The Shane Dawson Podcast - 📔Mandela Effects and Exposing SCAMS❌

Episode Date: May 15, 2022

In this episode Shane and his crew really bring it ALL to the couch! From Chris’s boyfriend ”drama” to Jerid exposing a SCAM he was apart of, nothing was held back. Shane also discusses his body insecurities while Ryland dives into his battle with baldness. Throw in some more ”Conspiracy Corner” and ”Peruvian Facts!” and you have yourselves a special audio only extended edition of our favorite hangout of the week. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Good dude. I'm not offended that you called me a ginger. Well, I think it's the only color of hair that if you have there's a nickname, right? Like, what is another name for blonde? Q-tip. Q-tip? I thought it was called toeheads. When I was younger, I remember they're calling it toe-heads.

Oh my god, toe-heads. Yeah, and that was like super white with like white hair. But what about burnettes? What would like the burnet slurbs? net slurby if there were to be one. I think shithead. Shithead. Ew, I mean, it makes sense, but, like, I've never heard anyone use that up. Yeah.

I was going to say, I don't think that that's like a thing, like, man, I hated growing up as a brunette, you got shithead every day, you know? I mean, it makes sense. I'm looking at that, like, wow. You're going to avoid all those things well. It's spilled water. My shoes are wet. That happens.

Gone. Record. Oh. Are you okay? I am so sorry. Holy fuck. Oh no. Are the socks wet?

A little bit. Oh, mainly the shoes. I'm a calm. Wait, are we filming? Yeah. Oh my God, it's happening. We're live. We're live.

We're live. Oh, hi. Welcome to episode two of whatever the hell this is. We're not really sure. Actually, you know what? No, we're going to say it with a little more confidence. I feel like we're saying. still in the testing phase, but I feel like it's, I don't know, I felt really good about what we did

last time. Like this show hasn't gone to series, but we're still testing it out. Yeah, like, I'm still like testing out the vibe, seeing what this is. I mean, I don't, how do you feel like it went last week? I feel like it went well, you know, I feel like the vibe was right. We had a cool dynamic. The conversations seemed fun. It seemed easy to have. Um, I enjoyed everybody's perspectives on things and I enjoyed it myself you know so did we get in trouble did we make any headlines well I do have a lot of notes on my notepad let me get to it um before I get to those Chris yeah I feel like specifically you have a lot of concerns about this podcast and when I say you I mean your mother and your boyfriend because there were some drama and we're not just going to

like go around it pretend like it didn't happen like it happened and we're confronting it head on. So let's start with a drum with your mom. What were her thoughts on the podcast? She felt like there was oversharing. Wait, really? So talk about, no, I'm sorry. I was like, wait, really? No, it would just be ironic if that was the case we wanted to open up more about it. Did she not know you have a boyfriend? No, no, she knows. It's not that. I thought there was a scandal in the family. It's not that serious. Listen, the mom thinks a joke and we'll get into the real drama. Your mom basically said that you look fucked, right? Along those lines.

She's just like, you're on a thing that people are actually watching, and you just have a hat and you just, like, didn't try. Like, you're representing our family. These aren't her exact words, but this is what she meant. I think you should pull up the, no, I'm kidding. You know, your hair looks nice this week. Thank you. Your mom will be proud. You know, though, Chris's mom, I'm with you.

Like, I'm not saying that you looked bad last week. Okay. But after hearing that, and I mean, dude, looking at you, you got a black bomber jacket on. It's like a silk suede But that's not even it Open it up, dude Yeah, let your peacock fly Whoa, I never saw that

And then there's layers to it Because you have a salmon shirt on With zippers on it, dude What are the zippers even for? Oh, I don't know, they're just... Have you ever once ever unzipped it? They're just, I don't know. How far up do they go?

Wow. They're just fun. So, not to say you didn't look good last week, but in comparison, you almost look like someone going to class last week. Okay. And this week, you look like someone teaching the class.

You know? You look great, dude. So Chris's mom, thank out to you for, tell him baby boy, fancy it up a little bit because you look great, man. Thank you.

What the fuck? Our mom didn't say anything about our looks. I mean, I don't know who said something about my looks was Rylind. As I'm sitting here looking the worst on the podcast, I literally told Shane,

I was like, I enjoy your podcast because I'm positioned on the love sack where I can be in sweatpants. covered in a blanket. Well, you have, though, been getting not mad at me recently, but I can feel there's some tension because I, I haven't changed my shirt in a couple years. It stinks. You literally pulled it out the other day and there's permistains. Like, you can't even wash them out anymore. You can't even bleach them out everywhere. And they're like unexplainable colors. They're like

red that's dyed into the collar. Okay, anyways, you got me some new clothes. So I'm testing out a new look, just like Chris. I have light colored clothes on. If you're an audio, listener only. You might want to check out the video so you can see what a disaster this is. I think you look really good and it matches the headphones and everything. I mean, I'm wearing a shitty. You are wearing a shirt. Everyone looks good today. I think we all live.

Very easy vibes. I'm feeling myself right now. And swim trunks. You know? You can't see it. Is this what it's become the four of us guys reviewing our outfits? Okay, but to the real

drama. Okay. Jared, what did you call Chris's fans in the comments? Oh, Chris Chasers? Dude, you got them. They're on you. You know, like, and really, just to say, because I do want to take note of positive energy and I want to push it back, the only thing I really heard about myself is that I didn't look fat, you know?

That's a lot of, people said I didn't look fat. And that was huge. because my mother-in-law had some traveling to do so she had to weigh a suitcase and the only way to do this was for me to stand on the scale first and then hold the suitcase and I said oh well this fucking scale's broken like it's like 15 pounds more than last time I weighed my this is getting sad I'm getting kind of sad but the crazy thing is my my shorts are falling off wow so is it my stomach pushing my shorts off is it where are my gain weight and my clothes are loose do you gain weight in the belly so like specifically or is that too personal i remember one time someone asked me oh did you start drinking beer because i guess you get fat in your stomach when you drink beer i was like i haven't drinking it like 10 years i think you look great i feel like i'm fishing i'm not fishing i was actually i don't want to fish for it but like

go ahead i'm sorry so chris chasers chris chasers yes On the yes Can I say one thing about that? Yeah I got a shocking amount of messages from both bigger men and chasers in my DMs and some of them were very heartfelt

and made me want to cry and some of them were like thin dudes saying oh like I'm kind of too nervous to like admit that I like big guys but you did so openly and now I feel like maybe I can too you know and that like meant

that like made me emotional almost that and I was like I was not expecting that at all from that he's the representative of a new community So that's why your boyfriend is nervous. Yeah, dude, this started off. I got all kinds of dudes sliding in the DMs, telling me nice things. So now I guess your boyfriend assumed and he saw you today, right?

Dressed up, haircut. And he saw you walk in here and he was like, are you trying to find someone else? Like, what do you do? I think he was joking. But he saw me dressed up in my hair down. He was like, are you trying to find another chunky guy? Are you trying to replace me with another junkie? Are you on the chase right now, dude?

Where are you going? Why are you dressed up? And I'm like, oh, my mom said to do my hair. That's it, I swear. What did you say back? Did you, like, respond? Was it cool? Oh, yeah.

Wait a minute. No, there was a lot. I was overwhelmed. Oh, my. Oh, dude. Paragraphs? No, there was a lot, like, a lot of nice things, and I didn't respond. Okay.

Was there pictures? No. Okay. Oh, one of them sent pictures, actually. Did you get dick pics? One of them said, I would like to see. Old body pictures. I never get anything.

I never get compliments. I get like, you're so funny. Or I get like, I know everybody hates you, but I like you. Like, that's all I get in my DM. Because they know we're very publicly in a relationship. It would be disrespectful to me. He's publicly in a relationship. It's a little different.

They're not like flaunting their love for five years on the internet. It would be like rude of you to come at him when I already have another skinny person coming after my man. Wait, what are you looking at me? Whoa. I feel like I zoned out for 10 seconds and I match it so on top. Totally different. What happened? What happened?

All right. Okay. Anyways, before we get on to the next part of the show, I do want to say, make sure to check out the audio version of this show. It's available everywhere, iTunes, Spotify, Google, whatever. Check it out because there's going to be an extra 10 to 15 minutes of controversial opinions over there that we're going to record after this. Yeah, check it out. And leave five stars and nice reviews.

And, oh, and like this video if you want more episodes. What else do I say? I never say this stuff. Well, it's a pilot, baby. I mean, we're still, yeah, you got. Can I plug my only fans? Yes. Wait, you have an only fans?

