The Shane Dawson Podcast - Pop Culture Conspiracy Theories! TANACON, STANLEY CUPS, and HOLLOW EARTH THEORY!

Episode Date: January 31, 2024

In this episode Shane and the crew dive deep into one of the craziest theories of all time! They also discuss their obsession with Stanley cups, play a GAME OF SHAME, and throw it back to 2018 for some TANACON memories! Throw in some fights with Shane and Ryland and updates from the nursery with Vicki and you’ve got yourself a fun time on the couch!!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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slash C-O-N-T-R-O-L for your free trial. That's Aura.com slash control. So if this proves to be true, then the earth isn't flat. Oh. No, no. They actually, the government, put out the flat earth as a distractor

so we wouldn't even think about the truth of the hollow earth. Shut up. What's real? Honestly, I have no idea. All right. Hey, welcome back to whatever the hell this is. We're Daddy's edition.

Hello. Wow. This is scary. This is the first time we've done anything since we've had them. So we don't know how this is going to go. I'm a little paranoid and scared because I'm like, what's going on in there? Now, I will explain, first of all, hey guys. Hey.

I feel bad I didn't even introduce the crew. No, dude. My other babies. Baby tuck, please. Your brother, but, okay. Hey, he is my baby. You are. He is so good with babies, by the way.

It's crazy. I'm a baby whisperer. You are. They were crying, and then we put one in your arms. Done. No way. I also, I thought I helped him poop, but I guess I don't do that. What do you mean?

I thought it was like a poop whisperer. Oh, what I mean? Only for yourself. Only for myself. Only for myself. Yeah, so here's the situation right now. So, first of all, we're not going to pretend like we're doing everything by ourselves. We do have an amazing nurse who comes a few times a week and helps us with the babies who have taught us so much.

We're so grateful. But we also have another nanny on board this week who is going to come to us live from the nursery. Hello. Nurse Vicki reporting for duty. How's it going in there? We are in full baby mode. We go through the process of feeding, burping, and then sleeping and pooping and repeat, repeat, repeat. Nice.

Sounds like a process that we do a lot. Yeah. But very humanly. Okay. Is there any big updates in the nursery? Is there any drama? Is there any gossip? Any hot news?

What's going on? You know, the gossip, let's see. Max was happy doing tummy time and he did a lot of activity and a lot of building his muscles. and then jet he wasn't into it oh he's shown off those muscles though he's small but mighty yeah that's true we witnessed that the other day in front of the pediatrician you're right so he showed off at the doctor's appointment and max just like his daddy lots of tummy time well too much time and how's the poop going because this is big the big thing is and if you guys are parents at home you know this oh my god we're parents that's crazy uh when there's a poop you get very excited because when they're not poop and there's a

problem. Has there been any poops? Today, one of them is pooping a lot and the other is not. And so we do have a little bit of a problem there, but you know, we're working on it. And Jett is our pooper. He poops almost every change or every feeder. Max. Sometimes he goes three days. And then we're having to do the poop maneuvers. He's going red because he's trying to poop. And then me, my mom, my shit, or my shame. The shame, and the nurse that we have helping with us, we're all. like maneuvering him trying to get him to poop and then once we get it out we're like yes it's in a group text message we're showing each other how big we're celebrating i cried and these are the big ways of our day when max finally pooped after three days and he was so like in pain and it all came out

and then he was so happy and i started crying wow i just want you to know though that we all try to take credit for the poop like we helped him the most i i helped him through that and then it's devastating if the person who's been tending to helping him poop all day isn't there when it happens because it's so it's satisfying to know that happened to me yesterday yep and it takes three of us to manage these twins at the moment and we have learned a lot my mom's been in training too we've all learned so much from the nurse who helps us and it's been it's been interesting to learn everything yes i would say the biggest change is uh being tired being full of love, but also being excited

about things you'd never think you'd be excited about. I'm always excited about pooping. Oh, yeah. After three days. Like an hour of quiet, maybe get them both down. Maybe Max needed like a little bit of inspiration. You need to put himself through three days of non-poop just to break through an artistic moment.

Whoa. You know, and he knew that. Yes. It's yes. Do I hear drama in the nursery? What's happening? They're also the cutest things ever to have lived ever. I met them for the first time today and was like overwhelmed by their cute.

I know. You were so sweet when you saw them. I missed it. Thanks for telling me Chris was going in there. Sorry, Uncle Chris and me were just having a good old time. What's going on, Vicki? Well, Jett is just really just doing great, but no, Max might wake back up. So there's not a lot going on. If he was still awake, like he was about 10 minutes ago, I would show you how he tracks. We could prove the pediatrician wrong on the glasses.

Is he working on his math? His multiplication tables? Oh, I hope so. I think that's next week. Me and Vicki have already talked about that because her baby, Rhineland, is really bad at math. I'm going to learn with them. Like when we're learning, they're going to be like six times six. What is that?

Learn it together. What is it? I don't know. Ask Max. You didn't even pick one that you knew? You couldn't just have two times two. So easily voidable. All right, Vicki.

