The Shane Dawson Podcast - Craziest Conspiracy Theories with Guests OUR MOMS! Our Christmas Special!

Episode Date: December 19, 2022

In this Christmas Special the guys dive deep down the chimney into the wildest Conspiracies the holidays have to offer! They also welcome some family members for a special Gift Swap using Shane’s Credit card! Throw in some Cheap Tricks and a intense RANT from Ryland and you got yourself a Merry Podcast to end the year!!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right, I'm so excited. It's so cute. He loves presents. I love presents. Vicki, make sure he does the tiny one first. Okay. I think that he's not letting me. I love Christmas. Ooh.

Oh my gosh. Wait, what is this for? Wow, this is incredible. Okay, hi, welcome to our Christmas edition of the podcast, which wouldn't be complete without some extra family members. Yay, yellow. Yeah, so we have my mom who is sitting next to Chris right now. So if you're an audio listener, check out the video so you can see her stupid sweatshirt I got. And then next to Riley, we have his mom cozied up on their website.

You're having a hot flash? My mom's waiting. having a hot flash after all of this. And look how beautiful it looks. You got to turn that up a bit. Do you guys want to tell us your process, how you did this, where you started? It was literally your mom's idea.

First off, I just helped out. I walked out here, and I was like, we need to Christmas this place up. And then I just started running around your house and grabbing everything I could. Your mom should have been a set decorator, honestly. Thank you. Yes, it looks beautiful. We love it.

And our costumes today, there's a lot going on. We weren't planning on doing a Christmas podcast, but you know what? Christmas started coming and the spirit started getting high. And then a couple advertisers said, are you doing a podcast? And I was like, let's do it. So here we are. Okay, so I'm Buddy from Elf. Does someone need a hug?

This is the hottest costume I've ever worn. It's horrible, but I love it. And I'm in the Christmas spirit. Jared. What's that stench? Stitch. It's fantastic. Yeah, you're the greatest.

I am thinking, though, how would you wipe your butt with this? Oh. This is very tricky. You get dingleberries in your fingers. Finger berries. Oh, Jerry. Merry Christmas. Chris is, okay, so I'm not going to lie.

I like, don't like this movie. It's a Christmas story, but it was one of the first costumes that came up on Amazon when I typed in Christmas costumes. So you're the kid from the Christmas story who's wearing a bun. outfit? I don't remember it. He was gifted the bunny. I YouTube this right before this. I haven't seen the movie. I'm a fraud. But he was gifted it. And then he's like, oh, I don't want to like, come on, mom.

I didn't want to wear it. But I like it. It was like a pink nightmare. I think it looks cute. And the glasses, they work really well for you. You look really good today. Thank you. You're welcome. I guess I've seen two out of the four Christmas movies here, because I don't know what that is. And I have no idea

what in the hell you get me in. That blows my mind because that's one of my all-time favorite movies. Really? Yeah, I love that movie. I have no idea what it is. Well, you're Sally from Nightmare Before Christmas, which I also have never seen. I've never seen it.

I thought you were an avatar. To be honest. I also don't think Sally had big boobs, but you really insisted on wearing fake boobs for this. There's nothing more I love than a boob plate. So any excuse I get, here I am. Wait, none of you have seen it? No. I don't think so.

Is it good? It's so good. Have you seen it? No one? Have you seen it? No. It definitely has like a Star Wars fandom behind it. Yes.

The people that are into it are very into it. Oh yeah. In high school was like two groups of people. It was people that were really, really into it and people that weren't. I wasn't the people that weren't. But you look really good. Like I did your makeup. I think it looks cute.

Your wig looks good. Billy Eilish dressed as Sally at the Hollywood Bull singing the song from the movie. And I feel like you did better. Oh, my gosh. Chris, you're going to get attacked online. I hope you're ready for what's to come. I love Billy Elish.

There is a reason why our moms are here today, and they have no idea that this is about to happen. I'm kind of springing this on them, so this is very exciting because I love surprising my parent. I thought we have to do a gift exchange because it's a Christmas special. So I thought, while we're doing the podcast, you guys are going to go on a hunt to go to a store. You can pick any store you want. It has to be one store. It could be Target or 99 cents store or by Bath & Beyond. It doesn't really matter.

I'm going to give you my credit card, and you have to get one price. present for each of us to open during the show today. No limit? Okay, here's what I'll say. First of all, so people don't get mad at us and like cancel us for doing this, I'm going to donate $500 to a fucking charity. I don't know. One of them.

So we'll do that. But yes, I would say try to keep it under 1,000 for all of us. But if you do see something that's like crazy and amazing, you're like, oh my God, Jared or Shane or Chris will love this or whatever. And it is a little expensive. That's fine. just don't go crazy crazy. I'm talking like not cars.

Like you see that perfect roly that you know. I'm going to donate 500. Don't spend more than a thousand. Well, there's four of us. It's a lot. I'm just glad that Vicki lives here and knows where to go. Yeah. Can you imagine if you just said, mom, go get in a car and go do this?

I end up over a cliff. I do feel like we need, well, you guys know us obviously. You know your, whatever this is. you know us Chris is kind of a new edition so I feel like should you do an interview with Chris to get into his head

and see maybe what the perfect Christmas present for Chris would be super gay if you see anything just get it honestly that's good advice honestly

yeah like Chris for example a question would be you know what is your favorite hobby filming my hobbies are my job that's the thing

let me ask okay yeah yeah go go okay What have you always wanted for Christmas? I mean, I love Star Wars. I think Star Wars. Okay, see. I didn't know that.

Me either. So we got Chris like Star Wars. And horror movies. Ooh. Horror movies. And he loves fat guys. I do. Love sad guys.

Loves big men. I thought prostitutes. Oh my God. If a big stripper comes in here, I would lose my mind. That better not be petting. That's a big kink in the bear community, by the way. Santa stuff. I don't know if you know.

Yeah. I did not know that. It's a big thing. It's a big thing. Okay. Yeah. And then Mama over here, do you have any questions for... Well, you know, Jared, I guess.

You don't know Jared too much. Yeah, talk to me. She knows about his privates from watching the podcast. We might be able to find something to help you. I don't know. To help him? What do I need help? So, Jared, what is something you wanted for Christmas?

Oh, copycat. I know. No, it's a good question. It is a good question. You know, I think for me, I usually, if there's something I want, I just get it and I don't want for a whole lot necessarily. So I just like whatever you think I would enjoy. You know what I'm saying? So let me ask you a question.

What do you think I'd like? What kind of vibe are you getting off of me right now? No vibe. No, I do. But I'm pretty shy. So now I'm not going to say what I think. Oh, what do you think? You're thinking about that?

Oh, Vicki, if we're giving you a hot flash? What do we got going? Well, you know we have all the pot stores here. You know, Vicki fucking gets me. Okay, do you guys think you have enough information for this mission? I'm ready. I'm ready. Are you ready, Vicki?

Bye. Let's go. Okay, have fun. Okay, bye. Bye. Good luck. Your moms are so cute. If I don't get something great, I swear to God.

