The Shane Dawson Podcast - Pop Culture Conspiracy Theories! Ariana Grande, TJ Maxx, and Spotify PLANTS!

Episode Date: July 7, 2024

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Hi, I'm Danny L'Priori. Ever get the feeling you're being watched online? It's not paranoia. It's data brokers. These companies collect your personal information, including your browsing habits, where you live, and even who you're related to, and they sell it to the highest bidder. That's where ORA comes in. ORA automatically removes your personal info from data broker sites and keeps it off. It also monitors the dark web, safeguards your device.

devices, alerts you to real-time threats, and more. Start your free trial at order.com slash control. That's a-U-R-A-com slash control for your free trial. So, eyeball tracking. Really creepy and scary, right? Well, then Apple puts out a new thing on our phones that now all of us have. Check this out. Eye tracking.

What? Uh-huh. And now look. Oh! Is that real? Yes. Do we have that right now? I'm going to do that.

That's cool. I like that. Hey, welcome back to whatever the hell this is, Hospital Edition. Yay. We have two, count them, two of these co-hosts. We're in the hospital this year. Not just the hospital, the ER.

The ER? I was actually more than the ER. I was in the U.R. No, we are very lucky that this podcast is happening. It was rocky for a minute. We didn't know fully what was going to happen. But thank God. Thank the universe.

Thank all of you guys for your thoughts and prayers. Chris is here. Thanks, guys. Finally figured out what happened. Also, spoiler alert, Spencer was also in the hospital. Much less of a big deal. I didn't know that until just now. Really?

We were talking for like an hour, setting everything up. Oh, my God. He's so nonchalant on his health issues. Okay. So before we get into all of that. That's your teaser. Stick around. Listen, I'm just happy that we're here, baby.

I'm happy that everybody's okay. Fingers crossed. I know. We were brainstorming because then you're going out of town and I said, whatever, we could do it in the car. All set up all these cameras. I'll figure it out. Like, if Chris ain't here, I don't know what I'm going to do.

Like, this podcast is going to look like trash. However, it would be kind of cool to do it in a hospital room. Oh, my. You know, think about that. No one's ever done that. Okay, I did think about setting up an iPad and having Chris FaceTime from the hospital. And then we could like try hospital foods And then I was like, is this insensitive?

Okay, so yes, before we get into all of those huge life updates Well, now this seems so stupid. Fashion update! What's he wearing? Fashion update, what's he wearing? What's the outfit for the day? What's got Jared looking sexy? Why does Chris dress oh, so gay?

What's a shirt is shing by now? That's why his money's gone away. Fashion update. What's he wearing? What's the outfit for the day? Fashion update. Fashion update, fashion update. Spinter and Rylan also look gay.

Ryland looks like a manly gay, though. He looks, you look masked, dude. Okay, I got a targeted ad for like an M&M shirt where he's like shirtless with a chainsaw and like a Jason mask. I don't know, but I saw it and I was like, that's my baby. Vintage shady right there. And you're like really throwing us back to the 90s with these cut off denim jackets. Well, I got an ad for the denim jacket too.

God, AI is really working. And then I got that out. And then I got an ad for this one, which is like a very like Aver-Levin Blink 182 one. And I have my new pig shirt. Ooh, the embroidered. What are you going to do with all of these clothes that none of us are going to wear in public?

Donate to gay charities. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, we do. We do. Yeah, we donate it to like a charity that like helps age research. It's out. Yeah.

Yeah. Out the closet. Yeah. Out the closet thrift. Well, pride's over. Also the new. shirt is so cool genuinely I need seven. Thank you. Okay now let's move on because I feel like we have to just get to this because guys Chris figured out what is going on in his body. Well this is after a

second ER trip since we've seen Chris last on the podcast. He had to go back. Yeah so what happened? So like Ryland said, I went to the ER that first time they assumed two things. Maybe it's an infection. Maybe it's appendicitis. They were talking about removing my appendix and they gave me the option to actually. but I was like, oh, is it that? Should I remove it? And they were like, you have the option, too. I don't think it's that, though. And I'm like, then why would I remove it? And they were like, just to check it off the list.

And I was like, I don't know if I want a surgery. And then, like, you can't work for like a month, though. And I was like, I don't think I can do that. Like, antibiotics might take care of it. So I took antibiotics for a week. It seemed like it was helping things, but then I got much worse one night, morning. I don't remember. Went to the ER and they were like doing all my vitals and stuff.

And they were like, oh, we need to admit you. to stay here overnight. And I was like, what? That's never happened to me before. Why am I staying overnight? They were like, your blood pressure is way too low and your heart rate is way too high. And you have a fever. And they're like, so that's a bad combination of things you need to stay. We need to monitor you. Homophobic. Thank you. And so then they kept me and, yeah, I stayed for three full days, maybe three and a half. Were you getting any answers inside of those three days? I was just on into two questions. What flavor jelly? did you have?

No, was it bad? Mashed potatoes? Okay, one at a time. Sorry, keep going. I did get mashed potatoes. The first day, I couldn't eat or drink anything. It was just IVs. And because they were like, oh, you definitely have,

my white blood cell count was so high. They're like, you definitely have some type of infection. So they didn't know what. They couldn't find out where they kept doing tests for three days. And in the meantime, they were just giving me every antibiotic through my IV, like, known demand. They were just like, here's another IV. Here's another antibiotic.

And another one. Here's a different name and another. one and another one. They just kept coming. And because of it, I was, like, not feeling great and asleep 90% of the time I was there and, like, so out of it. And I just kept, like, I'd wake up a day later and they'd be like, yeah, nothing's better yet. Keep going. And they'd give me more antibiotics the next day. They were like, his white blood cell counts actually up, which is worse. So he's going the opposite direction. I was like, oh, no. And then they said something about sepsis, which I didn't know what that means. So I kind of just ignored it, but my mom made a very

scary face and later on because she made a scary face i googled it and sepsis is like life-threatening it's like where you have an infection that infects all of your organs and it spreads to like every organ basically and so i had that and my organs were like shutting down essentially which is why my blood pressure kept dropping why you know whatever yeah so like where are you at now i i feel like so you're septic that day where are you at now moving forward yeah are you good the All my vitals, like my heart already went down. My blood pressure was better. That's why they allowed me to leave.

And I seemed good enough to walk around on my own and whatever. And so because of that, they allowed me to leave. I'm still taking an antibiotic for 10 days. That's a very specific one for like a gut infection or whatever. And I should be good to go. I do have to follow up. I do have to get retested and whatever. You haven't been feeling good in your gut, though, for months.

Ever. They literally called me an enigma. They're like, we can't figure out what wrong with you. Oh, yeah. It actually was. Remember phenom enigma? Septic enigma. Septic enigma is iconic.

Oh my God. It sounds like a shit. You don't know what it is. No, septic enigma is a fucking battler. That's cool. Okay, sorry. But, yeah, so I mean, yeah, I'm okay now. I'm so happy to know what it was because I just felt crazy for a long time.

And then so it's not something that would be prolonged, like it will get solved and then you're. Yeah, the antibiotics should. completely eliminated. Did this test the relationship? In terms of the relationship, he was amazing. He like, because again the first time, he's the one who brought me to the hospital and like, picked me up, put me in a wheelchair,

took me to the ER. This time he was there every day, like, you know, just at my bedside. Feeding you caters. They were like, you have to leave at a certain time. He's like, I'm going to stay. I'm not leaving. Did you have a catheter? No. No. Good for you. Catherers. Yeah, it's like a tube that they stick in your

urethory. I heard when they like rip it out is the worst part. This is like 14 years ago, I had surgery, I had a catheter, and it was in for a few days. And what happens is it starts to mold around your skin because it's been in there for a while. So they have to really pull it out. And the nurse literally holds me down, and she gives me a rag to put in my mouth. And she goes, bite on this. And I said, why?