Do you think people would want to see it? Only fans if I had one. So comment if you'd want to see an only fans. But I'm not going to do weird stuff, you know? Don't say that. Maybe foot stuff. I'm comfortable with foot stuff right now, you know? We'll work our way up.

You're suddenly rich. Wait, we should have a competition. Hold on. We should all start only fans and see who gets the most people. Like, only for a week, like a week long, exclusive only things. I have lots of peeing photos. Like, you pee? Yeah, I take pictures when I pee.

It's so weird. They're live photos, so if I hold on it, I can just see the stream. I pee a different location. Give me a visual frame of, like, the pictures that you take. I can show you it's oh yeah I can wait that's weird I got that's like me showing you a picture of like hey I took a picture on my poop the other day

no that's like you being like hey here's a picture of my one it's so weird dude check out this dope picture I took a my wife taking the piss super rad bro do you ever like uh sleep pee like or

you like pee the bad no no no no no no no when you when you when you sleepwalk and pee somewhere weird like you pee in a closet or something like that no I have I I've done it throughout my whole life but the most recent one is we were standing at Airbnb that was on the top floor so there was a stairway

going down right outside of the door and it was like three in the morning and I just walked out and started peeing off of the balcony and Sandy woke up I was like oh what the hell you did like you're peeing off the balcony but I didn't even know I was doing it till it was happening at least it wasn't in the house I know a lot of people sleepwalk to a destination in the house and just start peeing all over their floor.

What? Okay. So, first of all, there's a lot of trauma there. See, sleepwalk, peeing is connected to childhood trauma, which we'll talk about later in the show. How do you know that? Because I wet the bed, my whole childhood. And I held in my poop, like, for an extended period of time. Who would ever want to do that and feel, like, constipated and chubby?

It, okay. Wow, dude. Okay. It has nothing to do with physical chubby. It has nothing to do with physical chub. I say no matter what your size is, when you have a big poop that you haven't released, you feel chubby.

Like you feel like, whoa, I'm like not ready to. All right, woke check, woke check, Chris. Like very bloated.

Is it okay? Yes. Super bloated. You know what I mean. The intention was right. Yes. All right. We put it through our woke converter.

Bloated is the word he was looking for. It wasn't chubby. no one's offended anyway me and Jared both had you know some trauma in our childhoods and I think it wreaked havoc on our peeing situations see I thought it's just because okay real quick guy talk how do we all take care of urination while we're driving do any of us have a regiment yes Shane pulls out a cup and starts peeing and I scream at him and then it's like to the top and he's just going to put it next to me and I'm going to be like we not do this first of all when I getting canceled at like the peak of it before i like deleted all the apps off my phone because

i didn't want to see any of it like one of the things people were canceling me for it was like and by the way have you seen that he pees in bottles and i'm like this is what we're i'm like that's what i mean is get a fucking life well if you're mad at somebody for peeing in a bottle guess what your boyfriend your husband your fiancee they all fucking do it he's peed in word i'm just coming i'm sick of having to cut around you're peeing because it's so not an issue it's like every guy does it i mean it's not that i'm always peeing in bottles. No, cups are the move, by the way. That's a life fact. Cups are the move for sure. I got a peat cup, stand behind it. But yeah, you know, if you got to go, you got to go.

I'm not going to, like, damage my bladder because I got to pee too bad. But I think it desensitizes my bladder because now my bladder just feels like any time is an okay time. I don't put much restraint on myself, you know? There's not many scenarios where I have to pee and I'm not able to. Well, I can't wait for your only fans. Ready. Okay, you know what? One thing I do want to say, I usually get scared to read comments, but I was really excited to see what people thought. And they were so nice and it was so awesome.

And there were so many comments about my brother, Jared. And they were so nice. Like, it made me emotional. And I like cried a little bit. It was just so beautiful. Like people seeing how fucking funny and great you are. And it just felt so good because I've always known that. And then you were saying, was-

No. I mean, I didn't overlook, but a couple comments, like one that really stood out to me that made me feel good and I quote as a bear myself listening to Jared talk about his sweaty stinky balls

got me real excited and I thought dude never in my life did I think that I'd be able to talk about my sweaty smelly balls and out there someone is getting excited about it you know well that's sweet

spicy No, listen, I am really excited. Like, I like you constantly saying things that make me nervous. Nice. I love Chris, you know, like we're saying things that make him nervous. And then I like Rylan just being mean to me. Oh, I always take the bitch roll. Like, I always take like the stuck up bitch roll in all of your, like, you know, this used to be the problem.

When you would do main channel videos, everyone would be like, he's the spoiled brat. Well, here's the thing. I come across awful. I get it. You know what I just realized. wait a minute Jared's a cancer oh no

so me Chris and Jared are all cancers and you're a tourist I'm the only just stubborn asshole in the group and we've got a bunch of sensitive sallies

oh my God that makes so much sense I need a life line see but thank God you're like this because if you were I will say this not to get like too dramatic about stuff

but I was I was thinking today how lucky I am to be with you and like how I don't so many people is this too much well I want to hear it oh my gosh a compliment come on like you are so not afraid of

what people say like or people's you know opinions or any of that like you're just such a strong person that like I don't know even at the heat of everything happening with me and all of that like you were just such a rock because you were just like fuck these people fuck that person who cares like whatever

because we know ourselves we know we know we're character we can live with ourselves and that's what's most important what exterior people think is such a sliver of our pie right oh all the bear is watching just got excited sorry oh okay um no but uh i just i don't know i appreciate it and i love you so much so we're still gonna fight of course but uh i love that you're kind of an asshole because it because if i was with somebody who sensitive, like too sensitive. Can you imagine just me and them on the couch crying? Like, I'm canceled. I know. Let's kill ourselves. Okay. Like literally. Like that's what would have, if me and Chris, like, keeping it real. If I was with Chris and I was getting, and it was

20, and shit was going down. Chris, what would you have done? We would have been killed myself. Everyone leaves. Everything you know. Oh my God. There was no hesitation, bro. Wow. Chris is like, I have a plan. Me and Chris are both like, fucking ready. We're like, we have our plan. We have our notes. By the way, I had, okay, sorry, last thing before we take a break. I had a meeting with my, so I have an agent. I know it's shocking that they didn't drop me. So I had a meeting with my agent, like a year and a half ago, whenever NFTs started to become like a thing. Sorry. Oh, yeah. I don't even think I told you about this. And I had a meeting with them and it was, they were like, so NFTs and like, you know, exclusive things and like if you have any weird exclusive things to put as an NFT and I was just like I mean I don't know if this is too weird but like what if we put like my suicide note as an NFT oh no like that's kind of iconic and there was a moment where they looked at me like oh my God but also I could see in their eyes they're

like they heard the cash register yeah so if you guys want that oh my God Remember when mom thought you had a suicide note? And it was like the rap song? Or was it real? And that was a lie. No, no, no. I was, uh, I mean, I was my low-key, maybe depressed at the time. Hold on.

Chris, you're telling us we have two minutes. Three minutes. Oh, okay, that's enough of your suicide story. Perfect. No, no, no. I write music. So I was just writing a song and the concept was a suicide note or basically talking about being suicidal followed by a suicide.

note followed by somebody finding me and I'm still alive and I'm in the hospital and all this stuff. So I wrote the first 16 bars, the first verse per se. And I woke up the next morning and mom was crying. We had relatives over. All this shit was going down. And then she said that everyone's here for me. I was like, for what? You know, I'm not trying to have all this shit happen right now. Or your song drop. Or was it so dark? And you were just like, no, this is my rap song like honestly good music comes from a dark place sometimes for your album release no but so no so yeah everyone thought i was going to commit suicide i was like dude it's for a song like i felt i felt like very flattered though because my art moved all these people to think i was going to

kill myself oh yeah mom woke me up in the middle the night and she was like your brother's going to kill himself and i was just like what why wouldn't you make me up you were at home you were like out parting or something i don't know how she found it But yeah, and then I read it, and I was like, that's, yeah, this is not great. And then, yeah, we were crying. And then you got home and you're like, it's a, it's a rap. And we're like, what? You can actually see it.

It's called Wide Awake. It's on YouTube. You can actually find it right now. I can't take it. This life is way too much. I feel like I need to escape. You can listen to the song if you really want. Well, mine wasn't a rap.

