on a tram with a bunch of people and there's a tram guy and he's like, look to the left, look to the right.
That's going to be hard to compete with, but how fast does it go?
Well, like five miles an hour maybe?
I would say, no, I'd say maybe 20 at most.
And, you know, sometimes when you're driving through, you know, like the fast and the furious
set, it can get pretty fucking fast.
Spencer, I see you more of a thrill taker.
And yeah, 20 miles an hour sounds great.
But imagine going zero to 100 in less than two seconds, up 100 feet, going straight down into
a loop, into a turn, going sideways.
And this is only a 23 second ride.
So it's only 22 seconds.
I actually, now that I'm thinking about it, Spencer, my ride is perfect because, as you
know, Spencer has some heart issues.
You actually can't do that thrill like a ride because it's dangerous for him.
So the back lot tram is perfect, and it's long.
If you want to die from the crashing.
That's true.
But even the crash is, the safety's not a big.
Even the crash is a little slow.
It's like not that crazy.
You have to find a lawyer that's really willing to take it on.
Listen, Spencer, after a long day at work,
don't you just want to get away and escape to another world
and, you know, visit some little vintage Mickey here and there,
dancing a little Daisy?
I mean, I think the runway railroad.
Actually, I'm changing.
The Shrek ride.
No!
It does not exist anymore.
Ah, damn it.
I'm still on the exhilarator.
It was good, though.
So what is it?
It's pretty gay.
I'm just saying you're...
Wow, the anti-gay card.
Good call.
Good call.
As a straight man, I don't know if you want to be associated with that, right?
Shrek 2 and Dolly Parton, I think he's not against it.
The famous gay movie Shrek.
Look, the runaway wear, it has the perfect amount of, like, suspense.
but not too fast.
It has the visuals are insane.
I think you definitely belong there, Spencer.
It's a great ride,
but if you're talking about insane visuals,
Disney drops something like $450 million for the rides of the resistance,
which is the only ride that gives you three different rides.
All of these rides are a one-time experience.
This is like Star Tours.
It's like a movie followed by an actual ride,
followed by like a walkthrough.
It's three different rides.
It is the longest ride in the Greenland.
Jaws, earthquake, King Kong, 3D experience.
Fast and the Furious 3D experience.
You can see the famous psycho house.
I don't know why I have to keep fighting with Chris,
but I need to break it to him.
Literally Disney has disguised this ride that's really just a line.
They're moving you into different line cues,
and they're like, look it, this is the ride.
And you're like, no, I'm standing in line with a bunch of people doing nothing.
looking around at visuals, this sucks.
And the worst part about it is the only thing
I remember about that ride
is A, paying $20 to get on it.
And B, nothing else except that they were mean to me.
The only right people are willing to pay extra to ride.
Wait, you pay extra to go on.
Because the line is so long.
The line's like three hours.
You don't have to.
You don't have to.
My ride would inspire you even more
to make movies.
Okay, think of the most charismatic,
wonderful movie star out there.
Chris Pratt.
You'll see him on my back lot tour.
Your heart is going to flutter
because he just has so much charisma
and now he is guiding us through.
Your heart's definitely going to flutter.
Yep.
Right?
Oh, yeah.
Which we can't have.
Yes.
You're right.
Talking about bad for your heart.
Make it worse.
The music really brings you on a joyride.
You're up, you're down.
You're all around.
The visuals are crazy.
You're in.
You're out and you're left wanting more.
It's something you're going to remember
for a life.
time and it's really the reason you're going to want to keep going back to Disneyland California
Adventure wait I mean you explain what you haven't said what the ride is is it a roller coaster
oh sorry it's so iconic I thought you'd know so if you want to be unfulfilled and feel the need
to go on a ride five times to get enjoyment out of it that sounds great or if you want to spend
45 minutes of your day on a ride okay and I pick Drake for you hey okay Spencer okay make your choice
Um, I think, okay, actually, you know what?
I think that last statement, sweet, I think I'm going to go Garden to the Galaxy.
I'm sorry, you're a close second, dude.
This time, 45 seconds is a short amount of time.
23.
Me and Chris were able to do this.
Not you, Chris Brown.
It is a great ride, though.
I'm not mad about it.
I helped you all too.
Thank you.
No, Sandy, too.
Oh, it was a team.
Well, that game was a lot.
I feel like it's everything that we expected it to be.
It really is.
And I don't know if I ever want to play.
I told you it would bring out the worst in me.
God, I really am so scared of you winning the lottery.
I'm so scared.
What are you going to do?
It's happening in 30 minutes.
Like, countdown.
He'll be at a Taylor Swift show every day.
Oh, my God.
See ya.
Guardians of the Galaxy rides.
Oh, my God.
Well, there you guys go.
