The Shane Dawson Podcast - Craziest Conspiracy Theories and OUR LAWSUIT!!!

Episode Date: March 21, 2023

In this chaotic episode Shane and the guys dive into some of the most outlandish Conspiracy Theories they’ve ever heard! They also try the viral Fruit Roll Up Ice Cream Hack! Throw in some Cheap Tricks and Mandela Effects DEBUNKED and you got yourself a wild time on the couch!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Put the ice cream. What? You're crazy. And then you roll it up. You wait a few seconds. I'm so excited to fight into this. Hey, welcome back to whatever the hell this is, Ugly Edition. Yes.

I'm ugly and I'm proud. Big for yourself. Well, okay, listen. What? Well, I didn't have a theme because I didn't really prepare a theme for this episode as far as, like, our clothes go. So I was kind of pulling all the things that we haven't worn. yet because I thought they were kind of ugly, and I put them all together, except for yours. Although I would say that color is a little ugly, but you make it work. You know what? I wore this

shirt in a video and everyone told me maybe orange is my color. Oh my God. That's so sweet. Delusional, but sweet. I'm kidding. Orange is beautiful. And yeah, Jared's wearing this. I have no idea. It's like a Michelangelo paintings all over. This is awesome. So far I've got nothing but compliments from everybody. Oh, wow. I like it. Yeah, and Chris looks like a big gay fruit. Um, okay, I'm excited because this is a old school episode today. We have a cheap trick prepared. We have a German fact prepared. Me and Ryland have already had a fight off camera.

Like, we're already getting back into it. This is so fun. That's what's fun for you? Well, listen, I love playing the song, but hopefully we won't have to play it too many times today. Um, but yeah, you know what? I will give you some claps because you are here with a broken back. Oh. Carrying this whole show on his back, he broke it.

Look at that. Um, yeah, you broke your back. Well, kind of. That's, like, aggressive to say that. Yeah, I'm so sick of talking about it myself. I just feel like everyone that comes in contact with me, I'm sitting and, like, bitching about my back. And there's nobody worse than somebody that's, like,

complaining about how they feel. So, like, I don't even really want to bring that to all of you. Is that a personal attack? Is that, like, a personal attack or something? No. My therapist said I'm supposed to say how I feel, and I should always start statements I feel this way. I think that's fine, but there's a difference between saying something

versus going on a press tour about it. So I'm trying this new thing where I just shut up about it. That was a mini press tour. you know just a little mini one was that the farewell tour it wasn't unprompted farewell tour that is funny

he's back again no listen I never want you to change we were talking about this the other day because you were like we were watching one of the episodes and you were just like God I'm so annoying

I'm so loud I don't stop talking and I was like that's why I love you and that's why people like you because that's not a bad that's why I love you and that's why people like you no they love you

because you're loud and crazy and and annoying. I know, but there's a fine line. I can be loud and opinionated without like interrupting what people are saying. Like we were watching

and I was just like jumping into every angle. I'm like, just shut the fuck up, Ryland. It's fine. I want today, I want you to be

the most annoying you've ever been. Thank you. I'm ready for you. Chrissy, you look beautiful. Thank you. How is your life?

Oh. It shambles. No. I don't know. Better in some ways. My dad's doing better. Okay. That's good.

No clap. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, I think I told you guys, I don't know if I said on the podcast or off, but he's able to move his left leg, which was completely paralyzed, and we didn't know if he'd ever be able to move it again. And he can, like, fully lift it and, like, kind of walk a little bit now, which is he might have never been able to do that again.

More than I did today. He's killing it. Sorry. I'm very proud of Chris's dad. That is incredible. Active. Yeah. Shane.

It's just like, I was thinking about, like, what I've been doing. last three days, and I'm like, wow, I should have somebody lift my leg once in a while. And that really puts my pain into perspective, too. I'm not like trying, but I'm just saying, like, see, another reason I should stop pitching. Like, I know. No, but that does suck. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

It's not as bad as Chris's, but yeah. He's adding dates to the tour. Yeah. You know? You know. It's not fair. Or so. No, I'm really excited because that's a huge good, that's like really good sign.

Like, we've had people in our family having strokes. And when they, when the doctor thinks that they're not going to regain any feeling in a limb and that actually happens, that's like a big sign that things are going to turn around. Yeah. So prayers for Christmas. Oh my God. But did I tell you that someone gave him boiling hot water in a cup and like wasn't thinking and this man who's paralyzed poured boiling hot water on his leg and it has like third degree. Okay, I laugh before you said burns. I laugh before he said burns.

It was, oh my God. He could sue. Who did it? McDonald's. Someone at the place he's at, I don't know. Is he out of the hospital and now in like a rehab, like a. physical rehab? Yes. Yeah, he's in a place that's doing physical therapy every day and they're kind of just watching him and stuff. Wait, but isn't that crazy? Someone just rolled up on him and

dumped boiling hot water on him? Well, he asked for warm water, but they gave him scalding hot water. Okay, can I just say, side note, not saying we predicted this, but weren't you in, back in my music days, one of my deleted music videos that I hope never gets the light of air again, but didn't, you weren't you in a wheelchair and I poured burning hot coffee on? you? Whoa, yes. Whoa.

Not saying there's a connection, I'm just saying. Dude, that's like Simpsons level shit. That's crazy, dude. That's my dad's my God. Sorry, Chris just

Airplay is the craziest thing I'm gonna say. Wait, where to go? Is that a penis? No, no, it was not. Oh my God. That's from the hospital? Yeah, from how hot the water was.

Listen, I'm not about causing drama, but he needs to sue for millions. This motherfucker better own this hospital for the next few weeks, bro. be the fucking Brett Tinger. How do you see your last? Bright Tinger.

I just call you Krispy. That needs to be the bright kinger. I guess I can't say it. That's crazy. Yeah. And then when I saw the nurse, the nurse was like, oh, you know, he's not all there. So he's not thinking. And I'm like, this is not his fault that someone gave him.

What? Wow. That is horrible. Crazy, right? Well, shout out. Let's send some ice. What do you do with that? You put cream on it?

Yeah, they're putting burn cream. I guess. Wow. God, Jared, got anything traumatic? You know, I can't beat that. Unfortunately, things are good. Oh, wow. Unfortunately, you know. Normalize no drama. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Normalize no trauma. I'm an ally.

Are you? I don't know. Isn't that my thing at one point? It's old school shit. You know, I'm an ally. Oh, my God. Speaking of old school, that actually is the perfect segue. My, things are really just flowing. that I was going to make a joke about the flowing water on that number. Sorry. I'm trying to make comedy. Coming in hot.

I'm just kidding. The humor is reached its boiling point, guys. You can't continue. What can we do for him? I mean, dude, he don't want to sue the hospital that did it. You know what I'm saying? He got to sue the hospital. Yeah, he's a nice guy.

He's going to see the humor in this. Shout out to you, Chris is dead. Yeah, what can we do for him? Can we send him something? I really don't know. I don't. I mean, we're doing everything we can. Is he single? Yeah.

Maybe some, some, like, merch, some, like, shorts. I was thinking of a prostitute, but yeah. Some merch. Maybe a prostitute wearing our merch. You know what? It sounds like he needs a better cup. Sounds like he does with a spill-proof lid. This is sick.

You're selling your cup on. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, that's a spill-proof top? It really is. Try it. Don't make me tested. Dude, that could save people's legs. Okay. Oh, no.

Dude, no, man, hey, your dad is a saint. He's saving legs, dude. He really is. That could have got on his penis. Imagine scolding hot water? That's all. I thank God he didn't hit his penis, bro. You're right.