And she goes, it's going to feel like I have a blow torch up your dick. And I said, what? And then she went and yanked it out. And literally felt like my dick. was literally like full-on blow torch up my dick. Is that why you have a wide peehole? Oh, the origin story. What?

I'm just wondering, like, did the catheter give you a, do you have a wide peehole? I guess I do. And his name's not good because of it. Ouch. Okay. Whoa. Also, I think it's because, this is a lot for the first 10 minutes of the show. So, Chris is okay.

Thank God. And we had another. Hospital emergency. Yeah, what happened? Mine is so much less than mine is, like, going after trends. You're a hospital emergencies a little bit. I would say stitches isn't nothing. You got stitches?

Yeah, so have them in. Oh my gosh, dude. I don't even see them or not. Stitching. Westside? We've got to take every knife away from Spencer. Yeah, literally. This is like, it's almost a year from, I don't think I, I don't know if I was talking

on the podcast last time, but I severed my tendon in my finger last 4th of July. But, yep, the other day I was just cutting some things. slip cut like deep in my finger had to go get stitches wait was it on the holiday last year fourth of july i was cleaning up i like hosted people before the july and i was cleaning up and i was washing a knife and it slipped and it cut me it on like midnight cannot be with knives on holidays it was fourth of july last year and father's day this year that's true it's the holidays you just can't handle i can't handle the holiday spirit you need plastic cutlery dude yeah i'm going yeah but this wasn't nearly as bad right you're okay no no but i did do it and i was like fuck did i just like sever another

Because it ruined my summer last summer because I had a cast all summer. Wow. Well, cheers all around for our healthy, happy, whole host. Oh, my God. Well, speaking of big life updates, see, now everything feels like irrelevant. You guys survived. And we're about to talk about, you know what? Just as important.

Oh, yeah. Yardsale. Guys, I'm so excited. I'm freaking out tomorrow. Literally tomorrow, I have my alarm set. Me and Rylan and Jared and Sandy are going to. to a yard sale. Oh, yeah.

Now, if you guys don't know, Jared and Sandy have a series on there. I'm calling it a series now because you have like a bingeable amount of episodes. That's huge. That's huge. These garage sale videos are my drug. I literally watch these. When these drop, everything's done. Guys, if you have not checked them out, go check them out right now.

There's a playlist on Sandy's channel. It's incredible. So you guys go to yard sales. You haggle. You film the process sometimes secretly. And it's so uncomfortable and cringy. Now, this is for me what I'm nervous. stuff because first of all being like in your recent one that when you walked up to that woman and

tried to get her to give you a deal on the dog leash and the look she gave you when you asked her it cheaper would you do a dollar she wanted me to buy three of them for three dollars each so i made her break up the pack and then give it to me for only one dollar she literally went she was very much over it very animated oh yeah i if i was there in person like i would have shit myself so i don't know how I'm going to do that. Sometimes they'll say like, that's the goal. 50 cents and you guys are like, nah, it's too much. I'm like, what did you expect, 25?

Well, you know, if they're serious about letting it go, yeah, they'll throw out another offer. I'm not as serious as buying it as they might be about selling them. So what's the plan? Am I like, are you going to teach us how to haggle, like teach us how to get a deal? Or are you and Sandy going to do that and me and Ryan and just stand in the back and go, well, no, it's going to be a mix. I think maybe you'll be shadowing us on the first garage sale, kind of, see the ropes, and then we'll give you some pointers.

And then I'm hoping by number two or number three, you guys are going to be negotiating like pros. I don't have an issue negotiating. Shane would probably be like, I'll just give you 20. Yeah, that would be me. I'd give more because I'd be like, oh, but it's your things. Yeah, it's going to long.

Well, then it might be a little bit of a challenge with you. But we'll get there. We'll get there. Now, is there anything that's off limits? Like, I saw, like, we were watching one of your yardtale videos, and Sandy was going to buy a bowl. And Rylan had a gutterall reaction. He's like, oh, don't buy a bull.

bowl from a yard sale like that somebody's bowl and then i was like well but restaurants reuse and i said oh you're right okay yeah i typically wouldn't buy undergarments that's like definitely off topic i wouldn't buy a hat just because you don't know people have lice you know and also like a mattress or blow-up mattresses anything like that i wouldn't buy okay yeah anything has been too close things i also wouldn't buy it from t j max there you go that's that's the thing if you wouldn't buy it from tj max don't buy it off of someone's front lawn okay good Hey, sorry to interrupt the show. Please don't go anywhere.

I'm so excited to tell you about something I've been waiting for for so long. As you guys know, I have had my pig logo for, oh, my God, almost five years now. Pigiversary. And now to take us into this new podcast conspiracy world era, if you will. Let's not. Can you imagine an heiress tour? Let's, let's not. Oh, I can smell my hair.

Burnt popcorn. That's what that was giving. So yes, I wanted to bring the pig into this new chapter. And as you guys can see, I'm wearing it right now. This is the Conspiracy Illuminati Pig logo, the revamped logo for this next chapter of my life. And I love it so much. Okay, so this logo you guys have seen every time we do conspiracy corner flashes. And it's also embroidered, which I'm so excited.

So if you guys can see, I went through so many shirt samples. I know that sounds lame. Like, I want there so many. But I really did. I think like 11 different shirt samples. I wore them all throughout the week, narrowed it down, voted with my friends and my family. And we all came up with the same one. So this shirt is so soft.

It has like a nice thick neck. And the sleeves are longer than normal. So it's like it covers your elbows. I just love it. My favorite shirt I've ever made. My favorite shirt blank I've ever had. It's really high quality. And I love it.

And because my goal was to make it my everyday shirt, like the shirt I'm going to wear every single day for the next however many years, I wanted it to be embroidered. So it felt, you know, a little fancy. So as you can see, it looks like pink paint dripping. It has the pig inside of the Illuminati Triangle. I love it so much. So hopefully you like it.

If you do, please check it out. Go to the merch store, Shane Dossommerch.com. Right now, it is available for sale, but it's a pre-order, which basically just means, like, we're not going to make too many of them. We're only going to make what you guys order. So if you really want one, please pre-order it to let us know that you like it. And yeah, I hope you like it as much as I do. All right, I'll see you later in the episode.

And, yeah, I'm going to keep stepping. That's not my catchphrase, I promise. Bye. So one of my favorite things we've ever done is on the last episode, Spencer went into chat GPT, and he asked them to write an episode of our podcast for us. So we had so much fun doing that. I was like, can we please do that again? But I said, I was like, please give more information.

Like, I want you to really explain the quirks of all of us and give the prompt. And you, do you want to explain what you did? Yes. So this one is a lot more in depth. There's a scene change. There's two, we go somewhere. Oh, my God. Yeah.

So I gave, I gave a, I said three to four pages long, you know, gave all of us. And I gave a description. I said Chris has been sick in the hospital lately, and he's also gay, which is what we said last time. Ryland tends to be angry and likes to buy a nice thing. Yes. Shane's obsessed with walking and collects Stanley Cups. Jared's Sheep loves a deal and Hot Wheels. True.

That's my bio. I'm single Hungry Boys TikTok star, which comes up more than I thought it. Very flattering of yourself. I mean, you're like a... TikTok star. I'm cheap and I like Hot Wheels. Cool. Chris is sick and gay.

