The Shane Dawson Podcast - Conspiracy Theories! SUPER MARIO BROS and WE FIGHT AGAIN!!!

Episode Date: April 26, 2023

In this episode the guys are going FULL MARIO BROS! Throw in some of the wildest Viewer Submissions we’ve ever gotten and an INTENSE Conspiracy Corner and you’ve got yourself a SUPER time on the couch!!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Cheers. Let's all make up and love each other. I love you. Love you guys. I feel like every time I've done one of these. It's friends. Hi. Okay, we'll go back to whatever the hell.

This is Super Mario Edition. We look proper, dude. I think we can go down to Hollywood Boulevard right now and take pictures with people and clean up. You know what I'm saying? People like, dude, can we get a Mario picture? Wow, I do feel, okay, I have a lot to say right now. There's a lot going on.

Ryland, I don't even want to look at you. I don't even want to look at myself. I've never felt less confident on the podcast, quite honestly. Oh, now you know how I feel it. No, this was not Shane's fault this time. Like last time I was screaming at his makeup skills. This time I didn't want to shave. And then everything kept going wrong with the face.

And then we're like getting there halfway done. with the face and Shane's like, okay, where's your costume? And he looks at his Amazon and there's no costume delivered. I know. And your costume was like $200 and it never even showed up. And it was this epic Princess Peach dress very much obviously for like fetish porn. It's so beautiful with the clubs. And so yeah, now you're wearing, I don't fucking know what, but you look horrible. I'm kidding, you look beautiful. You still look kind of fetish porny though. Yeah. For sure. It's a beard. It's a It's a fetish, but it's a fetish. I looked at the mirror before he came out here and I was like, oh.

Once again, now you know how I feel. Um, Jared. What does Bowser does he even say anything or does shoot fireballs? I guess that's it? Yes, he's always trying to get Princess Peach. He's trying to steal her, dig her to her to a castle. It's very weird. Um, so Yoshi sucks up eggs and shits them out.

Relatable. Yeah, and, uh, you let, you get ridden by big, fat guys. This is all lining up. It's all making sense. So, yeah, you have your Yoshi outfit on, which is so cute. What are you going to do today that's Yoshi? Oh, I don't know. I don't really think about it.

I guess you just like... I just know he goes, yes. Do you have any hard-boiled eggs? I'm just saying the visual might be cool. Ooh, yes. Thumbnail. Doesn't he feel like, like, like, like, stuff? There's not a thing he did.

Okay. What are you going to let? I enjoyed that. So, no, this is not special. sponsored by Super Mario. They want nothing to do with us. We didn't even get invited to the Universal launch. It wasn't a lack of trying. Well, I actually didn't reach out because I got scared because I'm like, okay, I really wanted to go to the Super Mario World at Universal because it's open now. And they have like a Toad Cafe and they have like a Mario Kart ride. And I saw

a bunch of YouTubers there. So I was like, oh, I should reach out and ask if we can do a podcast there. But then I got scared that they were going to be like, well, we don't want to be associated with Shane. And then I'm like, wait, if the Universal doesn't want to be associated with me, how am I ever going to make movies? So I didn't want to spiral. So as of now, we're just pretending like we're there. And we'll pay for tickets when they become available to the general public. Yeah. So me, I just have to get this out of the way right now.

This Mario costume came with a fake fat stomach. So are you kidding? You thought this was me? No, I haven't seen it yet. I just didn't know Mario was like a thicky, a thickums. You know what? I don't think he really is. He's portrayed is pretty skinny in the game.

Well, yeah, he doesn't he? Oh, he's a plumber. He's proportional for his height. Yeah. Well, anyway, so this is like, so I just want to be. need to let you guys know if I stand up and you see it like it's not me I can't believe you didn't know well stand up let me see what's happening I didn't see you I was concerned I love you at all sizes oh that's the cutest fucking thing I've ever seen it might I'm too emotional for that today

that's going to make me cry um yeah so that's what's happening right now this is a mess but I love being in this mess together yeah so because I already started talking about my fake fat stomach I guess this is a good transition so Chris earlier before the show you were telling me that somebody, what happened? Somebody told you you're fat, or I'm getting it. What? You're not. Yeah, the last time I saw my mom, like almost immediately,

she was like, oh, Tessito, like, nice to see you, how are you? And then she was like, also, don't get any fatter. Like, you can't get any fatter. I just need you to know. How much do you weigh? I think, like, 170. But she doesn't know how much I weigh. I think that's like.

Yeah, I know, but it's good for the people at home to understand, like you're definitely not fat, you know what I'm saying by any means. Do you think anybody responds to something that blunt, though? Like, hey, you're fat knocking out. I mean, she said that and it, like, my day was ruined. Like, and it's all I've thought about her days. Can I ask a question? Because your mom is very sweet, friend of the pod, except when we talk about dicks.

I love her. I love her. I love her. So your mom, so she called you fat. Is that normal for her to do that? No. So, like, she must, is she okay? I mean, I have, she's, I have gained,

like in the year of depression from the breakup till now i have gained weight i used to like wear medium shirts and like now i'm somewhere between them sometimes large fits sometimes medium fits i'm somewhere in the middle now can't fuck off dude i'm in between exes i was actually crazy enough because your mom would probably think i'm morbidly obese because i would like 100 pounds more than you at my current heaviest i think i'm a little down now but i almost had to tell people. You're a little down now. Yeah, I'll take it.

I'll take it. I'm a little down now. I'm down. I would say I'm, you know, when I buy clothes for us for the podcast, I usually do 3X for both of us. You didn't have to ruin his day like that. No way. No, the realization comes when I think some of that should be a little tight.

And it's a 3X pimp. That's rough. That's rough. I don't think you, am I delusional? Because I don't think you guys look that big 3X must not be that long. This is why I married you. He's right, though. Neither of you look three.

Is this a conspiracy right now? Are they trying to do something to people and making sizes smaller and smaller? I will say there is. Is that a thing? Yes, but only at like fancy boogey stores. Rabbacrombie French. Yes. If you go to Ramblegrim French, the 3X there is a medium.

Oh, yeah. If you go to Walmart, a 3X, ooh, he feels like in. Oh, that women in it. Women in it. Oh, my God. Have you ever ordered anything for the Wish app that was like you think your size? Okay, so Wishap ships stuff from like Oftentimes Asian countries, yeah.

And I guess their sizes are a lot smaller and I ordered like a medium and it was like an infit, like it was so little and I had to get like a 2XL for like one of their shirts to fit me. They only promote like crack pipes and shit to me on her wish app. Yeah, like

why do you guys have the Wishap? Wishap is known for promoting like the weirdest shit like a golf club you could pee in. You know? What? Introducing the Euroclub, the discrete sanitary solution for your urgent relief what the fuck is going on in here on this day that was something i would see all the time i don't golf okay i need to get that to sponsor the show i wish i mean if i was having a day where i just thought where the fuck can i get like a hundred crack pipes for a dollar

and that wish that came up i'm like it's a godsend thank you wish sounds like a video idea to me um okay so i kind of want to talk about something a little more uh serious because i brought up the weight situation okay i need to get better at this because I feel like we talk about serious stuff on the podcast and, you know, people watching enjoy it. I enjoy it. I feel like it's cool to get deep. For some reason, I have trouble doing it like getting deep. And maybe today was the worst day to do this when you guys are wearing Yoshi and Bowser heads. It's the best day to do this.

Get deep, man. Thank you. How deep? Like, where are we going? I'm uncomfortable. We're talking about the divorce. What? Oh, my God.