Okay, we're going to take a quick little break. I'm going to pee, and I just need to touch your boobs. I just need to touch it. Come on in. Okay, good. And when we come back, our Christmas podcast special continues. See, in a second. Okay, I already forgot this at.

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description to get started for free or unlock even more features with premium. That's rocketmoney.com slash grower to get started for free. So thank you so much Rocket Money. And you guys, seriously, check it out. If you are trying to save money, you're trying to get your finances in order for this next year, it is an amazing app and I really trust it. So check it out. All right. Enjoy the rest of the show. Okay, I'm just going to point out the obvious, and no offense to your dad, Bruce, who I love. But I felt like there was some sexual tension between you and Rylans' mom. I'm just saying.

I'm definitely feeling it. Oh, my gosh. You know, it's just there's something about Vicky. I don't know if this is worse for my dad or Sandy. But no, it's like more of, it's more of like just a fantasy situation. It would never happen, you know? Right. It's just like, how do I make it less weird?

Grinch fingers aren't helping. How do I make this less weird? Okay, I have so many questions. First of all, thank you guys for coming so far during the holiday season. We're literally filming this a day after Thanksgiving. This is a lot. How was your guys this Thanksgiving? Who wanted to go first?

A little under the weather, but Sandy did her thing, made some amazing food. We watched the movie, some TV shows. And I was just like, damn, I'm thankful. Wow. You know what I'm saying? That was beautiful. Chris? Mine was really nice, too.

I had two Thanksgiving. The first Thanksgiving was with my boyfriend's family, and the second Thanksgiving was in my family. So, okay, I'm going to ask something, and I feel like I can get away with these questions since I'm just as Buddy the Elf, because he doesn't know anything. True. Question. So how is a Mexican Thanksgiving different than a Peruvian Thanksgiving? Because I feel very ignorant for thinking that they're similar. Well, Mexican and Peruvian food is completely different.

That's one way we're very different, because there's no tortillas in Peruvian food. I am so wet from how you said that. So there's a crime, though. So we don't have tacos, burritos. Like, that's what? The Peruvian food, because potatoes come from Peru, so most of our dishes have potatoes. Okay, that's it. Popozas?

Pupososos. I don't think papuces are Peruvian either, actually. Suddenly, Chris has an accent, and he's, like, turning everyone on. I know. You're, like, my favorite, like, on the Food Network when I was little, and I'd be watching, and, like, it'd be a Mexican woman. And then out of nowhere, she'd just be like, and then do this, and then grab the to me. And you're like, oh. And you're like, oh.

It's really good, Chris. Oh, thank you. But, yeah, I don't know. Previp food's really good. You guys should try it. There's a lot of, like... Are you going to make it for us? Yeah.

I mean, I can't make anything. I'm a terrible cook. But I'm sure I could bring some or find some or have a tea and make some or... Yeah. I mean, there's like French fries and meat and stuff. It's really good. All right. Cool.

Jared. I have a question. Oh, you're just going to skip right over our things. Yeah. Oh, my God. That's right. Yeah, of course that's right. We were together.

That's true. Yeah, it was nice. My brother had this is, he moved into a new house last year or this year and he hosted for the first time. His wife cooked and it was delicious. It was really fun. The whole family was there, both families. Well, like my brother's family and our family was there. And it was very fun.

Yeah, it was actually, I would say one of the best Thanksgivings ever and the food was really good. Okay, your brother's right there. Oh. As opposed to, you know, Thanksgivings where we got KFC and I think we went to Denny's we definitely did Denny's we literally would drive through uh Carl's Jr like my mom does not cook she was not interested my grandma you know like they just hungry eat need food now so yeah it was very much of drive through thanksgivings but I liked it I appreciate it yeah you know why not it's nice that you both you found

sandy who likes to cook and Shane found me whose family will cook yeah perfect um okay so I'm very excited because my two favorite segments on this show, we have ready to go. Where do we start? Should we start with the Christmas cheap trick? Or should we start with the Christmas proving fact? Oh. Rylan, you decide. What a delight. I want a cheap trick. He's got a pocket of change. He makes a lot of sense when the price goes up. He'll get it. He'll get it for less. It's cheap tricks with Jared. Okay, what is it? Is it a cheap trick?

I thought you were talking about what a dinner Okay, I'm sorry Yes, yes It's more of a complete life hack Okay In regards to Christmas So when I was younger One of my first jobs that I ever had

Was at a Christmas tree lot So I was 14 or 15 years old And at the time minimum wage is like six or seven dollars an hour But tips is how you made the most The majority of your money You know And most people don't know that you get tips

So my thing was I wanted to let people know that I did get tips. Oh, my God. And not only did I get tips, but I was very generous with my tips. So what I would do is I would basically, in this Christmas tree lot,

the way that it was set up is you would walk them through an area. And within this area, there was little trees that were set up. They had the bells and the whistles and the lights on them. And eight out of ten times when I'm walking by this tree, they would say, oh my gosh, it's so pranee. I mean, me, you know? And I'd be like, yeah, you know.

With the tips I get this week, I'm hoping I can get that for my grandma. No! That is shameless. That's shameless. I needed a car, yo. And, you know, it's Christmas. I mean, people could never be more happy than to hook people up that are trying to help people out.

But sometimes they wouldn't notice the tree, you know? So then I would just ask, oh, if they had kids, oh, what do you want for Christmas this year, you know? Oh, I want a Nintendo 64. Like, oh, yeah. With the tips I make, I'm hoping I could get my brother one of those. And no lie, nine times out of ten, it would be a $20 bill for a tip. Wow. And then they always say, oh, I hope you get your grandma that treat.

And you know, I tried to get as much of this stuff as I could. But here's where the life hat comes in before you're going to a Christmas prize. Let me just say, by the way, these tips are very grinchy. There's like a lot of manipulating, a lot of liars. I think that you can apply that tip to almost. any service job. Well, I think... Lie?

I think... Hey, they don't get paid enough. It's like a little lie and it's not like if somebody tells me that I'm choosing if I want a tip or not. Let's say we're at Starbucks. I don't think I'm caught.

Thank God Starbucks finally put the tip option on credit card. I used to feel so bad because I'm not carrying around cash with me and it's like all the other coffee shops are like, do you want to tip 58% and I'm like fine. But Starbucks finally added that.

And see, people are getting tipped at every single job that you could ever think about. And they keep uping it. Do you know what I'm saying? It's like the target register person is like, why am I tipping you? Because tips were generally created so people didn't have to pay wages and people could just thrive off of the tips. You know, like restaurants can pay people $4 an hour. What? Because the tips compensate for that. That's, I mean, it's different and then people. And then you get taxed on the tips differently. That's why it's always good life act. Tip people in cash if you're able to. You know what I'm saying? And then you could always

slide it to them like, hey, you did a great job. You know, like, here, fold up a 20 or something and hand it to it to them. Because that way they don't have to do all that with the taxes. But, yeah, if you work at Starbucks, when you turn around the iPad because you typed in a few numbers and you deserve a tip, you just say something like, oh, yeah, what do you want for Christmas this year? And they say, stop it. I want this, but yeah, I'm hoping with the tips I get from Starbucks, I can buy my brother a PS5. Okay. And if you work at a coffee shop, but don't be too friendly.

