The Shane Dawson Podcast - 🧠Mind Warping Conspiracy Theories!🌀

Episode Date: August 15, 2022

In this episode Shane and the boys have their FIRST GUEST EVER! They also reveal some of the most embarrassing moments from their teens and they talk about what Chris and Jerid do when Shane and Ryland aren’t around! Throw in a moment of Shane and Chris making each other cry and the biggest “Conspiracy Corner” update EVER and you have yourself an A+ time on the couch! College style! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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slash c-o-n-t-r-o-l for your free trial that's aura dot com slash control are we gonna barbecue after this we got a burbuchar we got a burbuchar we got surre it's been hard for me to fucking focus to be honest Chris would eat a sausage do you think like do you have a moment where you like

think it's a dick? Sometimes. What? Ha! Ha! I knew it. It's hard not to. It's weird, right?

Especially sausages, because they're like thick. And also, I have this weird thing in my head where I'm always, like, terrified of, like, offending straight people around me. So, like, sometimes I'll eat, like, a banana or a hot dog, and I'm like, oh, I don't want to make it gay. Like, I just have weird thoughts like that. Oh my god. That makes no sense. Bro, I get a hot dog, and I just shove that shit down my fuck. I don't even give a fuck, bro.

Hell yeah. Like, because if you're looking at it and you're turned on, you're welcome. welcome you're looking at it and you're grossed out I don't give a fuck you know what I mean but I'm not going to adjust the way I eat my nanny that's a banana my nana I'm not going to adjust the way I eat a popsicle

none of that shit are you deep-throating those things if I want dog on the loose dog on the loose oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh Oh fuck. It's okay come on. Oh my god. Oh my god, you're our first guest. Hey. And you're really being difficult. Typical guest. I didn't want to have guests. Yeah. Okay, come here, Harley.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Okay, well, shake the donut for her. Come on, Daddy has to shake the donut for you, baby. Oh, no. She's like, I didn't sign up to be a stage. Dog. Look at the donut. Um, wait, are we filming? Call her name, Chris, so she can, she looks over at the camera. Or get her attention. Harley!

Oh, the most gorgeous girl in the whole world. Why does she make me want to cry? Look at her. Oh, my God. She's so cute. Oh. Okay, guys, hi, everyone. Thank you for coming to whatever the hell this is.

Seriously, because like, what is this? This is our new puppy Harley. We just got her last night. night and um it's been a lot no she's adjusting pretty well for the first night she slept with us and it was really fun come on you can make the jump go over there oh my little princess yeah so we uh there's a lot going on right now jerry's a wig on we haven't even dressed that it's okay it's okay i'm waiting in the wings chris your alpaca i didn't dress your alpaca today oh no i'm all over the place how is she doing good she just

wants my headphone cords, but, you know, it's been interesting because Golden Retrievers, they have abundant energy, and she wants to eat everything. I relate to half of that. So, hi, this is a very chaotic episode. Strap in, take a pill, have a shot. Take a pill. Well, that's what I did, and you have a shot. Well, I made, like, a pineapple drink out of a Starbucks refresher, so.

No, you're living your gay dad fantasy. That's a little delayed and weird Okay, so first of all You're probably wondering why we're dressed like this And the answer is I have no idea I was just trying to think of a theme And then I was like gay college Polo golf

I can't say that word anymore I got to monetize for saying the F word You did Jared you're wearing a wig Oh, yeah, I'm wearing a wig Um, it's cool You know, often I think what it would feel like to have hair

And it's a lot It's like, I'm thinking about it constantly How is it looking? Is it in my face? Is it in my eyes? It's tickling me. So, uh, it's a lot of maintenance But hopefully it looks cool. You know, I feel good about it. So yeah Well, you look really good. I feel like we all right now are really Um I'm really speechless.

I don't know. This is a lot. Well, how about this? How about this? Okay, because I feel like something happened last night. Whoa. And I don't know if everybody is aware about it. Oh.

There was a lot of scandals last time. Okay? But I think this is my trumpet. Let me just tell you. It was crunchy. There was a lot of sauce, a lot of liquid. It was tasty It was incredibly delicious

I just happened to a toss Chris's salad last night That's a fact I actually we got a tight crunch salad And I uh Okay I helped him toss it with the dressing I see I see wow thank you for that Because I didn't know where that was going And we need one straight person on the podcast

So I got scared Yeah Jared has a weird obsession with tight crunch salads And hey I'm gonna say You're turning me on to them But it's very interesting. Every time we're like, what should we eat? Jerry goes, I don't know.

Just a tight crunch. You eat them three times a day, which I find they're fascinating. Well, I mean, I like them. You know? And if I'm presented with options, you know, I just like to cut it down, tight crunch. No, I love it because I get anxiety when I have to figure out what I'm going to feed everyone. Because when you guys come out, you know, I have to feed you. And, you know, three times a day.

And I have to post me. And then, so last night was stressful. Let me break it down. First of all, we didn't know that we were going to be getting a puppy while you guys were here. Should we explain why we got a puppy? There's a lot we need to catch up on. Look at her. She was so hyper and now she's conned out in my lap.

It might be worth changing the angle just so that they can see the sleeping puppy. I'll film it with my phone. I know. Oh my God. We're so annoying. But she's so much prettier than I am. So I feel like the angle should be her. Oh, my God.

She's literally, you are so fucking ugly compared to her. And she loved. the camera. Every time she sees herself, she starts licking the camera. A little fucking annoying vlog girl. Oh my god, give us home. Let's start at the beginning. Me and Ryland one night. We already have two dogs and a cat. So like we already have, wait, do we have more in that? No, that feels like it. Whoa, that was scary. We have a lot of animals. And Ryland always said he, we're done. No more animals, just alpacas because we're not living in the house.

Although he might change his mind when we get them because like, can you imagine the alpacas in their house? You, Shane is becoming, like, this animal horror. It's, and there's also, like, cats that have graced our lives, like, the opportunity, and he's jumping at it. I'm like, we're maxed out at the moment. We're getting two more cats. No, we're not. Yes, we are. I met them.

And I already named them Gucci and Boots. We weren't looking. We weren't looking, but so we have a friend who just had kittens. And she was like, I had kittens. And I was like, oh, I want to meet them. Bring them over. And Ryan was like, we're not getting more cats. And I'm like, well, I don't know.

I just want to meet them. Maybe bring them over. Of course, she brings them over. We fall in love. I name them Gucci and Boots. They're so cute. They love us. One of them loves me more than him.

One of them loves him more than me. It's a perfect combination. So we're getting them. No. And I thought, oh, we could maybe explore the potential of getting one cat because we do feel like Cheeto does need a friend, but we weren't expecting to meet the kittens and fall in love with two of them. But now we have this new dog. How many kittens were presented to you?

Three. So that's kind of fucked up. So you're like one of them didn't make the cut. Sad ice. Sad eyes. Let me explain. When she had the three kittens, she said one of them is reserved for my friend. And I was like, okay, but she didn't tell us with one.

The one that was reserved stayed in the box and, like, didn't want to meet them. It's like she knew that she had already been reserved. And she was really depressing and her name was sad eyes. She's really cute, but had depression. And like, we can't have another one in the house with me and Chris. But we really do need to separate the two. I can't take on the responsibility of a brand new puppy who is like the world's most crazy thing in the world. I love her so much, but she is a lot.

Like, I'm 24-7 supervision. Okay. Pat your wig. I got to pat it, girl. Wow. Now I get it. I've never been able to relate when I see people like patting their heads. And it's because it's itchy.