All right. We got one minute. No, I'm kidding. Well, no, I'm alive. You know what I mean. All right. We're going to take a quick little P-break, and when we come back, we're going to talk about some conspiracy theories. And Jared has a life hack that's going to blow your mind.

Okay, bye. Wait, but you guys are okay, right? Oh, yeah. Okay. Oh, my God. What? I'm so excited. I just remembered something.

What? Okay, so Chris, as you know, there's a segment that we came up with last week that we're going to do every week. And for that segment, I thought it needed a theme song. Okay. So I have a couple options, and I'm going to play them right now. Really? Cool, he's from Peru. Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck.

I love it. How do I go back? Okay, there we go. Wait. Do you want to... Okay, ready? All right, here's option number one. Chris is cool, he's from Peru.

His Peruvian facts are fun for me and you. That's so... Is that an Australian accent? I think it is. Dude, that's rat. I think this should be played. You should carry a Bluetooth speaker. There's everything in room you enter.

And it only cost me a hundred dollars. No. You are, no. I don't remember. It wasn't that much. We have another option. Oh, it's a competition. Yeah.

We have to decide. How many? What's the one? We have two. Okay. I'm ready for you. Yeah, that was so cool. Okay.

Ready? The Peruvian icon, Chris is back. Giving us Peruvian. Chris is going to give us Peruvian facts. Oh. I'm never about hating on anybody. I feel the same way. Creative process.

But, you know, I don't know if, like, maybe there's a drug I could take that would make me understand why that's amazing. But that shit was all over the place. Like, how, like, try to dance to that right now, you know? You're going to look like you have no idea how to move your body. Also, the first one was so good that maybe had we led into it, had we had we? Hold on. Hold on. He also made me, though. This is something that the girl didn't do. He made me something to play after the fact. Ready? So like, for example, Chris, make up a random fact right now. Oh, God. I can't. Don't. How many babies do Sammas typically have in one litter?

142. I don't know. Okay, ready? Sounds like a little after the fact. That's cool. So he made that. You know what we could do? We could play. hers and then you do the fact and then we do his Peruvian fans yeah we show each of them some love thank you hers is iconic I can't I can't believe somebody made though those are so cool I mean I paid for them but still but no I was very excited I freaked out I've had those on me for like a week I'm very very excited okay so Chris why not let's get into it do you have the Peruvian fact of the day I do Chris is cool he's from Peru his Peruvian facts are fun for me and you

So, I mean, this one's a little more well-known, but it's just a really cool one. Do you guys know about Machu Picchu? It is one of the seven wonders of the world, and it was built in 14, 1580. It's a structure slash town that was built for an emperor so high up in the mountains, like, where the elevation is crazy. It's like, if you hike up there now, it's not everyone can do it, you know? And... Knowing that you're into, at least. I couldn't.

I couldn't do it. I'm just saying, in the altitude, I'm. I couldn't do it, you know? And it's one of the wonders of the world because we kind of have an idea of how it was built, but like it's debated even how it was made. On some of the sides, there's like drawings of like

men in the sky with like circles around their heads and they're like, did aliens build Peru as a popular like theory? Build Machu Picchu in Peru. And like many of the stones weighed more than 50 tons. And it's just like it's, again, it's one of the wonders of the world. It's like this insane thing up in the mountains.

That didn't really work. Really lighten it up, dude. Is that really, you know? Wow. Sorry, I'm looking at photos. I had to get a visual representation. I'm actually familiar. Machu Picchu is very interesting.

It's very cool, man. So is this whole podcast going to lead to us going to Peru? Yes. Our first live show. Yeah, I'm Peru. I have family there. Although you did say that, like, you got some hate from your family because you're also German. And they're like, why not do German facts?

And I'm like, what are we doing? My family from Germany was just like, Oh, Christopher, you seem very proud of being proven. It's wonderful, but you didn't mention anything about being German. I was like, oh. You're so worldwide. I didn't know how I felt about your accent for like 10 seconds. I know.

It was like, oh, dude, cringe, you know. But then I was like, whoa. Yeah, it's a real good. Like, I can't do it, you know? Wow. Okay. Oh, you were just telling me that you had this idea for a segment. And I got really excited because this is called Cheap Tricks with Jared.

And you're going to show us how to save a lot of money on something that people waste a lot of money on. Explain? I like a lot of caffeine, you know, a lot of caffeine. I need to get my day going. And when I go to Starbucks, I'll get like four or five shots. You know, I'm playing no games. I'm all in it. You're buzzing.

Yeah. And these drinks get very expensive. The drink I get could get up to like $8, $9 or something of that nature. So it starts feeling crazy. Like they gave me the cup I'm like fuck I could have got like two pizzas Yeah

You know And where At somewhere No it's expensive But how about It's not out of the realm Of possibility That I could have gotten

Two pizzas for this You know like Little Caesars by the way They feel Well They're 650 now They were not Inflation's nuts

Yeah I know Because this is a life hack What I'm teaching you How to do Is make an up to $20 Starbucks drink for $1 This is a thing though I was at a 7-11

maybe about three weeks ago and I was telling the person at the counter that oh I've never seen this coffee machine here they had like a very elaborate digital almost like a slot machine for coffee with all the images on it and she said well you know it's only a dollar for the cup

so up into an XL cup an extra large big goal they're only charging you for the cup so I was like wait so I could put any of this shit in my cup right now and it's only a dollar she said yeah so I started on the digital screen they have a double express

so I put ice in my cup I get a double espresso shot it asked me if I want an extra shot yes please so three espresso shots then I do that again so it's a total of six espresso shots and then what and then what I'll do your heart's gonna stop well I take all day to drinking I'm not like chugging it you know by any means maybe I don't even finish it sometimes but so then I'm getting the mouth my mouth is actually dry up as I talk about it's like pre-dehydrating then I'll put about eight to 10 ounces of an ice vanilla latte but before doing that I like to get I like to get fancy so if you go to the right kind of 7-11 like the one I went to today they got a whole myriata stuff they got the vanilla

syrups the caramel syrups the chocolate syrup like real chocolate syrup yeah so after the espresso I'll dump some of that in there just to kind of okay all of it No, not all of it. It's like a splash. What are the bystanders? How are they reacting? Like, are you like move out on the barista? I'm so focused on my drink.

I don't even care, you know. But a few people have told me, wow, I never thought of that. You know, so I feel like. We're going to put 7-Eleven out of business. They're going to have to shut down their $1 drinks. Now, you brought one for us to try. I will say it's been sitting there sweating for two hours. So, like, I don't know how it's going to taste.

It's definitely separating as I look at it Chris can you grab the big gulp Who's drinking this is gonna make You guys have made it sound disgusting to me I mean I'm excited So this is it I'm ready You're gonna drink every day

No sure I'm gonna try it let's see Let's see It's $20 at Starbucks Oh my god Oh my god Whoa that was crazy I'm not making this up of being dramatic, but I just had double vision. Try it, right?

That was only a dollar. If you could even believe that. He's all above it. Oh, you know what? I like it. I got to admit, you grossed me the fuck out when you were describing it, but it's great. Wow. And for, cheap trip.

And for four quarters, are you kidding me? That's what I use today. It's pocket change. Yeah. Pocket change is also a good name for the segment. So that was a life hack. Yeah, I was once told I am like a Jessica Alba. Wow.

Amongst the bear community, you know. So, because I said like, you know, I don't even think, I'm not, again, not fishing. You know what I mean? You know, but I said, oh, you know, like who would I be like in the bear community? And they said Jessica Alba and I thought, I'll take it. Chris, can you search just on your own? Can you search for like, what is your ideal? guy my boyfriend

shut up well you can't show him so maybe so maybe show like your I just I'm curious like your ideal like the perfect body like if this was your list there's got to be a celebrity crush body oh I have a celebrity crush but that might have two celebrity crushes actually

and they're polar opposites you'll see one of them I'm very embarrassed about airplay it to the television so Chris you're showing oh did you own my I know it's so embarrassing it's so embarrassing. It's so embarrassing. And I want to, I want to clarify for it. Wait, I didn't see. Wait, hold on. Chris is pulling up his, his two crushes. I can't. I'm so embarrassed. Hold on. I think I saw it. I want to clarify. So when it comes to celebrity crushes, like, there are no

bear celebrities. So it's like, what do you mean? There's like, how many are there? How many big, like, men celebrities are there? There's, like, very few. That sucks. It sucks. It sucks for me. but we are losing a lot of them to like the gym you know if there's a bar full of like thin dudes like you or whatever you're the chasers is that called a honey hole for the bears

a honey hole it should be right it shouldn't be a honey pot oh yeah the h the honey hole sounds but the whole part oh yeah they're chasing

the hole, the honey hole. They are chasing the honey hole. Okay. The reason I was saying what I was saying was there's not, it's not like I have a ton of options. You don't have to justify your love. No, it's. Don't be in bear-ist.