Wait, what? That is not a good hat. No, I have an axe to grind. Sometimes. You're yelling. It's because I want to yell at somebody about this. Should I turn it on your microphone? Okay, I'll just back up.

You got a bean to grind. It feels, yes. That sounds bad. It's like, that was a good one. I understand being friendly, but there's such thing as being too friendly. And it makes me want to never go to a coffee shop again, because it's like how many people are going to ask me, what do I have plan for the day? Okay. I don't like being called Hunt.

How about that? That's my thing. Hunter, sweetie. I don't like it. Let me explain. So there is a coffee shop. we go to every day called Dutch Brothers. And we go there every day.

And the only thing that makes us not want to go there is they are, I think it's in their contract. They have to say, got anything fun playing for today? Or what do you got playing for today? Any good plans for today? Like, they have to say that, right? And you encounter five employees every single time you go there. You get asked that five times.

But then sometimes the employee, like, if they're on autopilot, they ask it like five times to you. So like, for example, I'll be the employee and Jared, you're me. Okay. Okay, what would you want? Okay, coffee, great, got it. Got anything fun playing for today? Yeah.

Oh, God, I would never say, yeah. A lot of fun stuff. Oh, cool, great. Okay, and here's your thing. Okay, got it. Got anything fun plan for today or any plans later? Yeah, totally. Cool, great.

And then you pull up to the front of the thing. They hand you your drink. No, they don't hand you your drink. It's brutal. You wait for five hours while they make more conversation with them. And they're hanging out of the window asking you want fucking stickers. And, no, they're very nice. They're very nice.

But sometimes, and they've got to think I'm the biggest loser in the world because they're like doing anything today? I'm like, nothing. Because I don't want to talk You know, I've only gone there a couple of times But my angle is My cheap trick Is I just ask them a million questions

Oh, turn the table What are you got going on for today? Oh, what's that like? Well, okay So I just make them do a bunch of talking My bigger problem is the questions That are then like, what's your favorite animal? And I'm like, I just can't do this right now

Like I'm so sorry But can we just say for Because I don't want to be awkward Next time we go there We love it there It's our favorite place We love their coffee. Everything's great.

Everybody that works are so fucking nice. It is not their fault. You know what? This is our public service announcement to the Josh Brothers employees. If you guys are watching this, you do not have to ask us how our day was. If you don't have to ask us,

well, we have planned for today. All you got to do is smile and we tip big. We love you. And we're very appreciative. No. And this is straight to the top. The problem is coming from the top. And you could start off like, hey,

I want a number one, make it extra strong. I have a lot of fun shit playing for today to worry about asking me. I have a lot of fun stuff playing. My favorite colors orange. I like pandas, and I watch baseball. Just don't ask me the weird questions. I'll stop before I really dig my foot into the ground.

Chris. Save us. Give us a Christmas Peruvian fact now. Chris is cool. He's from Peru. His Peruvian facts are fun for me and you. Okay, so in Peru, the majority of Peru and Latino people in general are Catholic. They practice Catholicism.

And because of this, in Peru, they hate gay. No, no. There's actually a lot of gay people in Peru, but anyway. But Christmas, and I think a lot of people know this, because Mexicans and Latino people in general do this, but it's celebrated the night before. Christmas is celebrated December 24th, if you're a Latino person.

Not the 25th. And then what do you do on Christmas Day? Which, I mean, by then, I mean, it's, Christmas is really a day before. You hang out, you know. enjoy your gifts for whatever Christmas day. But December 24th is La Noche Buena, which is like good night. And it's the main day for the celebrations. Back in the day, it was typically after mass.

Families would go home to feast on an elaborately prepared dinner, which is still the case with my family. And you open your gifts late at night. We did that. And you guys did that too? Yes. They're part of the Latin Xx. I don't know.

Well, you're just saying. It's very opposite, because you went to school with all white people and that. I feel like it's the opposite for us. I was the only white person in most of my classes. I have just an affinity for the Latin, you know, population. Oh, my God, yes. You know? Married to a Latin X.

I'm married to a Mexican. And also, my kids will be Latin X. Oh, my God. So, well, ours. I think our egg donor is kind of Mexican. We win. Wait, also, though, we went to Catholic school. Really?

We survived. No way. Sorry, we just really took over that. I know. Keep going. I mean, it's interesting, because I remember the first time I, like, spoke to someone at my school, and they were like, what do you mean you celebrate the 24? And I was like, what do you mean you celebrate the 20 fit?

Like, I just assumed everyone did the same thing to blew my mind. But my fact is also a German fact. Not just a Peruvian fact. A double whammy. Hold on. Roll the theme song. He's half German. He's so bright.

He's a factual delight. Are you ready for some fun? German facts with Chris. In most European countries, gifts are exchanged on Christmas Eve as well, December 24th. Well, how did they do Santa? I mean, I think it's Santa nowadays. I don't know about before. There's a thing they have called Crampus, which is where they tell their kids, if you're bad,

a horned goat demon from hell is going to come kidnap you in the night and put you in a sack and beat you and take it ahead. Why am I hard? Wow, interesting. Well, those were great thanks, Chris. Thank you. I did get a good question on Instagram. I went to the Atchian Dostom podcast Instagram, and I asked what you guys want to talk about

on this Christmas special. And I'll get to a lot of these soon. But the first one is, what are some good gift ideas for men, for the men in their lives? And we're all men, kind of. So, yeah, let me think.

Half. Well, you. Jared's a man. Yeah, Jared, you're a man. What's a good gift idea for these women out there who need a gift for their man? What do men like? I don't even.

no I don't know I'm bad at this but like you know things that like a really cool pen like if somebody gave me it sounds goofy but it's like I'm just laughing thinking about like what if some girl gives her boyfriend a pen for Christmas it's like it's so sweet and he's like babe

this fucking sucks and she's like Jared told me but you know like watches are really nice uh nice slippers are always really nice slippers slippers suck me up with slippers yeah who doesn't want a slipper And then maybe like just something cool and ornamental, you know, that like carries the vibe of the guy.

Like something he could put up on a mantle or like something that a little statue figurine fountain. Oh. Actually, let me tell you what not to give your husband though really quick. Because I did get another thing on Instagram and she goes, so my husband's a grower. Do you think I should get him grower merch for Christmas or will he be offended? So before we answer that question, we have merch. We just put out grower merch, which we have two different colors. There's a tan, and there's a black, and it's really cute.

And they say grower association, because we're starting to start our association. And we also have the corduroy hoodie and the corduroy bucket hats, and they match the couch in L.A. So, yeah, check those out, shanidustammerch.com and get your grower merch today. Also, if you're a woman and you buy the grower hoodie, please send us a picture. I just want to see a woman wearing that hoodie. It's very funny to me. I don't think it's offensive at all, and I don't think it's anything, like, why wouldn't they be proud of it? It's a perfect gift for the man in your life.