Thank the Lord. Then he would have sued. I wrote this down because I was thinking about this earlier. I was talking to Ryland last night about, like, things that we used to do in our high school that were really cool. Everybody was, like, in on it. And then I brought one up to Rylan. He's like, I have no idea what you're talking about. So, for example, like, I have a question, like, what was something in your high school experience that the cool kids did that everybody tried to do?

But maybe it was only in your high school. Like, for me, the cool kids had a big bottle of water. They put it in the freezer overnight. And then the next morning, they put, like, a really cute sock on it. And they would bring it to school. Well, we grew up in Long Beach. And they put the sock on the water. And they would let the water bottle melt all day long.

And they would just have this freezing cold, little, like, like little gerbils all day. And all the cool kids would have it. And if you had, like, DeSani, you're trash. If you had, like, a no-name brand of water. Isn't Desani rich? No. I thought it was expensive, even though it's salty. Interesting.

I don't know. But either way, it was trash. And, like, yeah. So, Jared, we had that. We were in the same high school. You know? We didn't go to the same high school, actually. Oh, my God, you're right.

I was going to say the cool kids had sex. And, like, boyfriends and girlfriends, but, um... Different. But I don't even know what they had, you know? But I do remember what you're talking. talking about people with the socks and the sock on the water bottle and it was like ooh and then you have it on your desk all day and like the poor kids like you know would have it without the sock and it would be dripping and the cool kids would have like a really cute luxury sock it's kind of like

in earlier school days if you were poor you would use a Kleenex box for your pencil box and then if you were rich you'd actually have like a plastic box you know with the lock on it Chris did you have anything in your high school that was weird and specific my whole high school I graduated from like a very strange like seemingly anti-gay Christian school. So I don't know the whole thing. Is there like pro gay Christian schools? I don't I don't know that they're all quite this anti anti. I don't know. I would hope not. So their thing was hate crimes or maybe maybe that's what the cool kid. A cool kid came after me with a shovel. What like Sharkeisha? What was the angle? Like they were going to bop you on the head or stab you?

They threw it at the head. I think like they bought me on the head. No that was not. Sharkeisha was the girl that hit the girl in the face and then her friend goes He should know. What are you guys talking about? No, sorry. Side no, side no. Okay, so Chris, yeah, sorry. Somebody hit you with a shelf for being gay.

No, cool things, I don't know. Yeah, same thing. Okay, probably get late and stuff. I don't know. Nothing really that I can think. Really? Okay, let me give you another example because I feel like you guys are not understanding the idea. Instead of egging people's houses,

kids at my high school would throw baloney at people's cars because it made the paint strip off. I feel like that's a very specific me thing. I remember that. At our school would have like car wars. Like, I would say if your car didn't get vandalized in some way you weren't cool maloney no we would they would like fill people's cars with things or like that's so mr bees yeah quite honestly wow and i would say subwoofers too like if you had a sub like

they would have those big like 12 the you know okay i'm getting it now i'm getting it now but also like the girls were the basic things that the whole world was like the ugg boots and the jeans oh yeah ugg boots was the thing also in my school but nothing specific was it just my high school is it because we were just so sad. I just wasn't cool at all and I don't know. I don't know what the I know what wasn't cool braces. True. They didn't feel cool, but I think

at my school one thing that was like it was like a kind of pants like the big pants. Do you know what I'm saying? I don't know. You got to look up Jenko pants. It makes no sense they cover your whole shoe. Oh, I know what you're talking about. Yeah. I couldn't do it. Okay, let's get into our fun, oh my God, throwbacks. We haven't done these in so long. What do we start with?

Cheat trick or German fact? Let's do German fact because we've, so it's pretty crazy things about Chris's dad's legs. So let's make up for it. Yes. He's half German. He's so bright. He's a factual delight. Are you ready for some fun?

German facts with Chris. Inventor of the first contact lens that could be worn on eyes was German. German ophthalmologist Adolf Gaston Eugene Fick. He constructed a fitter first contact lens in 1887 while working in Zurich. and his design was based on resting contact shell on the less sensitive rim, I lost the accent of tissue around the cornea. So basically the first contact lens ever made

was made by a German guy. Thank God. I would die if contacts didn't exist today. Isn't that cool? I didn't know that. Do you remember back in the day, like when I was growing up, my mom had glass contacts. What?

They were, yes, before... Oh, new ink unlocked. Before the plastic became popularized, they were like smaller glass contacts. Like made of glass. That feels rich. Like crystal fucking lenses. Am I making this up?

Can you Google it, Chris? Not to jump in on your fact, but I learned something about Germany the other day that was insane. Why? So I got an email from Ashley and she said that she learned something trigger warning that was pretty crazy and it's called plasticination. So then I googled it. So you know those exhibits like the bodies exhibit? Yeah. Where they have like, you know, sculptures of like what your body looks like, whatever.

Aren't they like a real human body? They're fucking real people, and they get them through a process called plasticination where... Sorry, if anybody's eating, trigger warning, go to the time code and skip. This part. Okay, so that is a real person. That's real. And what they do is they go through this process where they, like, it takes, like, months, I think, where they, like, cover... Dissect?

They cover the body in plastic. They fill the bloodstream with, like, this weird plastic, and it turns it into that. And people donate their body. to this. So like any, look at this guy. Also, I did realize it makes my body hurt when my body hurts. Also, okay, that's a fucking hip-pop song. It makes my body hurt with my body hurts. Also, one thing I noticed about this was every guy who has donated their body to plastication has like a very long penis. And I almost feel like that's why they did it. Oh, yeah. Holy shit. Isn't that which part? The penis. Right, right, right. Or the skin.

Also, look at his fan. That is a shower for sure. I know, and then look at, they pose them, like, fuck. What the, is there a museum for this? Yes, it's bodies. Look at her, fucking queen shit. Look at her. And also did not know, and I'll probably have to blur this, but did not know balls were separated like that. Do you have to die?

I thought balls were in the same sack. And these balls are like three inches of park. These guys' penises are huge. That's why they wanted people to see them. That's like seven inches soft. And look at that. Like, that's all of our blood veins. Like, what the actual fuck?

Ew. I know. I never... Ew. That's a horror movie. That scared the show. That's a meme, for sure. Like, oh, my God.

Whoa. I was not ready for the jump scare. Wow. So this is the guy that made it. Gunther von Hot Huggins. Of course. Higgins. Yes.

I mean, they're probably mostly made for people to study, right? Like surgeons and... It's very interesting, yeah. And it doesn't smell. They, like, turn them into sculptures, basically. I would never. rather fucking oh my god i would i don't know what i would rather i'd rather one crazy billionaire buy my body and do something horrible with it in his house then donate my body to this

do you know i mean like i don't want that many people seeing my naked plastic body yeah my shriveled dick well i'm sure when they pump up the plastination it probably expands as much as it can you know yeah i feel like but i mean i just do they have pictures of the people pre-plastination. I kind of want to see what they look like. Pre and post. See if we can get one of the... Well, that's pretty dark.

Well, I feel like they should, right? And, well, maybe they don't want... I guess once you take somebody's skin off, you don't know who they are. Wow. Super deep. We're writing a pop song. Why are they are? Not a single grower, though.

Not a single grower in the plasticination process? Not a single. Wait, what do you mean? I didn't see it. Yeah. Oh, I thought you meant you had like a fact on the camera. I looked it up and, wow, that is crazy. So, yeah, that's plasticination.

