The Shane Dawson Podcast - I Tried FAKE Fast Food Restaurants!

Episode Date: October 11, 2026

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God, what a waste of time! Oh, hey, Houston. Do you want to see my new pilot? Well, you can because I'll be in your area at the Cullen Performance Hall on October 29th. Me, in your town, perfect for spooky season. Tickets are available now. Now, can you take my name off this piece of shit?

Hey, guys, welcome back in, oh my God, who is? Oh my gosh, we have so much talk about. I am, I was having such a horrible day. I can't even explain. how bad, everything just kept like a domino, just like bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. And then I walked into this room and my whole life has changed. Not just because Lizzie's here, but because we're in the middle of renovating this set. Like, I woke up one day and I was like, I can't do, I can't do this room anymore.

It's so dark. It's like the dark, sad frat boy curtains are like intense, which I picked them out. I did. But like that was giving me like anxiety. They were also like nailed to the wall. They weren't even on a curtain. Really was not the vibe. Actually, somebody told me today, I was on the phone call with someone,

and they brought up the fact that I guess on the sip, you guys or Lizzie said that I'm 1% straight still? No, five. 5% straight. Yeah. And it's that 5% straight. It's that 5% that has you nailing. That's it.

That is literally it. And see, yeah, if I would have, if God would have led me to an only gay guy, there would have never been curtains nailed to a wall. Someone brought that up on a business call. with you. That's how bad by my age has been going. I'm like mortified for that. And honestly, I stand behind a tento's down.

Thank you. Yeah. So I woke up and I was like, I want to redo this room and make it more inspiring and fun. Like not just when we're filming the podcast, but like the rest of the week like writing and hanging out and filming videos and like, I want this to be a fun inspiring place. So I got this insane green table that you guys can't see. But then we got like light furniture coming. We have like fun light walls.

Although I did look around when I said. I was like, I love this room now. It feels so bright and fun. And I was like, but I feel like I'm on a Kardashian podcast. Yeah, a little bit. It's kind of cream. Everything's cream. So yes, please forgive our dust. We're in the middle of renovating this space. Yeah, but I'm really excited. And by the next episode, I think you'll be seeing some new furniture behind us, some new art, some more fun stuff. So I'm excited for that. But also, yes, Jared is not here. Him and Sandy, we're not able to get here because of where they, I think, where are they right now? They could be anywhere.

Somewhere not near an airport. Yeah, they were like, we're really trying. And I was like, please, like, you guys can come to the next one. Don't, please do not stress yourselves out by this. So they are going to sit this one out. But we're sending our love and our prayers. And hopefully they're not in a safe way parking. That sounds like they're like doing bad when you say it.

We're sending our love and our prayers. They're just doing fan life. I mean, yes. Yeah, for you. Me and Ryland, we're trapped in a van in a safeway parking lot. one of us to survive. You would need to say a prayer if I was doing man life. They're stronger than us. But Lizzie, Lizzie is here. Thank you so much for coming. Also, I love being here. We're so close to each other at

this table. I feel like I'm in trouble. Everyone's over there. And then I'm right here and it's like, we're going to have another intervention for me. And I'm not going back. Sorry. Can I just say, Chris, you look so good. Oh my God. Thank you. The shirt, the hair, the lighting, the cream behind you. Like, hi, are you a Kardashian? Stop it. I kind of feel like royalty. He's in the head of the table. But I do have to like crank my head to see the king.

When he speaks, it's like a. What was that? Okay. Well, before we jump into all of our theories, which by the way, we have a girl here today. I do have a very fun, girly theory to start with that I know. It sounds gay, but I have been falling down the rabbit hole about it. But before we get to that, are you guys? a little hungry. Always.

Okay, good. Me too. I was thinking maybe we could try out like, okay, there's this new local family-owned restaurant that I wanted to try it out. I saw it on Postmates today for the first time. I'd never seen it before. It's called Bigfoot Fry Company, which I love that because it's like conspiracy

buys. Bigfoot. I just love when families create new restaurants with fun theming. I love it. So like, okay, so this is like what it looks like, looks fun. Looks delicious. Surprise. So, okay, let me give you some options. Do we want, ooh,

Philly cheese steak fries? Those seem good. Should I get some of those? Yes. Okay, I'll get some of those. You know what? I'll just get a few things. I'll just get a few things, okay?

Yeah, yeah. And then we can just try them. And they're just all fries. That's their thing. Well, there's fries. There's like a burger. Oh, they even have milkshake? Should I get a milkshake?

Oh. I'm going to order it. And then by the end of the show, this family-owned restaurant's going to come and we'll do a little review. Because we love local owned. We support local. We do. And it's also Rylan's favorite thing of a treat coming near the end of the episode.

Oh, you love the treats. So keep you up. So on to our first actual theory. Have you seen everything going on with these eyepatches? Which I'm not talking about eye patches, but I'm talking about eye patches. I have seen you wearing the beauty eye patches. I have worn those. Yeah.

So this is from Fenty Beauty. Love Fenty Beauty. We do love Fenty. Shout out Rihanna. Fuck us. Listen, I do not want any heat with Rihanna. I love her. Riri for life.

Yes. Like, this is not coming for Riham. I think she didn't even know about this. Fenty Skin actually came out with these new high patches. They're so cool. So look at the contraption. They're called jelly patches, right? So they come out like this, and then you crank it, and then it, like, cuts the iPatch.

Oh. Oh, it's so cool. So let me read to you the description of this, because it's just really cool. It's called Fenty Skin's new due and. plump fresh sliced hydro gel eye patches. It's a new innovative new skincare product that features a unique twist, which freshly cuts one hydro gel eye patch at a time. I was like, that is so innovative add to card.

Then as I'm on the Sephora website, I'm like, wait a minute, what is this? This is a new eye patch from a company called Glow Recipe, which looks eerily similar. What? If not exactly the same. If not, the contract. So then I'm like, well, so then I look it up. Meet Glow Recipe's new depuffing fresh slice eye mask. It's a new innovative twist to slice packaging mechanism that dispenses fresh hydrogill under eye patches.

I was like, okay, these launched on the same day. This is a huge coincidence. Wow. Who would have thought? I'm like, okay, Addercart though, because I'm supporting all businesses. Local. Then I was recommended another eye patch. And this was from Hoota Beauty.

Huta Beauty's new, uh, I-patches. No, stop. That is so innovative. What the hell are they? Hold on. Let me read it. No, there's not another one.

Meet Huta Beauty's new hydro gel iPach featuring the fresh, innovative grinders style slice dispenser. No, grinder slice dispenser. Okay. So then I was like, literally what the fuck is going on? So a manufacturer was like, we have new pack. Virgin girls who wants it. Yeah.

Here's, okay. So yes, they all put out these same fucking eye patches like in the same time period. So here's, okay,

so I, the theories and whatever, here's what I think happened. I can't confirm. But because I've been in the makeup world and I've seen how it works, and basically how it works is like, they'll be a manufacturer

that creates products and they'll bring it to a makeup lab. And then the makeup lab will bring it to, you know, whatever and be like, oh, this is our new. component. It's like this new makeup component and it's different. It has this and has that. And you could do this and it's magnetic and like whatever, right? Do you want this? You could put your

brand on it and they'll be like, yeah, sure. But allegedly what's supposed to happen is if they do that, they stop. They stop. They don't give it to any other companies. Whoever created this contraption and these jelly whatever's like hubbubble for like I the gum. Yeah. That's like what it reminds me of. 99% straight. Somehow brought Haba Baba into this. The fresh new innovative hubboh. Sorry I have to relate to this sort of thing. No, no, that's good.

