The Shane Dawson Podcast - Pop Culture Conspiracy Theories! Gypsy Rose, Sabrina Carpenter, and Avril Lavigne Replaced?!

Episode Date: June 9, 2024

Pop Culture Conspiracy Theories! Gypsy Rose, Sabrina Carpenter, and Avril Lavigne Replaced?! SEAT GEEK!!!!! Use code GROWER10 for 10% off tickets on SeatGeek.  https://seatgeek.onelink.me/RrnK/GROWER10  *Up to $25 off  Sponsor The Shane Dawson Podcast: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/the-shane-dawson-podcast Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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That's aura.com slash control. We have some crazy conspiracies today. But first, I'm going to start with an update. I have never gotten so many emails about something in my life. This was crazy. Spencer, give us the news. Please stop emailing about this. Is it the F-Dress?

Yes. Dude, my DMs be blowing up. Really? Same. Hey, what's up? Bros and bro-eds. Welcome back to whatever gnarly, gnar-n-nar this. Oh, I hate it.

Whatever. Welcome to the summer edition. Yay. So I'm just here with all my bros to my left. I got my real main bro. Jared, he's a, what are you? Are you? I'm just, you know, typical Chad, dude, over here, chilling.

Wow. That's it. Really? I was going to say you look more like an investor or like, you're definitely on a yacht. Oh, yeah. And you definitely have Bitcoin. Oh, yeah. And you're definitely controlling the world.

Oh, yeah. I'm getting three sheets to the win, bro. Boat. I think this is one of your better looks. And then, of course, I know you guys are worried, like, what's going to happen. Are we going to sink? Well, luckily, we have our lifeguard over here, really taking care of business. Those will be clapping.

I gotta protect my muscles. I can't even take sunglasses off. I can't save anybody. Honestly, you chose the least likely person to save somebody to be a lifeguard. I'm a pretty good swimmer. But you're pretty clumsy. I'm clumsy, but under, like, duress,

like when I got in my only car accident, totally cool. You kind of look like the guy at the gay club or something that blows the whistle and, like, put shots in people's mouth. That's my dream. That's my dream job. If this podcast goes, you know, stops, that's what I'm doing next.

Dude, you should just do it. Pursue your dreams, man. I bet you do well in WeHo in that outfit. You really would. And then over here, we actually have a former real lifeguard that I just found out about today. I used to be a lifeguard at, like, a summer camp I worked at. How much training did you have to do? It was pretty intense.

Like, it was like two full day. I mean, it was like, but like, it was like eight in the morning to like 8 p.m. And it was like, it felt like it was like, it was like I was training for something. Because it was like, can you pick up this. rock off the bottom of the swimming pool. It was like all these like cats. No, my ears were not too well. Yeah, it was a lot. Well, thank God we have two unqualified people to save our lives. And then speaking of unqualified, I don't know what to be in the gayest outfit here. Yeah. Well, I wanted you in full like beach girl drag, but you don't want to shave and

you don't want to get mirror makeup done anymore. He didn't even ask. Well, because I knew you were going to yell at me and I didn't want to fight. That's progress. That is a cool wetsuit though. Yeah. Yeah, this is nice i might go test it out after this i haven't worn a tank top in so long and i just got a glimpse of myself in the monitor and i hate everything i'm like i need to work out i also have the worst farmers tan i'm learning a lot about myself you're whiter than i thought you'd be i never take my shirt off i think he's it wider i'm like strong shoulder line you have to like prepare to be a tank top person i never take my shirt off like not for years unless i'm like having sex or in the shower I just don't like any of it.

Really? I don't think anyone that's not ripped feels comfortable on a tank top. You have to. I don't know. You have the best body. He doesn't show his arms. I like my sleeves to fall perfectly so that I don't look like a little twinky bitch. I really.

Wow. Took a sad turn. Well, anyways, welcome to our summer edition episode where everything's going to be summer themed, starting with the drink. So you guys have probably noticed that we all have very fun summer cups. Wow, look at them. Look at mine. Oh, wow, look at me.

He's a pick-me, girl. So I know you're thinking, well, what are we going to drink? Let me show you one of my new obsessions, which is Gypsy Rose's prison hacks. What? So I'm about to show you how to make a prison-style energy drink with only four ingredients. I want to disclose that this is a non-hand-tank-top. She's scared. Is she the serial killer?

lady it was one time okay what and it wasn't her well she promote alcohol wait we're not listening no background track why can't i focus this is like we need to do like five times speed are you want to just finish it for us from here is this like half hour of it yeah it's very long oh my god it's very long um okay well i'll double speed it basically she puts a bunch of shit in a cup and she calls it a prison energy dream Okay. So the thing that she... Where's the coffee?

Once again, disclaimer. I did not watch the documentary or the show, the act, so I don't know anything about the Gypsy Rose case. I have no opinion on this. Don't come for me. So I started following her on Instagram because I did? Well, I wanted to see. Did she hit the followback?

No, she did. Can you imagine Gypsy Rose sitting here? It'll happen. Maybe not after this one. Season two of Spencer's dating. Oh, my God, Gypsy. No, she's the person. We find somebody for Gypsy.

Oh, you just said Spencer's done. That's okay. I'll just put it up. I mean, let's be real. dude, if we can get Gypsy, I think that season two. Yeah, all right. I'll admit, I'll admit, I'll bet Gypsy's more of a trouble. So, yes, I have no idea what's going on.

She deleted her Instagram because she said social media was mean, which, listen, I get it. I get it. But then now she's back on TikTok doing prison hacks. Like she's doing makeup hacks and drink hacks and all these hacks. It's pretty good. Listen, I don't know anything about you, Gypsy, but keep hacking, girl. Okay, so here's what she said. She said to mix.

Oh, wow. Instant coffee Kool-Aid mix What's in the bottom of this? So in the video She's like Make sure the Jolly Ranchers are crushed up

She's like make sure they're crushed up So I crushed up A bunch of Jolly Ranchers And then This is gorgeous Strawberry Fanta Yep she said Strawberry Fanta

Because she wants it to taste Juicy flavor Did they not have Red Bull in jail? I'm kind of confused here They have access to all of this in prison

She said they don't have Red Bull All of this but not a Red Bull I know I feel like We probably shouldn't do the whole packet of coffee. Oh yeah, you got

to do it, dude. It's a pretty small coffee. Oh, you want to get on that gypsy shit? Gypsy level? Are you here? Right? Mix up the coffee. Is this going to kill us? Dude, I'm loving her arc right now. I just got to say. I didn't know you guys were doing this in your fancy. Ew, why is mine so thick? Mine is thick.

Oh, God, if we get this on the floor, Ryan is going to kill us. What? Did you spill it on the carpet? We've got to clean it now before it dries. Everybody, we'll clean it in a second. Everybody, let's take us. Oh, man, mine's spilling everywhere. I'm stressing the fuck out. There's a paper towel, dude.

How can yours look delicious? It does. I follow the instruction. It's like elephant blood. All right. Three, two, one. Cheers. I love it.

It's like a sour, Jolly Rancho. Yeah, it's sour, yeah. If I was in prison with nothing to lose, I'd drink it. What? It's burning. Okay, it's turned to burn. Whoa. You got to just get through the burn, brach.