Sorry. I hope that you weren't eating during that Okay Oh my gosh Before we go to break Jared Cheap trick Oh

He's got a pocket of change He makes a lot of sense When the price goes up He'll get it For less It's cheap tricks With Jared But yeah

So here's one So I don't know if you guys Have ever been to a Buckees By any chance Have you been to a Buckees They're known for having humongous gas stations In some parts of the country

They're more prevalent than others but I've been to one on the way to Vegas, and it has like 70 pumps. There's a dog park at a gas station, which is pretty cool. But they have a policy where you could get a refill for 99 cents, and the refill just has to be into a food safe, like drinkable container. So you could basically refill whatever you want. There's people going in there, you know, like with five gallon bottles for a dollar. So you can get five gallons of Gatorade or something for 99 cents.

Where's a Bucky? Is there Buckees nearby? I mean, it might be worth just us getting like 25 gallon buckets, you know? But for 20 bucks get like 100 gallons of Gatorade, but is the mascot a little like gopher? Yes. Yes, I've seen it. So basically anything you can refill, it's only a buck. 7-Eleven, obviously, shout out 7-Eleven always, but they also have something similar on July 11th where you can get a slurpee in anything for like a dollar.

Where people bring in buckets and just fill it up with slurpees. No way. Well, good cheap trick and good fact, you guys. Yeah. We're back, baby. All right, we're going to take a quick little break when we come back. Oh, my God, the best voicemails of all time. We'll see you in a second.

Nice. Don't go anywhere. Hey, sorry to interrupt the show, but I'm very excited because our first sponsor today is near and dear to my heart. And I'm very excited that they're back. It's Displate. So as you guys know, Displate is the one-of-a-kind metal poster that you snap right onto your wall. You can customize, collect, rearrange and we have our own displays so i'm very excited first of all i have ours right here

this is one of our designs you could see us on the corduroy couch all of our stupid faces i don't know if it's in focus but yeah this is our uh display poster and i think we have six we might have more designs uh we all have our own little poster chris has two different versions of his one for the germans one for the bears and we started getting people emailing us and showing us pictures of the displates in their room so this is from madison she said i'm so excited I got my display for the podcast and it's fucking amazing and it's high resolution and high quality I did not pay her to say that and then she sent us a couple pictures of the displays in her room which I just think is so cute look how happy she is oh my god I love her hair okay I'm getting

off topic so thank you Madison for getting the display and for send me pictures keep sending you these I love these so much and I'm just curious if any of you have more than one like how you do it like are we who's on top of each other do you know what I mean am I on the top of anybody or am I always on the bottom I have questions anyway back to display so display It has over a million different designs for so many different things. Marvel, D.C., Star Wars, Game of Thrones, Our Podcasts, like, they have a bunch of different designs. And the reason I love them the most, I've talked about this before, is because of how easy they are to put up. You don't have to put nails in your walls.

If you're renting and you don't want to, like, mess up the walls, it's so easy. You wipe down your wall with this cleaning wipe, and then you stick a protective leaf, and then the magnet, and then snap your disc plate right on the wall. It's so easy. And it's so easy to take down and move in another place of your room. I just love it. And they're eco-friendly. In every design that you buy, they plant one tree. So to get your own disc plate and to check out our podcast disc plates,

go to displate.com slash Shane Dawson. And they will give you some money off. Let me explain. So if you're buying one to two designs, they will give you 27% off. And if you're buying three or more designs, they will give you 37% off. So it's a great deal.

So go check it out. Give it a try. Use code grower at checkout. And please keep sending me pictures of these, like in your room or in your house. I showed the picture that Madison sent of it in her room and her holding it. and Chris literally cried. So thank you, Madison, for making Chris cry.

And, yeah, wow. Sorry, I'm just looking at, like, all of our teeth. Like, I'm just, like, investigating. I'm like, wow. Like, my brother's teeth are so white. Mine are definitely not as white as everybody else. You know what? It's real.

All right. Thank you, display, and enjoy the rest of the show. All right, okay, we have some very fun viewer submissions. We really need a name for this segment. Maybe the viewer should submit some ideas on what they think it should be. I love this fucking. And say, it's possibly my favorite now. I love doing that.

Really? Okay, cool. Yeah, me too. Okay, so before we get into the voicemails, let's start with a couple emails. So if you want to send us an email, Shane Dawson podcast stuff at gmail.com. Okay, this is from Ivy. She said that her boyfriend absolutely loves his grower sweatshirt

and says it's the best one he's ever worn and he wears it proudly. And he said, of course, why wouldn't I? I'm not ashamed. And here's a picture of him just, you know, vaping and getting his life. Oh. Nice, dude.

I like it in that color. It kind of looks like if me and you had a son together. Yeah. It's a handsome man. He's a very handsome man. Oh my God, for Chris to say that about somebody who's not fat is a big deal. Okay. And then we also got one from Heather Renee.

She said that she was shopping at the store. She saw something that made her giggle. It was a poster that said, you're a grower. Jeff Watts a fucking goat of growers. Hello. Shout out, Jeff Watt. He wears it proudly.

The goat. He really does. Oh, this is actually bad for Chris, actually. But I got this email from Billy, and she said she was watching this new documentary on Netflix, and it was about a murderer named Alex Murdo. Oh, yeah, that's really popular right now. Oh, okay. Well, yeah, I'm a murderer. And I guess he says a lot, hey, bud.

And she sent me a picture of that, I mean, it's a life hack, guys. I'm telling you. Hey, bud, get the fuck away. I used to say it all the time I literally thought it was a sweet thing to say Now you could be an isolated incident where it's okay

Yeah I feel like if it came from Chris I wouldn't feel as demoralized As if it's like somebody who's just trying You know I texted my friend who I was talking about Briefly on that episode of the podcast And I guess he watched it And he was like

Wait did we ever say that And he's like I went through our chat history And we say butt to each other all the time Have you guys fucked? No Or you secretly hate each other. No, I love him. He's one of my best friends.

But he was like, we were watching your pod last night and cracking up. And then his girlfriend, Michelle, was like, do you call Chris Budd? And I'm like, I don't think so. And then I typed Bud in, like, under the search and the messages and saw that I sent you multiple texts saying, bud. And so did you. And I'm like, we've both called each other, Bud. Wow. That's enough evidence for me.

Both trying to assert your dominance. No. Insert. Speaking of asserting dominance in a text message, I saw an emoji. This is very stupid. but somebody posted this on Instagram and then I saw this emoji and I don't know what this has to do with anything really nothing I guess just because we were talking about texting but look at this and tell me this doesn't change everything I'm having a hard time capturing it for more than like two seconds I know It's really like... But I'm enjoying it when I'm seeing.

Me too. This is a mind fuck. No wonder it got 68,000 likes. It kind of looked like boobs to me, if I'm being honest. Boops? A little bit. I'm going to have to look at it. I forgot you're a boob gun too.

Boy, do I love them. And you don't think women boobs are better? Oh, I was talking about women boobs. I thought we were making a joke. Oh. We were not on the same face. But you do love boobs. I love men boobs.

I don't know that I love. But I'm getting and I love women's boots. Hold on. Hold on. So you like big guys, but you don't like big titties. No, I mean, I love the whole body, but I've never, like, specifically focused on the... Wait, you've never... You don't treat his bristicles like...

Do straight guys, like, is titty fucking really a thing, or is that just, like, fantasized about? I mean, it's... Hey, it's not just for straight guys. Well, that... I've never. I didn't want to blatantly... I was thinking it kind of, you know? I'm glad, yes.

The logistics of that, though, like, are you lubing up the titties and then, like, is everyone... Can I explain it? So, okay, you know how like when you're on your knees and you're, you know, doing something? Imagine if you had boobs and then you just did that. On your knees and you're doing it. That's like the lazier way. I think I get it. Okay.

