The Shane Dawson Podcast - Pop Culture Conspiracy Theories! LOVE IS BLIND, Stanley Cups, and Dune!

Episode Date: March 31, 2024

Pop Culture Conspiracy Theories! Love Is Blind, Stanley Cups, and Dune! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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slash c-o-n-t-r-o-l for your free trial that's aura dot com slash control have you ever seen love is fine oh yeah okay you know they have gold cups in every season in every scenario whether they're at a restaurant or they're in the bubble or whatever they all are using gold cups really weird is it because they have mics in them

ooh good guess no it's a very random and it's for some reason it kind of creeps me out So the reason they all have these gold cups is because... Wow. That is so crazy because it's such a good show that you're now thinking, is what I consumed even real? Hey, welcome back to whatever the hell this is slumber party edition. Yes. Okay, so this is very, very random, and I know.

I'm too old for this. I think we're all too old for this. honestly what do you think is the cut off age for slumber parties it depends on if you're seeing it through or not you know you guys aren't actually spending the night that might be weird okay well let me explain so we were coming up with ideas for the podcast today and i was like oh i want to play this game and i want to play this game and then i was like all of these games are kind of a theme it's almost like slumber party games and then i was like oh my god we could be wearing pajamas and onesies we could have snacks like we could just really popcorn m&Ms no i have something even better

but we'll save it. So, yeah, this is the slumber party edition of the podcast. So if you're watching it home and you're not in your pajamas, bitch, what are you doing? Get on your onesie. Chris's onesie he's wearing has a thing on the back where you can open it, and it's for a dick. Or her poop. Yeah, either or really. Yeah.

And plot twist, it's actually Spencer's Wednesday. Okay, so let's really quickly go around the room and talk about, well, before I get to that, let me just say, if you think, oh, God, here we go again, and they're not going to talk about conspiracies or just talking about their stupid fucking onesies, stick around because we have a conspiracy later in the show that is so fucked up. I didn't even want to know about it. I was like, Jared, just save it.

Just save it for the podcast because it's so crazy. So that's coming soon. But before we get to that, Jared, what are you wearing? It's a bear onesie. And like I've said, I feel like the Mario version when he gets into the bear suit. Tanuki. Tanuki.

And I also feel like, do you remember that song that you and me, baby, Ain't nothing but mammals I feel like the guy is singing the song Was in his exact same onesie in the music video I do see this being like very fashionable I think if I went to Fashion Week in this People would be like

Whoa dude he's so next level Wow he's ahead of his time Like Kanye would wear that in Paris Oh yeah in like five years You know what I mean That's what Connie's gonna be wearing exactly And Sandy she's rocking A Care Bear sweater

I feel like we're just the bare cave of the corner of the podcast today. You're catching the bears. Yes. I've already caught my himself on. She's a chaser. And it is ironic because it has a frog on it and she says I have frog legs. What?

Yeah. Because they're so long and like. And my body is so fat. I look like a frog. Does he sit in a position? Yeah, sometimes if he's like on a recliner, he'll just like put his legs up like that. Okay. So I don't want to interrupt our fashion show.

Oh my God. We never played the fashion update. song. Fashion update. Anyways. So not to interrupt the fashion show, we'll get back to it. But, okay, your legs are frog legs. You yesterday, what did you say about my legs?

No, you always say that you have pork chops. And I said, I, and we're watching Love is Blind, which actually doesn't turn into anything productive because then it just turns into like small fights because I'll be like, you don't do that for me. Or like, this guy's cooking his now fiancee, this beautiful breakfast. And I was like, you never wake up and make me pancakes. It turns into things like that and one of them was talking about the appearance of another when the reveal happened and I think the person was heavier than they thought and I don't like where this is going. Was it the one where she said she looks like Megan Fox?

Do you ever get told you it looked like a celebrity? No, it was not that one, but that was brutal. But I also feel like she kind of does look like Megan Fox. She does resemble her. I was disappointed by the humor in a post that I saw in real life because she really did look like her. So anyways, I somehow said like I love your. pork chops like there's something I love about you and he was so offended and I was like that's what you've been calling them forever so if you're putting that upon yourself I feel like

I'm allowed to also put that upon you last little fight before we get back to the fashion then I said we were talking about how much we love each other and then I was just like you're perfect or something no you did not I think that's what I said I don't or I said something like do you think I'm perfect or I said like a joke I said perfect for me oh I said you think that perfect goes perfect for me that is so fucked up nobody's perfect for me yeah because you're not perfect yeah it's kind of like yeah for me well i mean he's just saying like maybe rylan is saying like i'm it's a particular type of person and only you could be able to be to find that you know yeah you just literally three episodes to go i'm saying oh here we go again fights with shane and ryan

Fight with Shane and Ryland Shane and Ryland I'm saying how we compliment each other You pick up your slack in the things you don't do But then I pick up the slack in the things that you don't do So we compliment each other And we're perfect for each other Okay and I love you

I love you so much Okay Spencer what are you wearing Well I got a Garfield shirt on He doesn't do Mondays Well look at us you guys Just a bunch of adults looking for him stupid fighting and what about me well you're okay and then I'm embarrassed I literally asked Shane what he liked about me yesterday and he had to think about it really hard and I said

this hard you have to think he said no I like how excited you get to see me oh well he was probably trying to figure out how to collect all of his words to be able to pinpoint which one that would describe all of them yeah nothing good happens fast okay including answers the questions. Sandy's the sweetest, most positive human, I think that I know. Like, you find positive for everything. Jared the other day was like, see, we were filming and he said, Sandy, he said, are you going to always end on a positive note? And I said, do you not know what era I'm in right now? Okay. Like, yeah. What is the era? Just like positivity, you know. Changing perspective for us. You know. I'm going to take on that era too right now.

Starting now. Starting right now. How funny would that be if you went to your doctor like, I'm just trying to like get a new era. Would you prescribe to me for that, you know? I'm trying to be in my positive era right now. Okay, send her downstairs, you know? Yeah, yeah. Okay, well, speaking of switching eras, we're going to completely switch eras on the show.

Ere, Ere, Ere, and have, oh. All right, it's a new thing I'm trying to this era I'm in. I'm in my ERA, ERA, ERA. You're in your beera. Oh, wow. There it is. Okay, so I got an email from Ellie, and she said, it's Ellie again, ha-ha.

Have we read Ellie's emails before? Must have. Maybe. Hey, Ellie. So Ellie said, I hope you guys are doing great. We are kind of. She said she saw a TikTok that said if you eat a pretzel with a grape, it tastes like fried chicken. Now, every slumber party needs a snack.

So Spencer is going to pass out some plates. And we're going to do the little experiment. This sounds delicious, but I'm not getting fried chicken. And we're just going right in with a fried chicken conspiracy. This is crazy. There's no chance. Is this going to end like the slumber parties I went to? Am I going to wake up in a pool of my own piss?