I walk too much. Angry. Yeah. I really was angry. I should have given myself a negative one. I do think it thinks Chris is single. So for this character, Chris, you're single. Chris's boyfriend, ignore this chat GPT episode.

Yeah, and I just said, have us get in a fight while playing a game and we'll see what happens. Okay. Are you going to read the C? Ever get the feeling you're being watched online? It's not paranoid. It's data brokers. These companies collect your personal information, including your browsing habits, where you live,

and even who you're related to, and they sell it to the highest bidder. That's where Aura comes in. Aura automatically removes your personal info from data broker sites and then keeps it off. Aura also monitors the dark web, safeguards your devices, alerts you to real-time threats, and more.

Start your free trial at Aura.com slash control. That's A-U-R-A-com slash C-O-N-T-R-O-L for your free trial. That's Aura.com slash control. Directions? Yeah, I'll read the scene directions. Ooh, I'm excited. Ooh.

Here we go. Scene's podcast studio. The room is decorated with quirky memorabilia, including a shelfful of rear Stanley Cups and a hot wheels display. A large table with microphones sits in the center. Shane, Riling, Chris, Jared, and Spencer are gathered ready to record their podcast episode.

Shane is glancing at his steps counter. Ryland is on his phone, clearly annoyed about something. That is you. Chris is wrapped in a blanket, looks tired but eager. No. Jared is fiddling with a hot wheels car and Spencer's adjusting the recording equipment, his stomach growling occasion. He's hungry. Yeah, he took it very literally.

They're about to start their game of truth or dare. Ooh. Okay. Oh my God. Okay. Here we go. Hey, everyone. Welcome back to the Shane Dawson podcast.

Today we're diving into a game of truth or dare. It's going to be wild, I promise. Great, because we really need some more chaos in our lives. Come on, Ryland. Where's your sense of adventure? That was my line. Oh, oops. Who's angry now?

I'm ready. I hope there's a date about finding rare hot wheels. Walmart just got a new shipment. Can we just dare someone to bring snacks? I'm starving over here. As long as it doesn't involve runny or heavy lifting, I'm getting. My back is still sore from the hot. hospital bed.

Oh, that's sad. That's real. That's real. It's real. It hurts. AI knows. All right, let's get started. We have our truth or dare wheel here.

Ooh, we need one of those. Each spin will decide your fate. No chickening out. This is going to be a disaster. That's the spirit. Spencer, your first, spin the wheel. Oh, boy, here we go. Lands on Dare.

Spencer, you have to post a TikTok right now declaring your love for the first person who comments. Oh, no. This could get weird fad. This is going to be hilarious. My turn. Okay, Jared, what's the most extreme thing you've done to save money? I once haggled for an hour for a box of Hot Wheels for just 50 cents at a yard sale. Found a rare one worth 50 bucks in there.

They watch your video. Of course you did. Can't you just ever pay full price? Why would I when I can get a deal? Okay, okay. My turn. Lans on Dare. Shane, I dare you to do 500 steps around the room now.

Easy peasy. We're going to be here forever. Oh, no. Someone commented on my TikTok already. It's my old high school crush. Spencer, it might be fate. Give him a call. That doesn't mean that's just over.

Okay, my turn. Chris, I dare you to call the last guy you matched with and tell him you love him. This is going to be so awkward. Here goes nothing. This is going to be epic. Hey, yeah, it's Chris. I just wanted to say, I love you. Oh, they're done.

Oh, my God. That was priceless. You should see your face. Thanks for that, Ryland. Next time I'm picking your dare. Your turn, Ryland. Let's see what you get. Please, nothing too crazy.

Lands on truth. All right, Ryland. What's the most expensive thing you bought that you regret? And don't say my Air Vision pros. Okay. Fine. I bought this super expensive espresso machine for $2,000. And it turns out I hate espresso. Classic Rhineland, always buying stuff you don't need.

At least I don't spend all my time in the hospital flirting with the staff. God, drag him. Oh, really? Well, at least I'm not obsessed with overpriced kitchen gadgets. Guys, chill. It's just a game. Says the guy who's obsessed with walking in circles and collecting. overly priced water bottles. Oh my god. Hey, my steps and my Stanley are important to me.

We know. Can we just get back to the game? I'm still starving and it's arguing isn't helping. Fine, whatever. Let's just finish the stupid game. Whatever. Let's just get it over with. Jeez. All right. Last round. How about a group dare to make peace? Sure. Why not? Let's spin the wheel one more time. They all spend the wheel and it lands on dare. Oh wow. This is perfect. We all have to go to Walmart. find the rarest thing we can, and the best deal wins. Poor shopping. Great. At least it's something we can do together.

This is my chance. Let's find some treasures. And maybe some snacks. My TikTok crush can wait. The group grudgingly agrees and heads out of the studio. The camera follows them as they bicker and laugh on the way to Walmart. Scene change. Walmart.

The group splits up, searching for their finds. They're competitive, but it's clear they're starting to enjoy the challenge. Shane is looking at Stanley Cups, Rylind at Electronics, Krishet plush bears. I think I thought you meant real bears. Jared at Hot Wheels and Spencer in the Snacks Isle. Look guys, I found a limited edition Stanley Cup. I got a rare one too.

This could be worth a lot. And I found the cutest bear ever. Maybe I'll name him after my latest. Okay. I'll admit, this was a fun idea. And I got a great deal on a new gadget. And I'm with a cart full of snacks. And I'm all set for a food hall.

See, this is way better than arguing. Let's check out and see who got the best deal. Ooh. The group heads to check out laughing and comparing their fines. The tension from earlier is gone, replaced by camaraderie and fun. Back in the podcast, they sit around the table showing off their purchases. This turned out way better than I expected. Yeah.

I guess it wasn't so bad after all. Agreed. And hey, we made it through another... Oh, sorry. Hey, we made it through without another trip to the hospital. And I got the best deal. Typical, Jared. Can we do this again, but with more food involved next time?

Absolutely. Thanks for tuning in, everyone. Until next time, keep spinning that wheel of life. Wow, they nail the outroes. The camera pans out as it fades to black. I'm still confused about the fight. What was the fight? I know.

And it gave me multiple options. And I said, make the fight, make it more of a fight, make it more of an argument. This was the most it would give me. Wow. We'll see, even chat GPT knows that if we ever had a fight, it wouldn't be that bad. Do you guys have a whole podcast called fights? Right. I think that one's over.

It was too much fighting. Yeah. I just like how it says plan the Walmart scene to show genuine reactions and the competitive yet friendly spirit. So I wonder if people have actually used a script, gone along with it, and done everything like to the point of this AI. That's so scary. It is. That's what it's going to happen being. Well, there are guys going to go.

People are doing it. Thank you, chat. GPT for dragging all of us. But I found a rare hot wheel. It is really fun. though, they were the most mean to you. I still had fun. Well, let us know in the comments if we should do that again.

And also, give us some prompt ideas. What do you want to see us do from chat GPT? I thought Ryland was on house arrest for a second. Because I was looking at his ankle. I was like, are you? What's happening? Yes, our Apple. So we are currently wearing our Apple watches on our ankles.

I was more flexible. I show you. It fucking sucks on your wrist. It's so uncomfortable. It sucks. And on your ankle, you don't even know that it's there. Well, I think it's a watch. Some people watch is typically you want to be able to see it for the time.

I don't think watches were created with the intention of having full-blown onboard technology. The only thing this Apple watches of service to me is for counting my steps, my workouts, and my calories. Well, thank you because let me get a really quick update on our Walkstar competition. If you don't remember last time we talked about this. So I'm obsessed with walking. I know. Very shocking. Never saw that coming.

