The Shane Dawson Podcast - OUR BIGGEST KINKS! and POP CULTURE CONSPIRACY THEORIES with SANDY!

Episode Date: July 26, 2023

In this special 2000’s episode Shane and the guys jump on the Friends couch and talk about the craziest conspiracies they could find! Throw in some Mandela Effects and a special guest Sandy and you���ve got yourself a RAD time on the couch!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Wow. Uh-oh. I don't like yogurt. It makes it for raw up like so chewy that it's stuck in all of my teeth. Gilbert sucks. That tastes like nothing. I'm loving it. Interrupting this podcast for a quick sneak peek of my new main channel video.

Hope you enjoy. You hire a bunch of different bakers, and you give them pictures of yourself, and bakers make life-size versions of me. Okay, ready? I turn this into a princess. Oh! And sometimes the cakes are really good. Can it open up my phone? It works!

No! Oh my God! And sometimes they are, um... One, two, three. I don't want to shame art. And sometimes that's what I fucking look like? Yeah, aren't you happy? That's bad.

So I have four different versions of me. Oh my god. And we're gonna reveal them. Oh my God. Kissing yourself? Oh, that's weird, Shane. Okay. So wait, what is this video called? Try.

Okay, really, right? One, two, three. Well, you didn't even do it right. I thought we're just clapping for ourselves. No, it's... No, it's... No, it's not. This way.

Maybe you're right. Hey, welcome back to whatever the hell this is Friends Edition. Wow, we look. Everywhere. It's a different kind of nightmare. But not in a bad way. This is like so good. You guys look just like Phoebe and Joey.

It's insane. It's like, we're the same people we were last week, you know, like before, you know? Wow. That blog wig is good. I feel fabulous. It's popping. I feel Phoebe. Yeah.

And Chris is over here being Chandler. Do you know, do you watch Friends? Can I be honest with you? Yeah. Not a lot. I've seen, like, I think I'm a casual friends watch. Like, if it was on TV, I would watch it and laugh. But I'd never, like, sought it out.

I never watched a full season. I don't really know the name. Let me guess you, like, sign, though. For somebody who doesn't watch friends, that was very Chandler, the way he talked just now. He's like, I didn't really watch it. I didn't, I don't know. I didn't really, well, the only thing you need to know is that Chandler is very sarcastic. He's actually the opposite of you.

Very sarcastic, kind of mean. Shut up. The camera adds 10 pounds. So how many cameras are actually on you? Oh. Throws cheap shots. Okay. And he says, like, could it be an elbow?

Could we be more white trash? So your thing is like, could I be any gayer? Like that, can you be any more? Prove you. So it's a lot of that. I see. And then over here we have Rachel. Hey. You are like, I don't, you transformed today because ever since I put that wig on you and that makeup on you, you've kind of been, are we on a break?

Or like, what's happening? Maybe we should just take a break. Actually, I'm like really into you. I don't think I've ever seen you with a tie on casually. Well, I'm Ross. My wig didn't fit. I tried to cut it to make it fit my head. fit my head and that didn't work so I don't have my wig on but yes I'm Ross you're very quiet you okay yeah I don't I just I'm like it's hard to live up to Rachel you know like I don't know

how to be Rachel you are Rachel it's a lot of pressure oh my gosh you think I'm that wonderful come on you've been wearing that wig all week I know but you've been preparing a week he by the way it was very weird every time he puts on this wig and that skirt can you show your skirt oh um you might have to like sit up a little bit oh wow look at that can I just say he He's been getting randomly hard every time he... What are you talking about? He literally, he was like, I was like, oh, can you try the top? No, I was not.

He puts on the skirt, he puts on the wig, and then he's just, and I look over and he's rock hard in the wig and I'm like, what are you doing? He's like, I don't know. Oh, please. He's doxing me. I'm not. You also have never looked more like Jared Leto to me. You look like Jared Leto in Dallas Buyer's Club.

I finally see it. That's a compliment. I finally see it. Jared Leto's like 80 looking like he's 12. Not 12, like 30. He's like 45, you know? Oh, he's like 60. He definitely. He sleeps in a sleep chamber for sure.

He's like older. Dude, if he's 60, he's the best looking 60-year-old. No, he's 80. He's 51. Still pretty crazy for how young he looks. Wow. Good for Jared Leto, dude. Okay, Sandy, you're back.

We're so excited. What has changed? We have so much to catch up with Phoebe slash Sandy. You started your channel. You're fucking killing it. You're making videos. You're posting them. People love you.

We're excited. Tell us about your life. I'm loving it. I'm loving to love them getting. And very Phoebe of me. I've also taken singing lessons. Smelly cat. Smelly cat.

So, you know, I'm just, I'm loving life right now. Are we going to get a performance of Smelly Cat? Possibly not. During the show, do we need to like embrace our characters a little bit? So like, Jared, your thing is that you flirt with everybody. How you do you're trying to fuck everyone? And you're always hungry. Perfect.

Got one of them knocked out. Yeah, Phoebe, you're crazy. In a good way. And also, oh my God, you kind of are Phoebe, because she's into, like, spiritual medicine and things like that, holistic, yes. And cats and singing. That's everything I like. Yeah. Chris, yeah, remember, be more of an asshole.

Oh, no. Point out people's thoughts. Be the assholiest version of yourself today. Yes. Anything mean that comes to your mind, just scream it out. Yeah. Oh, no. Let's get into some fights.

And I'll just be really. really annoying and insecure and on edge. So, me. There we go. I don't know where to start because I have so much. First of all, Friends is my favorite show of all time. I've seen every single episode,

five million, bajillion times. I know all the trivia. I know everything about the show. Oh, I prepared. Okay, if you don't remember, the one with the trivia game, everything is called the one with,

Chris. So it's like the one with the fight about the blue dress. You know, that would be an episode of our podcast. The one with Shane and Ryanland Fighting. That's all of them. So, The Friends episode, the one with the trivia game.

Do you remember this one? It's the one where... I do. I do. I can see they're all in, like, the girls' apartment playing it. Yes, they're all in the girls' apartment, and they have this game prepared, and it's like a trivia game, and it's the boys versus the girls, and Ross leads the game, and he prepares it on a big board with all these cards and everything. And the winner of the game gets the apartment. So whoever wins...

I do remember that. Gets nothing. Get this house. Gets this house. Good luck. I think we have rats. Okay. Okay. The trivia game. Are we ready? It's about friends? It's about friends.

So there's no price. Nope. Okay. See you in 20 minutes. Okay. So I haven't separated men and women, and the categories are fears and pet peeves, ancient history, literature, and it's all relative. It's all relative. So girls, Rachel, and Phoebe versus Joey and Chandler. So here we go. It's in the back. Okay, so who wants to go first? Girls or guys? Let's go first.

Perfect. That was classy. Okay. So ladies. Rachel, let's start with you. Okay. Do you want to pick a category, fears and pet peeves, ancient history, literature, or it's all relative? It's all relative.

Yes. Those are going to be hard. Okay, so it's all relative? Wait. We just answer? I'm going to give you the question. Okay. I'm sorry.

I'm being annoying, but that's because I'm ross. Okay. What is the name of the grandmother of Shane and Jared who passed away in 2010? Can I answer it too? Yes, ding, ding, ding. Ethel. Oh my God, yes. Woo!

Ethel Louise. Bruce. Oh, my God, you know her middle name and everything. Can I be honest? I didn't know. I know. That's why I put the question. Thank God, Sandy is a woman of the family.