I hope so. Just kidding. We also have a real piece of fried chicken. To compare. There's no way, right? It's so crazy that humans look at this and we get like mouth watered. So here is a video of a bunch of guys getting really high and trying this. Now, they're using green grapes, but supposedly red grapes are the move.

Oh, okay. Here we go. If you eat a pretzel and then a grape, it tastes like. fried chicken i promise you i'm not gonna he's fucked up out of his mind okay so first pretzel and great oh my god he's convinced wow so here we go i'm excited so the pretzels first yeah i think that try the experiment first okay i'm gonna make a little sandwich i'm gonna put the grape on top of the pretzel they were for you by the way my favorite thing about that video was all the comments were like the chicken is not the only fried

thing in this video ooh dude fucking TikTok dude it doesn't taste even kind of not even a little bit not even one percent no

I'm gonna have to take a bite of my chicken just in case okay what did the grape do for that what element of a grape has anything to do with the taste of a fried chicken wow yuck

okay well that was a flop um okay well let's move on to So I have a couple options here. Obviously I want to play Mafia because I feel like that is my favorite game to play with this group. Although today- I know I'm already like on edge. But before we get to Mafia, I want to try a couple other like sleepover type games. And I was like, what did I like to play when I was a teenager?

And I remembered, do you remember the game Apples to Apples? Yes. Okay. So the version that people play now is Cards Against Humanity, which I'm sure everybody's heard of and played. Oh yeah. So I want to try this, but I was like, ooh, this could get really bad. Because there's some very offensive things in here. So I feel like that could make it fun

So oh you've never played I don't think I were I mean I've played but it's been so long I can't remember how Okay so we all are gonna get black cards So the black cards are the topics right So an example would be like My favorite sex position right And then all of us have white cards

So the person that reads the black card reads it And then all the white cards put in their funniest idea And then the black card reader We'll read them all and pick the funniest one Oh yeah it's kind of like what do you mean Yeah That game. I've never played it.

Oh, so fun. Yeah, you get a card with a picture on it, and then everybody has a phrase that could be the meme for that. Yes. So here's how I'm going to do it. I'm going to read the topic. You guys are going to pick your funniest answer, and then I'm going to read them.

I'm not going to know who submitted, so you guys can roast me. You could be as mean as you want. Maybe not too mean. Okay, ready? So my category is, Hey, Reddit, I'm blank. Ask me anything.

Wow. This feels mean. That's the point. I like it. I can take it. I can take it. All right. Everybody passed the mission.

Who do I hand it to? I just changed mine, so hopefully it's... I'm scared. This could really flop. Oh, no. I got a good one. Me too. Okay, here we go.

Hey, Reddit. I'm applying topical ointment to my grandfather's infected penis. Ask me anything. Not bad. You're a caring person if you're doing that, though. That's like the nicest thing you can do. It honestly is.

Cheap trick. It's cheap tricks with Jerry. Fly o'am it to penises. Hey, Reddit. I'm firing a rifle into the air while balls deep in a squealing hog. Wow. This game goes there, dude.

Hey, Reddit. I'm pro-life protesters. Ask me anything. Okay. Hey, Reddit. I'm vomiting seafood and bleeding anally. Okay. That's not yours?

No. Okay. And then the final one, Hey, Reddit. I'm an unwanted pregnancy. Literally. Really? No, really?

It was the case. And look at you. It's fine. Okay. I would say the winner is applying topic appointment to my grandfather's about to be nice. Good job.

Look at us coming back together. Okay, Jared. Mine is kind of weird. It's just this Italian-looking gentleman saying nothing. Oh, what's chef's kiss? Why? So what you do with that one

is you read the answer and then you go, oh. Cool. Get creative, guys. So it would be like applying ointment to my grandpa's penis. Yes. Okay. Oh, yes, that's good. Okay. So, heteronormit.

Oh, no. What? I've never read a book, man. This is a tough word. Heteronormitivity. What does that mean? Can someone define that? It's like straight, being straight. Yeah, straight man. Oh, okay. Being straight.

Parting and walking away. A man on the brink of an orgasm. Yuck. Pooping in a laptop and closing it. Ew. Fake tits. So I picked a winner. I think, you know, because this one is really summoned me up a lot more than I thought it would.

farting and walking away. I knew I was. This game, you have to know your audience. Right. I was killing it. Good job, Riley. Thank you. Okay, mine's white people like.

Oh, yeah. All right, here we go. I'm really nervous about this one. So, wait, it's white people like things they like? Yes. Oh, I believe so. I think it's whatever you want it to be. Mine's not good.

All right. So, again, my card says, white people like being a dick to children. My bright pink fuckhole I hope that was Jared I really hope that was Jared Oh my gosh Being able to talk to elephants Oh

As The milkman That's true Just to let you guys know Mine fucking flopped and I thought it was hilarious Being able to talk to elephants Because who else do you see out there Trying to talk to elephants

It's always fucking white people I love that you fight for your call Yeah, I just I'm politicking for it Don't pick it just because I'm saying that I'm gonna say Oh, that's hard The milkman

What? Did you expect to win with that one? I feel like we were kind of tied for last on that. It was between that one and being a digital That was mine And I'm disappointed. I would have been three for three.

Wow. Wow. What a curveball you just threw at everybody. You know? Wow. This is really fun. I love it. Okay.

Spencer, you ready? Okay. Mine is, my favorite sex position is called Blank Style. I got the perfect card for this. Okay. My favorite sex position is called MeTime style. Yes. I like that one.

Okay, not bad. Sort of making it seem like I don't have sex in them. Very masturbatory. Insulting the host That's how you're trying to win My favorite sex position is called The Bombing of Nagasaki style Whoa

I don't think it's that intense Wow My favorite sex position is called the death penalty Wow That's a good one very good This is a good one My favorite sex position is called Judge Judy style Okay, I see it

That's good And this one is pretty classic My favorite sex mission is called Doing it in the butt style. I like that one. I think my favorite is actually Judge Judy. Oh my God. Okay, what was your runner up?

Overdoing it in the butt style? That was a good one too. I just like, because what does that mean? It means Judy. It means. I know that means. I'm talking about Judge Judy. What is doing it in the butt mean?

I also like the death penalty. I thought that was a good. Yes. Okay. That was good. All right. You're just being nice to everybody. How long are you supposed to keep this on your face?

Oh, you can take it off now. Yeah, like 10 minutes. I would prefer it, actually. Just keep it on. Ooh, wow, you're glowing. The clearest it's ever been. Okay, Chris. You make it prove proud.

What's your category? It just says, what's my secret power? Oh, my God. Oh, no. Do we want to offend the host? I feel like they're all mean. I'm okay with mean if it's funny. What's it one more time?

Oh, it says, what's my secret power? My cards aren't very good. I feel like everyone has 100. course. Okay. I know. I only have like three. Are we ready? What's my secret power? My secret power are dick fingers. Ooh. Practical. Nice. That'd be fun. Um, my secret. Okay. Where there's a theme. My secret power are three dicks at the same time. Wow. Three and one whole triple penetration. Who knows? Whoa. TP, baby. That was a secret power. There's double penetration. My secret power is a micro penis.

