The Shane Dawson Podcast - DISNEYLAND CONSPIRACY THEORIES! PINKYDOLL and TASTING MCDONALDS DISCONTINUED ITEMS!!!
Episode Date: August 30, 2023In this episode Shane and the guys take a trip to Disneyland to see what secrets lie beneath! They also discuss the new wave of NPC streamers like PINKYDOLL and they decide whether these discontinued ...Mcdonald’s items are SO GOOD or not so YUM YUM. Throw in some viewer voicemails and a few conspiracy theories and you’ve got yourself a FAST TIME on the couch! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This is called NPC live streaming.
Mmm, ask you're so good.
Gang, gang, yes, yes.
What is happening?
Is she having a stroke?
She makes $5 a day doing this.
What?
She's so good.
Hey, welcome back to the Shane Dawson podcast.
We are here in a racing gear.
Whoa, keep going, keep it going.
And we're ready to smear the competition.
I got here to my left, my big old M&M boy, slap.
What is that?
I'm thinking slapping tickle.
Oh, slapping tickle.
Macaroni and cheese.
Yeah, to my right, we got, I guess we got cheese.
Hey, girls.
What?
I'm just saying hi.
I like to play, like, cool and casual, and then I'm going to, like, burn your rubber.
Oh, I see.
He likes me hit him in the rear.
And then over here, we got it.
Little Skittle.
Wait a minute.
That's good.
Yeah.
I don't know why I did this.
Well, actually, I was looking for clothes for the podcast for everybody.
And then I saw one racing jacket, which was this Cheerios one.
And I was like, oh, wait.
And then I went down the rabbit hole.
So I got us jackets.
I got us racing glasses.
I got us racing drinks.
Everybody looks really cool.
Cheers
Cheers
I've never seen racing
But here we go baby
You've never had an uncle
That was obsessed with NASCAR
No
Our dad loves it
But this is like an extremely
Fanned out way to go about it
You can't not talk like that huh
Oh I can always talk like that
No I mean
Yeah
Are we gonna wear the sunglasses
The whole time
I know
We should probably take them off
But they are my favorite part of the look
And I would say that these are very functioning
Well Chris I think you should leave yours on
Because this is a whole vibe
I don't even know this person
And I'm like kind of hard
Are you fucking kidding
That's a compliment
Don't mean to me
A weird compliment when you're married
Oh
Just because I married doesn't mean I'm blind
And Jared you look good too
That seems like something somebody would tell their wives
It's just sixies
Well I can see can I
I'm just checking them out because I can see
These are prescription
Yeah we have a lot of voicemails today
We'll get to it but a lot of people are in
relationships with gay guys
Come to find out
And we'll
Don't worry
We'll get to it ladies
Okay before we jump into the show
Well we already talked about our outfits
So we didn't even do the fashion update song
Oh no
Roll reverse
Okay here we go
Quick bit stops
So not to jump into things too fast
But when I was getting everybody's outfits
Ready earlier
You guys were eating dinner at the table
And I overheard a conversation
I wanted to bring up
So Jared you were talking about
How much money it would cost for you to suck a dick
Yeah
Didn't
feel like something that come up necessarily.
How didn't we even start talking about it?
Let me provide structural context.
So I was saying there's this whole thing
where people will be like, hey, would you suck a dick
for a billion dollars?
You've never heard like, how much would it take?
Or like, hey, man.
Hey, would you suck dick for like 500,000?
It's not like I just said it for the first time
in the existence of humans.
You know, like things like this get thrown out.
And people say,
No, just to prove the point or whatever, you know, like, because they don't want to say they took a dick.
Yeah.
I'm saying, if it was the real deal, you're showing me, P-O-F, right, proof of funds.
Okay.
Okay.
You're showing me half up front.
Oh.
And you're like, here's a billion dollars.
How long?
You know?
Do you want me to use both hands?
Do you want me to use no hands?
Do you want me to like?
combo.
I even said for a billion, for a billion dollars, I'd fucking live stream it.
What?
And it wouldn't even be, it wouldn't even be.
A billion dollars?
And I guarantee you, it wouldn't even be the weirdest thing that came out that
week on the internet.
Wow.
Like, I guarantee, that's why, another reason.
Like, who cares?
Does Sandy know about this?
I think Sandy, she might be searching.
She's searching for a billionaire that's willing to put up a billion probably, you know?
I mean, she'll be there too.
If you want her there for a billion dollars.
Hold on.
I'll be a cuck.
I'll be a cuck out, man.
I'm there.
For a billion dollars.
Wait.
How much I could do with the billion dollars and, like, help humanity and, like, my people, like, whatever, like, that would do it.
So you'd suck a dick for a billion.
So I'm saying I'm a human.
You're sucking dick for humanity.
I'm saying, I'm saying if it becomes, if it means I could become a humanitarian that could change lives, I'm sucking.
Hold on.
I need to get into the nitty gritty.
I want to know the lowest hoagot.
Okay.
First of all, I want to point out the hypocrisy.
Because a few episodes ago, or a few months ago, actually, we did the Valentine's Day episode.
I remember.
And the big question at the end was, how much money would it take for you to fuck somebody else or something or something or if,
billionaire came to you, whatever.
And you and Sandy had the cute answer where you're like,
there's not enough money in the world.
Never.
The answer is never.
Did you hear me?
Never, ever.
And then Riley was like a billion dollars.
Sign me up.
So what happened?
I'm a plot, feller.
I guess sucking dicks a little different than fucking.
It's not like...
He said he would cuck out.
How about this?
Within that competition, I forgot the exact question.
But yeah, how about, yeah, okay.
I'm a hypocrite, then I guess.
You know, if someone wants to roll up on me,
show me the money a billion dollars
I mean I'm in
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Of course.
Yeah, you said for how long.
It's not like the guy's not going to come in a week.
Yeah.
I mean, I hope, you know.
I hope it ends at some point.
I hope I'm not doing this for life.
And is it all over the face or is it through the mouth?
Yeah, it gets my brother.
That's how you draw the life?
All over the face.
I don't give a fuck.
I'm already balls deep, man.
minutes.
Come on my tit.
Honestly, though, I think that makes you even more of a heterosexual man for that answer.
The whole time I would be thinking like, I was on the beach.
For a billion dollars.
That's what most women are probably doing.
Well, no, right away, because just lay that out there, dude, like, that's amazing.
Like, I'm sad.
Right.
And it would be like, what can I do for people?
You know, like, what else can I do?
Now, is there, is there a list?
Like, so you'd suck a dick for a billion.
How much would it take for a guy to fuck you?
What am I doing this?
I put off my suckoffs because I didn't.
Are you, okay, are we talking all the cart, or are we talking an add-on to the dick-sucking?
What are you talking here?
Well, I think the billion dollars should be fucking.
Okay, so I'm in a room with two guys.
One of them is offering the B for the B.J.
The other is saying, yeah, I want to fuck you, how much.
Mark and Elon.
If it was the same day, I might be more generous.
If it was just one or the other, it's probably 10 billion.
Oh, let's get really real here, though, because like...
But then again, it's like, if I had to say 10, I'd probably take one.
But nobody's getting...
It's someone serious, you know?
Not in our life is somebody going to offer a billion dollars for a BJ.
Let's just be real.
Hey, speak for yourself.
It's a safe thing to put out there.
I know.
Let's put it out there.
I think I know.
But so, more realistically...
That's been my ultimate goal this whole time.
A million dollars.
Like, all cash in hand, the checks ready to hand to you.
No.
Probably not
Probably not
You sure about that?
Probably not at all
Probably not because
If Shane wasn't offended by it
I could eat a pussy for a million dollars
Oh that would be fine
Because it's not I don't feel like I'm cheating on him
Because it's not something I'm enjoying
But if somebody has a million dollar check for me
I am in that person
I'd for sure like give a quick
You know old fashion for a mill
You know quick
Pappapap you know like a little
handle but I don't know that's 100,000 tops I'm not putting a menu out of what I'm going to do
well I am on my end anyways oh another thing I walked into so uh the other most offensive thing
I heard today was Rylan said that McDonald's fries are gross I didn't say they're gross
I said I'm not going out of my way to get McDonald's fries I love a lot of things at McDonald's
I love their chicken nuggets I said they're my they're not even close to my top favorite fast food
How, they're the best fry in the world.