I'm kidding. I want a different title. No, we're not getting divorced. So first of all. in happy news. Now, these podcasts, I don't know when this is going to come out. So you probably already know maybe from one of Rialand's videos. But Uno, we just got the call today. Uno is cancer-free, tumor-free. He doesn't have anything wrong with him, except for the fact that his owners are insane. But besides that, he is.

Shout out to him, though. A drastic difference from last time we recorded the podcast. It's been a whole week of what the fuck. And also, I'm just going to tell you. this. If you don't have pet insurance, I didn't know that was a thing. Pet insurance is something you need because all of Uno's tests combined like $7,000. Which, and then I was talking to my friend who was like, you don't have pet insurance? And she's like, yeah, my cat swallowed a toy and it would have been five grand, but then we had pet insurance, so it wasn't. So if you don't have pet insurance, get it. Because promise me, there will be a time where it's so expensive, the shit that goes wrong with your animals. So anyways, luckily, we could afford it. We got all the test done.

And they're all clean. Everything is good. So Uno's good. Although that was like, I think I downplayed it in the last episode because I was trying to like keep things funny and stuff. It was like this whole month has been weird. And that was kind of just another addition to it. I feel like this year, as good as it is, I feel like I've been struggling with being in like a transitional phase or like figuring out like what am I doing with my life? What do I want to do?

Right before Uno had a seizure, which put things in perspective. because what I'm about to say isn't that bad. But right before that, I had a phone call where basically this movie that I've been trying to make for three years, the people that were going to fund it just pulled the rug. And they were just like, never mind. Do you want to sell bubbleheads?

Like, it was very... Do you want to sell bubbleheads? Yes. Good luck to them. Bubbleheads very big right now. Wait, what? No, no. So this company, yeah, they kind of strung me along

for a few years. It was brutal. It was pretty heart-wrenching, which is fine. it's like I have to just focus on getting it made a different way, putting some of my own money into it and figuring that out. But yeah, and then it was like, Uno had a seizure, which put things in perspective. And then it was just like kind of thing after thing. And then where I'm getting to the weight thing is I've been on this medication for seven years, which I even named a shade

after it in the palette, the conspiracy palette. And I'm finally getting off it because I felt like I was going to have a heart attack or a stroke or something like that. Chris's dad had a stroke. it kind of was a big wake-up call for me personally because I had been having heart issues and I'd been ignoring it because this pill I thought I needed it and I also thought maybe it helped me not gain weight. It was a whole thing. So I'm detoxing from that, which has been horrible, made me very on edge and angry and like sensitive and crying a lot and also gaining weight, which is also my nightmare.

So I just want to be honest about it. I might get bigger throughout the journey of this podcast. I might go up and X. but I wanted to be honest about it so I'm not like self-conscious and thinking about it I am wearing a fat stomach right now I didn't plan that outright I don't mean to laugh

it was your delivery of just like as this podcast goes on I'm gonna get bigger which I know you're saying it in an honest way but it was your delivery but I don't think you should be so beautiful sorry side note

thank you I did so good okay keep going I mean I don't think you are I think it's in your head I don't that's not what I wasn't trying to get a compliment listen that's not what I'm saying though but every time you come to me

and you're like, I've gained a lot of weight. I'm like, no, you haven't. I know, and I have my issues, but I think it's more like, you know, I used to care a lot about losing weight. Like in my 20s, it was like, oh, I want to be thin. I want to look good on camera. I want to lose weight. I didn't care about the health.

I would work out and not eating stuff because I wanted to be thinner. I didn't care about heart attack or stroke or any of that. Now that we have a kid coming hopefully soon and like, I enjoy my life. I'm married. I'm like, oh, I actually don't want to have a heart attack and die. I don't want to have a stroke. So now this medication I've been on is could cause that. So it's just weird to like care about living.

You know what I mean? No, it is like it is. Like I think in your 20s maybe I mean maybe just me. But it's like you kind of just do things and not really think about it. And you're like, I'm not going to make it until 30. Like who cares anyways? And then once you're at 30 almost 35 and you have a kid coming, you're like, oh, I should care about living. But that's a good feeling.

I didn't make him feel that way. You helped. You got me there. Thank you for sharing all that, man. You know, it takes a lot to put yourself out there like that. And I believe that God has a reason for everything. Timing, obviously. And I'm glad to hear, you know, you're taking your health series like that.

Health is wealth, you know. And I'm with you. And if anything, also, it's good because it's not a bumby at all. But, you know, like, that's been something I've been on my mind, too. Like, and I kind of go back and forth with caring, but you're right. It is like a trip to care. It's like a very deep thing to like really care about it, you know? And it's like a very mature thing.

So I'm proud of you, man, you know, for everything. And I'm excited for everything you got going on. Well, thank you. I mean, my therapist did say like, you know, I was like, God, I'm so like emotional lately and like freaking out about health and this and that and whatever. And she's like, isn't it crazy like how much harder life is when you care about living? And I was like, yes. Yes. It is.

But I think that's, I think that's a good thing. thing. I want to bring a kid into this world caring enough about myself to where like, I don't know. Like I just can't even imagine like being on a pill and my heart's always racing and going crazy and trying to lose weight and doing this and doing that and then having a kid around to pick up all my bad habits. Like so so yeah, now I'm trying to just do more therapy, not take pills and live in my fat suit and be okay with it. And I say you're doing good because I was deep, dude. Thank you. I would say your exterior holds you back from. a lot of things in a lot of ways and you have made like such strides in overcoming that to live or to

want to live or for the future of our child or just you know for yourself in general like even the other day he hiked up a fucking mountain with me and he would have never done that not because he's not like you're filming I'm so scared not because he's like I won't work out with me like he works out almost every day but that's just something he would never do like in seven years of dating and you like went out there and did it for me not really like even because you wanted to public working out is a nightmare for me i don't like people hearing me breathe i like breathing heavy and like they walk past me and they're like geez that guy like i don't like that i don't like people seeing my sweat so yeah but you know for you and try new things well i have a few new ones to take

you on okay i think you're gonna come too he's a hiker now too yeah i recently got back into it you know saying he's a big hiker or wants to be you know and it's funny because we went to a hike and to me it was excruciating you know it was brutal I thought man this is like a real warrior thing to do this hike and uh along the hike there was people in their 60s and 70 strolling right past them uphill you know what I mean so obviously we're going slow and then as I went to look at the reviews all the reviews are like oh this is such a great hike especially if you want to take your kids for beginners I like to do this in the morning just to get my heart going I was like man that was like the most I can't imagine a tougher hike I mean I can't

can't get any more fat, so maybe I should hike with you. Oh my God, we could do a podcast hiking. That's horrible. Actually, never mind. Somebody's already doing that. What celebrity is that? AISMR breathing. Although, like, okay, there's a lot of things with this podcast I want to figure out. I'm enjoying it. I'm having fun and I enjoy, you know, doing this

with you guys. The guest situation. So I do want to figure out how to have guests. I have a couple lined up coming up soon that I think is going to be fun. I don't know. Like, do we want to have guests? Like, is that a thing we should do? Or would that just being too complicated. I will say that I guess by this time people will have seen because we had Morgan on the show that one time and that was real fun. I think anytime we've had a guest and we've

had a few other since, it's been a blast, you know, and it's cool to have somebody come in and vibe with for a couple minutes or whatever the case may be. And I think the thing I love about the podcast is we all bring these awesome perspectives and it kind of goes in weird directions sometimes, but it's always very entertaining, you know, and having another person. person that kind of bounce stuff off of his fun. I don't think we need it, but I think it's fun when we have it, even if it was like once a month, you know, or something like that, maybe bringing someone cool, my personal opinion?