And my new average is, I don't want to brag, but here we go. my new step average is over $30,000 a day. Wow. That's huge. I'm not asking for claps, but thank you. I'm already at 15 for the day, which is huge for me. That's like half of mine. Yeah. That's 7.27 miles.

But you're walking 14 miles a day. So usually 17. Oh, my God. What? That's close to a marathon a day. Listen, this is my new life. And if you guys can't handle it. His feet are falling apart and his knees.

can't handle it. I wish I could show you a picture of my toe. It literally looks like there's a nut sack on my toe. So many bunions. But I love it. I feel so good. Like I feel like energized and happy and like my brain is working better. I do think you should cut it down to 20 just until we recover the body. Dude, I'm thinking. It's like the devil. The devil. The devil 40. Oh, it's going to get there because I'm not even trying anymore. It's just happening. Here's the thing. You can't have a walk star competition because no one's going to beat you. There's no way. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

I would throw my own money in if you beat him. He's crazy. Hold on. Let me explain what's happening. So I reach out to our podcast network and they are working on getting a brand attached. There's one that I think is interested. So hopefully in the next episode, we will launch the Walkstar competition. We all will have to measure our steps for a month.

And whoever has the highest monthly average will win a grand prize. Hopefully somewhere in the $5,000 range. Yeah, a hat wheels. And Chris, we're also taking a break until you're fully recovered. so you can fully participate in this competition. Thank you. And I have a theme song. Here we go.

This is our Walkstar competition theme song. The Walkstar competition. Get off your ass and get in the game. Get a cash prize and bragging rights and rise to internet fame. Stop being a lazy fucking get up. Get your body grooving. One step at a time. We're going to go far.

Who's going to be the Walkstar? Shame. Dude. That ending gets me. How does she? that has to just be AI. That's not a real person making these magical moments for us be in music. That's amazing.

Have you invested all this money into theme songs that are really AI? No, she's worth it. She's a real person. You're unbutting me a little bit. I don't know what happened. She's a real person, like, she's so sweet. Guys, check her out on Fiver. Her name's Nicole.

Shane's developed a relationship with this woman over these years. Wow. A little bit. I would say sexual because her songs get me wet. I love her. So thank you so much for that song. Okay, so yes, we hopefully will announce that competition in the next episode. It's going to be crazy.

Like, we are going to go off. I'm going to walk here from my house every time. You'd win. How many steps do you think you will actually get? Well, check your phone. Let's see it's updated from last time. I can't give you guys any intel. But no, I haven't been walking a whole lot.

Just to be clear, I haven't because I'm relaxing my muscles to prepare them for that time. But I'm probably walking about 10,000 steps a day. I will tell us. I will tell you. Shane and I, we both look at each other at the end of the night and we're like, oh, we're sore. It's a lot of walking. Poor Chris. I feel like yours are going to be.

I want to see what might have been. Zero. Yeah, honestly. In the last week, yeah, but you've been posted up. I don't have my phone on me all the time. I do a lot of walking without my phone. I don't know if it could gauge that, but it's saying 50-121 average. Pretty good.

Not the worst. I have a long way to go to win this competition, but I'm in it to win it. not a walk star, but for not trying to be a walk star, that's good. What was it? I don't know the week, but today it was 1400. Wow. I broke the 1,000. 1,400.

Listen, we all start somewhere. I am worried because I, the other day, because we were like talking about walking and I was like, I got back, I was like, I'm going to go for a long walk. I was like, I walked so much today. I look at there's like 15,000. I was like, but that was my end of the day. I was like, how can I touch 30? 15,000 is good.

I know, but that was also like, man. This is the longest I've ever walked in any day. And I was like, damn. It's like, what I get here, these guys, they're both like, yeah, I'm on 15,000 so far. Also, though, no cheating, because I swear, if any of you guys just start shaking your phone back and forth,

you can do that? No. Okay, well, speaking of... Shake weight. Honestly, 15,000 of this is still a lot. That's a lot. It's so more, I would say. I bet you I'd do more of that than walking.

Anyways. Well, this is a weird thing. transition. Let's get to some. Vagina. Viewers are great. I need another. I need another. We love it when you send in picks of each other. And your invasive questions makes us want to say,

V-A-G-I-N-A. Vagina. What a queen. Honestly. I wonder what she thinks of all this. Loves it. We talk. Okay.

Okay. This first email is from Sarah. This is so cute. She said, hey, everyone. Love the podcast. I know it's not Farmer Grower Merch, but I still wanted to show my baby Dawson in Dawson merch. He's been growing up watching you guys.

I know terrifying. Cheers from Your Little Piggy's Up in Canada. Look at the top of this. Oh, what's the bird? Wow. My cuteness? Oh, my little side eye. The baby's like, I don't know about this.

So cute. Thank you. That is the sweetest thing I've ever seen. Okay. Thank you so much for that. This is from Sam. Hey, my name is Sam. I'm 28 from Utah, and I've been watching for 14 years. Shout out Utah. Shout out home to state. Yes, where I was born, Salt Lake City, Utah.

Home of the dirty soda. They make a lot of gays. And I just wanted to say, you and Chris have made me feel very seen and her dealing with similar insecurities. Which ones? Yeah, I have so many. I guess when you combine ours, oh, sweetie, you have a lot of insecurities. Sam, love yourself. You guys have always given me so much strength. Oh, so sweet. me and my husband, Zach. He's wearing grower, and I'm wearing farmer, and he loves it, and even wears it at my in-laws house regularly.

If you zoom into the picture, you can see his dad laughing while taking it. Look. Oh, that's the cutest thing ever. I love that photo. Oh, my God. That is everything. Thanks for being so sweet. I love you.

Oh, this one's iconic. Oh, my God. Okay, this is from Rosa and Suzette. Hey, guys, big fan of the podcast. I've been watching Shane since I was little. I love you guys. Oh, thank you. Today, I was in Sacramento, California, and I thought I saw Jared at my local Target.

And I said to my mom, oh my god, that looks like Jared. This man was wearing a tiger jacket that was on the podcast before. After Target, me and my mom went to Walmart right down the street. And guess what? We saw what we thought was Jared. They were on the hunt for me and I was on the hunt for Hot Wheels. So my mom calls out Jared's name, thinking he would answer. But he didn't even look back.

I was so shocked that I had to take a picture and send it to you guys to see if it was really him. Once again, I love the podcast. So here is the picture. Oh, that's me. I was buying Hot Wheels. I remember that. You were paparazzi. Sacramento is like 10 hours away.

You got to go where the hunting's good. I walked there. And you know, I was there on a business trip. And you know, I just have. bad hearing sometimes if i hear my name being called i typically will look around why wouldn't i however i apologize to uh you rosa and tuzette i didn't answer you i really should have but i love that you wear that uh podcast jacket in real life oh yeah that's great i bought it thinking you would hate it and like it was so khaki and whatever and here you are at walmart proudly wearing it no

wear the matching set no no you should but i only have two different colors of shorts that i wear it's either tan or gray. So if I'm wearing tan shorts, Tiger jacket. Hell yeah. Wow, I love that. We're all elderly and have really bad hearing. So please come up and say hi.

Is that Chris saying he's ignored people before? I have really bad hearing. The only time I ignore, one time I had somebody take a picture with me and they were like so nice, and then they held up a sign that said, over my head. No.