Too thin, too salty.
Don't love them that much.
Stop talking about yourself like that.
Okay, so what fries do you put ahead of McDonald's?
Yeah.
I guess I'm maybe not that much of a fry guy.
What?
You're critiquing them.
I'm just saying, I'm not going to McDonald's for the fries.
Shane said, I have an extra McDonald's fries, and I said, I'm good, thank you.
Well, you said there's thin and too salty.
So who has fatter-less salty fries that you like?
And I know people are going to gasp.
But I like in and out fries.
They're like spongy and weird.
The thinness fries.
Okay.
So it's not about the thin.
Those are fucking potato peels.
But you're like, here's where I become a hypocrite.
Chick-fil-A's fries are very salty, but I fucking love them.
Not in front of our gay.
Whatever.
You didn't leave my.
I'm talking about Chick-fil-A.
This is how much I love Chris.
Actually, let me make sure I'm not lying before I say this.
I was making a thumbnail and I was putting Chick-fil-A fries in the thumbnail.
And it was next to Chris's face.
And I was like, you know what?
I'm going to move it away from Chris.
his face because he might get offended.
That's so nice of you.
I don't know if I actually did that, though.
I might have still did it.
You thought about it, man.
I'll look, I'll look.
But yeah, see, we're here for you.
We're protesting.
Appreciate you.
Chris, how much would it take for you to suck a pussy?
What?
That was what it take for you to suck the fart out of a pussy.
Yeah.
Not much.
Really?
I'm very broke.
50 Gs.
50 Gs.
Are you doing it?
Done.
Wow.
Ladies.
That's reasonable.
Wait.
How low can you go?
$5,000.
I mean, $20,000 even sounds reasonable to me.
$20,000?
Like, honestly, I would like to,
honestly, I would like to be able to purchase myself
some sort of, like, red camera,
which is, you know, 50,000 would cover it.
Wow, I'm cheaper than Chris.
So, ladies out there, or wait, is this, like, illegal?
Is this my constitution?
How about this?
What are your thoughts on Chris being willing to do this for $50,000?
Just let us know your thoughts.
It's like with prostitutes.
I don't know why I know.
but escorts, on Craigslist, sorry, sex workers, on Craigslist, they can't say like, you know, $5 for a B-D.
That's really cheap.
I don't think anyone thinks that's legal.
They say roses up there.
Yes, shit.
I never did that.
They say 12 roses or a dozen roses, 100 roses.
That reminds me of Axel Rose, the guy from, what is the band?
I can't even think about it.
Guns and roses.
Yeah.
Axel Rose is just one of those, like, different spellings of,
I think it's oral sex.
What?
That's what it is.
What?
It's like one of those rearranged the letters and you could spell oral sex with it.
Axel Rose.
No fucking way.
Yeah.
Bap, bum.
All right.
Slash coming in hard today.
So, yeah, ladies, don't let me know.
But maybe do let me know if you have 20,000 roses for Chris to eat your pussy.
$50,000.
Sorry.
Okay, well, moving on.
I have a segment that I brought back because of popular demand.
Now, I was ready to let this go.
I thought we had already figured this out.
We are not psychopaths, but unfortunately, you guys wanted more.
So I found more.
Oh, I love these.
Okay, so here we go.
Are you ready?
Everybody close your ass.
After a long and horrible day of emotional abuse and annoyances,
a man decides that enough is enough, and he's going to kill his boss.
He goes to the store, and he has to decide between buying a $5 knife and a $50 knife.
Why did the man buy the $5 knife?
Because he's cheap.
Interesting.
Why would he buy the cheaper $5 knife?
Oh, maybe he doesn't think $50 a lot.
He says, his boss isn't worth $50.
He's going to use the other $45.
Okay, moving on.
Probably because you could use that's a little amount,
you can just pay cash real quick.
Okay, am I a psychopath?
I got this instantly.
No, you didn't.
Give me a hint.
I got it instantly, but I think it's because I've heard it before,
and also I watch so many horror movies.
I got it instantly.
All right, give us a hint.
Okay.
No, a hint.
Well, you're not a psycho, so what's a point?
How do you know?
I'm hiding.
Okay.
I'm a psycho hiding.
Okay.
I'll give you guys a hint.
I can't give you a hint because it gives it away.
Okay, tell us.
Okay.
Several people have said that it's about leaving a small paper trail of money behind.
Not true.
The psychopath bought the $5 knife because it was likely lower quality and dull, making the murder more painful and slow.
And I instantly, when I read this, I was like,
Oh, to make it hurt more, because, like, the knife would be shitty.
What does that mean?
I know I'm not a psychopath.
I'm taking my kids, and we're going.
Let me know in the comments.
Did you guys get it right away?
No, they didn't.
You got that immediately?
Instantly.
Shut up.
And I've got all the other ones wrong.
This one, boom, right away.
But I think it's because I've heard it before or because I think about, well, I don't think about murdering.
Oh, wait.
Oh, God.
Okay, anyways.
Okay, here we go.
A runaway trolley is about to run over and kill five people and you're standing on a bridge next to a large stranger.
Your body is too light to stop the train.
But if you push the big stranger onto the tracks, killing him, you'll save five people.
Would you push the man?
This is awful.
Is there no other option to get the other people safe?
I don't know. Would you push the man?
Save five people. Push one big man.
Not me.
Well then it makes it your conscience, whereas if the train hits the other people,
It's the other five people, it's like, well, I didn't do it.
Also, how would you know that the man's going to stop it?
Guys, yes or no?
Are you pushing this motherfucker on the tracks?
No, because then it makes it my problem, and I have nightmares about killing that man.
What about you?
Chris?
I don't know.
I think I'd feel bad about it.
Selfishly, I'm saying no.
Wow, okay.
So, Jared, did you answer?
I wouldn't do it.
You wouldn't do it.
Well, it says, if you said you would push the large man onto the tracks to save people and kill him, that makes you a psychopath.
This is because you committed murder, even if you thought.
It was justified because the action would save more people.
Now, this question is actually something, I don't know if this is confirmed.
I read this in an article, that they ask police officers.
It's like a question that they ask in certain professions, because if you say yes, that you would push the big man, that shows that you might be a psychopath and that you might not fully be thinking about everybody.
What the trolley problem examines is whether moral decisions are simply about outcomes or about the manner in which you achieve them.
Wait, what was your answer to the question?
Brum, get out of it, partner.
No, I would not push it.
the big man because first of all
I could be that big man
I mean I don't know enough about
the situation like why are these five people
on train tracks? I mean
for the world does it make more sense
to kill one person instead of five
yes but it is a little more
so maybe a psychopath is a better
leader or person in position
than me because I'm selfishly
being like I'm going to have to take on the weight
of that I wasn't even thinking about doing this but I want to
ask a question now this isn't even a psychoan
well it kind of is
if there was a button right here in the middle of the room
and if you pressed the button
this is actually a plot of the movie from a long time ago
you press the button
some random person in the world dies right
you don't see it you don't hear about it they just die
but you get a billion dollars
Chris
a billion dollars
I mean this is a little more than 50,000
I mean that wasn't a yes
but it could be anybody could be a prisoner
who murdered a bunch of people or it could be a sad woman
It could be like your mother.
No, I'm not doing it.
As a student of body language, I would say your immediate reaction was a yes.
I know me too.
When you said a butt.
I saw that.
No, the billion, I'm not going to lie.
Of course, I'm tempted by a billion in almost any situation.
But the moment I think about there's a 1% chance of my mother dying, I'm out.
It's not your mom then.