Hopefully you enjoyed the fighting game, the untitled.
I don't really remember.
Oh, masturbate.
Master debate or fight it out.
There we go.
If you want us to play it again, give us some category ideas in the comments, and maybe we'll choose
from that.
Hey, sorry to interrupt the show.
Please don't go anywhere.
Please, I promise you're going to want to see this.
Because there is nothing I love more than an unboxing.
So first of all, thank you to Ridge for sponsoring this episode.
But they sent me, I have it all in this beautiful rich blue beanie they gave me,
which I probably should have worn because yikes.
But they sent me so many products for their Father's Day sale.
Now listen, I know what you're thinking.
Shane, Father's Day.
I have to get a gift for Father's Day.
Of course you do.
But your daddy doesn't want flowers.
I mean, maybe our kids, Daddy definitely would want flowers.
And a cake.
But you know what a better gift is for Daddy?
Ridge wallet. Why? I've talked about them so many times. This is the dad gift. Like, I'm not just trying
to sell this right now. This is literally the dad gift. Like, anytime I've had a dad in this house,
they've always said, do you have any extra Ridge wallets? Like, that's happened three times. So to celebrate
Father's Day, Ridge is having a huge sale. From May 15th, all the way through June 15th, they'll have
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I'm not kidding.
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But because of Ridge and because they put the RF Eddie blocking technology, it won't happen to you or you're dead.
Okay, so let me show you what they sent me.
This is very exciting.
I have not seen some of these colors before.
Oh, and I don't know if this is a new thing they're doing, but they now have an option where you can have it.
Snap to your phone.
Are you kidding me?
Like, that is so cute.
Okay, sorry, let me get back to it.
So the colors.
Matt, olive green.
This one is beautiful.
one's my favorite. Ooh, I spoke too soon. Look at this blue. Oh my god. So beautiful. They also have a
more subtle blue, which is like carbon fiber. And then when you turn it, it has the blue on the
inside. Ooh, and then the brass. Okay, never mind. I like this one the most. Look at the brass.
And they also don't just have wallets. We've talked about their keyholders before. I've shown you
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You're setting Daddy up for success, ladies.
I love their pens.
I use their pen every day.
It's in my kitchen.
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It's sturdy.
It ain't breaking.
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If you go to their website, they have so many.
Like, they do limited editions.
They do ones with, like, flowers on it.
They have so many different kinds.
So please check out the sale.
I promise your dad's going to love it.
Or just you're going to love it if you want a new wallet.
Go to ridge.com slash grower all the way through June 15th to get.
get up to 40% off of some of my favorite rich items that's rich.com slash grower to check out
the foresty sale so thank you so much rich wallet and i will see you guys later enjoy the rest of
show bye let's get to the opposite of fighting let's get to the loving it's time for
vagina viewers are great i need another viewers are great i need another we love it when you
send in picks of each other and your invasive questions makes us want to say vag
V-I-N-A.
Vagina.
All right, our first vagina, or wait.
Whoa, whoa.
Our first message is from Charlotte.
Charlotte said, hey, just wanted to share something with y'all.
So I'm currently on vacation from the UK.
Shout out to the UK.
That was good.
That was good.
That was good.
I felt like it was there.
Thank you.
I'm in Orlando Disney World.
And last night I got a tattooed down at Universal Studios of one of my favorite animas.
And here I am the next day.
They sat in front of Magic Kingdom in my Shane Dawson merch after watching you for eight years.
Wow.
So here's a picture of her standing in front of the Magic Kingdom, Walt and she has on her merch,
and she's showing her tattoos from an anime.
I wish I was very cool.
Stand on me too.
Front of the castle.
And then she said, also, after having boyfriends who didn't really understand your humor
and made me watch your videos alone, my current boyfriend gets it, and we've been together for over a year.
So he is the one that got her the merch
And also she wanted Jared to know
That he specifically has 330 Hot Wheels
Dude, right on
She left out an important piece of information
Is he a grower?
Oh, for sure
He collects Hot Wheels Ryland
He's a grower
And yeah, here is a picture of her and her boyfriend at
Oh my God, I think they're at Chris's favorite ride
Are they the ride of the resistance?
Yes, I'm just going to say, yeah
So Charlotte, just a quick thing though
You guys would have had so much more fun
if you went on the back lot tour
and my experience.
Hopefully you're going to check that out soon.
This next email is from Laura,
and she said, hey, she is 24 years old
and lives in Florida.
And here is a picture of her
wearing the podcast merch
while she's on her favorite ride
at Magic Kingdom,
The Haunted Mansion.
Wow.
Fans are at Disney World.
They really are.
Oh, yeah.
Should we do a podcast at Disney World?
I'd have never been.
Would they let that happen?
We'd have to sneak in our equipment.