It's never been relatable to me, you know, but now it's like, totally good it. Yeah, because if you scratch it. And I actually have a slight bit of a headache almost, so it's like, And it helps with that. Huh. Wow. The more you know. Life heck.

Okay. Back to the animal actually in our life, though. We got sidetracked with the cats. Okay. So boring. Long story short, we were driving around one night. We saw a missing lost dog. We found love with it.

We wanted to steal it. It had an owner. So we found the owner took it back. But then, Rylan's like, we should get a golden retriever. No, I said it wouldn't be the worst thing if we couldn't find its owner. And then we got home. And Shane starts browsing. Anyways, he said he wanted a golden retriever.

I took that. ran with it. I found a golden retriever online. I reserved her. And I was like, are you sure? Do you like this one? And he's like, oh, my God, I love her. And I'm like, great, because I've just reserved her. So it's happening. I didn't have a say in the matter, quite honestly. I was like, oh, I love her. The way it's like it's already happened. It sounded like a group effort to me. The way you laid it out. The thing is I'm the type of person. I would look. But here's the thing about Shane. You give him a little bit of a green light and it's already done. Yeah, but the thing is, there's no such thing is a little bit of a green light. I was exploring the opportunity. But

If it were me, I would have looked for a month and then been like, uh, probably not ready right now. And this is why things never get done with you. Oh, please. I am so efficient. Uh-oh. Here we go again. Uh-oh.

Here we go again. Fight with Shane and Ryland. Fight with Shane and Ryland. Shane and Ryland. Here's the thing, though, this is going to turn into a real fight. And I'm like, do we want to do that right now with our child? What are you talking about? Anyways, she was supposed to arrive soon.

And I didn't time it out correctly. and now the puppy arrived in the middle of us filming podcasts. So last night, we had to go get the puppy from the airport. It was the whole thing. And then Chris and Jared were here at home, which brings us back to the tie crunch salad. It all comes back to the Thai crunch salad. It all comes back to Jared tossing Chris's salad.

I mean, every time. What is tossing a salad actually? I think it's a licking butthole. See, that's why I was trying to say it was crunchy. It was tasty. So there were bumpkins? Because I asked, Chris, because the thing is I have a special way.

I get tight crin salads from a certain place quite often, and I really enjoy them. Are you not giving them promotion? You know what? Nah, nah, nah. I ain't, fuck all that. I'm doing a ditty move right now, you know what I mean? Nah, ain't no one getting that. It gets hair in here.

But, uh, I put a wig on it. Give me, dude. I'm a fucking monster, dude. You are. You're a TikTok star. Yeah, I'm a fucking monster, bro. But, um, so I lost, I almost lost my damn. chan of thought i'm back so i asked chris so you know chris copy me of course and i've been really

promoting the the salad's hard and i asked him if he's a heavy dressing kind of a guy like by by chance riley did you use all of the dressing i started with just a portion and i had to keep adding and then once it was all in just right yeah are heavy dressing oh i fucking my i had a waiter the other day say you want me to bring you a straw with that ranch it was pretty well it was fucking up. And the experience was awful outside of the waiter. And I tipped him like 40% because I have this thing where I want people that are mean to me to like me.

Anyways, continue. Fuck him. But yeah, so I asked him if he liked heavy dressing and then I tossed his salad up and then he loved it. But in my head I was thinking, tomorrow I'm going to say I tossed his salad for this. It was a chess move.

Wow. I felt like the payoff was is that why you said before we started filming, you're like, oh, I have a good thing. something that happened last night. And I did say, and I did say, and it could flop. Wow, I thought it, you killed it. Okay, this is the thing. It was a mediocre cut of meat, and I seasoned the fuck out of it.

You know what I'm saying? Lee, I tried. I have a question. What do you guys do when we're not around? Because you've had a lot of alone moments this week, because me and Ryan have had to be running errands, and we leave you guys alone. I did say, when we were driving to get the puppy yesterday, I said, what do you think Jared and Chris talk about when they're alone to come?

I don't think we actually What the hell do we do? I don't think we really talk I think we kind of do our own thing We did take the Tessie out Ransom Arons That's right And who chooses the tunes

Jared did what we both I think it's okay to say that We enjoy Drake's music Yeah I mean we're Did you test out the new album? Yeah I've listened to it a couple songs When I got stoned last time you were here That is when the album came out

And I only listened to one of the songs But I was real stoned and all I could think of how is how gay it was. Like there was one song in particular. I was like, this just sounds so gay. The way that he's like centrally rapping. I haven't heard the new album. You know, I mean. Did Rylind just call Drake gay?

I didn't call him gay. I don't know if I need that. I said the music sounded like very, I guess I haven't listened to his music in a long time. But the way he rap? Let me ask you a question really quickly. Okay. So when you say it sounded gay, do you mean it sounds like music? music that would be playing when two guys are having sex?

No. Or like, what do you mean when you say it sounded? Jared? The conception of the music and the recording session sounded pretty gay to me. What about? Okay, how about this? Let me boil it down even more.

When you use a different word besides gay. Well, I was a synonym for the word gay right now. I was trying to go find the song that I was listening to. But when I was listening to it, I was like the amount of sensitivity and the way that he's using his voice and the way that the song is produced, it just felt

gay. See, this is where I have a bit of a thing. Okay, so could I say it sounded gay? No. No, you could. Yes, you could. Because that's the whole thing. For generations, men have been calling things gay. For exactly the reason you just said

it. But now it's politically incorrect if someone like me were to say, yo, Drake's new album sounded gay, unless I'm around a bunch of straight dudes that don't care. But, But if I was around, let's say, people that did care, that would be an issue. I was curious. I'm not very...

Let's bring it back. Let's start saying it. It cares, right? Okay, see, and that's weird because that was the feeling, so obviously there's caring. It depends on context. Like we said in one of the first episodes? No. This fights with Jared?

Look what this puppy is done to us. If a straight man walks by you and said... It's all about context. And I'm not saying Drake is gay Like I'm not definitively saying You got a baby I'm saying the one song that I listened to Sounded real gay

Anyways, yes Woof I don't know if Drake fans are like Angry or like intense or I don't I'm not in that community I know he sleeps with a lot of women So this is not like Me Outing someone

Because this is a common consensus And the way I will put it is There's like memes that Drake is soft You know Like Drake that Drake, the type of dude, and that's, like, how they all start. Like, Drake the type of dude to close the fridge with his hip. So I'm, so I'm not off base.

No, I guess the thing was, like, I really enjoyed the fact that you use the word gay like that. It wasn't even a bad thing. I was just, more, more, right? No, because I don't take it offensive. I was stoned out of my mind, and it was just my thought when I was listening to the album. Let's not spread propaganda. Let's not spread propaganda that marijuana makes you homophobic. We could definitely move on.

We could definitely move on. I think we should do some of the Drake memes. I just want to say, though, I don't, I'm not like a, I'm not a Drake person. I've probably only listened to the songs that the radio pushes out of his to me. And I've been to one concert because somebody invited me, but I don't know anything other than that. Drake the type of guy to say easy, peasy lemon squeezy. See, they're fucking, so yeah, so, you know, he's a softie. You know what I mean?

There was one TikTok I loved of a guy saying Drake's old. music and like him looking hard and like rapping and then it was like Drake's new music and I don't know what song was off the new album but it sounded I get what you're saying like something that would play in like a club and weho and he was like vogueing to it and that was like a TikTok so it has gay energy it was sensitive and soft and you know what we should take away the stereotype of like men having to not be so Drake the type of guy that's gonna get dragged Drake the type of guy that say now a silly one when taking group Photos.