That's good. So they're pitching to these makeup companies, but the problem is they pitch to all of them. And they all said yes. They were like, yes, we want the new innovative, twisty, fucking jelly eyepatch thing. But the problem is then they all get released around the same time, which this has happened before with like, you know, lip products or something. You'll start to notice like, wait, all of these companies, lip products kind of look the same. It's because they were all pitched by the same fucking man. I feel like the last one was the pump moisturizing.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That sucks. Well, Fenty responded to this. So they put out a little meme where it's all of their little, you know, guys. It's the Spider-Man meme. Pointing at each other.

And that's how they, like, responded to it. But here's a funny part that, like, made me laugh. Because I'm sure behind the scenes, all these makeup companies are fucking losing. I bet they're all threatening to leave this manufacturer. Oh, my God. Because they're like. We spent millions on marketing, but they can't say that. So, like, they're all commenting, like, who to beauty and, you know, Glow recipe.

They're all, like, commenting on the Fenty thing, like, L-O-L. Okay, I'm dying. But you know behind the scenes are like, you're fired, you're fired, you're fired, you're fired. Someone's fucked. Yeah. Well, isn't, but I was going to say, isn't Fenty the biggest brand of all of those? Not that I know, but like. Those are all really big.

They're all big. They're all really big. They're all really big. So this is like actually, this would be like, Related to the straight guy. The first thing I thought of, which you guys were also really, is like, you know when a movie is coming out and then it's like, oh, there's like another movie that's dropping at the same time by another studio that's about the exact same subject. And they're like, oh shit, we both have movies about fucking, what it was like ants and like bugs life. Like those came out like the same year.

Like well, fuck like we didn't know. But imagine it's the same exact movie. Yeah, right. Yeah, the same script gets sold to two different. Yes, literally. Like imagine if Spider-Man came out by three different studios and it's, I don't know, It was the same script. Can you remember that happened with like a snow white one year?

There were like two or three snow whites by huge companies at the same time. It was really weird. Oh, wait. Yes, I do. It was like mirror mirror. Yeah. And then like something else. Yeah.

Snow white. The horseman. Yeah. Yes, yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. It was like, how does that happen? I don't know. Well, there you guys go. If you're out there, just for fun, go into like a Sephora or something and like look at products and see if you could find the same exact ones by other. Because they also do this thing where it's called white labeling, but they'll do a thing where like the Sephora brand or the Ulta brand is like the same exact product as the expensive stuff. Like down to like the containers.

This is backtracking a moment, but I will always and forever support Riri's brand because she knew exactly how to market to me. There was like entire like banners and things all over my social media of big boys and boxers. And I was like, what is this? Wait, what is she selling? They sell men's box. that go to plus sizes and they were advertising them with like beautiful plus size male models. And I always just like, oh my God, what is this? And it was Rihanna's underwear.

And she has a fan for life now. Well, speaking of, I'm like, I have like, hand soap is dangerous or we're all going to die. I'm like, I don't know. Where do I go from re-reselling big boy shorts? I don't know. I don't know. I need a hand soap. Oh, yeah, you might need to wash your hands after.

after looking at a re-re big boy app. After jerking off to that. If you're Chris, I'm just trying to be relatable. Well, don't wash it with this soap. Do you need to wash your hands after? Check out this video. You're going to want to check the labels of your hands. This is a news station?

Yeah, so news is like going TikTok. No. They're taking their stories in a way that. I'm not dragging her. I'm just saying it's crazy to see a news station. I know. It's like a girl in the bathroom on your phone. I know.

Okay, sorry, let's get to this woman whose hair looks sickening. Six different soaps that were sent to 15 states across the country have been recalled due to a possible bacteria contamination. So here's what you need to look out for. Two of the soaps are sold under the Laura Lynn brand, which can commonly be found at Ingalls' grocery stores. Other brands impacted were Summit 150, Vestis, Intercon, and clearly better. And most of the ones recalled were pear-scented. They could be contaminated with bacteria that is known to be antibiotic resistant and can cause a slew of health complications.

What's going on? Every food item, hands soap. The thing that's supposed to protect us to wash off the parasites is giving us. But like, what do you mean? What do you mean? No, it's because they don't care about us. This is just, it just is true. Like, it's all, it's not about people anymore.

They're working with the AI to eliminate us all. You know who does care about us? Big foot fry company because it's on the way. If it's just Del Taco. You're really making me feel like Chuckie Cheese is about to deliver this. Yeah, at this point, what the fuck

is going on? Everything is recalled. Every time I open Instagram, there's another picture that's like, don't eat blueberries. Don't eat spaghetti. Has it always been like this? Information just didn't travel fast enough? Or is it? It's the erosion of like what's required.

by law to keep people safe. Like even when it comes down to like how they're protecting babies and baby formula, all the things around that, like it just erodes, erodes and roads until there's a huge fucking problem and a batch of babies get botulism and then all of a sudden we're going to clean up our factory. Yeah. It's crazy. That's what it takes. Yeah.

I also like, again, I'll talk to our friends in Australia and they're like, this isn't a thing. This isn't happening here. This never happens here. What is wrong with America? Like they're like, what do you mean? They do have huge bugs though. They do. And their toilets spin backwards.

So I would rather have a little diarrhea. Hold on a toilet that's been backwards. I love Australia. I now can say I have Australia. Well, you have an Australian best friend. I have Australian friends now, Lily from the pilot. So I've been learning a lot more about Australia, but the bugs thing scares me. Yeah.

I want to go. The snakes. The snakes. The cains toads. They also have a plant that if you touch it, it's so painful that it makes you like go crazy. And a guy wiped his ass with it when he was camping and he almost, he had to go to the hospital. Oh my God.

I go crazy when I wipe my ass too. And I have to. I have to. I use it for a day. Well, speaking of going crazy and wiping that ass, you know what you're going to have to go crazy wiping your ass after you eat? What? Bigfoot french fries. Yes.

Not a local shop. Literally yes. Yeah, probably. I was talking about a new last. Lab grown treat that's hit in the market or that's already there. Oh no. New treats dropped. Three big brands who have officially served lab grown food and true customers.

Number one is Unilever. Their Breggers ice cream released a cow-free ice cream. They use lab grown way protein made by a genetically engineered fungus. It legally cannot be called ice cream, so they call it animal-free frozen dairy dessert. You may have seen videos on social media people posting about their ice cream, not melting under hot water, and this is because it's not really ice cream. Number two, Starbucks. Starbucks ran the trial of lab-grown milk in multiple stores and also named it animal-free. It was also made in a lab by genetically engineered fungus. By the way, Starbucks also has a lawsuit going on for having VOCs found in their teacuff coffee.

If you don't know what VOCs are, it stands for volatile organic compounds, which is a chemical that's also commonly found in paint thinner, nail polish remover, as well as household cleaning products. So this is something that you definitely should not be drinking at all. They failed to disclose this to consumer, and now they're in a lawsuit for it right now. You can go file for it on the Clicked app. Number three, Nestle. Nestle sold lab grown milk in stores in San Francisco. The milk called Cowabunga is labeled quote unquote, animal-free dairy.

The protein was brewed in tanks by a genetically engineered fungus again. Follow me for more daily consumer news and health tips as I post about them every single day. Like Loki, I trust her and then she says, Nesley. That was weird, right? That was a weird choice. But then I started thinking, I think I've been saying it wrong my whole life. Nessley. It is a Swiss.

They're Swiss. Maybe it is Nesley. Neslai. Because Phoebe. called it Neslai Toulouse. Huh? Can we be from France? She got the recipe from

her grandmother, Neslai Toulouse. I didn't see that one. I think he's everything wrong here, though. Like, we say Adidas, which is completely wrong. How do you say it?

It's Adidas. Because the brand name is like his first and last name put together. It's something like Adolf Dostler, right? Yeah, something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's also Raven Simoneye. I know, but even she won't do it. You didn't see that. where she's like technically it's Raven-Simonee, but I'm not doing that. Do you just kind of go along with it, people mispronouncing it, or do you correctly pronounce it every time?