Wow, good job. That was really good. Thank you. Good job, Phoebe. Okay. Boys team, pick a category. Losers. Fears and pet peeves.

Ooh, okay. This is fun. Look, I'm excited. I'm nervous. Okay. What is Ryland's biggest pet peeve? Do I know? Yeah, you answered this yesterday for me.

Can I give you a hint? Please. I'll give a hint. Please. It involves the kitchen. Oh, is it when you leave your underwear on the kitchen? That's Shane's Pecky! That's my pet peeve!

He leaves his underwear on the kitchen counter. Oh, that's, I got it backwards. Yeah, I have pants right there. How does it get to the kitchen counter? I don't know. Because I get home from walking the dogs and I can't have underwear on, so it takes The underwear. Oh, wait.

Can I say another? Am I not allowed to say another? Because that was getting closer, I'll give you one more chance. Okay. I don't know the rules. Is it dishes not being put away? Even closer, but no, you're wrong. Dang it.

Oh, okay. I don't think we can give him a third chance. I mean, each get an opportunity. Jared can have one chance. Okay. Leaving food out. Oh, no. Both wrong but close.

Ryan Lynn's biggest pet peeve is. When people leave the cup. It's open. I was going to say that. Damn. He takes it so personal. Like when somebody leaves a cupboard open, like if they come over, they leave a cupboard open and they leave. When they leave, he's like, why the fuck did they do that?

Listen, if you do it once, I can see past it. If you do it once, I'm like, oh, that was an accident. But if somebody recurringly comes to the house and leaves it open, I'm like, they have something against me. Do you have someone in your life that has done that? Yes. I mean, that's all like crazy people. Like chronically.

We had someone in our life who, that sounds dark. I don't have to close my car. They passed away, metaphor. I know. We had somebody in our life who would literally, like, I'd come downstairs and I'd look, and every, like a ghost took over the house, like a demon. Every fucking cabinet and every drawer was open. How is this happening? Like paranormal activity.

Yeah. And then I was like, how's this happening? And then I saw the person do it. And I was like, oh, it was like going from thing to thing to opening them and looking for something and leaving them all. Yikes. Dude, I wouldn't be friends with them after the first time. And we're not. And we're not.

Yeah. Fuck all that. Okay, girls, let's have Sandy, Phoebe. Let's do Incha History. Yeah, that's fun. Okay. Okay. What is the name of Shane's first ex-girlfriend?

I know. Nadine. Oh, I know. Oh, no. Oh, yes. Yes. No, Nadine was right. Oh, good job.

How did you remember that? I don't know. I know things about my man's. Wow. Queen Nadine shout out. She has babies now. Really? She gave, she, like, yeah, she's messaged me when things have happened in my life that sucked, and she's very nice.

So, shout out in needy. Okay, boys. She gets hate now. I know. I said no for hate, mom. Shout out of indeed. You're like, you stand for shade? No, no, no, no.

Anyways. Okay, boys. Chris. Literature? What is the name of my first book? I hate my selfie. Wow. I've got it.

I've bought it. Oh, my God. Thank you. Wow. Yeah. I read it on a subway, actually, because I had no connection when I was going to my editing job in downtown,

and there was, like, nothing to do. Wait, wait. So I, because I could. Barry Chandler. Dude, you're on brand, bro. And then there was a copro. You're falling, it's fine. It's fine.

Just stand behind your being words. Someone threw it at me when I was in the subway, and I had nothing to do. There was no service, and there was barely enough to read it. about to burn it and I said it. No, thank you. At least you got a point and it gets worse. I just have a hard time getting through reading. I can't, I don't have patience for it.

You didn't finish it? No, I did. It was the first book I made me the first book I ever finished. Where is it now? Okay, that makes it. That's kind of cool if it's the first book you ever read. Yeah, I just have done a page. Hey, sorry to interrupt the show, but I wanted to give a big shout out to our first sponsor of the day, which is Hair Story. Also, okay, really quick, before I start talking about Hair Story, which, which, you guys know I love so much. I have basically been raving about it for weeks. It has completely fixed my hair. Thank you, Hair Story. But really quick, I just want to show you, and I'll talk more about this later, but we finally have Farmerge. Ah, I'm so excited. Okay, I'll show, I'll talk about that

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Okay, enjoy the rest of the show. Bye. Um, okay, girls. Wait, we just did literature, huh? We did it each in history. Oh, literature. Okay, what is the name of my other book? Oh, Jared just said it.

Subtally. Did I? There's, I hate my selfie, which is your first. and it gets worse. Wow. Good job. I don't know if I've read them. You definitely have not read them.

Your father read them. I took a picture with it. Just like everybody in the body. So Rachel. Very Rachel of her. Okay, boys. Let's go ahead and do ancient history. This is pretty fun.

This is a lot of fun. Okay. Ooh. What was Ryland's first gay sexual experience? Oh. You got this one? you guys black out while listening to me on the podcast

many times I know Chris has heard it on my podcast and this podcast you don't know it what I'm pretty sure I'm like a broken record I'm pretty sure him and some dude

were jacking off in a car that he met on Craigslist they were exploring themselves dude yeah that was one of my favorite moments my Crazliss took up wow good job thank God that got nervous

RIP to men seeking man hey um all right Phoebe. Yes. Oh, let's do fears and pet peeves. This is fun. I hope you guys aren't bored.

I'm excited. Okay, what scares the bejesus out of Chris? Scares? There are two options to this question. Oh, it's a multiple choice. Yes. If you got both of them, double points. Oh, I thought you were gonna give us multiple choice.

Oh, yeah. I feel like you're a little bitch, so it's gonna be like spiders. Wow. Was that an answer? Come on, let's get tears about the game. No, the other, like, every time Shane sees a bug, he screams like a little girl and makes me come kill it. This is Chris.

I know, but I just wanted to let everyone else know. That I'm a little bitch. Well, I feel like you guys might be similar in the bug department. Okay. Are we thinking bug or are we thinking more like... Oh, that wasn't an answer. Okay. Experience.

Okay, what scares. I feel like he loves horror movies, so I don't know if that would be like an answer of his. And so, yeah, I'm thinking it's a bug or a spider or a snake because he's a little bitch. What do you think? I'm thinking more of like experience, like losing someone. Oh, he is anxious. Close, close, close, close. Very Phoebe.

Very Phoebe. She's tapping in the, you know, feeling the vibe. And that's what I'm getting. Negative energy. I think maybe just losing parents. Oh, that's so close. Wait, I'm not going to. Don't submit the answer yet.

Oh, I'm just thinking of. But it might involve something like that. Losing his significant other? No. Oh. One more chance. Is that already happening someone in his life? I feel like you steered us in the wrong direction.

I didn't. I really didn't. Think more personal. Losing your parents. Losing grandma? Death, dying. Yes, yes, yes. Chris, his biggest fears are sharks and or dying. I knew one of them was something of an animal.

I think it's actually swimming in pools because of sharks. Oh my gosh. I should have known. Wasn't it? Didn't you say some shit? You can't even get a jacuzzi without thinking there's a shark in it

at one point? I do get if it's a pool and it's a big enough of a pool sometimes for a second I'm like I don't know. I remember that conversation now. Wow, Jared really does listen to us. I am shocked at how much he remembers

to be quite honest because that does not happen. Thank you, Jared. I feel seen. Okay, here's where we are. Girls, four points, boys, two points. Yikes. You got to catch up.