Well, I know, but it's somebody.
But think about the funeral you could throw her, dude.
I go.
The funeral.
You can get a fucking Deltzing.
You could have it on Mars, bro.
You can shipper up the fucking Mars and be like,
Oh, my God. Mom, you're the first one on Mars.
Live stream on threads.
I'm just kidding.
I love you, Chris's mom.
I don't want no harm.
She's an angel.
Literally, she could be for a billion dollars.
No, that was hard.
That was weird.
And I didn't need to say that.
Wow.
That was weird.
That was good.
It was good.
Okay, well, wait, did you answer?
Well, no, I'm just thinking this makes like eating pussy sound real nice for a million dollars.
Instead of, like, killing someone.
I don't think anyone else answered.
No, I would definitely not.
I can't.
No, you can't.
The karma of that?
You would get a billion dollars and then you'd lose it.
You'd lose it.
You'd, you didn't float.
If you could guarantee me, it's one of these fucking people that's like animal abusing, you know?
Like, if you could guarantee me, we can't.
We could negotiate, but yeah, I can never do it randomly.
Okay.
All right.
Fun.
Fun question.
You guys answer in the comments below.
Hey, kids, do you need some cool new threads to go back to school in?
Well, don't worry because Daddy Dawson got the hookup.
Oh my god.
Yes, as you guys can see, I'm wearing our brand new merch.
I haven't been this excited about merch in like years, probably like four years.
Because the vibe of this merch is 90s, early 2000s, saved by the bell, summertime.
Wishing you were the cool kid but embracing that you're the weird kid vibes.
Okay, so I'm going to show some pictures while I show the items because we just did a photo shoot in the backyard and it was horrible.
Okay, for example, there's a picture of this shirt.
I wanted to show the back of it and I was like, okay, what if I'm like passed out on the yard?
Like, drank too much last night, and then you can see the back of the shirt.
So Rylan took a picture of it, and I looked like a beached whale.
A dead mantidy.
But we also have this hat, which I've never worn a hat backwards in my life, but I'm embracing this new meme.
Obviously, on the front of it, we have a little conspiracy club, which is our new, like, conspiracy club logo.
And then, because I know us thick girls still love to wear hoodies in the summer, we have a zip-up hoodie.
And this also has the same conspiracy club logo and it has conspiracy club going down the side.
And then on the back, it has the logo really big.
And if you want to pair this hoodie with something else, we also have these conspiracy club shorts.
These shorts are so cute.
I've been wearing them every day since I got them.
I live in sweatshorts.
Like, that's literally all I wear.
And we used to have the pig sweat shorts.
And I was like, I want new ones.
Because it's a lot easier to talk about merch when it's something I wear 24 hours a day.
And then for my bold girlies, we have hot pink.
Which, honestly, I wore this the other day, and I didn't hate it.
Like, I was nervous about pink.
I was like, okay, listen, I don't think I could pull that off.
But I love it.
Like, I think I'm going to wear pink.
I know.
So, yeah, hopefully you guys like the merch.
I love it.
I'm so excited about it.
All right, I'm going to go flip this hat forward and never do this again.
And I hope you guys enjoy the rest of the episode.
Bye.
So I got a bunch of emails about this app called Remini.
Now, have you heard about this?
Mm-mmy.
Remini is an app.
It's AI.
I know we shouldn't be doing AI, but it's fun.
And you, you know, you.
You submit like 10 pictures of yourself, and then it can create pictures of you in any scenario, any age.
It can do a lot of crazy shit with you and look very real.
So I took pictures of all of us, and I put it in the system, and I have all of our remedies.
So let's start.
Okay, we'll just start with me just so I can show you what this thing can do.
So first, I asked for myself to be turned into a sexy gay pirate.
Wow.
Wow.
Pretty good. Definitely way more attractive than me.
Maybe you should be this for Halloween.
I'm into it.
I'm not going to look like this.
Look at that body.
You would look like that.
Are you serious?
Okay, that kind of looks like me.
That one will be.
They do look like you.
They all have your liking.
I mean, thank you.
Yeah.
Then the next thing I did was I wanted to do what my child would look like.
Culture evolves at the speed of light.
Just like your financial needs.
When it comes to your money, credit karma keeps you in the no and ahead of the game.
You can count on credit karma to keep.
up with your financial needs as they evolve.
We'll help you monitor your progress and give personalized recommendations so you can make
strides towards your goals and find your way to money.
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Karma you can count on.
So then I put my pictures in and supposedly that's my kid.
That's so cute.
So that was me as a kid.
And then this is me as, you know, just a gym rap.
Did you type in like Shane Dawson, X-Sense?
No, I didn't. Look at the bulge. His three balls. If you zoom it, it's very weird.
Okay, so that's just showing what the app can do. Oh, this is me as a, this is me as like a motivational Instagram money guy, where I'm like talking about like, you honestly look like you're on million dollar listing. It's crazy because I see you with a six-pack and I'm like he looks better in person.
Look at that. That looks like me. Doesn't that look like me? Yeah. Yeah. That one looks like your face on that picture. Yeah. Okay. Also this one. They're really bad.
with babies look at the toes oh my god the baby has 500 toes wow but it is cute though
so then for rylan uh first i did um like medieval night if you look so good and i look like
shit i'm gonna be oh you look good pretty good that's cool look at him fucking fighting the world
i don't like me oh wow you're very badass he wouldn't suck a dick for 10 billion dollars
he has 10 billion he would just murder somebody he would fucking murder a dick he'd press that button
These are terrifying, yeah.
This is like...
Now, don't worry, if you've ever wanted to see
what Rylan would look like
if he had a real job,
I have him...
Well, you know, like a real job.
I have him at a construction site.
He still looks gay as fuck.
Oh, him and it's a basketball player.
Oh, wow.
That one's pretty cool.
Wow.
Yeah, look at you.
And he's an athlete.
Dude, you look great.
Thanks.
Wow.
I know.
Isn't this depressing?
If only.
But you look better in real.
Wow.
Wow.
I know.
Yeah, this is it different when you fat.
This sent me down a dark spiral.
This is like a catfishers dream.
Is this what I saw?
Oh.
You could probably make an only fans
just with these images if you were like...
I did see somebody had made like an Instagram badge.
No, no, no, I'm saying, but if you put like...
An Instagram girl.
Girl with huge boobs or whatever and you just...
It probably looks pretty real.
I think that's already.
starting. Well, speaking of only fans, Jared, we have your alter ego. This
motherfucker is good. Oh, wow. It's the camo shorts.
Dude, no lie. Wow. One of, one of my goals in life is to just be able to wear a tank top
and like look good, you know? No. Okay. Because I'm the kind of douchey, bro. Yeah,
I know. That's your goal and that's who you want to be, an asshole? This is making me feel
better by not ever achieving it in my life.
You look like you just won big brother.
You literally young.
Is that a two-headed baby?
Oh, shit.
That's us today.
What?
That's us.
Oh, yeah.
That's Jared is an ounce car driver.
Wow.
Look at him.
You got some big feet.
That one is very real.
This is really scary.
You're right.
This is a catfisher's dream.
Yeah.
You get all.
I mean, I'm about to start my Instagram with these photos.
Chris.
Yes.
don't worry we didn't forget about you here is our oh oh my god i wish that looks insane
wow that looks inside your shoulders are nuts you look like a turkey like it's making me hungry
you're so greasy wow oh my god wow this is making me hit myself more than i know this is a
not fun game i'm really depressed i wish you look like a big pack of hot dogs
Oh, my God.
Do you think there will ever be a need for underwear models ever again?
No.
Right?
That's a good question.
Wow.
Also, I put Chris with a baby, and it made Chris with a cat.
What?
I don't know.
Why?
I don't know what it means.
Why does the cat look like a grimmling?
Why is the only one that doesn't have a baby?
No, don't worry.
I got you some.
It took me if you try.
And your fingers connect.
Yeah.
Oh, and then it gave me Chris with another criss.