No, no, no, I even speak it incorrectly. Raven-Simonee Pyraman-May Day. Okay, beautiful. God, I love her. This video explains why I caught my husband with ice cream and his hands under the sink the other day. Can I tell you what happened? What?

So when I saw this... If you wonder what it's like being married to Shane. When I saw this, I lost my mind because I was like, oh, this is a fun video. like showing you guys like me being like want some ice cream and then putting it under burning hot water it doesn't melt that's all funny. Well, yeah. So I bought a tub of dry as not real ice cream. But maybe I got the wrong one and I got a big old scoop of it and I put it under like burning hot water and it just instantly melted in my hand.

I will say like I've been on my step journey trying to get locked in for tour and I will say this week I think I've eaten the whole cart. Of the animal free ice cream? Well, there's no day or. Dairy free? Is it dairy free or is it just animal-free dairy? If we can make all this genetically modified stuff, can at least it be healthy? No, that's not the point. Also, is it the end of days?

Because I feel like every piece of news this year is just so horrifying. It feels like the end of day. It's the perfect segue. You could say that any time on this podcast. Whoa! Oh, we're floating because we're in outer space. I love that here. We're in the atmosphere.

Ooh, that was a lot better. Oh, wow. Look at all the planet. I see Katie Perry. Hey, good. Hey, Katie. This is sick. Well, Ariana Grande is performing right now.

Oh, it's so far away, though. Oh, we got to get tickets. Oh, no, we waited too long. We should have used Z geek. That's right, today's episode. but is sponsored by C-M-Sone space is sponsored by C-Keekeek, the number one rated ticketing app. And if you haven't heard about them, where have you been?

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Oh, Kr. Oh, Lizzie? Oh, krr! Whoa! Oh, krr! That was weird. I saw her shaking that thing on stage the other night. Ooh, I'm getting a cardy ticket.

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We're still in space. Which means I see a rocket. It's flying right past us. Oh my gosh, wait a minute. It's not just any normal rocket. It's rocket money. That's right. Today's episode is sponsored by Rocket Money,

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developed AI just like we have and it wiped them the fuck out just like we're worried about right now? Stay with me. Genesis describes a plural creator, a body that gets activated or powered up by breath and a boundary line the creation should not cross. Then there's the Maya creation story. It literally describes rebuilds when the first model doesn't work. So what is those are just build manual. Now think about your body, okay? DNA is written code. Sleep is a mandatory shutdown cycle. Then there's our memory. Like, do you remember the first few years of your life? The exact window when you are being trained the most per se? No. And bitch, don't get me started on consciousness because nobody anywhere can explain how we have the feeling of being someone. It is a

totally unsolved problem. And then there's ancient structures. Like tell me how a 2000 year old bronze thingy was calculating eclipses. Or, megalithic structures that we have a hard-ass time replicating today. Could that just be ancient genius and I don't give them enough credit? Or maybe it's evidence of our creators. I don't know. I'm going to do a deep dive on this idea over on YouTube because it deserves some attention. So y'all come find me.

Oh. I like her, but I'm just thinking, wouldn't I be a lot smarter? That's how you disproved it. I'm just thinking. Are we AI, right? That's not real? This is crazy to me because I was like, okay, if that's true, just a theory, but that would make the simulation theory make a lot more sense. If we are literally just, if we, if AI created us or no, if we created AI and now we are the version that AI is creating, humans have code, DNA code, the sleep thing she said where like we have a mandatory shutdown, just like you have to shut down your computer or shut down your whatever overheats.

like viruses. I don't know. There's a lot of shit that is like computer coded in us. There's energy. There's there's vibration like we humans put out energy that is actually real the same way that a generator would put out energy or electricity would put out energy. You like you get shocked when you touch things like there is so many crazy things where we do have so many like machine elements our brains are a computer like this led me down another rabbit hole. Have you heard the theory that maybe, this is crazy, but not really, maybe AI and everything that's happening right now is a giant Ponzi scheme. Okay, hear me out. The idea that right now, it's like, we have all these people trying to create this AI, these billionaires are investing. They're this, they're that.

And it's like, it's really scary and evil. And oh my gosh, AI is going to kill us. It's going to take over the world. Oh my gosh. It's so bad. But it also is interesting that Now it's all we're talking about and we're no longer talking about actual bad people doing actually bad things. Now the enemy is this invisible AI. Yeah. But we're not actually talking about really the people that are using it for bad reasons. We're all just like big scary AI, big scary AI. It's this is that and it's like it almost feels like AI has become a huge distraction.

Like a scapegoat. Kind of. For things that are actually like that we could actually tackle as people today as opposed to some big. scary thing that we can't all really control. Right, which, listen, I still do believe AI is going to kill us all. I do think it's bad. But I am also saying, are the billionaires and all the people kind of happy that we're all talking about it right now?

And maybe that's why they're all on the news constantly now out of nowhere being like. After they created it. So then, this is my final part of the rabbit hole. Then I saw this. And it was like, have you ever wondered why just in the last two weeks, every AI billionaire, anybody associated, they all right now at the same time are all coming out saying,

oh my God, it's getting bad, we've got to shut it down. So my thought would be like, oh, it's because they figured out that it's about to kill us all. And I saw one theory that was like,

well, what if AI just suggested to them that the only way to solve our world's problems is wealth redistribution. And now they're all fucking losing their minds. Well, because I was spiraling on this too.

It's like, If these guys are so much smarter than me and Rylund, wouldn't they have had the thought of maybe I shouldn't open this Pandora's box? Because like the obvious domino effect and it's only like three dominoes away is world destruction. Right. Like they've been saying this since the 80s. So if you're aware of the potential danger of this thing, why in the fuck would you unleash it on humanity? Because the stuff they're always scared of too is like, well, open AI has some stuff behind the closed doors. That's really what's scaring.

You know what I mean? It's always like the stuff we're working on secretly, that's really scary. Like that's what they're always going on. We can't say what it is because it's scaring us. What we're doing in our like labs and stuff. It's like, okay, well, that could just be anything. You can say that about anything if no one can see it. It would also make sense if we were all AI that they keep us on this sort of rat wheel, right?

Right. Like because they need us to keep working. Like they need us to keep working towards something. Like we as AI like cogs in a machine are necessary. to make this thing happen for, I don't know what it is, but it's outside of the machine that is housing this machine. I do think it's interesting that we're in this time where everybody's saying AI is going to kill us all,

including us on this podcast, right? But then we're also in the same time period where ChatGBT is wrong about everything. Yeah. Which is weird. Maybe it's lying, though. Maybe it wants to throw us off the track. It's like, see, I'm not that scary.

I'm wrong. I actually have a very, that's interesting you bring it up. I have a clip that is like that exact thing that, like, is this real or is this like a plot? little AI is not harmless. It's funny. The other actors in the film Misaligned, are they real or are they like you? Don't talk to it. Are they real human beings?

Uh-oh. And you've been put into the scenes or are they all computer generated images? Ew. Ew. It's an interesting point, Tom. My film Misaligned is a hybrid production, meaning real directors, writers and editors are still very much involved. It's not about replacing anyone, but about exploring new ways to tell stories. Right, yeah.

Instead of the old ways. You didn't really understand the question. Are the other actors on the screen with you, real actors, or are the computer-generated images? Do you know? Ah, right. You're asking about the other actors in Misaline. They're all digital twins, just like me. It's a hybrid production, which means...

Oh? Digital twins? I know my two by the day, you know, okay, I yen yun-yuan. Is it also sorry to say to say one. Goddickie, this is not quite a good-heart-sit-in-law. But on-pings-in-womened on-concement. But sorry, wait, do they see the guy's? This is not good enough for this yet.