Come on, boys. Yes. All right, boys. Category. Suck. It's all relative. Ooh, okay. Let's do it.

All right. What is Rylan's middle name? Oh, my gosh. Ritalin has a middle name. Mm-hmm. Fuck. Matthew? No.

No. Would be a fun guess, but not going to be my guess. Uh-huh. What do you think, Chris? That was just a fun thing. God, I don't know. Think. Okay.

I'll give a small hints as you guys, you know, we've given him a hint. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. This name is a little kind of significant in our family. Whoa. Oh, Edward? No.

That was a good guess though. Eugene? No. Josh. Thomas? No, the answer was Bruce. I thought you were gonna say my dad's name. Which is also his dad's name, which is also our mom's maiden name.

His technically his middle name. Yeah, wow. I was trying, yeah, I was trying to think of your dad's name because that probably was it. Damn. All right, girlies. So I'm asking the men, ancient history. Okay. How long was Chris with his

ex-boyfriend. 10 years. Yes. Whoa. I feel like not really that big of a surprise because I feel like we've talked about it before on the show. But that is pretty good to get it right off. It's a decade. I know.

Wow. Good job. Okay. Yeah. Boys. Fears and pet peeves for 20. What is Sandy's biggest fear? Oh.

Don't worry. He won't get it. Oh, no. Really? You're on Husy. I will say it's very. It's very specific. I was like, okay, and it made me laugh.

Is it maybe what you were guessing for me, losing a significant other or family member? Why would I laugh at that? Oh, I didn't see. I didn't see you laugh. It made me laugh. Failure? Is that it?

Why would I laugh at failure? Uh-oh. Oh, oh, okay, okay, guys, joking. Joking. Joking. I can't fail. That's what I was getting at. Cows.

I mean, that would be funny. No, she hates cows, but she's not afraid of them. You do? Can I give him a hint? Well, yeah, you guys got the whole dead. No, come on, give a hint. I mean, it's so bad. We're winning.

Yeah, give it a hint. Give them something you do. Oh, shit. And you're afraid of it? Text and drive. I don't know if you have that answer. I don't know if someone breaking in the house. That's not funny.

What is it ever broken into the house? I don't know. You break into the house. I'm scared. No, like I started. But I startle you, and I'm sure it'd be startling if someone broke in the house. Is it just Jared? I've seen him come into the house.

Dang, this is rough. I, man, I don't know. What is it? A random person outside of her window. Why is that funny? How's that funny? But that's how getting broken into starts. But it's just so specific.

But it is scary. Like, I'm scared not thinking about it, but like, how did you get to that point? Because I think, well, especially at night when, like, you can't. see out. But they can see in. Picture somebody just staring in and Jared does it all of the time. He does? Yeah, I'll be in the living room and I'll just turn around. He's just staring at me from outside

and it's terrifying. Wow. That is me. Who wouldn't be afraid of that though? You got to be a real gangster to not be afraid of people random outside of your house. Shit. Oh my God. Okay.

What are we doing? Sandy's... Oh, I'll do... It's all relative. All right. How many siblings does Chris have? Oh, so easy. Zero.

Yes, zero! They're just destroying us. Oh, right, right, right, right. We're just so thoughtful and listen so intently. We are at girls have six and boys still only have two. Okay, Chris. Me? Oh, ancient history.

Okay, this one's about me. Nice. This one is very... This should honestly be worded. two points. I'm going to say this is where two points. Oh, great. Because this one is very specific. Okay. You mean your husband won't know? I don't think so. Wow. What is the name? I can't even read it.

What is the name of the competing movie that Shane went up against in 2014's The Chair? I just watched it like not even a year ago. The competing movie. Oh my gosh. Paradise is back. It's finally here in the new location, Costa Rica. There will be adventure, drama, and romance. All gavs, no breaks, that's my vibe. Ready to find some love. But it wouldn't be paradise without surprises along the way. These kids need to learn.

That's right. Your favorite Golden Alums are crashing the beach. We bring in a party, baby. Bachelor in Paradise, new Mondays at 87 Central on ABC, and stream on Hulu. Oh, my God. How do you remember that? That you have? How the fuck did you remember that?

That's crazy. That's insane. Did you recently watch it too? No, I've never seen it actually. The TV show? Not the movie, the TV show. The TV show is good. It's really good.

Thank you. Girls. You have only two left. Fears and Pet Peeves and Literature. This is a good one. What is the name of Jared, aka Upwards, first rap album? That's all Sandy. I am music.

Yes! That's it! Whoa! Were you around? Were you around? Yeah. Were you around? I mean, you know what I mean?

Did you know him when he released it? Yeah, I was there if they released the album release party. Yeah. Okay, we are at Girls 7, Boys 4. We only have a couple left, boys. Take the category. Literature or it's all relative? Literature.

What is Sandy's favorite kind of alternative medicine? Oh, lots of. You have to think about it? Acupuncture, is that a medicine? That's only a question, not an answer. Not true. Not right. Spirulina.

That's not right? No. Favorite type of alternative medicine. A suppository. Remember the tea? I love those. Camamil? It was a camamole. Wow.

A tea? You guys are dead in the water. It's like. Okay, hold on. You do have a chance for a bonus point. Do they? Should we get a bonus point? If they, wait, wait, wait, okay, it's kind of a tea

And I got her. Think very vague and big. Drinks. Her favorite medicine is drink. Ginger herbs, like, I don't know. Yeah. I'm going to give it the point. Plants and herbs.

Plants and herbs. That is alternative medicine by definition, I guess. We got Chris's biggest fear in the same way, so it's fine. Yeah. Hold on. Thank you. He did say spurred. Luna, which is like a plant.

Okay, bonus point, can you name one of her doctors? Oh, yes, I can. Wasn't it the acupuncture person? Yes, what's his name? Terry Chang. Shout out. You'll see him in Pomona. Yes.

Shut out, Terry Chang. You think it's Sandy and I both acupuncture for winning. We have girls have seven and boys have six. No, they don't. They had four before we started this round. We got a bonus point. That was two? Terry Chang.

Hell no, it was. Well, then we get the bonus point for our last round. It's okay. We like a challenge. It's okay. We got it. Yeah, they're saying that until they lose. Unless we lose that.

Fears and pet peeves. Girls, what is my biggest fear? Me leaving the house. I didn't submit that answer. But that is. I'm just saying, you're lying if you didn't say that. Okay, but why would I say that? We need another hint.

I was going to say ghost. Don't leave the house. There's stupidly ghost here. Okay, I'll be, okay, I'll give you a tiny hint. Or should I not give a hint? You have to. You gave them 500 hints to get to the last one. Yeah, tiny hint.

You're not completely wrong, but why would I be so afraid of you leaving the house? You don't want me to die. To give me a car accident? Car accidents. Yes, I knew that. Why am I happy for being right? So it's easy. Really, that's more of a fear for you than a plane?

Yes. Anytime I hear an ambulance. ambulance or anything like after you leave the house I'm like oh my god I have to call you and be like hello are you still okay wow you are going to be my mom as a parent my mom called me every single time there was an ambulance growing up yeah yeah okay so we're at six for boys and eight for women and we got a bonus point too so there so there must be a bonus point on this one all relative boner point oh there is a bonus point okay the last question of the game this is oh I'm so excited okay so if we get this we win no you tied and then there's a tie break Tiebreaker. How many YouTube channels does Rylund have? Damn, girl. Ooh. Three?