I'm a fan. trying to get on gypsy's a good side. Maybe I just didn't put enough phantom. Gypsy, girl, you're on to some here. This is bussing. Okay, welcome back. We had to take a quick little break. Rylan beat us home.

And he was energized while doing it. For sure. Yes. Really? Okay, we have a brand new game. I can't believe we've never played this. I got so many requests to play this over the years. And we're finally doing it, baby.

It's two truths, one lie. Woo! Summer edition! So here's how it goes if you've never played before. Each of us are going to say three statements about ourselves, something from our past. Hopefully, some are related. Oh, yeah.

You think it to stink. We'll play that later. How does that work? I'm thinking about it. I like it. I'm not mad at it. I try to figure it out. Oh, my God.

Summer. Summer edition. Okay, so I'll go first. I have two truths and one line. You guys have to guess which one is the lie. Okay. I fucked a pie. pineapple.

Yes. I believe it. 100%. Like the canned one with the pre-slice, the hole in the middle? Oh, I wasn't going to go into specifics. I'll go into specifics later though to prove that it's true. I just did that for you. Number two, I jerked off in a target dressing room while trying on swimsuits.

That would be really bad. Nice. And number three, I used to steal constantly at my summer job. Everyone did that. Those are good. Those are all good. Thank you. What do you mean everyone did that?

hourly job. It's like food or something. Oh my gosh, I would still chia muffin and coffee at the restaurant and I worked out all day. Yeah. Wow. Okay, so which one do you think? I'm lying about the target. 100%. I'm going to guess the steal. I'm saying that you didn't steal from a summer job. That would be crazy. I always stole from my summer job. Always. I don't think, I don't think that one's true. I might go pineapple, just because that's one of the worst fruits to fuck I do. I really won this round because nope it was it was split there was no majority so I guess I won the round right no wait we just see who was right okay the lie was I never jerked off in a target of course not that would be insane that would be so insane I would never want to watch myself jerk off

are you kidding me that's my nightmare so yes so the truth um I did fuck a pineapple when I was young I don't really remember but I definitely like cut a hole into it and because I saw it in like a movie or something I was like oh if I just do this did not work at all Ouchy. Ouch. And number two, I kind of lied a little bit on this one because I said like my summer job. But yes, I would steal with Jared. So much.

With Jared? Well, okay. Wait, so Jared helped you lie? How about this? The thing is, I used to stock the food in the freezer. And if you accidentally cut through the boxes, you just damage it out and you can eat it. Oops, chicken fetatini. And everybody that worked there did it.

It's a wonder you guys got fired. Wait, you guys both got fired. fired from that job? Yeah, for cutting boxes open. They found out. Yeah, it was a lot. The real ones remember. The stealing actually had nothing to do with us getting fired because honestly,

everybody did it. Any food establishment doesn't pay their employees enough for them to not be getting free food. Period. And then they'll always crack down on the bringing back the discount on the food. And you're like, fuck you. I'm eating this food. Okay.

Jared, do you want to go next? I feel like I'm missing a lot of like jerk off stuff going on here. When I was 16, I was on a strict diet of canned soup and popsicles to lose weight for my senior year. What? Oh. Oh, are you just sad? That's sad. I don't know, maybe.

Okay, Gypsy coming in with a hat. Okay. When I was 14, I'd go to Knott's Berry Farm every single day to pick up girls, and I only ended up getting one kiss all summer. No. When I was 18, I got a ticket at the pier for selling weed to an undercover, who I thought was just a homeless guy. I was looking up. Whoa. These are all plots.

of movies. Oh. And I fucked a turkey. Well, in one of your vlogs, you commented on how people go to knots to pick people up. So I think that was true to your life. Yeah, but I think he's fucking with us because he knew I would know that one is true because we grew up together. But I think he's twisting the facts a little bit. I think he hooked up with way more girls that he's saying he did. I agree. I agree with that. I don't know. I really do remember you, though, with the suit and the popsicle, so that could be true. But you also could be twisting that too. You could be, it could have been like cans of vegetables, like, although you did get really, like, very skinny in senior year,

but I thought it was drugs. That came later. After I got sick of soup. Sip and popsicles shit isn't working. Then I started doing snotcicles. Wait a minute. Whoa. That's a brand.

It is. I think it was a not spray from one. Actually, I never got a ticket for selling weed to the undercover on the pier. We're all shocked. I only really did end up kissing, like, one girl. Really? remember when I was for yeah that's Barry Farm I was a little shy you know that was it that was it uh and yeah when I was 16 all I ate was chunky vegetable soup and popsicles trying to lose weight

did it work yeah yeah yeah it's hard to sustain that kind of a diet you know long term but it did work wow okay yeah Chris oh okay break it down I hope I didn't say one of these on the podcast already I couldn't remember if I said this or not but you jacked off while driving a pill damn it I said that already one summer after a show my band played we were invited by a fan to a party we didn't realize until it was too late that everyone at this party were

Nazis one summer after my friend crashed his car a cop showed up and inspected all of our vehicles when the cop found handcuffs in the back of my car he angrily asked what they were for I answered for sex the cop turned red and

left me alone after that are these chat GBT it does feel like it The monotone ain't helping. Last one, one summer, I went to a theme park with my friend and her new boyfriend. I had a huge crush on this guy and couldn't help but flirt. When my friend went to use the restroom, he leaned over and kissed me. She still doesn't know about this to this day.

I think that's a lie. Me too. Because I think you wanted to, and I think you jerked off thinking about that happening, but I don't think it ever did. I do remember you talking about a straight friend like blowing you or you blow you. blowing him or something like that. Did this kiss lead to a blowjee or no? Possibly. Okay. Okay. I feel like you probably still have handcuffs at your car for a sec. I'm going with the kiss one. I feel strong about the Nazis.

I'm new handcuffs. I do handcuffs. I do handcuffs. The lie was the kiss. Yay. I know it so well. I knew it. I would never kiss someone that was like even if I was attracted to them, which I was. You were right. You were exactly right, by the way. But yeah, I would never kiss someone that was in a relationship with someone, even if I could. These weren't very, good Nazis then to invite you to the party. I got to say they must not have been about it. So they invited us over. I think the reason why it was why they did was because they liked our music. Like they came to a punk show and like they just were like viving with the music and yeah, I think that's why. But we left and it turned out okay. I don't know how you put yourself in

positions like this. He also said that he picked up a gang member the other day and I'm just like I did do that once. There's nobody else in my life that I know that gets involved in things like this. So I'm like, you just pick someone up off the street. No, we were, I'll try to make it. We were at Denny's, and there was a guy who came up to us, and he was like, oh, our friend's really drunk, and he needs a ride home, but we have to go. Can you help us out? He lives, like, really nearby, and we were like, sure.

We turned the corner, and he was, like, tatted, hit a toe, but very sweet, and we, like, put him in the car, and we're driving. We're like, where do you live? He's, like, see me valley, and we were driving him, and then he, like, fell asleep. And then he woke up and, like, didn't remember that he agreed to get in our vehicle, and was like, who are you? are like freaking out and was going to fight us and we just like pulled over and like you can get out we were just trying to help you we swear to god whatever and then he was like it's fine and we took him

home and then at the end on the way out he was like you know you guys are you're good people has your back which is a gang and you're dropping the gang name that's what he said maybe bleep it out they said he has my back though we're friends that's good that's good um well chris if i was your parents i'd be very worried every time you left the house i am worried for I text you daily. Every time he comes over, he's like, tells me something crazy. I'm like, well, hopefully that was a lot. And that gave you, hopefully, some ideas for your two's truths in one line.