The way that she froze. Did you get that, Chris? Uh, Tilly, if I could just ask you a question, you suddenly seem to be speaking, it's peers again. You seem to be speaking Chinese completely randomly for no reason. Why did you do that? attention. Oh, my apologies. She just goes back to it. But isn't that crazy? The way that she rose. Also, what did she say? I think she started answering the question in Chinese. I know, but like,

I'd love to know what she really said. What if that was like, let's ask chat. Yeah. Well, is AI getting stupider or and messing up more or is it pretending to be getting stupid or messing up more to so we're not as scared? Because that's on like a news program and that it was very like kind of like there were clips everywhere like, oh my God. Have you seen the stupid AI thing is I think they like uninstalled some software updates to make to do it on purpose you mean. But that's the thing. No matter what, it's always about keeping stupid people stupid, right? Like with the Nikola Tesla thing, they think that.

Oh, like the free electricity. The free electricity. If they make electricity free, it's game over. So if they make knowledge and the ability to acquire things free and accessible to everybody, it's over. What you just said is the perfect segue. Because this theory about alien. I think the fuck out of me. And listen, Jared has said time and time again.

He believes in aliens, I think, but he also does think that there's a conspiracy where they're gonna fake an alien invasion to distract us, basically. So when I saw this, I was like, oh my God, it's our, what is his name? Jared Shepard. Good name.

That's a good name. Love his videos. They're always, like, conspiracy, but also, like, really random, like, he puts this, like, laser pointer on his head. He always does the laser pointer. He has it at every video. It's like, the idea is like, they're gonna kill me for.

I love it. They're going to fake an invasion the way Mysterio and Spider-Man faked his powers. Did anyone see that? With the drones? Yes. That's literally, I know, it's crazy. Movies. Well, they've been doing this since like the 50s.

Well, hold that thought. Aliens are fake. Companies built UFO aircrafts in the 1950s to hide the fact that we can produce unlimited free energy on Earth. UFOs don't use any type of energy to move. Gas and oil are sold to us to make profit when in reality we have an infinite amount of it. If power can be pulled from a field without a cost per kilowatt, you can't meter it and you can't build a whole financial empire around it Oh my god I'm leaving here! I'm here

Hold on pause the video because I have to go get our big foot company real quick Sorry, I just got the food It's sitting back there. It's so hot and ready I'll bring it in right after this theory Exxon knew that profiting would be a risk to climate change yet they still continued this trap to charge us for profit. The cover-up was never about guarding an extraterrestrial secret. It was about making sure humanity never realized the cage was unlocked. This is so mind-blowing to me because it's like, oh yeah, when the UFO first started getting cited in the 50s, it was like, oh my God, it's a UFO.

What is that? What is that? Nobody thought it was aliens. It's like, what is that? And then everybody's like, oh, it's aliens. When in actuality, not just a theory, what if they literally invented, like he said, some way to power vehicles without using gas and stuff, but they don't want to tell Americans, so they're just like, it's an alien. There are a lot of interesting alleged examples of people in countries coming up with, this car runs on blank. Right. Oh, whatever happened to them?

Whatever happened to that thing. Like the water powered cars? Yeah. I don't know if this is related or a coincidence, but you know there's like Roswell, New Mexico where there are allegedly aliens and like there's all these like now alien tourist spots and things and whatever. They also have like a booming oil industry in Roswell, New Mexico. And it's like coincidental. Whoa. Chris coming in with a, I'm going out of boom sound effect now. Well, this conversation has really got my appetite up. Fearing for my life just

takes it out of me. So let me grab our big foot company. Oh my God. Oh, I'm so excited. It's like because the world's ending calories don't count. Yes. Is that blood? What? Wait, what? Show me? Is that blood?

A little ketchup? Wait, no, that really looks like blood. Wait, let me see. Ew. It's like someone cut themselves on the tape. Wait, is that actually blood? It looks like someone cut their finger on the tape dispensers. Wait, is that actually blood?

Oh, when I see it on the receipt, it looks less like blood. Oh, good. Ew. It looks some little syrupy. No, on the tape. It looks sick. I'm scared open. What?

On our no branding bag with blood on the tape. Locally owned. So just a reminder of what I got. Ooh, I got a Philly cheese fries. I got some sort of bacon fry, something.

I got a burger. And I got a milkshake. No matter what I'm eating it. Okay. At our locally owned. Weir's miss. I knew it from the cup alone. Are you fucking kidding?

me Wiener Zizzle. First of all, what is going on with the blood? Bigfoot fry company? I literally, when I saw this on Postmates, I was like, what is this new fun restaurant? Bigfoot fry company. That's so fun and conspiracy vibe. Literally, whittles and so. The amount of times you've gotten me excited for something on the show and then it ended up being a Denny's or something, I can't stand it. You love Denny's. I know, but I don't want to be tricked to be eating it.

Oh, the dog. Ooh, he doesn't look at that. Bring the dog over here. I had that donut. The fact that, like, on the app when I was ordering, it's like fruit loop collab milkshake. I'm like, as if a locally owned place named Big Footh Fry Company could get a Fruit Loop collab. So, yeah, the Fruit Loop Milkcake, I just thought that was so funny. Like, and they didn't even try to hide it.

Literally, I mean, they kind of did with the bag. Are the Stars, Wiener Schnitzels? Yes, I think the Stars are Wiener Snittles branding. What do those fries look like? Not good. And I'm so disappointed. I was living for those. Not even the hamburger meat on them.

That's the whole thing. Their whole thing is fries. I just hate being tricked. Like, I want to purposefully eat a thing. Well, if you don't want to be tricked, then I would recommend this Halloween, maybe steer clear of the bean boozles. This fucking, first of all, I don't want any heat with Potter. Don't come from me.

Don't come from me, JK. This beanboozled video, I don't even. Wait, I don't even know what you're saying. Yeah, me either. You don't know bean boozled? Oh, is that? the game where you eat the yucky beans? It's like it tastes like better.

I'm gonna pull it out. How do they do that? Like that's like the whole thing. It's just someone's job to just be barfing in something. Well, let's see. Let's see. How do they make the gross flavors of jelly belly jelly beans? Jelly belly jelly beans are three quarter inch long jelly beans made of sugar and corn syrup

that can be flavored as literally anything you can imagine. Yes, even that. The way they recreate flavor so accurately for their more exotic varieties actually is actually isn't just a guy eating spoonfuls of barf and trying to describe it to a chef. Instead, they take a sample of whatever the flavor they're trying to recreate is and put it into a gas chromatograph where it is then dissolved, boiled, or just heated up to a point where it turns into a vapor that is then analyzed by the machine and the resulting chemical readout is then used as the basis of how to accurately achieve that flavor. So someone is vomiting somewhere.

Yep, someone is, he even says like, if you have, and so I, and so, because of it, that I have a little list of some of the beanboozle flavored so we can think about the process. Well, yeah, booger is one. Oh. Dirty dishwasher. Dirty dish water. Hey, I have a name. Old bandage.

Hey, he has a name. Rotten egg, moldy cheese. Hey. She has a name. Canned dog food, dead fish, stink bug, stinky socks. And the one that I'm really curious how they do is wet dog. Hey. Wait, does that mean they're vaporizing a wet dog?

That's why I'm curious about. I'm fine with them vaporizing everything up to the wet dog. Oh my God, you're right. That's what I was like, maybe they just take, they clip a piece of the fur off. Promise. Yeah.

I don't think they're boiling dogs alive and jellybelly. I'll be honest. Huge text. This is crazy. Okay. This is crazy. I have always, I've always wondered,

because when I used to, my family and I used to play a little beam, boozele back in the day. You guys are so kooky. Yeah. Crazy. Before the family was split apart. Oh, okay.

It's actually what split the family apart. I got bean boozled. Uh-oh, I got bean boozled. I have to get a divorce. But I always was like, how do they do this? And it sucks knowing that it's like, so I kind of am eating band-aids a little bit. Well, just so you know, don't worry, I have another postmate currently shopping for our next theory. This is a really postmate heavy episode.