Which what I will say is, how were they been prepared for them? Yeah, that's a lot of planned. Planned. Do they just keep? I don't know. Granted, it wasn't at a meet and greet, But it was planned out, and I almost was like, I respect it.

That's predicated. That's premeditated. That takes a lot of consideration. Also, I found a way that we can say on the podcast without having to believe it. Wow. So there's something. Okay. Wait, this is a fun game because now I can hear you guys say it.

It bothers me that I can't use my vocabulary publicly. I can't identify as who I am at my job. Period. So there's something called fagophobia. What? I didn't actually look into it. Are you sure you're not going to get demonetized for this? No, phagophobia is the fear of swallowing.

And I found out about this because Max was having a hard time like swallowing and I was like, fagophobia, fear of swallowing. And I was like, and it's pH. Okay, okay. So I'd like to hear both of the straight people in the room saying, Oh wait. I just can't do it. I'm so afraid.

It got to be my fagophobia. It's flaring up. That sounds like an aggressive way of saying homophobia. It does. It sounds so bad. Yeah. I was going to say a lot of conspiracy kitchens on this podcast have turned into a lot of fagophobia for a lot of us. There you go.

Oh, man. I love you guys. Speaking of fagophobia, let's get to some voicemails that are going to be hard to swallow. That was smooth. Thank you. Okay, I'm going to give you options again, and then we're going to pick one. Okay, depressed pussy. but by the way

Spent to write since titles That one I think I'm most proud of it. That's good. Depress, Pussy, breaking up over farting. Is Rilin secretly straight? I need it. What? I need that one.

And gay BFF fuck my boyfriend. Huh. Complicated. Let's start with Israelan secretly strange. We have to. Does this woman just want to fuck? The fucking headphones.

Hey, very mask. What about my rings tell you I'm straight? There we go. Hi, Shane. Me and my mom are watching the podcast. And we just kind of noticed it's been a few, like, episodes. Is Ryland secretly straight? Only question is, because every time it's Olivia Rodrigo, Sabrina Carpenter, or even Scarlet Johansson.

He's talking about how hot they are. I am one to call a lady hot. I too. Yes, I love that. We love a good kitty. There's liking a kitty, but, like, look at his fudge and eye, bro. just saying curious just want to know

by her logic does she just come out as a lesbian I think so we love a good titty bro we have a coming out story we love a good titty bro you know I can appreciate a beautiful woman I will never understand your

fascination with like you are so gay you're like I'm gay I'm not straight I'm gay but you have fucked a woman which is more than A Firestone Complete Auto Care's great big tire cell is here and it's time to get in on some serious savings. Get up to $280 off when you buy four eligible bridge stone or firestone tires.

Firestone complete auto care. Book now at Firestone Auto.com. Conditions supplies. These store for details. A lot of gay guys have. You haven't fucked a woman. I have not fucked a woman. You have talked about all these girls that you were in love with in high school.

You talked about how you were in love with Hillary Duff. So I'm confused why you can't even say that maybe you're like on the spectrum. I don't get up in the like I'm not, I don't have like a short man complex. I don't have like a gay man complex. I don't get, I don't let society, you know. Are you wearing a necklace too? Sorry, I just know it's the necklace. What?

The necklace started shining as you were saying all of that. So wait, okay, when you say like you're in love with Hillary Duff, do you get a boner when you're looking at Hillary Duff? Is it sexually enticing for you? She's got some beautiful boobies. Okay, but does it give you a boner? Are you getting aroused from looking at Hillary Duff? That's the question.

You know, there's things. that they do that arouse me. But I don't know that I would want to like I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with a woman. Okay, if I had titties, would you fuck them? Are you a couple of bye boys? That's what I'm thinking.

No, I'm not buying. Because I think like the being, thinking something is beautiful doesn't necessarily mean that you're sexually stimulated by it. Yes. You know? Yeah, I wouldn't jack off to straight porn.

Interesting. The thing I will say to counterfeit. what the lady is saying too is like in my life all of my gay friends only like worship like female pop icons and like are like they're the hottest thing in the world and all my straight guy friends are like only into like Eminem and like male artist do you know what I mean yeah liking a female pop star is pretty gay yeah it is well there you guys go there's the answer sometimes you do love a big titty too but I'm gay um okay I need to hear what depressed pussy is you guys hope you all are doing good um so basically my vagina's depressed i went to my gynaecologist the other day because i wanted to check up on something and she ended up just prescribing antidepressants and so i asked if like those were for me and she was like no they're for your vagina and i generally didn't know that was like a thing so how can i keep it happy without the antidepressants like i want to know if you guys ever feel like your dicks just depressed or something i don't know

help you guys please thank you and love you guys and love the podcast bye can an OBGYN prescribe antidepressants is she putting the Xanax in her pussy is a pretty good title right it's right it's right on it's what it is I wish there was a little more information like yeah like is she having sex is she enjoying it is she touching herself antidepressants for your pussy because whatever you're doing do the opposite it sounds like if her pussy's crying a lot that's a good thing. Yes, if it's wet, it's good. But it sounds like it's dry and depressed and it's sad. But how do you feel? So give me some attention, you know? Because she asked if your penises ever get depressed and I don't even know what that would feel like.

A doctor might prescribe antidepressants to treat nerve pain because of the way the nerve fiber sent impulses to your spinal cord. Have you seen the movie teeth? Yes. Do you remember that? So the girl had teeth in her vagina and then if he was mean to her during sex or if he said something, she'd go and then he go and then he start crying and then she would just like sit there and be like and like pop music would play

it's a good movie so her pussy was angry depressed is different I don't know if I have something to call on for that my dick has never been sad although my dick sometimes has been tired or sometimes has been like

overly energetic but sad I don't know we're sending thoughts and prayers okay um all right Let's do one more. The fart. Because I want to know whose life is being ruined by farting. Hey, Shane.

I've been watching him for like 14 years. Anyways, I've been doing a boyfriend for four years. And he recently changed his diet. Like, start working out and stuff like that. And honestly, I can't stand it because he's been ripping ass. And when I say ripin, I mean ripping. And it smells like rotten eggs almost. And it's so bad to the point where I've told him that.

we're going to have the breakup if he keeps to like get fart in the way he is and it's really bad to like what do I do think that is hard I mean tell him to leave the room do you like your boyfriend's farts

what do I like this farts? For some reason I just thought like I could see you being into that are you a huffer? No no no no no no no that's where the toxins came from no no no no no no no no no no did you get fecal matter in your nostrils?

I hope not. I saw a meme and it was like when he farts and you like it. And it was like a girl like just like loving her boyfriend's fart. And I was like, this is a lot. Am I the only one though that is loving to like waft in my own farts? Like I get proud of how bad my own fart could smell. I never am at the point where I fart in a car and I think, oh, I got to unroll the windows. I'm impressed by myself when I have a bad fart.

You know what's so interesting? I don't feel that way. But maybe subconsciously I do. And maybe you're speaking truth and all of us are in denial. One time I was in a conversation years ago and somebody asked if they thought a baby was cute and then the person who's baby like no one else thought the baby was cute except for the parents of the baby and then someone said well nobody thinks their own fart smell bad. So I think everyone does enjoy the smell of their own farts. I can surprise myself. Guys, sound off.

Do you enjoy the smell of your own farts? Generally speaking, I agree. But there is the occasional like disturbance in that. Okay. Well, on that note, I'm going to go fart in the other room. No, no, no, no, no. Do it here. Do it here.

Well, I'm going to take a quick. We're going to take a quick. We're going to take a fart walk. And when we come back, conspiracies. Stay with us. I know what you're thinking. Shane, why are you dripping wet with sweat right now? Or you're not thinking that.