Okay, let's get into some of these voice smells. I'm going to have to watch some porn after this. I don't want to say that every time I'm watching the podcast, I'm eating because it's YouTube and y'all are always talking about cocks. So bigs and pussies. Can we think that? Man You go into every episode eating Knowing damn well

Something's gonna come up We're not the show to eat too Maybe change your eating skin Well also side note Cock makes you not hungry Or If you're saying yes I can see how that would happen

Well yes We'll try to stop We'll give you trigger warnings While you're eating Which we did today for the body's thing So I'm listening I'm listening I think every episode should just be that, though.

It's all the gross. Start with a trigger warning. He's better than us. All of a sudden, are we going to have a fight? I'm included in it. Very contrary. I'm pushing the narrative forward. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay, hey, whatever the hell is, is podcast. I'm going to try to keep it short. Okay, I'm on the topic of cuck. I've recently been into some weird shit. I don't know how to explain it, but I've been,

It's been turning me on, like, just thinking that my man can fuck someone, another girl. And, like, we have sex. And I bring it up while we're having sex. Like, yeah, you're going to be fucking some other girl on the side. And he's like, yeah, yeah, I'm going to finger her like this. And just some weird shit, but it turns me on. But I'm really jealous, like, actually jealous in real life. Oh, my God, it's so fucking embarrassing.

Bye. I love you guys. Yeah, she, yeah, seems totally normal. I love her. Can I just say, I'm so glad that, like, the cuck community has embraced us because I, I didn't count them, but I'm going to say 300 voice mails all about cucks from cucks. Well, so this woman, though, seems like they haven't explored it just yet. That's their fantasy. That's like, they're on the cusp of cuckery.

Yes. I see, and my mind can accept that. Like, we could be having, uh, but like, she said she's jealous. No, I could see, like, you know, people say things when they're having sex. Saying something is one thing. Doing it is another, like, especially with jealousy. That's like super specific. If I was having sex and was like, yeah, I'm going to be fucking another chick and doing this.

Oh, it would be a rat. Yeah. It would be, it would be done. You know what I'm saying? They wouldn't be very sexy. So I think people are just into it, you know. I can't understand it myself. I can't relate.

But I get it that they're into it, I guess. Yeah. Listen, we're not cuck shaming here. We love our cucks. And I hope that the cucks keep coming. Definitely not. And I hope with other people. I'd almost like to talk to one on the, like a seasoned cuck on the show.

Like we should call a seasoned cuck. We should. Well, we have a lot of options. Okay, next one. So in regards to your episode about cuck, that makes me second guess everything because my name is Jessica and my young nephews who cannot pronounce my name, call me Cuck. So, hey, there you go. How do they go from Jessica to Cuck?

Oh, yesa cuck Jessica Oh no Did I just give her a new nickname Jessica Jessica That's my favorite voicemail I've ever gotten

I've listened to it 75 times Cuck Like it was so loud for no reason It's abrasive I needed to get Hold on And my young nephews Who cannot pronounce my name

Call me Cuck There you go We love you Jessica shout out Well, we got, oh, let's see. Okay, let's get some advice from something not cuck related. All right.

My name is Daniel. A quick one. My girlfriend cheated on me with a man, and it kind of turned me on. Is that make me a cuck? Shit. Sorry, bye. He wasn't jealous. He was turned on.

You're more of a cuck than me. I don't know if you're like king cuck. Or if you're a seasoned cuck. Here's what I would say. But you're more of a cuck than me, you know? I was trying to find the voicemail that was not cuck related. And that one started and I was just like, okay, cheating. Okay.

And then it's just wanting to cuck. Every fucking voicemail. Every fucking one with the backcrums. Well, I hope he's like, if you're going to break up with me for this other guy, at least let me watch him fuck you before I leave. I don't doubt what? I'm not trying to cuckold. He's trying to get the dude in on a cuckold situation before the bailout.

I want to know if he told her that he's into it or are they just done or what happened like I'm curious I'm I didn't hear the ending hold on oh maybe I missed the very yeah what let me scroll listen to the ending I started laughing you know is that make me a cuck if sometimes I jerk off to it all right bye oh you didn't play that part before so he jerks off to it I mean yeah dude that's cuckish for sure okay you know shut up okay so this is actually not cuck related I swear hey all my name is Leah and I'm from Montana and I am freshly 21. I just had my bar experience, my first bar experience and it was a little wild. I had some gal grab my tits, kind of shaking her around. I was, um, shocked to say the least. But, um, my question is, what do I do in that

situation? How do I handle myself? Bye. Well, if you're uncomfortable, she's assaulting you. is so that's literally illegal yeah I mean if she didn't like it if you didn't enjoy it it's a problem right you know not not like it's all it's not illegal if you know I'm saying maybe some people are into it in Marty girl that's

kind of the whole thing right people walk around jiggle their boobs jiggly juggled them uh okay yes if it was like a malicious grab and jiggle when I would go to gay clubs in my early 20s people were jacking each other off inside of the gay clubs what the fuck are you talking about yes they want to go out if it's

consensual, I mean, West Hollywood. We could go there. It's Friday night. We could go there tonight and I'm sure like people are fucking, that's what happens. People get drunk. Go to the fucking abbey for 2 a.m. on a Saturday. I'm good. I actually, two strangers just walk

up and start like immediately blowing each other but they clearly didn't know each other in like the corner of the bar. Man, you know are wild you guys. You all are wild. So wait, at the club? At the club. You just walk in at the club and you're just jerkingy-shirt. I mean, you're just, I don't think it's on the dance floor on the dance floor people are getting jacked off

I don't think they're going to completion but they're like definitely touching each other's dicks on those dance floors it's not pants down it's like hands are in the pants while you're like dancing and making out like you're dancing sexy and you slide a hand yes yeah and you're like it's not like a fool blonde okay back to alia back to alia Hey, Alia. Love your name. Alia, yes, that's bad. If you didn't like it, you should report them.

Yeah, for sure. And just to throw out there, if this was your first time at a bar, this isn't something you should expect to happen all the time. You know, like, don't let this taint what you feel. You should be able to go have fun at bars. Maybe this is just a sign to be a little bit more aware of your environments. I don't know if this lady snuck up on you, but you are going to a place where people are congregating to drink.

Some people can't handle drinks as good as others. So just make sure that, you know, you're responsible at bars and you're aware of your environment. Never let someone put something in your drink, you know, but this is just, yeah, maybe don't go back to that bar. Find another bar that you feel safer at. Good call. Good call. Chris, you ever had somebody grab your boobs? No.

I had a wild bar experience last night, though, kind of. What? Yeah, because every gay bar, like, I've been, it's been really chill. Like, there's one in the valley that's just like, they're not just vigorously jacking each other off? No. The ones I've got, but there's all the clubs and bars are different. I feel like bars are chill. And it's just like people just chill and have been beers and stuff.

And the gay bars I've been to has just been that. It's been very, very chill, relaxed experiences. But I went to a gay bar in L.A. called Eagle. Eagle, L.A.? We, like, Googled it. I'm like, I've never been to a bear bar. Someone that loves bears. So let's find something.

And that came up. And it was like, there's a wet shorts contest. Bears otters, something. Whatever. Yeah, so you could see. I feel like most bears have wet shorts because they're sweat. Oh. I have wet shorts.

right now. Is that the contest who has the sweatiest butt? Yeah. Is that what it is? I don't think so. That's great. I like that. Why would they want wet shorts?