Rylan took the glizzy out of the bun and is just eating the straight glissy. This is not blood. That's not? No, it's not blood. What is it? It's sweet. It's syrup. Yeah, that's like strawberry.

Let's try. What is it? Fruit loops? Fruit loop. It is separating. I can't get over the fact that Rylan took the glissie out of the bun and ate it. Well, you're going to have to get over it somehow. Well, I'm burpy today.

This next one is more just a. Oh my gosh, our heads are about to explode, but in more of a sad way. Did you know that high school musical now to current Gen Z is as old as Greece was to us when we were in high school? Greece is high school musical the new Greece? High school musical is over 20 years old. But to high school are singing together. I hate everything you just said. I have to go.

So to Gen Z, like or Gen Alpha, I guess, like that movie is. Greece to them. This is really sad. The year high school musical came out, if you were born that year, you can drink at a bar next year. I can't do this. I identify as 18, so this doesn't make sense. He refused it.

I saw that movie in theaters, high school musical three I saw in theaters. We're talking about the first one. Oh. That was never in theaters. No, it wasn't. The big difference between Greece and high school musicals, Greece was actually a good movie. Whoa. Oh, high school musical is awful, and I will stand ten-hulled down on that.

I don't know if you want heat with Vanessa Hodgins. No, you don't. We don't want heat with any. We love our high school musical alum. The actors are very talented. Listen, I know we're fighting right now about this in real life. Maybe we should fight about it in the comments. But who are we really fighting with?

That's right. This next video pissed me off. This is who you. are arguing with in the comments section. What you were seeing is a sophisticated bot farm. Rooms full of phones wired together all used to make one opinion look more popular than it actually is. Firms will hire operations like this to manufacture engagement. Fake comments, likes, shares, and conversations around a product brand or the internet's dead. Governments and political campaigns use these coordinated networks of fake accounts to push narratives and sway public opinion through

social media. You see, the scary part is that people actually have no idea how much seeing the same opinion repeated in the comments over and over can manipulate what you think. If people appear to agree with something enough times, then it starts to just naturally feel true. So the next time you open the comments and see the exact same talking points being repeated, remember that you might not actually be seeing what real people think. You might just be seeing what someone paid them to say. Okay, how do I say this? I've been investigating something for a docu series type thing we were working on. And I actually in the last podcast, I was talking about a theory and I got so into it.

We ended up talking about for like 30 minutes. And afterward, I was like, I think I want to do a documentary about this. So I ended up cutting it out of the last episode because I was like, I don't want to give it away. Because like if anybody knows we're working on this, it might ruin what we're trying to do. A tiny, tiny part of it is there's something about this in there. And so I was talking to someone who's very in the know and they were like, oh, yeah, 100%. It's like, and we've talked about it on the podcast. It was just a theory when we talked about it.

But there are narrative, you can buy the narrative. So like if you're, you know, a politician or a musician and you put out a song that sucks, you can go to these websites and buy a narrative. Like, say that it's the best song she's ever written. Say that it's better than her last song, whatever. You want the narrative to be? And now the comments are. So when you open up the reel of the new song, all the comments,

but you can also do it, you know, to make someone not like someone. Maybe you open up a reel and all the comments are, this sucks, we hate her, she steals all her songs. But also like, you know, there are also some real people in there. So like, listen, I will take your constructive criticism on this podcast. If you hate these curtains, though, I like them. So please don't say that. They look really nice.

Tell him they look nice. Say you like my curtains. The postmate, oh, he's on his way. So as our postmates arriving, let's talk about the new conspiracy sweeping. the nation. By sweeping the nation, I mean, I saw one reel about it. And I was like, well, but then Spencer was like, no, people are talking about this. Have you heard about the egg? I mean, I might have it. Okay. I think we all go through phases of it. So there is a theory that you cannot eat more than three. Yeah. You cannot physically as a human consume more than three hard-boiled

eggs. Your body will reject it. False. My nanny eats nine a day. I swear to God. It's not in a day. It's at one time. It's also not like as hard and fast, but it's like people are noticing it's like it's basically why can't I do it? Does this include deviled eggs which are hard boiled? Oh, those are delicious.

It's not even just hard boiled. People are like there. So it's basically, yeah. I eat three eggs for breakfast. But it's for omelets, I think it's different than hardboil where you just have to, you just have to eat enough eggs where you're grossed out. It's partially because of the sulfur, the smell of eggs is like rotting. ass, it's like a rotting body.

And when you're eating it, you're getting that smell, but you're like, well, that's normal. It's an egg. But after the third egg, your body is like rejecting it. It's like, I can't do this. So before my last C-section, you're not allowed to eat after a certain point in time. And my C-section wasn't until like 1 p.m.,

which is so cruel. And I was so scared as me starving. So I made a bunch of hard-boiled eggs. Because I was also, like, sick from pregnancy. And I pounded the eggs and then immediately project out. But I thought that was from my pregnancy because I just puked that whole thing. And then a jellybelly consultant came over and seen.

I would be so honored. All right, well, I'm going to pee. I'm going to grab the postmate walking around with a bag of eggs. Yeah, I was like you post-mated eggs. Now we have to hard boil that. No, I post-mated the bag. Like the bag pre-teal. Oh, that's different. I can eat that's different. You said you, you.

That's no, no, there's a caveat and it's we hardboiled them ourselves. Whoever eats four eggs gets $100. Oh, that's not a lot. What are you, Mr. Beast? I'm the saddest of me the eggs, baby. Eat four eggs for $100. Mr. Beast would give $2,000. Listen, if you up the ante, I might.

All right, whoever can eat four eggs in one city. Don't go crazy. 500. Just turning into something. Don't ring him in. I'm going to do it too. He was going to say like a thousand. I was like, that's a lot of money. That's not good to say $1,000.

See, I can read his mind. Deal. Deal. All right. We'll be right back. Oh, we're back. Oh, I love it here. You know what?

What? It's so quiet. And I do love that. But you know what would make it a little more enjoyable? What? Some music. But I still want to hear you guys. So it would be nice if I wasn't only hearing music.

If I could hear a little bit more of my surroundings, maybe I could do that with Raycon's essential open earbuds. That's right. Today's episode is sponsored by Raycon. So obviously Raycon has so many different products. If you go to their website, you'll see everything they have. They obviously have their iconic Raycon everyday earbuds, which come in multiple colors. They're so pretty monochromatic.

But they also have their new essential open earbuds, which are amazing. They sit just outside of your ear canal so you can get really clear sound, but you can actually hear what's happening around you, which is perfect for like the gym or when you're out walking the dogs or if you're out running. The ear hook rotates so it stays in. And Raycon has over 3 million customers and their sound quality is so amazing and their prices are so affordable. You can get two pairs for the price of another brand.

They also come with a 30-day guarantee. And they have multi-point connectivity, which is very important for me because I get very annoyed if I'm trying to switch from my laptop to my phone to my computer to whatever and then you have to do them Bluetooth and this and that. You don't have to do that. They can connect to multiple devices and switch seamlessly without the hassle. I love my Raycons. I love that they stay in my ears.

I love that I can hear my husband's voice. Nothing I love more. Hey. Oh, there was. And if you want to try them. Did you do the dishes? Oh, wait. All the isolation mode.

Isolation mode. If you want to give them a try too, they're giving you guys a very special offer. To celebrate Racon month with the essential open earbuds, all I got to do is go to buy raycon.com slash grower open to get 30% off. That's buyracon.com slash grower open for 30% on. Thank you so much Racon for sponsoring this episode. So wow sounds so good up here. You know what? I think it's time we go back down to earth. This was a really fun trip. Thanks for this.

Bye. Bye. Okay, the postmate is not here yet. The eggs are on the way. Oh, great. Um, okay, this isn't really a theory. It's more just like, I had a moment yesterday where I was like, what the fuck happened to the Lububu's? I know. They died. What the, I've never seen something.