And then we have a picture.
from Taylor. This is her and her boyfriend in their farmer and grower hoodies. And look how cute
they are. So cute. That is so cute. Thank you so much, Taylor, for sending me that. And thank you
to Taylor's boyfriend for being a strong enough man to rock that. Not in public. They are in the
bathroom in their own home. But maybe they do leave the house like that, which would be very sweet.
And I'll say strong beard, dude. Yeah, very nice beard. I like it. Very strong. Okay, we have a lot
of voicemails to choose from. We're only going to do a couple and I'm going to let you guys choose
what we do. Spencer has organized them with the titles of what they kind of are about. So here's the
options. Girlfriend shits pants. Starting off strong, I'm already biased. Big girl 69 problem.
Oh, we're doing that one. Where do we start? I want to start with, I kind of want to do shitting pants.
You got to start with a bang. Let's get into it.
This is Sarah from Illinois.
I've been watching for like 10 years.
Anyway, my question is, so my girlfriend and I,
we've been through a lot or whatever, but...
So, recently, she accidentally shit her pants in front of me.
I love you.
And she's very, very embarrassed about it, and I just want to know
if you have any advice for, like, what I could do to make her feel better, you know?
solidarity
I think it's very funny
but anyway
yeah that's all
bye
I 100% think
shit your pants
oh yeah
in front of her
and there you go
I think the best thing to do
is probably to air her out
on a podcast
yeah
she's embarrassed
they're gonna know
it's obvious
that she's not bothered by it
so I don't know
why her girlfriend
would feel that
you are bothered by it
I get it
I mean that is an embarrassing thing
and like no matter
how many times
partner tells you it's like funny and cute or whatever in the back of your mind you're like
i don't know like you've never if i've ever shit my pants what would you do i'd probably make
fun of you for a little bit i'd bully and shame you i look at it like this farting in front of a
significant other is like a big milestone in a relationship yes some people don't even ever get
there wow you're already at the point where you're shitting your pants in front of each other
that's huge that's couple goals put a ring on it i haven't shit my pants in front of sandy yeah you
I'm not comfortable with that just yet.
You haven't?
No.
I feel like you've shit your pants in front of us.
Well, I don't know.
See, that's the debate.
Is a shart pooping your pants?
I don't know.
Yes.
You know?
Like, I guess if you have to wipe your butt afterwards,
it's considered shitting your pants.
If you have to change your underwear, it's shitting your pants.
Yeah, you could clean it up with some toilet paper.
I think you just love her.
Yeah.
And I just never bring it up again.
Yeah, don't bring it up.
Yeah.
Hope that help.
I'd poke.
Okay.
This is Big Girl 69 Problems.
Hi, Shane. I'm a big fan.
This is my second time leaving a voice now, but it's a quick, like, story.
I don't want to get off my mind because I can't get over it.
So I have my baby daddy, not with him, but he always likes to do six-nine.
I'm a bit of a sick girl, so I don't like being on top anymore.
So I say, hey, why don't, you know, switch positions, and I'm on bottom when you're on top.
And I thought I liked it, I thought it'd be easier, but I didn't realize how close I would be to his, like, Gooch area.
And I didn't like all that hair in my nose or face.
So, um, if I should do that again, if I know how to get through it.
No, that's not right.
That's not right. You don't want to catch a whiff of that.
Such a whiff of that.
Like, what if there's something left over?
I haven't heard the word gooch in so long.
I feel like Taint came in and kind of took over Gooch for a while.
I say, we're bringing Gooch back.
Gooch merch.
Oh, yeah.
Gucci.
Gucci is so good.
Oh, my God.
I'll send you a cut, girl.
Oh, my, first of all, I 100% understand.
I'm there.
I see it.
I smell it.
I know exactly what you're talking about.
I think this is when you do Chris's idea.
I think you talked about this recently on a former podcast,
but you do the side thing.
Yeah.
Did you say that?
It's on the side.
I don't know if I have,
but yes,
if you haven't tried it on your side,
that's like a very,
a very easy way to do.
It's like probably the easiest way to do it.
Let's gooch in the face.
Let's gooch.
I think he could just better.
Or I guess he could just shave.
Yeah,
I was going to say that too.
Yeah,
but sometimes there can still be a shower.
Because it sounds like that's the issue is that it was the hair.
Still too close to the asshole.
Whereas if you're like coming from the front.
the stomach is more, I don't know.
I don't think 69ing is the best.
But this also doesn't seem like a problem to me because it's like she asked to do it.
It's not like he's like, please, please, please.
But then she discovered it was sucked.
Yeah, exactly.
So you don't have to do it again.
How is the gooch though different when it's on top than versus on bottom?
Isn't the gooch the gooch no matter where it is?
No, because if you're giving me head on your knees here, then your nose is at my stomach.