We need Drake on the pon. First of all, here's why we need Drake. I don't listen to rap. So, I mean, I'll listen to a gobble, gobble. What was it? I believe that's WAP. Make them gogling. Cardi B?

Yes. We listened to that yesterday, and that was fun. Now, I'm not like a huge rap person. I like Nikki. But with Drake, I love him from DeGrocy. So, like, I want to meet him so fucking bad because of DeGrocy. I love him so much from that show That show means everything

We watched every episode of that show Definitely the six, seven seasons he was in or whatever We watched everyone religiously When he got shot, I cried When he was in a wheelchair I haven't seen that Although I will say Rap is kind of gay

That's what I'm saying And there's a lot of people that are like I've hooked up with rappers Like a lot of gay men Oh Lil Nas says that a lot He's openly gay though I mean it's about other rapper But he says like other straight rapers

And that's the thing Rapping is just like a very sensitive, sensual thing. Not that you, not that that means gay, but there are a lot of gay people that said they've slept with straight wrappers. I have a story, but I don't know if it's offensive. So I'm going to say it anyways. I've been offensive to this whole podcast. Do it. Okay, so I was at the gym.

I used to go to the gym at like two in the morning. So I was at the gym, two in the morning. And I hear this voice behind me. And it's like, yes, bitch. Work queen. Like, come on, get it. And I was just like, oh, man, this is a gay guy behind me who's so loud. And I turn around.

and it was a rapper a big rapper like a big one and I was just like oh my god it was me him and his like you know girlfriend and I was watching them interact like girlfriend and I was watching them interact he's boo thing yes and she was just like they were kicking and like you know doing all that stuff and and hanging out and he was just like yes yes and the next day I asked my trainer I'm like I saw this rapper here you know blank and I'm like is he gay and he's like oh yeah we literally had to hire someone specifically to stay here overnight, a security guard, because we would find this rapper having grinder hookups in the bathroom. What?

Isn't that crazy? How about real quick? I got a story. Well, I should wrap it up so I don't get canceled for this. And then I said, wow, I'm so proud of him. And he's a beautiful soul. And I hope one day he comes out. And even if he doesn't, it's okay on his time.

And what's the status of that rapper? Still in the closet. No, he's, wow. Have you guys ever been in the sauna at 24 hour? Fitness. Okay. Okay. Actually, I do have a story about that. So when I was younger in Long Beach, I had a buddy that worked the midnight shift at like a 24-hour fitness. And he told me that they were hiring and if I came in, that he could possibly get me a job. So I go in there. The managers, they're like, oh, yeah, go walk him around and tell them the duties of the job. And so we're walking. I was like, bro. So I've never really, like, told you what I really got to do here. You know, the worst part of this gig. And I was like, well, dude, you said you just sit here all night and you fucking read and. watch stuff or whatever. He's like, well, about four or five times a night, I do have to go into the sauna and break up orgies, and that's like my main duty. So I have to walk through all, like, all the areas and make sure that nobody is fornicating within the sauna. So that was his thing.

And he said every night, at least three to four times you had to bus up month. Chris is asking which gym? Which gym? It was, it was off of, uh, well, I'm telling you the 24 hour in West Hollywood any time of the day. You can walk into the sauna. You can mosey on in. And then everyone is like, when a new person walks in, it's chill. Everyone covers up. And then about five minutes in, if they sense like, you're gay too, the towels come off.

The guys continue jacking off. What? It's like a sex. Yeah. And everyone knows about it. When I walk in, everybody puts her towels like on it. Shit. It's pretty exclusive to that one, though.

But it was every single time that I went to that gym. Why is nobody tried to fuck me in public? Why? Like, we walked by a bear bar that one night, and all the bears were, like, growling at you and shit. I walked by... I was hearing it. Wait, did that really happen? Yeah, we went to, like, come on my nuts yogurt or, like...

What is that? Like, the names of the yogurt are, like, super weird? There's a pros of yogurt shop that is right next to a gay bar in West Hollywood, and all the flavors are, like, yeah, like, tickle my dick, you know. Vanilla, it doesn't really make sense, but... Big fat load. Oh, big... Blueberry, you know? You can get your topping.

You can get... You can get the toppings, you can get the bottomings. You can get... Oh, I see what you did that. You can get both. Anyway, but nobody's ever... I've had one person try to have sex with me. I was assaulted once.

Wow. This is deep. Sorry, wrong one. Okay, I'll figure that out later. Those worked. So I think it was assault. You weren't there. I actually called you.

You weren't there? Wait, legitimate? Freaking out. It reminds me of when two. Peanuts walked into a bar one was assaulted I'm just kidding okay well let's continue man I'm not trying to take it away dude we're not mean okay I'm not a mean guy can you imagine if your therapist like and then the client reacted like this and I'd say really that big of a deal no who cares I'd say you light in the mood let's go get

pizza do we have enough time for this assault story I'm saying on the on the clock I don't want you to wait Ryan's going for bro He's saying because there's four minutes left. That's why he said. Thank you, Chris. This is why people don't report stuff. These drama queens. People like him.

Like, can you imagine a cop? You go up to them and you're like, oh, my God. And then the cop is always time for this. Go back to every single podcast where we're like, do we have enough time for this story? Because we have to stop every 30 minutes. Oh, I love you. I hate being the villain this week. It's fine.

You deserve to be the victim. Thank you. I've been waiting. Dude, you've been crushing it. And like, this is very well deserved. Thank you. Of course. Of course. I make jokes when I'm uncomfortable.

Anyways. So, yes, it was at the gym. And this girl comes up to me. And she's probably like, I was probably 20, 21, and she was probably like 30. And I turn around and she corners me and it's empty. It's three in the morning. And she corners me and she looks into my eyes. And she was just like, you vaughan the fuck?

And I was just like, what? I don't know. And I'm like sweaty. And I'm like, and then she goes, she takes her hand and cups my dog. dick and balls which which by the way just felt like balls

to her well let me ask you a question though what was her reaction to what she grabbed could you tell was there a change in the vibe or was she like you want to fuck

was the assault her turned off like then she grabs you like or do you fuck me that was so mean but you deserve it you deserve it you deserve it you're the victim

you just deserve it. Thank you. You deserve it. Anyway, so she's cupping my balls and my dick and two minutes. Okay, I'll wrap it up. And wrap it up, baby, boy. And she's doing that. And I'm just looking at her and I'm shook. And I'm like on the verge of tears. It was just so intense. And then she's just like, you von fuck. You von fuck. And I was just like, no, I don't want fuck and whatever. Which by the way, I know, I should be making jokes about this. But yeah, she still wanted to fuck after she felt my grower. I'm just wondering. Well, keep going. So I said, no, no, no. And I, like, took her hand out. And then she got, like, really aggressive. And she, like, cornered me.

And she was just like, why not? Why not? Oh, my God. Yeah. And I was, yeah, it was like 21. I was so scared. And then luckily, somebody else walked down the stairs. And she turned around and she, like, walked away.

And then I went up and I tried to, like, tell the manager. And the manager was like, whoa, what are you talking about? Like, not caring. So high. I called Jared. I was freaking out. I was just like, oh, my God. Somebody just, like, I think assaulted me.

And I don't know what to do. and I was crying in the parking lot. And, yeah, it was really scary. So, so I get, I get why guys are embarrassed to report stuff like that because, you know, everybody laughs at them. But no, it was traumatic. And it took me a while to get over that. And I didn't go to the gym in the middle of the night for a while.

But, but that's the only time. Crazy stuff happens at the middle of the night in the gym. Yeah. And that's the only time somebody's ever, like, flirted with me in public. And they took it too far. That was the point of my story. But in all serious, as people don't report things because half the time nothing gets done about it. That's a whole other thing.