I don't know if a single man's going to rock the grower shirt. I will say, I don't know if I'm allowed to say her name, but I got an email from a girl, and she said that she currently is married to a grower, and she prefers it over showers. And she said, it's fun, incredibly fun to play with. You watch it double or triple in size. It's fun to squeeze and hold in your hand when it's hard, and you squeeze it tight enough, it makes all the blood rush out, and then letting it go and watching it fatten up again. he's really satisfying.

It's like slime? Yes. Oh my God, mine is like slime. And she said, showers give her the ick and that she loves the grower merch. Wow.

Can I get a shower merch? Thank you. Fuck off. I love her. So yeah, we're going to go our dicks and watch him.

I let go and watch them fatten her. Aren't we ever coming back to our gift guide? And when we come back, I don't fucking know. See you guys in a second. Okay. Our next sponsor,

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Found out it was Displate. And then I got the email that they want to sponsor the show. So perfect timing. So Displate is a one of a kind. metal poster designed to capture your unique passions. They have a lot. Like, I went on the website.

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Oh, I just love it. So, yeah, I'm just going to snap the movie. on my wall behind me and it's really cool. I also really like it because of the metal it's not like like my other posters I have glass or plastic covering them and there's a lot of glares and reflections and it's kind of annoying. The metal there isn't really any of that actually no there's none of that. So it's not going to like get annoying to me. I'm not going to see my face in it which is a nightmare and the process of actually putting it up is very easy. You don't have to have a hammer or nails or screws or any of that. So it's also really good if you're like renting or you're not supposed to put anything up on your walls. All you do is wipe your wall with the cleaning wipe. Stick on a protective leaf, place the magnet, and then snap the display right on your wall. It's really easy, and it doesn't leave any crazy, weird holes in your walls, because I have a lot of those that I'm too lazy to cover up. It's also a really good Christmas gift, and it ships worldwide within four to five days, and it doesn't get all messed up in shipping, because whenever I bought a different poster from eBay or something, there's always a chance it's going to get ripped, or it's going to get, like, damp, folded, and weird.

This came in this, you know, nice box, and it had protection, and it's metal, so it didn't, you know, bend or they're weird. Oh, and they're eco-friendly, and every design sold, they plant one tree, which is really cool. So if you want to Displate, please check them out. I'm so grateful to them for setting me this, for sponsoring the show. If you go to Displate.com slash Shane Dawson and use code Grower, you will get percentages off on these plate. If you buy one to two designs, you get 20% off. And if you buy three or more designs, you get 30% off. So that's Displate.com slash Shane Dawson, S-H-A-W-S-O-N, and use code Grower. Yeah, they're awesome. I love them. and I can't wait to hang this up

and swap it out. Also, I kind of want to make my own displays so if you want that, let me know in the comments. Like the Jeffrey series or like the podcast promo picks or I don't know. Let me know. That could be cool. All right. Enjoy the rest of the show. I don't take this head all. I don't feel fucking old lately, yo.

Me too. I think it's like a midlife crisis. When do you know you're in it? I got to be. There's no way. What are you struggling with in the midlife? I'm not really. But if it's a crisis, there's something wrong. No, I think.

think is it going to come because there's no way I'm not halfway through my life yet what are you 35 37 no if I lived a 74 I think I'd be the oldest living male member ever in our family what the fuck really yeah are you telling me I'm going to be a widow we never know what tomorrow holds so I don't know but no I think maybe maybe we could do mid to late 70s we could rock it out maybe we could do I'm living till 100 but we also live much healthier lives than our ancestors before us. Yeah, I'm kind of scared. That really freaked me out. I didn't know that. I thought I was

going to live to like at least maybe 80. Oh, you got that. You got that. You've got that. I've got 20 years by myself. You think you're going to live to 100? Yeah, fuck yeah, I do. Yeah, you probably will. Um, okay, spoiler alert. If you have any children in the room, what is wrong with you? First of all.

Hey! I've seen babies watching our podcast and that makes me nervous, but also like, thank you guys for the support. Um, if you have any children, please cover their or make them leave the room because we're about to talk about Santa, who's very real and we love him very much, and he's amazing. Are they gone? Okay, great. Our first question that I think is a really fun one is, when did we find out that Santa Claus was not real?

What? I feel like you still would believe in Santa. That would be a very on brand for me. I don't remember the age or when, but I remember I was in the backseat of a car and, like, at my family friend, Sebastian, just out of nowhere it was like, you don't still believe in Santa, do you? and I'm like, what do you mean believe in Santa? Like, that does, I don't even understand what you're saying. He's like, well, because it's not real. And I'm like, okay.

Fuck. Like, you're crazy. That makes no sense. I will find Sebastian. My parents were in the front seat, and I was like, can you believe Sebastian's saying Santa's not real mom and dad? Can you tell them? And they were like, DeCito, we need to talk to you.

And I was like, and I literally felt sick to my stomach. And like, I was so, I was like, oh, I can never trust either of you again because you're liars. Wow. And I can't trust. a word that comes out of your mouth. And I was like, hated my parents. And it was like, it really hurt me.

Hold on. That actually made me think, is it, like, abusive to tell your kids about Santa? Because, yeah, once they find out you've been lying to them, do they not, are they not able to trust anything you ever say again? That's how I felt. That I was going to say, I think, an interesting question because none of us as of yet have kids. But what is our philosophy on Santa with our children?

Like, because I'm not going to tell my kid there's a Santa. I don't think so. Why? Because I think I'm along the lines of what you're saying Like the disillusionment Because like dude I gotta be honest I think I was like seven years older It's six years old when I stopped believing in 10

And so shout out to your parents For letting you believe until you're 10 You know But there's something magical about it You know and if you're gonna do that to your kid All I ask is that you tell them not to spoil it For the kids at school that do believe Yeah

Wait did you have it spoiled? Yeah Yeah probably I mean because I could I don't remember exactly how it happened, but I remember the last Christmas, the gifts that we got, and you got the Mighty Max,

the big old fucking dungeon. How do you remember this? I got the Huffy. Dr. Shocks, Spike, they got stolen four days fucking later. But that was the last Christmas because I kept staying up. I kept staying up and I thought,

it's so crazy because we go to sleep, and then we're just going to wake up, and it's there. And then I saw mom and dad putting this stuff out, And then they told me they do it. But, you know, the thing is, it didn't break the magic for me necessarily. It made me think, like, wow, like real people are actually doing this for me. That's even more magical than a fake thing that would do it for me.

Like, my mom and dad are doing it. I was pissed. I was just want to make sure, though, that I was still getting gifts. You don't know what I'm saying? Whether I know or not, does that make me not get gifts next year from Santa? Honestly, it's probably even better because you can hint all year what you want to your parents because they're Santa. Yeah. Wow.

You know. Um, wow, that just was really traumatic now I'm thinking about it. Yeah, I was really upset. I loved the idea of Santa so much. And then I remember the next year when I knew he wasn't real. I'd get so angry because I'd see, you know, like, you turn on the radio and it's like, oh, the weather forecast. Oh, oh, they show up in the sky. When's Santa coming? Like, they really play into it. And I remember just being like, fucking liars, fucking liar. Like, I was so mad. It really did ruin a lot for me. So I'm, I think we should tell our kid that Santa's real. And I think we should keep it going until they're like 18. I was in about fourth grade, and I was looking for wrapping paper to wrap one of my gifts for a different family member. I looked under my parents' bed, and I had seen the gifts I had asked Santa for under my parents' bed. I'll never forget it. My mom was curling her hair in her bathroom, and I marched right up in there, and I confronted that bitch. Sorry, Mom. And she admitted it to me.