If we're 69ing, your nose is down below.
Yeah, she said 69ing.
She's usually on top and now she's on bottom.
She likes being, or it worked better.
I guess it's just like gravity, right?
It's just like pushed into you versus like you're controlling your own head.
Try on your side.
Yeah, try it on your side.
And ask him to shave.
And leave another voice.
I mean, that was like one of my favorite most visceral voice smells we've ever got.
Okay, we haven't done this in a while, but we are about to do conspiracy kitchen.
This is something that I have seen everywhere and that I can't believe is real.
A cookie croissant?
No.
Okay, I'm going to, while Spencer's preparing it,
I'm going to play this video from Mississippi Mima.
Oh, no.
This already sounds bad for me.
Do y'all like pickles?
Do y'all like Dr. Pepper?
Yes.
This is the watermelon, ma'am.
Take the order, please.
Yes, ma'am.
I need to get a large Dr. Pepper with pickles.
What?
All right, we've got a large, Dr. Pepper with pickles.
All right, I don't put my straw in my cup, but let's see what it looks like.
So this right here is a pickle, Dr. Pepper.
So it's Dr. Pepper with...
Oh, I don't even want to look at it.
And don't knock it until you try it.
If you like pickles and you like Dr. Pepper and you're probably like,
ew, gross.
But maybe it's good.
Pickles are in my top three hated foods ever.
Oh, really?
Oh, yeah.
I hate pickles.
I like pickles on burgers or like on things, but like eating a pickle by itself is ick to me.
I love pickles.
I'll eat like the giant ones in the bags at like theme parks.
I love a pickle, but not with Dr. Pepper.
I'd love to find out how she came up with this
because was she just eating like a hamburger and the pickle fell into like her soda?
Like how did it happen?
Like I think this is a thing in the South.
Like I think because the woman at Sonic was like not shook at all.
Can I get a pickle pepper?
Pickles and what did you say?
A pickle pepper.
Yes.
A Dr.
A doctor pickle pepper.
Oh my God.
Pickle pepper coined that.
Oh my God.
smell?
No, shame.
Mimaw.
Mimaw.
Mississippi Mimau.
R. N.
I kind of like the smell.
I haven't even smelled
or anything and my mouth is almost
overwhelmed with saliva like pre-throw-up.
What are we cheering to? Winning the lottery,
we have like five more minutes
until it happens. Well, I can't wait to be
$300 million richer. If I win the lottery,
I'm banning pickles.
If we win the lottery,
I'm sending $10 million to me, Ma.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Okay, here we go.
Hmm.
Beautiful.
Oh.
Tasty high note.
Oh, hi.
Don't mind me.
I'm practicing my new baritone sacks.
I just heard PayPal's paying for people's stuff.
Every day for 100 days and there's 10 million up for grabs.
All you have to do is use PayPal checkout online.
So there's never been a better time to buy a few things off the old.
wish list. Like this leafblower.
PayPal could pay for your purchase.
The Great PayPal Checkout. No purchase necessary
and July 18th. The official rules at PayPal.com slash the
great PayPal checkout slash terms. Participating merchants only must use
PayPal checkout online. Coverage of up to $100 and eligible
purchases per cart. Oh my God.
The fucking afterdating.
It adds like a little bit of
density.
I kind of like it, I think.
I hate it. I hate it. I don't hate it.
I don't hate it. I'm on Mimau's team.
This is good.
I kind of like it.
Oh my God.
Me Ma-Mah dating.
I want to eat the pickle.
Liars.
Are you doing this for camera?
Oh my God, you are sick.
Oh, take this away from me.
Please get it away from me.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
The pickle itself is too much.
The drink is nice.
Okay.
The pickle touch my lip.
I don't think it's bad.
I think it's pretty good.
I'm not kissing me tonight.
Okay, well, wow.
That was a lot.
We are going to take a quick little break,
and when we come back,
It is the fucking lottery, baby.
We're getting to lottery before Conspiracy Corner.
I thought that was taking place of Conspiracy Corner.
It will if we win.
Conspiracy, where did Shane go?
I don't know.
I'm a fucking chopper to another fucking island.
I already feel like I'm rich.
Oh, it's crazy.
Okay.
What are we going to buy first?
Okay, well, we're going to be right back.
And, yeah.
Okay, supposedly starting right now,
but it says it's, we'll be back at where to commercial break.
Oh, it's probably during the commercial.
Should you go to YouTube TV?
Why is it jeopardy?
Where's the lottery?
He's just Googling it.
I think we missed it.
It doesn't have anything yet.
Results are coming soon.
Okay, well, you know what this means?
It means we're going to have to do conspiracy corner first
before we find out if we're all 100 millionaires.
Damn, those are anti-climic.
