The Shane Dawson Podcast - Hawk Tuah Took My Money… Office Party Podcast!

Episode Date: June 16, 2025

...But I Forgive Her! Here is a preview for first ep of the Office Party Podcast!!! New Eps every other Sunday on https://www.patreon.com/ShaneDawson ! No pressure at all!! Just wanted to let you guys know about the show! If you missed me talking about why I started a Patreon in the last ep let me explain a little bit here. The idea behind it is to build a production company and make bigger projects like shows and films. The ultimate goal is to make the horror movie I’ve been trying to get made for years. I’ve been documenting the journey as a monthly docuseries and we also started this podcast to go along with it! We are in the process of getting an office space and also planning to go into production on one of our dream projects very soon! We also are posting 2 vlogs a month (or more) and have a private community chat. Once again no pressure at all! If you check it out we hope you enjoy and also say hi!! In this episode we tell stories that we thought we would take to our graves! From losing money on a meme coin to an encounter with a viewer that we will NEVER forget. It's a true rollercoaster of emotions and we are grateful to be on the ride with you. See you every other Sunday!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, what's up you guys? Okay, I know. What is this? This is very confusing. Why did I just upload a random piece of audio? What is happening? Am I okay? And guys, no, I'm not. All right, see you next time. No, I'm just kidding. I'm fine. I'm actually, I'm good. You know, you know, there's some people when they say, like, I'm okay. You just don't believe them. And like, no matter how many ways they say, you're like, okay, but are you? I feel like I have that tone of voice, but I really, am doing okay. Guys, I'm okay. Okay, let's move on. Anyways, what am I talking about? Right, this podcast. Yes, okay, I'm so excited. If you don't already know in the last episode, I talked about the fact that we launched a Patreon, which I was so scared about and so nervous about. And you guys have been so supportive and so sweet and just so, like, excited about it and encouraging. And it's just been so much fun. It's been a week since we launched. And we've already posted two vlogs and one episode of the docu-series where we're, you know, trying to build a production company. And our first episode of the Office Party podcast, which I'm so excited. I'm going to show you guys like 20 minutes

of it right now. So you can check it out. See if you like the vibe. If you don't like the vibe, no worries. But if you do and you want to check out more, you can go to patreon.com slash Shane Dawson. And it's going to be out every other week. So it'll be all. It'll be out. like the weeks where there's no podcast on my YouTube channel, there'll be an episode of the Office Party podcast. And this episode is me, Ryland, and Spencer. And we're talking about a lot. Yeah. It's a vibe. Did people say that? It's a vibe. Because it is. It really, really is. Yeah, I'm really happy with how it came out. We had so much fun. After we filmed it, I was like, I don't know. It just felt really good to like hang out.

talk, not plan anything out, and just see what happened. I mean, I tried to plan things out. Didn't really work. And I really like it. So I hope you guys enjoy it. If you do, let me know. And yeah, here is a sneak peek of that. And I'll talk to you afterward. Okay. Enjoy. Bye. Let's party. Hey, guys. Welcome to the first episode of the Office Party podcast. Woo! Oh, no. What was that noise? I think it is peaking a little bit when we go hot.

Are we too loud? I think so. Woo! Yeah. We're peeking a little bit. Yeah. It's okay. Let me just turn these down.

I'm stressed. For the end of the vlog, like, let's go upstairs and fill in the pockets. It's been like an hour. Three hours. The lighting's not good. Hey, Spencer sounds weird. Talk close. Hello. Do I sound better now?

Check? Yes. Okay, I'll keep it close. I think you need to not be insecure about your beautiful voice. I think you should get right up to that mic. Just the mic. you have a nice mouth sound like you're not you know some people are cotton mouthy like i feel like i do have kind of cotton mouth and i have learned from the fans that i have a little bit

of a lisp which is i didn't realize before but like spencer's lisp is so nice and soky i'm like i didn't even know i had that oh my gosh has it made yourself conscious when you're talking not really but i do hear it when i listen back like every now and then i don't know what it is maybe i just have dry mouth when i have it but i do notice it sometimes when i say yeses so thanks guys for pointing that out to me thank you you know that's the thing that we love about youtube is they will find the thing that you didn't even know what's wrong yeah exactly um okay quick question does he but his microphone still sounds weird right oh no do we need to switch mics we need do we have checking mine now he sounds normal to me he does yeah listen he sounds normal to me for sure i just don't

want i don't want to ruin the experience people are paying for this the problem with this is it's experimental this is not going to be our permanent set and this is the first time we've use these microphones like really i tried to use them on the sip once and i gave up because i got too scared it was too experimental i was like i'm not going to have to record re-record honestly i relate to that sometimes it can get too experimental and you have to tap out and you're like you know what didn't sign up for a bruise um what what okay in what scenario is that happening to you where i'm not around slap me well okay let's get to that later okay we have so much to get to somebody slapped you really hard and I cried