Yeah. Hey, okay, I know this is weird. We're in a different location. I just interrupted the show, but I'm really excited because we have our first sponsor. I'm just really grateful and really excited that somebody wants to support the show. I honestly didn't know if this would ever happen. So the fact that it's happening is just really, really cool. So thank you so much to Buffy.

So Buffy makes award-winning bedding that is soft. you and also on the earth. They specialize in making bedding that is really comfortable, but also keeps you cool. Because for me and Jared, especially when he comes to stay here, he gets really hot because our air conditioning is a nightmare, it's a whole thing. It's really hot in Colorado. So the fact that Buffy sent us some of their bedding and some of their cooling comforters, which are called the Breeze Comfitters, is a huge help. So we're so grateful for them. And I can honestly say that it has helped a lot because, especially with Ryland, I sweat a lot in the bed. Like I wake up in a puddle. That's gross.

Anyways, okay, thank you so much to Buffy for sponsoring this episode and please go check them out because not only are they awesome for wanting to work with us, but they let me use code grower, which. Thank you Buffy. So they're offering a free seven-night at-home trial so you can experience Buffy without committing to actually buying it. The shipping is free and they also give you 100 nights with a free return policy. So for $20 off of your Buffy order, go to Buffy.co and enter code grower. That's Buffy.co, code grower, for $20 off of your Buffy order. So thank you so much, Buffy, for sponsoring this episode. And, yeah, hope you guys enjoy the rest of the show.

Bye. Wait, before we move on, I have a couple more Drake memes. It's a whole episode if we wanted it to be. If I get canceled for this, I swear. There's no way, because the whole thing is the undertone. It's nothing offensive. It's all about the intent. That was my point.

I wasn't, I appreciated the fact you say. I wasn't trying to. Okay, some drink marms. This one. This one's not that funny, but I just like it. Drake the type of guy to clap when the plane lands. That is, man. Yeah, all these things I relate to, which say that it's real game.

Me too. Okay, do you relate to this? Drake the type of guy to say beep, beep, when he needs to get through. Who needs to get through? Him. Beep, beep. When you're in a crowded space and you're like, beep, beep, beep. but what was the quote I don't want to read sorry I didn't get it move on okay um all right

did we ever wrap up the puppy thing we got a puppy that's it right I think yeah and then you even went into that you want to get like way more animals in Rylan super into it right no I'm super against it you guys had a fight about it right but this is the thing open to explore something that means yes to us to me it means yes right this is just a a side note. And I'm just wondering because it's something I want to do. And actually, I want to ask you specifically because you're straight. Somebody texted me a picture of a crumble truck. And it was a truck that was painted Matt, baby pink, and it had said crumble on it. And I had a moment where I was like, why do I want that truck? Do you think it's a good or bad idea for me to get my white truck

painted crumble pink? It's very specific. I mean, I think it's iconic. To say the least, it's very specific, but I think it's about, I don't know. Do you want to do it? What's the the downside to having a crumbled pink truck. He hates attention. I don't like attention. And I've never been a pink person. Like, I've never liked the color pink. But for some reason, that truck, is that A, too gay and B, going to cause people to be like,

oh, who's that in the pink truck? Like, there's pros and cons. Don't not do it because it's too gay. Like, who cares? Okay. Let's go for it paint it. Fuck it. Really?

Okay, let me know. Yeah, let's do it. In the comments below, let me know. Should I paint the truck crumble pink? I'm open to it. Is it actual color to crumble, like, trademark a color of paint? That sounded like you were beating your pussy. I didn't see what that was.

What did you just do? The nose was itchy. I went like that. That got me going. That was nuts. Did we talk about how the two of you match? Your hat matches the jacket. It's like you wanted to do that in a coupley way.

Well, yeah. I mean, listen, I wanted us all to match. I feel like we're all on theme for, you know, douchebag. It's all Ralph Lauren, right? What? Thanks for time of this. Well, I hope Drake is watching, and I hope Drake is like, Drake wears off the guy called me gay.

You know what? I just hope Drake the type of dude to watch this podcast. That'd be great. I like it. Yes, I want him on. Someone make a meme. Drake the type of dude to watch this podcast, and let's get it fucking viral. Because if he is and he should be.

Perfect. I was actually going to ask, because we're all dressed like this, what our college experience was. Oh. Because I feel like we all have very different levels of college experience, and we're all dressed like college idiots. So, uh... Whoa.

What? I just, I was going to say the F word, but I can't. That's what I meant. Uh, Jared. So now they're gay. What was your college? Uh, I only went to college for about a semester and a half. Maybe.

Whoa! Wow! I meant, I meant. Villain move. Villain move. Okay? I didn't mean that. Or, you know, maybe I win for a little bit longer.

Maybe a year. I took a creative writing. class and in that class the one thing that always sticks out a memory is i wrote something and i used the word transportate which okay how about this if i told you i have to transportate some stuff what do you think i mean i'd feel bad well here's the thing okay i don't feel bad because i made up a new word and all of you understood what i was trying to say when i said that word yes right did you did you for one second say what the hell does that mean yeah no it made perfect sense if anything I'm on the edge you're okay so your brain put together a definition for what I just said

yes right so when I got my my creative writing assignment back the teacher circled it and then she gave me a B or whatever for it and I said yeah like why is his word turkled I don't understand this and she said well it's not a word no I said what do you think I meant to say she's like it sounds like you meant to just say transport and I was like did you know what I meant and she said yeah and I was like well isn't that a word letters that went together have a meaning you You know, I was like, bling, bling is in the dictionary. So if I would have used the word bling, bling in my paper, you couldn't have docked me, but you're docking me for something that you understand?

Yeah, why is it? And she said, you know, I'll take that, and she gave me my A. You should be a politician, but that was college. What I was going to say about your use of the new word, transpertate, is why is it when Shakespeare made up words, he was a genius and we all use his words, but when you do it, it's somehow lesser than, or it's somehow, you know? Chris, when people don't understand me, I don't take that as, it means I'm stupid, you You know what I'm saying?

But you know what I mean? Like, Shakespeare did the same thing and we praise them for it. Yeah, actually that, you know what? I'm going to stop making fun of you then. Why? Because you every day make up a word. Oh, hell yeah. And I think at this point, I could do a calendar, like 365 days of Rylan's fake words.

I would buy it. The other day, you didn't. School was not my strong suit. You didn't make up a word, but you did say a word that did not make sense in the sentence. On the phone. And you were on speaker phone with my bookkeeper who helps us with our finances and stuff. And you literally said to her like, well, yeah i'm just trying to like um consummate this no i don't remember what doesn't i mean like have

sex on your courage tonight and she literally laughed and you didn't catch it and then you just kept going and i was like we're all very close why can't anyone just say hey motherfucker that's not a word because it's embarrassing to be like no it's not um that's not the word you're looking no yes i mean but anyways yeah you asked my bookkeeper to consummate something with you so that was weird but you know but that was a word but i'm i'm i'm very notorious for it to the to the point where my rap name literally is upwards because I make upwards. Whoa. Oh. So it's not like a new thing. I always

make up words because the thing is when you're thinking so fast, I can't be limited to the English language. No, yeah, fuck that. You know? I can't limit myself. There's no it, what is it, the Autobahn? Yeah. It's the auto bond in this brain. There's no speed limit. Wow. So sometimes there's not a word that makes sense in this language and I got to just make one up. So Rylan.