Well, we're going to check back in with you later in the show. make sure everything's going good. If there's any big drama, though, give me a call. I will. I will. If any drama happens, we're on it and we'll let you know. That's definitely the first thing you think about when you have a screaming, crying baby. It's like, let me turn on this camera and call the podcast in the other room.

Okay, well, we'll call back in, Vicki, but keep us post on. All right. We'll carry on. Thank you. Okay. Bye. All right. Bye.

Wow, we've kids. Crazy. We went out to dinner for the first, like, our first outing was like pretty much a month in once we've already. had kids. I will say it's interesting, and we'll get off the kids topic in a second, but it literally is our life now and all we talk about. But what I will say is it's interesting, like, knowing that our kids are in the other room, as much as I love doing this podcast, it's also like, oh, I need to do this podcast to make money for our kids. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. It puts things in a different

perspective, because before it was like, I need to make money to buy Ryland gifts. Oh, yeah. And now it's like, we have mouths to feed. Yeah. And that is a lot more pressure, quite honestly. Okay, so sorry, we'll stop talking about us. Guys, what's going on? What's life? How's the New Year? What's a tea? No, you were last.

You have to talk first. Stanley rolls. We have to explain. Okay, so I have my Stanley, right? Thank you, Ryland, by the way, best Christmas present ever. And I'm sipping, sipping. Jared walks in with his Stanley, and I'm shook. And I'm like, is that a Stanley?

Don't trip. I'm going to sip. And then, so Jared's telling me the story of his Stanley, where he got it. Yeah, the clone guy, shit out, got me this stand. Stanley, it actually has my name on it. You know what I'm saying? In gray. And it matches what I'm wearing exactly.

It has a mint green top. And then it's gray. Yes. That jacket. I feel like Guy Fietti on like an Easter edition or something. Or the manager of a TikTok house. I think you should take Sandy on a date in that jacket. Oh, she loved that.

I always embarrass her no matter what, but I think if we could just get it out of the way immediately with what I'm wearing, that'd be perfect. Jared and Sandy showed up on Christmas Eve wearing. What was on your heads? Oh, like reindeer antlers? Yeah, I love a couple that can have fun. Jared walked in with these big antlers on, and then he goes, you saw it? Yeah, and then he goes, all right, and then he took him off. Yeah.

I'm not going to say she made me wear them, but if I didn't, it would have been bad. You know what I mean? And now, Chris, so you were like, I've never had a Stanley. I've never drank out of one. I was like, oh, you're drinking out of mine today. So what is your first Stanley experience like? Be honest. It's a lot heavier than I thought would be.

Really heavy, really bulky. I feel like I'm, like, working out a little bit. with it because I'm a weak man. Stanley's my cardio. Oh, yeah. But it's great. It's like, I kind of want one now. Right.

I know this is silly, but you guys always have the like Starbucks cups and they're amazing and I love them. But you can't wash those in the dishwasher and that's like a deal breaker for me. And this you can. You can. So now I need one. Wait, they're dishwasher safe. You can throw them in the dishwasher. Yes.

Okay, not the bedazzled one, but the others. Not the bedazzled. Never bedazzled. No, no, no. That's good to know, though, because I've been hand washing your Stanley. So now I'm on board. with them. Wow. Because, yes. Cheap trick, actually, is I found out that you don't even need to wash them. Just a rinse of water will get the other flavor out. So as long as you constantly

keep liquids in here, what does it need to wash it? Yeah. By the way, Ryland's in a new chair. He's in a baby rocker. Hey, girls. I bought two of these. It was the biggest mistake of my life. They are not comfortable and they're ugly. And they were expensive. It looks comfy. No, it is comfortable. I will give it's comfortable and I was my back and my body hurt from that bean bag after we recorded because it's comfortable if you're watching TV but if you're recording a podcast it's not right anyway and there's all of these reels going around to instagram of like girls holding their stanley's like and it's like men dragging these huge trash cans that is funny but no i was talking about the video of the little girl who got a stanley on christmas oh my god and then she cries

because she's so excited and then the uncle in the background's like what's that it's like a stanley goes huh and then i started thinking i didn't know stanley's really are and this is not sponsored by stanley although can you imagine please it's like a weird what's it called like when somebody um yes oops i mean no no not at all no it's like when uh status status symbol oh with these girls if you don't have a stanley after holiday break when you go back to school you get made fun of it's like a thing so little girls are horrible little girls have murdered for that. I'm a grown man and this is so heavy. For the Barbie Club, little girls would have murdered.

This is the size of a little girl. How do they carry this around? Dude, Stanley is raising a nation of strong women. And gay men. Sometimes. I'm not gay sometimes. Right. So what else?

What's like a life update, Chrissy? What's going on? It's been like a month and a half. What's up? Literally all I've done is work. And all I can think about right now is your adorable children. Because it's weird how like the moment I saw, them, I was like, wow, I'd die for them.