Oh, my God. We'll go to Spencer first. I'm so not good at this kind of thing. Keep thinking. All right, Spencer, break down. Okay. At summer camp, I saw a stick go all the way through a kid's foot. Oh.

The first time I fingered a girl was on a family vacation. Her pussy smelled so bad that when I came back to the hotel room, my brother could smell my hand from across the room. I was kicked out of a baseball camp for throwing up too many times during batting practice. The fingering one's so specific, it has to be real, or you're sick? Or it's a lie, and it was actually you fingered their ass.

Tricked you. Finger popping. Finger popping each other's asshole. I'm going to say the last is the lie. I'm going to agree with my last one's a lie. Yeah. It was the only one that didn't have that many details. I think the stick one.

I think it was like their foot. something I think you like twisted the truth a little bit I've thrown up during over-extensive exercise I could see that happening and some pussy stink real bad so that could happen I don't think a kid had a stick go through his foot okay I agree yeah you guys are right baseball one is a lot because he's a storyteller and a writer and the other two you know what I mean like lacking in the detail damn it yeah I I hate baseball so okay back to the fingers it stinks so bad that you your brother noticed from across the room.

And was this a random person on vacation? Our parents had like hung out. And you know what I mean? I guess our parents are hanging out. We'll just hang out. And I came back and I was like, oh, weird. Ever get the feeling you're being watched online? It's not paranoia.

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Start your free trial at ORA.com slash control. That's A-U-R-A dot com slash C-O-N-T-R-O-L for your free trial. That's ORA.com slash control. Where you look, this stinks like. Right on for you, bro. Finger blasting a chick and it stinks. I like it. Good for you.

Two truths and a brag. Okay, Riley, grand finale. We only have a few minutes left on this SD card, so let's do it. The first time I had sex with somebody, I left them in the bed and immediately went to shower. Lie. Because the first time you had sex was in a jacuzzi. You also don't shower. I'm just kidding.

I'm just kidding. After sex, you made it sound. I was like, you also don't shower after sex. You made it sound like the other time. When we talked about this, you're like, you need to shower right after. No. I'm out of shape, but I don't sweat that much. The first time I went surfing, I got sung by a stingray.

He just making shit up. He just looked at the surfboard behind Jared. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Okay, keep going. Okay, then somebody peed on my foot afterwards, because when you're trying... It's a jellyfish. Come on, think of that lie. Get that lie in there.

Okay. Anything. You finger bang some guy's button. It stuck the whole room up. Okay, and in the height, Of Keshe fame, I was hooking up with her makeup artist. Oh. I know the last one's true because we got into a whole conversation over that.

What? Well, yeah, because you were like, he got married and this and that. And I was like, why do you care so much? You're like, I don't. And I'm saying, why do you know that? Number two, the sting rate, I think that's a lie. Because number one, no, that first one's a lie. Because you told me that the first time you had sex was in a jacuzzi with a girl.

Okay. No, I stand by that because, again, at some point we were talking about showering after sex. And I feel like you guys were saying like you don't have to, you don't feel the need to shower after sex. The second story to me sounds pieced together. Like, oh, I'm surfing and I got stung by a stingray. It just sounds like a bunch of stuff that you heard. It's not accurate.

But I could be wrong. I think I'm right. Okay. Number two is alive. Oh. It would have been jellyfish to peeve. I knew it. I fell apart in the storytelling.

Wow. I thought, wait, I thought you had sex in a jacuzzi at like a cabin. My best? My best? Yeah. I was in love with this girl forever. And she knew that I loved her forever And we were a great friend

So then my other friend just went to her And he was like, come on, he needs to lose his virginity He's getting too old to still be a virgin And she agreed to have sex with me How old were you? A junior in high school That's not too old And we were all in the cabin

Or at a cabin in the mountains During like a winter break So it was snowing, we were out of the jacuzzi And then we went into the bedroom A romantic The second it ended My instinct was like before anything. I was just like, I got to grade in the shower.

Maybe because you were gay and you wanted to shower off that pussy. Exactly. Did it stink? Not that I can recall. Good for her. I was in love with her, even though I was straight or gay. Even though I was straight. Even though I was gay.

Well, there you go. That was our summer edition of two truth, one lie. I don't know if I ever want to play that again, but it was fun to play once. Okay, we're going to take a quick little break. And when we come back, what are we doing? Oh. Vagina. Oh, sorry.

Dewers are great. I need another. And they don't stink. Later that's like it. Hey, sorry to interrupt the show. Please don't go anywhere. I have a huge announcement. Okay, so in the last episode, or maybe two episodes ago, I was talking about Sikh geek, and I started the ad by saying, I'm on tour. And I got a lot of people saying, oh, no, I got excited because I thought the podcast was doing a tour and then it was just a Sikh ad. Which, first of all, you should be very excited about a Seekek ad, because you know how amazing Seekek is. Don't get me started.

I mean, Drake, Mickey Minaj, hosier. Bad Bunny, they're all on tour right now. And you can get tickets very, very affordable, best prices on the internet with Seeky. But I'll get to that in a second. Well, when I said I was going on tour and people were disappointed that it wasn't really a tour and it was a joke. I started thinking, do you guys want us to do a live episode of the podcast? I don't know if I want to do it. I'm kind of scared.

But if you want it, let us know in the comments below. Maybe do like hashtag, ew, do people still do hashtags? I don't know. I want to be able to find them. Maybe do like hashtag SDP tour. And let me know. If you guys want that, maybe, uh, me and the boys and the girls will put some sort of live show together. I don't know.

And let me know where you are. I don't know. Let me know what state. Okay, that's even weirder. Whatever. I'm thinking about doing some sort of live show. Okay, back to the app. Seek, the place to go for tickets, not just concerts.

Literally anything that needs a ticket, seekeek will have it and they will have it at the best price. They also do something that I love, which is they rank their ticket prices for you. So for example, you click on a show. and you look and you see a seed, but it's red, that means this is way overpriced, don't waste your money. But if you see a green dot, that means this is a good price and you should get it. Seekek is amazing. If you haven't tried them out, please, now is the time because they are giving you a very special offer. All you have to do is download the Seekek app.

If you don't have it already, I'll put the link in the description below and use code Grower 10 to get 10% off of your tickets. Any tickets. Literally anybody can get 10% off using Grower 10 right now. So thank you so much, Cique for sponsoring the episode. and if we do a live show or like a live tour, we will be using Seekek guarantee. All right, enjoy the rest of the show. Bye.

All right, welcome back and here we go. Oh. I need to connect to the thing. Oh. Each other and your invasive questions makes us want to say, V-A-G-I-N-A. Fagina. Wow.

Sad that we only got half the song, but honestly left us wanting more. Oh, yeah, always. Our first email is from Lauren. She said, Hey, Shane and friends. I absolutely love the podcast, and I have been a fan

since I was in elementary school. I noticed my husband had been paying more and more attention every time I watch one of your channels. So I convinced him to wear some grower merch. Yes. I love my grower. And here is a picture of him in the merch.