Oh, okay. So my celebrity crushes are. Ice Cube? O'Shea Jackson Jr., who is Ice Cube's son. He doesn't look like a bear to me. He's not. He's just like, he's thick. Okay.

And I find him very attractive. Okay. And then... Is your boyfriend going to like this? No, I mean, it's a little late. I'm so sorry. All right. Okay, perfect. Skip this part.

And then there's Kevin James. Oh, my God. I'm sure Kevin James would love to... Mall cop? Who is... What? Don't be mean about Kevin James. I'm not.

I love Kevin James. I never thought anyone would masturbate to Paul Blurt. I know, so that's what I was thinking. Here comes the boom. You've come to conclusion multiple times with him. Come to conclusion? Really? Yeah.

I love you so much. I love that you jerk off the King of Queens. But specifically to him and King of Queens when I was much younger. In a postman outfit? Yeah, this full body postman outfit. Like my mom and I would watch the show. And there was one episode where like, oh no, it looks worse on the TV, where his wife is like doing like pole dancing for him,

but she's not doing it well. like oh this sucks and so the whole joke is he's like oh let me show you how to do it and like everyone laughs at like oh it's so funny that he's doing this and I'm sitting there like the most turned on I've ever been and I was like I got and my mom's like so funny right and I'm like my mom's like can you go get me a water following me and like it's yeah specifically that episode Chris you give me so much hope for humanity I was going to say for who I mean the fact that you're jerking off to Paul Blart like the fact that the zookeeper is like It was getting you there.

It was just so beautiful. It was before all those movies. I'm going to watch one of his movies tonight. I'm just curious to see, like, what's going on, you know? Like, if he's his celebrity crush, I need to see, like, what we're doing. He is very fit fat, though, you know? I know exactly what you mean. He's got a great hair line.

It's like his fat defies gravity, you know? But like I'm saying, fat just stays where it has muscular. He has floating fat. I sound like I'm chasing right now a little bit. But I meet it when I say, like, there's not enough pigment. Like, the. aren't amazing representations of my type of men because I don't have that

in mainstream movies. You know what I mean? Wow, get on Twitter. That's what I mean. That's what I mean, though. There isn't mainstream representation for the man. It's true. You know what? This is actually a perfect segue to our next topic. Speaking of big men,

why are you looking at your brother? Because we're big men. I'm a big boy. I believe me and him are big men and you two are little small boys. I got a comment that I screenshot it because that's thought it was so beautiful. It was from Christopher Price. And in the comment, he said, I think it would be good for all of you to talk about issues facing men. As a group of very different men, it would

be interesting to hear points of view on things like pressure to look good, weight problem, mental health. And I kind of love that. And I was coming up with topics. And body image and eating issues was one of the topics that I thought would be interesting to talk about. Because me and you haven't really talked about it too much. But I do think body image, I mean, to day you were even talking about feeling you know what'd you say fat that's what i was talking about yeah i mean so uh it was just interesting because i've always seen you as a type of person who didn't care at all about like what you look like because you we had very different childhood like you grew up playing sports and skateboarding and you were skinny and i was always so like like like fuck like i was

always like fat and just wished i was you and you just never cared and you were also the Though, well, we shouldn't talk about. There was drugs at some point. Well, you know. I think the first time I smoked weed, I was like 10. Whoa. But then I didn't smoke again until I was like 14, you know. Where did you find weed at 10?

So down the street, I mean, shout out Doug. You know what I'm saying? But I had a buddy who found some weed in his mom and dad's little, like, sock drawer. So we put it in a straw and we try to smoke it with Matt. matches and then it was done so we tried to put some dead grass into the straw and smoke it and realize that that just hurt so we didn't do it again you know and then the next time i was like 14 years old i think i was in ninth grade but so i didn't actually smoke weed and all that stuff until probably like high school wow yeah okay um i have so many questions about all of that

but just to throw it out there just to throw it out there fun fact uh i always thought it was fat you know So no point along until I did like real drugs. You know, I got serious about my drug use. Then I got skinny. But that was only maybe for six months. Maybe a year is like I was real skinny. But other than that, but to your point, I guess I don't really care how people view me. You know what I mean?

That is the case because I've always found that confidence is what drives attraction of others more than anything. You know, like, I mean, you know, what's his name? Kevin James. probably because the guy is so damn confident you know what I'm saying and he's so charismatic and he got big arm muscles and shit you know and you like that dude it's also funny that's really important to me

what big arm muscles funny but I just always view like that and also I got red hair I had freckles I had braces I had glasses at one point it's like you can't throw nothing else at me you look skinny in all of your all the childhood photos I've seen you look skinny

like just a skinny kid I think the problem is I hung out with people that were skinnier than me you know what i'm saying so i was the fattest one of the crew so i was the fat one of the crew so like but i didn't mind you know i'm a big boy sorry i mean i think that's it's so interesting to hear that because yeah i mean for me i'm the opposite like i literally and i'm not i'm not just saying this to be like relatable or something but i have zero confidence when it comes to how i look i have confidence in other areas of my life but when it comes to how i look I have actually negative confidence, which I feel like, yeah, you're the opposite, which I've always

been so jealous of. And it wasn't even like, even now, like, I'll still just think like, oh, why can't I just wear a shirt or wear something and not care and not think about it and whatever? And you can. And like, why can't I do that? I don't know. I mean, we grew up in the same house. We were raised by the same people.

I'm like, why did I? Like, why am I so have so many issues with it? I don't know. I think I just genuinely don't care what people think, you know. I just think anyone who's going to judge me based off of that isn't somebody I'd even fuck with. You know what I'm saying? So that's just, I'm not trying to attract people that are judging me based off of what I'm wearing, you know? So I don't know.

It's almost like filtering people out. If you only want people around you that are with you based off of like appearance, then just solely focus on your appearance, I guess. But if you want genuine people around you, you kind of got to just be genuine. And I just genuinely like to be comfortable, you know? So usually I like elastic shorts. you know that's that's always been the goal like elastic shorts belts are just they cut off circulation they're hard wow i think yours too though Shane is your whole adult life has been on camera and

in a public regard and especially when you go in public it's like you've come to a place where you would suck in for a lot of your your time out of the house i mean here my problem is and i and here's a thing it's one thing to be vulnerable and like you know know that's a good thing right to like share your vulnerabilities with people around you and you know be open but the problem with that is then people start using it against you so like when i started youtube i was very open like you know i used to be really fat and like i lost weight but i still have issues and all these things and ever since then that's been the thing that people use to make me feel really bad it's like fat comments talking about my weight making fun of my weight like i can deal with

every other kind of comment but like those specifically would kill me like they would crush me like I would barf after I read some of them so I think that's a problem is because you know haters or whatever you want to say knew my weakness because I was so vulnerable bit me in the ass bit me in the fat ass but I'm trying to not do that anymore and I'm trying to just be grateful to have a you know body that Chris likes hopefully and you know you always got to remember hurt people hurt people you know so nobody that's living a happy life that in the current moment is enjoying themselves in a joyful, peaceful way, has any intention on writing about you being fat and looking a certain way.

You know, so it, to me, when I see those kinds of comments, it just makes me really sad that there's people out there that this is how they choose to spend the most precious currency they possess, which is time, to just make people feel like shit. You know what I mean? So if anything, I'm really sorry that those bother you, but on the flip end of that, there's got to be some really fucking miserable people out there. to feel like it's important for them to use their time to type that to you. So, you know.

But I do think you are very confident, maybe not in specifically your looks, but you're a confident person. I'm confident when it comes to, like, editing. And, like, that's it. I relate to, like, everything you just said. Like, because I... We're the same. And even, like, about sucking in.

Like, you, like, I suck in all the time, like, all day, every day I'm sucking in. Because I feel like I just don't have the body I want. And see, this is what makes my brain explode. Like I, you know how many people I would kill to be you so many to have your body? I would actually kill my brother. You know, I got to be honest. I think that I am, I've been, I'll just hop on the sucking it in train. But when I was younger, I remember one time in science class because I just felt like my stomach was hitting the desk, you know, or like it was close to the desk.