Oh. Three. Bonus. Can you name them all? Oh, that's so easy. Well, isn't that what I'm doing? Yeah. Ryland Adams.

Uh-huh. Rylind blogs. Uh-huh. Sips, serve. The Sip. Yes. Wow. Oh, my God.

We're tied. It's actually not called the SIP. How many is each question worth? It's the SIP podcast with Ryan and Adamson, Lizzie Gordon. So you didn't get it right. Oh. Okay, here we go. What is, in America, the average size of a flaccid penis?

Such a weird. Okay, now it's going to be a blank point blank blank, blank inches. That's so, so three numbers. Three point five inches. Two point five eight inches. Three point... What a dick move. Are you going to do that?

Damn, dude. Eight three. I'm going to say three point six seven. Two point eight nine. Okay, so we're going with Price's Right Rules. So you can't go over the dick size. So whoever got closest under the dick size. I hate that Chris might win.

This sucks. Okay. Yeah, Chris, that was a dick move. This sucks. And the winner of the game. name is the boys because the answer was 3.61 inches and Chris was the closest without going over at 2.89. I was the closest technically but I'm shocked that it's that big soft because how big is so that means dicks are growing on average like two inches when they're hard I guess

two and a half we don't got to make this shit calculus dude it says the average oh my god you're right the average five five penis is five five point one six that's five wow I thought it was five five three point six one when you really think about it like even if your flaccid dick is like really grower and flaccid if you like push around and like whatever and like actually stretch it it's like I'm right well that was fun I feel good about that good job you guys I feel scammed but it's fine hey welcome back and look it's daylight outside I'm filming this before three in the morning like that's growth and you know why? Because I've been getting such good sleep lately because of Buffy. Also because I'm not eating

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Go to buffy.com, dot co, and enter code farmer at checkout. You will get 15% off of your Buffy order. So go to Buffy.com, enter code farmer at checkout and get 15% off. All right, have a good sleep, and I will see you later. Bye. Okay, now it's time for my favorite part of the show, and this one is very exciting because we have some very good voicemails. We're doing the viewer section where we answer you. your guys's emails and

voicemails, and I still don't have a name for this. I think it's too big for a name, you know? It'd be too generalizing. All right, so our first email is from Kimmy, and this is very exciting. She wanted to let us know

that she just graduated from Cal State Longby. Wow. She's looking right. We have a college graduate in the potty is. Very, very exciting. Wow. Congratulations. Very cool. guys um okay this next one is from katelyn all the emails said was jared and sandy so um there it is oh and i was like you know what yeah i can see it so they're a fat guy with a beard thank you katlin i mean sandy's looking good though wow okay and then alisa sent us a picture

of her in the merch and she says she loves the podcast she's been watching for over seven years i guess not the podcast, but me. So thank you so much, Alisa, and here's pictures of her Roggin the Conspiracy Merge. Wow. Nice. Wow, she makes that merch look good.

Wow. And then we got an email from Emily where she said she has a new ick unlocked. It's similar as only we've experienced recently. She said her new ick is watching people try to get onto pool floaties. Oh, my God. And I remember last time you guys were here,

I forced you guys to get on the pool. pool float that we have in the middle of the pool because I was like oh no it'll be easy just jump into the middle and then you did and then you gave us a false sense of confidence that it would be easier than it was yes for sure I wouldn't say you forced I mean for I feel like it's very hit or miss with people you know they either get on perfectly or it's there's a massive fall I was very excited it's very deep if you think about until I jumped on I felt like I just wet myself and I sat in it for like 20 minutes and then I jumped in it and completely flooded it and and felt exactly like I wet myself.

It felt like I was in a wet bed. And then, fun fact, we had to get naked to change, of course. And Rylen's mom saw my left butt sheet. She walked in on you. You know what? She walked in on me changing. Yeah. And they mysteriously disappeared for about 30 minutes.

Are you doing, Vicky? Hey, Vicki. I know you didn't forget about it. I came out and they're telling Rylan's family about it. And I was like, no, she didn't see anything. She didn't see anything. And you're like, no, she did. I'm like, no, she didn't.

And then his mom walks out and says, I didn't see anything. It's like, obviously. Oh, yeah. She did. Oh, you did. Okay, let's do some voicemails. Here we go. Hey, Shane Dawson podcast.

My name is Caitlin. So I have a quick question. I was interested in getting my boyfriend on one of those grower sweatshirts. Do it. But the thing is, I know he's a grower, because I'm. seen it, but like I don't want to like hurt his feelings, but I think it'd be pretty funny and like really cute if I got him a sweatshirt. So how should I go about it? So I just like get him one and just hand it to him. Be like, here you go or just like leave it as a surprise.

Well, thank you guys. Bye. Your merch is ruining lives. However you do it, we'd love to have you film it. This is so awful. This is like the worst trend. That's not even a trend yet. So good. It's so awful. Like, you know, whoa, whoa, whoa,

you're shaming right now. Yes. You're shaming right now. There's nothing awful about it. No. This is how the beginning of a revolution feels. I think,

no, I understand the sentiment. It's the like, your girlfriend walks in with a present. You're amped up. You open it and it's like, oh, is this an insult? Is it a joke?

Dude, it's fucking art. I think it's educational. It's amazing. I think it's educational. Everybody loves an educational game. It's normalizing. something that maybe that man his whole life has felt a certain way about. Right.

It's like saying, here, empower yourself. Yes. You're a grower. Yeah. I actually think it's positive. I think it's a great gateway to have an educational conversation. But you don't have a grower. I guess it depends.

Okay, my last piece, my last sentiment. Okay. It depends on how outwardly, like, obsessed you are with the growing penis. Like, if you've, like, made off comments about it before, that's like, oh, it's kind of small when it's not hard, you probably shouldn't be surprising your boyfriend with grower merch. Yeah, I think if you're giving them grower merch, you've got to be very

obsessed with the grower. And yeah. Yeah. All right, moving on. Hi, Shane. I just did the psychopath test on my husband, and he guessed it right immediately. Oh, shit. I don't know if he's going to kill me or I should divorce him.

Divorce him. I'm scared. Help, bye. I love that she ran to the other room to call a podcast voicemail when she's dealing with a psychopath who's probably looking in her windows at night. Okay, okay, first of all,

girl, we're with you. But no, I mean, being a psychopath doesn't mean you're gonna, you know, you're not gonna kill someone if you're a psychopath. I mean, some do, maybe, but. You might be his one and only, though.

He may or may not kill you. He might kill for her. I say go two out of three. Maybe ask him two more, you know? Also, maybe if he is a psychopath, he might become a good CEO and make you guys a lot of money for you and the family.

There you go. Yeah. Yeah. Also, might not be a psychopath. Right. Because of the one question. No, those tests are 100% accurate. Yeah.

What are you talking about? Get him some grower merch. Oh, if you got that question right, it's over, baby. He's definitely a psychopath. 100%. Oh, oh my God, I'm so excited. Speaking of psychopaths, though this is a fun new segment that is really just a rip-off of Am I the asshole from Reddit?

But this is a segment because a lot of the people watching are women, not excluding the men. Today's, today's new segment is called, am I a bitch? Mm-hmm. Okay. Am I a bitch for that? Okay, so I have some different voicemails, and we're going to listen, and their question is, am I a bitch? I mean, you made them question that. Hi, so I just saw your Instagram story, and you wanted a story about asking if I'm a bitch.