Let us know in the comments. If you have any ideas for guests or people that you think would be fun on the show or that you want to see them, I know Jeffrey's coming on soon at some point. We have a makeup artist, Alexa Oakley coming on soon to talk about all her celebrity makeup that she does. Kitty Morton, our friend, who's a therapist. Finally, we're going to have a therapist on this funny show. Thank God.

Get to the bottom of some real shit. Yeah. Real talk. Let us know in the comments. And, yeah, we're going to take a short little break. I'm going to go drop an egg. Or no, that's you. Chris is going to go drop an egg.

I'm going to go. What does Mario do? We're going to touch his box, coins. I don't know. Okay, yeah. I'm going to go let go. You're going to go unclog that egg. Thank you.

You're going to go unclog a pipe? Oh, there you go. Yes. And, yeah, we'll be right back. See in a second. Flying First Class with Alaska Airlines isn't just about getting there. It's about enjoying the journey. journey, stretch out with industry leading leg room, sink into an adjustable headrest, and cozy

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your friend and jeweler. The boys were inventing apps while you guys were gone. What is it? What's the app? Okay, so there's two apps. Okay. If I can remember both of them, it's just a good idea. You know what I'm only a good idea. But so the one that I really like, because I don't know if this happens to you, but I call the wrong person all the time.

You know, like, I don't know why I think maybe it's a my phone thing or... The butt dial. Or like, it's a butt dial. It's a thing, right? Yeah. So I think there should be a confirmed call app where you press call and it doesn't just automatically call. It says confirm you want to call.

And you can set it to how many times you need to confirm it because maybe you really don't want to call. person. So like Jared said he'd set his to four questions before he actually set. Because maybe on the Thursdays like one, two. It seems like less of an app and more of like just an opinion to give to Apple. Okay, Apple if you're listening, there it is. I don't know how I would get money off of that. They're not. They're not. But yeah, it would be cool to see my idea on every phone in the world. Oh, you know, little things. What was Chris's app idea? Well, he's been getting in trouble for not emailing some people back, like multiple people, just clients, you know. Oh, you were the

inspirational co-founder and so he was saying well my email notification this isn't an app for me because my email notifications work but he said his email notifications don't work so then jared was like well there's probably an app that sends you a text message when you get an email that's important that you need to respond to urgently and well we didn't look to see if there is one that would be amazing because i miss emails all the time no matter what i do no matter how i change my settings i just never i i never know like that i get emails well i'm going to better myself this year getting off my meds and wanting to live

you get better at emails just you know that'll be your mission okay so you're probably wondering why I gave everybody ice cream cones in a cup and Mountain Dew Baja Blas from Taco Bell I would never even question why somebody would give me these two things I would just thank them

what are you going to do perfect I have no idea why I'm gaining weight so so this is kind of a life hack and kind of like something fun that I thought would just break up the vibe, get us back into having some fun on this episode. So I saw on Instagram, because I don't go on TikTok, I saw on Instagram that if you put a McDonald's ice cream cone inside of your Taco Bell Mountain Dew Baja blast, that it tastes like

the most amazing thing in the whole world, and it'll change your life. I'm concerned about your ratios, but I get where you're going with this. What do you mean? Like, I don't know if this is enough ice cream for such a large trend to drink, but you know, like, who am I to be a complainer when I was Grace is such wonderful things. These are the cups that they use on, they said it's 10 out of 10 bussing. Oh, so they think this is what they said. This is the proportions. You got to make room. You got to drink some.

You got to drink some. Oh my fucking. Sorry, Jesus. You normally, I just busted and not. This is the best thing I've ever had my entire life. Bob. I've never had this. I've never had a Baja.

It's really a pretty exclusive to Taco Bell. Yes, it is. Imagine if you grew up without a Taco Bell ever and you never even got to taste this. I'd be medium. to fucking have any of you had at there's a taco bell can'tina where you can get married in Vegas oh yeah and they have uh these but like margaritas like alcohol and they're so good wow they're delicious so i guess what you do is you open up this is a nightmare you open up the baha blast i will say like what teenager is going to want to like go to

taco bell get their baha blasts go to mcdonalds get their ice cream going it seems like what else are they doing on a like weekend night or weekday night like i can think of why you would do it we did in high school was get in our cars and drive around and like hope for something to do. Okay, how do I do this? Just squeeze it out. Are you sure? You just pour it in the whole thing like that? Shane, no, pull your ice cream cone out. Stop yelling at me. Can I pass? No, you have to do it. This is so good though. Wait, is it a cone too in there? And I'm like trying to be on a sugar diet. Well, this is a good excuse to like break my diet. From what I've seen the big cure. I'm going to let my costume. It's not bad for you. You don't think so?

Well, Jared just had that. That looked incredible. Shane, it's spilling. Oh, no, shit. Dude, I would not let anyone do this shit in my car. If I was driving, I'd get the fuck out of my car if you want to be doing that. Oh, this is not. I don't even need, I don't even like that.

I know, I know, it's okay. It's going to be good. Wow. It's going to be good. Do you mix? Ooh, it's so cold. My fat stomach's absorbing it. My fat, big stomach.

Dude, you dip the cone in the fucking Baja Blast. Can I just try it yours, Shane? I don't want to ruin this ice cream come. Oh my God. Is it? Shane. I don't know if your camera's getting how soaked you are. It's really bad.

But it is so good. Wow. Listen, I'm going to give a 10 out of 10 bust in. Anybody else? A bit before it. Oh, you're right. It's good. Blasphemous to do a fucking Baja blast if it's not good.

Baja Blastiness. Can I try? You're Shane, I really want to save my ice cream con. Oh, my God. Right. Like, it's really important to me. Okay. Well, how are you going to do this? I don't think I'll find a way. I mean, I don't know if I mix it too much, but I'm just tasting less Baja Blast now.

Wow. But it makes it creamier. That looks like a dessert they would sell at the most trendiest spot. You know what I mean? I like the ice cream cone sticking out like that. It's really... Maybe, I don't know. After drinking, like, the Baja Blast first and then doing this, it just tastes like water now at Baja Blas.

Okay. See, I didn't do mine so I could give you the real truth. I have non. Wow. Flot twist. Oh my God. It is so much better without. It is. It's like so delicious and so much sugar.

Are you telling me I can't trust what kids on TikTok are telling me? What a fucking world am I living in it? Wow. Because this like packs a punch. The vanilla ice cream takes away the punch. It does somehow, right? Interesting. I guess we're busting, bust.

It's disgusting. Bus. If you really get the proper blend on it though It's pretty good It's like a Baja blasting cream Have you ever tried a plain ice cream cone You don't get looking like this bro Without trying to couple ice cream cones

Wow Okay well that was fun You know that boosted my spirits That got me back in the mood And you know what I'm ready for I am a little bit happier I'm Baja blasted Whatever that just was

You can't see it because of my fat fake stomach But I'm hard Wow Look at you look at you guys I'm trying to think of a name for this segment. Viewer interaction, that's boring. Viewer, I don't know. Basically, I want to do a segment where we incorporate you guys into the show more

because today we have some viewers submitted emails that you guys sent to the Shane Dossom podcast stuff at gmail.com. And we also have some viewer voicemails to get some more advice. I thought of a quick name. What? Viewers are great. I need a suggestion. Okay.