Like, the second I was in the room. Thank you. Because I'm looking to kill. It's just weird how, like, you know, see pictures of them and everything. Like, we've talked about it so much that, like, I didn't expect it to impact me like it did, and I love them. Is that crazy? Like, from one, it's all I can think about. That's all I care about.

New Year's was fine. Christmas is fine. Your kids are all I care about it. Yeah, no, it is interesting. Like, I knew, though, we would feel that way because that's how I am with the animals. Like, the second I even saw Riley. well that's what I was scared of because okay so we got Riley right I instantly the second I saw her online I instantly was in love even though she was shitting and screaming and farting and doing all this shit that was so annoying

I loved her so much and then one night you walked in holding her put her in her cage and said we're returning her and I was like you know this is going to be even harder when it's babies and they're going to be even crazier and we can't return babies and you were just like so then I got scared because I'm like the second you meet our babies you're going to love them more than anything you've ever loved whole life. It's going to be instant. And you were just like, are you sure? Well, listen, I have nothing to compare it to other than dogs. And with all three of our dogs, yes, I really liked them immediately, but it is a bond that grows over time. You grow in love with each other, kind of like a relationship I had with you. Like, I didn't just love you unconditionally the first time I ever saw you. It was,

we had a great time, but it wasn't love. You have to grow into this love. And with dogs, it's like through this training hurdle. And it is different. with dogs. I'm not saying it's easier with dogs, but I'm saying it's different because they are immediately running, shitting, pissing. But with our kids, it luckily and thankfully was a different story. Like, you see them and it's like the greatest love story you've ever, you can ever imagine, you know? Well, speaking of our little gifts from God. Chris, you said that you brought us gifts because we haven't seen each other since Christmas. So you said you brought us a little Yeah, so I wanted to have these in time for Christmas, but I messed that up.

But I got you all. Christmas, a little. Whoa. Got you all a little gift. So there's one for each one of you. Hold on. I wrote somewhere. This one is for shaming.

Wow, your wrapping's really good. Is it? Yeah. Did you do this? Yes. You did. Did you have papyrus do this? Chris, I'm normally terrible and I tried.

Oh my gosh. And different wrapping paper for everyone? It's like serial killer perfect. Is it really? I have two. Oh, is one for Sandy? Yes. Okay.

Oh, I see. I was feeling too special over here. I think they're cool. They're nothing crazy, but I just think they're cute. I got excited by it, and I thought it might be something fun for the podcast. I don't know. We'll see. Maybe this is a flop.

I'm sorry for it. Literally everyone giving anyone a gift ever. Yeah. Merry Christmas. Oh, my gosh. We love you. Shut the fuck off. Oh.

Oh, my God. How did you do that? They're custom? How did you do this? Chris. Oh my God. Oh my God. I'm with a vlog camera. Catch me on Riley. And you have Uno in the corner. My first one. And you have Cheeto and yours. Oh my God. Custom Funkos. Pop yourself. How did you do this? So at the Funko Pop Store in Hollywood, you can't do it online. You can't do it anywhere else. But I guess they're doing like they're trying it out at the pop store in Hollywood. And I was like, oh my God. That was my first thought. Oh, my God. I have to make one. Wait, let me see. My hair is right. Everything's right.

That he's so cute. With Uno and it says Riley. Did you get one of yourselves? No, that felt weird. But the one thing I'll say is like they're limited on what you can do. And on yours, I couldn't get the hair right. And I'm frustrated by it. Really? I think the hair's perfect.

I thought he was going to be like, I couldn't get it thick enough. It's a little too bright. It's like it wasn't quite. But I think it's perfect. I tried. I want the shoes this guy's wearing. They're so cute. The white sneakers.

It's cute. The shorts? Yeah. Yours, and I couldn't get like sneakers instead of, but anyways. I try to do that. I thrive one day to be able to wear flip-flops and not be embarrassed about it. He couldn't get the six-pack right. Yeah, obviously the bulge is pretty small in these shorts, you know?

Wow. Thank you, Chris. That, like, is so good. Oh, thanks. I'm glad you're like, I'm glad it wasn't a flop. I love it. This is the cutest thing ever. Hey, sorry to interrupt the show, but I wanted to give some love to our first sponsor of the day, which is me.

Don't go. Hi, I'm Danny Lopriori. Ever get the feeling you're being watched online? It's not paranoia. It's data brokers. These companies collect your personal information, including your browsing habits, where you live,

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real-time threats and more. Start your free trial at ora.com slash control. That's A-U-R-A-com slash control for your free trial. Anywhere, please support this sponsor because it's my favorite sponsor I have. It's the only sponsor that goes to sleep with me at night.

What? Okay, whatever. I'm talking about my merch. Okay, so if you haven't seen already, I have some new merch designs. This one I'm wearing right here is the Forest Green Con. I call this merch collection, the moody pig collection, because I feel like it fits the vibe.

It's very moody. It's very like rainy weather, sweater weather. It's very, is that pig okay? Should we pet it? Oh God, the pig's not moving. Okay, what's happening? Somebody call a vet. It's that.