And if I pronounce one wrong, it's the auto ban, baby. Ryan, what was your college experience? Ooh, my high school was very, very centered around where you were going to college. Everyone's house you went to, the parents would say, what college are you going to? And I felt backed in a corner to go to college. I never wanted to go to college, but I felt forced. So I did what was the easiest to me. And I had always wanted to live downtown, so I chose the Metropolitan University.

And I went for a semester and a half, and I looked at all of the people around me who were living what seemed to be their best life, dreading, graduating, and having to get a job. And I said, I got to get the fuck out of here. And I just thought, I want to do something I love for a living and not hate my life as soon as I graduate college, because everyone was just drunk. What classes did you take?

Took math, which I was really bad at. That probably didn't help. I think that's one of the fucked up things is when you go to college, and I'm sure it makes sense to a degree and there's a method of the madness, but they make it take all these prerequisites. Right. You know, like, you got to take, You got to take calculus in order to, you know, be a musician.

It's like, man, I didn't even get to my specifics of what my major was going to be. I was taking all the general things that you have to take and I was miserable. What were you trying to be? I was going for hospitality. I thought I was going to be like a Brent Bolt House. If I was going to go through school, it was a Brent Bull House. It was like in the hills, remember Heidi worked for Brent Bolt House where he worked for like a big hotel company and he would manage all of the events and restaurants throughout.

all of the hotel line. So I thought I would do, like, party planning for a huge hotel company or something, which isn't what I wanted to do. I always want to. And that, no, you didn't. And that's why it didn't make sense for me to go anyways. And the other thing I wanted to do was journalism, but I didn't want to do, like, news. I wanted to do entertainment news.

And then I looked around and I said, what am I doing? I'm wasting my time. So I left. And then I was really in debt. And Wells Fargo took, I woke up one day after I moved to L.A., and they took all my money in my bank account to pay off my student loan. Oh, my God. Yeah.

I'm sorry. Chris, did you, uh, did anybody in this room graduate college? I graduated. Nice. Thank you. About to be a roof of a dropout over here. Yeah, whoa. But it was a film school.

I mean, that's a school. Crickets. Okay. Not to demean film schools, but like, you know. It's vocational. It's cool. Film school is like my dream as a kid. I wanted it.

so bad was it so fun did you love it i i did it's interesting because i feel like nowadays it's become really popular for people to like especially filmmakers to say like you absolutely do not need film school and like just talk a lot of crap about it and i understand because there's so many free resources nowadays like on youtube and and all over the place like you're just getting your foot in the door and working your way up yeah there's a million ways especially with film to get into film you absolutely don't have to go to film school so i understand why people say that but they're so negative about it and i i know i wouldn't be where i am in any way if it weren't for film school like just partially from the connections i made but also you can see stuff because i've

always wanted to be a filmmaker that's been my dream my whole life so you can see things that i made prior to and after film school and the quality is insane the things that i learned are invaluable and uh it made a huge huge difference in my life actually it was crazy expensive the money sucks owing all that money sucks i'm still paying for it but uh i don't know i to me was really And I gain so much from it. But I'm also the type of person I can't teach myself. I can't, like, sit there and read something. I'll, like, my ADD, I'll get bored and I'll leave.

So, like, I need a teacher to be, like, listen, this is what we're doing. And do you have the college experience, or were you living at home and working and going to school? I was just working and going to school and never sleeping. And it sucked because a lot of people there, they would go there and they would all have parties afterwards. And I just couldn't because I was either working or had other classes or whatever. And so I didn't get any of that really. But I met, like, amazing people that I'm still friends with now. And, like, yeah, I gained a lot from it.

Wow, I'm so happy you had a good college experience. I was getting nervous. A lot of people love college. And I was the first person to graduate in my family, which meant the world to my family. Yeah. And, yeah, so that was really cool. Well, I'm proud of you. Thank you.

And I went to college for one day. Actually, one hour. And what class was it? What one hour? Literally. Okay, so I went. Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm not used to this

This is too much for me to handle I'm bald I know guys It's fucking crazy I actually feel like I don't know you anymore This feels so fucking good I was so used to you in hair That I'm like shook right now

You're probably 10 degrees cooler Like I've never shaved my legs Have you guys ever shaved your legs? No But I heard if you shave your legs And you jump into a pool It's like a serene experience I feel like I just did that

We should all shave our bodies and get the coozy. Oh, down. A nudie coozy. That would weird. Okay, college. Did you go to college? I don't even, dude, I'm your brother. I don't even know if you went to college.

I went to, okay, so I only applied for one college because we could only afford one application. It was like 50 bucks. Confident. Yes. And I wanted to go there because it's where like Steven Spielberg went and, you know, Long Beach State. Like, I wanted to go there so bad. I got approved, right? Or wait.

Yeah, for sure. You got accepted. I got accepted. And I went to orientation. And I didn't know. At the time, once again, I was, you know, a big boy. A chub. Probably a bear.

A bear. What's bigger than a bear? Well, the big guess would be super chub. A super chub. Wow. Super chub. That one stung. It was a super chub.

And I had on my, you know, super chub pants and super chub outfit on. That's a good name for a clothing line. Super chub. Hold on, writing it up. Edit that out. I'm using it. Sounds college. Okay, so, yeah, so I'm walking around and instantly I'm getting chub rub.

My jeans are rubbing against me. Super chub rub. Yeah, super chub rub. Fucking titanic chub rub. If actually, chub fact, if you don't know what chub rub is, I'm so jealous of you. But chub rub is when you're overweight and you have big legs. I still get it because I still have big legs I don't think anyone's wondering

I wonder what that means chub rub You think that because you've had it So do people I know what it is I'm ignorant damn it I know what it is But I couldn't tell you what it's like I guess people People could only decide that it's chub rubbing against each other

So let's get more in depth So get deeper on the chub So you know Okay so think about my legs Okay Shane calls them his pork chops Don't get out at me Think about my pork chops

So to come with dog's legs Really See and you There my go ahead Um, okay, so think about my legs. Grab a track in. Um, think about my legs. Now, there's like, they, they rub together, right? Like, right under the balls. If the balls are a little shrivel, they're rubbing together. Was that a excited? Chris has taken notice. Chris is taking. No. The picture of that is just like you're, I don't know, even for the limit. Watch it. Uh, so anyways, you're like, I'm learning. Your legs rub together. And, um, it almost creates a fire. Like, it's like the fire sensation. And it literally, are you wearing short shorts? How are they connecting? Because of my fat legs. I'm so confused. Do you want me to show you?

No, if you're wearing shorts, the fabric should stop. I was wearing jeans. Anyways, you guys get it. See, I don't understand. This is chafing, right? Yes, chafing is. I know, right? So my legs are chafing, but it's to a point where it's like causing so much that it's burning.

And when I went to the bathroom to look, it was like burns, like literal burns. And like, they were bubbling up and starting to bleed. And I had been there for 15 minutes. And I was like, okay, this is a problem. So I go to the nurse's office. and she gives me some baby powder. I put the powder in and I'm walking around and it's getting worse and worse and worse. And now it stinks and now it's smelling.

And now it smells like, you know the smell. Fish. Fish baby powder. It's like you, it's like you ran all day in shoes with no socks on and you stepped on fish. And it's like the feet and the fish together. Yes. Yes.

Can't you not wait to fuck me later? Anyways. So it was really bad. And honestly, I went to the bathroom and started like crying because it hurts. it when it hurts when the chub rub is that extreme it feels like the worst pain you've ever felt and it's on the sensitive most sensitive part of your body i can feel it right now talking about dude when i see a fat person walking with their legs super spread open on the side of the right i was

almost like i want to pull over like i just want to help you because that's a fucking nightmare because i'm with you i used to actually one of the things when i was younger is i would go to not to berry farm like all the time and all you're doing is walking around you know so i would uh Mom had like some biking shorts, some pink biking shorts, actually. And I would wear mom's pink biking shorts. Underneath. Because to Ryland's question, it is a valid question because there's an area where there is no fabric. You know what I'm saying?