It also is the acronym, vaginas. you know what we're going to go with that it's cool so now for vaginas which actually works because 85% of you have vaginas yes power to the vagina I thought you were going to say had questions about their vaginas and I was like we're not the podcast we've got one man that's seen one I've played with one oh I guess you're okay whatever I'm bi-raising you yeah thank you anyways okay so first I want to show you something speaking of

Ryland looking like a beautiful woman Taufer sent us an email and said Ryland would look really great with long hair or a man bun. And then did some photoshopping himself or herself. Are you kidding me? At this picture. Is this what you had sent me? Doesn't that actually look good? He looks like the character on Nashville that we talked about in the last episode.

He does. He does, but that's a man bun? Oh, no, that's just like long man hair. Oh. Look at that Uno Latte. I feel like you look artsy. You look like you're going to write a song. I mean, that picture looks pretty good.

It's exactly like the guy from Nashville. You don't like it. You hate it. What's wrong? I'm, like, it's not his. Photoshop job. I just don't think I'm into it. Okay, well, you look very Christian, which like

I mentioned it. Yeah, like I look like I just came from my church and I performed there on Sunday mornings for sure. And I'm like, The nails in his hands. Okay, anyway, just me. I'll do it if that's what they want. Okay, well, the next picture is from Diana

and she said, I want you to be aware that women are growers too. I love the podcast, and this is a picture of her. She said she's a lesbian grower. Wow. What's growing? I don't know, but she is holding a very large dildo that I'm going to have to pixelate.

I don't quite understand. I'm here for it. But yeah, there is. Does that thing pump it up? What? We just all have logistical questions. I'm just wondering if she's just like a part of the grower community in spirit or if the women can engorge a little. She said I'm a grower.

So I was just like. I think we're taking it too literally. Yeah, I think it's too literal. There are inflatable dildos. Oh. That's a thing. Why? I don't know why.

Like you put it in first and then you blow it up? I hope not. I don't know, actually. Wow, let's try that out. So, yeah, if you want a 10% off merch, yeah, code grower. Okay, we're going to move on. At shane-dawsonmerch.com. Yes.

Okay, so, okay, you know what, Diana, leave us a message on our voicemail and tell us how you're a grower. And also, like, what do you do with that dildo? I mean, she uses it. What are you talking about? You wouldn't have, like, a photo dildo and a dildo dildo. Hold on, but she said she's a lesbian, and it looks like a very real penis. So wouldn't a lesbian want something that didn't look like a real penis? Wouldn't that disgust them?

I have a lot of questions. Okay, wow. Because I thought, well, yeah, lesbians still like to maybe have strap-ons and stuff. You know, that would make sense, I guess. But I would think they'd just look like pegs if they don't like penises. No, it should look like things lesbians like. That's what I mean. I'm not lesbians, so I can't speak for them.

As a gay man, I definitely wouldn't like a fake vagina. You know how they have those like fake butts and fake vaginas, the like rubbery ones? maybe a boob like a long boob I don't know with a nipple on it I listen an erect nipple I think it's just about the pleasure of the thing and not as much I know but it's very visual

hold on don't get woke on this if I told you if I said hey I'm gonna give you something to jerk off into right like a butt pussy or a fake pussy a bussy if I said here's a fake bussy a flashlight if it looked like a big pussy a big hairy pussy you

could still get hard no I told I very much understand what you're saying. I totally understand what you're saying. I'm not trying to finish that at all. I'm just imagining that for them it's probably more about it just feeling good and not about the fact that. But a big dick coming at them? I have a question. Yeah, I'd be like

it's a no for me. Diana, call the show. It could have just strictly been aesthetics for the shoot. I don't want vaginas coming at me. Or like boobies coming at me. I mean, I like a boob. Do you think Diana knew we would have so many questions? And are we just very stupid or are we? Well like how about this? I like women

Diana likes women yeah I don't have a dildo but you don't have a vagina but some I have a butt some straight that is true maybe I want to but diana's but diana doesn't suck on it or something I don't know but Diana doesn't have somebody with a dick but there are straight guys who play with dildos because it just feels good maybe no weird comparison but don't delto judge sorry that was very judge

mental president. Maybe that's the segment. But hey, listen, just because you're gay or straight doesn't mean that you don't have the prostate that feels great. Exactly. Men have G spots. Have we talked about this? Wow. But that's what I mean like, so maybe straight guys should have dildos. Yeah, because there's a G spot. It's wonderful.

Diana, what have you done? Yeah, thank you, Diana, for really opening up the floodgates on a horrible conversation. She will forever be dildo Diana to me. Yes. Shout out to Didi. Um, okay, voicemail. So, let's see.

Oh, this one isn't really advice, but it just kind of shook me, and I wanted you guys to join the shook party. Okay, here we go. Did you know that chickens can purr when they're happy? They can. Okay, bye. Okay, so she said chickens can purr. I have a video to show you.

No. You like your neck rubs. And your head rubs. That's so cute. Okay, can I just say not to get conspiracy about it? But that's a dinosaur. Look at its fucking eye and its beak. Aren't they the closest related to like dinosaur's DNA out of anything living currently?

Yes. And that's, is that why raptors go? Oh. Are chickens little raptors? We're not doing conspiracies yet. I'm going to say yes. Wow. So that was crazy.

Thank you so much for that voicemail. I did not know that chickens purred. That changed my life. That is a great fact. Chickens are awesome. Okay. So our advice question comes from Julia. Okay.

So my name's Julia. I'm a college freshman, and I live with someone who does not necessarily know how to live with another person. And I need advice on how I literally cannot be in my room because my roommate and her boyfriend just are going at it in there all the time. I'm talking leaving period, sex towels on the bed, and I literally cannot be in there. And they also find it funny, like when I walk in on them. And so it's kind of just known that there's always.

these sex being had in my room. So they have any advice for that because I'm currently living out with common rooms. Thank you. Love's podcast. Hold on. What is a period sex towel? Is that different than a... The women wipe their...

Because women are bleeding and if you have sex when they're on their period, they're going to be actively bleeding. I used to just rub it all over my body and let it dry. Stop it. There you go. I mean, that's what you should do. It's obviously weird they have a towel for it. Yes.

But I mean, you need a towel, though, because once the guy comes and you have all this mess, So you're going to need a towel. Come a see-through, though, and white, like, blood is red? You're ruining the towel. Get paper towels, or is that bad for the environment? I don't know. You rub it on to your body and let it dry. I think I have a few bits of advice.

I think I have three options, actually. Okay. One, be an entrepreneur. Get a video camera. Only fans. No. I'm just saying. Without them knowing?

In illegal advice. They like to do this. Say, hey, 50-50 partners. Oh, they're in on. And I'll be your manager, and I'm just going to video. tape you guys. I have to fucking watch it anyways. I might as well make money on it. Only what. Option two, just be real

fucking creepy or something. Like get popcorn and nachos and just stare at them while they're doing it and like laugh and make comments about it. I like that because they're getting off on making her uncomfortable. Double down and make them uncomfortable. Bite fire with fire. Or get the fuck out of there. I don't know. Make a complaint move. You know what I mean?

It can't be. It's not like you're on a contract to stay there you're going to rest. There's also always the option where you sit her down and say like, I know you guys think this is funny and I play into it sometimes because it's awkward for me and I just don't know what else to do, but I'm actually severely uncomfortable. And if you guys could have sex at his house, they're freshman in college, they're going to laugh at you. They're going to laugh. They're going to laugh. I would just say, get the fuck out, make money on it, or make them, see if you could out uncomfortable them.