Just leaning in.
Ew.
Really scary.
Horrible.
But see, there's a baby.
It does have five noses.
I want to be a dad.
But it's really cute.
Oh, my God.
Oh, that looks like cute.
That's cute.
Wow.
That's a little scary.
It looks like you just waxed the baby's eyebrows.
I feel like they aged you.
Look at little Chris.
Dude, he's such a little businessman, dude.
Look at him.
He looks like a little psychopath.
He's like, yeah, I got an offer for you.
There's a button over there.
You want to find it's it?
Yeah, I see a lot of Chris in the baby pictures.
Wow.
Oh, and then for some reason, I don't know why I did this,
but I made Chris a chef.
Oh, I guess, yeah, you could cook for your men.
Your man.
Your men?
So Chris is a chef.
Wow.
Oh, that one's really good.
That one's like you have a food network show.
Oh, Jared.
Chris is with Jared at that weird barbecue.
Hey, we're on a big brother team.
This is how I dressed in high school.
This is like how, this is me in high school.
Wow, this is not the body.
But like camo shorts in the tank, that was me in high school.
Well, that was a fun game, very depressing.
and I'm not going to lie, after I looked at my six-pack pictures, I got really depressed, and I didn't eat.
Maybe this isn't a fun game.
Peruvian fact!
Yes.
What a transition.
Chris is cool.
He's from Peru.
His Peruvian facts are fun for me and you.
In Peru, there's a festival that I think is really interesting.
And just really quick backstory for more than 5,000 years, cute little guinea pigs have been the center of many cultural activities for Peruvian community.
and indigenous tribes.
Today, this tiny animal has a special day
on the list of national holidays in Peru.
On the second Friday of October,
the country celebrates national guinea pig day.
They don't eat them.
There are local festivals,
many villages and cities across the country
commemorate guinea pigs.
Each celebration includes a beauty contest
where the most well-dressed
and the biggest rodents are chosen
and there's like dressed as little miners
or queens or dancers
and it's like really cute.
And typically, most of the festivals
and with a reception where the main ingredient is guinea pig.
They eating guinea pig.
How in the hell?
I knew it was going to that because I know that there are cultures that eat guinea pig.
I didn't mean to judge.
My face that whole time was like vomit.
And then I remember we had a guinea pig.
Zeeke.
Oh, do you remember?
The pictures are really cute.
Well, something happened to Zeeke?
Yeah.
What happened to Zique?
All of his skin fell off.
What?
Okay, it was really traumatic.
It must have been so traumatic I forgot because I remember.
Well, I remember how the chinchilla died.
Blew up.
What?
What?
Yeah.
You took it to the vet and they're like.
You could have told me this before I decided to have kids with you?
They're like, well, because my mom would let it just run around in the bathroom, I guess, you know, why not?
Chinchillas have to jump.
Yeah.
They got to get active and it chewed on a wire and just, poof.
It was horrible.
That was traumatic.
And that was very close after Zeke.
So Zeke, I went out to pet Zeke and there was blood on my fingers and I was like,
mom and she came out we took him to the vet and yeah they said his skin was
falling it's it's not funny his skin was falling off his little bon oh my god so then they put him
to sleep and they were like we've never put his a guinea pig to sleep before but like we'll do it
because this is so fucked so yeah he was put to sleep they're like ship him to Peru
they'll put him in a little costume how can you celebrate something and then turn around and
eat it so I didn't know about the festival part I knew that
guinea pig is like a delicacy in peru like typically cooked with like a peanut sauce it's called
coo and my mom told me about this and she said when she came to america she saw that like
americans had him as pets she was like what she was very confused wow well that was fun
thank you that brought up a lot of things okay let's get to some emails this one is from
oh if you want to send an email to the show shane dawson podcast off at gmail.com and if you want
chris to eat your pussy for $50,000 just kidding don't do it uh this
This next one is from Josh.
Josh says that him and his wife are big fans of the podcast.
And he got some spiraling and conspiracy merch.
And he said he's a grower.
This is my guy.
Why didn't he get grower merch?
This the dude.
Maybe he's not ready.
Right.
Okay.
He'll come out when he's ready.
Thank you for supporting the merch.
That's very nice.
We love you.
And this is Men's Day here on the podcast.
We also have James and James said that he loves the podcast.
He said thank you all for being authentically you.
And this is him and his hope you enjoy whatever that says it.
That looks like, give me Jared with long hair in the hoodie.
Yeah, it looks like a remedy.
Regimee.
James is cute.
Yeah.
You have a boyfriend.
He's cute.
I have eyes.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
He has eyes.
I never said anything.
You said your heart for Chris because you have eyes.
I have eyes.
How about this?
Let me just ask.
Does that is your boyfriend, if you just say, I got eyes, is he cool with that?
No, he's way more aggressive about this than I am.
We watch TV and he says he's cute all the time.
It's really weird, like a lot of gay couples, I feel.
like we'll do that. I know more straight women
that do that than anybody. Really?
Yeah. I see that too. Yeah. Like all over
the place. Women are always like, oh, Chris Evans
the fucking dick in my ass.
Exactly. Girls don't want that. Or maybe they do.
I don't know. Okay.
And I'm going to throw a woman in there too because
come on guys. It's not just boys day. We have Jess.
She said, I know you delete all your email. So I'm
resending this. Wait. She said she got
both of the psycho questions right. Should she be concerned for
her mental health? No girl. I got you. And here
is her in her growing. I got you. What? We're
psychos together, but we're
not. So that is her with her
growing up. It looks cute on her. That is cute.
I love it. Okay, voice fails.
Okay, I'm just going to play it.
I'm hyped.
It's that good, huh?
Hi, Shane. It's Ali.
I'm from California, and I have a question
for Jared.
His head, she falls,
and it's really shiny.
I just, I'm
curious to know if the plunger sticks
on his take.
Oh, thank you.
Are you fucking kidding me, Shane?
Is this why I've seen plungers around the house?
So, is this just a question that I answer?
Or is this a situation where I'm getting a plunger on my head?
No, no, no.
Listen, you don't have to...
Thank you for the question.
You don't have to do that.
I mean, I got an answer, man.
For the potty?
Yes, for the potty.
The potty, that's ironic.
head is just like it.
Shit.
Should that just be a forehead apparatus or what?
This is...
Oh, my God.
Has it been used?
Oh, yeah.
Just a second here.
Oh, it's new.
You might want sunglasses if you have a...
Does it?
Oh, shut.
Oh, wait.
Wait.
Put it back.
You have to do all.
You have to do all this.
Oh, my.
You have to.
Go on.
Guys, I'm starting to Only fans.
This is what's happening.
I'll be naked.
Now, this is how you find a billionaire.
Oh, my God.
You're going to have people lining up in the emails now.
This suction, dude.
It actually hurts.
It's like cupping.
Take your hands off.
Hold on.
Just leave it on like a hat for a second.
Oh, no.
Okay, wait.
I'm speechless.
I identify as a unicorn.
What?
Shane, I feel like it's like rude.
In the year 2030, we're, okay, here's the thing.
It feels weird right now to have a plunger on my head.
I'm sure it looks weird.
This could be it in like 10 years.
It kind of feels like a problem for some reason.
You got the new fucking Gucci plunger.
You know, the new Gucci, fuck I had my job.
We have always wanted to create like a non-designer designer designer item.
It's so big.
What if we tried to...
Who the hell would fuck with somebody that walked around like this, you know?
Okay.
I would.
Wait.
Oh my god, you did like cupping to your head.
Does it look like it?
Oh, no, dude.
You're coming back.
Oh, no.
No, it's coming back.
Oh.
Let me see the little one.
It's like when they did cupping on my back.
Don't leave it for too long.
longer, it will actually stay like that.
Oh my god.
Dude, this looks like a cool thing.
My stomach hurts.
Okay.
Well, good for you for thinking about that.
Oh, my God.
It's not going to...
Oh, there it goes.
The ring.