So I would just like suck it in. and, you know, you get to a point where it's just natural and it's like you don't have to try to suck in. And I cramped myself up so bad that I had to go to the nurse. Yeah. And I was like, oh, my stomach has so much pain. And she's like, go sit on the toilet. And I was like, no, I'm telling you, my stomach really hurts, you know?

And then she just like, no, sit on the toilet, and then tell me how you feel in five minutes. And I sat on the toilet and I farted like three times and that was good to go. And that was it, and that's all I needed. Yeah. But so I'm, I'm, because she said that I just had built up gas. and maybe sucking it in was doing that but like you know hashtag stop sucking it in let it out you know

that's literally my boyfriend all the time now was like stop sucking it he's like your body's great stop sucking it and i i even just when we're alone like i can't i'm like you're gonna see it me not sucking in and leave me immediately did you grow up fat or something um no but i just never like my body i don't know i can't i hate my face my body my teeth oh my god what the fuck see this is this okay i'm so happy we're talking about this because this is blowing my mind somebody like you who has from an outside perspective like a very normal skinny person body a nice face like a good hairline like you have it all baby you do have and the fact that you're sitting over there holding in sucking in and like think it's so crazy to me that's so crazy i hate a lot about myself like i'm even this is like

i'm not kidding when i'm like i hate my face like even when i'm watching the thing like oh god my nose or Oh, God, there's a lot I don't like about. And I relate when you're like, but I'm, I'm, you're confident editing. Right. I'm confident in like my camera skills, but that's it. I wonder if, just to throw out there, just an observation. I wonder if you being so intrigued by editing, which is basically the manipulation of things going together to make something in the flow and to, to, to look perfect from raw footage, I wonder if you enjoy editing so much because you're able to trans. what is the word even transform all of this raw footage into something beautiful yes you know yeah he likes to create and you like being behind the camera and lighting it and making it look beautiful and all this stuff because it's a reflection of your own insecurities about yourself you want to make the world look prettier because you don't feel pretty you know you're a fucking therapist that is so crazy what's yours I'm just trying to you know what's mine yeah he's a star baby my my insecurity

I don't know at the moment But I'm riddled with them You know, it's just in the moment I'm not in the mindset to I know yours was just so profound about them I was like I wonder if you had one about you too Well I know well While he ponderes on his insecurities

Oh my God We know yours What? Well I know yours What is yours? What? Baldness Oh yeah

And I feel like that's a very intense thing for me Yeah I just hate watching it recede So yeah I went to a doctor And had I not got on the finesteride that I got on, which is the hair pill that a lot of people get on to preserve the hair follicles from leaving, I probably would have done the surgery. It's really filled out. I haven't grown new follicles. And here's the thing that's so frustrating. So I've been on these hair pills forever, right? Thank God, because my hair was going to. And I was like, if I lose my hair, I have to get ripped. Like, I can't be bald and chubby. Is this rude of us? I'm the fattest guy here by four.

I'm the baldest guy here by far. No, you are bald by choice. You have hair. Yeah, I can see that coming through. I can see the 5 o'clock shadow. What are you talking about? Okay, how about this, Chris? Get some really close up shots in my hair and see the follicle density on top.

Wait, wait, wait. Around the sides. If I don't cut my hair in five days, it looks like I got a donut run out my head. Listen, I love you so much and I want you happy, right? And he would always say, like, I don't care if I go bald. And in my head, I'm like, okay, good. He's going to go bald. so then I'm going to feel like he's skinny but he's bald and I'm big but I have hair

and this is like a good like balance and then your hair started growing so fast after you took the pills and I'm like damn it I can't have anything stop and this isn't sponsored by those pills by the way no it's not so okay but I feel like you have to have one one insecurity I feel like people don't like me what and I feel like they're going to leave me that's so sad wait is that real mean kind of a little bit maybe because i'm one of these dudes that's only had like one solid friend for periods of time i'd like not big groups or pretty much walked around by myself for the last two years of school but i was cool with everybody you know so i'd find little pockets of people to hang out with but i just kind of felt like nobody wanted to hang out with me you know and i think

throughout life it's made me just feel like uh i'm always on the verge of not being cool with somebody or I'm always on the verge of like bug I feel like I bug people more than I probably don't bug people sometimes but I mean it's like I deal with it but I don't I just minimize who I fuck with you know wait okay I always thought you were the one who like was popular you're always going to like you know cool places on the weekends and you always just you were so good at that and I was never good at that so that's so crazy you know I did have friends but it was never I As a redhead, you're kind of neutral with everybody, you know, because where we went to school, white people were like the minority by far, you know what I'm saying, in Long Beach.

But, and there was a lot of, like, I don't know, there's a lot of tension everywhere, I guess. But I was cool with everybody, but I only had, like, two or three friends that I hung out with. But then the last two years, I only had, like, two friends that didn't even go to the same high school as me. That's who I'd go out with. But, I mean, I don't know. I don't like harbor on it and wish I went to more parties or not. nothing but wow well uh but i wasn't popular but i was can i was happy with the moment i guess you know but in life right now you i mean do you still feel that way like you feel like

i mean i guess i guess i kind of feel that way at the moment too like i don't i wouldn't say i have many friends i was going to say this is getting dark it's hard to make friends the older you get like real friends and in l.a yeah like i had a moment where I had a lot of friends, like I'd say every five years I'll kind of have a group of friends and then, you know, life changes and stuff and you get into a different relationship and all those things. And it's not always dramatic. It just kind of is what it is. And I'd say right now it's definitely a weird point where like, I don't know. Well, I mean, it's not really fair because our life, I mean, our lives were flipped upside down. So it. I think though by

there was a study done where a human being can only really maintain around. on five to seven meaningful relationships. After that, it becomes just associates of yours that you can't really fully create a bond with. So I don't think we're meant to have, like, some say that we're meant to live in, like, villages of 100 people, and that's really it, and that's how we thrive the best and through looking back at time, but I don't think we're meant to have, like, a shitload of friends.

I think we're supposed to have a core circle of friends, and that's how it goes. So I got maybe, like, two to three friends right now that I even talk to. Wow, that's good. Yeah, I would say it's pretty good. At most, and I work with two of them, you know? Same. Wow, we'll just know that we love you, and we're not going to leave you. And all the chasers in the audience, they love you, too.

Dude, even with my sweaty, nasty, smell, and balls, which, by the way, I could really use a solution for. Okay, so I have some conspiracies. I have a couple really stupid ones. I'm going to go by him real fast. I don't quite understand this theory, and the only reason I picked this was because a lot of people on Instagram were asking me to talk about it. But also, I remember you told me about this like six years ago. So I googled it, and I found some pictures that shook me a little bit.

So there is a theory. There is a theory that mountains are actually trees. What? I don't understand. Now, listen, I know it does not make sense. What do you mean? but there is a theory that mountains are actually from a long time ago huge trees that were cut down or something doesn't really make sense but if you're if you're listening to the audio google this google these pictures really fast of mountains that look like trees uh chris can you pull these pictures up for uh for rylan and uh jared flat top mountain or tree stump oh look at that shit look at the one on the left that's a fucking cut down tree are you serious okay okay okay so not all mountains but some mountains real

quick. What? So what I'm looking at right now, I'm not going to fuck with myself and act like I don't know that the thing on the right is a picture of a tree trunk. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no. Okay, so that is a tree trunk. Yes. It's the compared.

Okay. And on the left is the thing on the left is what we are saying could potentially be an old tree trunk. Uh-huh. Chris, go to the next one. Yep. Okay. Are you serious with that one? On the left.

The mountain. On the right, the tree trunk. It literally looks like a ripped down tree. serious. I'm not saying it's not fact, but I'm saying I thought you meant like all mountains period. Yes. No. I think some like I think in wonky cases, yes. And then over time debris build up. Okay. But what was the actual theory? Do you remember this? Yes. The actual theory is that mountains are the remnants of old ancestral trees that were far, thousands of times larger than trees today. And the real bulk of the theory actually,

was that trees don't exist and all we have today are very small if anything just bushes compared to what once were trees and that actual trees are as big as what we're looking at right here which would be like a fucking mountain so why did they cut down the big trees I mean and what kind of machinery did they use to cut them down I don't I mean were we all giant well okay first off looking at the picture I'm looking at that doesn't look like something that was cut down just like the thing on the right looks like something was destroyed. Wow. So it could have been comets, it could have been meteor showers that happened that came down

and blasted these fucking trees. I feel like I also heard someone talking about how some mountains are trees that have fallen over and like, you know, fossilize themselves. However, in looking and doing just a little bit of research, it seems as though what mountains are are the plates of the earth that have actually pushed together in the crust that have created these mountain ranges. So maybe there's different types of mountains. I'm very convinced mountains are real and mountains.