Depending on the undergarments that you're wearing and how low the crotch hangs on the shorts. Oh, okay. But if you're wearing biker shorts and it tucks everything nice and neat, keeps everything tight, it does help a little bit. And it's almost like Spanx. That clarifies. I was curious. But I had to wear those or else, I mean, the first couple of times I walked around, it was like fucking chafe city it was bad because i was a kid lit a cigarette off on my thighs

i was imagining for girls it's worse if they're wearing a skirt also i can't get over the visual that me and you both have worn those same pink biker shorts and mom has worn those pink biker shorts let's not get past that do you think she still has them the worst though is when you have so much baby powder in your chub rub and then you sit down and it goes poof oh no i was asking is that real yeah a powder fart i don't know this after all the chubs you've been with? No, I mean, no one I know has done that. Really? You've never talked to your boyfriend about his rub? And also, when you're down there, you don't smell it. I've never, I've never had a bad smell. I've never had a bad smell.

Everyone I've been with smells really good, by the way. When I have my chub rub, which happens if I work out like too much or whatever, I avoid. I'm like, ooh, I don't know if we should have sex or like, I avoid it because, yeah, it smells. You can wash it. I've never. It doesn't help. It doesn't. No, it's a rash. Oh.

They also make boxes nowadays specifically for that. That supposedly helped. Okay. I'm ordering the bench. Well, I'm glad to hear that we've evolved to a point where we're acknowledging the chubb is real and they have underwear for it. And there screams. Thank you. So anyways, long story short, I'm burning.

I'm crying. It hurts. And I go to the office and I'm talking to one of the guidance counselors because they have to like approve all the things or whatever. He's like, how is it going? I'm like, it's horrible. Like, I don't know. Like walking around so much. He asked me what I want to do.

I said, I want to be a director. And he was like, I'm going to keep it real. don't like tell people I said this oh don't tell anybody and he's like if that's what you really are passionate about get out there and do it because like this college you have to take two years of general stuff and then maybe you'll get into the film part because it's hard

Steven Spielberg fucking was in it it's really hard to get in so like maybe and it costs a lot of money there's a lot of equipment involved he's like so you know just best thing is to get out there and do it and literally that year I started my YouTube channel and I started doing it and thank God it worked out but you know I still do have moments where I regret it and I'm like man I should have stuck it through but uh because yeah just it does sound fun but my legs literally wouldn't let me do it I don't know if you know you were one of like my biggest inspirations

when I was like going to go to film school and then like trying to figure out my path and like the more I learned about Hollywood there's like so much like politics behind the scenes of it and it's impossible to get in if you don't know anybody and I knew I know nobody and you were someone who like came along and just you just did it you just did your own thing and you made these shorts that were incredible and i was like oh my god like he just did it i can do it and you were like inspired me a lot so i just hope you know that oh my god ew that made me cry okay it's true kind of kind of gay kind of gay but you are great at creating things thank you oh my god I'm not doing this because I'm enjoying being the victim.

Okay, wow. Yikes. Thank you. That was so sweet. Ew, I can't look at you. That's true. That was really sweet because I am very, yikes. Okay, how do I say?

You know what? No, fuck it. Let's go there. Let's do this. Why am I getting emotional? Because we're cancer. Okay. Here's the thing.

I, to be very honest. I've been struggling lately, feeling like a loser, feeling like, I don't know, like, what am I, like, am I going to be able to make something again? I mean, I love this podcast so much, but, you know, like, I want to make movies and I want to do things in, I think the last couple years and having people go back and go through my old videos and be like, this is horrible, this is terrible, this is offensive, which I understand. But also, like, I put so much effort into a lot of those, like so much time. It was my passion, like making short films and sketches and stuff. I mean, you were even in some of them. Like, that's literally how we met. And, like, I am proud of a lot of those videos, even though some of the jokes are bad.

And it did kind of feel like, you know, I kind of had to throw all that away. And it made me feel embarrassed of that stuff. And yeah, so even hearing you just now saying that makes me feel like, wow, it meant something. Like, it inspired you in a little way and, like, meant something. So I shouldn't be totally embarrassed and ashamed of it. No. You're also in a transitional phase of your life. You're transitioning from one thing to another.

And nobody can take away how you are like a visionary in your own regard at what you can do. No, I'm saying I don't know somebody who can put something creatively together like you can by themselves. Okay. Why are you doing this? It's true. Oh my gosh, because my birthday's coming up. Well, at this point it's past, but. Right.

Yikes True, true Okay I am so excited about this because I have an update that I never thought would come that I was waiting for an update on the Wanda Vision

glitch from Disneyland Now if you don't remember that was the glitch where you see Wanda and she's walking in Disneyland and then a guy in a red shirt just boom pops out from nowhere and we couldn't figure out how it was done Wait, play it again

this is a hold on Oh, how do you explain that? It's like he teleported. That's nuts. Well, it was fake. What? Oh, my God. No, wait.

Uh-huh. Bullshit. Okay. That one really got me too. Damn it. I know. It's called the Red Shirt Guy's POV. Okay, let's do it.

Hi, Red Shirt Guy here. Just want to show you my point of view. The original cameraman is in red, but he doesn't start his footage until the guy in the gray shirt crosses his frame. So I am completely hidden. Wait, what? I don't get it. I don't get it. Wait. Hi, red shirt guy here.

Just want to show you my point of view. The original cameraman is in red, but he doesn't start his footage until the guy in the gray shirt crosses his frame. So I am completely kidding. Oh, you see him off to the side there. So it was just an angle. It was like a... Wait, am I stupid? I didn't understand what I just saw.

It just seemed like it was a purposeful angle hiding him, walking a certain way to, like, hide him until they wanted to reveal him. Okay, I call bullshit. You know what I think this was? I think the Illuminati saw that we were all fucking catching on to this glitch shit. And they hired him to make up some bullshit to debunk it because that didn't make any sense to me. Yeah, it was more confusing than it was clarifying to me. Yeah, I'm not sure. If anything, I'm more skeptical of that one.

Me too. Why the cover up? Okay, this is something somebody sent me. I don't know what category of conspiracy this fits in. Because it's not a conspiracy, but I just thought it was kind of shook me a little bit. Okay. So did you know that Disney recycles cartoons? What do you mean?

Okay, check this out. Well, it's obviously the music that makes it feel freaky. I mean, it's exact footprints, though. That's pretty. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. So I looked into it, and it's real. So Disney, to save time, because it is so.

time consuming they would like keep the original frames of the motion and of the cartoon and just make little changes so yeah originally it was because each step is probably hours and hours of work i just thought that was interesting then i was like what else do they recycle this one really freaked me out so this is from keegan she said i was recently visiting an immersive vincent van go art exhibit and i saw something weird tell me this little boy and the van go painting doesn't look just like Shane, I'm shook. Wow. That is me, right?

That's a van gopending. He knew you were going to be a visionary. Wait, do you not see that? Why do I offend it for you? Honestly, I think when you zoom out, when you zoom out, it's even more apparent. That is literally me and Chris. Oh, you got to throw Chris and do it after he said he's offended. If you squint, it's really, really, uh, it's fucking if you squint and you think about you and then you think it looks like you, it looks just like.