Who? It was a lot. Is this before me? Yes, it was before I was married. What do you talk? For 10 years? I didn't have to be in a sex scenario. Somebody could hit you in the parking lot if you pissed them off. Hey, can you come up here and slap me in the face really quick? Honestly, people would love that. I used to ask you to slap me when I was in middle school. Mainly girls. It was kind of weird. Yeah, that was like your way of like getting your crush. Hey, yeah, touch me. Yeah. Hey, I had a kid in, uh, I think it was middle school. Cody, shout out. He really pushed his body to the limits. So he would throw up on command

every day during lunch and it was like his thing, right? Every day. Every day. And but but the seems more like a problem. Yeah. It seems like a way to cover up a problem. It's a superpower. And even the popular kids were obsessed with it. So they'd all come over to see Cody throw up and they'd be like, is he Cody, Cody. And then he wouldn't have to use a finger. He literally would go and throw up and everybody would clap. Would he just eat so much that it was right there? what i know he just could do it call cody we should have cody throw up on the podcast i think he comes in throws up and just leaves i think it would trigger a lot of people it's sensitive on the internet it is um yes like flashing lights we have what people hate flashing lights

on the internet i hate flashing lights isn't that because people have seizures epilepsy right i don't think it's like we hate this i think it's like i'll have a seizure if i did see this um guys we have so much can i do a little bit of housekeeping so what is this every two weeks The housekeeping is just explaining what this is. I just need to know, like, what am I signing up for? You're not talking into the mic. For a podcaster, you're not... I'm, like, really loud in my ears.

That's what I mean about these microphones. These were nice, expensive mics. Are they not working? We just don't know how to use them yet. Do we need to switch them out? You can't hear me? All right, here's what we're going to do. We're going to take a two-second break.

You guys won't even know what happened. I'm going to go throw up. I'm going to go slap Spencer in a parking lot. And then when we come back, we'll either still be using these mics or we'll have different mics. Because I want to make sure this sounds good for. you guys um okay is it every other week this podcast yes it's so every other week is the podcast on my youtube channel and this will be in between we're filling the gap folks period whoa little gapers i was trying to figure that's close to something else that something else what gapers

our little gapers hey my little gapers my little goos is that like when your assholes yeah it is i mean they're just so loose when they're listening to the what is the the off This Party podcast. We want people to get loose. They're about to prolapse. They're so loose. It's just about to fall out, you guys. They're so relaxed when you're listening to them.

Okay. Oh, Pee's that story. I have a story about prolapse for later in the episode. You've prolapsed before? No, no, it's not. You've watched somebody. That is very gay, Spencer, to watch another man prolapse. No, it's not.

Why do you want to another man? Can a woman relapse? Women? Speak up in the comments. Women, are you prolapsing? I thought it was a prostate thing. No, I think it's a. butthole thing.

Okay. We're going to take a quick little prolapse. So all buttholes can prolapse. Okay. I learned something to that. I promise, guys, it's a good show. I have a whole list to your plan. Well, it's not good about this.

I thought this was great. No, it is. It's a good way to start off. It's a good way to start. People getting their money's worth talking about, you know, big holes. Okay, BRB. Yeah, that does sound better, actually. Okay, we're back.

Okay, so we switched us in microphones. Listen, guys, we're trying this out. This is scary. This is new territory. I'm a little nervous. I also have so much to talk about. I have so much planned. You're going to get the full in-depth Spencer experience today.

Oh, God. The VIP tour. From head to toe. From asshole to prolapse. I was with you assholes today. From in and out. Can I just say my plan was to not be overly sexual on Patreon because we're dads now. I feel like that's like not my vibe.