Look at that grower. Yes. Oh, my God, showing off the grower. I'm trying to look at his tattoos. What is that a squirrel? Squirtle. He has a squirtle tattoo? That's it.

Nintendo 64. He's invited on the couch. Yeah, come on, Dad. Thank you, Lauren. That is so sweet. Okay, this is from Kelsey and Remall. Hey, Shane, Ryland, Chris, Jared Spencer, and Sandy and Lizzie,

and Jett and Max. Covered it all. Just wanted to say hi and send you a picture of me and my best friend in your farmer merch. We live long distance from each other, but we still love talking about the show together. Here is a picture of them

in their farmer hoodies. That is so cute. Yes. Little reunion. Wow. I love that. They look so happy. Oh my god, here's a picture of them eating ice cream watching the show.

Wow. Wait a minute. Did I read the email wrong? I thought they were, they live far apart. They do, but when they get to see each other, they wear the farmer merchant ate ice cream. Oh, I got it. Okay, she's from Seattle and her friend is from Canada, Nova Scotia. Wow.

Farm is around the world. Okay, this is big. This is an update. So I don't know if you guys remember this, but a few months ago, we got an email from a viewer, and she said that she was pregnant. She was pregnant. She wanted advice on how, like, what she should look out for. Or not look out for.

Signs. No, like, but, you know, like things that she's nervous about stuff. And we gave her some advice. And she sent a picture of her and her man and she was pregnant. Well, she had the baby girl, Genevieve, four months old, almost five months old. Wow. Look at how sweet. And this is them.

And she graduated from college. Look at that. Big life changes. Wow. Catherine. So sweet. This is the cutest thing ever. Shout out to you, Catherine.

Shout out, graduation, baby. Did more than we did. Honestly, congratulation. To be in those last months of school with a newborn. Yeah. Girl. Congratulations. Okay.

Now it's time for some voice. I saw one that I really want to do. What? Is my sugar daddy gay? That would be pretty weird. That's actually pretty confusing. Well, here we go. Hi, Shane.

Hi, everybody. Hi. This is really weird, so I'm going to hear pretty quick. Um, my sugar daddy of like a year told me last week that he has fantasies, or he has a big fantasy of letting a man penetrate him while he goes down on me. And while also simultaneously heavily telling me that he's not gay. But is that gay? Very bad. It feels gay.

Like, I'm of the mind that anything you do with a woman is not gay, but is that gay? Tell me. Please help me. Bye. He's gay. I mean, he might not, he might be by. But she also didn't say there's anything wrong with it. No, I'm just saying.

I don't think she's cutting him off from being her sugar daddy. But I'm just saying, if you have somebody who's paying you money to have sex with you, is that what your sugar daddy is? I think more or less, they wouldn't be in an involved relationship if it wasn't for the exchange of money. Right. I would imagine. Right. So.

So. So if he is gay, charge more. Just throwing out options. And not even the gay. If he wants to throw in another person, charge more. Yeah, like, listen, yes, thank you for the purse. But I'm going to need the matching wallet if you want you to watch it get penetrated by a man while you're eating me out. Question here is a guy liking a dildo in his ass gay?

It's hard to know. No. Because a straight man still has a prostate. So it's still going to feel good if you'll allow it to feel good. But is it one of those gildos that looks like a real deal? Or is it like a glass one? Oh, no. This is a pristine dildo.

But I'm just saying because what if this guy has been doing that? And he's thinking, hey, I'm sick of the fucking hand movements. I just want a guy to do it. I mean, because it's not gay to have a dildo in your ass, but it's gay to have a guy fucking you in the ass. You know, I'm going to say. It's deep. Ball's deep. I'm going to say it's gay.

Oh, yeah. It's 100% gay. You're curious. All I'm saying is ask for more. Yeah. Ask for more. Like just say, just be honest and be like, hey, this is a lot. Yeah.

You're asking a lot of me. At the end of this, you got to do this. You got to flip the phone over and say, tip. Here's where I. Flip around that iPad, girl. And that shit starts at 30%. Start at 30. Start at 30.

Yes. Okay, I have a lot more to choose from. Let's see. Should I do nervous about moving or should I do boyfriend won't stop jerking off? or building a rooster what is that roster what's a roster like a roster people you're fucking i like boyfriend won't stop jerking off okay but then we'll do one series i think every single person's building a roster what right what you need to stop thinking about pussious makeup artist he's gone baby okay boyfriend won't stop jerking off hey shane i've been watching you forever

but that's the most of the point um my boyfriend literally has a jerking off problem And I need advice. I will really be laying in his bed and I will ask him to do stuff and he'll be like, no. And then he'll get up and go jerk off. I walk away for a second. I come back in, he's jerking off. I came in the house. I come back to him.

He's jerking off. Like, it's a serious problem. And I don't know what to do about it. I don't know how to address it. I know I've addressed in really bad ways before. And I overreact a lot. But, like, if getting to some where it's like lowering my self-esteem, So I need help from, like, a guy's point of view.

Anyways, love you. Bye. Okay, first of all, I kind of had a hard time hearing some of it. So basically, her boyfriend won't stop jerking off. Yes, but then when she wants to hook up with him, he's not available for that. But then she finds him jerking over. I love you so much, and I don't want to be insensitive. But I have a song. I'm not going to play it.

I'm not going to play it. Play it. Play it. Dude, a song is exactly what she and the world needs right now. Play the song. Is my husband gay? You jerks up in a lot. Shit.

Honestly, I'm kind of not sure. Oh, no. Okay. That works for the last one too. Yeah. Is my sugar daddy gay? No, I was kind of thinking that, though. Here's the thing.

I will say, I don't know, but I definitely think you need to talk to him and tell and be like, hey, listen, be totally open and honest with me. Do you want something else? Are you not getting what you need out of this? Because I'm starting to feel insecure. You should just be honest about it. Yeah, because I would think, Like having sex would be the better alternative to jerking.

Isn't jerking off what you do if you're not able to have sex? Yes. So there has to be an issue there. And dudes that just jerk off and watch porn all the time have a really hard time even having sex and maintaining a boner because their sexual desires are all like thriving in their head and with their hand. So maybe ask them like, hey, you know, are you even able to have sex? Like, is there an issue here? Is it me? Is it you?

Like, just have an open conversation with them. I don't know if it's a gay thing or if there's, like, potentially, like, another woman he's interested in or if he's fallen out of love. But, like, to me, there's, like, not a lot of great scenarios here. I've seen a couple therapists in my life and all of them said that, like, when sex starts to go away drastically, that's, like, a bad sign in a relationship. Like, sex is an important part of a relationship. And if you're not wanting to have any, that's a bad sign. So, like, this is, it is a bad sign, unfortunately. Although I will say, I agree.

Although I will say you might also think that not sleeping in the same bed is a bad sign. It's called sleep divorce, but we... Oh, now he's coming in with the facts after I dropped him to him. We don't sleep in the same bed anymore because I just love the couch in my office. I will not sleep on a fucking couch. It's so...

I get the best sleep I've ever had. The couch up here? Yeah. Because that's a bed. Best sleep, thank you. No, it's not. You sleep on it for a night and tell me it's the bed.