That's chafing. You wear white and then they pour it like with the girls' boobs but with the white. I went there and like again, I expected a chill experience maybe with some bear guys there. And I was like, oh, this will be fun. Me and my boyfriend went and we walked around and it was not that. First off, there weren't bears and like everyone, like a lot of guys had a really strong odor. And I learned that night that that's like a thing that someone. guys are attracted to was like strong odor so the bartenders would reach over and smell and like it was a lot for me to handle and I was like whoa he must have forgotten to shower or something

go to the gym on purpose before I don't know and they like smell really bad and there was also like hardcore porn on like monitors everywhere around and I was like where are we what is happening like it was so I still can't get over like can you imagine somebody blasting a cold hose that you're fucking So I went to a big girls club one time. There's big girl clubs. Oh, yeah. Big strip club? It was called bounce. Okay. I'm going.

I'm intrigued. Inside of club bounce. This is true. I'm not trying to make fun to anybody. They literally had a picnic table with Little Caesar's pizzas on it. No. That's not I caught it. They did.

That's everything. I want to go. I ate a lot of pizza. Where was it? Is it in the LA area? It was at the bottom of a hotel off of PCH. That sounded like a not real place. It's real.

So there's like, must be in Venice, right? No, it's in Long Beach. Can you look up what a big girl is called? Like, is there a bear equivalent? Is she a? The only thing I could find is VVW.

Big beautiful woman. Oh, BVW. But I haven't found like a bear equivalent. Weird. We need to make that a thing. Let us know in the comments below. If you're a big girl, what do you want to be called?

Yeah. Actually, what kind of animal do you want us to equate you to? That's fun. Women love that. Yeah, I don't even know if the gay community likes identifying inside of their,

category. I would like to be called a bear. I feel like that's fun. Would you? I'm at a point now in my life. I think because we're having a kid and because I'm getting older and I just feel like, you know, I'm ready to embrace the fact that I'm just a big, big daddy. Papa bear. How come like everyone else gets an animal and then it's just chaser? Well, that's what I'm, oh, you? Yeah. I'll give you an animal. Well, what are you chasing? A bear. There's something kind of slothy about you. Feels like an insult. But if slots were like high fit. I was going to say, I'd love to see where that goes where it's not kind of an insult. That's what I mean.

I feel like the facial hair. Every animal you give anyone, no matter their size, just feels offensive. Maybe you're a cheetah or something. That's a compliment. You should roll up on them with salmon. In the bear bars? In your mouth. It's like.

Or maybe that's what chasers are, are salmon? Because the bears go after salmon? You need salmon? Okay. I don't know. I like cheetah. A dumbfish? Well, women,

out there, let us know what animal that you identify with because I feel like you need a category, because we all have one, and you should too. We're going to take a break. And I can't wait to see what makes the edit of this episode. We'll see in a minute. Okay, I'm very excited about this next sponsor because, obviously,

we love them, Ridge Wallet. They've sponsored the show many times before. But I'm excited because I'm about to unbox a brand new Ridge Wallet that I bought with my own money. I just went to their website and I was like, okay, I've been using the burn titanium every single day since I got it. I love it so much. And I was like, well, let me, let me switch it up. Let me see what else they have. And I saw this one. So we're going to unbox this together.

And, uh, yeah, you're going to see my new wallet, my new Ridge wallet. Oh my God. Oh, I love it. Okay. I got, look at this. Wow. Yeah, no, I love this one. This one is called Basecamp Orange. And, yeah, I love it. I genuinely use this. Like, I'm not just saying this. Like, I was, so I was at Taco Bell the other day. And I whipped this thing out. My burnt titanium one. And the girl was like, my god, is that a Ridge wallet? And I was like, yes. Oh, my God. She's like, oh, watch the podcast. And I was like, yeah, she's like, you actually use it. And I was like, yes. I do. I promise. Okay, so Ridge wallet, as you guys know, I've talked about it a million times. Best wallets in the whole entire world, RFID blocking technology. Nobody can steal your identity by walking past you with a scanner thing.

Like, this has the technology to block that. It's tight. You can fit so many cards in here. I think up to 12 cards, plus room for cash. Uh, no, I can fit all my cards, my fucking COVID card thing that you need randomly sometimes like you can fit a lot and of course they have a ton of other designs they have the burnt titanium which was my favorite wallet for a long time they have a lot of really like cute designs it's they have gruelly designs too like well you know what i mean they have designs for everybody it's what i'm trying to say so this is the 10th anniversary of ridge wallet which is crazy because right now is the 15th anniversary of my youtube channel those two things do not you know connect at all so i don't know i just said that but happy 10 year anniversary ridge and to celebrate their 10th year anniversary they are giving you guys some money off so if you go to ridge.com slash grower you can save up to 40% off through march 24 so that's ridge.com slash grower to get up to 40% off i promise you won't regret it you'll love it and if you do regret it and you don't like your wallet for some crazy reason they have a 99 day return policy and they'll give you a full refund if you don't love it but you will trust i'm like excited about like putting my cards in my wallet dark this is what 35 feels like thank you

Ridge. Enjoy the rest of the show. Bye. Okay. I'm very excited. We have, now, this is a TikTok thing.

I saw it on Instagram Reels because I'm old. But this is a thing that's happening. And I can't believe this is real. So I'm not going to explain it. I just want you guys to experience it. So I've given everybody a pint of ice cream and a fruit roll up. So you take a scoop of ice cream. Okay.

Get a good scooper. Oh, they're really hard. Okay. Oh, yeah. You take the fruit roll up. ready okay you stretch it out make sure that it's fully out like a piece of paper we're making it like a taco you put the ice you what you put it in the middle you have to be fast you crazy and then i know and then you roll it up okay close all the sides i'm just eating it

no no no no no close it up like a little crunch wrap like a ravioli you wait a few seconds i'm so excited to fight into this i haven't done this yet does everybody it's like a mochi yeah everybody have their sandwich ready this is crazy the consistency it's turning Time, yeah, I'm having a hard time. Okay, we have to hurry. Okay, you're just late. You're like, ready for one. Oh, what the fuck?

Whoa. What? That is all fucking good. What? What happens? Science. Whoa. It like freezes and it turned into this like frozen.

And in the very last bites of it, it turns back into its ret- This is amazing. So this was on a TikTok or something from some lady. What were your name? Golly's Dream? This is a TikTok I can get. behind. How did you figure this out? It has like 10 million views.

I saw it on Instagram and I was like, this can't be real. This has to be a joke. Just to put it in the freezer or something. No, it happens instantly. It's like turns to glass kind of. I know. It's genius. This is incredible. That's like this is ejaculated, dude. What?

What? This is delicious. Is this the first TikTok thing we did that worked? I know. I know. 10 out of 10. could not recommend more. Wow.

I feel like Joe Biden wouldn't be trying to ban TikTok if he tried those. I'm considering getting back on. You know what I used to do with fruit roll-ups, like, or any snacky thing like that? Tell me if you did this, too. Like in school, when kids would have their fun, crazy treats, I would walk up to them and be like, I bet you that I can eat that whole fruit roll up in one bite. And then they'd be like, no, you can't. No, that's impossible.

And then I would just do it because I wanted to eat it. Okay. Did it work more than once? Yes. I did it with the luncheables. I did it with the luncheables. When a skinny kid would have a lunchebles and they're clearly not going to eat all the ham and cheese and crackers, I'd be like, okay, I bet if I made a sandwich and used all the ham and all the cheese in one sandwich, I could eat it. And they were like, no, you couldn't, and I would do it.

Wow. No talent. Oh, you know what? We actually have gushers. So, stop it. I wanted to level up. I was like, what if we made a fruit roll up sandwich and we added some gushers or some other things? Oh, my gosh, we got gusher.

This is a good night. So if you guys can see this, wrapping it all up. Oh, my God, it's happening really fast. Oh, shit. Okay, there's hair. There's hair. All right, it's a very terrible.

I'm going in. I'm going in. Okay, fine, I'll do it too. I'm scared. Oh, my gosh. The gusher's is not a good addition. Oh, my God, no, I'm not wrong. They're so hard.