Hey, hey, don't talk about Vicky like me. I'm so sorry, Mom. You're not a bitch, but I confronted her, and then she was like, you're old enough. Like, yeah, Santa's not real. and you know I took it hard but I didn't blame her I wasn't like you guys I didn't take it out on my parents I was just like I can't believe this is happening but I also kind of knew it I was probably a little too old to be still believing in Santa but I think they did a good job because they did make our Christmases magical I will give them that like never ever did I catch them acting as Santa so that's why I do want to give our kids the experience of that magic not that it can't be magical without although there is like a thing in the back of my head though that like because whenever Whenever a kid, whenever I would, like, see parents with their kids and the parents would be like, oh, I got to put the fucking, you know, Hershey's on the ground and say it's reindeer poop and I got to whatever. When I would see the kids buying it in my head, I'd be like, fucking idiot.

You know what I mean? And I never want to feel like, like, cookies for Santa? I don't want to feel that way about like our kids. Like, I don't want to be like, okay, Santa's coming tonight and then be like, fucking idiot. Yeah, like, a part of me is thinking like, hey, I think your mom, good for her for being honest, because she could have been like, yeah, I got to tell you something. I'm seeing Santa. And he asked me if he could hide the gifts underneath my bed. Whoa, that's better.

I'm just saying, you know, I expected that from Vicky. I think we come up with an age where we agree that we tell them. No, like it doesn't have to be. What about the Easter Bunny? That shit is so unbelievable. Sorry, Bunny. But that shit is so unbelievable. I can't believe I have.

And the tooth fairy. Oh, that shit is terrifying. Fucking grabbing your tooth under your pillow when you're sleeping. Ew. How did we believe all that? I don't think I ever did. I just thought like, I'm going to get money. It's all about the money for Jared

It's like, when I lose my tooth theory What I'm gonna do is buy my brother in Nintendo 64 How do you manipulate the tooth that? How do you do that? Wait, Chris, what are you gonna do when you have kids? Are you gonna tell them saying it's real? Are you gonna tell them la Girono's real? I don't know.

I really don't know. Wow, I can't with you and Jared right now. Because like, it hurt me so bad. I'm such a sensitive baby boy. I don't know. I can't imagine doing that to my kid. But also, like, there were a lot of years of fun stuff, too. My parents also went all out.

My dad really, like, tried to make me believe in Santa. Like, one day there were, like, like, boots coming from the chimney of, like, someone's prints to the chimney, stuff like that. I was like, oh, my God, I caught proof of him. He's real. Like, you know. Or did your dad just blame something on Santa? You know, if Santa hasn't yet been canceled by TikTok, I think he's fine.

He's non-problematic. Because if they have a problem with anything, they would have already canceled Santa. Yeah, I guess it is. kind of like hurt like like inappropriate for him to come into your house the middle the night and like do things should I play into like Gen Z and make like a cancel Santa campaign on TikTok to go viral and if it works it's proof that our world's trash I think TikTok proves that yeah okay well I think we have time for some Christmas conspiracies yeah okay this is kind of a conspiracy but not really it's just

theory, but it's about the Grinch. Okay, this actually made me almost cry, and I could push it and get a tear out if I wanted to. So there's a theory about Max from the Grinch, the dog. Have you heard about this? No. Okay, so you know how the Whoville dump leads to the Grinch's house? Like, they throw

things away, and then it ends up at the Grinch's house, and he's, like, covered in trash, whatever. So the theory is, you know how Max, his dog is kind of like a mess and kind of a nightmare? The theory is that he was thrown in the dump by somebody in Hoveill who didn't want him, and that's why the Grinch has him. That's definitely what happened.

That has to be what happened, and that's sad. It is so sweet and sad. That is the saddest thing I've ever heard. If that didn't make the Grinch not a Grinch, that's very thoughtful. Well, what's he going to eat the dog? I just know he could have abandoned him. I guess he needed the dog. He is abandoned.

Oh. On Crumpet Mountain, or what's it called? It was nice of the Grinch to take him in. It was. Well, the Grinch is kind of like a big dog, isn't he? Yeah, what is the Grinch? Isn't he? He's like a goofy.

Goofy Right? I think they're the same race Goofy and the Grinch How did the trash go up a mountain? Yeah, that doesn't make any sound I think it's just Who magic

Who knows? Who cares? Oh my God You know how porn has like weird subcategories of like you know Star Wars porn What? Didn't mean get you hard

But do you think they have like Google porn Or like Grinch porn? Oh for sure You want me to check it out? I mean I mean, they have it. You're watching it, Chris?

Do you know that? No, I just, when I found out, there was like, someone told me once, they were like, oh, it's incredible, they made an avatar porn, it's 3D, and I was like, what? And they were like, yeah, they make porn about movies, and I was like, hold on, and I had to look. And there was a Star Wars porn, there was an Avatar porn, there was a Grinch porn, there was like everything. Everything you can think of, there's a porn version.

Star Horrors, I think, is like the famous one. It's incredible. How the Grinch stole. My virginity? That is everything. Grinch has a huge dick. Chris's ass Okay

Wow this is interesting Okay And next topic Oh my god I'll do this later Okay This next one is not really Christmasy But I got so many emails about this

Basically there's a moment in Toy Story 3 Where Ken says something to Barbie And for some reason everybody on TikTok And everybody on the internet thinks that Ken is saying Fuck Oh fuck when he's actually just saying, oh, Barbie. I hope I didn't just ruin it now,

because now you're going to listen to it, and you're just going to hear, oh, Barbie. Did I just ruin it? Possibly. I don't know what I'm going to do in general. Okay, so let's see. I'm going to play the clip for you, and you tell me what you think Ken is saying.

Pretend like you don't already know that because I spoiled it. Okay. Okay. Oh, Barbie. That's more vintage. It's okay. All right. Go ahead.

I don't care. I heard fuck. You did? I heard Barbie too. Fuck. No way. I heard fuck. What?

Oh my God. There's not a world in which I heard fuck. There's not a world in which I heard Barbie. Everybody saying it's a new Lori Annie thing, which pissed me off. We've gotten to so many fights about this. We still get, if Shane ever brings that up again, it's like the fight has never happened. And we do it all over again. It's like the dress, the white gold versus the blue.

What did you guys? Blue and black dress. I saw white and gold. Let's do this first. I can't do this. Okay, let's play it one more time Let me see if I can even And wait, what are you saying

Is it really? Well, just listen Oh, fuck, that's more vintage. It's okay. I don't know, I can't hear Barbie in there. Yeah, at all. That time I heard fuck. It says, oh, fuck.