So I'm currently in a relationship right now, and I used to be a camera model, and my boyfriend doesn't really like that, but I want to do it again because the money's so good. Or, like, be a stripper or, you know, be a bottle girl or something, but he doesn't want me to, but I'm thinking about applying and going through. say without telling him. Am I a bitch? Let me know. Okay, love you guys. Bye. It's a bitch move. I don't ever like, I don't want to say someone is a bitch, but like that's acting, that might be acting like a bitch. Just tell him because, you know, you keep it 100. Oh. You know, don't be a bitch. I'd be in a hundred. I agree. You got to tell the guy. The bitch move is doing it behind his back. I think you can do it. You just have to be forefront about it. Because what's the next move? He finds out and you lie, which is a bitch move. Or, you know,

You fucking hurt these guys' feelings and who know? Just be honest. Sandy, that's the woman in the room. I agree. I think you have to be open and honest with it. And then you can tell them, hey, I want to do this. I want to be a bad bitch and get that paper. You know what I mean?

Turn it into something positive. You got me a rough time. But, yes, to be honest and open. Yeah, but I think just being open and honest and communicating the positive. Yeah. And once you get the money from being a cam. girl buy him some gromer. Yeah.

Just bonus advice. Maybe reassure him why ever he doesn't want you to do it, which probably has a lot to do with maybe some insecurities, whatever he doesn't agree with it. You know, if that's part of it, reassure him that it's not going to lead to you

doing anything shady or nothing like that. I think that's what most guys are worried about. And you gave three options. I think you should say I'm going to do one of them. So which one do you find the most... I would say don't strip. Yeah. I feel like don't strip.

Bottle grow. Why? Unless it's like a really. high-end club, you know what I mean? Danger zone, right? Just go right to porn or whatever. That's usually what happens. The Kim Girl at least is at home. It's strippers, only fans, porn. Just if you're going to go all it. B. B. B.

is a good compromise for to be with somebody who doesn't want you do anything. Cardi B went from stripping to being Cardi B. Oh, there's nothing wrong with stripping, but I do see how, like, in a relationship, you could fill a certain type of way about your partner stripping. I get it. Yeah. I feel like a lot of strippers watch. Shout out strippers.

I think there's a chance, though. Like a lot of people don't want to say these things to their significant others because they're significant others already made it feel like it's not a safe. Well, and also, who knows if this, if she has goals as a couple or just to her personally, financially, you know, I think talk about that. I think the only bitch move here is doing it behind his back because then you break his trust. We all agree. Don't lie. Lying is a bitch move.

Okay, we have one more and this one is from a male bitch. Okay, this is an am I the asshole. Basically, back in my, August or November I went on a date with this guy who literally did not have a tooth like he was toothless like he had to wear a retainer that had his missing tooth in it it was so weird I'm confused how many teeth but like I I ghosted him like am I the gas yes yeah I think so bro yeah dude you're at this that's a joke oh my dick okay listen one tooth missing is so like I feel like I've seen so many people with the retainer with the tooth on

where do you think it was is he talking like front tooth Does it matter? No. One of my favorite girls that I follow on Instagram. I know who you're talking about based off of what you just said. And she pops out her dentures and she's like, yeah. I don't.

And then she goes and then she pops them in and she's like, yeah, I'm a baddie, baddie. And then popped him out. She's iconic. Losing the tooth ain't that hard too. Like that guy, you could walk into, you can get punched tomorrow and lose a tooth. And then what? Everyone's going to drop you on your date. That's fucked up.

That's a dick move. Could also be the love of your life and you're writing him off because there isn't a tooth. There's always fixing you can get at one veneer, you know. It's like, I don't, maybe, I don't think you're very secure with yourself to a degree if you're not willing to be with someone just because of a tooth. So maybe do some inward work and don't be a dick. Maybe he's a teeth guy. Um, okay.

We're going to take a quick little break and when we come back, we have 90 snacks that are definitely going to kill us and conspiracy corners. See in a second. Hey, okay, I promise. I'm almost done interrupting. I know, this is annoying. Although, wait, let's light a candle. Let's like set the mood.

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Bye. Okay, we have two different snacks to try. One of them is expired and one of them's not. Wait, what? I got Gary. Okay, so. Is that real? So one thing we're going to do in a minute is we have a part two to the fruit roll-up

TikTok hack that changed our. alive. Sandy was not here for this. So basically you take a fruit roll up, you unwrap it, and then put ice cream in it, fold it, and it turned into a hard-shelled, like, amazing treat. Well, part two of that is people have been freezing go-gerts, rolling it in the fruit roll-up, and it turns into a beautiful... A go-gurt bleasy? A go-gurt bleasy. Well, blunt? It's like a go-gurt blunt. What's nice, and that, what's nice about this is it's already like fully formed for you to wrap. Yes. Okay, so these are a little cold and frozen, so we're going to warm these up with our hands.

Oh, I've already been doing that. Yeah, just a little bit. And while we're warming these up, I have our second snack. I'm so excited. I can't believe I found these. Pepsi came out with Pepsi Clear. Oh, yeah. Is it still like...

I got some. Just as awful or is it like a healthy? That got to be expired, right? How is it? So these are from Canada, and I guess Pepsi in Canada did a limited release in 2022. So these only experienced. fired a year ago, so it's not too bad. But yes,

it's Pepsi clear. Crystal Pepsi. It's like Crystal Beth. Yes, Crystal Pepsi. Wow, very excited about this. Smells like Pepsi. Mine had no fizz when I opened it. It's only a year old.

I feel like it tastes like Pepsi. It's like flat. Like on a serious tip. I guess I don't know, really. Wait, wait. But if you close your eyes, it tastes like soda to me. It tastes, it is just Pepsi, but it's clear.

That just shows you, what the fuck are they putting in Pepsi? Yeah, why? To make it that brown. It doesn't need that color. I do wish I was experiencing some termination. So were they just hope? Because it's hard for me to taste it without thinking it's flat and as a premonition.

I thought you were going to vomit versus. Were they just hoping it was going to take and then they'd spend less money on food die? Whoa, conspiracy. Hey, girl. I actually makes sense. Okay. Because I know food dice cheap, but when you're doing it, producing it at such a mass volume. I'm probably going to loki throw up because my cap, it looks brown.

What? Like my, do you see it? The little spots on my... What are you talking about? I'm done with the Pepsi. No, it looks, it's brow. Is it not brown? Show the camera.

I don't know. I don't know. I can't see it. It looks discolored. It looks discolored. Ew. Well, these were from a very... reputable girl in Canada.

What the hell does that mean? A very weaponable girls? Canadians would never try to poison us. It was so sweet. I will say though, mine didn't, you know when you opened up something for the first time and it breaks a seal?

Mine didn't. There's some random just sending us a bunch of Pepsi that's clear and we break it? Are we going to die? Yeah. Go Gert! Okay, so here we go.

Fuck it, go-gur. Well, first, I guess we got to open up the fruit roll-up. Yeah. Strawberry. I would do this, guys, as a technique, I'd start here, and I'd start pushing. And then I'd gradually just go down. It's always good to start pushing. I think this is, oh, yeah.

Oh, here she comes. Wow, it looks so good. I think mine's too warm. Oh, fuck. Okay, here we go. Okay. Yeah, I made mine a taco. Look at that.

Wow. Uh-oh. I don't like yogurt. I have sensitive teeth, so it kind of hurt. Oh, you don't like yogurt? It's very cold. It makes it grow up like so chewy that it's stuck in all of my teeth. Yogurt sucks. That tastes like nothing.