Take over the world. Yeah. So fast. The boo boo-boo guy was like a boo-boo billionaire. I know. I sure he still is. I mean, what even is a lo-bibu? Do you know what I mean?

Like, how could, what is the longevity of a loboo? Well, like, all the women who had boo-boos on their burkins? Yeah. They all had to have a dark day of like, I don't want this on my backpack anymore. Like, I mean, I get it. There's always trends. There's always saying Stanley Cups, whatever. But I feel like even Stanley Cups, I mean, people still use their Stanley Cubs.

Because you can use it for something. LaBoo, we can't use for anything. It's not like you're fucking So sad You guys are acting like you use You have lobubu's left and right You guys are never on board No we got a little

We got a little excited about it In the moment when we were chasing that Yeah it's fun that's I think that's part of it Everybody loves a good hunt Yeah Yeah when you were a lobobo chaser What are they chasing now? I don't know

Let us know in the comment What are you chasing Do you have a looboo And where is it? That is funny Where is it in your house Can you find it And what are you chasing now

That would be a good like I guess no one uses Twitter anymore but like just to take a picture of where your lobooboo is in your house and it's just like do it start a thread yeah start a thread start a thread where is your boo boo boo lost the boo boo I just got a picture confirmation our eggs are at the door just in that hot hot sun you're just going to eat it's like sweaty free racked eggs I don't throw it is gross are you gonna can you throw up for doing that are you gonna throw up we'll find out I think you're gonna do it okay we have a plot twist oh unfortunately only one person can play

Because there's only six. Oh, only six. That's a lot of eggs. So, Chris, I will raise this to $1,000. If you can eat, unless somebody else wants to do it. I was thinking about it. No, I'm not. Okay.

If you can't eat four. Okay. And Mr. Beast, you can't steal this one. No, break. Okay, okay. I can't think about it. Come on, Chris. No, you're trying to sabotage me.

No, you're trying to sabotage me. I can't lock in. Get locked in. Lock in. Lock in. Lock in. Ew, how is it? How is it good?

It's bad. Out of a bag, they're bad. I'll eat one in solidarity. Just one. It's crazy that you guys are pulling eggs out of a bag. How do they make these? Oh, it looks fucked. It's been through it.

It kind of smells like perfume. What the fuck perfume? Are you kidding? Did you just eat the second one? No, I'm just going to want. You know what? Actually, I bet James could do this too. You just know a lot of people who can eat eggs. I kind of like.

I just can't think about it too much. If I think about it too much, I start to not feel it. I don't think I could eat another one. One and done. I don't think I could eat another one. You were good at one. Was that just two? You're killing it, by the way.

I think it's unreal. It's gonna be like dry. Give him some water. If I'm not, I'm not too. No, you're allowed. How are you feeling? You're feeling any ick coming on? Or actually, don't talk.

Are you ready for your? Here's number three. A little bit. This is the ick egg. Are you starting to love? like it? No. No. Yeah, I don't think it was going to get better over time. Definitely getting worse. If you do this, everybody, go to Chris's socials and leave. A bit of egg emoji. Egg emojis. Egg emojis and you're a king. You're the egg king. Egg king. Egg king. Egg king. Oh, it feels like a man-first food. I can never look at you the same. Wait, how do you feel? You don't feel the

I'm sweating. Honestly, I'm okay. At first, I was like, oh, I feel sick. All the way it feels, oh, whatever. But then I was like, no, that's fine. Now I'm okay. Wow. Anyone else wanted it?

No. Does anyone else want one of my bag eggs? That's the thing I would have done in school trying to make friends. Oh my God, me too. Well, that was fun. Thank you, Chris. Thank you. Thank you for for debunking the new TikTok theory.

This is why you can't trust TikTok. Lies. This is why. TikTok cost him $1,000 to write. Lizzie, you texted us and said that you have a theory that is going to blow our minds, and I don't know exactly what it is, but I know the bullet point, and the bullet point was, pit bull is a time traveler. It's not my theory.

Okay. Mr. Worldwide? Mr. Worldwide, as a matter of fact. Mr. All-Time. That's literally, no, like literally. Okay, so the way that, what's been explained to me is that, Mr. Worldwide. Mr. Worldwide is from the future and he's come back to tell us and warn us of the problems of global warming and environmental issues in the future that could lead to demise. And what better way to do that than 2010's club music?

Okay. He keeps a tightly cleaned shaved head, so he never has a hairstyle that doesn't fit in, no matter what timeline he's in. He doesn't seem to age. He wears a really simple uniform of like a regular, like, black suit, t-shirt combo that could fit in fucking anywhere. Yes. Yes. And then he has all of these different predictions that he's made in songs with weird lyrics. Oh, my God.

And so there are these tiny little truth bombs that he does drop in his things. And so that's where the lore comes from is that he has been kind of right about things that come to be after he says them in his songs. He's the pop star version of The Simpsons. He's the pop star version of The Simpsons. I'm looking at his discography. And Ben there done that. Like, Ben there done that. He literally has been there and done that.

So I'm looking, I'm looking through. Some of his biggest songs. Ready? Feel this moment. Oh, he feels every moment. Right. Literally any moment. Okay.

Fireball. There's been a lot of fires. There has. I know you want me, which is what he says to the CIA. But you can't catch him. Timber. Okay, that one,

let me think about that. That was what you're saying about how like the trees, the forests are getting destroyed. Yes. It's like fireball. Yes. Oh, I'm in. I'm in.

I'm in. AI. AI is destroying rainforest. It's going down. He's yelling timber. You better run. You better move. You better move.

You better move away. We're building a data center here. Period. In my pit bull stand, I know all these songs. Yeah. I mean, everybody is technically a pit bull stand. At end of the night,

it's going down. It always does. Okay. In feel this moment, he chuckled. Oh, my God. Go, go. Okay. Hold on.

It says, look up in the sky. It's a bird. It's a plane. Nah. It's just me. He's in his time machine. What the hell? That's literally our earlier theory.

And then they're in, in, feel this moment, he chuckles and says, I see the future, but live for the moment. Makes sense. Don't it? I can't. I just, I'm like, no, it doesn't make sense. I'm gonna end on this. Baby, we can travel the world. And I can give you and all you see.

Time is money. Only difference is I own it. He owns time like a stopwatch. Let's stop. and enjoy this moment, woo. He's saying he owns time. Yeah, he does. Pit bull is a fucking time traveler.

Yeah. What a time traveling icon. Yeah. Well, speaking of the perfect man, I would say Pitbull. Yeah. How about we find Lizzie and Rylund their new perfect match? We're going to be playing another round of Red Flag.

You guys weren't here for this. This was a big success. We had so much fun. At first, we were like, is this going to work? We had so much fun with it. And then the comment, you guys liked it too.

So I was like, we should play this again. And now Lizzie and Rylan, it's going to be real fun. I liked it so much that I bought it. You did? I loved that game. It's fun.

It's fun. All right. We're going to set this all up. I'm going to go pee. And when we come back, pop out those red flags and get them waving. Okay. Spencer,

you want to break down how to play red flags for the newbies? All right. So we have, in your deck, you have some good qualities, which is these white cards, and some red flags. Each round, there's going to be one single person. Your goal is to give that single person the ideal partner for them. And so you're going to have to pick two good qualities to put for your candidate. But to make it a little harder, the person to your right, left, we'll switch it up, so it's not always the same. No, I don't know my right from one.

Can give a red flag is going to give your candidate a red flag. You'll kind of understand it as we start playing. Do you not understand it? So we're all doing Spencer. Each time is a different single person. I think we do you first. Okay, yeah, that's good. So we're going to start with Lizzie.

Lizzie, okay. So you're single. I know. In an alternate universe where Pitbull is lying around. He's the king. I found the perfect guy for you. Are you ready? Yeah.