Okay, no, see, it's meant to be because if we would have won the lottery right now,
we wouldn't have done conspiracy corner.
And we need to do conspiracy corner because we prepped it.
We're ready, baby.
And he needs it if this video goes live for the thumbnail.
Yes.
So here we go.
Okay, this first one is crazy.
You're going to think I'm joking with this.
Oh, sorry.
Hey, Katas, welcome back to conspiracies.
Okay, this first one is crazy.
You're going to think I'm joking.
But, well, let me just show.
Okay, but is it pet smart or pets smart?
Like, like, because they do look different.
Wait, let's talk about this for a second.
Now, it's been a while since I've been.
And in one, right?
But like, is it because you're being smart for your pet?
Or is it a mart for pets?
Okay.
But what do you guys think?
I think she's having a hard time understanding what wordplay is.
And it's a play on both.
Is it?
The fact that I've never thought about that as a consumer.
I call it pet smart.
Like, like pets, mart?
Well, like it's both.
It's a play on the word.
So I call it PetSmart.
So really it's genius.
What does that mean?
So I guess the way that I say, it's PetSmart.
Like a smart?
That still doesn't explain anything.
Like Pet?
Smart.
Yes.
I think that's how you say it.
But it's just like a fun play on words.
It's a double entendre.
So it's PetSmart and PetSmart.
Really?
I think it's always been Pets Mart.
Where's the apostrophe?
Well, I think the other
I thought it was always smart.
Pet smart?
Now that I think about that doesn't make any sense.
Yeah, why would it be that?
Real talk, I'm a Petco guy there.
I could just be imagining this,
but in my mind, I saw a commercial
where they said PetSmart.
We should look at a PetSmart commercial
to figure is it.
I could be wrong.
To get to the bottom of this,
we need to watch a PetSmart commercial.
Well, don't worry.
We're going to get to the bottom of this right now
because I went to the comment section
because I was like, oh my God, what is it?
Okay, well, I'm going to give you the answer.
right now here is the logo for pet smart the fuck oh my god i mean i know you guys all thought
that's what it was but i was sure but also like i don't even that's i didn't even think of the
logo though i was just like it's in my head it just made sense like it honestly makes more sense
the opposite yeah i'm going to the pet smart yeah pet smart yeah pet smart
smart for your pets if i win the lottery i'm changing it buying pet smart so here's
Here's what I advise to this company.
They put the red in mart as well, so the S is the only thing that's blue, so you get to choose.
But that would look like Chick-fil-A, that would look like Pet S. Mark.
Okay, then choose different colors.
Okay.
Well, speaking of things that really shook my brain, I want you to look at this clip from an animated movie.
I'm pretty sure it's not Shrek 2.
What?
The results.
The results?
The numbers are coming.
Oh, my God.
Okay, then you do it.
You do it.
32.
What?
32 is the first.
number so I'm out I give up 26 yep oh 13 no 22 how is it everything I didn't do
it's always that for me 65 and then the mega is 18 oh wait we're not rich is your channel
called national lottery yeah I think it's for that's for England I think it's for the UK
We still have a chance!
We can still be winners!
Okay, we can still be winners.
Oh, my God.
I think I might be wrong.
This is Friday, April 10.
I can't handle this.
We're May.
We're in May, baby.
Oh, but it says, oh, that's weird.
I can't handle this roller coaster.
We still have a chance.
We still have a chance.
Where's my ticket?
Can't handle this roller coaster?
Sorry.
This is crazy.
Did I really just watch your wrong?
You watched your wrong one.
Oh my God.
You've never been so happy to be around someone.
Can I just say if one of us would have,
if one of us would have, if one of us would have,
would have won from you reading the wrong.
Oh, that would have been the worst.
Oh, that would have been an unaliving in the studio.
Which is our house.
It would have been my 13th three.
Oh, my God.
That would have devalued the property.
You're done, you're fired.
How are we going to find the result?
We're going to figure it out in a second, but not right now because we can't go through
that again.
Okay.
So this next clip.
I can't focus.
At $300 million.
What do you want for me?
You still have a chance.
So you should be happy right now.
Okay, this is, shockingly enough, not from Shrek 2, although it very much looks like it is.
Here is something that some animators sneaked into this movie.
Wow.
I like how his mouth opens just before.
Now, to me, this is hilarious and fascinating because with these types of three.
movies every frame
takes hours so some guy
was like for hours just like
oh I'm gonna make him eat this ass
this goblin like what and then
Spencer I was like he's like what movie is this I'm like
I have no idea and then we both look we couldn't figure
out no one knows no one in the comments knew
and they were like what is this movie
this is lost media
that's what they call this
if I win the lottery
I'm gonna hire a team of investigators
to see exactly what this is
and I'm willing to drain my fucking account to do
Yes. Thank you.