What the fuck is? That's what gogurt tastes like? The flavor is? No, eat the goger bite. I'm loving it. I hate it. When you bite into it, it's almost like why I would imagine biting into glass. Tate or it feels like. Okay.

But it's good. Okay. I have one more food item. But it's also kind of not a conspiracy. I would say it's more of a myth. I could eat. I guess our first myth theory. Okay.

So there is a myth that you cannot drink an entire LaCroix or bubbly water without burping. Well, I hope you enjoy. We're all going to have to chug it as fast as we can. Well, at least it's really cold because that makes it easy. See, we've got like rude damp bubblies? Fuck. This is a challenge into itself. I got a bottle of water earlier, like a 16 ounce,

and I tried to chug it next to the gas station. And I got to the way where I can barely breathe and I spit like half of it up on my shirt. I look ridiculous. I hate these. Fuck. These are holes. Yeah, right.

You steal them every single. day. Well, yeah, because I put my little flavoring in it. And then I go to the fridge and they're gone. Can we put flavoring in it? Is that illegal? Yes. Okay, fine. That elms. But it's a bunch of carbonation. Of course you're going to burp. Well, but there's a theory that, what is the theory?

Yeah, what are we doing? You can't do it without burping? You can't do it without burping. Can I do it with the straw? Of course. I don't want to mess up my lips. Carbonation. Sure, but we have to do as fast as we can and we have to see if any of us can not burp the whole time. This is going to be disgusting for everyone listening.

Some people might jack off to it. I would. Oh, shit. I just jumped a bunch of it. He's pouring it out. You can't drink. That's spilling all over yourself. All right, three, two.

You can't really chug them. It's so cold. It hurts my teeth. It's so cold. It's so cold. I can't do it. It really hurts everything. There's no way you can chug it. Dude, I almost did it right now, and I'm pretty proud of myself for that.

It's a nightmare. I totally found. Oh, it burned! Why does it burn? It's so cold. It's so cold. It's so cold. There's a million tiny bubbles blowing up in your throat.

I like to like push the bubbles up against the top of my mouth and let it burn. How about this? If you keep it in your mouth is good. Is it dangerous? Can we add that if it's in your mouth? I'm pushing it. This sucks. Oh my God, I'm pushing it down.

This sucks. We're gonna have such bad stomach aches and have to fart if we don't burn. Wait, let's see. Wait, it's, oh my gosh. God. I have to burn. Oh my god. Shit no. Oh my god. It's like right here. I thought we can hold it.

Mine's like right here. Oh, there we go. I was thinking about it. It's gonna happen. I just didn't fuck it. I just left. I haven't done it. I'm still left.

I feel like that was it. You're out. You're out. I just swam it. It hurts. It hurts. Damn. There it is.

Chris is the winner. Oh my God. Gross That smell like puke Eok Do you guys have baking soda? Yes You should put a little bit of baking soda

In a cup with some of that And chug it Dude, you'll burp your brains up Wait, let's do it No, you want to double down? I want to see that Well, we're gonna fix him Somebody put him over and burp

Someone burp up A few moments later Chug it It looks like combo Okay Just chug it all in one sipable box Like it's shot If that doesn't make you burp

You're like not human. If that doesn't make him burp, we're going to do more things. Because it's fun. I'm like, what's happening? Well, Friday was just doing it.

I said I'd burp you. Get over here. It didn't work. Get over here, Chris. Wow. Well, keep us updated. Let us know throughout the rest of the show. If you feel a burp coming,

I hope you do. Oh my God. Wow. Okay. Let's get into a conspiracy corner. Okay, this is one I just found out about, and I can't believe I'd never. heard about this. This is so smart. Okay, there is a theory that you know when you go to Best Buy or any

electronic store and they have all the TVs on display and how the cheaper TVs like look kind of worse, like the picture quality is worse. There is a theory that the employees are instructed to go into the settings and make the picture look worse so that you buy the more expensive TV. So this is really a cheap trick because it's telling you before you buy the cheap TV, go play with the settings. Be like, can I get the remote play with the settings to see if it's actually a shitty TV? Guess how much I paid for a 32-inch smart TV with Netflix and everything like that? How much? I want to guess.

I want to guess. 32-inch. We recently had to get a new team. $99. That's pretty close. $105. Can you believe it? That's it.

105 bucks. And I will tell you. It's worth $20. Picture ain't all that great. It never connects to the internet. Why did you get that? Because I just thought. I'm sure it's good.

You know, I'm not going to spend another $50 for a name brand if I could just get this one, but it's proven to not be great. Isn't TV pretty important, though? To me, not to everyone. Yeah, no, it is Jane's utmost priority in the house. I would say it's also Jared's. I don't think it is. I was just feeling real frugal in a moment.

All right. No, I get it. Oh, okay, this isn't a theory. I just forgot to say this earlier in the podcast when we were talking about 90s, food. So I still want to say it. So did you know that the co-founder of Ben and Jerry, Ben Cohen, has no sense of smell and no sense of taste? How? Is it crazy? So he goes off of mouth feel. That's why all the ice, Ben and Jerry's are like crazy, like weird chunks in it. What? That makes sense. I knew a cake growing up that had no sense of smell and he would eat

anything. Wow. Yeah, he would eat just straight mayonnaise out of the jar. Like he couldn't taste anything, but he could only sense the texture of food. Wow, he's really missing out because yeah. Manay's out of the jar is good. What? Okay, oh, speaking of 90s, we have, this was sent in by AJ. So, AJ said, hey, so I was watching

an old Care Bears tape from the 90s. There are certain things hidden in this care bears tape. Help. So if you can see Cupcakes. Okay, so AJ thought that they looked, oh, that one. Come on. They look like hearts or vaginas? Dix. Oh, what?

The tops of dicks. Just the tip. Wait, what? You don't see the tip of a dick with the heart in the mouth of the dick? Yes, I was seeing the hearts. I didn't see the dicks. You don't know. Wow, your minds are in the gutter.

I see more a vagina than any. You guys love dicks. You see a vagina? More than a penis. You don't see a dickhead? Oh, they're. Oh, those are penises. Come on.

Look at them running away from them. Those ones. Those ones, yes. And they're coming at the same time. Look at that big old one in the middle, that pointy one. Okay, yeah. So that was a care bears. Anyways, so yeah, there's penises and...

Okay, I have a Mandela effect. So I got a lot of emails about this one. It's kind of dumb, but I'm going to do it because it is a part of the early 2000, so it goes with our theme today. Yes. Elle Woods in the movie Legally Blonde. Just seen it for the first time. So good. Okay.

What color is her car that she pulls up in when she comes to Harvard? Silver. Gold. For some reason, my brain's pink or like just black or something. I don't know. Oh, interesting. Okay. I'm going to say white.

Well, the car that L. Woods pulls up in is black. So you were right, but everybody thinks it's pink. I mean, look it, people are renting out pink cars to be L. Woods. They're having pink car parties where they're all L. Woods in the pink car. And that's how everybody remembers it, but it was black. That's crazy. I think it's because everything is so pink in the movie that you just assume. Isn't there too?

Is it always black? I don't know. Well, in the second movie, she was running for president, I think. And I think the car was blue. And maybe they're like also combining. Barbie things because they're both like cute. What is the thing in that movie that the like the dance or something like that?

Ben and Snap. The Ben and Snap. I remember that part. That was funny. You be. And snap. Yeah. Ben and Snap. Okay, so you know a few episodes back when we were talking about Jenna Ortega? We were talking about Jenna Ortega and we were talking about how she manifested being in Wednesday that clip that went viral. So I got a bunch of emails about this.