If somebody that watches the show said, look what I drew of Shane, I'd be like, oh, nice. I agree. Okay. How about this? I'm kind of shook right now. Okay. Because I've gotten several doppelganger text or like a message from somebody. And they said that their husband with bald hair looks just like me.

And I just sent it to your phone. Ooh. You can air drop it now. Oh, my. That's my doppelganger. Oh. Oh, my God. So someone took a picture of you.

Well, that's her fiance. And that's me. And I said, that's a good looking dude. Wow. Good job. I would say that is cool guy with glasses. And Ryan Lid has a doppelganger too. Who?

Oh, my God. This is too much. Really? Are you joking? No. Andrew from BuzzFeed is literally... Whoa. It used to be a little more.

Oh, I can see it, though. He's on BuzzFeed, and everybody thought I was dating the guy from BuzzFever. Because I was on clever at his last name. Whoa. Nickle. Lysmically cleats. That sounds like what Joe Biden called America. He was on that very popular generation.

He was probably thinking of this guy's last name. America is a nation that can be defined in a single word. I was in a foot him and a foot. America in one word, legitimate it's in a kidney, Jimmy River. He was just a big fan of, that was so good. Chris, do you have a doppelganger? I don't know. I mean, I've just.

around my life. All the time, people say, oh, you're a look like my cousin or this or that, but I've never like, I don't know what was specific. Oh my gosh. If anybody has a Chris doppelganger, please email it to me to the email right here so we can be shut. Here's the thing. I think, and it is a conspiracy now I think about it. Everybody has a doppelganger. So what does that mean? Does that mean we all have a secret twin? Does that mean that like everybody has someone that looks like them? Like, could somebody kill me and start living my life as me and get rid of my body? It's not unheard of. Did someone already do that? Do you think I would notice?

This is like us. Whoa. That's where he got the movie ideas. Uh, yeah, wow, that's crazy. Okay, so we're going to get into some glitches in a second. But before we do that, I did see a new backmasking video. That sounds really stupid, but give it a chance. So this video says if you reverse this clip of Obama saying, yes, we can.

It sounds like he's saying, thank you, Satan. Ooh. Yes, we can. Yes, we can. Yes, we can. Sounds like he's saying. having sex. Thank you, sir.

Thank you, say. Thank you, say. Thank you, say. It sounds like it, right? It definitely sounds like it. There's a Dora Obama connection here. Okay, okay. I didn't put the pieces together.

I feel dumb for missing it. Now, okay, I have a question. Now, did you hear it? It sounds like, thank you, Satan. Yes. Yes. That was good impression. Oh my God, whoa.

Oh, whoa. Now, okay, here's my question, though, about backmasking. Like, what's the point? Did you just literally fart? I had to let one go, dude. I'm getting stomach issues. If you actually reverse the fart, it says, thank you, Satan. Thank you, Satan.

Wipe my butt. Wipe your butt. So is it just how he was saying? it or is just anyone that says yes we can reversed thank you satan uh chris is my question you better open up that fucking photo booth and let's do shit and you because you're such a good obama impersonator it's gonna be your voice there it is yes we can okay can you just reverse a video on your phone uh i don't know can actually yes yes we can't yes thank you satian this actually we can't although no not you though him i have to say it yes that's you baby okay okay wait can you come over here oh yes can't he just airdrop you a

video from his phone too complicated okay so in your best obama impersonation i don't think i'm good at use your thumbs oh yeah this he does this right yes we can yes we can yes yes we can i don't that was so good that was great i believe that we can now Wow. In his polo? Come on. Oh, reverse. Okay. Whoa, I'm like freaking out. This works. Okay, so I just reversed it. Let's see what it sounds like.

Whoa, it sounds even more so. That is crazy. Chris is more in tune than Obama. So it must be a well-known thing that if you back-mask, yes, we can, thank you, Satan comes out of it. And that was Obama's whole thing. That was his slogan. Yes, we can. If I, okay, I'm going to.

Whoa, it sounds even more so. I just feel like it sounds like we hate Democrats now. Like we've only talked poorly about Biden and Obama. I was the only options. I know, unfortunately... Do you want to find anything of Trump saying anything backwards? Unbelievable, Vanessa, thank you. We get the sign of a bill of a month.

Did Trump ever say yes we can? I bet it... The first man... I'm surfing. I wonder if anyone's brought it to Obama's attention, though. I mean... I wonder when this... Like, how have I never heard about this before?

Also, yes, we can in general. Like, that's such a positive thing to say. How did the devil take that over? take that over. What was Obama's other thing that he would say? Hope. Hope and change. What's hope and backwards? I hope. I hope. I hope. That's...

Wow. Obama, you just up in the comments below. Did you know? Did you? Um, okay. He's like, you're on to me. Um, okay. Obama, I have questions.

Oh my God, he takes us all out. We all die after this. Wow. He sounds like the Republican now. Republican now oh okay this I almost didn't want to play this because it's so obviously fake but so many people sent me this and wanted us to react to it and maybe it is real but this is a supposed clip from somebody's live stream and they showed a room in their house where this happens all right this is the first video so he has a book he has the bear and stain a bear's book and I noticed that the bear and stain had said Berenstein in that room but I come out here into just the normal other part of the house and it says this so so you know I'm not crazy I'm gonna show you if I pass through this doorway what happens and it's fucking weird all right it happens when it gets in the room see it And then back out here, normal.

That was weird. I mean... Fuck. Uh-huh. Yeah? And then normal. Okay. Obviously it's fake.

And edited, right? It was really weird, though, because I'm looking at it and I'm like, how did he track it like that? It's very seamless. Is he a special effects artist? You look at that. That shit is changing right there. I saw a little blur And I mean the guy

Look the guy's like Oh I'm so creeped out I'm not gonna stay in this room It's like bro you got a fucking scary As picture of the conjuring next to it So obviously the guy is very into horror films And that's so you're telling me that's so scary But you got a horror movie poster

On the entrance of your room I saw a little bit of a blur though That didn't freak me out Um Okay so I got some more glitches in the Matrix My favorite Okay so this first one I actually am not

shook by this one i'm just going to start with that but this one i was sent probably a hundred times and this is well i'll just show you oh well i mean it looks pretty realistic but it's the fawn on the mom but then it disappears Because the deer is around the other side of the tree, it was never facing the same direction. That's what I thought. I'm pretty shook, honestly. But when I looked, that TikTok had like millions of views and everybody's like, I don't understand how did this happen. And I saw it the first time and I'm like, the other baby deer is on the other side of the tree.

But are we just stupid? I mean, yeah, I guess I could be stupid. It does look trippy. Where does it go behind the tree? Well, it's on the other side of the tree. How? How? Well, because it's lower.

Are you looking at this? Yeah. Are you looking at this? The head on the right or actually... Oh, the head on the left. Is that it? And the body's behind it? How about this?

I am not exactly sure what I'm looking at, but it doesn't give me that much of spook-vibes. I mean, I can't explain it. I can make it make sense in a few different ways in my head. Going with what you're saying, I could see the left head's body faced out behind the tree. I can't. Yeah, because now the one on the left is going behind the tree. Yeah. I didn't see it.

Oh, I see. Okay. I see that now. It's like those pictures that people show, like optical illusions where it looks like a lady has a guy's leg. But then like when you actually look, the guy's like sitting behind her. No matter what, that's pretty crazy to have on footage. It's pretty mind trippy. Like I, it's worth the views because it's like, let's watch it a few times.

The dog has disappeared. Oh, I haven't seen this one yet. The dog has disappeared from behind the tree. Keep your eye on the dog. Okay. Hi, I'm Danny Lopiori. Ever get the feeling you're being watched online? It's not paranoia.