But we are closer than ever. Oh. I don't want to be sad. Uh-oh. But you don't think we're closer than ever? I think it's the same. It's very... Oh, no, no, no, really, it's not that much different, except for the fact I like when I wake up in the middle of the night, I can kick him or, like, acknowledge him.

But this all happened because my family was visiting. I gave them all our bedroom, so we slept in here. I transitioned back to our bedroom, and he never came with me. I never, because I have such a hard time falling asleep. I, like, get heart murmurs. I have a really hard time falling asleep. I sleep so good. And then he's like, if I have to walk down the stairs, across the house, and back up the stairs, I'm awake again.

I'm like, oh, okay, well, should we do one serious voicemail? It's going to be helping move, and it's going to be like, so my husband wants to get fucked in the ass, and I'm moving tomorrow. These all took a dark turn. Yeah, let's help someone move. Okay, here we go. Maybe on from a relationship, who knows. Hi, Shane, Riland, everyone. Hi.

I just want to say really quick, Shane, I love you. I've been watching you since you first started, and I, I've been with you, you know, throughout everything that has happened. And I will never leave you side. Anyways, I need some advice. So I just got a promotion at my job. And it requires me to move in the next two to three months to a city that's like an hour or so away from me.

I'm 23 years old. I'm, you know, not in a relationship, not anything. And I'm just really, really nervous. um you know basically starting starting over in a sense but um yeah i kind of need some advice slash tips on do you take it stuff like that um yeah i love you guys and hopefully you get this have a good day i love them take it love it's amazing moving is amazing i love moving i can move every day i love starting over oh my god it's the best like please it's the best thing you're ever going to do you're going to start the next chapter of your life you're going to meet new

people you're going to have new experiences you're going to have a relationship like please start over also the opportunity found you for a reason you got to follow it yeah i definitely think you have to a lot of people like never have the opportunity to move period so like that's just an exciting opportunity that a lot of people don't get ever and like you're not married you're not like there'll be points in your life where you won't be able to do this so like just experience it yeah 23 is the perfect time and if you absolutely hate it you can go back and it will be a great memory to look back and laugh on yeah and it's It's only an hour away. Yeah.

In all reality, like anything that you have, friends and whatnot, you guys could each drive 30 minutes to meet up in the middle and hang out whenever you want. You know? Well, there you go. Hopefully we help some of you guys, some more than others. All right. We're going to take a quick little break when we come back. Conspiracies.

And these ones get crazy. They're that lawnmower. Okay, welcome back. We have some crazy. conspiracies today. But first, I'm going to start with an update. I have never gotten so many emails about something in my life. This was crazy. Spencer, give us the news. Please stop emailing about this. Is it the fucking dress? Dude, my DM'd be blowing up. Really? Really? Oh my gosh. I remember we a while ago, I think last year we talked about like he was

getting, he was like getting convicted or he was like on trial for like trying to strangle his wife. I don't know you guys remember that? Well, he's guilty. So. Oh, he's going to jail. Wait, so, okay, wait. So he's the one who took the picture? Yeah, so he took the picture. It was his mother-in-law's dress. Okay.

So he didn't even design the dress? No, he just took the picture? The picture, he went viral. And so then his neighbor caught him trying to strangle his wife, I think. Go for the dress? No, just, I think he's just a piece of shit. Is the wife okay? Yeah, so she survived, so he didn't kill, but, you know, you're still not allowed to do that.

Wow. So he went to prison. He was convicted not too long ago. So that's an urban legend. I thought it was they were fighting over the dress. That's what everybody had been saying, but I had nothing to do with the dress. Because he would strangle me over that fucking dress.

If you bring it up one more time, yeah. If you try to tell me and gaslight me about the colors of that dress one more time, we could get there and it's live on camera. You already stained the rug. Send me to jail. Be careful. Oh my God.

Well, this is a theory about women. But we don't have any women here. Should we FaceTime one? I don't know. Okay. Let me tell you the theory, and I almost want to get a woman's reaction on this. You guys in the comments, react to this.

There is a theory, and we got some emails about this. One email we got was from Sophia, and she really broke this down. There is a theory that women's razors rust faster than men's. She tested it out with multiple different razors, multiple different times, in different scenarios, wet, dry. She did all these different scientific experiments, and she found out that, yes, women's razors rust faster because they want women to keep buying them. Whoa. It's called the woman's tax. I guess there's a lot of things under that.

Yeah, like they have to buy tampons and men don't. There, there's no pockets in their pants, so they have to buy purses. Why would they be different? Outside of the branding. Because they want women to keep, because women use more real estate with razors, I guess, because legs and, you know, nipples, I don't know. When I'm a women shave, I don't know. I just recently bought Sandy a razor.

Really? Yeah. FaceTime. Let's see, but my theory. Uh-oh. Maybe it's because the moisturizing, uh, like additive that they use in women's razors is more prone to rust. But they use it in men's too.

What the fuck? This is serious. This is real. All right, let's see here. I never FaceTime Sandy. Wow. She's gonna think something bad. Are you okay?

My love. You're live on the podcast. Say hello. Hi! All right. And there's a theory going around that's boggling minds. We need a women's perspective. Have you noticed that women's razors rust faster than

men's say yes I feel like yes it's confirmed he has confirmed did you hang up on her no oh she's back I feel like there's a there's a 90 day fiance

where the guy's girlfriend made him facetime her 24 hours a day even when he was like taking a dump and like this is it like yeah guys I can come over but you know kind of have wifey with me Oh my God You look beautiful Oh

Yeah, okay We gotta take a private moment Okay, I love you She confirmed it guys They rest faster By a real woman Okay, this is really stupid And it's not even in theory

But I was like Am I just a genius Or, well, let me just show you So it says apparently Nearly home Isn't home where we all want to be Reba here forreelter.com The pro's number one most trusted app

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based on August 2024 proprietary survey. There's a code that if you grew up in the 70s, 80s, and 90s, you can automatically understand this acronym. Get your ass in the motherfucking house right now before I beat your ass. Yes, I got it instantly, too! Did you guys? No. You did it?

I got it. You got it? Yeah, I got it. Do you guys not have a spoon drawer at the house? Wow, throwback. Yeah, that's a throwback. Your mom didn't rattle the spoons? No.

It sounds like we're fucking animals. I also had foreign parents. I don't know if that plays into this. Oh, yeah, what's just like the Spanish version? We had one of, you know those like... Snapping a belt? Those wooden train whistles, those train whistles where it's like, Boop-boot.

That's like the whitish. I've ever heard of my life. A train whistle. I'm from New Hampshire. We don't have anyone else. But yeah, my parents had like, when it was time to come inside, there's like,

bo, boo, bo, that sounds like you've made it up. How do you know if it's your parents or somebody else is? No one else had one. Wow, that is so sweet. And they like spanky with feathered paddles? Wow. Cool. Wow, well, there you guys go.

Let us know in the comments. Did you get that? I got it instantly. You got it faster than I did. You didn't even have to read it out. Had you seen this before? Oh, I just, I started thinking, get your ass in the motherfucking house right, F-YP, your ass. It just made sense.

Wow. Okay, so I'm sure you guys have all heard the Melissa Avrilavine theory. No. Oh, really? Melissa replaced her when she went away. The Averloving died, and I think 2002, 2003, right after Complicated came out, and they replaced her with this girl. Melissa. You were big into this.