There is a clip from 10 years ago or more of Tom Holland, and this is what he said. What kind of superhero would I want to play? Maybe Spider-Man in like 10 years' time. Maybe. Get ready for the reboot of the reboot? The reboot of the reboot, if they made one. How old is he? What?

Manifested it. Gosh, these people's manifestations work so much better than me. He also, somebody asked him what his celebrity crush was back then, and he said Zendaya. You're kidding. You're with her. I know. I need to talk to this. man. How's he getting everything he wants?

I don't know. Tanya's dog. Manifested his whole thing. Wow, good for him. Good for him. Maybe just crazy and that's all he ever cared about is and die in Spider-Man. Well, it worked. It was all for that. The best Spider-Man. Okay, this isn't really a conspiracy, but it goes to the 90s theme and I thought it was kind of crazy.

Jared, you probably already know about this because it involves prison. So now that you just know a lot about prison. So in the 90s, see-through technology became like a thing, right? Everybody had the see-through phones and the TVs. The Mac. I think we had that phone. Yes. And like little cassette player.

So Jared, do you know the reasoning for this? Do I know the reasoning why it's see-through in jail? Oh, I guess I already gave it away. Because, so you can't hide anything in it is why they have it in jail. Yeah, so what happened was phones, TVs, electronics, things like that. People would bring them into prisons and hide things in them. So then the prison started making it illegal and you had to have every piece of technology be see-through so that they could see if anybody's hiding weapons or, hiding drugs or hiding things inside of the electronics.

It's like backpacks nowadays. Yes. So the companies would have to make see-through versions of their stuff, TVs and phones and stuff. And then the companies were like, well, let's just turn this into a trend so we can just sell them to everybody and make it like an 90s thing. And it worked. Or maybe they're conditioning kids for prison. Or that.

And I did love the Seethrer stuff. Way more plausible. And now it's making a comeback. Everybody's loving Seethr again. Really? I mean, think about it. You send your kid, you know, if it's a public score or something, a big gated. area with big buildings they get one hour outside and they go home to a see-through phone oh you're saying

kids are in prison already i'm just saying i'm just saying girl interesting um okay oh this is just kidding this is another thing so you know you know butterfly clips like in the 90s they become very popular girls would put butterfly clips in their hair so everybody had butterfly clips right so this is something that i found out we were at the bank i don't know if you notice this but the woman that was checking us out of the bank she had an orchid behind her and on the orchid there was a butterfly clip holding like the stem to the fucking thing on the orchid and i was like oh that's interesting it's like it works and it's cute it's like a little butterfly in the orchid and then i was like wait a minute was that what those fucking butterfly clips were actually

for and i googled it and they were there were butterfly for plants and then people in the 90s were like oh let's turn into a fucking fashion trend because not enough people are buying our stupid orchid butterflies no wow isn't that fucking crazy do you think Jennifer Aniston just put one in her hair and then everyone did it? I mean, maybe, but yeah, I mean, the innovation of that. I think it's genius. I'm not overly

familiar with it, but is the girl in the slide, is that excessive or is that like... Or is that how many butterfly clips would be like, oh, yeah, it's pretty excessive. That's chill. I mean, that's the vibe. Listen, and I think that was kind of big in my day, you know what I was

in school? What would be like... What you had to do was put them right here in your part, put him right close to each other, and like a little bit far apart. So it really wasn't doing a ton. Wow, we should figure out. Like, we should look at a product that everybody's using for something and, like, come up. Create a new version for it.

And then, wow, that is an incredible. Wow. Because the TVs, the butterfly clips. What's next? That's crazy. Okay. So this last thing, I probably shouldn't just be throwing in, like, a podcast. I feel like this is something that I really should do a deep dive on because it's fucking insane.

Have you guys heard of the, arcade game, Polybius. I probably pronounced it wrong. Polybius? Polybius? Polybius. Polybius? That probably is what it is. Polybius?

No, still no. Okay, so Polybius. It's a 1981 arcade game that is a part of a conspiracy and an urban legend. The legend describes the game as a part of government-run, crowdsourced psychological experiments based in Portland, Oregon. So what they're saying is, in the 80s, there was this game, Polybius, and kids would play it, and they would get side effects. They'd start throwing up.

They would have trouble sleeping. They would start, you know, being hypnotized, basically. They'd have all these weird side effects. And then the game just randomly was gone. And then, years later, kids would start talking about the game, and everybody would be like, that never existed. What are you talking about? But the kids that remember that game said, yeah, I would get sick.

I get addicted to it. I was playing. Every time you say sick or throw up, I'm thinking, Me too. Fucking a gogert boot roll-up, bluesie, followed by slamming a Lecroy. is rough on my stomach right now. I'm feeling sick.

That was like a bad idea. Yeah, it's really, getting through this is really hard. Like, rough, okay. So a lot of them also remember, there's been interviews of them grown up, and they remember that there was men in black, like standing outside of the arcade. They remember adults watching over them really weird.

So, yeah, they're saying that these games were created by the government as a way to test psychological experimenting on kids, like things that they would, you know, watch and get data from it. use it in mind control or other things that they were doing in the government, which is pretty crazy. But there's a lot of people out there who say they remember this game. And then everybody's saying, no, that game never existed. I was just going to ask if you guys remember that game. I don't.

I don't remember it. It sounds like it might have been a regional thing to Oregon. And Oregon's pretty weird nowadays. Isn't that their slogan? Yeah. Keep Oregon weird or keep Portland weird. So not to get too conspiracy about it. But fuck it. Why not? I mean, for sure real. Like TikTok, obviously. We talk about TikTok and how the fact that they literally are inside of your phone getting all your information, getting your biometric data, scanning your face, they're doing all these things, getting your heart rate.

They're trying to see if they can get your heart rate from your fingers on the fucking screen. They're trying to get all this information. Sandy shook. I've never heard that one. That is terrified. Oh, yeah. Like they want to track your face while you're watching the few page to see, like, if you're laughing.

How you're emoting. Wow. So they're trying to do all that, right? Like that is what they're investing in. So it would make sense that back in the day in the 80s, instead of phones, kids didn't have phones. They were all in arcades. They were all playing.

They were all in front of that big screen, playing the games, nonstop, getting addicted to it. So why wouldn't the government see that as the perfect way to get some data? Have you heard of MK Ultra? Oh, yeah. Mind control, right? Well, it's when they basically, they had a brothel, and they would dose their water or their coffee or whatever with LSD. And people were jumping out of windows and fucking going out of their line. But they wanted to see the long, like, what they could do to somebody under the effects of LSD.

So they do that. The government is a shit like that. So I can't imagine they don't like have an arcade thing. want to spy on kids and it's not even just spying it's there's another article I read about it where they were saying they were trying to brainwash kids to want to grow up to be in the army or something which kind of makes

sense because you start thinking about shooting games and you're like damn shooting games really took over and every kid wanted to learn how to play shooting games and get better at it and then time crisis I love time crisis right and then now not to I'm not like anti-governance whatever but I will say isn't

the military they're like invested in film right in movies they pay for some movies to get like Top Gun. Didn't they invest in that movie? So good. Like the military will pay to help create movies that are pro-military. That would make sense to make it feel cool. To make it feel cool and stuff, but also like, you know, putting it out to the world.