I only hear Barbie. When you close your eyes, it's fun. And the syllables aren't the same at all. Fuck is like, okay, hold on. Watch me while we listen, ready? Oh, fuck. Whoa, when you mouthed it, I saw it. I heard it.

Let me try it again. Is it? Are you playing two versions? Because I've heard. both distinctively Whoa, when you mouthed it That's all I hear I didn't look at you, but I heard Barbie that

I closed my eyes and I heard fuck But every other time I've heard Barbie Okay, wait, let me close my eyes down I hear barbie Wait, wait, if I mouth it me go here You mouth fuck Okay ready Oh bark

It flip flops for me It's disgusting It's criminal, it's like really distinctive Really, I only hear Barbie Wow, I thought this is one of the best ones we don't even have to fight about it i'm just happy we have a conspiracy hey what does it mean if i hear both you're a genius oh god i already knew that means you're bisexual actually when i just watch some boring um okay next one and we'll get

back to this in a second because i want to hear what our mom say about that but this is a kind of a mandela kind of not what color is the yield sign yellow yellow yellow seems right, but I, it I think it's green. Green. Why would it be green? I don't know. Okay, is it yellow? It's red. I know. I'm pissed.

In America? Everywhere, I think. That's like reserved for stop signs. That's what I thought, but yield is red. No, prove it. Show us. That's not true. You're going to make me Google this? Yes, I don't believe. I'm not just going to take your word for it. Wait, what? I'm like positive. I've seen it.

Are there some yellow ones? Wait, I've never seen a red yield sign. Me either. They're red. I know. Between Barbie and this, like, I'm done. I'm retiring. I thought it was red.

Isn't that crazy? Or yellow or green. Okay, this is another little quick Mandela effect. But Abe Lincoln, how do you remember Abe Lincoln? As a president. I mean, it looks wise, just like with the hat and with the beard. Never wore it. What?

Never wore the hat. Isn't that crazy? So, when you Google it, no hat. The only time you see him in a hat is when it's somebody playing Lincoln. Is that weird? Wait, but did he actually wear it? He had to have, right? I mean, there's also a picture, though, of him wearing AirPods, so I don't know.

Dude, my mind's blown. I know. Get it? I'm just, like, frustrated. I'm like, he wore a hat. What is he? It was too theatrical. He got his head blown off at a theater.

Yeah. Stupid. Oh, my God. Okay. Oh, this one's fun. So this is a video, and I tried to debunk this, and I literally couldn't. So you know elf on the shelf? It's like a big thing.

No, I don't understand what that is when I hear people talking about it. That's actually a thing, because again, I didn't grow up with that. But, like, yeah, you guys did that? It's a pretty new thing. I didn't do it. It was on Shark Ting. It's just a little elf that you put on the shelf. For what?

So this video, supposedly the elf moves. Now, I googled it. There are no elves on the market that do this. So I don't know how this happened, but this video, Everybody's saying this is real. So this is Carol, our Christmas elf. This is really scary. Yeah, dude, this lady's creepy, dude.

Oh. Why do people want those? That was horrifying. Okay, here's my thing. It's very weird just to, like, videotape and talk to this elf in the first place. Yeah. So, like, and the lady sounded creepy, I think it was premeditating. But does she sound like an engineer who could figure out how to make the else's eyes

move when they don't sell a movable i elf on the shelf i don't know i've been editing i haven't met a lot of weird engineers but possibly yeah yeah i don't know i mean that's it scared me but maybe it was edited or something i don't know i i am going to choose to believe in the magic of christmas i hate it and that was satan that that elf was possessed by the spirit of christmas you can't spell santa without satan why did that shake me so much. Right? Oh my god. Ew. Whoa. And the chimney is like hell. It's like fire. Oh, wait a minute. What is happening? I don't know. And the elves are like the little minions who like his little minions who like they're all in hell. Terrified. Okay. When we come back, Christmas gets

with our parents. See you soon. Okay. I'm very excited because today's sponsor is not just the last sponsor of the year, but was the very first sponsor of this podcast. And that is Buffy. So, As you know, Buffy makes award-winning betting that is as soft on you as it is on the earth. They're one of my all-time favorite brands for so many reasons. I love their products. I use their products every day, but also they have supported this show more than any other brand. I don't even know how many episodes they've sponsored, but they've sponsored a lot. They sponsored the Jeffrey series.

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I can't believe this is it. Sorry, I didn't know this is going to be the last episode of the year until I was filming this ad. And now I feel very emotional and weird. So have a good year. And I'll see you guys in 2023. Bye. Oh.

I might drink tonight. Oh, what, two capels? Dang. We got beef going on in here. Charisa's cocktail is diet Sprite and one cap full of wine and we're all like, what are you doing? Come on, girl. I like to deal with all of you guys, I need a fucking bottle. I may need more tonight.

Okay. The moms are back and... Oh, I'm sorry. Seems like there was some... Well, the elephant in the room. I've got a chest reduction. Yeah, look at this. And I've heard there was some drama while out shopping.

Oh. There was drama? What happened? Let's Trisa tell the story. I am very task-driven. Yeah. Okay. Give me a task, and it's as if I'm obsessed.

You seem like a deer who's like interviewing to Santa. Who's like, put me in the front. Give me a task. Okay, sorry. Keep going. You have to understand. Whatever job I had. I am just tasked to a point where you'll stress yourself out to a bad point.

And Vicki, Vicki is like, la-di-da-di-da-da-da-da-d-d-d-l. And she's like, just have fun, Teresa. And I'm like, Vicky, we only have 40 minutes. Teresa, let's just have fun. And Teresa's telling me on the phone, I'm like, are you guys ever coming home? And she's like, well, Balenciano go was closed. So what you're saying is the presents are not great. Yeah, that's basically what they're saying.

And they probably still spend $1,000. I think you're highly capable of getting awesome presents at Target and Walmart. I was going to say, now that I think about it, you're not really like, I don't know where I got my gift brain from. Because, like, you kind of go into a store and you're like, you asked the clerk, like, what should I get my son? Well, she's very serious. So how did you do this? I need to call my therapist right now. Right?

Like, how did you? I guess I gave you a very intense task. I was very, like, I was, I was on it for Chris. I kind of knew Jared's direction. Vicky needed to go with Rylund. You know, it was funny, as they got back and they were like, the only person we don't have something great for is Shane. And I'm like, of course, with his credit card.

Well, how much money did you guys spend? Okay, see, that's what, that's, that's, that's what confused me, hon, because... That's never good. When you ask someone, how much money it has been? That's what confused. Okay. Because you gave us a kind of a, uh, no limit.

An amount. I was no limit. Yeah. And we were at Walmart. He masturbated you. So it's like, it still adds up. It adds up. Now if we would have, like, let's say it would have been in the daytime and we would have

went to some fancy outlet stores. We would have just went bam, bam, bam, bam. Ooh, okay. Glad that was. That sounds like four bullets right. I would have known. I would have known. I would have known.

Jared likes nice watches right and I mean and you wanted that I wanted that but we were at Walmart right oh shots fired hey guys guys you could see that diamond section at Walmart there's some hot things at Walmart and Target but can I just say that I learned a lot tonight okay about what what's the lesson no I okay Vicky and I sort of we we can learn from each other right Vicki you don't know we learned anything from me because I just laughed. Humor is something. But what did you say to me about how I am and how you see that?