Well, that was fun and gave me a slight migraine.
Okay.
Oh, man.
All right, let's go to the next one.
Hey, Thane.
Um, my name's Alexis.
I've been watching out for years.
I love all of y'all.
Aw, thank you, Leslie.
Um, I guess I'm just looking for advice.
My husband says he's not gay or bi, but he does the one to get it fucked.
And he wants to fuck some guy's dick.
So, when he keeps coming up, he wants me to use something on him.
Does he have a billion dollars?
Because he wants to feel that.
But he claims he only wants to feel it from me and not from another guy.
So I guess I'm just stuck on a part where
I don't know, it makes me uncomfortable
because you want to try these
and you want me to do it, but I'm not completely sure.
Yeah, he says that
he still loves me and, like, my body,
but he just wants me to do all that to him
and act like I have a dick.
So any thoughts, certainly he has to say on that.
Love you.
Well, so he wants to get pegged.
But, okay, here's what I'm confused about.
He wants her to fuck him with a dildo.
Okay, got it.
I like how you prefixed it with like,
almost we weren't going to say it in such a rocket story or something.
He wants to get fucked in the ass with a dildo.
Um, hard, like a big old queen.
He wants to get rammed in his asshole.
Okay, he's not kidding, he's not kidding.
I guess the thing is, I think he wants her to wear a strap on and he wants to.
to suck it.
Okay.
That's pegging.
And I would say, uh, this is the thing.
Maybe sexually the guy is just open to certain things and he wants to experience them.
Okay.
We could call that gay, you know, but, but I think what he's trying to tell you is he has
no desire maybe to be with another man.
Yes.
In a, in a long term like, uh, relationship.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Okay.
Like, which makes sense.
Like, he doesn't want the companionship of a man sexually, but he.
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is open to experiencing pleasure in ways that typically is associated with being gay.
You know what I mean?
Here's what I also adding on to that.
I think this is a good thing.
I think if he didn't tell you this, he's probably secretly gay.
Okay, but he's confident enough to tell you,
he wants you to fuck him with a dick like you're a man because he's not gay,
but he wants to do it and he wants to do with you.
He could be doing it behind your back.
But there's a couple of things here.
Like, did she say at some point it makes me a little uncomfortable?
She did.
Because to me, that's the biggest problem.
You're right.
That's what Jared was saying earlier, if you're comfortable, and she said she's not.
I think she owes it to him to try it, and if it's not for her, or if she feels like it's turning gay, then it's like...
Right.
Because, like, guys have prostates, so, like, do a lot of straight couples have the woman massaged the prostate?
Because it's not like it doesn't feel good.
Slap?
I think, okay, as a straight guy and been married for as long as I have, you know, like, I think most women want to at least joke about.
sticking their finger in your butt okay but I think they secretly do want to do it right
you know what I mean like I think they do want to do it but they don't but if if I told
Sandy like yeah stick your finger all the way in my butt I think she would do it I
but she jokes about it like it's a knockout they're like bloop bloop you know dirty
I don't call your brother dirty no because he's like a thing like all for certain I don't
think he has a clean whistle it's like it's like a it's like a joke it's like a boop it's
almost like a honk honk but it's for fucking your butt you know what I mean I
I googled it, and I don't know if it matters,
but the first thing that came up,
it said that 34% of straight men enjoy stimulating their anus
when they're self-pleasure.
Because I don't doubt that, like,
her boyfriend or husband could be straight.
I'm just saying it could also be the beginning
of a discovery for himself, you know?
What's interesting to me, too,
is like you were saying, you know,
men have a prostate,
and it feels good to stimulate the prostate.
And there are male prostate stimulators
that don't look like penises
that are male prostate stimulators.
But to me, there's, like, a step, you know, between that and the getting fucked by a deal.
Would they look like a truck?
It's just like a, because the prostate's up, so it goes like that, you know?
It's like, I'll put it up.
Some dicks look like that, maybe.
Thank you for calling in.
If you feel uncomfortable, don't do it.
But also, I think you should give him some credit for talking about it.
Yeah, that's a pretty big deal.
That's huge.
Yeah.
So, kudos to him.
Wow.
I would say those were some very, very next level voice memos.
If you want to up the bar, send us your voice memos.
to the phone number right here
and yeah
wow I don't think we helped anyone
we helped more than we hurt
I think we did you know
we like openness and relationships
okay before we move on
actually no let's move on
hey sorry to interrupt the podcast
but I'm so excited to show some love
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All right, enjoy the rest of the show.
Bye.
So I learned a few Disney facts that I wanted to tell you guys.
So already we talked about the cast on how it's small.
Did you know that the animatronics at Disneyland, like, you know,
that it's a small world, how it's all little robots,
and how they have like animatronics all over the park.
Like they have these Native American ones.
Indiana Jones is an animatronic.
Yes.
So did you know they never turn off?
No.
What?
Never.
So if you broke into Disneyland at like three in the morning,
you would see the Native American like animatronics moving.
Wait, what?
And you'd see like, and it's a small world.
You'd see them all like.
Please tell me they turn off the fucking song.
They turn off the song, but they don't turn off the animatronics.
Do they still have the Native American animatronics?
I think so.
I saw it on TikTok.
Oh, okay.
Well, into game reels.
Yeah.
Isn't that crazy?
Do they give a reason?
Is it like hard to turn them off and if they break their fuck?
I think when you turn them off and turn them back on, it waste a lot of batteries and it's
easier to just leave them running.
That's what I'm assuming.
That makes sense?
Because they're only closed for what, like six hours?
I know, and people aren't there.
And then you think about like 10 years ago
when they used to have on the Pirates of the Caribbean.
Remember they had like the guy chasing the woman
and it was kind of like me too-ish.
And then they switched it.
But imagine just all night, him chasing her.
That ride is already like nightmare fuel for me.
Oh, okay.
This is another fact I found out.
This was crazy.
So Toy Story, I never got this.
And then I saw this.
Did you know that that's a hooker?
Oh.
I did.
I have heard that.
That is so funny.
That is crazy.
I never knew.
I would have never in a million years known.
See, I'm not a psychopath.
I feel like if your kid is watching that and goes, hook her, psychopath.
Okay, now this is something that I could not believe.
This is insane, and I want to get your guys' thoughts on this.
Here we go.
Disney is testing a new free fall water ride.
This ride would have a drop where the vehicle isn't attached to any track.
It would likely be themed to the Titanic movie, which Disney owns.
This would be one of the most thrilling rides.
That can't be real. I don't believe that. Isn't that crazy?
That can't be real. Would you ride that ride? It literally free falls off a track.
I mean, I would write it. I just don't like the messaging behind it. It's like they're playing up the Titanic and all the people that died on the Titanic. I thought it could have been real until that. It's like, let's choose some different branding. So then I found another, another new story. This was crazy. There's so much crazy news with Disneyland. Watch this one.
A woman gave birth on rock and roller coaster yesterday.
This forced a temporary closure of the ride so Disney could clean up.
According to the woman, the ride actually helped her give birth and the baby is healthy.
Fittingly, she named her son, Stephen Tyler.
Isn't that crazy?
This is not real.
She gave birth on the fucking ride.
I love his voiceover.
It's like, Disney closed the ride so they could clean up.
I believe that one for some reason.
Yeah, and then look at this one.
Furry Day is coming to Disney World in June.
Guest can dress as furies and walk around the Magic Kingdom during this event.
Disney will have treats and,
and merchandise for sale to celebrate this day.
This is part of Disney's June Pride Month celebration.
The gays.
For a day, would you go?
Why not?
Okay, so obviously, when I saw this next one, it took me a few.
When I saw this next one, I realized this was a joke account.
But this one, I thought, was ironic because we've talked about it.
The first euthanasia rollercoaster may be coming to Disney World.
Oh, this is the same bullshit channel.
This allows guests to die peacefully at Disney World.
However, there are many legal and ethical questions around.
This goes through for the full store.