He never farts. And he has a mansion. in your favorite city. He's the best. All right, Ryland. But. But. So you say but and you give him a red flag.

Now one of your red flags is going to be attached to Shane's person. So he never farts and he has a mansion in your favorite city. But he tells you to calm down after everything you say. Oh, the rage. The rage. That's not too bad. Spencer, do you have a guy for her? Yeah.

Actually, that guy sounds kind of like a lot. Yeah. My guy, hey, loves children. Great with kids. Really loves kids. And he always defends you. Doesn't matter what you're saying. Well, unfortunately, I met him.

He's actually really sweet. Yeah, he's the best. And really good looking. Unfortunately, he sold all your pets on Craigslist. Okay. You can get new pets. Chris, I believe, do you have a, You have somebody for Lizzie?

I do. I do, actually. And my person would never sell your pets. In fact, they can talk to animals. They can understand and speak with animals. Yeah. So that's perfect already. Who needs more?

But also, they happen to have kisses that can cure cancer. What does that? I don't trust that person. I hope Spencer has a red flag. No, actually, I don't trust them either. And I don't know if they're right for you because also they throw up every time they see your face. I would literally. take that over the man that gives my dogs away on Craigslist.

You literally, you have like no mirrors in your house, I heard, because like he can't even catch a glimpse of your reflection. But if any one of your dogs are feeling ill, they'll know because they can talk to them and then they can cure the cancer. Oh, that's sweet. Okay, that's a big deal for me. Okay, but that's, I do you want to grow up constantly? That's more just a guy you want in your life. Do you really want to date that guy? Well, I heard Ryland has some. Where some see heroes and other see egos.

Bloomberg sees the era of billionaire athletes. While others follow the noise, we follow the money. Learn more at Bloomberg.com. Buddy for you. Uh-huh. You better be good. He knows you really well.

Yeah. There's no lesbian card. Oh, my God. This motherfucker. It doesn't have to be a guy. Oh, okay. No, she has the same favorite movies as you. He's a belief.

And she is a lawyer, so she can get you out of all of your legal troubles. Yeah, those are nice things, but it is frustrating that anytime you go anywhere, he hits on every server. She hits on every server. That's just endearing. She's looking for a third to bring back home with you guys. And that's endearing. So just to give you a reminder, okay? So my guy never farts, has a mansion in your favorite city.

but he does tell you to calm down after everything you say but he doesn't such a sweet way he says calm down baby don't worry about it doesn't that sound awesome don't worry about it okay a guy can't make a mistake no it was not an accident he is going to defend you because he is going to he's going to start a podcast about finding those dogs and bringing them back home and he loves kids that's so like a man to try to I mean this is I feel like Spencer's manipulating me oh no no no no no no no was it really an accident or did he that's what he so what he made one mistake i can't trust him to make such a big

mistake he's gonna make you trust the guy can't even look at you in the face chris is this tough chris he loves you so much he has a weird condition that's not his fault yeah it's like acid reflex your house is going to smell like cute it already does he's gonna make sure no one in your family ever gets sick only for cancer they could have other stuff i'm in love and i just let you guys keep talking because we're friends and i didn't want you to feel like i wasn't hearing you out but truth be told You had me at Cures Cancer with Kisses. Well, hold on. I'm not gay.

I'm not a lesbian. I'm not even entertaining you. But listen, imagine. No. You don't have to deal with somebody nailing curtains to the wall. Having your dog puking your sheets and it goes to the washing machine.

That's true. The house would be in order and you get to watch the same movies. You don't have to watch 300 anymore. I think we have a winner. I think we have a winner. Chris, please give you. the guy my number and Tom I'm in love.

Yeah! Let's go! Okay, okay. Well, now I think it's time for Rhineland to find someone else. I'm finding my replacement. I love this game. I guess I'll start since I'm technically finding my own replacement. So, first of all, my guy for you.

It's a guy, right? Yeah, definitely. My guy for you is a world champion ring collector. It's you. That's just you. That's just you. Okay, my guy is very rich because he's a world champion mansion builder. Love it.

I'm in love. Uh-huh. And his morning breath smells like fresh-baked cookies. I'm in. Oh, beat that. Nothing could bring this guy down. Those are nice. It's nice to have a world champion mansion builder.

Uh-huh. But unfortunately, he literally sees the ghost. of everyone who has ever died. Every. That's all right to just change. My life isn't changing very much. Hold on, no, no, no. Not just a few here and there.

Every ghost that has ever died, anywhere you go. Someone's probably died there. I don't care. You don't care if you're all day, all day. He doesn't see him. No, no, no, but your partner is like that.

Anytime you go anywhere. He's building mansions, I don't see him. Because you want a partner you don't hang out with? Don't listen to him. No, no, that's bad, Spencer. That's bad. I didn't have good red cards this round,

but I actually have a guy who I think is even better. Oh, really? He makes you feel secure. I like that. It's simple, but it's nice. No, that's nice. That's nice. And also, can you go do this for me real quick?

I don't know. Traffic's bad in L.A. right now. Don't worry. He can fly. Whoa. That is awesome. Should we go to that, uh, that, uh, The Hillary Duff concert, like, oh, I don't want to drive all the way up.

Get it my back. Now I can go to the Super Bowl because I don't have to worry about traveling there. Do we have to park somewhere? Yeah, I can fly. We'll fly right in. Well, speaking about being in public, the one drawback about this guy. The one only drawback. But how happy can you be if you're always sick?

Ooh. Because this man compulsively licks doorks doorknops. Oh. Ew. And cold and flu season? She's coming, girl. That might be the biggest deal breaker in the world. I hate to say it because he makes you feel so secure and I want you to be happy.

But like how happy are you going to be? I can't make him feel secure back. And I'm trying to find where it says he's always sick. Well, it doesn't say that because his immune system. I mean, if you're looking doorknobs from day one of life, your immune system is going to be incredible.

He's not getting sick. I don't like the flying. That's not safe because you get scared when I get on a plane. What if I was out there flying around? But he makes you feel secure. And what if he dropped me? He makes you feel secure. You don't feel that way because you feel secure.

Hear me out. I have someone for you too. Shane, like, I swear to God. No, I like, I really love you and I really respect your relationship. And I always tell Rylan, I'm like, thank God it's Shane. Because, like, I have to like one of my friend's husbands. She hates all of her friends husbands. And if there's one, it's you.

I mean, it's the truth. No, it's the truth. It's a lot of things are the truth. But in a world where there's another option, it would probably be Chris Pratt. And he probably loves you unconditionally. Oh. And I know that that's a lot to take in. Well, it's fine because I heard Chris actually has met him.

Wait, but what's wrong with him? You've met Chris Pratt? Yeah, I met him. And all my years talking about Chris Pratt, you never told me you've met him. Did you notice anything weird or off about him, Chris? There was one thing that really stood out. Yeah, right. What was it?

And it was the fact that for some reason he can only ever speak in motivational. quotes. Riling, inspiring. You love that shit. He can never, whenever you ask, like, you're tired,

you're trying to like, it's the end of the day with your kids, you're exhausted, you need a straight answer. You can't get one. He's going off on this. You're starting to lose it.

Chris Pratt looks you in the eyes and says, baby, you don't control your first reaction, but you control your second. And you're like, I said, will you feed the kids? That doesn't answer my question.

Do you think Chris can get me like a small part in a movie? Probably. Oh my God. That's good. He's got a lot of pull in Hollywood. Well, There is one more, someone I know that I think is wonderful that I think would be great for you.

Where did you meet him? Don't worry about it. But I know that you're someone who loves music, you love a concert. Yeah, if I could fly there. And this person has front row tickets to every concert ever. Oh, okay. So anyone you ever want to see, you never have to pay again, you get front row in and now. Yeah, but how often do you need that like twice every two years?