It's just normal to you. That's because I was just working out on my treadmill wearing my rake-on everyday earbuds. Oh, no, no, no. But not just the normal. Raycon Everyday Earbuds. These are the upgraded model that they just launched. Power Rangers, Activate! Wow, I'm old.

Oh, my God. How old are the Power Rangers now? Are they 60? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I need to sit down. Raycon! Yes, thank you so much to Raycon for sponsoring this episode

and being one of my favorite sponsors of all time, just not only because they're amazing to work with and I just like them, but because I love their products. I love my Raycons. I love my everyday earbuds, especially with the new features that they have on this. So they have a multi-point connectivity, which basically means I can have it connected to my phone, and then I can switch right over to my laptop and edit, switch right back to my phone.

It's so easy. I don't have to be switching earbuds and doing all that back and forth. It also has a new quick charging feature. Just 10 minutes of charging can get these bad boys back up to like 90 minutes of battery life. And they have a 32-hour battery life, which, listen, I never thought I would need before, but now that I'm stepping all day. Oh, I go through these like crazy. Or no, I don't, because they're high quality.

You know what I mean. They also are weatherproof and sweatproof, hence why I'm sweating. See how I plan that out. Now I never noticed, like with my other Raycons, my rose gold ones that you guys have seen me wear. I never noticed that they had an issue with sweat. I don't know if they did, but these new upgraded ones are specifically made to be weatherproof and sweat resistance. So I literally have had zero issues. Not that I did before, but now specifically I can sweat as much as I want. This pig could be fucking rolling around in the mud, covered in his own slop, not messing up these Raycons.

Also, they come in so many different colors and vibes. My new favorite color is honestly just the black. Like, I love my blue ones and my rose gold, but the black is just so sleek. It goes with my everyday shirt. Oh my God, everyday buds. Everyday shirt. I didn't plan that. I just love them.

They feel very, like, luxury and just simple and beautiful. So if you haven't tried out Raycons, I know, like, sometimes you see these ads and you're like, okay, skip. Maybe you didn't try it. Give these a try. I promise. They are so affordable. You could get two pairs of these for the same price as one of the competitors.

And they're really, really high quality. So check it out. Go to buy Raycon.com. grower today and get 15% off your Raycon order plus free shipping. That's 15% off plus free shipping if you go to buy raycon.com slash grower. So thank you so much Raycon for sponsoring this episode and just being such a great company and sponsor. And for also helping me get rid of all the noises of people chewing around me with just one press until my isolation mode, misophonia approved. All right, until the rest of the episode, bye.

Hey, welcome back to Conspiracy Corner. Okay, Ryland, hide your boner, because we're about to talk about some pop star girlie! Okay, so this is crazy. I saw this on Instagram, and you guys know I love Ariana. So, this video came out of her voice, and I'm just going to play it for you. Only thing I thought. That's how I felt. I was like, what has happened?

Yeah, I don't know. But, yeah, I've been writing a lot, and maybe there's some more, but I would like to do a deluxe. at some point. I feel her face changed, too. Yeah, she went into, like, AI. She's a case of the Paris Hilton's. She started out as an actress. Listen, yes.

And she dropped it for a second. Which I've heard so many theories about, you know, rest of the piece, but I've heard so many theories about Michael Jackson, too, that that voice was kind of put on. Well, I've heard that, too. In his defense, evidently, the reason he'd talk like that is because he had such precious vocal cords that he didn't want to strain them. So the best way is just to talk like you're not really trying.

I did see this. Whoa. Yeah. I did see this and I did look at the comment section and that's what everyone. Everyone's like, well, she's protecting her vocal cord. She's one of the great singers of our generation. It doesn't sound though like she's doing less. It sounds like she's doing more when she goes out.

Yeah, I almost feel like this would be harder. What I will say, Ariana did comment on this. She did? She broke her silence. Queen. Queen. She said, had it. Sorry.

Speaking like this for two years and also vocal health with a little machete emoji. I intentionally changed my voice. placement high and low often depending on how much singing I'm doing crying emoji I'm all I've always done this bye so that's what she said and now confirm so she's not an AI robot she's not an alien she's not shape shifter but everyone has that for different arenas of their life it also depends on the mood you know that's true like from this to me starting rylans recap it's gonna be different can't wait do you're so much like eriana me and ariana he's just like are you exact okay Sabrina carpenter I'm hard okay so there's a theory right now that Sabrina carpenter is a Spotify

plant now this theory was sent into us by Maddie and she breaks it down and basically here's what happened so back in the day when record labels would try to and by the way this is just a theory Sabrina don't come for me love you girl so back in the day when labels would try to break artists and get them popular, they would buy placement on radio. So they'd like call up Kiss FM and be like, hey, we'll give you X amount of money, a million dollars, play this, you know,

pop star song 20 times every day. Same is true for Target or the big grocery stores. Right. Like whenever you go to Walmart and they're playing, you know, that, you know, I can't stop the thing. It was actually legal at one time for them to do that. And then they made it illegal to do that. Right. Well, the new thing supposedly is Spotify.

Oh yeah. So they're called Spotify plans. So granted, I think Sabrina is popular on her own but her new song please please please came out and people are now screen recording on their Spotify well let me just show you okay so they're going to their Frank Sinatra Frank Sinatra playlist whoa okay I can see the second song and it's number two on the Frank Sinatra playlist what and there's like a bunch of these so just like forcing it into everyone's shuffle playlist whatever Yeah, so this person...

I mean, I wish YouTube would do that for us in this podcast. Honestly. So every song, so she just clicked on two different songs, this song. Next song up and please please please. Every time you listen to a song and go to the next song, it's please believe. Isn't that crazy? It's great to be her, right? That was probably when Spotify was conceptualized.

I thought, how are we going to make money off of this? And they probably had a meeting saying, well, people will pay us to integrate themselves into other playlist. It's also not like on her. it's like it's really her people doing this like it's not like she's not like yeah like put me as she might not even know this is happening probably like like it's almost like YouTube like I'm not going to throw out names but there is some time when you go to like a hotel room and you turn on YouTube and there's the home page there's the same people every always the same every time and you can't escape it like anytime you watch YouTube anywhere it's always the same people so and that's what I'm saying

wouldn't you love to be the person they push that sounds great okay this next one I just that was funny. So this is Rihanna. So I knew that umbrella. I mean, obviously, it's one of the biggest songs of all time, right? But even when I first heard it, I remember where I was when I heard it. And I was like, why is this so familiar to me? And now I know. They used an Apple Loop to create the song. What? Yeah, look. Vintage Funk Kit, number three. No way. Yes. Isn't that crazy? garage band and create the hit and when i used to find music on my i movie like on my old laptop when i was making videos i used to use that one and i would like put it in certain

places and i remember like other youtubeers using that one no way that's so we get umbrella copyright free i mean i mean if you know without her vocals right there's a lot of song there's a couple songs that have similar stories like uh there's a song by the gorillas that i'm happy they just used they had a keyboard and that was the preset song that it had and they just took that and put a beat over it in that song. That's the preset. It's the rock one preset. Oh, my God.

Google it. That's crazy. Can we make hit songs? Oh, for sure. Let's try. Okay, this is wild. So in the last episode, we talked about scams, and we talked about the hotel room and the card swipers.

I just fell down a new rabbit hole. And Jared, you know more about cars than I do, so tell me if this seems realistic. Have you ever taken your car in for a problem? And then they're like, well, we didn't see this problem, but you do need to change your tire. Yeah, every time I take my car in anywhere. Every time. We'll check this out.