Oh, my secret. Hi, I'm Danny L'Opriori. Ever get the feeling you're being watched online? It's not paranoia. It's data brokers. These companies collect your personal information, including your browsing habits, where you live, and even who you're related to,

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Wow. That is a superpower. Jeez. Well, see if it's a superpower. My secret power is horse meat. That's the best one. I think that's the best one right thing. Horse meat. I'm campaigning for horse meat.

That's good. Wow. Well. It's a deep, it's a high-brow one, for sure. Whoever makes that pretty smart. I just love the idea of dickfingers, so I'm going to go to dick fingers. Yes. All right.

I knew it. Yeah, Dick Fingers. Catch up. If you had dick fingers for one day, what's the first thing you would do? I would just fuck ten holes at the same time. You know what I mean? With my dick fingers. How would you?

Yeah, they'll have to be close. Right. Maybe they're really long. I wonder if they all feel good for you too. So you can be woke. You imagine the orgasm. But what if they were growers? So they look like you had little nut fingers.

You'd have to get hard to get anything done. That's true. You have to watch porn to type. Okay, grand finale. It's Rylans' turn. All right. Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's blank.

That was fake. I don't think it's funny, actually. I just keep thinking about what Krista looked like with, like, his hair. They're micro now? All right. Finalee. Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's announcing that I'm about to come. Whoa.

Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's anal beads. I like that. Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's a stray pub. That's fair. No it isn't Maybe she's born with it

Maybe it's our Tilda Maybe she's born with it Maybe it's my ugly face and bad personality Yikes You know The most practical one is that Who wins I don't know who's that

Is that yours Chris? It's shades Nope I wouldn't Are you kidding? That was actually mine. I'm a good person. I would never.

It's practical. I like it. I'm not offended. Anal Beads was hilarious. It was very funny. Okay. Yes, it was mine, but I know it's funny because it's not true. You're not going to offend me.

Wow. Okay, wait. So who, I wasn't keeping track points. I think Ryland won. Ryland, you're the winner. Congratulations. You win. Horse meat.

You win horse meat for your pink fuck. Okay, now that kind of took longer than I was expecting. Should we just do like one round of Mafia? Yeah, let's do it. Because now, I wanted to do Mafia because I got punishments. So for the losers, whoever loses the round of mafia gets their choice of trying either pickle-flavored jelly beans. Oh, I'll throw up. Or Dr. Pepper Peeps.

That sounds pretty good. That's a price. That's a price. Just the pickles. I should get the peeps for winning the last game. You know, I didn't know until a few years ago that pickles are just cucumbers. No, they're not. Yeah.

Prove it. Yeah. Pickles are dressed. Prove it. Yeah, they are. They're pickles. What? How can you just say that without?

I thought pickles were its own thing. You can grow pickles if you wanted to. Yeah. No. So. It's cucumbers that have been, you know, dipped in vinegar. Are you being serious, Ryland? Yes.

No, you're not. I am. Dude, this guy's, on fucking fire with the acting. I know. Real talk. All right. Is every member of this sleepy little town, everyone, see what they are?

Yes. Yes. All right, it's a nice, you know, we just had a nice slumber party. I think it's time to hit the hay. So why doesn't everyone close your eyes and go to sleep? Mafia, please awaken. Would you please point at who you would like to kill? All right, go to sleep.

Detective, time for work. Open your eyes. Who do you think? The Mafia is. Go to sleep. Guardian Angel, please wake up. Who would you like to save? Okay, okay.

Go to sleep. Ah, cockadoodle do. It's another beautiful morning. It was quite an eventful night last night in this town. Let me tell you. We had a nice slumber party, and Ryland decided, you know, go out for one of his cigarette breaks. Go out for a one, I smoke.

You motherfucker. On rollerblades. Yep, he was roll-blading around the area. Headed to a dick appointment. When suddenly the mafia drops out of a tree that you're rollerblading under and stabs you. Oh my gosh. But in a crazy, multiple crazy twist of fate, the detective, which was you, you were out on detective duty. You managed to catch a glimpse of who was killing you.

And you pointed a finger, and just at that moment, the guardian angel rushed by and saved you, Ryland. So we just had a complete round of mafia all in one night. Ryland was attacked, figured out who the mafia was, and was saved. So nothing happened. Wait, hold on. What's the detective? Yeah, that was new to me. The detective makes a guess at who the mafia is.

But what did they get? I thought we're all, did they get confirmation? Yeah, so if you get it right, you get it right. Oh, I don't think. So who do you think the mafia is? Well, I woke up in Sandy's eyes. Well, because he threw me off when he was like, and I thought when he went to the detective,

but before then, I thought we were supposed to wake up. But I had suspicions to begin with because she was crinkling her paper like crazy. And I was going to, as soon as we all woke up, I was going to say, Sandy is the fucking mafia. No, I didn't even. No one has the paper. Why don't we try another round without a detective? Yeah.

And we'll still try to get it right. But who's saying? Oh, yeah, who was the guardian angel? Who was my guardian angel? It was... Chris! Look what that mask does, do you do? Thank you.

Chris has saved my life on multiple occasions this week. He saved me from ramming, backing into a car at full speed. My heart was racing. Twice in one week. So good. Okay, audience, play along with us. Ah, time to go to sleep. Everyone go to sleep.

Ah, what a nice night of sleep. Oh, another bright and beautiful morning. Everyone wake up, wake up, wake up. It's a beautiful morning, guys, but I have bad news. Shit. Jared's acting, too over the top. Something's off. Last night, you guys were all out, walking around on the town, hitting the bars, enjoying things.

Shane was like, you know, I need to go, I need for a bathroom break, guys. I'm going to hop out real quick. I'll be right back. He goes out to the outhouse, I guess. And guess who was waiting in there? No. Yeah, it was the mafia. And now Shane has unfortunately.

left the chat. I think that's what kids say. Shane is dead. And the guardian angel, they were somewhere else doing something. Doing something else. So unfortunately, Shane has passed away.

But now townspeople, and you guys at home, who do you think is the mafia? Jared. Chris and then Ryanlin was the guardian angel. Why didn't choose me? I wouldn't kill you, though, after the drama that we've had today.

I'm like really trying to get back in your guardian angel and you didn't save me. The truth is revealed. The first time we played this game. Chris's reaction was too big, too big. Chris was playing it up a little bit. Oh, I don't have a voice, right? Because I'm dead.

Yeah, I mean. Unfortunately, it's Jared. He's been overacting since that we've woken up. And then the second somebody said, Shane said, Chris, Jared's like, yeah, Chris, because he's deflected. No, because I learned a little bit from the last time. So maybe, you know, I'm just, I'm playing a little bit. You said from the beginning that something was off. Which is something that the mafia would probably say.

I think diversion is the best tactic. I wouldn't have killed my husband. and I'm really trying hard to get in his good graces again, publicly dragging him. I know. Just to show you that he's a good excuse. Just to show you that he's not lying. This is what he just texted.