But something about you. bringing it out of me i'm not i'm not personally considering prolapsing to be sexual yeah then you haven't done it right i know it's a fetish but it's not mine okay so on the agenda today oh my god shoot what i'm just picturing it it's like so unsexy to me just like somebody's entire asshole just like ballooning out oh should i just say my quick little anecdote now please i just need to know so it's i went to this we're probably going to talk about later i went to a porn award show. Yes. And so a big fan of Shane and everyone, Samantha Mac, shout out Sam. She's a huge fan. She's super nice. Took me along. She was like, hey, Spencer, she'd come. I was like,

okay, I'll go. But anyway, we were going because her friend, this guy, Ivan, who's like this crazy guy, this legendary, like, porn videographer is like getting in a, he was in the Hall of Fame. So congrats to Ivan. Congratulations. Those gaping halls. Yeah. But before I went, I was looking at, I was like, who is this guy? I saw on some video. his work. And he was talking on some podcast about, yeah, when I film prolapse is like, it's disgusting because I'm right there with the camera. I basically have to make sure it's in focus and then I just defocus my eyes. So I know I'm filming it, but I don't have to look at it. So that was my anecdote. But I just remember seeing that. I was like, what am I

going to, who, what is this going to be? Can you, okay. Okay. See what's sexy about it? We can tease. We can tell me later. That was a good story. And I'm trying, I'm trying to incorporate great sound effects into this and I feel like that was a good story I liked it now talk about the feeling of prolapsing well I haven't personally

experienced it thank God but I hear it feels intriguing I didn't know what that's going to be or oh wait that's someone who likes it oh

that's how it feels Trust me. When you look behind you, you got a pink tail. What, you've prolapsed before? No, but I don't want to do this. Like, you want, let's move on. Let's move on. I want this the whole thing to be gross.

I have fun things planned. So you agree it's gross. I also agree it's gross. I don't, well, we don't want to shame the prolapse community. If you're prolapsing more power to you, I just don't want to watch it. I don't want to see it and I don't really want to hear about it. Okay. What do you have for us?

Okay. Well, here's the thing. Because it's the office party podcast, and we're technically in my current office right now because the whole treehouse situation, to be continued we really to be continued we don't know what's happened there's lawyers involved we'll see what happens with it fingers crossed bottle prolapsed and prolapsed cross together office is confusing because it's not only your office but it's your bedroom but it's also your TV room but it's also your movie theater I cleaned up but it's also your bathroom before we started the podcast there's a bathroom here he doesn't I cleaned the couch yeah I don't

shit on the fucking couch I cleaned the couch I sprayed perfume I got a canva going like listen It's my office, but I want you guys to feel at home. Oh, I always feel it at home with you. Thank you. In your home? Yes. So because it's an office party podcast, I thought it would be fun to like theme things like office-y, which I was trying to think about for the Patreon chat. This is so insulting to everyone that's in an office.

We're like our office. It's kind of fun, right? They're like fucking kill me. I hate my job. Hey, I worked in an office for years. So did I. Shout out. I kind of love the community.

Or is it the community? What's it, what's it called? Like the, um, the, um, the camaraderie. No, like, like the, like the, like the, like the, the whole thing. I loved the, oh, culture. Uh, I love the office culture because it was like every day somebody would bring a treat. Mine was just so much drama. You knew the drama.

Every day. It was never ending. You're really shaking that mic around like a dick. And it's, you got to stay right on the tip. I can't see because they. airs in my eyes. Am I the only person? Shane sleeps with a fan directly in his eyes.

And I'm always like, I can't see. I can't see because the air is in my eyes. Okay. God, you would be a joy at the office. Oh, I was. You would be complaining. The comment box where you like walk by and you put a little. Destion box.

Yeah, you'd be filling that motherfucker up. I was telling you, there was lots of drama at my office. Oh, I remember. You would come home from work and you'd be like, oh, my God. And you start telling me about this drama. And I wanted to be like, do these people know we're all going to die does this really matter but listen when you're in the culture it becomes part of your life and i want us to have it's like a neighborhood you want to know

what's going on and then you put yourself inside of it and you wish you weren't in it but here you are anyway so okay back to the idea of the chat i feel like the patreon chat should have like an office vibe so what is it like your patreon for the sip is the chuggers because the chugger chat because they don't sip they chug they're chugging the content yes so like what is ours is ours like co-workers is ours like the uh i don't know the teammates like what's like an officey thing hmm we all have so much experience yeah let us know in the comments we were called um what office are you talking about that was an office that was literally we had cubicles sweetie what weren't you sitting at the front desk calling people like

sadly you haven't been in in a while first of all yes second of all they lived for those they lived for those calls I thought you were at the front desk because I cared I had honestly like a hundred clients who became like really close friends to me

and I would see them lose like hundreds of pounds I would cry they get on the scale which that was such an experience because listen as somebody who has been on the weight loss journey multiple times throughout my life you know when you get on a scale

you take off everything you not only do you take off your clothes you plan the time of day You plan the time of day. You take off everything. I would go in. This probably is why I got fired partially. But I would go in at three in the morning.