And that you guys are like going to get the reaction Sherry Shepard did when she said the earth is flat on the view. I just don't understand the theory. I can look at those pictures and say those are fucking trees. Those are not mountains. Those are trees. But I don't understand the theory. Is the theory that we were all giants at some point is a theory that we all used to have

these huge like avatar trees of life and they were ripped down and hidden from our. history like I don't quite understand here's the theory okay some trees look like mountains okay now Jared I know that you're not a believer in the Mandela effect not at all okay which is interesting because it honestly it gives you more like credibility as a conspiracy theorist because you don't believe all of them and I would say the Mandela effect is the most widely believed one and you're like is that a conspiracy theory I thought it's a Mandela effect Well, the idea is a conspiracy. Yeah, the idea that there is such thing as a Mandela Effect as something changing throughout time in our remembrance.

Now, listen, I kind of believe in them. Like, I get those moments where I'm like, whoa, that's totally different than what I remembered. But recently, I saw this and I was pissed. I was like, no, this is fucking not real. So I just airdropped it to you. And you guys can Google this if you're listening. Fruit of the Loom. Okay.

Chris, can you open that? Exhibit A. Which is the right one? The one on the left? See, I don't remember their logo enough. Okay, to my point, okay, why I don't believe in the Mandela effect, how many times in my life have I looked at a Fruit of the Loom logo and actually cared enough to, because it's not about listening or seeing things, it's about what you retain.

Like when people say, were you listening? It's like, yeah, but I wasn't retaining, you know? But I would just based off of pure guess, I would say number I would say the one of the left because is the brown thing the loom The one on the left, right? Because is that the loom?

That's what Chris said? One on the left. But is it what the one on the right? Well, my thing with the Mandela effect is, oh, that's better idea. You're ruining the game. Okay, which one round do you think it is? Okay, everybody thinks it's the one on the left, right?

Yes. Boom, it's not. It's the one on the right. Okay, now for the real, does anybody feel different about anything now? Literally, I screamed out loud when I saw the yesterday. And I was pissed. And I ran to get my underwear and I was like looking for underwear.

And I was like, this can't be real. I remember the cornucopia. I remember that brown thing behind the fruit. Like I specifically remember like that was there. And it's for some reason also. But do you guys remember it or does it just seem like a better option when presented now? I remember it. Okay.

I have one for you that I'm curious on what you'll think. Okay. Because I love it when people present these to me. For this, I don't know. I kind of chalk it up to I don't care enough. about Fruit of the Loom to remember what it looks like. However, fruit loops. How is Fruit Loops spelled?

I can't even envision the box in my head. I think it's Fruit, F-R-U-I-T, Loops, L-O-O-O-P-S. Okay, now look at, now, Chris, go to a image of fruit loops. Of the box would be ideal. Shut up. Oh. No. Okay, okay. Now, you can have a moment with it if you need, right?

And freak out. that's totally fine but let me let me make something very clear fruit loops because someone someone told this to me and for a brief millisecond i thought that's crazy because i would have also thought it was spelled like fruit uh-huh but let's actually look at the fruit and the loops it would make no logistical sense for them to use a u and i when they can utilize the o's as the shape of the cereals to spell fruit and loops if it was a u and i how could they put the

cereal there. If you're a marketing person, this is also a fun way to spell fruit because the cereal is not made with real fruit. It's just fruit flavored. So I couldn't imagine that you'd have a marketing team and not one person would think, hey, we should probably spell both of the words with the O's. Yeah, it's genius. So we can have the cereals. So like it's crazy to think, yeah, maybe it's different than you thought, but it's pretty logical that they did it like this. I don't know. I think you're justifying. And that's what I mean, though. If you showed me the two options, I'd probably that's what I mean. It's like whatever one you're looking at visually seems like the better idea is the one you're going to pick. So maybe this is a challenge to present me a

Mandela effect that actually makes me think something. Okay. In the comments, if you have a Mandela effect that you think is undeniable, let us know because I want to shake him. I want him to see what I see. I want him to feel what I feel because your whole thought process is we're all just believing things wrong, right? Yeah. I think it's an easy trick. I think it's a good magic trick for people to get mind fucked a little bit. But no. Okay. I also want to say there's a new scam going on on YouTube that has been pissing me off. It looks like Elon Musk. Oh, is live. It looks like Elon Musk is live. I haven't fallen for it. Or Dave Chappelle is live. And you click on it because you're like, oh my God, wait, T. And it's literally not real. It's like an old clip of them on

Zoom or something. But in the bottom, it's like Elon Musk is given away a million Bitcoins. Just send your bit address to this bit address or whatever. And I literally was going to do it. it because I was like he would do something crazy like that and like give me a million dollars so I like started to do it and then something was like don't do that and then I realized oh my god it's a scam and now every day all day he'll he's live I got to give it to these scammers though it's really really good the way they do it because I saw one that was Dave Chappelle yes and it's a Dave Chappelle yes and it's a Dave Chappelle yes and then you go in and he's talking I'm thinking okay I have no way to distinguish whether or not this is live. But then they start talking about the Connor McGregor and Mayweather fight and they're talking about how excited they are for it.

And I'm like, wait a second. That should happen like eight years ago. You know, I'm like, wait, am I like so looped out of, am I so out of the loop that I don't know they're like rematching? So then I started Googling when is the next one happened and there's not one. And I realized I've been bumfuzzled

and I'm watching the wrong fucking thing. It's not even live. Well, you were a part of a scam at one point. Yeah. you conducted a scam okay so here's the deal at one point in life i was transitioning and i had had my own business at one point and i needed to go get a job and by trade i do sales that's pretty much i didn't go to school for anything i don't have any real talents uh work wise except for sales so i applied to a job and it was a golden silver sales position i figured fuck it can't be much easier than it's

gold and silver. So I go into this office. It's in Beverly Hills. Super nice. It's on like the seventh floor. Overlooking the city. It's beautiful. They have me in this huge glass room interviewing me. Every single station has a Mac, not a Mac book, but it has the Mac Air desktop. Wow. So I mean, a lot of money going on here, right? And they're talking about how they've done a billion dollars in sales this year and all this stuff and these high commissions the people are making. Now going in with my goal being, to find a position to make money, this is all sounding very appealing to me. So I get the job and I go in the next day for training.

And the first day in training, what they do is they start showing us videos of people in Venezuela that are like fucking burning money because it doesn't have any value. You know, it's like in Venezuela, inflation is so high that it costs a billion dollars for a cup of coffee. Fiat currency is worthless. If all you have is paper money, then you're pretty much poor. and unless you have an asset like gold, silver, a precious metal, then you don't have anything universally worth anything, right?

I'm in so far. Right? So they're talking about all that stuff and they're going into how there's a lot of older people out there that have all their money tied up in things like the stock market and bonds, things that could at any point crash if the economy goes to shit, you know? And they're just talking a lot of Republican values at the same time. it's all very republican very fox news you know so the first week is all training and basically just ingraining in our heads that the economy is going to collapse at any second and the only way to

really save yourself against that would be gold and silver okay so in a scenario like this for those of you that have maybe never seen or never been around a sales environment it's a lot of people making phone calls and there's a structure to it so you have somebody that calls the prospect which is who you're trying to sell a product to in this situation it was a cold call so somebody that didn't want the phone call, you know, and you had to basically butter them up to get them excited about what you're trying to present to them. So this company, they had a whole script that they wanted you to say. And they didn't really tell you a lot of why you were saying certain things. But the first thing that you would say is, you know, like let's say I'm talking

to Chris. I say, hello, Chris. And then, hey, hey, have you heard about the big news, right? And, oh, what's the big news? Well, the big news is Donald Trump said today that if Joe Biden and ends up winning the presidency that the economy is going to crash. And we haven't seen anything like this since the 2008 financial crisis. Were you invested in the stock market in the 2008 financial crisis? They'd be like, yeah, I lost a lot. Well, I'm so glad I called you today, Chris, because the whole goal of this call, Fox News actually asked us to do some surveys for them.