Oh, wow. That's very murderer-like. He's trying to get close. And it's not you, right, Sandy? No. That was kind of weird. That was weird.

That was weird. Listen, I already know who it is, okay? Who? I'm writing for this round. Who? Who is it? I think it's crazy. Chris.

The two of you are both on Chris? I mean, I can be convinced if that's the direction you want to go. That's what I'm thinking. I think it's Chris. You'll be sad. Is this vicious by your wife now, though, in that response? I still feel like it's Chris. Chris, are you the mafia?

Absolutely not. He didn't look at me in the eye. That was a little too smooth. No, go ahead and do it. You're wrong, but go ahead and do it. That's how I would behave. All right. What's the vote?

Townspeople, let's vote. Is it you, Jared? No. I think it's Chris. I'm torn. I don't know. Yeah. I'm so torn between Jared and Chris.

Or is it you, Ryland. Why are it? Because you're kind of... Cross my heart, hope to die. I don't think it's Ryland. Ryland's good at this game, but I don't think it's him. That would be too good. Okay.

I'm going to say it's Chris. Chris? I think it's Chris. I'll go with the majority just so that we have to clean both. I think... I'll go with majority. Sorry, Chris. You have saved me a lot this week.

Chris is sitting in a lot. home putting rainbow face mask body rub all over everything just enjoying a nice relaxing evening it's an active body rub and not because of that but for other reasons the town people are break down his door kill him they search everywhere in his apartment for clues for clue not because of that and guess what there were no clues he was an innocent gay man in his apartment in a rainbow mask isn't that always the case. All right, all right.

Well, it's time after that horrible deed. It's time to go to bed. Time to get some nice, stressful sleep. So please, everyone, Townsville, close your eyes. I get a watch. I don't have to because I'm dead, right? Oh, me and Chris get a watch. Yeah, you guys get to watch.

All right, everyone go to sleep. Mafia, please awaken. Who would you like to kill? Please go to sleep. Guardian Angel. Awaken. Who would you like to save? Very good, very good.

That was enlightening. Sorry, keep going. A few ghosts saying a few things around town. Ryland. Of course, because he knows that I know. Hold on, hold on, hold on. You were out for a nice bike ride. Just enjoying size.

First you were roller, and now you're biking around town. You know, you stop by, you watch the ducks in the pond. You get some ice cream, I guess. Thinking of all the gay things. That's like crazy specific. Ducks in a pond? I was just like it. It's about detail.

But as you're biking around town. Rollerblading. Yeah. Uh, yeah, biking with rollerblades on. I'm fluting. The mafia, once again, sticks a stick in your bike wheels. Sandy saved me. And try to flip.

Well, again, hold on. Oh, gosh. Gany's going to flip you right into an oncoming car. But who's driving that car and who hits the brakes right away? Ooh. The guardian angel saving you. So you are safe after another attempt. your life. Now, who do you guys think the mafia is? Well, that's easy. Can we band together and

know it's your husband? Yeah, of course. She is so good at this game. That's why you heard her folding it up. I'm sure she picked it again. Or Jerry, you got it twice last time somehow. Well, Ryan and I already know, get over yourself. Honestly, it's Jared. After the last time I watched this, I have to get suspicious of her because you're so good at it. Is it your wife? I think it's Sandy. Well, I don't know. You killed me the last round. Did I? Wow. So one of you has to convince me that you're not the mafia because I'm the deciding factor at this point. I think me killing you would be obvious because you were coming at me so hard.

And that's why he would kill you. I would have killed Sandy. I don't know. I think it's Jared. All right, Rylan. Unless it, yeah, no, it's you. Okay, last question. Sandy, is it Jared?

Yeah. Okay, it's Sandy. Jared, let's vote for Sandy. It's Sandy. It's Sandy. All right. It's not me. It's Jared.

All right. Well, the vote is. Wait, wait. Is it, because I don't want to eat the pickle. The pickle bill. Okay. She's like, no, no, no, this is real. It's Jared.

I'm telling you, Ryland, it's Jared. No, you're fighting too hard. No, if you get killed, you don't eat the pig. Perfect, okay. Well, the townspeople, Ryland and Jared, they storming, they say, Sandy, you're the mafia, they're mafia, and they take her,

they throw her in the lake with all the ducks. Whoa. What? I guess. Wow, dude. But they were looking through her pockets, and they didn't find anything. Jared, you snake.

And the mafia, Jared, walks away, clean as a whistle. I thought it was Jared the whole lot. But then when I was asking you about it, you were like grinning ear to ear like you're guilty. Because I was excited that I knew. I knew it from the very beginning. I knew it was Jared. I was a good one.

I just want you to know I saved you. Thank you. I had to redeem myself. I feel like last time I stunk up the place. But I must confess the first game, I was the mafia and I did kill you. And that's why there were multiple reasons why I had to. We go back on what I have. Try the pickle.

Oh, it smells horrible. Oh, my God. They somehow made it more potent than a little pickle. This is fucking disgusting. No way. Yikes. Well, enjoy your pickle. We're going to take a quick little break, and when we come back,

Vachina. Viewers are great. I need another. It's like black licorice combined with pickle. Hey, sorry to interrupt the episode. Please don't go anywhere. I have some advice for you. I know.

Why would you take advice? from me. Well, this is advice on something I understand very well. This is advice about your walls. Now, listen, you can say a lot of things about me. Trust me. I've heard it all. But you've never heard anybody say, you know what? Shane has blank walls. No, Shane has overly crowded, confusing, aggressive, somewhat tacky walls. I might be big, boring, blank and white, but my walls, they tell a different story. What am I talking about? Display. So yes, as you guys know, display is one of my favorite sponsors. I love them so much. So much that I actually created my own disc plates for this podcast, which they have on their site. And you know me. I do not like photo

shoots. Oh, I do not like photoshoots. So this was a true labor of love. So we have a couple different versions of the group shot of all of us from the podcast. And then we have different individual pictures. We have a disc plate of just Chris. We have a display of Jared, Riley and me. But Displate also has tons of other designs, not just nice. So if you don't already know, this plate is the one of a kind metal poster designed to capture your unique passions. So they are metal and magnetic. So basically, instead of having to put holes in your walls or use like duct tape, All you have to do is you wipe the wall with a wipe, you put on the little magnet, and then you snap on the display. And you can put it anywhere, you can rearrange them, organize them,

however you want. They have over a million different designs, so they have something for everyone. World of Warcraft, Star Wars, Marvel, games, movies, pretty much everything you can think of, they have it. So if you just want to go to the site and search, like, a movie you love, or a celebrity you like, I'm pretty sure you'll find a display of it. Also, they ship worldwide, and it's very fast. It comes within, like, four to five days. And for every design sold, they're planting one tree. So just imagine. You get a display of a display of it. of the podcast you plant a tree i mean damn you did a lot today so if you want to check out display for yourself i'll put the link into the description below they are giving you guys a discount

so if you use code grower at checkout you'll get 22% off of one to two displates and if you get three or more displates you'll get 33% off so that's code grower at checkout to get 22% off for one to two or 33% off for over three so thank you so much to display and i hope you guys enjoy the rest of the video bye Those are so bad. Do you need to cleanse it with a Dr. Pepper peep? Who ate one of these? Yeah, boy.