It's data brokers. These companies collect your personal information, including your browsing habits, where you live, and even who you're related to, and they sell it to the highest bidder. That's where ORA comes in. ORA automatically removes your personal info

from data broker sites and keeps it off. It also monitors the dark web, safeguards your devices, alerts you to real-time threats, and more. Start your free trial at aura.com slash control. That's A-U-R-A-com slash control for your free trial. Ready? Yeah. Wait.

What? Can you play that again? So we all see the dog there. Okay. And then is that the same dog here? Whoa. Is that a different dog? It's hard to tell because in the video it's like the footage is not very high resolution on the first dog.

It is weird though that that dog with that momentum could just stop that quickly. Yeah. That's pretty weird. Wait, what? And also why was somebody filming this? Like watching a kid get chased by a dog. That's weird as well, right? Yeah, there's a lot to unpack when you watch a video like that.

I guess. That's kind of weird. Anything on TikTok is a little suspicious. I'm kind of shocked by it. You shook. I'm a little bit shook by it. Nice, cool. I am too. I mean, that was really weird.

I'm not not shook. It just seems like they might have set it up, which still leaves me shook. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I can't explain it. Bro, you man, yeah? Watch this video, yeah? Look at these girls over there, yeah?

Watch, watch, watch. Watch, watch. Watch it, bro. Where do them fucking girls come from, bro? Fucking tripping me out, bro. Man had the fucking goosebumps when I saw this, bro. so are people just getting really good at angles or what is this so were they hiding behind her is this planned but why would they do that i mean two people can't hide behind one person so are people just

planning this because like that i don't know we've got to look at like a i mean film school major would know more than us well i mean if if it if it is fake it's the same explanation as the wando video or edited it or i don't know but i mean i'm really analyzing a lot of the video to see if they're editing it and it looks very well done everything else in the video is happening in real time honestly knowing the wanda one is fake i just nothing means anything to me anymore oh my god you're right you know what did that wanda one ruin all glitches because now besides the obama thing i'm like well the obama thing's enough to ruin all of our lives i you've said because the wanda is the one that like really shook me more than anything and if that's fake i don't know anymore

Wow, sad. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, my God. You want a podcast? Yeah, you can ruin everything. Oh, she's good. Tell them what you think. She's so good.

She's such a good podcaster. You want to do the recap, baby? Oh. Are you going to hold her doing the recap? I can try. Rylan's rough cap. Um, okay, well, yeah, listen, if you have any glitches, actually, I think maybe we're done with glitches. think maybe we're done with glitches because I feel like nothing can shock me anymore.

But if you have any videos that are going to fuck us up. How about this? A new challenge. See if you could find a video that will make us feel something. Yeah. You know, I need something hardcore to feel it again. See if you can make Jared cry. Yeah, I'm still right now. There's no shaking going on at all with me right now. I mean, the Obama thing, I feel like we're on to something there. Oh, I think we crack the code on that. I think, if anything, we cracked it so hard that they sent satellite beams to our brain to, like, slow them down a little bit. We can't have these people operating at max potential. Okay, you know what time it is?

Ryland's a rough cap. You said it, not me. Like camera action, Ryland's recap is about to happen. Rylent's recap. On today's episode of the Shane Dawson podcast, Rylund and Shane reveal they have a new family member, and it just so happens to be the most adorable golden retriever. That was cute. Here it tossed Chris's salad.

Obama's a Satanist. Oh. Can we say it? And so are Republicans. Equal. They're all Satanist. in today's episode Obama is exposed

the boys oh that made me feel weird I don't know I don't know I mean you guys said it We got to fly tomorrow buddy Oh Shane I dropped out of college

Because of my fat legs Oh chub rub Shane reveals he had to drop out of college Because the chub rub was literally killing him Thank God though Because he turned out to be just fine Okay I'm gonna cry again

Oh, Drake's not gay But Ryland thinks he is Or Ryland thinks his music is Ryland made a big old misstep And the audience is screaming at him Turns out he might have said something homophobic And outed Drake as gay Although he knows Drake's not gay

Just sensitive and women love that The wink Reel it in, reel it in I'm not holding back I'm delivering the hell lines before Shane and Rylan get into a full-blown feud, I think it's best to leave it here. Thank you so much for tuning in to the Shane Dawson podcast. Make sure you rate it five stars and leave a comment if you're watching on YouTube.

Thank you so much for watching and enjoying the show. We'll see you next week. Good night. Don't clap. I don't want to wake up the beat. Oh, what did they say when it's like, yeah, finger waves? Oh, yeah. Jazz hands.

Is it jazz hands? Is that we're doing? It's honestly the respectful thing to do. To who? I've seen a video on YouTube. This looks silly. I've seen a YouTube video about it. Isn't this like sign language?

Or am I making that up? Oh, God. I don't know if that's right. This is, oh, Chris is canceled. In fake woke news. Oh, I was asking. I was asking. This is something for, can I motorboat your boobs?

Oh, my God. Hey. Thanks for asking, though. I just YouTube did. This is it. Consent. I'm big on consent, guys. This is American Sign Language for applause.

Oh, a little different than our finger wagging. Yeah, I mean, were we mocking sign language by doing this? No, we were wagging. Okay, oh, that's a good one. We were canceled for offending sign language. For offending sign language. The boys misrepresent sign language leading to their demise on Twitter. Oh, but all the people that use sign language have said that, that, that, um.

Well, they signed. Oh, no. No. Oh, no. That's what they do. No, they said. They expressed. They express. They express. They said. They still say said because Molly Burke, she's blind and she said she still reads books, even if it's audio, because she's still reading it. So you're canceled. Perfect. We needed that. We needed that. Jared's canceled. The boys made it through an entire episode without being canceled until the recap revealed who they truly are.

Canceled, unwoke, insensitive design. Close it up, close it up, close it up. Yikes, yikes. Good night. Like this. Well, good job, everyone. I want to tickle you. This is like a creepy uncle.

Honestly, we should learn sign language. And I did see reels going around where, like, there's sign language teachers that teach you in very digestible ways. I love the sign language interpreters on stage. And they're like, do you know what I talk about? style battle rap? Yes. Oh, I care. My boyfriend and I My boyfriend and I were like far from each other and we can't say it or we don't We just like we don't want to say it aloud or he's nervous over it. We'll just like really quickly be like That's I love you inside language. I thought he said if you fart in front of each other

Why would you have to signal like hey guys? I'm gonna flare. Oh, that's cute. Yeah Well there you guys go. Hopefully you enjoyed whatever the hell this was and um yeah we'll see you next time and I have no idea what our next theme is going to be so help us Let us know what should we wear. That's good. I have no ideas. And we're going to go eat some sausages and play with our puppy.

See you. Like this. We're going to go deep throat some sausages. There's a sausage in my hand. It's not gay. I'm uploading that on TikTok. See you guys next time. Bye.

Oh, wait. I did it again. Oh, I was just waving by. Oh, bye. Oh, good. I think it's good, right? That's what should have. I think it's good, right?

Oh, my gosh. Are we all canceled? Hi, I'm Danny Lopiori. Ever get the feeling you're being watched online? It's not paranoia. It's data brokers. These companies collect your personal information, including your browsing habits,

where you live, and even who you're related to, and they sell it to the highest bidder. That's where ORA comes in. ORA automatically removes your personal info from data broker sites and keeps it off. It also monitors the dark web, safeguards your devices, alerts you to real-time threats, and more. Start your free trial at aura.com slash control. That's A-U-R-A-com slash control for your free trial.