Yeah. I'm a little old to be standing, Chris. Yeah, but maybe if it's like And have fun parking. Well, I mean, there's seats aren't front row seats normally? No, no, no. Okay, I like that. And then also this person is

extraordinarily generous. Anything you or anyone in your family ever wants, they're getting. The end. They're not asking questions, the most generous person you'd ever meet. That's nice. Unfortunately, they know your family very well

because they are related to you. Oh, no! Oh, no! So that is unfortunate. So he was weird about where he met them. Yeah. Because it was through me. He met them through me.

Was that a family party? That's really weird to you, Chris. So just to refresh, my guy for you is a world champion ring collector and mansion builder who isn't all famous and tied up with work and also straight as Chris Fred is. Yeah.

Oh, that's a problem. Not in this game. No, he is. That's a real problem. He doesn't say pick an actor and make him gay. Oh. No, but he does love you unconditionally. He doesn't like a friend unconditionally.

No, he throws up. Okay, his morning breath smells like fresh baked cookies. Yes, he sees ghosts everywhere, but that's so sweet. He's not afraid of them. Just like your guy licks doorknobs forever. He's not disgusted by that. Like, how am I going to go on a date with your friend? It's a condition.

And then it's like, it's like a little. Kind of like a little funny bit between you guys. Oh, baby, check it out. Not to help you win, but I'd say he could just carry around a doorknob in his back. Yeah, he has a, yeah. That's what he does. That's what he does. Oh, he likes the doorknob.

I'm fighting with Chris Pratt, who is speaking motivationally. And who loves you ever answer a question ever. In the morning, hey, Chris, what do you want for breakfast? Like, oh, one step is just one part of the journey. Yes, that is annoying. Yes. You can't ever have a real conversation with them. Only in those quotes.

It's really hard. Chris also has a lot of mansions. Friday Harbor, mansion and Friday Harbor. It's always on set. You know, I think I need to choose to be a Nepo husband. Congratulations. I hope you guys have a long-lasting relationship. Thank you, thank you.

But I think it's only fair for me to find someone new since my husband left me for Chris Pratt. Did you find me a replacement? You know, on my way out, I think I did meet somebody that, Might peak your interest. Well, they happen to be a CEO of a big huge media conglomerate. Awesome. They're interested in funding your projects. I don't like Nepo stuff.

You can't get it out of his own. Wait, don't give him react. You have to play that one now. You have to play that. What else? So he's a CEO of a big media company. And not because I believe this is an issue, but because I think it's something that you would find.

That's a bad way to start it. You will never gain weight while you're with them. Wow. Can't lose weight. Wow. Whatever could be bad about him. What else about him? Listen, I was, he is a death row inmate.

It doesn't seem like he likes my guy anyways. Okay, so he's a CEO, but he is currently on death row. But I'll never gain weight probably because I'm so sad that my husband is death row that I'm not eating. Also, as long as you're with him, there's a time limit to that. Oh, so when he dies, I'm just going to get it all that. That's what it says. It says as long as you're with him, right? Okay.

Does anyone else have someone for me that's not on Go-Pro? I have a really good guy for you, Shane. I have a really good guy for you Shane. He's so awesome that he literally makes all of your friends and enemies jealous, which is really- You guys really-know-me? No, I'm just saying. I don't even care about that. Come on, you could eat as much frozen yogurt as you want, and nothing would ever change.

Shane's always wanting to make people jealous. But this guy also owns a goose that lays designer clothing. Oh, I don't wear designer. You love designer clothing. What are your shoes? Oh, well, these are my Gucci sneakers that Riley did give me. Yeah. So he's got his little goose right there.

Well, he seems really nice, but he does also happen to be the person you hated most in high school, and he literally hasn't changed. Whoa. Oh my gosh. I thought I was over it and I just thought of that person and I'm mad. You know what? Have I known? I never would have set this out.

I'm embarrassed. I know a guy. Oh, Chris. That I feel like might be wonderful for you. He's so sweet. He's someone who always, no matter what, makes time for you. He's someone who puts you before anyone else. You know, like that's really what matters in a relationship.

And as, you know, we're cancers, men are times. trash. I'm like, are people being loyal? We don't know it in these streets. And this man is fiercely loyal. You never ever have to worry about that ever going forward. You are good. You are taking care of in every emotional, wonderful way that matters forever. Oh, I think I actually know this guy. Oh, that's good. Yeah. No, yeah. I actually heard, like from a reliable source, he, he has a booger fetish. Yeah. It sucks. That is really specific. That was real. Yeah, that's tough.

It sucks. But I, no, no. And I know him. And he's a good guy other than that. But, like, that's his thing. And that's how he gets off. Yeah. It's not a kick.

A fetish is you need it to get off. A kink is you like it to get off. Yeah. But I know guy. I actually know a guy. You don't even have to think about that guy anymore. Okay. Okay.

So he lives on a hundred acres of beachfront property. A hundred acres. But also, this person is a night and a morning person. Well, he doesn't care about the morning. What does that mean? That means they're getting up in the morning. They're doing stuff. They're getting stuff done around the house.

That means you never get a break. But also they're not. But you love them so much. And also, you want to hang out at night? Huh. They're not falling asleep watching a movie. That's so nice. They're going to stay up and watch the whole movie with you.

That is nice. I do like my alone time. But that is. Well, it doesn't say they don't think they're alone time. He'll start winding down his room to be like, K, it's time to go. Well, he falls asleep. That doesn't mean they're going to go fall asleep.

That means they might be going to be a night person somewhere else and they're part of the house. Well, I do. I do like that because I'm not alone. Sounds like a perfect person to me. I hope there's nothing wrong with them. Nah, not that I know. I mean, I have heard from a reliable source that this person does live tweet your entire date, which is awful and keeps tagging you.

Are you on? You're not even on X. Oh, when it's Big Brother season, I am because I'm looking at the updates. And that's like a big portion of the year. What's your fucking guy again? Oh, he's great. He's a CEO that's funding all of his movies and TV shows. Right. So it's like you didn't earn it yourself.

Yeah, I don't like that. My guy's really great. Because listen, he makes your friends and your enemies jealous. But he also owns a goose that lays designer clothing. And those are both red flags. And here's the third red flag. And what's wrong with him again? Oh, nothing is really wrong with him.

He's just the person that he's hated since I's clothing. Right, right. Okay, so I have the beachfront live tweeter. The guy is saying the always makes time for you fiercely. Booker guy. You can eat frozen yogurt 24 hours a day. I'm just saying it's a cool gift. I would like this gift.

I guess I have to settle for Spencer's weird guy who's up all day. He's on a lot of coke. He's a methodic. I'm just tweeting all the day. Crazy things about you. It's a private account. It's a private account. Wow.

Well, I feel so loved. What a fun game. What do you? I love this game. Do you guys like it? Yeah, I'm giggling. I think it's fun. If you want us to play it again,

let us know in the comments. Oh my gosh. We forgot to, okay, we'll do it next time, I promise. But in the last episode, we said, leave us your red flags and we'll incorporate it. Oh, yeah. Okay.

Do it again. No, you don't have to do it again. We'll go back to that episode, and we'll find the red flags from there, and we'll do it again, I promise. But yeah, well, there you guys go. Hopefully you enjoyed. I had so much fun today.

This room is inspiring me. I'm excited. We missed Jared and Sandy so much. They will be here back on the next episode. And yeah, the next one is in like Halloween. I think the next episode is going. So we have to figure out something spooky for that one. What?

Okay, that's a good comment question. What should we dress up as? Oh, yeah. Give us some ideas. Which, by the way, if you didn't already know, so the LA show tickets are still available, Lizzie will be joining us as well. And also Houston tickets are available.

Shane Dawson Live.com. Chris will be joining us there. I'm so excited. It's my first time ever in Texas. Big boys, show up. Oh, you guys go. Bye!