Wow. Good idea. Like, just like shit and just leave it in the toilet. Dude, just shit in a bucket in the middle of the room while they're doing it. I don't know. I think when you're 19, you can have a productive conversation with somebody. Yeah, I agree with Ryan. But, hey, I mean, an idiot and a smart person. arguing or two idiots arguing it might just be that well here's the thing i'm not able to give advice on this because i realized recently i'm like i've never had a roommate because i live with mom she was my roommate and then i lived with you and your wife so you guys were my roommates and then

i went right into a relationship so she was my roommate and then you so i'm like i've never i've always lived with somebody but not like a roommate situation where there's like a common space and you know oh can i watch tv and they're like you know no like i've never done that have you guys I've never done that either, actually. I literally just had this conversation yesterday with somebody. That you have or not? That I have never done it. What?

And I wouldn't want to. Yeah, me neither. I don't think I'd want to. So blessed. You guys are all so blessed. What the hell? How are you in positions to not? Where did you live to not have a roommate?

With my parents? When you moved out? You moved out alone or with a boyfriend? With my boyfriend. Oh. So as the girl with the most advice on this, what would you say? Well, I found my first roommate on Craigslist. Hello?

I don't know if that's good advice. This is advice on having a roommate? It sounds like they're bedroom mates. They're like dorm mates, so they're in the same room. Oh, I shared a studio with one of them. Well, who became my best friend. I then shared a studio apartment. So it was essentially one big room.

What happened when they were going to like beat cheeks with somebody or something? What happened? You either had to do it when the other person wasn't home or you'd go to the significant other's house. That's just how it was. Yeah. So the fact that they're just doing it like that inconsiderably, I don't think. Yeah, a couple of times.

The car was a better option than, like, in front of somebody. Yeah, I did that a couple of times. Like, my first, the first time I ever jacked off with a guy was in a car outside of the apartment. Because I didn't want to bring her up in my studio, him up in my studio apartment. That's so crassed. It's so visual. You know what? Okay, first of all.

Hey, that was Craigslist, too. This was before I had existed. Why would we stop? I'm just kidding. I have a question. Have we given advice? I don't remember. Yes, we did.

If you want to jack off in your car, go on Drake's list. Yes. Good luck on your roommate's situation. Give us an update. I'm so sorry. Also, tell them to stop ruining the towels or by red towels. I don't know if that's around anymore on Craigslist. Like, men seeking men?

They took it out. That was hot business. That's how I got my first one. I mean, very dangerous, but also, like, super hot. Can I ask a question? Yeah, go for it. Your brother's uncomfortable, but. No, it gave me a little bit of the game.

It was just a raw moment, dude, and it got me. Period. So what do you mean? So you got in somebody's car. Did you know, did you say anything? I was a Craigslist addict, okay? I was finding jobs on Craigslist. I found my roommate on Craigslist and I found the first guy to experiment with on Craigslist.

So that's a hot app for me. They should sponsor a lot of things. What was the post that got you to do it? Like, was it, did he, did you make a post? We were both like closeted gay guys that had never had an experience and we were both trying to figure it out. And so I don't remember who messaged who. but then we talked for a few days on it. He was more...

On Craigslist? Mm-hmm. Okay. Well, no, but then it turns into email. It was like, we weren't hooking up to have sex because we just wanted to see. And it was just really to confirm for myself that I was gay because growing up, it's like,

you don't, I don't know, I didn't have any gay examples in my life. And so when I moved here, I, like, thought maybe I was gay, but I just had to, like, have a confirmation. Right when it happened, I was like, I didn't even like him, but I was like, oh, it all makes sense. Like, I'm definitely. You had a dick in your hand and that's what I was like oh fuck yeah this makes sense I would never can ask a kind of serious question yeah you said you didn't have like a lot of gay

examples growing up how does it feel now being the gay example for a lot of people for some people for some people you are no you're an insurgation yes I I do appreciate the fact if Shane and I together can show somebody a regular love story that happens to be gay I don't like shoving gay down someone's throat I just I know I'm serious I don't I really don't like and there's no hate against somebody who's identity is being gay that's just not for me I Chris is right here no Chris is Chris to me is a degree away from that you know I agree it's not like Chris is walking in every day like sorry I just got back from a parade like you don't do that is it weird that I never think about the fact that we're two guys I mean maybe I should but like

Somebody on your wedding video, somebody who's just like, I'm so happy that everybody in the city office was like nice to you guys, even though you're two guys. And I was just like, oh, I guess people do disagree with being married. Shane's like, that's my wife. Like, girlfriend. I'm confused. But yeah, I guess I don't think about it. And maybe it is just because like. I don't either. We're lucky. We live in a state. We're lucky. We live in a state that it's not a problem. I think subconsciously, I moved to a state that it wasn't a problem or that everyone, even if you're not gay, you're like celebrating. rated to be weird. It's like you can do, like, nothing's weird in Hollywood. You, like, walk down the street and you're going to see every flavor of everything. And it's like, oh, great, that guy's living it up. And there's nothing weird about being gay, you know? Thank you, Jared.

That was really nice. Okay. So, yeah, that wraps up the viewer section of our show. I don't think we helped at all. No, I think. We left with more questions than they had questions. Yes. So, yeah.

Okay, I had a thing I wanted to talk about because I'm curious what you're guys his experiences with this. So I'm obsessed with lucid dreaming. Does anybody know what that is? Yes. Vaguely. Explain. Okay, so lucid dreaming is when you're in a dream and you're aware that you're in a dream

and then you can start to control your dream. You can fly, you can do things, you can jack off in cars, for the people. Lucid dreaming should be my New Year's resolution. This sounds amazing. Okay, it's March. This episode is brought to you by Amazon's blink video doorbell. Get more at your door with the easy to. to install blink video doorbell.

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that will sweep through your senses so keep the coffee pours long and the cool sip slow Café Bustelo is taqui But yeah, good resolution It's February. Oh, fuck. I actually can teach you how to lose a dream.

So I wanted to figure out if there was like tricks you could do to teach people how. So you guys watching at home, if you want to try to lose a dream, which is the best thing in the whole world, here's some ideas. Are we getting advice from somebody

that can successfully do this? I can. You do? Yes. You control your dreams? Yes. So I have a trick that makes me in my dream know that I'm in a dream.

And the second you know you're in a dream, you can do whatever you want. And it lasts forever. It's like the longest dream ever. It's amazing. It's like the Matrix. Yeah, literally. It's like inception.

It's like you can like move buildings and do all that crazy fucking shit. I've never been able to do this. This is exciting. Okay, it's everything. When you're falling asleep or when you're laying down to go to sleep, you have to tell yourself

over and over and over again tonight i will know i'm dreaming tonight i will know i'm dreaming am i dreaming i know i'm dreaming so it's like you kind of got tell yourself that over and over again so your brain soaks it up then before you go to bed you look at your hands because when you look at your hands in a dream they don't look normal they don't look like hands they're either disappeared or there's like 10 extra fingers and this is for all people yes so there's certain things and dreams that are like off your hands if you look in a mirror in a dream it ain't you It's going to be something crazy. That's scary.

If you try to read something in a dream, it ain't words. It's something scary. Like, your brain can't comprehend certain things in dreams. And your brain is making up your dream as it goes. Kind of like a simulation. So, like, if you look up at the sky in your dream, it'll be blue. And then if you look away and look back up again, it'll be something else. Well, how do we get to this point to even validate we're in a dream or not?