Now, just when you didn't think it could get any creepier with, you know, what Apple is doing or any of these other companies that want to get into our lives and figure out what's going on in our brains, here is something that Apple has patented.
Patented.
Patented.
Whatever.
When I win the lottery, I'm patenting everything.
I found a patent that Apple is filed around Apple Earpire.
that you need to know about. Apple was successfully granted a patent around a major update on
AirPods, biosensors that can monitor your brain. Let me read you what the patent says Apple will be
able to scan your bio signals, including brain waves, muscle and eye movement, your heart function,
and your blood volume pulse. Imagine one of the biggest companies in the world being able to track
your focus at work, your stress levels, and what you're thinking during the day. Now that you know
that this is what's planned and this is what's coming, do you plan to keep using your AirPods? Let me
know in the comments below.
Yeah, our old ones.
Oh, yeah, true.
They'll update.
I think something's always wrong with me
because I'm like,
imagine all the things you could do that.
Maybe you could prevent like a stroke or something
or maybe you could like,
if someone's really stressing
and tell you you're stressing too much.
And then you can monitor your levels on your phone
and see.
That's what my brain went to.
I'm like, all the good things this could be used for.
Well, that's exactly what Apple wants.
Well, just in general, when you use those
like wireless earpods,
only one of them actually connects to the device
and the other one connects
through Bluetooth through your brain.
So it's already sending like
microwave or wave signals through your brain
just to make them work.
You're kidding me.
Because like let's say this side is hooked up to your phone
but this side hooks up via Bluetooth to this side
so it's sending signals through your brain.
Wow.
Should we not be using that?
Nah, who cares?
Well, they do say that you should wear the wire ones instead.
You know who's not trying to collect
all of your information from your brain?
Racon.
And the noise cams
Isolation on them?
Isolation mode?
Come on.
God, that is so crazy.
Like, what is next?
And also the crazy part.
So Apple, they patented the Vision Pro.
I think it was like 15 years ago.
That thing sucks.
I'm so pissed.
Shane wouldn't let me return it.
And it's the biggest regret ever.
I knew that thing was going to be like,
have you heard anyone talking about it?
It's the future.
Literally such a flop on their end.
Okay.
I can't wait for Raikon to bring their guggers.
That's like RayVision?
Hello?
That's a Ray Vision.
Wow.
Yeah, but Apple patented the Ray.
The...
The AirPod.
What the fuck is it?
Air Vision.
They patented it like 15 years ago.
They've been working on it for that long.
So if they're patenting this this early,
like what else are they doing?
Bitch.
This is not really a conspiracy, but it's really fun.
And, well, just watch.
say she can't spin her fingers in opposite directions.
Turns out I can't either.
Okay, sounds so easy, right?
I was watching this and I was like, oh my God, like I could do this.
And then I spent like an hour trying.
I spent a lot of my youth learning how to do this
and I would say that I'm amongst the best in the world at it.
Wait, spinning your fingers in different directions.
Do you guys want to see how I do it and I do it probably the best in the world?
I'm being honest with you here.
I'm pretty great at it.
I need a little bit of room?
Yeah.
I would say that I could do a little bit better, but this is how you do it.
Watch.
That was pretty good.
Real talk.
You're doing it really fast.
Yeah.
I'm telling you, when I was younger, someone showed me that and said, I bet you can't do it,
so I learned how to do it.
And if there's a competition anywhere in the world, I'll challenge you to it.
But look at me.
Watch me.
Come at me, bro.
Come at me.
Wait, but are you, it's technically the same direction.
No, look.
Look, I'll do it slow for you.
Yeah, just slow.
Yeah.
Am I doing it?
Is it different direction?
Yeah.
I'm doing it, right?
I feel like there's a lack of impressiveness behind this.
Yeah, thank you guys.
Thank you.
It's faithful.
The face is so scary.
Well, you got to focus.
I can have a conversation while I'm doing it, though.
Hey.
All right, so I got a conspiracy for you guys.
It's going to blow your mind.
Yeah, I know.
You are a genius.
Dude, I waited my whole.
life for a moment to do that and impress somebody.
Wow. This is huge. We're impressed. How are we not going to win the lottery tonight when
something I've talked is my whole life finally fucking makes sense?
Just scan it one more time. Okay, here we go. You guys have been waiting for this
or dreading this like I have. We have a new dress. This is a new picture of a new item.
Somebody win me the lottery.
So this is hopefully not going to cause...
We already argued the whole episode.
I'm going to be agreeable.
What are the colors of this?
I can't do this.
I can't do this.
Pink and white.
I can't do this.
No way.
I would say that's light teeling gray.
It's like a girl's, like a baby girl's dresser.
I can't do this.
What do you see, Chris?
You can't do this.