Oh, Aver Levine is one of my favorite all-time. I did not know, by the way, Sandy is a big Avrilhead. I really didn't either. I had no idea. We would have connected over that. I might go see her live next week. What? Yeah.

Her or Melissa. Everyone's invited. Oh, my God. I thought I'm going to fucking ask her, dude. Well, the host of Call Her Daddy asked her, and on the podcast, we'll show a clip of that. Averill, this conspiracy theory about you is a little creepy. Come on. Oh.

No. Yeah, I don't know. It could be worse. And Aver was laughing about it, and she's like, I think it's kind of funny. like she wasn't taking it too seriously but it made people even more say she's lying it's melissa it's melissa now listen i as an averil head myself as a skater boy as a skater boy myself um i don't think that it's a clone i think she's always been averil and she just tied her hair but this led us down a dark crazy road where spencer found out there's a website where you can

create or see your own doppelgangers around the world so i haven't seen these yet he found our doppelgangers are Melissa's if you will and he's gonna airplay them and um wait around the world so these are real people real people right radio paper okay so I had so I was doing this and I realized the only pictures I had was from when we were testing if we had like killer eyes and so everyone everyone's like looking right in the camera that's good who do you what you guys want to do first you yeah what's there with you okay just go down the line dude so this is my first. What? What? So it's an interesting website. What is send a PM? You can send this motherfucker a private message? Hey, I'm your doppelkanger. So it keeps going. They give you like different

like, like, really. Whoa. I don't see it at all. This guy looks like me as a kid. That's interesting. That's what I look like as a kid. Um, I'm nervous because people will send me random DMs of like, oh, is this you? And it's like a guy being arrested and stuff. And I'm like, What? Is that Chris? This is Chris. Okay. You kind of just got a... Oh, that second one, a little bit.

Annie's German. Annie German. I see it in the eyes and like the beard and the brows a little bit. It's a little too dark. That is literally fucking Chris. Do that face right now. Wait, that face right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yes, that is Chris. Oh, my God. Okay, give me Rylans. So, holy. That shit. Yeah, so you guys came up in them. Oh. I'll say, whoa, dear, that even looks like change.

It only gave you 89% for this. Uh, kind of. No. A little bit. I can kind of see that. The eyes, the mouth, the nose. I can see how they put it in there, but it's not exact. Let's see a little bit.

I feel like mine's easy. Fat bald red hair, boom, there I am. That's me. I get pictures like this in my DM's like, dude, I found your twin. Oh. There I am. The eyes. Dude, solid beard, bro.

No one will ever be closer to me though than the Mythbusters guy. We're doppelangers. That's true. All right, here we go. Well, Shane's is just all. Oh no. Just all you. It's like, yeah, so it's all. Oh, my God.

It's all you. You are in every picture. Wait, that's not me. That kind of looks like me. No. You don't see it. I see it. That looks like me too. You guys don't see it? That looks like you. Either way. Good job, dude.

Good job. Well, speaking of fake celebrities, this was really weird. Okay, so this is an update on, do you guys remember a while ago? We talked about the fake Jenna Ortega. And I couldn't figure out if she was AI or not. or if it was real. With, like, Leo? Yeah, there was a Lou DiCaprio as well, yeah. So, Spencer, you texted me about this.

You saw that Jenna Ortega was live. This is so weird. Okay. Yeah, so this is a clip from, there's just this ongoing live stream of this. There's a whole,

they have like five million subscribers now or something like that. What? It's literally just like, it's like lofi beats. You know, there's like, lofi beats to study to. It's just like, I don't know,

there's no audio here, but it's literally just like, da-dan-dan-da-da. And she's just like doing this. You're telling me that's not a real person? But look at the hands. I feel like the hands are a giveaway. What's wrong with that? I don't know. What do you mean? Well, it looks like it fits her face. The hands of a 50 year old. Wow. I think that's a real person. I know. But the stream is 24-7. Well, yeah, but they only need like

30 minutes of her and then they can loop it. Yeah. So, I mean, it gets weirder. There's a whole, like, fake. You know, those like wired videos where it's like, we answer questions. They did like a fake version of that. Hello. Do you actually looks at much like Otagon? Or is there some types of Special effects on a cop happening. I'm a trail. It's a deep fake. Isn't it the tub risk? Oh, wait.

She just admitted it? Yeah. That's queen shit. She was just like, yeah, I'm fake. I like it. Me too. I don't think I like anything, AI. They're getting really good.

And if she's not getting a piece of this money, I'd be pissed. Well, not to jump ahead because later we have a chat GPT. Chat GPT. I think so. I keep fucking that up. Well, we have the whole thing on chat GPT later in the show that's insane. But before we get to that, let me just give it a little spoiler. So did you hear about the Scarlet Johansin thing?

Yes. So they actually reached out to her and said, hey, we want you to be the voice of chat GPT. Like, can you, you know, we'll pay you. And she was like, no, fuck off. They did it anyways. And they literally recreated her voice. Here's a video of that.

Hey there. It's going great. How about you? I see your rock in an open AI hoodie. Nice choice. So then, yeah, she's suing. She put out a statement and she was like, uh, what the fuck?

She explained the whole thing. Isn't that crazy? that they just did that? Hasn't Scarlett Johansen made it clear not to fuck with her? Like, hasn't she battled the studios and won? She likes Sue Disney. And she's so rich and powerful and hot. She's a queen.

I wouldn't dare. Other thing about this is, you know that movie Her where she plays like an AI voice in the guy's ears? Hello, I'm here. Hi. Hi. I'm Samantha. So that Sam Altman's the head of this Open AI.

That's his favorite movie. He's like, this is my favorite movie. And he said, I think if you did the voice, people would accept it and not be. so scared by AI because it's something they're comfortable. That was his like pitch to her. She was like, no, that's really creepy. What the fuck?

Okay, I just have a couple really quick celebrity conspiracy theories. This first one. So in a previous episode, we talked about the color theory with celebrities. Do you remember that? Yes. Where it was like Olivia Rodrigo. She chooses purple. Everything is purple.

Beyonce, she chose silver. Taylor Swift. She chose red. Jared blush. Huh? From now on, yeah. Okay. So yeah.

If you want to become an icon. iconic huge celebrity you have to choose a color to associate with Kim Kardashian nude I don't mean like titty I mean like the color name yeah you know it could be both though that's kind of deep so I noticed this and I don't know if anybody else has but there's a new singer on the scene she's not new she's been around for a while but Sabrina Carpenter does anybody know who she is we talked about her in the last episode yes I only know because of right I'm obsessed I'm watching all of her live performances from everything well is there anything you've noticed about miss Sabrina recently uh she wears a lot of white no

She doesn't. She wears a lot of blue. Oh, she wears a lot of blue. Baby blue specifically. If you look up Sabrina Carpenter Blue, she's always wearing baby blue. All of her performances, the Coachella performance, like every girl that's trying to look like her right now is using baby blue on their clothes, on their makeup. Like that is her thing. I think she's trying to do the thing. I think she saw the Olivia Rodriguez purple thing and she's like, here's my outing. Here's my chance. Because I went into it, I can't think of any other celebrity who's used baby blue as their color. Have you? Not at all. So, yeah, I can't think of any other celebrity that's doing that. Very, very smart.