I just said that Shane and I had to talk the other day how I'm more of a follower and that he thinks I'm a leader. And I'm like, I'm really not. And like, Teresa is a leader. Like she knows. She's like, now listen, when we get in Target, we just got to get to the office supply section and then we have to do this. And I'm like, really?

I'm like, focus, Vicki. Focus. Have the outlets would have been open. Wherever Teresa told my mom to go, that's where they went for sure. Like, is Walmart your first idea? No, I actually met. Okay. You guys are avoiding the actual question, which is how much money?

My money did you spend? Teresa handled the credit card. Oh. She is throwing me. No, I mean, I would hand it to you and say, you do this part. So I think in our minds, we were like, how can we spend a thousand, a thousand. at Walmart Okay

I'm sorry So you did And then you went to Target After you spent a thousand I think How much mom Just spit it out No protecting anymore

Just tell us I honestly didn't look Where's the receipts Well here's the something at Target You know how I am about my rewards Right Oh my mom Collected the point

I went ballistic My mom now has $23 at Target In all fairness Here's the deal though Morgan doesn't know this But you guys all put in my phone number And you do at Target

You guys all put in my phone number And then I get the reward You guys are meant to be Morgan went to Target twice yesterday and she spent enough that there's a thing on circle if you if you spend $140 four times in a week this week then you get a $40 gift card I'm going to have to comment in a minute okay so I said to Teresa oh when they get to 140 we should stop and let them no you didn't say it to me you said it to the check guy yeah but then you were like

Vicki she comes up to me we really do not have time for that And I think you're going to slow him down. He's new and we got to get through this. We just do not have time. So you didn't get your rewards? I got one, but I didn't slow him down. I didn't stop them because, yeah. Do you guys sound like a dream team?

I'm just never going to get the answer of how much money. Call the bookkeeper. How much money? Again. Because I have to donate the same amount to the unhoused. Oh, shoot. Oh, well, we have the receipts. Well, we got receipts.

All right, start adding them up. Okay, just out of curiosity, when you will, went to the register. What happens is they scan everything and then they tell you how much you owe them. What number did they give you at Walmart? Okay, Walmart was like four thousand? No, what? Yeah, four thousand.

No, 400 and something? Wait, 400 or 400,000? Those are different numbers. 400 and then where'd we go, Vicki Target? Did we buy a 4K TV? Well, and I kept saying, we need to get something artsy for Ryan. And so. And I said Vicky at Walmart.

How much did the cashier tell you at Target? I have no idea. Mom knows, mom knows. Maybe three. So you went under budget. They're under a thousand. I think so. I have no idea.

All right, let's start opening some gifts. Okay. How are we going to do this? Should we stop the podcast and rap? No. Oh, Vicki. But I will say, before we do this, if I was able to hang out with Vicky more, because you know we're not able to see each other very much i think i would learn to try to chill

yeah because i am very very driven my mom would teach you how to drink a full glass of wine that's for sure yeah see we just get we had a really good time i do i love you bickie i think we had a really good time okay uh let's move on okay so four hours later yeah should we do Should we do Chris first? Yes, let's start with Chris. Oh, I'm nervous. Why am I nervous? I'm nervous.

I don't know what I bought you. Okay, so what? Consider this your present. What did we talk about with Chris? Star Wars. You actually did get me hard. Wow, I actually don't even like Star Wars, and I love that. How does that work?

That's an actual lifesaver? It's like a cool. Lifesaver. Oh, my God. See, I was, I knew. Okay, that's pretty good. He did say a lifesaver. That was Teresa's idea.

He did, he definitely gave him. What is that? It's a Star Wars shirt. I feel like, Chris, you already have that shirt. I don't have this one, and I will 100% away. Good. And Vicki, she thought he would really enjoy this. Oh, my God.

I love that for me for Chris. Chris, I want him a drone I want a drone. Chris, I want exterior shots of the house for the vlog. A hundred percent. You realize we could have just got four drones at Walmart cable?

No, no, we want Chris to have it because now he can shoot for us. Oh, I just think. Thank you so much. Wow. Chris, I better get exterior shots of the house. A hundred. I'm really these are really cool, but like, yeah.

If you want to check out the drone, at Chris gets put a violence vlog. Oh my gosh, I'm shook. Ooh. But the chances of you not having some of this is slim, so. Oh, okay. This is exciting. Yes.

They better live up to Chris's. He got a drone. I'm sorry. I'm seeing it, dude, I've seen a drone. I'm seeing a calendar. I'm seeing a calendar. It looks cute. Not bad, not bad.

Okay, so an Animal Crossing calendar. This is actually very cute. I love this. Thank you. Very cute. It is cute. Not a drone. like it, my mom will have it.

These are really cute little Mario, Luigi, and Yoshi. You do love figures like that. I love figures. What is he missing a norm? What? Oh! Oh, my gosh. And we had to leave one behind. No, it's okay. I like it.

It has character. He's had to struggle. She's, I'm crying. Oh, my God. Something about Shane is whenever we like a statue at a store, he always looks for the disfigured one. I do. He does. I do love for you.

Ooh, some games. We have Super Mario Odyssey and something else with Mario and some rabbits. Ooh. Those are good. Thank you. This is so disingenuine, Shane. Well, I bought this for myself. They still thought about you.

Yeah. I love it. You're like, this is shitty. This is shitty. That is not true. Show some emotion or at least fake it. In the Mara's vlog, we donated to you for Dodds. No, these are really sweet.

Those are very sweet. Oh, this is fun. This is a life-size Will Ferrell that you put in your car next to you. Actually, you were looking at those at Walmart. I actually did almost buy this at Walmart, by the day. Quas-a-league. Clause-a-league. No, those are really cute.

You know I love those presents. You know, come on. It's still feeling fake. Okay, who's that? Let's see. Wow. Okay. I might have to ship this back to California.

Right on. Is that even in the shot? You guys, check it out. My dogs would love to chase them. There's a little dead frog in there? We didn't pay for that. Cheap trick, hide the frog in the other gifts. In my gift, there would be a stolen item.

No, that's fun. to play with that. That is like an expensive toy for Riley. Jared's kind of a kid at heart and that's what made me pick that. No, this is exactly what I'm ready to bust that out tomorrow.

Wow. Are you jealous, Shane? Thank you, Shane. No, I love my calendar. And I love my armless lemmy do. This is kind of crazy. They all get elaborate tech

and Shane gets an animal crosses calendar. I'm expecting a car to roll up for Riley. Okay. I can't wait. There was a couple little items. More for Jared? Sharon.

Jared, share whatever you don't like with Shane. Beard and hair conditioners. All right. Okay. Now, before we get to the last part, Ryland, you were the toughest. And so I'm really like Shane was pretty tough. I think Shane was.

You get a candy necklace. I was vibe with the candy necklace right now. We bought a thing. couple things that Shane and Ryan share together. Let's do this. Mickey, make sure he does the tiny one first. Okay. I think that he's not letting me. I love Christmas.