What do you see?
I see like blue and gray, but the gray could be mistaken for people.
it could be mistaken for pink.
Oh, interesting.
I see like a light purple and a light teal,
but in the corner it's a little pink, so I see mostly purple.
It's like we're not even going to fight with each other
because we all see something different.
Thank God.
What did you see?
Like pink and white, like baby pink.
And white?
White is throwing me off.
I wish you weren't so far, so I could hold your hand.
Because we agree.
I see pink and white.
Yes!
This is our lottery.
Everything's coming together.
It's all happening tonight.
Okay.
Here's what I really do see, though.
I see pink and white in like weird bad lighting,
and the white kind of looks blue and the pink kind of looks gray.
So I can see both.
And I was like, wow, we're never going to know the answer.
But somebody had an idea.
They zoomed into the whitest part of this picture,
and then they recalibrated the white balance of this photo,
to show what the actual photo looked like in normal lighting.
Yeah.
Does that make sense?
Yeah.
Okay.
And here is what it actually looks like.
It is blue and gray.
No way.
Isn't that crazy?
I don't know that I trust the science of what you're saying that they did to this photo.
I also kind of don't trust it, but they say that that's what it is.
And then the owner of this dresser posted on Reddit and said, yes, this is my dresser, and it is teal and gray.
No.
Wouldn't be so weird
if like a picture you took
you didn't even know
it was like going viral
on the internet
and you just like
eventually gets back to you
like millions of people
want to know
but also who would take that?
I know what is this picture
yeah like Gary
this isn't true
he's fucking with us
so technically I was right
I said blue and gray
me too
but my minor OCD
is irritating the shit
out of me
with these handles
being all crooked
I can't do it
I have frustrated
those handles out
so there guys go
that is the
end of that. I guess we're never going to show that one again.
Thank God.
Okay, so our final theory, this, before we find out if we're all billionaires.
Are you saving it for the recap?
Yes.
Our final theory is from Jared.
Jared, you said you have one about the end of the world that is going to leave us shooken.
Yeah, so the other day I stumbled across something called the Adam and Eve story.
Has nothing to do with the Bible, actually.
Okay.
But what it is, is obviously the earth is rotating at like 26,000 miles per hour.
Now you're just showing off.
Yeah, you know, the word, you know, rotate a little.
like toy boat,
at like 26,000 miles an hour
and it has his orbit
and every 12,000 years
it hits this magnetic field
that shifts the north
and the south pole.
So like we don't,
the full planet doesn't spin
but the inner core actually spins
making north, north, south
and south north.
What? And what this does
is it causes like
two mile high tsunamis.
All of the volcanoes are going to erupt
and it's supposedly something
that every 12,000 years
resets humanity because it wipes out like 99% of the populations.
And that's why a lot of these rich elite people know it's about to happen.
That's why they're making the bunkers.
That's why they're trying to get us to Mars.
And no one's ever been able to do it or have they?
And that's why there's life on other planets already.
But this happened about 12,000 years ago.
But we're like overdue for it to happen at this point.
And that's why all these bunkers are getting built.
The craziest part, though, is in 1963.
a guy named Chan Thomas published the book,
the Adam and Eve story,
and the CIA actually banned it
and didn't declassified until 2013
and only declassified like 50 pages of it.
Wow.
So they're trying to hide it.
And now I think they're letting it out
because maybe they're thinking,
okay, we need to let it out
because it can happen any day now
and maybe there's minds on this planet
smart enough to help us get out of it.
So what's going to happen?
Like say it happens right now.
What happens?
So the first thing that's,
going to happen is we'll start to feel like
a huge earthquake. They said that
the mountains are going to look like
trees swaying back and forth. The earthquake
will be so violent. And then because
of the shift, we're going to experience
1,000 mile an hour winds. It's just going to shred
everything to fucking bits. And then
for six days, that's going to happen.
And on the seventh day, it's going to
start to slow down a little bit. And
then civilization will start over.
They have shows like that on Netflix that documents
every time the
earth was wiped. And, and
And so we're all fucked.
We just have to live every day, honestly, like it's our last.
Yeah.
Because what if you're having a really shitty day and that happens?
You'd be like, thank God.
Yeah.
What if you're having amazing?
What if we win the lottery in that house?
Oh, my God.
But it makes you think, you know?
It makes you really think.
I think Zuckerberg, I think right now is a great time to figure out how to befriend Mark Zuckerberg.
It makes you feel like what's worth working hard for.
But there it is.
Speaking of the end of the world as we know it, do we have the winning numbers?
Jared said that the real ones came in.
Oh my God.
I didn't look at them yet, guys, but I believe the real ones did come in.
Okay.
Well, get your scanner out.
Okay, here we go.
Oh, my God, I'm scared.
13.