So there you go. If you keep, what? She's just a hot little ticket. I love her. You sound like a dad. If I, a dad from the 50s. If I were going to have, if I was going to have a woman celebrity crush, it's her right now. Wow.

Wow. Okay. This is the last celebrity one. This is really stupid. But Jared might actually know this one. Do you remember the song Sierra Goodies? I'm thinking of the milkshake song. You're thinking me with them.

But these goodies. I'm not just for any of a man who is trying to get on top, hang on on me later. You don't remember that song? I do now. I just want to hear you sing it. Oh. Oh yeah, dude, duh.

I'm going to listen to it right now. How was this going to go on for? I got a simple reputation for handling problems. All I need is me of you saying it's a mo and that's a rap. Okay. This has been going viral and I thought this was so funny. I love this was so funny. Okay, you're not going to get this. But hope, do you get the song, right? You know the lyrics and the words. So here we go. So Sierra Goodies. Okay. This is really

crazy story. Sean Garrett, Sierra, write the song. The song is called cookies, my cookies. I'm like, man, that shit is terrible. Y'all got to go back in there. Cookies. They go back in. All they change is one word. They change cookies to goodies. And it's, it goes from trash to smash off of one word. For me, that's like the most incredible shit ever, because you don't think that one word can change the song. And if you listen to the lyrics,

that's why she said, if you're looking for the goodies, they're in the jar, because it was fucking cookie jar. Oh. What? I'm never going to be able to hear that song to say. Okay. Like, I, if you're looking for the cookies, keep on looking because they stay in the jar.

Oh, my God. Why did I not think about that? Why did I not think that was weird that she's talking about things staying in jars I did think that was weird but I was like I'm just not cool enough to get it I feel like that one was for me it really shook me right I don't know why it shook me too when I was watching that I was like oh

the jar yeah is making Denver cool she's she's out there living in Denver I love her okay before we get to the grand finale which is the chat GPT situation let me just say this this is something I noticed recently that was really pissing me off I've noticed it forever we've talked about it forever the green bubble situation

when it comes to Android versus iPod not the fucking bubble so recently i was in a situation where we were dealing with some health insurance stuff and i had to send pictures of something to multiple people at once right so we're driving i'm trying to send these pictures and they all are green bubble people which no offense but oh my god i will buy you an iphone and send you right now please like none of the bubbles were going through the pictures weren't working rylan's like you have to send one at a time you can't send more than one or it won't work and then the picture came through but it was fuzzy so i had to it was a whole situation and then i was like wow is it my service like what is it my service like what is

it then I was talking about it with Spencer and you said that there is a lawsuit going on yeah so there's just huge lawsuit going on the government is suing Apple for a ton of stuff they think they think they have a monopoly basically on like phone but um one of the big things is that they're pushing them on is that Apple is like pushing the green bubble thing you know what I mean and they're making they're creating this thing so literally this exact conversation happens it's like oh fuck it like I got to get an iPhone like my pictures aren't going through this and they're saying like Apple is purposely which we know we've talked about before like and so they're they're actually suing them.

So I'm curious to see. And I used to be Team Apple, but I'm really starting to fucking turn on them. I'm so sick of their fucking shit. You run out of space on their phones and you're trapped. I literally am out of memory, so I had to then go pay for a brand new phone

with more space. You can't get it off your phone. And so I'm like, oh, maybe all these people on different phone platforms are onto something, and Apple has us all trapped. First world problems.

But I will say, when someone has the green bubble, which I fucking hate, Whenever they like a text I gotta read my whole text over again Because it doesn't just like it It's like so and so Like your text

The whole text Can other green bubbles text green bubbles Like Google pixel text Androids And it's seamless Yeah it's only iPhone that has this issue Everyone else their phones play nice With each other It's just Apple

And have you seen the Zoom on the Samsung phone No shit's crazy It is crazy you're right yeah You can see like from three blocks away Maybe I should go shopping Yeah why not Well speaking of phones Being scary

just watch this so the next one is from burrito john 78 who asks can you tell what you're feeling just by looking at your face absolutely let's try it up hey chat gpt hey there what's up yeah so i'm gonna show you um a selfie of what i look like and then i'd like you to try to see what emotions i'm feeling is that high i was just going to say that sounds like a fun challenge go ahead and show me that selfie and i'll put my emotional detective hat on depressed Excuse me. So what kind of emotions do you think I'm feeling? It looks like you're feeling pretty happy and cheerful, with a big smile and maybe even

a touch of excitement. Whatever's going on, it seems like you're in a great mood. Care to share the source of those good vibes? Yeah, no, the reason I'm in a really good mood is because we were doing a presentation showcasing how useful and amazing you are. Ew. So now... That guy definitely has a relationship with a fucking AI spot.

Now, okay, when we did that conspiracy video, what was that like a use? ago now. I don't really remember, but we did a conspiracy video where we showed the Snapchat AI thing and how we took a picture and it told us what was in the picture. What was that? Sorry. I'm just getting prepared for what. And how we took a picture of something and it was like, that's a fireplace. And we're like, oh, my God, it can see. Well, now they're not even hiding it. They're like, oh, we can see and we can emotionally detect and say what you look like and what you're feeling and all this shit. And we sound like Scarlett Johansson. What the fuck are they trying to do?

Take over us. I'm the only one who's terrified that we're all going to die. Why am I the only one? You go back and forth too, though. What? Because even when we were at the drive-thru the other day and the person was kind of like, I'm kind of into AI taking my order. You're right, specifically, because we had someone taking an order and it was a nightmare

experience. And I was like, all right, maybe for this specifically. Speaking of Chad GPT, Spencer. Hi, I'm Trisha, your friend and jeweler at Shane Company, where we're all about you. Your style, your budget, your dream engagement. ring. Are you looking for a style that's classic, modern, vintage, or something in between? Not sure? At Shane Company, we're here to help. We have so much style under one roof because a friend knows you like options. Drop by or visit us at shanko.com. Shane Company, your friend and jeweler.

We thought it would be fun. If you went on chat GPT and you asked him or her or whatever it is to write a script, for the show. Explain what you did. Yeah, so I was just playing around. We thought it would be funny to, like, see if Chad GPT could write part of the podcast. And so I put in a bunch of different premises sort of saying, like, hey, you know, these are all the hosts on the podcast, a little description, and then, like, give us a funny thing with a twist at the end.

And so this is a script that Chad GPT wrote. I think it kind of knows the podcast. I don't know. I don't know. Whoa. Thanks for listening. It should. I mean, it knows everything.

But what did you tell them about? Did you tell them, like, who we were? Okay. Okay, so you can listen to see how this came out, but yeah, it was like, Shane is the host, Ryland is his husband, Jared likes conspiracies, and then I said, Chris is gay, and it really ran with that. That really is what you identify as. Are we doing a table read for our?

Yes. This is fun. Oh, my God. Okay, and just so everyone knows, I'm available if you like my acting, you can contact me. Here we go. Hey, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the Shane Dawson podcast. podcast. They clearly don't actually listen because that's not how I start the show, but whatever.