Let me have a sip. No. Is it flat by now? It's been two hours. Let me just have a sip. Well, okay. If you want me to perform, let me have a little sippy. Oh my God.

So I got a Diet Coke. But this is another thing I thought would be fun. Don't. Well, no, it's like the ice is melted. No, it's just like two hours old. Okay. It's stale at this point. It's McDonald's.

It's the top tier of Diet Coke. The condensation. Okay. You're so bored of this? I'm sorry. I'm invested. You're a cubicle. I think you're sitting at the front desk, but okay.

Okay. Before we get to the real podcast, this has just been a warm up, I feel. I don't know how much of this I'm going to keep, honestly. Fair enough. It was like 20 minutes of butt holes

and then like 30 minutes. You're cutting my prolapsing. Give it to me for my Patreon. It's a spliced in the middle of a vlog. I don't give a fuck. I'll put that on mine. Okay, no, fine, I'll keep it. If it's not good enough for you, it's good enough for me.

Well, I feel like we haven't heard Spencer talk enough. I feel like you've just really been yelling at me about the air. What about these porn awards? Tell us, how did this happen? That's a good question. So we first met Sam. We first found out when we were doing the dating. We were trying to do the dating thing.

And then she emailed them like, I don't really, I don't actually want to date him, but I think it would be funny. And we're like, it's probably, we shouldn't do it. but it was like kind of put her on the radar because she was like very aware like she was like I'd play a part in this big like specifically she sent an email with a bunch of very good pictures of her on motorcycles yeah and the actual email was like uh I'm way to experienced for Spencer I believe something like yeah but I could I could scare the other girls in the competition if you want some drama and I was like we're bookmarking this email yeah exactly and I emailed her back and I was like listen I don't want to scare any of the

the girls um but i do think actually spencer is probably just as experienced as you because like the more i learned about spencer not i met her i'm not well isn't she also like 20 years older than you yeah and she's like an ex porn star right a lot of but yeah but i i take your point yeah have you looked into some of her work um that's interesting exactly i think i looked at a video at first now i think it would be weird a little weird she's also retired she's retired her at porn store so she doesn't do it anymore okay she's like she's still like involved around the industry but she's not like performing herself she has like a modeling she's super tattooed so she's big in the like alt world where like like tattooed and like pierced up girls but anyway so she

i think it was like a comment on some podcast or something but she was like i'm officially inviting spencer to the someone's like she i like the end with her like oh my god you know because she followed me i followed her back and it was like hey you were sorry you didn't get on the show blah blah blah and she was like it's okay like friendly just talk in the DM or something like that and then she invited me to this thing and I was like you know what that sounds like something you don't normally get to do in life so like you know and I think it would be interesting and you know but anyway so I was like yeah I should do this and so we basically was like all right you're going and so I have a picture from

the red car there was a I show up we show up to her friend's place Ivan's place early to like meet I was really scared about what I was going to yeah the synumtover this is I'm I'm in The picture from the red carpet is so funny to me Because it's like It's like pick out who isn't the porn star here What was the red carpet vibe like? Like were people dressed in like the Oscars? I'm sure they were wearing scandals like sexy

Right? Well yeah you'll be able to Is this a better picture? What's a better picture? Oh we should have put it on. There's multiple. Is this Getty images? Were you on Getty?

I'm actually published in a porn magazine now. Oh, wow. Because this is so the award It was called the X RCO Awards, the X-rated. Sounds like Elon's kid's name. Yeah, I know. It's like the prestigious porn award, apparently, which was not the vibe of the ceremony. It was the craziest ceremony I've ever been a part of.

It was absolutely insane. There was no structure at all. When I like, oh, sorry. Oh, no, but it's like, apparently it's like the inside, only the insiders vote on this one. It's like the other one. The inside hers. Yeah. Sorry.

But it's too easy. So this is the group I was on the red carpet with. Oh, my. Oh, my God. Let me see. Oh, my God. It's so funny. Oh, my God.

Okay. Okay. Sorry, I'm just taking it in. Wait, you match the vibe. I feel like you look like the manager. I know, yes, you're like one of their managers. All the people there kept being like, you look like you're working on Wall Street. I was like, that's not really.

I was kind of hoping to be cooler dressed than that. I love these. Can we get all these people on the office party podcast? Yeah, we could probably. Their office culture is wild. Yeah, it's a lot. But, yeah, I had a cool shirt, but the suit was like, it's like a suit from like a wedding. And so I think I looked a little corny, to be honest.