Then we have a very bold option, but stay with me. I know. Last time I made a very bold option that everybody thought was ugly, but some people liked it. And this is my new one. This is a blue tie-dye with a baby pink pig. I think this is cute. I love this. If you don't like this, what's wrong with you?

Probably nothing. You're probably very healthy. What's wrong with me? A lot. Anyways, new pig merch. Next piece of merch, we have the green tie-dye with the black pig, which this one's my personal favorite. I don't know.

I thought I wouldn't love this one. I mean, I picked the colors, and I wanted it to be this color, but I don't think I'm ever going to wear this. I wear this one the most. Anyways, that's this vibe. And then I have a T-shirt option, which is just black and a purple pig. So yeah, if you want to check out any of the moody pig. collection, go to Shane Dossommerch.com and check it out.

And if you get any of the merch, send me a picture, Shane Dossom podcast up at gmail.com so I can show the pictures. So there you guys go. Hopefully you like the merch. If you want to check it out, go to Shane Dossommerch.com. And yeah, I hope you like it. Okay, I'm going to go. I'll see you guys later.

Well, that really symbolized how much we love each other. This next game is going to test that. Uh-oh. Because I have a new game. called The Game of Shame. And if you're wondering if it has a theme song or not, oh, it does. The Game of Shame. I like to put extra cheese with us on my Oreos.

Shame. I actually enjoy the smell of my thoughts. Oh. I think about my teacher during sex. Shame. Tell us the truth so we can judge you. The game of shame. That was a pop.

Was that TLC? That was hot. They reunited, resurrected. That girl needs a bigger career. I don't care how famous she is. She needs to be famous. I know. That was incredible.

So here's a game of shame. So we came up, me and Spencey. Hello. Now you have a voice. Spencer! So we came up with this game. We're like, what's something fun that could possibly cause a fight or some drama? And we came up with a game of shame.

So Spencer, do you want to explain how it works? Yeah. So essentially, before this episode, I got a bunch of, about three confessions from all of you guys. But you guys don't know what you all said to me. And so the game is going to work. I'm going to read out a confession, no one's name. And then it's going to essentially work like when we played Mafia where you're going to,

everyone's trying to figure out whose confession it is. And everyone has a little whiteboard with him, I think. And so there's going to be a little debate, you know, everyone, we're going to talk it out. Then at the end of debate, I'm going to tell you guys to write down who you think it is. And I don't know if we have a full point system or I guess we'll say, Maybe if the person whose confession it is doesn't get picked, they get a point. Oh, that's good. Oh, interesting.

Okay. And then what's the prize, Shane? Well, because here's the part of the game. There's no prize. Here's the part of the game that I like the most. You get to explain. Is that if he reads off your confession, you've got to fight and pretend like that is not yours. You know what I mean?

Because you don't want to get caught. You don't want to get found out. Okay. All right. You guys ready for confession number one? Yeah. Confession number one. I would pull knives on people.

I would fight as a kid. What? Pull knives. Okay. Okay. What? I like that one. That is you.

I know it. That's you. Well, no, is it you or Jared? Because you guys would know because your siblings. It's him. It's not Jared. Jared's never pulled a knife on anyone. Are you kidding me?

He's already writing it down. No. I've already written it down and put decorations around the name. Let me see. So did we all write down who we think is? Everyone got it down on their boards? Oh, yeah. All right.

Everyone's going to turn their boards around in three, two, one. We got two, Ryland. Why is there a weiner? One Chris and one Jerry. I said Chris. Oh, my God. Chills. I just think, because I know you guys, I feel like more on the intimate level than I know Chris.

And Chris is wild. You know what I mean? Chris was circumcised when he was like 16. You know, like, and he could have been pulling knives on people. It's a fair. It's a fair guess. Oh, my God. All right.

Will the confessor please reveal themselves? Okay, what are you talking about? You pull knives on this. It was specifically on my brother, but I knew if I said my sibling, Chris doesn't have a sibling, so that would eliminate him. But my brother could get under my skin like no other,

and he liked to be competitive, and he liked to just poke, poke, poke, poke, until I'd lose my mind. Yeah. So the only way to get him to stop was go, like, run to the kitchen door and go, and pull a knife on him? And then he would run.

I would never, like, do anything with the knife, but the only thing I ever did execute on was pull a candle and throw it at the wall next to him. And it broke through the drywall. You guys didn't get under each other's skin like that. Okay, so I'm taking the children. In the middle of the night, and we're leaving. I don't know if weaponry ever got involved,

but, you know, I will say, I thought this was more like a schoolyard thing, like when you got before a fight, you would pull a knife out. Now that I know more context, I would have picked you for sure. I thought, Chris, you look like you might have scrapped back in the day. You were a punk rocker.

You probably carried a knife on you. Switching. Yeah. I did. You're right. This is specific to my brother. He like took pride in getting under my skin. It's how he entertained himself.

So you want to get under his. Chris would pull a knife out at school, but he'd be like, do you want me to help you open something? Honestly. Somebody's struggling to open their coke and with their nails. And Chris is like, shling, I got it. I've 100% done. That's so funny. Okay.