It makes the gusher just like, It makes it like an ice cube. Look at us. Saving people, the headache. See how we had to fuck it up. Like, we had it going. Like, it was going good. And then we did that.

Okay, well, we're going to take a quick little break and throw all this away. And when we come back, conspiracy theories. Hey, okay, we have one more sponsor for today's episode. And I'm so excited because that sponsors me. Yes, you heard that right. I'm sponsoring the show for free. Yes, we have brand new merch for the podcast. And I also have brand new merch on my website for, like, my own

stuff. Okay, where do I start? Okay, the cup. I have been waiting for this for so long. Months ago, I was like, okay, I love shirts and I love hoodies and stuff, but like, what can I do that's a little bit different? Like, I've done the pig cups and I love those, but like I've really been getting into like my huge cup life. So this is the conspiracy club cup. And on the back, it says she and does some podcast and it has this like school thing, which is really cool. And the colors I chose, I said, okay, I want the cup to be huge. Like, I want it to fit a lot of liquid. And I also want to fit in a cup holder, which it does. And I was like, and I also want us to look like a big stick. This is very random. But big stick popsicles are my favorite color scheme

of all time. And the straw matches. Look it. We made the straw match the yellow on the actual cup. So I'm very excited. It keeps your drinks really cold and it's like metal inside. And I really love it. So yes, this is the new Shane Dawson podcast cup, which I'm very excited about. And then we have two shirts and a hoodie. This is a conspiracy zone shirt. So this is a shirt I've been wearing a lot. It has a skull on it. It's very like distressed and like looks like vintage. Also, the sleeves are short but they're long do you know what i mean so these are very like ooh they cover they go all the way to my elbows that's sad that that was one of my notes i'm like okay can you make the shirts like really soft really dark and also like have the sleeves go really long and they did all three also there's

another shirt this one is the conspiracy zone alien version it has a little UFO there's a lot of dog hair and cat hair on it don't worry yours won't have that unless you want that i don't know do you let me know and then the hoodie which this one killer merch killed this one it's so pretty so i basically was like okay I want to do like a film school, like film club type of vibe because I was never in a film club. My school didn't really have one. So they made the conspiracy club and it says the Shane Dawson podcast and it has a little movie reel with the logo inside of it. And then on the back, it has conspiracy everything. It has a spiral.

It has the TVs and it has the little Shane Dawson conspiracy club thing. Like I just love it. So that's the hoodie and the shirts and the cup. And yeah, there's a bunch of other stuff on the merch site too. But like obviously, no pressure. Don't feel pressure to buy any of this stuff. You don't have to. Who cares?

But if you do want a cup or if you want any of this, check it out. Code Grower for 10% off. Sorry, I'm rambling. It is 3 in the morning. I should go to bed. Yeah, hopefully you guys enjoy the rest of the show. And thank you for supporting the show. The fact that we have a display, the fact that, like, this cup is coming out is really cool.

The fact that it's my 15-year YouTube anniversary today is crazy. Like, all of this is very crazy. And I just feel very grateful and excited about life and my rich wallet. No, I am, though. Okay, I'm going to go. Bye. Okay. First, we're going to start off this conspiracy corner with Amanda.

Andelle effect update. Now, this one, as predicted by Ryland in the last episode, we were wrong. You were right. So, yes, in the movie, when they're going to work, they say we're off to work, we go, instead of home from work, we go. Now, somebody sent me this clip, but I haven't played it yet, so let's see if it actually is. Hi-ho, hi-ho, hi-ho, hi-ho, it's off to work we go. And there it is.

Off to work we go. I still heard home. Yeah, so that Mandela effect wasn't real Close your eyes, what do you hear? Isn't it more fun, though, when you just believe the thing even though it's wrong? It's like magic. It's the same thing as magic. They're doing something different than what they're telling you.

They're doing an illusion. Yes. I saw magic recently, and it's the same thing. You're being duped. Okay, well, speaking of, well, no, not speaking of magic. This is just stupid, but I don't want to say it's stupid because somebody sent this to me. Oh, now I feel that. Okay, it's not stupid.

You chose it to talk about Well, because I wanted to know if I'm dumb Because I don't know what these are So somebody said, okay, do you know the drink When you were a kid And they're in little barrels And they're different colors I'm gonna show you from far

Are they the things where you pull the It's like a horseshoe The thing that the top? No, those are squeezes Oh, I can't So I'm going to show you really fast Just really, really fast Do you want to talk about?

Let me see What I'm talking about? Yes, oh my gosh, yes What are these called? Fruit juices. Isn't it just a cup of fruit juice? Well, a lot of people say that they're called huggies. Is that like a Minnesota thing or something?

Can't be right. Then you guys don't know what these are either, except for you, but you don't remember what their name. Because they wrote me in and said, I thought these were called huggies. And everybody I know thought they were called huggies, but they're all wrong. They're called Little Hugs. Oh, yeah, I've never heard of these. Neither am I. Wait, can I see it now?

Can you give it something without flashing? Well, yeah, now I can show you. Now I can tell you because it says little hug on it. So I didn't want you to be like, oh, little hugs. I've never seen those in my life. The top of them. Yes. Do you remember when we used to go to the public pool and they would give us burritos?

What? I wonder, conspiracy. What was in those burritos? What do you mean? I don't know. It's just a weird thing at public pools for them to be handing out burritos to be. They were so good. I've been trying to find that same type of burrito my whole life.

and I can't find it anywhere. Could that happen today at a public pool? Just someone goes in and offers burritos? Assault. I miss cafeteria food at school. The square pizza. No, the burritos were my favorite. And those pies.

Pies? You had pies? They were the like pies in the like waxy sleep. Well, that's like the outside, you know. Dude, are we starting a restaurant called cafeteria food? Yes. That would be so. With square pizza.

Okay, this is not really theory. But actually it is. It did fuck me up for a few days. So this was for a few days. Yes, you'll know because you'll remember me bitching about this. So Maya sent this in. She said, hey, Shane, first of all, I love the podcast. Thank you, Maya.

And then she said that her and her dad were freaking out because they looked at the back of their diet mountain dew, their favorite drink. I agree. Oh, my God, you're drinking one. So, Jared. No way. Look at the ingredients and tell me what's number two on the ingredient list, which means there's a lot of it in there. Concentrated orange juice? What?

How. What? How. Are you telling me some of that sugar's natural? How? There's no sugar. It's zero calorie, zero sugar drink. So how is there orange juice, which is the most sugary juice, the most high calorie juice? So fucking good. Oh my God, Sunny D. How is that in there? Also, but zero calorie. Concentrated mean sugar? Isn't that what concentrated is? Which also means what chemicals are in that fucking soda that are so strong that cancel out the calories of orange juice? That's scary. And isn't Mountain Dew the one that makes your dick smaller? What? Allegedly. So like, what if that's the chemical? And it is true. Also, try to drink that now and don't think of orange

juice. I mean, after all that Okay. I watched an orange competition. I couldn't even catch a flavor right now but I'm trying to spit it out. Let him drink. Let him drink. That ruined it for me. It's just orange juice. It's all you taste

as orange juice. You could taste it. Yeah. It literally tastes like orange juice. You're crying. Where did the conspiracy come that it your dick small. Because yellow 5. Yeah, you don't remember that? It's a weiner shrinker, dude.

Oh, you didn't have to worry about it. You had enough room to lose. Thank you. No, when we were kids, they would say, oh, don't, when you go to talk about, oh, don't get Mountain Dew because it makes your dick small. I remember that. Wait, what? Yeah, a lot of people I know, like, wouldn't drink it because of that.