Which one's the tiny one? This one? All right. That's so excited. It's so cute. He loves presents. I love presents. Ooh. Oh my gosh. Wait, what is this for? What is it for? It's a heated blanket. Wow. This is incredible because Shane does love to keep the house freezing

so I can just, you know, cuddle up on my heated throw. Wow, six heat settings. Machine washable? Amazing. That is really cool. You're actually going to, like, at least I love it. I mean, I had one forever ago. What did you get Shane?

Oh, I was going to say my calendar has... It only has... I don't think it even has 12 months. I'll share my heated blanket with you, Shane. Thank you. Okay, what's your... Oh, you got me a bra for my kids that are gone. Oh, wow, this is a nice bra.

I hope it fits those girls that you have. Okay, yeah, this is great. How many more? I can already see the next gift is one for Teresa. What is that? No, this is great, but Teresa wants one of these two. Hold it up for the camera. That's for you.

They both want this gift. She said this today. Oh, I wanted to. Yeah, she said, you know, You want to get me for Christmas. Did you, wait. He said this to you? No.

Austin and Stacy had one at Thanksgiving, and she was like, get me one of these for Christmas. Oh. So. Okay. No, I do love. And what did I tell you today, Teresa? The thing I miss about our last house is the instant hot water. Yes.

So this is actually wonderful, and I will use it a lot. Well, this is humbling. How do I do this genuine? Okay, thank you guys for spending $900 of my money. They did splurge. This one looks nice. Some of which were defected and some of which were stolen. No, that was great.

That was amazing. And we appreciate you guys for being little Santa's helpers. And where's my card? Because Valenciago opens tomorrow and you're scared chill. Yeah, the game is over now. No, these are really sweet. And anything we don't use, we will donate to toys for toys. What are you talking about?

Okay, so no, that's another thing I did keep telling Treesing. We do donate toys, yeah. I said, Shane is so sweet. Last year when we did a few gift things for videos, Shane went and donated it. Yeah, anything that we don't use, we will donate. I will keep the armless louis. That's almost like you buy your gifts of that.

Oh, Shane. Yeah. I will say. There's, there's, there's little dabbies out there for you too in the kitchen. There you go. This is really giving me a flashback to my children. Is there a pumpkin pie? Do you mean finish?

Okay. Well, thank you guys. You guys did really great. No, we're very lucky to have moms like you. We love you guys. And we're very grateful for all the presents and for your presence on today's podcast. Thanks, it was fun And we cared about the gifts

It really was a fun bit And we love the gifts Yeah, you guys don't think like I was just joking I just can't believe Chris got the first one Kind of Yeah well Chris was fucking heavy

I love my gifts Strong He started strong I was not expecting this His boyfriend shook He's like what am I gonna do Yeah he's screwed All right well we're gonna

play with our presence And when we come back It's time for a recap See in a second On my camera action Ryland's recap is about to happen Ryland's recap On today's episode of the Shane Dawson podcast

The boys get together Because some sponsors came through It's true Real talk Very grateful No the boys love celebrating holidays And to get in the spirit They brought their moms on the show

Okay A fact Oh, oh, what? I was just going to say Jared and Vicki. Jared falling in love with Rylid's mom. In scandalous news, Jared decides to hit on Rylen's mom, and I think it's going well. In a shocking twist of events, the shopping challenge turned the moms against each other. A woman loves growing.

Oh, oh, girl confirms that growing dicks are bad. Oh, this is weird. You did this with my sister. I draw the line at my mom. Dude, we're a pod committed. That was by bad. That was my bad. Yeah, yeah, that's your fault.

Okay. Oh, oh, um. Cheap tricks, uh, if you sell Christmas, if you make tips. In, um, entrepreneurial news. In entrepreneurial. In entrepreneur. Whoa, I can't say the word. Entrepreneurial.

In scammer news, Jerry came up with the, The most manipulative cheap trick of the season, which is scam people for money. Maybe what I did is I helped you fucking notice a scam happening so you can avoid being scammed. Oh. When you're buying a Christmas tree this season. You're bringing awareness to criminals like you. Or to sell them a way to make more tips. Well, the moms maxed out Shane's credit credit.

Oh. Oh. Yes. It's still unclear how much they spent. The moms will not reveal how much they spent on the holiday gift exchange. And the gifts were subpar. It's, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. They knocked it out of the park with Chris, and everything went downhill from there.

Rylum's breast reduction? In sad news. In sad news, I had to, like, Kim Kardashian reduce the size of my body. Oh. That's what she's doing, right? Oh, oh my God, I'm so stupid. What? I need to show you guys.

We're going to show you this clip. from Toy Story 3, and you tell us what you hear. Yeah. It is the best way for them not to look at it and just to hear it maybe? Yeah, just close your eyes. Okay, tell us what you hear Ken scream. Oh, fuck. It's okay.

No, the F word. You heard what I heard. Oh, my gosh. Vicki, what did you hear? Well, I heard the F word, but that's not toys. They both heard it. They both heard it. What is going on?

Why don't I hear it? Oh, fuck. That's, how did you not hear that right there? That's clearly what he said. Look at me while you're watching. Ready? It changed it when he did this. Look at me.

Oh, Barbie. That was Barbie. See, when you mouthed, I hear it. My mom and I both hear it both distinctively. You were serving. Wow. In controversial meme news, the household is split over Barbie or fuck. Weird.

It's true. Wow, that is crazy. It really. I can't believe it's weird. Working. Can I just say something to you right now? Always. Don't tell me he looks good.

That was creepy earlier today. You looked fucking great in this cost. Like your hair, dude, the little swathed, the waves that are having the front, the little... I'm sure there's a porno for you, Jared. That was the costume for you, bro. It looks amazing. Thank you.

I just hadn't seen you from this exact angle and it put it all together for me. Wow. Wow. Well, okay. You know, this has been an amazing year. one of the best of our lives and we love doing the podcast. We're so excited. Well, you guys, this has been one of the best years of our entire life.

We hope you enjoyed the Shane Dawson podcast all year long. We hope to bring it to you all next year long as well. And that's it. Nothing but growth from here. Yikes. Hopefully we'll show you our growth next year. We so appreciate your support. Thank you for watching the Shane Dawson podcast.

Follow all of us on social media. And thank you to our lovely moms for joining the episode. I figured out. out why you look creepy to me. Why? It looks like he has no eyebrows. Oh. That's it.

Boom. I need to do. And we'll see all of you next year on the Shane Dawson podcast. Oh, my God. Why that almost made me cry? Well, there you guys go. Hopefully you enjoyed whatever the hell this was. Christmas edition.

This was one of the best episodes of the year. I'm so excited. Thank you guys for being here. Thank you for having me. Thank you for having me. Wow. Dude, slapped online. And, yeah, I can't believe this year's over.

Wow, this is really sad. Okay, well, we'll see you guys next year. Make sure to follow everybody, and thank you guys for everything. We love you. Bye. Happy Christmas, New Year's, Kwanza, Hanukkah. Hand reveal. Okay, bye.

Thank you.