Okay. Confession number two. I used to try on my mom's bras. Shane. That is mean. Why did you say me? No, because, yes, I've seen videos. What?

What are you talking about? Not if you're trying on bras, but out of anyone here, you probably have the most videos of you dressed up like a woman on the internet. You sold me. That is such a mafia thing to do. I think it's you.

No, it's not. You would try on your mom's ball. No, I would braid Barbie's hair, but I wouldn't try in my mom's bra. I'd be like, ooh. Ryland told me. Okay, fine. Let's write down who we think it is.

All right, everyone got it down. All right. Reveal in three, two, one. It's consensus. Okay, let me explain. I don't think you need to. Okay, let me explain. So I was young, and I did have breasts.

I developed early. They were very big. And yeah, I saw a movie where a girl was trying on a bra. And then I started thinking about it, and I was like, maybe a bra would help me. Like, maybe it would, like, flatten them, whatever. So then I went into my mom's closet, and the sadly, it was too small. And they didn't fit. But I think that's because I was so wide, because I'm such a man.

Yes. You know what I mean? Yeah. All right. You guys ready? Yeah. Next confession. I once put a drumstick in my butt.

This is Shane again. That is me. That is not me. You told me. Wait, what kind of drumstick? Like a chicken drumstick? Acting like he didn't write it. Or like a photo boom drumming.

It wasn't specified, but I'm going to go for musical. Or a drumstick like an ice cream. I don't know that Chris. Like a chicken? Well, you're open sexually, but I don't know that he would write that down. Whereas Shane has told like the internet many times like, oh, I put everything in my ass. First of all, that's not true. Second of all, I'm a father now.

Watch it. Well, not then. It's good for entry level butt play. If it's not. If it's not, Shane, it's Chris. What is everybody else thinking of her? Shane or Chris, Jared? I kind of think it was Jared.

Well, I mean, are we revealing at the same time? No, no, no. I'm just asking you before I made my client. Oh, I put Chris. Really? Yeah, I put Chris. And you put Chris? Well, we haven't revealed yet.

Okay, okay. Was it you? Because you're being weird. All right, you guys want to reveal it? It was you. No, it really wasn't. All right, well, let's find it. It wasn't.

Do you think it was him? I'm gay, but I'm not, I'm not that. Chris, was it you? It was, I think Shay. Okay, let's rip. All right, ready? I think it's Chris. Two, one.

It was you! Look, I even drew it. Okay. Can you see it? I'm shocked. Okay, please explain. Were you in music class? Okay, no.

I had like an electronic drum kit that I played around with. I had drumsticks. Smaller. And yeah, you knew early, wow. Those are typically larger, actually. You know, I was experimenting and, uh, he liked it. Did they, like, vibrate or something in your hand? You thought, I want this in my butt?

No, it just seemed like a... How old were you? Non-da, I don't... High school? Oh, I think high school. Now, okay. Thank you for being so open and honest. Drum roll, please.

Doesn't it do? All right, you guys ready for the next one? Yeah. All right, next confession. I once tongue kissed my grandma. That's Shane for a video. For a video. Why else would you tongue kiss your grandma?

Or Jared for a video, because Jared was doing videos with your grandma for quite a while. 420 Granny. I think we did one video. I think it's Jared. You are very close to your grandma. Let's get Janice on the live. Okay. It's either Jared in one of his videos with his grandma or Shane made Jared do it in one of Shane's video.

Why does it have to be a video? I think it's Shane. Because why else would you be making out with your grandma unless it's comedy? You don't know someone's life. Chris, Chris, is it you? No. What do you guys think? I just don't think Rylan would for some reason, and I'm, it's Shane.

I don't know. I think it's Ryan, is it you or Shane? I think it's, I, it's not me, so I think it's Shane. Stuttering confirmed to. All ready? Three, two, one. Was it for a video? No.

So you dared me, you do you remember this? I dared to do it? You don't remember? This is like a core memory and you don't remember it. This is core trauma. Where do we live? Oh, my God. At our first house.

Oh, that's early. It was probably like five or something. We were literally in the living room watching TV and then grandma was in her like kitchen area eating cereal. And then you were just like, I dare you to go kiss grandma on the mouth. And I was just like. I think I do remember. I was like, okay. I was five.

I didn't think anything was crazy about that. I think you went after it too, right? So I run up to grandma and I'm like, Grandma and I, like, tug on her and she turns on, she's like, what? And then I just kissed her on the mouth. And I think, yeah, I think I did do like a, oh, and she just screamed. And she was like, what the black were? And then Jared is dying laughing.

And then I pee my pants because I'm just like, what the fuck? It's fun. This is all such a cloudy memory, and it's been retold to me so many times by you. So that's why I'm surprised you don't remember. I don't know why in this moment, but I can remember you like doing it now. Yeah. So, yeah, that was, that happened. Rest in peace, grandma.