But hearing what I've heard so far, I just want to go right into it is I have the opportunity to save you from another tragedy like that. Let me just ask you, Chris, if you woke up. tomorrow and all your money in the stock market was gone what would tomorrow look like for you i would just hang up at this point okay but pretend you're 80 but this is the thing though this is the thing though right so i'm just giving you the hook yes right and the hook is we already know all of these people or they already know because they've done very strategic planning to all these people are republican they're older they have retirement accounts they have x amount in the bank so you're just

working off of the emotion and every morning they had a meeting where you know they'd people would stand around and they'll get all hyped up and they tell you what to say on the phone and I just really like the energy of it and I'm a sales guy so I was like wow there's a lot of good sales going on here you know a lot of the good salesmanship it's like watching actors you know like you're not judging them personally it's wow look at the craft so but they really don't tell you a whole lot about what they do there you know you're just selling gold because the process is someone that opens the phone call once I get a person to the point that they're interested in really learning more then it would be passed off to like a senior associate it oh my gosh so I would get someone to the

point so I would keep talking with them and you would throw out little triggers for them like you know just real quick what do you think about Nancy Pelosi you know and these people would go fucking ape shit oh this you know whatever that it's like yeah man you know can you believe that Donald Trump doesn't have any of his money in the stock market and he'd be like he doesn't know that he has it all in gold you know like and I could go on and on and tell you like fun little like sayings that we used to say but once it got to the point where I would say let me ask you a question what did you do for a living oh I was a truck driver how long did you do that for 25 years so obviously you're a very smart man Chris where did you put all that money in an IRA

in a 401k and then you would tell me and I would say well this is what I would highly recommend we do we get a specialist on the line that's going to tell you how to really secure that those funds for yourself and then by that point somebody else would be on the phone they'd be listening because i've already i've told them hey i got somebody and then that person gets on the phone and they're like hey chris and it could be a 25 year old kid that just knows that sounding like an old guy that like you know smoke cigarette like so it's a lot of people with these fake personas but like hey chris man god bless you and i feel so fortunate to be talking to you you know like depending on what they've heard in the conversation but the goal is and it's so fucked

up and I actually quit once I really found out what they were doing there, you know. So let's say I have a million, Chris, you have a million dollars in a retirement account right now. I'm going to tell you that you should put it all into gold or at least half of it. So let's say, let's just say all of it though. So a million dollars in gold. They would take it if you were willing to do it. What they're going to do is when it comes to gold and silver, there's the spot price. Are you, any of you guys familiar with spot price? So spot price is how much you can get by weight for that goal. So right now one ounce of gold is probably worth around $1900. So if you had gold, you'd take it to the pawn store, they're going to give you the spot price for it. And that's how much you would buy it for

if it was raw. So, but what they would do at this place is they would buy raw material and they would print their own coins. So when you print your own coins, it makes it rare. And by definition, a rare coin should be worth more money. You know, like if you get a 1929 gold coin that has something specific on it, it could be worth a million dollars. Okay. So that coin, it's worth a lot more than the spot price because of the value behind the the rarity of that coin so this company would print their own coins they would say that they're they're very rare and for your million dollars they would give you around four hundred thousand dollars worth of gold in their rare coins they deemed to be worth a million dollars so once you actually got the gold into the

safe or wherever that we decided to have the place because most people don't want a million dollars of fucking gold in their backyard, then basically you would call the spot and say, hey, I just wanted to make sure for insurance purposes, I get the right amount insured. How much money do I have in my safe? Or how much worth of gold do I have? And they would tell these people, oh, well, you have like $400,000, Chris? And wait a second, dude. I just dumped a million dollars out of my retirement account.

And you're telling me I only have $400,000? They'd be like, well, yeah, that's the spot price. But then, of course, they would call back and these fucking conards would just, tell them, well, no, they don't know what they're talking about, you know, like, they don't know the nuance of the coin. They don't know that it's numismatic and is rare and there's only 10,000 of them. Take it to the store and try to sell it. That's what I'm getting today, though. Yeah, but I mean, they made it, they manipulated the market to make it a scarce coin. It was literally like a metals.com, which was the company coin that they made. Oh, my gosh. So you didn't

know. So when did you find out that's what they were doing? It was about a month in. I only worked there for about six weeks or so, but it was about a month in when I found And then after that, I only stayed because I want to clear out my cycle, but I never, I would try to deflect sales when I was talking to people. I would try to avoid, but at one point they got to where they would just automatically transfer my calls over because they knew that it was a good person. They knew that I was kind of fucking it up a little bit. So they would just transfer the calls. But they tried to keep me. I told them I was going to quit and they tried to get me on board and they said that, you know, whatever I wanted, just what could we do here to keep you?

and I was just not into it. So how are they, how is that a leak, not illegal? It is very illegal. That company, uh, they have several names, Chase Metals, Metals.com, barracks capital. There's a hundred, 100 names that they use. Oh my God, exposing him. But, uh, no, it's, it's not, not exposed. The government, the FBI came in and shut them down and seized all their accounts.

And now they're, what? They defrauded about 1,200 people out of $185 million. Wow. Oh, my God. And it's like, to me, it's a very important story to tell. actually because there's so many people that called in because their grandparents. So they're no longer... Lost all of their money because these grandparents, they worked their whole life to save money for their grandkids.

And now their grandkids are calling like, yo, why did my grandma just call me and telling me that you guys took, you know, a half a million dollars and now it's whittled down? Because gold can go up and down too, you know? And now it's worth like $80,000. And my grandma is susceptible to scams. Like people call her all the time and my mom's like, don't answer your phone. She hasn't gotten scammed by a big thing like this yet. there has been like I mean there's been little pitfalls where she like she's she buys another

insurance policy where she like is insured so then she's paying double insurance and has no idea that she's doing it. Didn't you even say that like one of the morning meetings they were like specifically trying to get you guys to call widows or like old people that their husbands died or something? Yeah. I mean it gets pretty fucked up but but they they have. an algorithm in place where the top, top leads are widows over the age of like 75. That is so... Because the thing is, after a certain age, if you're able to get somebody riled up enough and you might be the only person they've talked to in the past couple weeks.

Oh, my God. You know? So you can really forge a very fast relationship with them and work off with the emotions, you know? But again, like, and I used to tell people what I did, and they didn't know it was bullshit and they were in like after i explained it to them and about gold because i want to be the best at what i'm doing so i learned as much as i could about gold so i could talk on the phones with these people but i kind of knew it was bullshit a few days in because i made a sale to some guy but it was only for like five coins off of the website the guy had to get a PayPal account

just to pay for it on the website and when i told them about it they said oh dude just kick that aside we don't care about that i was like why wouldn't we care about a potential customer you know but it's because this was like a 50 year old guy that you know like he wasn't even eligible to dump his retirement yet how do these people the the people that created this that are running the cult sleep at night that is so crazy are you not afraid of them like coming after you for talking about this hell no you know it's like what because if they i didn't just say anything that you couldn't find in an article that was written and posted online if you look up i think the best article if you really want to look it up look up the wolf of the new wolf of wall street is an

ig influencer and it'll take you to an article that goes over everything i just said i mean you could find like the scripts that they were using online people posted them and this is another thing just to warn everybody there's a website called trust pilot are you familiar by chance after we've been scammed in like housing appliance people from warranty companies so so the thing about the scam industry is it's built around assurance. So if a company like the one I just told you about, if you're worried about reviews and all this stuff, there's a website devoted to scam artists that want to have a bunch of good reviews. So they'll just generate as many positive reviews as you need and they'll make sure that you maintain a five-star rating. Even if people go on the

website and have a bad rating, they'll just ghost it and then they'll maintain your high rating. So when you tell people, hey, you don't think that we're legit, go on trust pilot, you know. that was created for people like you so they could have the reassurance and know that they're dealing with respectful, you know, integrity-driven companies or whatever you're saying. But so there's websites out there just created to be bullshit review sites. Are you saying trust pilots, one of them? Yeah. And I mean, it's kind of like hide-in-plane site trust, you know, pilot.