That is pretty funny.
So, yeah, that was an account called, what was it called?
Say, who's your plus one?
They're coming.
They'll be here in a minute.
Yeah, that was a fake Disney account.
I started following it.
It's my favorite thing ever.
It's so funny.
Okay, it's actually, it's also very offensive.
That's great.
All right.
So, I have a fun game for us.
Cool.
I have here a tray filled with discontinued McDonald's items.
So these are items that McDonald's tried and failed at over the last 30 years,
and I have been ready for us to try.
They're not expired.
Is this an edsy thing?
Are they expired?
No, no.
No, these are new.
These are new.
Some of them are crafted.
We created them.
Oh.
Okay.
So the first one is actually, I think, going to be good.
And this is actually from Taco Bell, but whatever, pretend it's McDonald's.
This is called Mountain Dew A.M.
So Mountain Dew A.M.
Is wake up with Mountain Dew and OJ mixed just for you.
So this is Mountain Dew.
Mixed with orange juice.
What?
So let's do it ourselves really fast.
Why?
I don't think this is bad because as we found out from thorough investigation.
Yes.
What's the ratio?
Oh, yeah.
What's the ratio?
Half and half.
It's like the Arnold Palmer of the Dew world.
So if you look at Mountain Dew, the number one ingredient is orange juice.
So it kind of makes sense.
I actually feel like this is going to be good.
I feel like we were talked about this, but you still just blew my mind.
Dude.
It's an interesting, well, does Mountain Dew have caffeine?
Because then it's like your orange juice is caffeine.
Yeah, you wake up. Mountain Dew AM, baby. Let's try this Mountain Dew AM. Oh, Jared still mix it. Mountain do them. Oof. You got to take your time with the delicacy. You do. Okay. Cheers. I'm the only one that did the orange juice first. I just want to make sure it's mixing. Solubility. Oh, I mean, it's good. I don't think. That is good. Oh, I fucking love it. Wait, this is my new thing. It's the orange juice and then a little bit of tang. This is my personality. It adds the carbonation. Yes. A carbonated orange juice. This is fucking good.
The way that it rounds out the dull, sharp edges of the dew.
Imagine dropping a fucking scoop of vanilla in there.
This is how I'm doing.
This is really good.
An OJ. Doe float.
Let's not bring OJ's name into this.
Wait, this is really good.
It is good.
Why did they discontinue this?
Well, I'm glad you guys liked that because this next one is going to be a little controversial.
So reach into your bag.
And don't take out the fries.
Take out the burger.
A burger!
Uh-huh.
Don't open it yet.
Don't open it yet.
A plain cheeseburger.
Okay.
Open it up.
Let's all open it together.
I have a really weak stomach.
You sick motherfucker.
What is this?
He replaced the bun or the meat with a pineapple.
Where'd you put the meat?
What?
Where did you put the meat?
Wasn't it called the Hawaiian?
This was called the hula burger.
This was a thing.
the thing. You made it with
sick American cheese slices?
That's what they used.
No way was this the thing.
Smell it. No.
Oh my God. I'm super jealous of
that someone with no sense of smell.
Oh my God.
Dude, don't look at it. What are you guys
doing yourself? You got to go in hot, bro.
This is sick. Okay, so are we
going to do it? I mean, yeah.
I just, why? I'll try anything.
This is a nice vegetarian option.
Three. I'll probably can throw up.
Two, one.
You know, there's a bun saugie.
Oh.
Oh!
Yeah, it's good.
I don't ever want it to get.
It tastes like blood.
Ugh.
I'm trying to think, like, why?
There's an element of pineapple pizza, like, at best.
Did?
Why would they use that cheese?
I feel like it would have been good if they used the white cheese with terriaki sauce.
I'm going to have one more bite, just to be fair.
but the ingredients don't work together
I'll eat pineapple on pizza all day
but that's like prepared a whole different way
and like the textures are different
and like that's gross
a McDonald's bun is amazing
I can see it I can see it tasting good
but not there
no this burger sucks but the bun
now don't worry
I think I have something that you guys might like
for the finale
the fucking hula burp
it was rough
so before
the fish fillet they wanted a vegetarian option so they came up with hula burger in the 1960s did not go well
people did not like it uh and they got rid of it and replaced it with the fish filet which i would say is
hands down a fucking good as item i love the fish it's so good i've never had one tartar like the worst
thing caloricly on the menu probably and did you know little known fact and we should test this out
in the future episode that big mac sauce is just tartar sauce mixed with ketchup no way um okay well let's
Jump on over to Japan, baby, because in Japan, they have something called, and these are real, chaco fries.
So they cover their fries in chocolate sauce.
But then for fall, they do pumpkin fries.
So I decided to mix the poop I had of my hand.
You mix them.
You couldn't just let us have a good thing with chocolate.
Because the chocolate is just like you're dipping it in a chocolate shake, and I'm going to be all about that, but you had to fucking add pumpkin.
So if you look in your bag.
Did you do bowl shane?
I think he's just chocolate.
Here are the chaco pumpkin fries.
It's both.
Wow, you're already eating it?
Share it.
Oh, yeah, that's bald.
We're filming a show, Jared.
No, not on my rug.
Are you kidding me, Shane?
We're fine.
We're fine.
I got to move this podcast out of our house.
It doesn't taste great.
They're also cold.
Are we just going?
Are we waiting?
Oh, yeah.
But I think the essence of the flavor in general, though, right?
Why is it so?
If there was chocolate, if it was chocolate,
but ice cream, we'd be in business.
Maybe it's the wrong kind of chocolate?
It is.
It's the Hershey chocolate.
I mean, there's a new Reese's peanut butter cut
with the potato chip inside of it.
So people are actively looking for this combo.
That's just leaking out of water.
There's sometimes like a salty, sweet thing that works.
Like, there was like this place that had potato chips covered in chocolate,
which sounded weird, but it was great.
And like, I don't know.
I can see a world where this works, but this isn't.
This isn't bad enough to, like, say it's horrible.
It's just not amazing.
If you're thirsting for asphalt's melting your work boots,
tape measure has anger issues, nail guns talking smack again,
and hard hat baked onto head-level refreshment,
we definitely have that.
Cool off with Gatorade Summer Blaze.
Available only at Circle K.
When you're feeling the heat, Circle K makes your day.
It's like funnel cake.
Kind of, maybe.
Well, there you guys go.
Those were the discontinued McDonald's items.
If you guys have any other discontinued items, you want us to try, let us know.
Send them our way.
Oh, my God.
All right.
First, we're going to start this conspiracy corner with a Mandela effect that shook me to my frozen core.
What?
Okay.
I'm going to show you a picture of something, and you tell me what it is.
Oh, a rocket pop.
Yeah, a bomb pop, a rocket pop.
I loved those.
A rocket pop, right?
Well, what if I told you that nowhere in the world have those ever been called Rocket Pops?
No.
They are actually called Bomb Pops.
No, that's a fucking lie.
This is one I can stand behind.
That's a rebrand and they've re-changed the branding.
No, they have always been Bomb Pops.
It says in 1955, bomb pops were invented, baby, iconic red, white, and blue.
And look, if you Google it, when you search Rocket Pop, nothing comes up.
It's all bomb pops, baby.
No, they were Rocket Pops.
The local ice cream man were bootlegged.
them. How did they both immediately say rocket pop? And they were probably getting the fake ones
called Rocket Pop's. Interesting. Or were they just putting a new tag on it? Hold on. Or just
selling them as Rocket Pop. Side note. And yes, it's a crazy Mandela effect. I'm shook. But let's
talk about the ingredients for a second. What do you think the flavors are of this? That is
pineapple, a banana. I remember it being like what you wouldn't think. Yeah, it's cherry. Okay,
that makes sense. Blue raspberry for the blue. Okay, that makes sense. And then lime. Get me one.
Lime for the white. Why?
Chris is so shook.
Mama. Are you okay?
That's typical.
Yeah.