All right, Pete. the realist. Yeah. All right. Next confession. I never wash my hands after peeing in a store restaurant. I'm a very sanitary person. I never washed my hands after peeing in a...

In a store restroom. I mean, that's me, but I didn't write it down. You don't wash your hands. If I have to start. If I poop. I mean, I've always watched my hands after I go to bathroom, but lately I've been like, because you really have to stay sanitized. With kids, yeah.

So, yeah. So, yeah. Kids will change your life. You'll start watching. You're washing your hands after you poop. But I am big on sanitizer. Just so everyone else. Okay.

All right. Three, two, one. It's me. I don't wash my hands in the back, Derek. It's gross. I don't want to touch that shit. Wait, so what do you meet? So you go to the bathroom at Target and you don't wash your hands?

I mean, I'm not peeing on myself, you know? Like, I wear elastic shorts. I got a situation for the most part. I don't, you know, pee on my hands. And if needed, I just use hand sanitizer. But I feel like touching where everyone, like 50 people. People have pooped in there that day and they're all touching the faucets. I agree.

They're all touching the shit and it's like, nah. Even at fancy restaurants, people, like, everywhere the bathrooms are crazy. Like, we were at a nice restaurant, not that long ago. I went to the bathroom and where the flusher was, there was just like a finger of shit wiped next to it. Oh, what? And I was like, but rich people are gross. Yeah, that's true. Eugh.

Anyways. Um, okay. All right. You guys got me. Has anybody what? Yeah, so far the score is zero all. All right, next confession When I was nine years old

I started sneaking out of the house And getting drunk with my friends Oh, right Nine? Yeah, nine years old Ryland or Jared I would say Jared Because he now doesn't drink

So maybe he started early That's crazy Let me get it Chris Is it you? No You're being a cop right now It's Chris I know his tells

I'm telling you I know Chris I know Chris well enough Was it you Because your family No he was an only child So I don't think he was sneaking out at nine. No.

Your family's very drinky. Like, you guys have a bar. You guys used to drink in the house. They would let us drink, though, because they didn't want us to then go crazy in college. But I would sneak out. At nine years old? No, no, no. But I'm saying.

When is the first drink you had? This is the first one I'm unsure about. Well, my brother was three years older, so probably like 14 or 15. Okay, okay. It's Chris. I'm sold on it. All right, everyone have an answer down? Yeah.

All right, three, two, one. Chris. well folks we're going to have to go live to the nursery no surprise yes we have a surprise confession no what wait hold on oh my mom and she's holding your children you got it is she drunk right now get her out of there dude Vicki we have a question were you really sneaking out at nine years old to get drunk well who guessed me no one no one we all everyone guessed me by the way so thanks a lot

oh you're welcome and what the hell Well, I just had these friends that lived down around the corner and I would, they would come to my window and I slept in the basement and I would climb out and we would go. And we didn't get drunk, I don't believe. And how old were these? So you already had a tolerance of nine. Okay. I was only nine. We thought it was cool maybe.

I don't know. And, okay. So you don't sneak out to drink anymore. Well, I did with my neighbors, but they left and moved away. So, no. They got in trouble for drinking and sneaking out with the neighbors all the time. We got to move out in this neighborhood. Yeah.

And so what's going on in there? Yeah, give us an update. Now that we've got you, what's going on? What's the update? I hate to be honest, but it's really calm right now. They're both asleep in the room where they sleep. All right. Well, I promise we're almost done with the show, and right afterward we'll take some shots.

In honor of your nine-year-old self. Okay. Well, thank you. Reporting live from the nursery. It's been nice reporting. What is so a send-off? Bye. Bye.

I love your mom. What a queen. Okay. What do you think. Should we do one more? I'm having fun. Let's do at least one more. At least.

Maybe two. Maybe two. All right. One more. Are you guys ready? Yeah. Confession. I gave a close friend head in middle school and we never talked about it ever again.

If this is Jared, I'm leaving. I'm leaving. That is not you because I know your first. first experience you talk about it all the time Craig's list of it. So it was Chris. Not you. That was Chris. Or it was Vicky again. Let's knock this one out quick and get to another one. We all know that Chris was giving head in middle school. Middle school? I don't know. 11 to 13. Shane was making

out with grandma's in his mom's bra. Well, I was wearing pink bikers shorts daring you to do it. All right. Ready? Three, two, one. No, I wait. I wrote. I wrote who I was trying to get people to guess, not the real answer. Chris, give us that story. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, it was at a sleepover.

There was a friend who had, he's like, oh, I found this magazine that my dad had, this, like, nudie magazine, and he started, like, jerking off to it. In front of you? Yeah. And not the first friend to do that, by the way. I've seen most of my straight friends jerk off. That's a whole other thing. But, like, I remember the weirdest part of, like,

whole thing was like the next morning like we were at this person's house and they were gone and I couldn't like I couldn't find him and then I just left and then we didn't talk to each other for a few days and then when I saw him at school he just tried really hard to act like nothing ever happened and we never spoke about it again but we would like it was weird like we knew this thing I don't know anyway I think it's normal I think it happens not with me but I think it happens you know wow well good job yeah I don't know how to respond to that. Okay, let's do one more.