How was it? I loved it. Oh, wow. It just tastes like cherry. Ew, it stinks. It smells like Dr. Pepper. Should I not? Yeah, please.

Should I peep you? Please. Peep it, homie. Oh, shit. I wasn't peeping. Dude, never look away when a man's giving you peeps. Um, it's better. Oh, my God.

The pickle one. It tasted good when I ate it, but I didn't have pickle in my mouth. Right. It's a weird mix. I like pickle a lot and it's just, it doesn't, it's not good. It's really bad. I'm not going to lie I saw you guys were exaggerating.

No, it's really bad. Okay, welcome back to vagina. Viewers are great. I need another. So this first email is from McKenzie and she said, hey guys, my name's McKenzie and I bought my first car wearing your merch. Look at her outside of Honda with the grower merch. Nice. I love being a part of like people's life moments.

I like her card, too. It's so cute. Okay, that is so cute. Oh, this is from Maddie. So Maddie said, uh... I know Maddie. I know Maddie. Okay.

Oh, yeah. So Maddie met Jared and Sandy in the real world. Now, she can't say where she works. Looks like... Who knows? It actually wasn't, Rylan. It actually wasn't. I know it looks like...

But it is. It wasn't. So it's not confirmed. But this is the picture that she did. took with Jared and Sandy out in the wild and she blacked out her vest because she didn't want to get fired. Oh, am I going to get fired?

It wasn't. It wasn't. It was one of those others. And if you get fired, if you get fired because of this Ryland's going to send you $100,000. Yay. That is so cute. I love that. You guys were just in search of some pot wheels.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. And you guys are in the grower and farmer. How do people keep finding you guys like that? Because we wear it all the time. We wear it all the time. I work to Disney and saying he's like, that's so inappropriate. It's like, only if you know.

You know what's funny? You guys going to in your farmer and grow merch is like Disney vloggers. When they go to Disneyland, like they're so famous and everybody knows because they're Disney vloggers. It's like your guys is Disneyland. Do you think it looks like that? Like we're trying to be seen like, all right, get the farmer shirt on. I'm going to get the grower.

The grower sweater on. Just hang out at Hot Wheels. Yeah. Shane, didn't you just say the name of the location like three times? No. No, I think he was referring to the last picture we got. Oh, yeah, yeah. It just shares the same strip mall.

Yes. Yes. Oh, my God. Okay. And then I got an interesting email from Katie. She said, hey, y'all. I love y'all. So I was at work, and I noticed that they stocked up on the bath and body work hand soap,

which you guys talked about on the show before. So I decided to try to use it on my very oily face. And guess what? It dried out all my acne. Yes. Wow. I'm not a dermatologist, but I'd say. I'd recommend you to anybody to try if they have acne.

So, uh, I guess because the soap is so intensely drying? Well, if you have oily skin, I guess, tries it out. But that still feels like it could lead to some sort of burn or problems. So maybe be careful. Well, don't they have to list the ingredients on hand soap? Because it sounds like it has like a witch hazel or an isopropopal or something like that in it. Not to get all sciencey. But I had acne and I remember Uncle Gene would tell me to put witch hazel on my face and it would work.

Really? And ISO is just a form of alcohol that would dry you out real bad. It's what's in a hand sanitizer. Smart bear. Okay, should we do a voicemail? Always. Okay. Hey, Shane. I love the podcast. I'm looking for some advice. I'm in a little bit of a pickle. I met this guy at a bar, and I started talking up with him. I'm 24, and I found out that he was 49. I kept hooking up with him, and then I found out one time that he was. He's actually my uncle.

Technically not blood-related, like, just through marriage. But he remembers me as a child, and I used to go to his birthday parties. He didn't recognize me, though. Like, it was a shock to him. So I continued to hook up with him. And now it's been four months, and I've got feelings for him. So I'm just wondering what do I do, and if you have any advice for me. And it.

And it. It's weird. The thing is, I'm getting a nasty vibe. How do you not know what's your uncle? That's what I was more curious about. Is there like a mystery uncle? So he's obviously not still married. Well, she wasn't looking at him like he was looking at her.

Don't you know what your uncles look like? It's probably by marriage. Well, that's, yeah, that's what she said. That's why I was said, oh, because at least it's not like blood related. It's still kind of weird. What? Or he's like, well, I'm just trying to think about it. It would be like, you know, our aunt's husband.

Yeah. You know? Our aunt's husband. Or it would be like one of our uncles. Like related by marriage. No, that would be like Sandy hooking up with one of our kids. But that's why you can fuck your cousins. Well, what?

In Utah. I never have. But isn't that? It's a law, I think, in Utah. Maybe we've talked about it. But if you're over 65, you can fuck your cousin. You're over 65. Yeah.

They're like, fuck it. Do whatever you want. Why is it over 65? They're like, good for you. You know what you're doing at that point. Your dick gets hard still. Fuck your cousin. Oh, my God.

Ew. Anyways, well, like Brady Bunch. Like, remember the episode where Greg and Marcia, they wanted to fuck? Because they're not related. Yes, that's the best way to think of this right now, because that's exactly what it would be like. Okay. It's weird. It's weird to me.

And I feel like in general, break it off. It's just weird because there's no way he's not aware of you, even if you weren't aware of him. And how do you bring him home to your family? Yeah. The long term, how does that look? What does that look like? That's love is blind shit. Okay, let me rephrase.

Take him home to your family before you break it off, wearing the merch and take a photo for us. Maybe video something. I would love to see that. You film it. I definitely agree with Jared. Please break it off. Please stop hooking up with your uncle.

I just want to say I'm not judging her for doing it. No. Because it's not related. Not seeing we are, but, but. I'm judging him. Yes. I think long term, it's just, it's not going to go. We're going to want it to go.

It's not, yeah. Yeah. Well, thank you for calling in because that was, that was a lot. Woke me up. Yeah. You went there. You really did. And you need to stop going there.

At this point immediately. Find another older gentleman. Okay, let's do one more. Hey, couch crew, huge, huge fan. My name is Amanda. Hi, Shane and Riland. I've been watching you forever. You guys are my comfort videos, so I love you and thank you.

So my question is for everyone and your relationships. This is about kind of being a couple and showering and like what your daily shower routines are. My parents have been together for 40 years and their thing is like they always shower together. They never shower separately. And like personally I think it's kind of weird because I, when I shower, showering is like my time to be myself and take my time and do whatever I. I need to do in there. So I just think it's kind of funny and it's kind of cute.

So I'm wondering what yours, what your shower routines are like, L.O.L. Anyways, thank you guys so much. Love you. Bye. First of all, that's so cute. I love that. Maybe they started that. I don't know how old they are, but maybe like when they were younger, it was like

a saving water thing. I was thinking Great Depression era maybe. They're not that old. But their parents probably were. Maybe. Or maybe they do it to keep like the, you know. The spice. The spice in the relationship.