Beware of a potential scam at auto repair shops involving a hidden needle inside gloves. This deceitful practice aims to puncture your tire forcing you to replace it. Isn't that fucking crazy? Oh, dude, that's just the tip of the iceberg. They put oil inside the spray cans and we'll spray your lines up and down your car and tell you that stuff is leaking. all kinds of stuff like that. How can you trust a place then? You can't.

You got to find someone that you actually trust. Like me personally, I only have a mobile mechanic that comes to my house that works on the car because I want to have one person, but I want to be able to complain and confront one person individually because if it's like an employee somewhere,

how much can you really get from that, you know? And every time, this happened to me twice in my 20s, and I took my car and they were like, oh, your tires flat. I'm like, no, it wasn't. It was fine. And they're like, oh, you hit a nail. I'm tripping because I literally just got my oil changed and then shortly after kept having like the two right side tires kept going flat and I was like why is this happening and my boyfriend was like oh you have nails in your tires and he pulled him out and they were like a very specific nail that and he's like I don't know where you would have hit this and they're like placed so specifically like it's really weird and like this I'm like is that what happened so I talk about this a lot when we talk about Ridge Wallet but digital pickpocketing people that can just walk by you and take all your friends.

You need the RFD, dude. Thank you, but let me show you what it actually looks like. Here's a video of it happening. This is insane. It actually happened to me at a bar and it's not fun. What he's referring to is a plastic card and a tap reader machine. People think it's really hard, but this is the big epidemic that's happening with these scanners. They put it in their pocket, bump into you, one, two, you just lost money.

No, wow. Crazy. That easy? That easy. That was easy. It's actually easier than that because there's people that just walk around grocery stores with backpacks that have wireless transmitters. And they do that to everybody in the grocery store all at once. What?

Okay, guys, this episode's not even sponsored by Ridgewallet, but please, RidgeWallet.com's a grower. Check it out. Get the wallet. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's not about saving a little bit on the buy. It's about saving everything you have. That should be their tagline. Yeah, there you go.

Should. Wow, that's good. There it is Ridge. Oh my God. Okay. Well, this next one is crazy because how many times have we predicted? Oh my God, are our videos part of predictive programming? Because we literally talked about this a year ago.

We literally talked about this a year ago. So eyeball tracking. So TikTok was in their terms of service. Basically gives away the rights for you to like, for them to track your eyeballs, right? To make the For You page better to see what you're looking at. Instagram to see what you're looking at on the Explore page. Really creepy and scary, right? Right. Well, then Apple puts out a new thing on our phones that now all of us have. Check this out.

I was a setting. Eye tracking. What? Uh-huh. Oh my God. Uh-huh. And now look. Ah.

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Do we have that right now? I'm going to do that. That's cool. I like that. Are we going to be able to control our iPhones without our fingers? I think yes. Oh my gosh. iPhone?

That was the whole plan. They've been planning this since the inception. Wow. Here's the craziest part, right? So Apple Vision Pro, which was so overpriced. I hate you. But the whole gag was, you can control it with your eyes and your fingers and whatever. That made me sick.

And then Elon, get the brain fucking chip and you can control with your eyes. I'll do that. Now Apple puts this out and just like basically fucks over all those other things because what's the point? Now you just have a free update and control everything with your eyes. How did she get there again? I got to do that. I want to do it. It's also like what we were talking about like in the videos we've done where it's just going to be used for like the advertising thing of like, oh, they looked at this.

Like it's going to be so like they're going to know all your little habits to like the every like the end degree. But it's up to you to buy it I will say the thing I like about ads now is it's so customized to you I keep getting ads that are just like guys with big bellies are things and I'm like wow they know me so well

and I keep almost buying things I don't need It's really like juggling their belly It's really working Ads for big belly shirts Yes like just like rent It's just like it looks like half porn But it's an ad and I'm like I get the same ads because of my body

But it knows probably by my eye movement or whatever that I'm excited by it and I stay on it like I scroll up and it's just like dude with like huge cheeks pulling up a pair of jeans and I'm like oh my god goddamn and then it's like buy these jeans and I was like oh that was a gene advertisement I was staring at the cheeks um okay so this next one involves

tj max so there is a new thing happening where the workers at tj max and marshals are wearing body cameras huh yeah it's scary as hell out there People were not happy when they found out that T.J. Max and Marshalls are having their workers wear body cameras while working. So, I mean, do you think you're not being videotaped when you're out of T.J. Max? They got cameras everywhere already. I don't know. I feel like I'm more like, I don't mind being like there's a camera up in the corner watching everyone. But like a camera with my POV, like you're going to go into the bathroom.

Like you forget to turn your camera off. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I don't know. It's just so personal. Or maybe they're starting a YouTube channel. And this is going to be like one POV video of. I would watch it. It's a real.

Yeah. I guess I'd be pissed if I were the employees, too. Yeah, your job is. It is a weird thing. It's, but I'd almost perform for them. I'd be like, put it on me. Okay, well, speaking of other really weird things, fake fruit.

So we talked about this last time. Fake fruit is taking over. It's everywhere. Have you seen this? I don't even know what to eat anymore. Rylan was accused of Pete. That's vet. Just kidding, Ryan.

I just kidding. I can't wait for tomorrow. We're going to have five of the garage sales. All right, fake fruit. He's a real one. He's a real, he's juicy. Oh, fakeness going on around here. Oh, I'm not going to go.

Okay. So this, I saw this reel. I've seen so many reels of this. So there's the watermelon, the bananas. Now it's the blueberries, baby. It's happening. No. Did you see the video that Airy posted?

Yes, I did. The blueberries. Yeah. the blueberry so this is why you have to be very careful airy bought maple some blueberries she ate some whatever and there was something like pinging around in the disposal that wasn't mashing up so reached her hand in and pulls out like a rubber fake blueberry it was in the pack of blueberries no one can figure out why this is happening are they a conspiracy podcast It's kind of.

Inside these. I cut it open and it's just, it's rubbery. In doing some investigation, people are like posting videos of bananas. They're peeling bananas and their rubber bananas inside of peel. Sharon's like, go to your farmer's market. No, but, but this is real. So many people, not to just keep putting whole foods on blast, but a lot of them are we thought it was just Costco and Walmart.

It's in Whole Foods. Yeah, there's no way Jack Osborne is buying the cheapest blueberries. True, right? Whole point of Whole Foods. was that they're like real food i know i'm so mad so now look at this walmart watermelon just check this oh i love a watermelon okay y'all i threw this uh watermelon out over a week ago it smelled really good bought it from walmart cut it open and it was like plastic tasting it was absolutely horrible i didn't really know what to do with it so i threw it outside and this is no flies it looks like

meat. What the hell are we eating? What the fuck is going on? That's why I don't need fruit. I just got a water bottle the other day. Like this doesn't make any sense. This is horrifying. I think honestly and it's like scary to think about, but I think there, there's a plan. It feels like there's a plan. It feels like, are we running out of real fruit? Oh, natural selection's going to get me because I can't grow my own food. I mean you don't eat fruit. So we're fine. Yeah, we're good. Okay, Jared. So, uh, you let me know that you, let me know that you, You had a poker game with flat earthers where things got crazy. Yes.

Yes. So I have a biweekly poker game. Shout out to Eddie and Crum. And yesterday we were playing. And I asked him, I was like, hey, man, what's going on with the flat earth movement? Because they're very much into this. And they told me that something is happening in December that is going to be a definitive prover if the earth is flat or not.