Okay, yeah, yeah. Let's palate cleanse. I like these. They're very honest and vulnerable. Okay, you ready? I think crunch raps are overrated. I only pretend to like them. Wow.

No, fuck you, whoever wrote this. Whoa, that's Ryland. I could tell. No, Ryland's obsessed with that. I love them. If you were lying about that, that's actually scary in psychopathic. No, that is scary. You don't like a crunch rap, but I don't think you say you like them.

I love crunch raps. I've always said I love crunch. They're the best. They have everything you need inside of one thing. Are you lying to my face right now? You never like crunch traps. What are you talking about? And then I make the crunch traps at home.

Chris, is it you? No, I love crunch traps. Chris likes everything to talk about it. That's true. I feel like I've never heard Jared talk about his love of crunch traps. I don't hate them, but I don't make it a priority to lie about my like of them. Oh, I don't know who it is. All right, ready.

Three, two, one. Oh, we have a. We have a void. You say you don't like them publicly. Have you ever added extra nacho cheese to it? I've done it all. I've done it all. And here's the thing, if somebody were to ask me on the street, do you love cruncher house?

I'd be like, yeah, fuck yeah, of course. But the truth is, if I really ask myself, I don't really love them. I want to love them so bad because they're such a cool thing. I love buying them. I buy them every time. I love holding them. But you're lying. You don't like them.

You always buy them every time. For me. No, for me. No. I've never had these feelings towards you, Shane. We always cut it into triangles, and I always take some. You always take a bite, but then you're always like, I don't like it. Well, because I'm honest with you.

All right. Well, I thought that was a fun game. Game, shame. It was a tie. I mean, it was technically a tie between Vicky and Shane, but in the room it's Shane one. Although he put with just that last one. Yeah, that was the only one. No, not a real win.

No, it is a real win. Give me this. Congrats. Let me have this. Congrats. Thank you. Yeah. So if you guys have any confessions, send us an email.

I'll need us and podcast stuff at gmail.com. And maybe you'll be the one that's thrown in the mix to trick us all. Speaking of, that was a nice ooh. That was a harmonized, too. I liked it. Hey, sorry to interrupt the show, but I have a question for you. I'm looking at you right now, and I'm looking at your plate, which is very empty, by the way. Wow.

Good job. And I know what you're thinking, God, I could really go for seconds. You know what I could really go for? Just a horse trough-sized plate filled with pasta. Just completely filled with pasta. Oh, but I'm on a diet. I mean, we're not calling it a diet. We're calling it a, what do people call it now?

A lifestyle change. Ooh, I'm on a lifestyle change. So I probably shouldn't be eating two gallons of pasta, but now you can. Because our sponsor today is It's Skinny, and they make pasta that is literally nine calories for the entire bag and zero net carbs. So I've talked about them before. I tried them originally for the first time last fall. And I was very skeptical. When they reached out to me, I was like, is this a scam?

I don't really know. Like, how could this be good? So I didn't even wait for them to send it to me. I literally ordered some myself because I wanted to try it so bad. Because I am somebody who, and not to trigger anybody, but, you know, I've dealt with weight issues my entire life. I've dealt with yo-yoing and carbs affect me very fast. So I'm always one that kind of stays away from pasta or like spaghetti, even if it sounds really good in the moment because I'm like, oh, I'm going to feel bad. So when I heard about this, I was like, okay, this could be a game changer.

If I like this, this could kind of be a miracle. And this to me was a miracle. I was so excited. I literally ate the entire bag to a point where I was. was like, wow, I should stop or I will pop. And you guys know, the fun don't stop to like, hop. I'm hungry. I shouldn't do this ad when I'm hungry.

So Skinny Pasta has five all natural plant-based, non-GMO, gluten-free ingredients. And they have a bunch of different types. They have spaghetti, they have fettuccini, they have angel hair. They even have rice, which I tried with peanut sauce. And damn. So if you want to try it for yourself, please give it a try. Go to it's skinny.com. Use promo code Shane 25, and you'll get 25% off of your first purchase.

That's it's skinny. dot com use promo code shane 25 and you'll get 25% off of your first purchase so yeah hopefully you like it give it a try and if you do please send me an email and let me know what you put on it oh my god give me ideas i'm gonna go eat i'll see you guys like bye um okay speaking of viewer interaction it is time for vagina vagina viewers are great i need another yes um okay this is the most iconic viewer submission we've ever gotten. Are you ready? Fuck yeah. This is from Rosie.

So you're just throwing Cecee to the waist side? Oh my God, you're right. Oh my God, she literally had a child. Okay, so this is from Rosie. And I'm just gonna give it right away, right at the beginning. So this is a picture that she sent. Look who Rosie spotted in the wild. Oh, I remember.

She literally, I was looking through a hot wheel bin, and she rolled up on us and it was super cool. What a natural way to? to run into Jared. Can you also imagine being Rosie, right? Shout out Rosie. Imagine being Rosie and you run into Jared and Sandy, and they're wearing grower and farmer merch.