I feel like it's not practical day to day, though. I'm like trying to get ready for work. It feels like showering together is going to lead to something. Listen, I'm not trying to start a fight. But you do not ever let me get in the shower. Oh, ever. No, we have. It's just not my prefer.

Then you're wet. You're like, I just, I'm not. It's a shower. We're talking about. Like, I'm saying, sexually, I don't love a shower. I don't want to do it for sex, though. I just think it's like fun. No, I don't like that.

lonely in the shower. I, I will say, like, cleaning your ass, I don't know if I've ever seen you clean your ass. What? Just feel like seeing your significant other clean their ass, how do you clean your ass? At Shane Company, we know getting engaged is an exciting time. We also know that finding the perfect engagement ring can be overwhelming. As experts in forever love since 1929, we're here to help you get it right.

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I mean, I do get soap on my hand and lathering and whatnot. I don't put my butt hole with soap. My butt doctor told me not to. What do you clean it with? You don't remember when I got itchy ass? The doctor said it was from. being too clean. He said it was okay.

Not with soap. He said, like, don't take soap to your like asshole. What do you clean your asshole? What? Well, I feel like it probably, like I scrub my back with a lufa and then it probably goes down but then I rinse out my asshole with water. Probably. That is Jared Codes. Okay, how about this? I use a bidet every time I shit

and then I rinse my ass in the shower. If I have a a portable handheld shower top. Okay. I will put it on the Jets because what I do is I like to blast the shit out of my teeth. So I go like this, I go, dirt, and then I'll do a quick pass on my butt.

Right now we don't have one of those. Definitely do butt second. Oh yeah, yeah. It's always mouth to butt. It's never butt to mouth. I thank God. Yeah, I don't know what particles are flying around my butt when I do that. But I think maybe we've taken one shower to together, but it's really, I don't know.

Well, I think it's, like, sexy time. It's okay, but, like, actual shower, like, no. Like, I want to get into, you know, I agree with her. It's kind of my alone time. And then, too, we have somewhat, like, different schedules. So it's just. And then it would turn into something different than the shower. It's like, if we're going to have sex, let's have sex.

I don't, you know. Which I don't mind, like, sexy time in the shower and then, like, move on to the bedroom. But I don't want to have sex in the shower. I don't like sexy time after shower because everybody feels like a pig. Oh, do you know what I mean? Sticky pig skin? And then you're like fucking and it's like I hate it.

I hate it. If I'm going to do water activity, I'd rather somewhere else. Right, right. Okay. I love a shower with your man? Yeah, we both shower separately and together. And yeah, I don't know.

I don't think there's anything weird about it. I think it's kind of romantic and fun and sometimes sexy. But sometimes it isn't sexy? Well, when I'm alone, no. But when you're showering together, do you guys ever just pretty much always? Do you shower together to get ready without something happening? Yeah, if it's like if it works out if it if it makes sense timewise we will but like

you're going to dinner and it's like both if you need to shower you're both sometimes yeah it's like a bit of both it just depends spur of the moment we don't have it planned or anything but I don't know it's fun we have fun wow well that was very enlightening and I think it's amazing that your parents do that Amanda I think it's very sweet yeah for me and we both clean our butts, both of us. Good for you. I hope you're going to be each other's or?

Sometimes. All right, let's get to some conspiracies. Okay, this first one, I got so many emails about this. Now, I wish I would have known about this before because I would have tested it out. Have you guys heard the new Stanley Cup conspiracy? Not only did they pretend like it was fireproof, but the new viral phenomenon is, did you know that a Stanley Cup is bulletproof? Okay. First off.

I can't even fall asleep with ice in that fucking cup and wake up to ice. I don't know how the hell is supposed to be fireproof. And you know what cup I can? Fucking Emma Chamberlens. There doesn't have to be a lid on it. Shut out. It just is sitting there. No lid.

Ice in the morning. That's scary. So there's a viral news story, which I don't think this woman's lying. But this story went viral. And she said a Stanley Cup saved her life when a stray bullet came through her house. Oh, God. It ricocheted off her cup. Their marketing genius is for sure.

I think that's about what we can say at this point. Did it go through the wall first, too? I have no idea. But then it went viral. Now everybody's trying to be like, oh my God, if you just have a Stanley Cup around, you can get saved from a drive-by, you can get saved from an intruder.

This doesn't seem like a good trend, though, because everyone was lighting the cups on fire. Now everyone's going to be shooting bullets around. It's like, I don't know. I know if I want TikTok shooting bullets around. Yeah. So let us know, guys, have you ever gotten shot? Didn't save your life?

Send us an email. Maybe all that lead protects from the bullet. Oh. Wow. Because they have lead in there. Only on the bottom, not inside. Oh, side note. Before we get to the next theory,

speaking of companies doing crazy things for marketing and virality, Spencer was telling me about the popcorn bucket from Dune. Yeah. Have you guys seen the Dune popcorn buckets? You'd have to start by telling me what Dune is. You're kidding. No. The desert, the horrible desert-looking movie?

Not a horrible. Somebody did an edit where it's Wendy Williams, like as the characters, and it's called How You Do. That's amazing. It's so good. I have seen the book. I'm sure it's beautiful, I just want to say. I'm not trying to jig it.

I just, watching that trailer makes me hate it. I thought you're talking about the bucket. I was like, it's not that beautiful. So the bucket looks like, yeah, it looks like a fleshlight. Does it look that much like a fleshlight? I mean, I'm not about a. fleshlight, but it looks... It's the perfect size to put your dick in, and there's all these little silicone stringies

that if you lube them up, it'll be like, if I had one, I'd fuck it. 100%. You can get one on Etsy for $120. I will say. Why did they make... I think we should just eat popcorn out of fleshlights is what this is telling me. I think they made it to go viral to be like, look, let's make it look like a fleshlight, and let's get everybody talking about it, and it fucking worked.

Yeah, they're sold out every... I tried to get one, like, for the show. out everywhere for the show I try to get one I look at you have this picture this guy he said I'm just here to fuck the popcorn bucket can you not go to the movie theater and get one no they sold out what they're like every movie theater they're sold out this guy used it instead of a cone for his cat do you think it was on purpose yes I think they they wanted people to say it looks like a big old fleshlight because it was so successful I guarantee there's going to be another like movie that has some sort of like suggestive bucket

Put out the bucket, and you can fuck it. This I got a bunch of emails about two. This is crazy. I have watched this like 50 times. I can't explain it, and it's so confusing. I don't think it's fake because I don't understand what it is. Let me just show you. It is February 28th, 29th, 28th, I have got me a better quality camera to catch this thing in the sky.