I'm your host, Gene Dawson, and today we have a special summer themed episode. I did kind of say that. I'm here with my amazing husband, Ryland, my brother Jared, and our fabulous friend, Chris, and of course our behind the scenes, Genius, Spencer. Did you put Genius in that? No, I just said he's the producer. I didn't say anything else. How are you guys doing today? Hey, babe, I'm feeling great, ready to soak up some virtual sunshine and spill some summertime tea. I'm just here for the barbecue talk and maybe a while conspiracy theory or two. And I'm here to keep things fabulous and maybe flirt with some cute life cards. Summer's the best season for that, right?

I'm just trying not to melt in this heat. Oh. No, it made me really like depressed. You're like Eeyore? All right, well, let's kick this off with a fun question. What's everyone's favorite summer memory? Oh, definitely the time we went to that beach in Malibu, remember Shane? we thought we'd have a romantic day

but then you got stung by a jellyfish and I had to you know do the thing Oh my god, Rylan why did you bring that out? Yes, he had to pee on my leg True love folks Classic

For me it got to be our family road trips Remember those? Shane the ones where dad would make us sing 99 bottles of beer on the wall until he wanted to scream Yes, those trips were the best Even though you always got the window seat

My favorite summer memory has to be when I went to pride for the first time. Oh my God. The colors, the people, the energy is like nothing else. That sounds amazing, Chris. All right, let's shift gears a bit. Summer's also a time for weird news and bizarre events. Ryland, I thought you had something funny to share.

Yes, so I read this article about a guy who tried to cook a steak on his car dashboard because it was so hot outside, and he actually managed to cook it medium rare. That's a real man-verse wild situation. I'm tempted to try that out. here in California. Just make sure it's not your only source of protein for the day, Jared. We don't need you getting food poison. We're setting the car on fire.

Good point, Spencer. Okay, next segment. I thought it'd be fun to do a mini conspiracy corner. Whoa, they knew. Yeah, I didn't say anything about conspiracy corner. Chris, got any summer-themed conspiracies for us? Oh, do I ever? Have you guys ever heard the one about the hidden messages and sunscreen bottles?

Wait. Some people believe that... What is that pretty good? Some people believe that if you read the fine print with a magnifying glass under UV light, it reveals secret government messages. That's wild. Who even has time to check that? Probably the same people who think the earth is flattened tanning beds or portals to another dimension. Okay, I need to look into that one, though.

That's crazy. Is that real? Speaking of wild theories, I've got a twist for you all. This episode isn't just about fun in games. Spencer and I have been working on a surprise. Yeah, Shane, you want to tell them or should I? I'll do the honors. Guys, we're planning a summer road trip podcast tour.

We'll be hitting up some of the weirdest and most wonderful spots across the country and recording our adventures. No way. That is so epic. That is going to be so much fun. Imagine the content will get. And the people will meet. I can't wait. It's going to be a lot of work, but I think it'll be worth it.

Absolutely. So get ready for the craziest. summer of your lives. Thanks for tuning in, everyone. We'll catch you out on the road. And remember, stay safe, stay cool, and stay curious. Bye. Was this just a weird way of saying we're about to go on a tour?

I literally, in the ad read for this episode brought up, should we do a tour? That's crazy. It didn't even know that. Also, that was like something I think I've said on this podcast. Like, I love pride. I went to pride, like how much it meant to me. It was like something I said. Stay safe, stay cool, and stay curious is genius.

Merge. Well, okay, that was crazy. But side note, I'm not scared of AI anymore. But also, if you guys want us to go on a tour or do a live show somewhere, let us know in the comments. You think we're going on tour with two babies? No, we're not. But maybe one show somewhere. Okay, that's fun.

That would be so fun. Okay, so that was our fake episode. That was crazy. That was fun. It was fun. Honestly, we should do it every time. Well, speaking of the end of time. Speaking of staying curious.

No, speaking of super fabulously talented people. Here's a recap. My camera action. Ryland's recap is about to happen. Ryland's recap. On today's episode, whoa. On today's summer-themed episode of the Shane Dawson podcast, Spencer reveals the stinky vagina.

He's fingered, and it gets worse. My God. I said during the break, I said, I was really scared to eat someone out after that because I thought that was just like how all vaginas were, and they stunk. How do they taste? Like a penny. Yeah, kind of. Like a penny.

Metallic. Whoa. Gypsy Rose, though, dude. Gypsy Rose comes through with prison hacks that will change your life. Don't have an energy drink. Try everything in your pantry combined. That girl's boyfriend jerks off too much. Oh, if your boyfriend jerks off too much

Is my husband care? Well, the sugar daddy might be I don't want to say it I want you to say it I don't think I can do it better than that Okay Was the podcast you've seen today? You've been real

Chat GBTGBT wrote the entire episode See, he said GBT too, right? Really? It's hard, it's hard I may say it half of the time Yeah Oh, Spencer and Chris are lifeguards Ooh, lifeguard alert.

If your summer is heating up, then make sure you hire Spencer and Chris to be your lifeguards. They're super qualified. Chris, uh, party with some Nazis on accident. Oh, oh, if you thought you've done some hardcore partying in your life, think again, Chris has partied hard with Nazis

and has gang members on his side. Can you level up, Chris? Let us know in the comments below. Um, I fucked a pineapple. Oh, my. My husband has not jacked off in a target dressing room, thank God. He just fucks pineapples in the spare time. Makes me question if I'm good enough.

The Jared Diet can soup and popsicles. Looking to get slim for summer to get in that pool to show off for Chris and Spencer, your sexy lifeguards. Try a diet of popsicles and soups. When that doesn't work out, try drugs. Stop it. Get some help. No. Oh, my God. No, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, don't do drugs. Drugs didn't work, right, Jared? Well, how about this? If all you care about is losing weight and you don't mind also losing family, friends, money, then, yeah, they're not bad. Scarlett Johansson is pissed, and for good reason. Chat GPT has stolen her name and likeness,

and if we know anything about our queen, Scarjo, she's going to put up a fight and kill everyone. Sabrina Carpenter, Blue. Ooh, if you're looking to take over the world, Choose a color, but you can't take baby blue because Sabrina Carpenter has beat you to it. Oh, just when you thought Sierra's song was written about goodies. Plot twist, it was about cookies.

That shook me to my core. Way too much, like way more than it should have. Green bubble people. Oh! Wow, in a rage of passion. As a blue bubble user myself, I am now thinking about turning on Apple. As enraging as it is to get a text from a green bubble person,

I think we should all ban together against Apple and become green bubble people ourselves. Who's with me? Okay, I'm voting for him. Wow. Okay, that's it. And there you guys go. That's it for this week's episode of the Shane Dawson podcast. Make sure you, oh, yeah, you listen in every time.

Are you okay? I'm just catching your vibe. I love you. Make sure you shop your Shane Dawson merch. Shane Dawsonmerch.com. Any promo codes? Nope. Okay.

And make sure you're subscribed to everyone's YouTube channels following us on Instagram. And we love you so much. Thanks for watching. We'll see you next time. Good night. Oh, there you guys go. Hopefully enjoyed whatever the hell that was. Brought to you by Chat GPD.

Wow. What a nightmare. Are you guys ready for summer? Are you excited? Was this the perfect way to kick it off? Yes. Okay, bye. We'll see you guys next time.

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