13.
22.
Wait, these aren't these different numbers?
26.
Wait, aren't these ones?
Ryan had already read?
No.
32.
Oh, he's reading them in a different order.
Unfortunately, Ryland did read the right.
Oh, no.
And we all lost.
Hold on, let me scan.
Wait, that's weird.
That's weird that we scan and it didn't.
Sorry, this ticket's not a winner.
Whoever I keep refreshing.
It might be a typo on the website, guys.
We don't know yet.
Let me scan again.
It's crazy how we all felt like winner.
Sorry, this ticket's not a winner.
Okay.
One more.
There goes my tickets to Taylor Swoon.
Okay, final one.
Sorry.
Not a way.
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well
speaking of
depressing
I'm just kidding
that's how I'm feeling but I'm going to suppress it
right
well
we might have lost
the lottery
but we won
we lost the battle
but we won the war
Ryland take it away
it's not with this
On today's camera action
Ryland's recap is about to happen
Ryland's recap
On today's episode of the Shane Dawson podcast
We all dared to dream
And our dreams have been crushed
None of us are lottery winners
But we hope one of you are
You share it with us
And you're more generous than Spencer would have been
Oh we debuted a brand new game
That almost ruined all of our friendships
Um, uh-huh.
Oh, no.
He lost the lottery, and he lost everything.
Yeah.
Oh, no.
That's how it feels.
This sucked the life out of them.
Drake beat Taylor Swift.
No, he didn't.
Fuck right off.
The couch crew tries to convince me that Drake is better than Taylor Swift, and they can all go fuck themselves.
Oh, the girl, uh, our audience member got a gooch in her.
69.
A hairy gooch at that.
Yeah.
Everyone needs to be cautious when you're 60.
None of us want our face in a gooch smelling some stinky old shits from this morning.
That was great.
That was great.
He's back in.
He's back in.
He's back at it.
He's back at it.
My advice, don't 69.
Get on your knees.
What the fuck?
Take turns.
I love 609.
You got people.
A girlfriend shitter pants?
Oh, yeah.
We had to call her who shit her pants.
Yeah.
If you shit your pants in a relationship, whatever.
He's gone.
He's literally.
gone. Dude, in the Shrek
bootleg movie, they're eating ass.
We got goblins
butt munching. We have animators
creating fake movies to get us
all hyped up about eating ass.
AirPods.
The AirPods. Oh my God.
No, AirPods are dangerous. Apple, watch
the fuck out. Yeah, but we don't use them. We like
Rekat.
You looking at me dead. I'm smiling at you.
Shane's looking at me so dead.
I'm smiling at you.
Oh my God.
No, this one was shocking.
Is it Pets Smart?
Whoa.
Is it Pet Mart?
Whoa.
It's written down.
Dude, he is a broken man.
You know what?
Instead of doing a recap, just tell us what you would have done with all that money.
Oh, my gosh.
I would have retired.
None of you would ever see me again.
I would have so many people tending to the outdoors.
Like, this would look like Jurassic Park outside.
There would be flowers.
There would be roses.
You would just live on Guardians of the Galaxy.
Oh, I would have.
One, the debate for best ride.
Oh, he's back.
All thanks to my favorite, Chris Pratt.
God, I love him so much.
I do love him, too.
Oh, you and Chris fought, like, the whole show.
Oh, yeah.
Well, him in debating was just all wrong.
And he tried to take a hard stance, and I'm not into it.
You took hard stances the whole episode.
Yeah, wait a minute.
Oh, yeah, you shit on my outfit.
Oh, am I the asshole?
Yes. I'm the asshole and me and Chris's relationship.
I'm the asshole and me and Shane's relationship.
If you're ever wondering if I'm the asshole, yes, I am.
And just imagine, guys, if you would have won the lottery.
Oh, my God.
Whoa. Talk about it.
Taylor Swift is the best to ever live.
And with that, we'll see you next time.
Right here on Shane Dalsify.
You guys, I didn't win the lottery.
I'm grieving.
Fuck you.
Not you guys.
Sorry, it's not your fault.
No, I get it.
sit down. Take a seat.
Well, all right
guys go. Hopefully you enjoyed
whatever the fuck this was.
What a mess of an episode, but how much
fun did we have? A lot. Yes.
Yeah. We're not depressed at all.
Is it my fault because I was acting
ungrateful if Spencer gave us all a million dollars?
Oh, that's the lesson. That's the lesson
we were greedy. And I, you know what? I would have given you guys like
two million. Oh, he was testing us.
He was testing us.
And I just want everyone to know
It's the end of the fucking world
So none of this matters
Yes
Why are you guys go
See you on the other side
Or wait, whoa
No, we're all going to survive
It's going to be fine
See you guys in 12,000 years
We're still here, baby
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