Like, you definitely don't want to trust them. It's all bullshit reviews. That sucks. So how can you tell who is a scam and who is it? Well, no, if you were to, this is the thing. they're trying to prey on older senior citizens that they almost feel bad if they let you down after you've hooked them you know what i'm saying so like they're going to be incognitive dissonance they're going to see negative reviews and assume that well yeah that was somebody else maybe

they'll still get a lot of the people they see those negative reviews right and they also like they pressure them into it you know like i never was a part of a phone call that went that far with the pressure but they used to say literal stuff like i had a i had to like push the pain on that one or like I had inflict pain on that one or you know stuff like that and it was pretty fucking rough you know that's why again I just quit at one point but uh it's very important for people to know whenever you're getting a phone call whenever you get an email do as much much research as you can and if you find one negative thing on it don't fucking trust it you know because if if i'm bullshit and you're smart enough to know that you're going to google me and I want to make sure

I control what you see about me, you know, so that's, well, yeah, thank you for that terrifying story. And, um, hey, welcome to the extended audio version of this show. Now, I wanted to do something special for audio listeners because I feel like you guys are, you know, extra supportive because it's harder to find the podcast. You got to go on your fucking podcast app. It's annoying. So I want to give you guys something nice.

So for every episode, I'm going to try to. add, you know, 15, 20, 30 minutes of just bonus stuff that I cut out of the video version. So, yeah, hopefully you enjoy it. And that's it. Okay, I'm going to go. Oh, this is awkward. Okay, I'm going to go. Okay, have fun.

Bye. And it was kind of a chubby Mexican, dude, Chris. You really liked him. Oh, my gosh. He was a gordito. It's your favoriteo. Um, gourdito. Well, so, yeah, what would your only fans,

be if you're not going to do gross stuff. Oh, I mean, it could be gross, but it's just not going to be like sexually gross, you know? Because I don't know. What else do people do? Is there only fans of people not just having sex or, like, masturbating? I think they're pivoting. They're trying to not be just sexualized content. They're just like a paid platform now, like Patreon.

Chris, I know what your only fan should be. Okay. Okay, you should do like POV. like at the camera saying things like damn oh i love your belly oh like eat more like you're so sexy when you eat like stuff like that uploaded is a problem i'm just thinking of things that i wish you would say to me like damn ooh like you know what i mean is that why you say it to me some of what you said was true what what if we got like a gun that shot marshmallows and you shot him at duds

I'm okay with that. That'd be cool. What? That seems very like, uh, demeaning. It's only demeaning if they don't want it to happen. I mean, they don't throw getting a marshmallow shot at your stomach. I'd be into it. I'll do it with you.

Okay. That's our first only fans video. It's a collab. Yes. My first collab. There is, guys. Limited time off for $5.99. Um, okay.

Now we're going to get into some anonymous, controversial opinions. I went on the at Chained Austin podcast Instagram account. And I asked not only for your guys's anonymous controversial opinions, but I asked you to send them in voice memo form. And I would use a voice changer on them to ensure your identity is kept a secret. Now, some of you guys said it was fine to use your voice. So there are some in here that do have the people's voices. Are we ready? Should we start?

Let's start kind of soft. What do you think? That's how I always start. Okay, here we go. Let's turn soft. My controversial opinion is that Oprah seems kind of like a bitch. Everyone really loves her, and I even feel bad saying that. But I don't know.

That's my controversial opinion. It sounds like a creepy anonymous video. But like, really, like the one with the V for Vendetta mask? Yes. It's like, on May 20 minutes. We're coming for you. Shane did the voice changer. So his controversial opinion is,

is Oprah's kind of a bitch? Yes. Yeah. You know, be a bitch, Oprah, if you want. You deserve it. I agree. Be a bitch. I agree.

Listen. You can't be the richest fucking woman on the planet and not be a boss. Yes. I agree. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if she's an awful person, but I'm sure to reach that sort of stature in life, you have to have purpose and direction, which she has a lot of. And, you know, just to clarify, I don't think she's a bitch.

but guess what you know she gets her boss bitch on a little bit i'm mad at that i'm sure she's not if she got to be firm if she got to be you know aggressive in a moment okay that's cool she's open do it yeah i'm sure she knows how to fire someone about that i guess you know exactly okay okay here we go hi Shane um fat animals aren't cute they're not chunky boys I think it's animal abuse if you let your animals get fat it's disgusting and people who do it should have their animals taken away from them. What? I think I agree.

I do have, okay, how about this? Two-parter. A picture of a fat animal can be cute. Chunky boy all the way. But I want to know that this animal is under a dietary plan that's going to allow it to get to a healthy weight at some point. Okay. Like I see some dogs where it's like

their bellies are rubbing against the ground but you could hear him breathing fucking a mile away because you know, like I don't I don't think anything is cute about that. That's like every pug though. That's just they have breathing. And yeah,

and they have issues. And it's even sadder when you've seen pugs like I've seen that weigh like 30 pounds and they look like a balloon with a pug face on it, you know? I think, listen, as somebody who has animals who people have called fat. Well, and that's what I mean. She's pretty stern in her opinion.

So I'm thinking she must be encountering a family member with a really overweight animal because I do get triggered when people are like, honey's fat and I take her to the vet and the vet says she's in the middle of the healthy range for her body. I think she's talking about really fat animals and that is really sad because the animal's going to eat when you put food in front

of it like that's animal loves food. I love food. So if you just keep feeding the animal they're going to get bigger and bigger and bigger and they can't stop eating it and then they die because like they can't literally handle it. It's just sad. So like I actually agree. That sounds I thought we were just saying if the animal's like

slightly junkie or something. I don't think I think you're talking about really fat. But the reason I recorded it was because it reminded me of, didn't you have, so we both used to work at Jen and Craig. Side note. Yes. We were chubby buddies. I'm going to stay in a fat animals. We're all animals, man.

That's not what it meant. I don't know what it meant. I don't know what it meant. But, no, didn't you have a client who, like, had a morbidly obese dog that he'd bring in and then he would like share the Jenny Craig food with the dog or something? No. Oh, I think I do. Yeah, that's the same guy that I believe said he worked at Area 51.

I believe him. Why not? You know, he knew something we don't. But yeah, fat I don't remember the last time I encountered someone like praising a fat animal, but it is, it's fucked up. You know what I mean? They're not happy. You know, there's no chubby chasers in the

animal community. They're all strictly after who could reproduce the most efficiently. And fed animals not offered that. Okay, go ahead. Okay. Okay. This one's a little long, but trust me, it's worth it.

Because this one, I full-heartedly agree with. Hi, Shane. I hope you use my controversial take here. But my controversial take is I think there should be more restrictions on people with children and less restrictions on people with dogs. I mean, come on, you go and you rent an apartment and you got a kid, but they don't ask for a deposit for your kid, but you got a dog and they want to charge you all this money or go to a hotel or an Airbnb and they want to charge you for your dog, but they never charge you for your children. I think it should be all the other way around. I mean, you got a dog with you.

Yeah, okay, maybe they have an accident. They pee or they poop or something. Easy cleanup, boom. But you got a child with you, like a two-year-old, three-year-old. That child is not only going to just shit on the floor or shit on the wall. wall. They're going to smear it all over the wall and write F you and their shit all over the wall. So you know what? Why do I have to pay a deposit for my dog, but not for your fucking child? That's just crazy to me. And taxes. I'm sorry. I mean, he got cut off there, but.

In all fairness, I mean, is it a common occurrence that babies shit all over walls? I mean, he did use a pretty extreme case, you know? I mean, listen, I agree, though. I think it's not fair. Like, if you're a single, woman and you have a couple cats you got to spend an extra what 300 bucks or whatever a month on your rent because you have a couple cats but if you're a lady who has three kids you don't have to spend any extra and your kids could be fucking shit up and throwing shit and chewing on the walls and doing everything that a dog would do yeah and I would say like I think being consistent would be nice but you can't tell how anyone's a parent to an animal or a child like I don't think our dog chito would scratch some furniture maybe he scratches my furniture and i chase him i'm like

chito stop okay this isn't really a controversial opinion i just it like shook my brain when i heard this why do we get in a car but on a bus i don't know uh that is interesting i would say because when you start sitting into a car you're already forming your body into the shape of the seat. You know, you're like getting into the car, where if you've ever taken a bus, you step on to the bus. You actually do physically step onto the bus and you don't sit down until you found your row.

But I wonder if any bus drivers say, get in. That's true. But also the English language is just weird. There's a lot of things like that in the English language. I don't know. Get in a bus. Get on the bus. Get in the car.

Get on the car. Yeah, it literally doesn't make sense. You would never get on the car. Yeah, I mean. unless you're getting on top of the car, which I've done it. Okay. Um, all right. Yeah, there you go.

That was one. All right, you guys, hope you had fun with whatever this was, and we will see you next time. Uh, and hey, chasers, leave Chris alone. He has a boyfriend. Hit me up. Come on. Hey. Uh-huh.

Bye. You know, I'm going to