Like, how are we aware enough to do those things? I'd love to walk to a- That's why you would look at your hand because you need a trigger. Because the first thing you're doing, like you're saying is, you incubate the dream. Or you can like think about a topic. You could really focus on something that will lead you into the dream. But you need to find like a tell, you know, something that you can tell your subconscious

that this is a dream. That's why people say look at a watch or look at something else. I know. I feel like I never even get to a point where I can validate if it's a dream or not. So let me explain. So in your daily life, the whole point is you have to train your brain to ask your yourself, am I dreaming? Because if you train your brain to do that in your not dreaming life, it'll start doing that in your dreaming way. So if you look in a mirror, every time you look in a mirror

for like the next week, look in the mirror and look at yourself and say, am I dreaming? Have somebody in your life randomly ask you every day, are you dreaming? And you say, no. It sounds crazy. But because your brain now is used to hearing that, in your dream, somebody will come up to you a stranger and say, are you dreaming? And because you're in a dream, that will click and you'll say, yes I am. Because your brain now is self-aware that there's dreams that exist. Why am I scared? I know. It is kind of scary. So that's what somebody will come up to you. If in your life, so one idea I saw that was kind of smart was on your phone screen, just have text that says, are you dreaming? So every time you look at your phone, it says, are you dreaming? And then when you're in your

dream, you'll see that text somewhere. And then once you say yes, snap, you're aware, and you can do whatever the fuck you want. So now once you're in your dream and somebody comes up, to you and says, are you dreaming? Or if you look in a mirror and, you know, you realize that you're dreaming, there's certain other tests to do to make sure that you're dreaming. One of them is try to put your finger into your palm. In real life, obviously, it doesn't do anything. In a dream, your finger will go right there. Like a ghost. Yes. So that was something that I do in my dreams is I'll put my hands together and they just fade into nothing. It's really scary. So another thing is like Jared said, checking your watch because your brain can't comprehend time, really.

So you'll see a time, you'll look away, look at the watch, it'll be a different time. Because your brain just can't comprehend keeping track of that. Now, this is the one that I always do, and it's my favorite. When I'm in a dream, and I think, am I dreaming just to double check? Because in your dreams, you want to jump and fly, right? But you want to make sure that you're a sure dream. Like, am I on a roof for real, or is this a dream? So one thing I do is I'll grab a cereal box, and I'll look at the back of the box,

or I'll look at the ingredients, and it'll just be gibber. because your brain can't create words like that. Oh, you can eat anything without a consequence? Yes, my favorite part. So if you look at the cereal box and it's all gibberish, you're like, oh, okay, I'm dreaming. Cool. Fly. Like that's how you can kind of.

I would be like, test it. Yes. Okay. So those are the ways to test. So if I were you guys and Riley, you should start this too. Every day when you look in the mirror, ask yourself if you're dreaming. I will randomly throughout the day and say, are you dreaming? And you'll have to answer.

Okay. And then when you go to bed, think I'm going to dream tonight and I'm going to be able to lucid dream i'm going to be able to lucid dream you have to think about it before you fall asleep and then when you fall asleep see what happens okay let's literally ask each other every day for a week okay and by next podcast see if i can accomplish this can you change settings or are you like stuck in the setting that your mind has created you can do anything you want in a dream so you can be like okay i'm aware let's bulldoze it to this location or fly to this location so you can choose your own dream so what yes what i do in my dreams is when

I'm aware that I'm in a dream and I've looked at, you know, the cereal box or I've done the thing and I'm, okay, I'm in a dream. I will literally go, and I can just make it anything I want. It's like, I'm in Disneyland. I'm at Taco Bell. Like, you can just do that. Yeah, it's always Taco Bell. And you can do whatever you want. And everything's free and calories don't count.

Yes. I mean, I'm ready. Okay. All right. We're going to take a quick little break. I'm going to go fly into nothing. And when we come back, conspiracy theories. Okay, so I'm going to show you a few pictures that were taken at a popular kids party.

A bunch of white girls hanging out, living their lives, having fun, doing their thing, okay? Pretty normal, right? Yeah. To me, it all looks like the same person. I mean, that's what's kind of creeping me out. Or at least the people picture it together look exactly alike. Okay, yeah, there are definitely similarities between all of them. Well, that's because all of them are fake.

They were all generated by an app called Mid Journey, which is AI. So this guy typed in. this mid-journey, people having fun at a party. And these are the pictures that it created. So none of these people exist. Isn't that crazy? So then he did it with guys. And he said, guys at a party. Now, the weird thing is, all of the guys look very similar. So the AI just created kind of the same fucking Abercrombie douchebag over and over again. But those are all pictures of fake guys at a party. Isn't that crazy? Everything is fake. The background, the people. So it like Photoshopped everything together? Pulling from images on like the internet or something?

From what I've seen, no. It's just creating people. Dude, it looks scary now that I know that, dude. It's like creepy. All the people, they do look really similar, like Jared was saying. Well, here's what's really scary. If you actually look close to the picture, if you zoom in, you can see that this girl holding the camera has like 500 fingers.

Ooh, ew. Or if you look at their teeth, they all have like a million teeth. So there's just something slightly off on all, like it's a dream like you were talking about, how things aren't like in dreams? It's literally a dream. It's creating dream. Maybe AI is in our dreams. No, but that's really scary.

So then it got me thinking, like, if that's where the technology is now, where could it possibly go? What if somebody literally just, like, went into Mid Journey and typed in, like, you know, Donald Trump doing this or Joe Biden, you know, I don't, I'm scared to even say it. But like, then what if it literally creates images that look just like it? And then people are like, oh, my God, did you see that picture of this? And then it, like, ruined somebody's life. And even worse video. That's so. You look so sick.

Well, yeah, I just can't even imagine, like, with the state that the world is in, like, some crazy person creating something to take others down, and it's just going to... And then people, like, we're going to get to that point, and then all of these people are going to come out when they actually do bad shit, and they're going to be like, no, somebody created that AI image of me. And then it's going to be this thing of, like, did anybody actually do anything? And is our world even real? Apology videos are going to get good. Guys, it was AI. and I'm going to believe it I was always thinking if they could do this

then if you're like a movie star or in movies whatever the case may be they could just make you and you could just license your image out right so you never even have to physically go anywhere again it's oh yeah put me in the movie fuck it you know a million bucks yeah I just won't do any full frontal

we don't even have to do this podcast we could just have our AIs do it we should go into an AI system input all of our episodes so far and have AI spit out a script for our podcast and then we should say it. This is terrifying. What if that's what we're doing right now? When this comes to fruition, why are we even needed?

Like, if our movie stars become AI, it's like, true. Have you seen VR porn, by the way? Yes. Not that I watch porn because I would never. But VR porn is fucking crazy. It is. I don't have a VR machine.

Maybe I'll get one. But no, I won't. I don't need one. I have you. So it literally, you put it on or you look at it. And it's like, having sex with someone. You look around.

So you're like looking down at your dick inside of somebody? And then they sell like, you know, I don't have this, but they sell an electronic dick sucker machine thing and you just put it there. And then you look down and somebody's sucking your dick and you feel it's sucking your dick. It's like, like why even leave the hell. This is dark. Dude, that sounds like the saddest existence I've ever heard of my wife.