Does anybody want a rocket box?
Yes.
Yeah, this might be a good way for me to showcase my skills to potential billionaires.
Good idea.
How many roses, Jared?
Wait, let's help that girl that called in.
Have these always been so small?
No.
When you buy popsicles and boxes, they're smaller I've noticed.
You work in that pop or what?
Of course they are.
Should I put on my sunglasses?
You need privacy.
Okay, next Mandela.
So this one really pissed me off.
I know.
I'm going to be in the minority here.
It's really random and stupid, but it really pissed me off.
So in Tarzan, which I honestly don't know if I've even seen, you're, that's a lot.
Are you trying to have stage me, but?
You guys can have a suck off?
I'm looking for girls.
So, yeah.
So did you know that in the movie Tarzan, he never said me, Tarzan, you Jane?
No.
Never said it.
What did he say?
I don't know.
Jane.
Tarzan.
But he didn't say that.
He had to say something.
He didn't say it.
Wow.
Isn't it crazy?
The only thing I know from Tarzan is, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, and me, Tarzan, Eugene.
Yeah, so what the thought?
Never happened.
Never happened.
I know.
Are you sure?
Yes.
Did you check TikTok or reels or something?
That's where I found it, baby.
That's a reliable source if I've heard one.
Type in, me, Tarzan, Eugene on TikTok.
Okay, we'll do that later.
Okay.
Mike sent this in to the email.
Shane does a podcast stuff at gmail.com.
If you have any other conspiracies or Mandela's
it to us there. So Mike sent this in and I have never felt more gratified. This is a picture
of a Fruit by the Loom shirt that was at a goodwill and you can clearly see the cornucopia.
Of course. Zoom in on it. What?
I have those motherfuckers trying to say they don't. I remember we've talked about them before
but I can't remember the details. Listen, I don't want to get sued. Who knows? It could be fake.
It could be AI. I mean, we saw what they did to our bodies. But I'm going to say that
it's confirmed. It's confirmed as fuck. So we were.
guys good investigation work um okay Richard Simmons I've never gotten more
emails in my life besides the emails asking if my husband's gay or am I a cuck
or am I a cuck the other top email is Richard Simmons so you know Richard
Simmons the gay guy who is like a huge workout guy in the 80s come on girls
seven double cut I used his tapes no you didn't don't be mean no I'm just saying
like no you didn't I did it yes I did
Anyways, as you guys remember, here is pictures of Richard Simmons,
and here is pictures of his Halloween costume that people sell.
It comes with the leotard, the headband, the Afro wig.
Like, that's Richard Simmons all the way, right?
People dress up like him.
They have this headband.
Richard Simmons supposedly has never worn a headband.
There's no photograph of him that exists wearing a headband.
Wow, that is crazy.
I feel like I've seen him on the Today Show 200 times, and I've always seen a headband.
I know.
That just feels like a lie.
There's never
These look like AI photos
But honestly I feel like they're scamming us
I was just gonna say it kind of looks like an AI photo
Jared
Is this the inspiration for AI
All of the photos look like this
God look at him
God I love him so much
Yeah so no headband
So that one's crazy
If anybody can find a picture of headband
Show me but I can't find one
Do you know that nobody's even seen him
For like five years?
I know can you imagine if he came out of hiding for you
Like for this show
People say that he goes out
disguise and he like interacts with people and he doesn't talk like the way he talks he's like uh i think
we talked about gilbert godfrey he's like that he has a different voice and he talks like hey what's
probably yeah wow yeah anyways i have a question it's about winnie the poo what is winnie
the poohs catchphrase he he what doesn't one of them go here no i love honey something i don't
okay fake fan it's oh bother oh bother yeah that's yes i think it's oh brother
you do I think well I'm here to shake only your brain because they got it right
Winnie the Pooh has never said oh brother Winnie the poo has only ever said oh bother
which I'm not very shook by because that's what I thought it was
oh bother but I still want to read it out loud but isn't that crazy yeah I
think Richard Simmons not wearing a headband could get topped that was it okay now
this is another update for Mandela effect so as you guys know I got very upset
in one of the last episodes because you guys all lied to me
and said that you don't remember Tinkerbell
flying over the Disney thing and dotting the eye
and all that shit. And I was like, you guys were all a bunch of
fucking liars. So, somebody sent me this
and said, look. So I guess this is on
the DVDs or something.
Okay, and guess what? Tink,
where are you at? Tink. Boom.
Here she comes. Oh, man.
No way.
Oh, there she goes. So I told you I'm right.
I mean, kind of.
I'm right.
In the other one, she went and she like,
dotted the eye a little different but on the DVDs but on the DVDs tinky was there maybe
specific to only that movie correct and why else when you go to disneyland they have tink
flying all over the castle and doing all her boob-de-to-boop why would you do that because she did it
on the DVDs I mean because she's iconic good for you so this next thing I got a lot of emails
about and I don't want to okay is it about the fucking dress no okay thank God we'll get to
no if you want to save our marriage don't I don't care if they're all messaging you
This is about Pinky Doll.
So do you guys know who Pinky Doll is?
No.
No.
So I guess on TikTok.
Now I'll explain, I really went down a rabbit hole about this.
First, I'm just going to show something.
Jared, I feel like this is going to blow your mind because this is, this is the internet now.
Oh, I can't wait.
Here we go.
Thank you, Daniel.
Take you Savannah.
Um, ask you so good.
Gang gang gang.
Gang, gang.
Take you free.
Yes, yes, yes.
Yes.
Yes, balkorn, yes, popcorn.
It feels like stripping to me.
Take a no.
Yes, yes, yes.
What is happening?
Is she having a stroke?
Gang, gang, gang.
Okay, so everybody was saying she was an NPC, a non-playable character.
Is that Doja Cat?
Is that Doja Cat?
What?
Man, that's Pinky Doll.
That's Pinky Doll, baby.
So yeah, so Pinky Doll, 10,000 people were watching that.
And she's, you know, I stream so good.
I stream so good.
Yum, yum, yum.
She is reading all the comments, right?
Right?
I thought she was just saying her words to get money.
So what is she doing?
Yes, so she's not a robot.
This is called NPC live streaming.
And what these girls do is when you're on live and you see all the things like there's
like a panda and an ice cream and all those, all of that cost money.
So people are watching and you're like gifting her ice cream for real money.
Like 50 cents or something.
Okay.
So you're like giving her ice cream.
And every time you do it, she says, ice cream, ice cream.
Ice cream so good.
gang gang and she has a different thing she says for all the like there's a cowboy hat and when
the cowboy hat goes on her she goes giddy up gitty up he hi yes it got me feeling like a cowgirl let me
read it huh and i guess that costs money so why she makes seven thousand dollars a day doing this
what i she's so good and there's never ever she doesn't have to tell a story or anything
she's just reading ice cream so good ice cream so good so it's not that she's an
She literally is just reading these people's money and getting money and a genius.
I mean, I don't think all 18,000 or paying her to say ice cream donuts or whatever, but it's like, dude, get out.
Get a life, dude.
It's wild.
Why pay this girl to go pan now?
Yum.
It's wild, but she doesn't even have to prepare a story or anything.
Here's a thing.
I get it because I did watch the clip a lot.
Like, I watched like seven times because I was just trying to figure out, but also I couldn't stop watching her.
I was like, is she going to do it?
She can do it.
And I'm like, she did it.
So I get watching it.
But paying somebody is like a lot.
Even if I really want to see her do that, that, that, that, it's like, I know some
other guy's going to pay her within 10 seconds to do it.
Why would I pay?
How much is ice cream?
I don't know.
But somebody sent her six.
Look at that.
Six ice creams in a row.
Like, also, how does she keep up?
Oh, my God.
She must get so tired.
She is gorgeous.
I think the people even know what's going on.
They just, they give her money and she just, she's on the endless.
It's like a karaoke night where a thousand people have made a request.
Like, there's no way they get to the last.
But this is like the new thing now where you're just reacting to things.