And holy moly, I am scared. I'm scared, but I'm not going to trip because I've been catching this thing. for a while now it's very ominous there it is what the fuck is that what the fuck is that it is a huge face looking like down on us what the fuck let's see if i can zoom in a little bit brighter there it's like as big as the moon literally what the fuck is going on man needs to get a biographer for sure i have a theory what the fuck is What the fuck is that? What the fuck is that?

It looks like an old man. What the fuck is. So, okay, what the fuck is that? Anybody? My only guess is it's cloud that just happened to look exactly like a creepy guy looking down at you next to the moon. I was thinking, you know how that phone did that thing? Where if you zoom up to the moon, they like projected a false image.

What? It's very creepy. It's that technology glitching. I mean, after all the project, sorry, our cat is in a bucket of chicken right now. Louie, it's full body in the bucket. He's like, where's my dune bucket? Oh, he's leaving. He's leaving. So, I don't know.

All the Project Bluebeam stuff is freaking me out. Now that we did that video, I'm getting so many things on my, like, recommended reels and stuff. And it's all, like, holograms and crazy shit in the sky. Like, what the fuck is going? So you think this is trying to throw us off the scent? We're looking at it, calling this guy a goofball. It's real, though. And now we're going to be more unsuspecting?

I don't know. I mean, to me, it looks like. It looks like the people that. control everything or testing out the hologram. They're like, let's do it at night. Let's do it at night so nobody sees it. I'm not too much believing his voice and his tonality in this video. I think he'd be a little bit more terrified, but that's what they want us to think, maybe.

I think this guy works for the CIA. Whoa. Well, speaking of weird CIA crazy shit, I don't even know how to get into this next one. This is crazy. I'm just going to play it. Okay, listen, so I'm making this Valvita fucking skillet dinner right now. And I open the box, and this is in it. And it has some very KKK's cross.

Fucking. This was in my box of Valdita. The Hindu swastika. What is happening? Gun. Surveillance. Nazis. So what the fuck?

What the fuck? Did Velveeta put out a statement about it? I'm so confused. What's on our fingers? Yeah. What the hell is that? That's what I was that? I'm looking at.

Yeah, what the fuck is on a figure? What the fuck is that? It's just like a nail treatment. So, yeah, what the fuck is going on? What is that? How did that get in the box? Is somebody at the Velvita factory say like, I'm going to speak of this yet?

Or is Velvita trying to tell us something? Well, I, okay, if, let's just say I wanted to do this. Obviously, you could. Listen, we have to put ourselves in the mindset of a weirdo. You can see by how. it's folded very strategically to be able to fit like if this is the top of the box they could slide it in the side that isn't sealed very easily so it's folded up so i mean it wasn't in the box and then the box was sealed i think people are just going into stores and putting these

in boxes but however are these people trying to tell us something and to be the person one of the few that receives it still feels like that bad energy that's huge i can't wait to open up a box and see something like that i'd rather get that my food than a pub or a hair I'd rather get a manifesto from the Illuminati. I'd rather get a note that says you're going to die tonight than get a hair in my food. Straight up. So true. Yeah.

Okay. This next theory I'm very excited about because we are entering our daddy era. We're already in it. But every daddy right now and mommy on Instagram is talking about Bluey. Have you heard about Bluey? No. Bluey is a cartoon that every parent now is watching with their kids. And then the kids go to sleep and the parents like keep watching it.

It's like a meme right now. It's like my kid goes to sleep and I'm still watching Bluey. So the animators of Bluey supposedly, this might be fake, but supposedly got fired because they planted something specifically for us in the show. I guess if you watch Bluey in the parents' bedroom, their dogs, in their bedroom, there is a cuck chair. And everybody online is talking about how Bluey is trying to talk about cuckery on their show. Wow. I mean, it does look like a cuck chair. It's not necessary either

It actually doesn't make enhance the room It also is blocking a door So that's kind of confusing So why is it there? It could also just be like to fill the frame I'm curious if they ever film the dogs on it Is there a cuck scene is what we're asking I don't know I haven't researched enough

Wow so thank you guys for emailing me that I got a lot of is Bluey a cuck emails And I was very scared to open them It is crazy how it's just so bright gold Like that's the focal point It's a cuck chair Is it possible? It doesn't match anything else in the room.

All right, real quick. I actually saw something recently, and I just remembered it right now. It's just fun. Oh, my God, I saw this too. So this is the Chicago's Bull logo. Do me a favor. Flip it upside down. Okay.

What do you see? It looks like a robot butt fucking a crab. What? Doesn't it? Like exactly. Or it looks like the DJ marshmallow butt fucking a crab. From underneath, right? Like, I don't know.

He's getting, the crab's getting fucked by a robot, guys. That's the best reveal I've heard. Right? Now that is scary. It's scary. I saw this before, and it really does look like that. Oh, my God. Yeah.

Okay. Okay, so our final theory is one of the scariest ever. I have not heard this whole thing. I only heard the beginning of it, but strap it because this is about to get very, very spooky. I actually, I had an idea for this, but I don't know if this is going to work. Will it get dark enough for this? I can see it. Well, okay, so because of the slumber party, I thought it would be fun if we all had flashlights and if we told scary stories. And I was like, oh, Jared could tell his scary theory, but is that going to get annoying. Oh, it hurt. This is pretty strong for little flashlights. It's like also just so hot. Okay, let me

Yeah, never mind, never We don't need it We don't need the fly's light I mean I'm fucking wet Like I feel like I'm cutting wait for a boxing hat You're like dripping You look like us in the Super Bowl Okay

So the overall theory That we're going to be talking about Is the dark forest right So the dark forest is essentially The idea That there are aliens out there But everybody's afraid of each other So just like maybe

If you live next door to murderers you would always try to hide. Okay. There are aliens out there, but we're all playing and safe, so we're all just trying to stay hidden from each other because of the hidden threat. So we're all in this forest, hiding behind trees, trying to not get seen by each other.

Wait, the aliens. The aliens are hiding from each other. Yes, the aliens don't want to be noticed by each other because inevitably the second that we see somebody else, we're going to want to take over their resources and obviously kill them. We are projecting onto aliens what we already know we do to each other right just like in order to take over a land you got to slaughter the people everyone's fighting for these resources so there was a book written i believe it was in the 90s

and it talks about how there's nine steps in order for a civilization to go into space and develop civilizations on other planets the last one basically being create hospitable environments on another planet and get there and the eighth is to be able to go into space so right now our civilization is in the eighth step of this but the reason why it's believed that nobody has seen life from other planets is because of the great filter there's something in the universe that will not allow anybody to get beyond a certain point so it's like the end of like in a video

game the end of the simulation kind of like you can't escape that yes it's like the barrier it's like the Truman Show wall and we don't know how far other planets have gotten but we're officially like right there on the brink of it so if the great filter is the last step we're about to get slaughtered but if the great filter is you know like after step three that means that we can potentially be the first ones ever to experience life i'm just thinking how cool if that's the scenario and our kids kids are just planet hopping like we go to different like an it's like an uber the other is that there is

obviously aliens on this planet they've already taken over and they've already manipulated everybody And we just, because we look at aliens like these big things with heads that, you know, they're all goofy and shit like that. But what if aliens have become so advanced that they're able to shape shift and all this stuff and they look like dogs or they look like cats and they're able to gather information in that sense. You know what I mean? So just because we haven't seen what we- My God, the fucking dogs and cats just started going crazy. See? Ew.