It's like a little bit. It is a little bit. Being a recruiter is like a job. Like it's a job for someone to recruit people, you know? And like that's why they have the at the mall, it's like real cool. And they'll invite you with, yeah, dude, have some pizza, man. This is all we do and hang out. And then they recruit you.

And it's like, what the fuck? I worked at a mall and they were. two recruiters that would go every time you were of a certain age and you were a guy, they would like walk up and immediately try to, try really hard to recruit you. And they tried to recruit me and then I was like, I'm very gay and they were like, bye. And I'm sure there's some of them that really feel like they're doing a service and they're good and they're just trying to see who's interested. Have you ever seen Top Gun? Yeah, but if they make a movie, you can be, yeah, it's just like in Top Gun, Dan. Have you seen Top Gun? You know?

Well, yeah. So if you guys have any history with Polybius or your parents do or anybody you know let us know send me some emails because i want to talk to somebody who remembers that game because i'm very invested in this because it scares a fuck out of me um you know what else scares a fuck out of me your husband you rock hard giving us a recap oh my gosh so inappropriate i can't stand just yet okay i'm so excited sorry this is the last time i'll interrupt but i wanted to show you guys a new merch and i know it took a long time to actually get this going but we finally have farmer merch so this is the farmer crewneck it's like a forced green it has like the farmer university vibe.

I wanted to do a crew neck instead of a hoodie. Just to switch it up. We have the grower hoodies, obviously. So, oh, I don't know if we're doing this, but we should package them, right? Like, you can get a farmer and then get your boyfriend a grower. Wait, that's a good idea. Or listen, if you're not a relationship and you just like to farm.

You know what I mean. Or do you? I don't even know what I mean. Whatever. Farmer merch. So excited. And yes, obviously, I'm giving a percentage of Sandy since this is her idea. And yeah, I'm just really excited that we finally have it.

And something we've been doing a lot. on the show lately is zoning out. And realizing the zoning out really is a superpower. Somebody's talking about something that you don't care about or if you start fighting about the blue and black dress again and you're over it, all you're gonna do is zone out. So we have this purple shirt which says sorry I zoned out and it's kind of like 90s like vintage vibes. And then favorite is this black hoodie that has the same design sorry I zoned out. And yeah, it feels very like distressed and vintage and I love it. So yeah check out the merch code farmer for 10% off And, yeah, hopefully you guys like it

and I'm really excited about it. Okay, that's it. I'm done. I will leave you. Goodbye. Oh, I'm sick of my face. But you know what I'm not sick of? This crew neck. Okay, I'm going to go. Rayband meta glasses are powered by MetaI so you can get real-time answers. Hey, meta. How bougie is Jade Garden?

It's a trendy spot. What's a color that pairs with this top? Consider dark, earthy colors, charcoal or black. What are some good first date topics? Consider discussing favorite travel destinations or your favorite books. Get suggestions, inspiration, and answers from your glasses. Rayban meta-glasses, iconic style meets meta-a-I.

This podcast is brought to you by Carvana. Buying a car shouldn't eat up your week. That's why Carvana made it convenient. Car buying that fits around your life, not the other way around. You can get pre-qualified for an auto loan in just a couple of minutes and browse thousands of quality car options, all within your terms, all online, all on your schedule. buying into a few clicks and not a full

week's endeavor. Finance and buy your car at your convenience. On Carvana. Financing subject to credit approval. Additional terms and conditions may apply. Life camera action, Ryland's recap is about to happen. Rylans recap. On today's episode of the Shane Dawson podcast,

the couch crew is dressed as the cast of friends. Give us the sitcom laugh. Or a plot. They're all dead. Oh, Sandy's back. In the best turn of events, Sandy is back starring as Phoebe,

Ryland's rock hard Rachel. Oh, Tom Holland is a time traveler. In Tom Holland News, manifest like that man who got everything he wanted and more. Oh, being toothless is cool.

We're good with it. Oh, you are in fact the asshole. if you leave somebody for being toothless. Yeah. And, hey, dude, we have fans that have graduated college. That's huge. Huge. And huge.

Everyone who's graduated college, our hats are off to you. We also did learn the average flaccid penis in America is three inches and... 3.61. 3.61 inches. Get your measuring tapes out. Viggy saw my butt. Endjuring. End jarring potential affair news.

My mom has come on to Jared's naked body. That was a weird way of saying it, but I like it. What's that mean? I think she was meaning like she liked it and she wanted it. Yeah, I've got Joey Rock Hard. Right. Oh, Sandy's biggest fear is random people in her windows. Whose isn't?

Well, it's because I do it as a joke. Right. I don't know if that's a joke. Do you feel like it's a joke? I mean. I do. After you're scared, then you're like, I laugh, yeah.

But then what happens when it actually happens? Well, he's probably testing my reflexes. Right, exactly. How are they? Pretty good. Better. Oh, I was texting your reflexes. It did really weird.

And TikTok's food hack fails. You should not wrap your gogurt into a fruit roll-up. Go-Gert believes these aren't the business. And we have discovered you can, in fact, not burp after drinking a whole can of LaCroix, bubbly, or any sparkling beverage. Gerd seems to be the cheat code Butterfly clips Oh yeah

Butterfly clips are actually for plants Not for hair Breaking news Butterfly clips originated for orchids And now girls are putting them in their hair And evidently wearing like 10 of them Is a chill about It's the vibe

It's like $30 of butterfly clips What the fuck did we talk? The Carebear's Beinuses I don't know what the new story about the game is Oh the boys won the game Oh my gosh And shocking cheating Scandal news.

The boys won on technicality of getting a bonus that wasn't actually true. But we can justify it because Chris did remember Holidaysburg. Oh, right. He remembered Hollidaysburg. Yeah, dude, that was the whole winner of the game right there. That was crazy. That's why I can sleep tonight knowing you won.

You can't hate on that. Oh, right. We all drank expired soda. From Miranda. Food poisoning news. Shane's getting us expired food off of Etsy or eBay, and he's trying to kill us. Oh, please God. Tell me that was not. Etsy? Was it?

Dude, I can't just drinking shit from Etsy, dude. That's rough. Why? I forgot that we drank that in the mix. We're all gonna do.

We're running for the toilets after this. I gotta go fucking shit and burp. Best buy their TV quality. Oh my gosh. And a cheap pack that Jared did not follow himself.

No, what's crazy? Okay. All right. Well, thank you guys so much for watching today's episode of the Shane Dawson podcast for all of us. All of us are. Shut up. I feel like I can see your dick right now. It's because I'm a shower and I'm not a part of your fucking community. Oh. All right. Well, I'm sick of you telling everyone I'm hard in a skirt. All right. Everyone, go follow Sandy on YouTube. Yes. On Instagram, we'll have it all linked in the news.

description section below are you working on new videos yes perfect perfection wonderful we love to see it listen to this podcast every other week on all your audio platforms on youtube as well we love you so much thank you for watching and enjoying our show and we'll see you right back here in two weeks on shane's show it's all of our shows oh it's called the shame dawson podcast i know i should change that to what i don't know growers and showers well there you guys go hopefully enjoyed whatever the hell that was uh i did i think we had a lot of fun here. We made a lot of mistakes. You had a cute little brother moment

that none of us joined, so... What? Just now. Chris, Sandy and I were, like, out of the loop of whatever you guys were just laughing so hard about. Really? I felt like everybody was loving it.

I mean, it was fun. Oh, okay. Well, hopefully you guys enjoyed it. And we're going to fucking go right now. Bye! See you later. You know what I'm going to do.