Can I get $7,000 a day doing that?
Take off your clothes.
Get on your yum yum.
I'll lose followers.
Oh.
I mean, you should try it.
Let's do an experiment.
Chris, if you want to start yum yumming on TikTok and let us know how much you make in a week.
I'll try it.
This is so weird.
fact that people are using money right to get this girl on a live stream to say yum yum and like
anyone in the world is struggling it's kind of a sad thing to me you know what I mean like right
this is a better use of so people who could be dropping thousands of dollars on her doing this I mean
it's an equal opportunity we could all yum yum and I'm saying they could add more value to their
own life with that money not just like giving away or something but it's like it's worth it's a
crazy way I'm saying is official invitation pinky doll get on this couch oh yeah pinkie come over
Yum Yum, Yum, Ice cream all day.
I'll give you a dollar to do it.
Okay, speaking of TikTok.
So Molly sent me an email and said, okay, I have a conspiracy that I've created.
So she created this.
She said, I've seen all these aging filters on TikTok.
You know the ones where it's like you and then you when you're an old man or an old woman?
She said, but sometimes people look like they're young still.
So it's like the aging doesn't work.
And it's confusing.
And like people are posting it bragging.
Like, look it.
I'm going to look cute when I'm old.
I don't even look old.
She said, I have a theory that this technology is predicting your death.
And if you're old in the filter, it means you're going to live to be old.
But if you don't look old, it's because the AI knows you're not going to survive.
That's a fucking fucked up theory.
Isn't that?
That's insane.
So before the show, I didn't tell you guys.
Before the show, I didn't tell you guys why.
I got filters of all of us.
I'm good.
Oh, this is the thing.
I don't want to know.
Oh, we'll start with me.
Okay.
So this is what I look like when I'm old.
I hope really old.
So hopefully in my old.
Oh, you're real.
Oh, I'm old.
I'm like 80.
Yeah, you and your mid-70s.
That's pretty good.
That's 75.
Yeah.
Okay, Rylan.
Let's see how old you are.
Please, let me be old.
Oh.
Okay.
Abolito.
You're pretty old.
What did you just say to me?
Abolito.
Abolito.
That's grandpa.
Wow.
Seems like you want to fuck your grandpa.
He said,
you're going to feed Abolito.
It's like when you add Ito at the end, it's like endearing.
Okay.
So is he going to die young?
I don't think so, right?
No.
Look at your gray hair.
No, I'm just healthy.
Haarline is still good.
Damn, thank you.
He'll be the sweetest grandpa.
That's why I said that.
Let's do Chris.
Okay, he looks pretty old.
Oh, yeah, I'm old.
You look pretty old.
Okay, good.
Good for you.
Okay, Jared, grand finale.
Uh-oh.
Oh, shit.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
You're like today years old.
Oh.
Jared.
Shame.
Why would you do this team?
your brother. It's not real.
It's right. It's not
real. If something fucked up happens to Jared,
I'm going to blame you forever. I'll try.
Oh my God, do you say that. I'll stop. Okay, guys,
no. I'm taking offers for as low as a hundred
million. I don't know
if I need the full bean bag. Yeah. You know
anymore? Uh-huh. I just might need a fucking point
of it. And you got to leave Sandy something good. Wow. Yeah, so I have at
50 million left. No, you're going to have a good life. That
You know, there is actually a doctor, though, that can tell you.
Like, they test your blood, your blood pressure.
Dana White, the owner of the UFC, he had it done.
And they told him he had, like, 10 years and two months and three days gone.
And he completely just changed it.
And the guy's been accurate, you know?
I don't want to know.
Sounds like I need to go.
Sounds like I need to go see him.
I look like I'm about 42 in there.
That's in four years.
Well, that was depressing.
Thank you, Molly.
This episode's really been big for me, you know?
Me and I solicited to myself.
I am, yeah, now I'm going to die young.
No.
Well, this has been a very depressing episode.
I guess we should liven it up with a recap.
My camera action.
Rylid's recap is about to happen.
Rylans recap.
On today's episode of the Shane Dawson podcast, Jared is calling all billionaires to suck a big dick for a long time.
A B, L, S the D.
And we're looking to suck till completion in the mouth or on the face is A-O-K.
I'm not settling for anything less.
And actually, and after discovering our AI death counters,
Jared is running a discount on his dick-sucking abilities.
Yeah.
What's the going rate?
I feel like I'm undercutting myself, but like, if you got 100 M, holler at me.
You know what I mean?
A hundred amps.
Yeah, you got 100-foot minions.
Just putting it out there, I'm the cheapest to lick a pussy at 20K.
Oh, wow.
And Chris is in at 50K.
That was depressing.
Oh, a plunger stuck to yours later.
Oh, my gosh.
In fascinating news, I'm speechless.
Wait. What is they fat?
Three times?
Fascinating.
It just happened.
I just am, I had to think of the right terminology because it's fascinating that we're creating fashion out of toilet plungers.
They are sticking to our man, Jared's head.
That they are.
Right.
Why are you making it a fat thing?
You said fat seven times.
Fascinating.
Mountain Dew and orange juice is delicious.
Oh, yeah.
What's it called?
Mountain Dew AM.
Mountain Dew AM is the best thing to be discontinued.
Grab yourself some.
Since Shane's merch.
The pineapple sandwich was not in.
Oh, the who in the burger?
In disgusting news, the hula burger from McDonald's was fucking disgusting.
Can you even call that a burger?
I guess not.
I was thinking it would be better.
I was thinking it would taste better if you left the meat between the two pineapple slices.
Oh, some guy just wants to be fed his own jizzles.
And that's okay.
We're pro it.
Whatever you want to do sexually, I'm fine with, as long as you're not my partner.
I'll throw that in for free for the, if you're 100 million.
Yeah.
I'll spit it right back at you.
Can you imagine if your girlfriend swallowed your load and just right back down?
I'm sure a lot of people do that and you're into it.
So she threw it up?
Well, I mean, put it in her mouth.
Decided she didn't like the taste and then spit it at your face.
Right.
It sucks when that happens.
Oh, pinky doll.
Pinky doll.
Pinky doll, ice cream yum, yum, so good.
Oh, doja cat, also known as Pinky dough ice cream queen on TikTok is going live.
And she's not a what?
She's not an NPC or a robot.
She's just getting that paper.
And you can follow Chris's TikTok to see him yum yum all day long, baby.
You're going to yum yum for those ice cream?
$7,000 a day gladly.
Yum, yum, so good.
In the biggest Mandela effect of all time,
I have discovered Rocket Pops were never a thing of my childhood.
Rylan looks like a guy who's doing his best to not let anyone know he's on ecstasy.
You know what I mean?
Like, doesn't he?
It's like, no, man.
It's cool, dude, it's cool.
He's all grinding his fucking teeth.
I didn't take nothing.
I am reminding myself of my, like,
college roommates that were on Coke.
You're about to go out to your car for old times?
Yeah.
All right, well, there you guys have for this week's episode
of the Shane Dawson podcast.
Make sure you subscribe, click, and listen
every other week when Shane posts the show.
Follow all of us on social media.
Shane has everyone listed in the descriptions below.
your merch is shane dawsonmerch.com and we'll see you right back here in two weeks on the
Shane Dawson podcast for a guy on ecstasy that was great yeah no good tell good tell
well there you guys go hopefully enjoyed whatever the hell this was oh my god edition
I can't I can't wait to see what makes the cut okay and yeah we'll see you guys next time
let's speed away boys and we'll see you guys in the next try
Paradise is back in a new location, Costa Rica.
There will be adventure, drama, and romance.
All gaps, no breaks.
That's my vibe.
Ready to find some love.
But it wouldn't be Paradise without surprises along the way.
These kids need to learn.
That's right.
Your favorite Golden Alums are crashing the beach.
We bring in a party, baby.
Bachelor in Paradise.
New Mondays at 87 Central on ABC and stream on Hulu.