No. I mean, a lot of people there were like just cool. I mean, that guy's dressed like Satan. Yeah, he kind of, he's crazy. He's the prolapse. He's the perlapse king. Yeah, he's the guy who had to defocus his whole filming that. when women won an award at that show

okay what were the categories was it like best actress or was it like best squirter um it was a little bit it was like one of them was like super slut and it's like what does that mean and or else some of them were for specific like videos like all types of categories break out is their like biggest dick award and smallest dick no no no I think that's more like the avian awards was the other it's like the big one question and that one has like more like like audience like the audience voted on who has the best tits and it's like someone wins best tits i feel like if you won best dick even if you're atheist you're thinking god yeah right yeah at least got to thank your parents right if you won the smallest dick

i don't think that's an award yeah i think that's like a razzie yeah smallest stick that still made it in a porn anyways um okay i promise we're not it's not going to be a gross show you know what let's lighten things an hour in this is super cool casual casual Let's lighten it up a little bit. We have a theme song. Now listen, it's a risky move to have a theme song made when you don't know what the show is. But I went to Nicole on Fiverr, who makes all of our amazing songs. And I was like, here's the kind of the vibe.

Spencer has a twisted mind. Ryland is boogey and unrelatable. You know, like that's kind of the vibe. We're doing crazy things on this office party podcast, make a song. But not too crazy. But not too crazy. So she made a song So this will probably change

This is like draft one We can give her notes We can like tell her the vibe But here is the first official song Of the office party podcast Wow Office party podcast Office party podcast

Office party podcast Shame was viral Into endless rabbit holes Riving will be burgy and always Unrelatable Move stands, high expenses twist in mind Friends and family come for a good time

We might get drunk or even high Because it's not monetized Hey This is the office party podcast Wow It sounds like a Dua Lipa song Wait, it kind of does It really does

Doa? Is that her? Is that you do-do? Is that you do? Do-do do you think that's what her friends call her? Do-do-do. And then listen, there's a little like

This is just a shorter version that we can play at the end, ready? Office Party Podcast Office Party podcast That's it I can really see Like you know Dio Lifa's like hump dance

Where she's like slamming the floor No I could see her doing it to this I don't either You can't have this be the permanent setup My neck is like cramping From turning Yes

Because it's such a violent turn I'm just gonna listen This has been a violent turn violent turn of events i'm just going to listen to you guys like this um okay so can we talk about how i lost money to hawk toa yes yes yes finally finally our queen hawk who yeah you know what people get canceled and then there's people that are like allowed to be mad and people who shouldn't be met whatever i am allowed to be mad because i lost real money she took my real money but i still love her what does that say about me it says that you are the one to put money into that in the first

it says that i'm an idiot and i own it okay so Hawk Tua owned the world You know what I mean? She was the peak of her powers She was at the peak of her power She was the I don't watch Marvel But the one with the fist

And the stones So we could snap Like and change everything She could hook to Change the world My friend was like Hawk Tua is doing a coin And I was like

Really? I set my alarm Hawk to a coin Coming tomorrow at noon California time And I was like All right I have my Hocktoo alarm. I'm ready to go.

And I decide on a whim that I want to go to Universal Studios and go to Super Mario World with Riley. And I was like, you know what I want to do to celebrate Hock to a day? I want to go to Universal fucking Studios. And I want to go to Toadstool. Toadstool. I thought you were having to stroke. Tohok Toad's Cafe. I was trying to incorporate whatever.

Okay. Anyways. So I want to go to Toadstool Cafe. And it was one of the best days of my life, except for this moment. because we go we're in line at toadstools right it's so chaotic in there people are like have been waiting for weeks to get into toadstool it's like a covenant spot you have to like show up early and you have to reserve a spot but you can't reserve a spot until you're in the park and we get a spot and we're in line and this alarm starts ringing and then we're right we're about

to we're literally the the woman dressed as toad is like you're next and we're walking up and it's hawk to a time and i was just like So there you guys go. That is the first 20 minutes of the Office Party podcast. How good is that theme song? Oh my God. She is just banger after banger. She really just comes with the hits.

It's crazy. So anyways, if you enjoy it and you want to hear the rest of it, patreon.com slash Shane Dawson. No pressure, obviously at all. And yeah, I will see you guys next Sunday for the regular podcast. Okay. Have a good Sunday. Okay, bye.