Because, like, I don't want my dick to be swam. Yes. Isn't that crazy? And, like, that it makes your sperm weak, but I drink Mountain Dew, and my sperm was strong. The doctor said. Stronger than mine, yeah. Oh, this was funny. Okay, so Apple.

Wow, these theories are horrible. They're very fruity. Okay, so Apple, you know how when you text somebody who doesn't have an iPhone, it's green? Oh, so nice. Why is it annoying? Because you can't see if it's delivered. You don't know if it went through. It's just awful.

Would you also say it's ugly? Yeah. So Apple chose the ugliest color and the ugliest hue of green specifically to make those texts ugly. And when somebody questioned it and said, why? Tim Cook, the CEO of Apple, said, just buy your mom an iPhone. Yeah, it's literally so you could pressure people into buying an iPhone. Yes. Oh, my God.

And it's like, are you sick of getting ugly texts? Just tell the person to get an iPhone. It is crazy. Like, I don't think, it never happens between friends. It's always like somebody I don't know. Right. But I think if I had a best friend that it was growing green, I'd be like, we can't be friends. Really?

They'd have to get an iPhone or I'd have to switch, and I'm not doing that. I have a friend whose phone is green, and she's, like, really embarrassed about it because she brought it up to me when I saw her in person. She's like, I know, I know my text are green. And I was like, no, it's fine. but then I thought about it. I'm like, it is annoying because I don't know, like, especially sending pictures. I'm like, do you get pictures? That's what, oh, that's the most infuriating part. They get the pictures, but the pictures are always like really terrible quality and really small when it's sent from iPhone to like Android and you don't know if it went. But if an Android

sends it to iPhone, it's fine because it's literally iPhone's the problem. And they're doing it on purpose for world domination. Is there not an app that turns all your text blue no matter what? I'm sure you could just use like a different chat app. You can use like WhatsApp, I guess. Interesting. So Apple, just doing your. more things that are horrible and none of us care because we love our phones even though they're made by children. Sorry, I'm on that, I'm on that side tip because, side tip. You're taking a hard stance on a side tip.

I am. Because the more woke people get, which listen, I get it and I want to, you know, we're all woke in our own ways. There's a lot of things that people get mad about, right? Which I totally understand. But we're all, you're all tweeting about that on your phone made by children, made by children. That's always the funniest thing to me is like everything's made in China rant.

It's like, what are you thinking of phones made? dude. And like, where do you think that they get the materials for it? What are we going to do? What are we going to do? Nothing, right? Nobody cares. We're all holding our damn phones. I know. You guys are watching this on your phones. Next time they're trying to cancel me, I'm just going to pull out your slug and we're a wook in our own waist. What I am saying, though, is it is interesting. Like, I did a whole, like, I never posted

the video, but I was doing a video about that a few years ago, remember? Because a lot of stores do that. But it goes into the same thing of like every corporation has an evil person and everything is owned by an evil person like Google and Apple they're all trying to ruin our lives so it's like at this point we're trying to make YouTube hate us except for his wallet except for display it which is how you get a snap on my wall um puppy except for coffee geek cooling me cooling me down except for seek okay this is stupid but i wanted to bring it up anyways there's a theory that the lottery was created by the government to catch time travelers. Think about it.

Kind of makes sense. They're like, how do we catch people that are time traveling? Because UFOs, a lot of people think they're time travelers, time travelers, which I agree. So they're like, how do we catch these time travelers who are going through and messing things up and causing Mandela effects? Like, how do we do this? And it's like, oh, the lottery, which is based on a number, which is, you know, once every month or whatever, and give them much money. And then you think you're like lottery winners. It's every day. How come they always die or they disappear? I mean, yeah, I know they want to disappear because they don't want people to steal their money. but also that's the perfect fucking reason to create the lottery. So it reminds it back to the future.

If you were capable of time travel, I get it. I mean, I get it. Why wouldn't you go back in time win the lottery a million and a jillion times? Well, what would say that you would. Well, that's what they're saying. The government made it so that when you win the lottery, they're like, oh, here, come get your check. No, come here. Come here.

Come here. Go get your check. It's a trap. It's a trap. It's a booby trap. Okay, this theory, I probably should have read this before I started the show because it's a little complicated. It's not as easy as the lottery was designed to get time travelers. Still don't understand. No, not at all.

Okay. I don't know how to explain this, but glitter. So there is two companies in the world that make glitter. Just two. That's it, right? Did we get in the game? I've already shook. One of them is called Glitter X.

Glitter X. It's very, very secretive. They have a building that you're not allowed inside. Nobody working there is allowed to talk about it or where it comes from. They're not allowed to talk about how they make glitter, the process of making glitter. They're not allowed to say who they sell glitter to. Like you would just think like, oh, it's like for craft stores, right? No.

When asked, one of the workers said, you would never guess who buys the most glitter from us. We'll just leave it at that. And then somebody goes, well, why can't you tell us that they're buying glitter? And they said, because they don't want anyone to know that it's glitter. Which, that started all these theories. And people were like, what the fuck does that mean? Is there glitter in toothpaste? Is that why it's so pretty?

Are you putting glitter on your teeth? Or chapstick, my theory, that chapsic makes your lips more chapped? Is there little glitters inside of it to scrape off the fucking skin? to make your lips more chatt like where is the glitter who's buying all this glitter and why do they want us to know it's glitter I did I'm like so I I don't even I don't even let me throw out some more theories some people think do cities by glitter and do they put it on their beaches on the sand to make the beaches look nicer to make it shinier is there glitter in certain foods because humans are attracted to glitter that's like the number one thing It's glitter. I hate glitter.

It gets all over the place. You would say that. But if there's glitter in something, your eyes gravitate toward it. I mean, look at me with my fucking blinkup. You're telling me this is an iconic. Yeah, so why all the secrecy? What do you think glitter is in? Something huge.

Wow. Or car paint. Car paint, for sure. Yeah, but we know that's glitter. Yeah, we know that's glitter. So who's selling them the glitter for the car paint? Also, I'm having, like, crazy deja vu. We didn't, this didn't happen yet?

Did it? I'm like, well, do you know the answer? No. But I just like, I feel like this all happened already. I've never had deja vu in my life until this moment right now. That's a good thing. That means that things are on the right track or that means you've already done this before in an alternate universe.

Wait, am I insane? Have we talked about that? No, you're scaring me. Whoa. No, I'm scared. Wake up, Chris. I did see one person, they said, oh, it's in boat paint. But it's like, yeah, but her allessened boat paint isn't like a shock.

I'm not shocked by that. I think the only one that you said that even made sense was like toothpaste. That's crazy. And for good or evil. And that would constitute a large amount. amount of glitter. If all the toothpaste has glitter in it. And you're not supposed to eat glitter. You're not supposed to get in your eyes. Like glitter is a very like toxic thing that is like scary. So they're saying one per one company buys most of it. It got to be

massive amounts of glitter. Is there any pop cultured crazy things that it might be that I could put in today's thumbnail? So is there glitter in Wednesday? So you don't know. So you don't know. Okay. Okay. Conspiracy. Uh-huh. Mariah Carey fucking knows, dude. Oh, the movie Clare. That's why she made glitter. Wow. She didn't care if it bombed.

Right. Because they actually make bombs with glitter. Okay. And she was trying to tell us that glitter is in bombs. Do you remember any of this? No, none of that. None of that. Okay, cool, cool.