Can you imagine though? It's like, who would even admit? It's like, oh yeah, bro. Hey, give me like an hour. So I'm about to watch VR board with my, you know, rotary dick sucking machine. for like 30, 40 minutes, you know. It was a long time. I was going to say, well, it's just sad that they're not, like, out there finding somebody real,

but, like, people are also watching porn. So why wouldn't you elevate your porn, like, I guess? Dude, there's plenty of people out there to have sex with. Okay, for the women watching, do you watch porn? Or does your man watch porn? Okay, so now moving on to other things that are scary. I have a couple more visual illusions, or optical illusions, I guess. Now, we had so much fun doing this last time.

I wanted to do more. Okay, so look at this video and tell me what animal you think this is. A bird, a crow. Yeah, a raven, a crow. You don't see a bunny? Oh, whoa, my gosh. Those are his ears. Is it a bunny?

Yes. What do you think it is? I still think it's a crow. Oh, no, are you not looking the other way? Now, all I can see is the bunny. I get it. This is crazy. I'm committing to it to crow.

So it actually is a raven. But this went viral because people thought it was a bunny. So, is it a bunny or is it a raven? It's a trip when you say, look at it as a bunny. When you sent it, it fucked me for sure. So I didn't know what it was because I literally couldn't find the answer. I saw this clip and it just said, is it a bunny or a raven? And I could not find the answer.

I googled. I couldn't find it. Finally, after an hour, I found the answer. It is a raven. But isn't that crazy? Yeah. Because yeah, all I see is the bunny. Unless the bunny has no nose and mouth because that guy is petting right where that would be.

Okay, now look at this picture. So you see a bunch of lines, right? Shake your head. oh my gosh yeah it's like very clearly a cat isn't that crazy so you can't see it when you're looking straight at it but when you shake your head so then i started thinking are people sending messages or pictures or things that they want secret to each other using this technique shake it baby because you can do anything you want and nobody would even know and then you know like say for example i want to show you something that i don't want anybody to see i'll just put these black and white lines over it you shake it and you get my head message what so what i should do is like an app that could shake images. You should make an app that does this. I'll learn how to do that. Just an idea.

Okay. Now this is an update on the blue and black dress. I was so happy. Why would you do this to us again? I'm going to help you guys because you're broken. You're broken. Okay. So you guys see white and gold, right?

Yes. Wrong. This is angering now. And I was so happy when I asked Sandy. And she told me she saw blue because I was like, we can't be the game. There's no way, though, when you're seeing the over-exposed one

that you're thinking that it's actually that. What do you see right now before I even play the video? It looks white with something reflecting on it. You are so crazy. And it's literally blue. And gold. It looks white and gold. Okay.

Now, this isn't going to piss me off, but let's do it. So, it's like... Keep watching. Ready? Watch it and tell me what you see. I've learned that this could help you see both. It's still white. Okay.

Do you see it? I mean, it still just looks like white that's saturated. Shut up. Yeah, I don't see it. You see... You see... What? Listen. It's so fucking blue.

It's crazy. No. No. More than half the room. Listen, listen, listen. There's a blue tint, but the base of that is white. Like, it's like... You're insane.

It's like I watercolored, like, the lightest possible hint of blue over something that's white. I just zoomed it. I don't know how to not be offensive. There's no way. They're just like, they're bold-faced liars. They just want to, like, stand in this to be opposing to us. Can I say something? We're not going to start.

We're being very typical. We're saying like... Hold on. Why? Why can't you hold on? Can I speak? No, no, I got to be honest. You guys, whatever you just said in the last five minutes, like, didn't make any sense to

me or justify anything. Like, none of it even like... Because it's a blue and black dress. That's fine. What I want you to do? You said you know it's blue and black. The actual dress in real life. Don't ever bring this up to me again.

I don't ever, like, if you want to stay married to me, you're going to put this. To rest. Okay. I need you to know, like, the entire week after the last episode, I brought it up to so many people. It's, like, ruined my life. Yeah. It's really infuriating because, like, listen, I'm okay living in a world where you guys see something else. But you weren't.

You were getting just as raised voice and upset as I was. Okay. I know. Because it is crazy to me. But I'm able to move on and live my life. Okay, let's do that. I love and respect everyone in the room. I hate everybody at the room.

this moment. Oh, okay. This is fun. This will get us back into having fun again. This will be a fun experiment. Can you look at me with any sort of love? Our dog is cancer-free. Are we still friends? Thank you. I don't know. We're fine. We're fine. It's a fine. Okay. Okay. So this is a kind of a theory, but not really. So you know Dr. Pepper. Oh, yeah. How many flavors? 23. Right. You would think. Whoa. So, doc. I didn't know that. I am already. impressed. So, yeah, that's a theory. So Dr. Pepper has 23 unique special secret ingredients, and that's why it tastes like Dr. Pepper. It tastes like nothing else in the world, except for Dr. Shasta and Dr. Pip. But, so the theory is that Dr. Pepper actually is just a combination

of Coke and Root Beer, and that it actually isn't this crazy secret of thing. The guy who made Coke and Root Beer was like, oh, what if I combine them? Oh, that's a new one. Eh, I'll call it something else. And 23 flavors when you combine those. So, I have Coke and Root beer. We're going to combine it and we're going to see if it tastes like Dr. Root. So the doctor just performed a surgery and stitched them together?

Yes. Okay, before I give you guys the sodas that we're cooking up right now, what's wrong? I don't know why. Just going from like how angry you were to like, this is so, I don't know, I have giggles. I'm sorry. I mean, I'm not actually, when me and Ryan was fight, we're not actually, I'm not actually angry.

Are you? I just have giggles. I'm only angry because you cut me off. It was so great. when I had a valid point but it's fine we're moving on okay to be honest you had repeated yourself a lot

well because it wasn't sinking in I'm sorry I just have giggles so you want to make your point nope next time I debate I'll make sure that make your point no I've already made it you you fucked yourself when you pulled up your next photo

that you had Photoshop to make it look different I did the same thing that I did on the grass okay I'm done I didn't mean to bring it out I just had giggles I'm sorry so before we taste a soda this is another food one that I heard about. That was crazy. This is not confirmed. I got this from a semi-inside source. But did you know that the Wendy's chili? Do you know what that is? Yes. What? The Wendy's chili? Like, oh, sorry. I just love it. I thought you meant like, have you tried it or like.

You're aware of it. Yeah, that's what I thought you were asking. You're familiar. I actually don't eat chili from fast food restaurants. Why? So I don't know. Because it's chili from fast food restaurants. Wait, is it not chili? What do you mean what it is? Isn't all meat from fast food restaurants the same amount of questionable? I don't like chili in general. So what is it? So, okay. Now, once again, not confirmed. Don't confirm me, Wendy's. Oh, I'm scared. So the chili is actually all the cut-up burgers from the day before that they didn't sell. And they just created it. It's delicious. It's still good. Still good. I'm here for it. And then I did some more research. Did you know that buffets, like hometown buffet and stuff? Once again, not verified. I just heard about this.

Allegedly. All the food that they don't sell, instead of throwing it away, they chop it up and they just throw it into a bowl with water and they make soups. I mean, that's the food. I mean, that's a But that's what everyone does. That's why there's different soups of the week. That's like what most households that cook things do. Yeah, you know, but you don't. These have a resourceful element to it, but the chili one's kind of gross. Yeah.

You know? Yeah. Now, let's try the sodas. So Dr. Pepper is what we're looking at. Oh, I've been drinking it. I'm sorry. This is the mixed concoction. This is?