What they're going to do is they're going on December 14th. And this is called the final experiment. Okay. I thought it was going to involve Santa. Santa. Santa's go from one end of the earth. You said December. I mean, we haven't disproven Santa's existence.

Thank you. He could be real. No, they're not going to space. They're going to a place called Glacier Union Camp. It's in Antarctica. It's like the most southernest place you could possibly get. And as of right now, there's two flat-earthers and seven people who are fighting for the globe theory. And they're going to stay.

It's the southern summer, but they're going to go there during this time. And if the sun doesn't set and it just rotates around them for a 24-hour period, then definitively the Earth is round. But if the sun sets, because the way that it works is on a globe model, how we've all been taught, we rotate around the sun. So the Earth rotates and then we're also on an orbital path around the sun. And that's why the sun sets, right? but on a flat earth gravity i guess right but in a flat earth model like if this was the earth

the sun is doing this on top going around us oh i see right so the sun is doing this on the flat earth model and in the globe model it's more or less doing this right and that's why we see the sun the way we see the sun so if it's 24 hours of daylight and the sun is rotating on the horizon never setting it the earth is a globe but if the sun sets that is the thing that is the They did it prove that the earth is flat. So what's going to happen if they prove it? Oh, hell's going to break loose. There's some humor.

Well, that's what I asked my buddy. I said, well, hey, what's it going to do? And their belief is if they prove that the earth is flat, there's going to be mass hysteria. People are going to start questioning everything because they've been lied to about the most basic of things. Where does it end? And if the earth is a globe, I don't know what these flat earthers are going to do to themselves. You know what I'm saying? Oh, my God.

That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. That's what I don't know. We play on a flat table. But guys, December 14th, tune in the final experiment. Thank you, Krumm, for sharing it with me, because I'm going to be glued to the internet watching it. Oh, my God.

Yeah. You know what I've been glued to? What? It doesn't matter. What that was that? It was on a long train. I just can't figure out why the fuck we're going to space. Why does anybody have business going up?

He won't stop. Every time I come back from the bathroom. I've been doing hours doing research on, like, the International Space Station, The mission that just recently happened. And what I can't comprehend is like, why the fuck are people getting on spaceships and going to the international space station? I think they're trying. What's wrong with it? I think they're trying to figure out how to slowly get us to live in.

So they want it to be like commercial airplanes, commercial spaceships where they're sending motherfuckers up? The earth is crumbling. I'd rather go. I'm not getting on the spaceship. I agree. I'm going to go. Yeah. Well, I mean, even like the Amazon plane, it doesn't take you up that high, you know?

Nothing really gets you that close to space. Well, speaking of things that are out of this planet, let's get to a recap. Recap. My camera action. Ryland's recap is about to happen. Ryland's recap. On today's episode of the Shane Dawson podcast, we answer the question everyone's been asking. Is Shane's husband straight?

And? Yes. Only one person asked that. Everyone's been thinking it. And they love tithies, bro. We're all alive. Shout out to being alive. Spencer and Chris are both with us after a daunting week.

And we have a new rap name unleashed. It's Septic Enigma. We're coming to you soon. Oh, we're going to go to a yard sale with Jared tomorrow. Oh, my gosh. In an epic turn of events, Shane and Ryland are joining their favorite YouTube series of all times. Is there a name for this yet? No, we just think of fun names with Karazil in the title.

What's ours going to be called? I don't know yet. I'd like to see the footage and be inspired by it. So I don't know. You've really been upping your thumbnail game. I got to say Sandy's actually been the thumbnail person recently. No. Yeah, she made one and I said, that's it.

You're doing it. Wow. Not because I don't want to do it, because you're better than me. Okay. Here's my task for you. Contact the woman who does all of our songs and make a title for this series. Ooh. Ooh.

Sandy has been telling me we need an intro. I think so. And a title for the series. Is your pussy depressed? Is your pussy depressed? Experts would say, maybe. I don't know. When I Googled it, it seems like maybe there's some nerve-ending problems.

Ariana Grande is AI. Can you guys believe? In a shocking turn of events, Ariana Grande has a fake voice, but she's here in the comment section, debunking it and staking up for herself. What? I just imagine her, like, in her comments,

like, it's not true. I mean, she was in somebody's comment section. Oh, Jared ignores people at Target. Oh, if you see Jared in public, make sure you scream real loud or he'll ignore you. Shane's walking a marathon today. Yikes. She's a walk star, dude.

Speaking of antidepressants, Walking a marathon a day Might just be all it takes To turn that mood around Shane, our resident walk star Has been hitting the trail And he only has a nuts Tox size blister on his toe

But we are all so proud of him I love this version of you We go on walks together We talk a lot We get inspired I was gonna go to the gym today And he said no please go just Go on a walk with me

Oh yeah And then he goes The walk is in a fucking workout I said well check my steps I was just pitching a few other walks. I was like maybe one with a little more elevation. You don't need elevation. No.

You brought the steps, not the elephant. Yeah, yeah, come. All right. Fagophobia. We found out how you can say F-G on YouTube and still be monetized. All you have to do is use the word fagophobia. P.H. Are you sure?

We're going to be able to make money this episode? I don't know. I feel like you're still going to get demonetized. I don't think they're going to get here. We'll see. We'll have to really go up the rankings through YouTube and say, hey, no, this is P.H., or every time we say, fagophobia in this episode we just have to put huge like p h right right so then when

youtube tries to debunk it we're just like no it's p h right i think it's just going to be one of those things where right underneath the title it's going to have like a wikipedia for fagophobia you know i think that's the move to learn more about fagophobia yeah they don't have enough awareness there's so many people out there that are scared to death to swallow they don't have a community and we're building it what would merge fagophobic fabophobia Phagophobia awareness. Yes. Yeah.

All right, you guys. Well, that was a great episode of the Shane Dawson podcast. I hope that you thought so too. We filmed at 2 p.m., so it was great for me. If you thought it was better than usual, let Shane know so we can continue to do so. All right. Everyone, shop your Shane Dawson merch at shandawsonmerch.com. Follow us all on social media.

And check out Shane and I guest appearing on the unknown, unnamed garage cell show. Hit it up on Sandy's YouTube channel. We'll see you all back here in two weeks on the Shane Dawson podcast. Bye. Bye. That was great. Chat GPT couldn't have done it better. Well, there you guys go. Hopefully enjoyed whatever the hell this was.

We're a live edition. We're so happy to be here. Thankfully, everybody is safe and happy and all wearing just hideous clothes. Can we actually put the list next time into chat GPT and I read the chat GPT recap? Oh. I don't have to think at all. If you guys don't know, Spencer keeps a running list during the show for Rylan's recap. is interesting. That is interesting. That is interesting. We will try that. I'm interested.

We're watching AI take jobs. And then we're all stare at me blankly like it's bad. I'm going to be like, this is chat GPT, you fucking idiots. And then we could pick the gay voice on chat GPT. Oh, I'm out completely. And then you're done. Oh my God. I get out 15 minutes. It's brief. It's recap. And then it could just be you with the black back or the blue background, the AI version of you. Remember? Oh. There it is. Well, see you guys later. Or maybe not. It'll be AI. Bye. watched online. It's not paranoia. It's data brokers. These companies collect your personal information, including your browsing habits, where you live, and even who you're related

to, and they sell it to the highest bidder. That's where ORA comes in. ORA automatically removes your personal info from data broker sites and keeps it off. It also monitors the dark web, safeguards your devices, alerts you to real-time threats, and more. Start your free trial at ORA.com slash control. That's A.U. r a dot com slash control for your free trial