All right, well, is that my last theory? Oh, we have a couple more minutes. You know what? Let's throw in this theory that I keep forgetting to bring up. You said you had a theory about Dodo birds. is that this is more or less a forewarning um it's something yeah that okay so chris do you know why the dodo bird went extinct no i don't wait the dodo birds extinct the fucking dodo airlines from animal crossing that well you don't remember back oh so that's what i know people would call you like a dodo bird because you're so stupid i know what they said so

the thing about doto birds and this is how about this it's a conspiracy to a degree it's a cautionary tale if you read between the lines a little bit okay so So dodo birds came about because they were on this island and they were pretty much the only big dog on the island. They were able to eat whatever was in the dirt and the bugs and the little rodents and stuff like that. And they were the biggest thing. So they had no predators. So they really over time developed no sense of how to protect themselves from any kind of predatory environment. So as people started discovering this land, they would bring animals with them.

So the Europeans came and they brought like hogs. And then the Spanish came. They brought something else. So the reason that dodo birds went extinct is they got so comfortable They forgot their instinct on survival And they didn't even know that something would ever kill him Because it was never in their DNA to understand that So you're saying we have to watch our backs were dodo birds

Is that what I'm saying? It sounded like it We have no more hunters and gatherers Now it's just postmates and eaters The thing is do we even know that things are a threat It's like do we know how deep the waters are till we're drowning in them Maybe not, I don't know. Oh, somebody's going to bring their hogs over and it's done. Dodo birds were very smart.

They just didn't have the capacity to realize they were under threat because it didn't exist in their reality. Oh, that is so going to be us. TikTok, phones, all this. We're the Dodo birds and these are the hogs, baby. We're like 90 seconds away on the Doomsday clock. Do you guys know what that is? What the fuck? Every year they have like a gathering of the most powerful people in the world and they set a clock for how far away we are to potentially the end of the world.

And they have a thing where you could watch from like the 70s till now, how far on that clock we've been. It's from midnight. How far are we from midnight? What? I stood before you and noted that the world had entered the realm of a two-minute warning, a period when danger is high and the margin for error is low. When is it? You said 90 seconds. So in 1970, let's say, I'm not going to be accurate.

Put like a cool, they'll be a cool visual, right? In 1970, it was like at 20 minutes, let's say. Okay. And then they have a graphic where it's. it shows over time where it's been. It's never been under, like, a few minutes. I think we might be at, like, 90 seconds or 30 seconds. But that's not really 90 seconds.

How, is it years? No. They say we're like the closest we've ever been to the end of the world. I mean, if the weather's an indicator, it's wild everywhere right now. It's like a fire warning when it's a red flag for the fire warning. Yeah, wait, why are we just here chilling? We survived. Countdown to midnight.

Live every moment likes your last. All right. Well, we're going to take a quick little break and when we come back. Oh, no, we're not. We're done. Oh, Rylent's Recap! Woo! Like camera action, Rylid's Recap is about to happen.

Rylent's Recap! On today's episode of the Shane Dawson podcast, The Boys Learn were 90 seconds until the end of the world. Ooh. Tick-tock. Hopefully we make it. Oh, Chris went to a bar where fat guys had wet dicks. That was the worst way to put that.

And why religious people hate the gays, Chris went to a gay bar that had a wet bottoms contest, plus porn on the TV. Fruit roll-ups and ice cream are the best. Oh my gosh, in the best TikTok food hack of all time run and put your ice cream inside of your fruit roll-up. Delicious, beautiful, cracky goodness.

Sugar. Enjoy. Plastination is when they fill up a body with plastic and they have big dick. The boys learn all plasticination humans have big tattas and penises. Dude, shout out to all the cuck fan. All the cuck community watching, you know? Yes.

A lot of cuck calls. As they do normally, they're watching. The boys answer a lot of cuck calls, and we realize the cuck community is large. Wait, what? Who goes cuck, cuck, c. Oh, it's on Sput. What is it? It's a smudge bomb.

It's a cacacac. Is it Mr. Crabb? Dude, Mr. Crabb, have you ever thought of the fact that he sells crabby patties? He sells his own kind? That's like having a human sell human burgers. Whoa. He's a psychopath. And crabby patties

is shaped like a crab fucking cage that they catch him in. That was major though. That's like, boom, shook, I'm shook, boom, boom, boom, boom, I'm shook. I love when we need to learn new things in the recap. Yeah. Oh, update. Snow White, Seven Dwarves did say they're going off to work.

Mandela Effect Correction, the Seven Dwarfs did say they were going off to work. Oh, hey bud is confirmed. Serial killers use it. Oh, what? Definitely by Netflix. Oh, confirmed by Netflix,

serial killers use Hey, bud. But Chris is not a serial killer. Chris might be a serial killer. You would. Like, when I think about the reenactments on the shows where it's like, he was so nice and he lit up the room and everybody loved him.

I can't imagine being on like an operating table in a weird room and I like finally get one last glimpse and it's Chris smiling at me. Oh, dude. I'm not. Wait, although that did remind me of something else that I could put in the thumbnail. Murder? No, I guess because we're putting this episode up soonish, I guess they used a clip of me in the Malaysian something documentary. Dude, yeah.

So I saw that. They didn't ask, but it's fine. I saw a bunch of people being like, Shane's in the M. F-L-L-O-C-2K. It's for one second, and I'll take it. What do you say? I say, this is crazy. We're both Netflix stars, baby.

Me on Tiger King, you on the Nukkishin P-P-P-B. Yeah, and now we can put Malaysia Flight Whatever in the thumbnail. All right. Mix the fruit roll-ups, it's a party. In question news, I have a genuine question. Are you guys clicking because they say conspiracy in the title, or should Shane try something different? Okay, I have an update. Shane tried something different once and nobody clicked it.

So I don't know to do with that. Diet Mountain Dew is orange juice. Oh, doesn't make it too. Yeah, that's crazy. In shocking news, Diet Mountain Dew is confirmed to just be orange juice. Glitter, we don't know where that is. What the fuck is glitter? Where does it come from and how is it used?

Oh, the growers out there are just, they're growing. The growers are uniting. And shop your Shane Dawson merch at shandustonmerch. It's shandustommerch. if you want to identify as a grower as well. You can also be an ally. We all are woke in our own ways. Yeah.

If you're going to drag us for doing one thing, just remember we're all woke in our own ways. Also, you won't be friends with someone who has green text messages. Oh, yeah. You're a text elitist. It's not elitist. If you're shaming people who have green text, I'm offended.

For who? As an ally. As a blue texter? As a blue who identifies as a green texter once in a while. because of my bad service at my house. Apple continues their world takeover making us all subconsciously

hate the green texters. Shane calls Rylund an elitist, but really, he's just a husband hater. Wow. Shots fired. Calling his husband an elitist, fuck off. What is this public slander day?

We're all woke in our own ways. Oh, rest in peace, Dodo birds. Rest in peace, Dodo birds. You couldn't fly, but you. you meant the world. And you know what? It was a great symbol for us to watch our fucking backs as humans. And are we the dodo birds?

Of course. That was powerful. That was. That felt like a hate comment. That was intense. Yeah, dude. Why is your mouth blue? Oh, because I ate a gusher.

Oh. I was just curious. I ate a couple just like a minute ago. It's cute, though. All right, you guys, that is all we have for this week's episode of the Shane Dalson podcast. Make sure you're following the Shane Dawson podcast on Instagram. You're subscribed on all podcast platforms and watching every time we upload on YouTube.

Make sure you're following us all individually as well. We love you a lot. We'll see you right back here in two weeks. Well, thank you so much. That was an amazing recap. I feel like this was a really good episode. I feel like I was on something, but I wasn't. Yeah, so there you guys go.

Hopefully enjoyed whatever the hell this was. Let us know the comments. Where do you think glitter comes from? And what is it really? What a great way to like. Strong Ender, dude. Yeah. Where does video come from?

I like it. All right. You guys. You guys. Bye. Thank you.