Okay, so this is Coke and root beer. So everybody, let's try and see if it tastes like Dr. Pepper. Cheers. Let's all make up and love each other. I love you. Love you guys. You're beautiful. Wait, do we have a Dr. Pepper?

Because now I don't remember what Dr. Pepper. It just tastes like Rupier. Yeah, I was going to say, I don't know what the ratio is. I mean, I get it. It's really good. I feel like every time I've done one of these, like a drink one. It never works. It's good.

Taste good. No complaints on the tape. This is debunked. It does. I don't know if I would trust your semi-close inside source anymore. Oh, we have Dr. Peppers. Hold on. Yeah, I mean, you just get a massive hit of root beer when you drink this.

Yeah. Yeah. But, I mean, I think that if you added, like, if it was a 75-25 ratio, it might be closer to this. I can see it getting here at some point. Oh, for Shane, that one. So you know what I've realized throughout this process? You can't trust TikTok or Instagram Reels. Wow, Dr. Pepper is good.

Time and time again, we're let down. Because this reel, you know. real on Instagram had like a million likes and it was a guy like did you know that this fucking you mix root beer and coke and it's Dr. Pepper it's not I bet root beer sales are down the fucking drain and they're like dude let's just piggyback it on Coca-Cola and Dr. Pepper and figure out a way to sell root beer you know what I'm wondering about like Stanley Cups why are Stanley Cups everywhere right now I mean I know I have one well it's the same like the marketing is everything like we're buying I mean I don't want to get into a different conspiracy but

everything is the same it's how you market it. Like I was watching a video about the guy that created liquid death that's just water in a can. And he's like, it's no different than just water, water, but it's how we marketed it, which is why it's become a seven billion or whatever, 700 million. Do you think they sent a bunch of free Stanley cups to all these influencer girls and told them and just now they're using it? And now all these girls watching it. Because I only bought it as a joke, but now I use it every day. And now I'm using it in this. So now people watching this are like, I want a pink Stanley cup. We're all. That's what I mean. It's all marketing. And like before this, it was Yeti was. like the hot brand. I think it still is for like a lot of people, but for the social media. I'm sorry to say definitively that these don't taste like at all. I know. Um, okay, you know what's going to make us not fight anymore? I don't know. You look like Lori from Shark Tank. Pitch me your products. You're absurd. Okay. I'm going to make it. Okay. I have an idea. It's a dress. Okay. Okay. Okay. It's very obviously blue black. Literally so blue black. Like totally not white gold at all. No. Do you want it?

See you later. Okay, Rhineland, let's stop fighting and let's get that recap. Meet the most capable CRV Honda has ever dreamed up. The all-new CRV Trail Sport Hybrid. With all-terrain tires and available enhanced traction control, it's built for wherever the day takes you. Heated front seats and a heated steering wheel, ideal for winter drives and crisp early starts.

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Karma you can count on. My camera action. Rylid's recap is about to happen. Ryland's recap. On today's episode of the Shane Dawson podcast, Shane and Rylan come close to divorce after fighting for the second time over a dress that's three years old.

Seven years old. Really? Time flies. When you're having fun and getting divorced. Okay. Um, uh, VR porn. I don't watch it. In optical news, you can now watch VR porn instead of going out in the real world and getting a disease.

Fucking your home for free. With a dick, uh, constructing machine. It will suck your dick at the same time. Yes. We don't need humans. Well, we need humans to make these things that we can use. But once they're made and once AI takes over. Baja blast is delicious with, uh, ice cream.

Oh, yes. Oh, TikTok is raving about Baja Blast infused with McDonald's ice cream cones. Turns out it's a flop. But some people in the nation like it. Apparently some people like it, and if you're one of them, I disagree. It took away the bite. The boys dress up is the cast of Mario. Everyone looks fantastic except for Peach.

Hey. Who has Peach Fuzz. That's a fun name. Dr. Pepper is its own. unique thing. Like, yes. In,

in big corporation news, there's a fly. Okay, sorry. Okay, in debunking TikTok trends, Coke and what is it? Coke and Rupert don't taste like that. The newscaster doesn't care about the story.

I fucking hate TikTok trends that are fake for views. Okay. We have questions for Diana. We need Diana to answer some questions about, Dildo Diana. Our favorite lesbian, Dildo Diana. We have questions. for you. Do lesbians like

realistic dicks or is there an alternative option? Also, are there dildos that are growers or are you just a grower in spirit? Or are you actually growing? So many questions. Call us. Let's get Diane on the show. 747-263-2512 if you want to call us

or leave a voicemail. 30 seconds or under. Oh, oh, you can get crack pipes on Wish. Yes. Wish is for everybody. Website alert. Get your crack pipe. said anything else you desire at wish.com, a gift for your grandma, a crackpipe, or some clothing. Not promoting crack pipes so YouTube doesn't demonetize us.

They're bad. Oh, if you want to lucid dream, you have to ask if you, what? In exciting news, if you want to escape reality, learn to lucid dream. Shane has all the tips for you and promises they'll work. If they don't, we're all screwed. We're doing free advice. What are you going to do? Chris is gay, but he's not Becking.

In gay news. I be gayer? How can you be gayer? Yeah. Make it your whole identity. Work on it. Do you have a, like a tattoo or something? Not yet. Is that going to bring me to the next level? It'll level you up a little bit.

Okay, the next level, let me think. I'll get it. A gay tattoo. Done. Rainbow flag. Done. All your profile pictures have to have the gay flag over it, like all your avatars. Your link needs to be like something supporting the gay.

Like, everything has to be gay. and every post has to be gay and it's like gay gay gay and then you're fired oh that's literally homophobic it's not homophobic it's just like if anyone's you look homophobic right now I'm not homophobic I love the gays I'm just saying like if the only thing you can talk about is being gay I think you need to find something else to talk about oh AI is scary and it's creating photos of white girls that all look the same take talk is already doing that though This whole episode might have been written by AI. In creeptastic news, the boys have retired, and this podcast is now run by AI bots.

And this is just the beginning. Oh, oh, Shane is wearing a fat suit, but also might be gaining weight. But that's okay, because health is wealth. In healthy news, Shane may be gaining weight. Okay, I hate this. But health is wealth, and he's off the pills, and he has less energy. you went on a hike man the man went on a hike yes I did he went on a high in social news social for me Shane went on his first ever hike to please me wow I'm such a good person such a great husband just stop being mad at me I love you there's no mountain you guys can't conquer thank you all right

oh oh happy news uno is cancer free oh in the best news of the week una dawson my favorite one of my favorite puffs is everything free. His seizure turned out to hopefully just be a one-off, and he is happy to wag his tail another day. Yay. Okay. I feel like that's a good place to end. Why don't you give us a wrap up?

All right. There you guys have it for today's episode of the Shane Dawson podcast. Make sure you're following us wherever you can follow us. Listen to the podcast, watch the podcast on YouTube. Make sure you subscribe and come back here in two weeks to get your next episode. We also have a voicemail. leave your voicemails.

You can find it in the description section below. Leave them under 30 seconds and shop your Shane Dawson merch at shandawsonmerch.com. And with that, we'll see you in two weeks. We'll love you. Goodbye. Wow, that was good.

That was, come on. That was amazing. Wow. Come on. Where you guys go? Hopefully you enjoyed whatever the hell this was, seriously. This was next level. This was a lot.

This was a joke in so many ways. But I love you guys. And thanks for letting me open up and get real. Of course. And, you know, as they say in Mario, game over. Bye, guys. See you next time. Bye.

Okay, I'm going to ride you, Chris. What?