Just because. Oh, my God, ew. But, so yeah, I mean, maybe it isn't as crazy as I put out there to be. fucking aliens? That's what some people believe. Some people believe that cats are from another... Cats and octopuses are always theorized to be from, like, other planets or aliens infiltrating us. We've talked about this before, I think, but cats are the only pet that are self-aware.

They know the cats. And they'll eat you after you die. A dog will starve to death if you die and it will never touch you. A cat will fucking eat you. They've walked in on scenes of people being just devoured by cats. But they've never walked in on a scene where... people are getting devoured by dogs, you know? It's interesting because this goes with your other theory of,

you know how you said, movies prepare you for things to come, like an alien invasion. Well, like Captain Marvel and a couple Marvel movies recently have cats being an alien and mouth comes open, like swallow someone cold. So it goes with that theory as well. Oh, my God. Yeah. Ew. But I guess at the end of

the day, it's just an interesting notion to think that if there's life on 0.000, 1% of other planets, there's still millions of civilizations out there. So there's no way we're alone. is just why haven't we seen any of them yet? Absolutely, there is life elsewhere, and almost certainly intelligent life.

It has to be. The odds are just overwhelming. There are stars, which are billions of years older than our sun. Some of them very likely have planets, and therefore I can imagine civilizations immensely beyond the capabilities of our own. So you're saying that there could be another, you know, Earth planet on, like, step seven. Yes. So we could either be the furthest that it's ever gotten,

or we're, you know, other people have figured out how to circumvent the great filter, but I don't believe that to be the case. You know, I think that we're actually the furthest along. You know what's crazy? I'm taking you even more seriously in the bear suit. You should. It's giving you a level of authority? Wow.

Do I shit in the woods? But yeah, so the dark forest, though, it's just a creepy idea that, like, when you look into the night sky, there's definitely aliens there, but they're fucking hiding, you know? They're behind the tree. They're like, we don't want to be seen because he's, people put fucking bombs in the air and they might kill us. So they're scared of us. Aw. Well, speaking of

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to give you the insights you need to understand your options, so you can take charge of your financial path and find your way of money. Intuit credit karma. Karma you can count on. Download the app today. Life forms that are great at acting. Let's get to a recap. Life camera action. Ryland's recap is about to happen. Rylans recap. Today's episode of the Shane Dawson podcast, I may have gone too far and got my husband very upset with I'm not the bad guy.

Is this going to be a problem after the podcast? What is that supposed to mean? I feel guilty for going so hard because you are a good man. You should. Someone's out there dating their uncle. Just when you thought your life was bad. You could be dating your uncle without knowing it. Wait until you surprise your family with that man.

That was offensive to everybody. Um, we're about to discover aliens and die maybe? What's happening? Aliens definitely exist. That's the whole point of it. They definitely exist. They're cats. They could be cats.

Stanley Cup is bulletproof. Yeah, we're fucking right. Same in your videos. Allegedly, Stanley Cup is not only fireproof, but it is now bulletproof as well. Oh, the Dune, the Dune popcorn bucket. Oh, actually. The Fuck It Bucket Bucket. How you doing?

Oh my God. I forgot to do the love is blind. Mine conspiracy really quick, really quick, because I need it for the fun. Have you ever seen Love is Blind? Oh, yeah. Okay, you know how they have gold cups? In every season, in every scenario, whether they're at a restaurant or they're in the bubble or whatever, they all are using gold cups.

It's really weird. Honestly, drives me crazy because even in the apartments they put them in, these motherfuckers are drinking out of these gold cups. Is it because they have mics in them? Ooh, good guess. No, it's very, it's very random and it's, for some reason it kind of creeps me out. So the reason they all have these gold cups is because you can't see. see through them so that it doesn't mess

up continuity. So if you're like having a conversation with your, you know, future spouse or whatever, and you're drinking wine and stuff, they want to be able to cut the conversation however they want. Make the storyline whatever they want and you'll never know because the cups. Now it's really crazy because if you're watching, you're like

this conversation escalated very fast or this doesn't make any sense, but you can't tell the timeline because of the cups. But there was an episode. I forgot what season it was, but one guy was eating chicken wings and he had the gold cup, but they were still showing his chicken wings and he was talking to this woman and every time it would cut back to him, another chicken would be gone or a chicken would appear or the wing would be there or the bone would

be there. And I'm like, ah, they didn't think that one through. I caught him. Wow. That is so crazy because it's such a good show that you're now thinking, is what I consumed even real? Yeah, like, are they cutting these conversations in a way to manipulate? It's kind of smart. It's kind of genius. Okay, sorry, back to the recap. In search of a new car. Purchase your first with Shane Dawson merge. Oh, guys, come on, let's get them some confidence. Let's get the man some confidence. Ryland! Ryland!

Ryland! Ryland! You definitely did not meet Jared and Sandy at your local . That was definitely a different discount store, and they weren't shopping for toy cars. Okay. It's getting a little better. Okay. Rylin.

Rylin. Rylin. Rylin. Um... Okay, that's it. Damn, you hit us with the um right after the pump up. Oh, did you guys ever know the Chicago Bulls logo? Yeah.

It's actually just something, fucking something. Yeah, we talked about it. I do know. Yeah. Bye. Right. Right. Before I have a meltdown, I gotta end this show.

I hope you all enjoyed this episode of the Shane Dawson podcast to make sure you're following us all on social media. Jared and Sandy are our new favorite Disney vloggers. Hey, whoa. We love all of our Disney vloggers. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Ordinary adventures, we, equally. We're your favorite ones that you're related to.

Yes. I didn't understand the gravity of my words, all right? Chris is also actively posting on Instagram. Spencer is actively seeking submissions. What? Did I not say that? Did I say Instagram? I don't know.

I thought I said YouTube. He's posting on YouTube. Yay. Really? Did I not say YouTube? He said Instagram. Oh, Spencer is still looking for his match. Is love really blind?

You should go on love is blind. We should recreate it. With the gold cups and everything. Oh, yeah. No hot wings, though. No hot wings. Okay. We learned our lesson.

And I hope you enjoyed the show. Make sure you tune into the Shane Dawson podcast every other week and listen on and listen to the audio. Sit down. Grandma, you can sit. You can take a break. Bye. I love you. Well, you guys go.

Hopefully you enjoyed this. Sleepover. I know. I'm ready to sleep. This nightmare of an episode. No, this is so much fun. I hope we do it again in this time. And if you guys want us to play any of these games again, like apples to apples or cards against humanity, let us know.

Or did you hate that? All right. Make sure to give this video a thumbs up, please. We need it. We'll see you guys next time. Bye. Hi, I'm Danny L'Priori. Ever get the feeling you're being watched online?

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