That is crazy. At Walmart with Hot Wheels, she got the quintessential moment and Rosie was rad. By the way, I told Rosie if she knows about any unopened hot wheel cases, let me know. And she said she would. So,

wow. The audience is real. It's incredible. So yeah, shout out Rosie. You got the picture. That is the best picture ever. Yeah,

it's epic. I'm just not holding to Stanley next time I'll be having it Right Okay, this next one is from Jera And Jera said Happy Holidays Congratulations to Shane of Ryland

and becoming dad, thank you Her boyfriend and her wanted to show a cute picture of them rocking the grower and farmer merch While enjoying a baseball game In Puerto Rico We go on international Can I just say

That's a couple That is a couple That's like giving I was gonna say something creepy It's like, no, be creepy dude That's what we're about It's like kind of giving only fans a little bit I don't know.

If they hadn't Only fans, I'd be like, oh yeah, that makes sense. Like, look at them. Yeah, you want to see them fuck. I mean. I'd watch. I feel like also like, they're down to get into a fight too.

They're down to fuck some people up probably. Together. I could see her be like, oh, really, bitch? And just fucking somebody out. The fact that they're just proudly wearing this at a baseball game. That is a man who has so much confidence.

That man is walking around a grower hoodie and look at him. Nobody's fucking with it. You want to pay to see that grower on only fans. Are we just promote their only fans? What is it? Shoot the link. What's the link?

Yeah, email it to us. Watch the start one just because of this. I mean, do it. Email it to Shane. I'll put it in the description. Oh, no, you can on YouTube. All right. Well, thank you, Jared.

That was so sweet. Sorry that we just literally assaulted you. I feel like looking at her name, I'm looking at my name on drugs or something. I think it's my name. I like her name. I love it. This next one is from Sarah. And Sarah said that we are proudly.

wearing our grower farmer merch out in the town. We think it's hilarious because we're lesbians. Okay, can I just say, lesbians? What about it? Love us. I feel like I was going through the email. So many lesbians. And then we were in real life.

Like, we were at a restaurant. And we watched lesbian couple get proposed to. Like they proposed to each. One of them proposed to the other. And it was so sweet. And then the lesbian, one of the lesbians turned over and said, sorry to be weird, but I love your videos. And I was like, oh my God.

Lesbians in the wild. The lesbians love us. Like they don't exist. And I love lesbians. I know. I vibe super hard with lesbians. Me too. Yeah.

They're the best. I've always had a best friend who is a lesbian. Your best friend is Lizzie who claims to be a lesbian. She claims that she's not a lesbian. Okay. Sorry, out her. Lesbian. Yes.

Leslie Liz. Yes. I've always got along with lesbians. Which is interesting because I feel like there's a stereotype that lesbians don't like... Oh, are you going to talk about how like allegedly gay people and lesbians people don't like each other really. Is our show break? that stereotype? Do we need a lesbian on the show?

Ooh, I love that. JoJo. Oh, my God. Has she not been on our show? I feel like she has because we filmed a different video with her on a podcast day. Okay. Get her on this couch. And last one, this is so cute.

This is from Brittany. She said her boyfriend got her the Tumblr for Christmas, the Conspiracy Club Cup, and she literally screamed. Also, we just found out we're pregnant. Oh my God. Any advice on being new parents? And here is a picture of her cup. And here is a picture of her and her man who got her the cup.

Oh, and they're matching you. Oh, my gosh. Okay. Our advice, whoa. Whoa. Okay, calm down. Don't be so scared and nervous because the first 48 hours, I was a wreck. They're going to be okay.

Even if they go and start choking on something, they're going to be fine because they can just turn their little heads and spit it out. And if they do their first spit up, you kind of just make sure that it's going to go out of their mouth. Yeah. But it's going to be so fun and you're going to love it. And it's a wild. I mean, we're only a month into this. And it's just been beautiful and wonderful. A little stressful, but worth that.

But she got the first thing that she really needs, which is a killer cup. A hundred percent. She got the cup. You got that situated. You're ready. Especially good breastfeeding. You need to hydrate. Oh, yeah.

Okay. So why don't we do a couple voicemails? Hi, Shane. My name is Brenda. I'm from Arkansas. I just wanted to ask you what I should do. My boyfriend and I were messing around. in our bedroom and he had his pants off and he scooted off the bed and left a piece of poop

on the sheet and I didn't know how to bring about it but I washed the sheets as soon as possible okay I love you guys take care bye I think the move is to confront them right then and there because it's awkward to bring up confront yeah what do you mean if if you have to poop stain on our couch or our bed I would be like hey brother you need to pick that up and go wash it Was it a poop stain or a piece of poop? Was it a little poop chunk? I thought it was like a piece of poop. Like a big log?

I think he had some left over from a previous wipe. Probably because he sits and wipes like you fucking psychos. I think the funny part is if they were just messing around and stuff he got out of the bed, that means he had a bunch of poop in his butt while they were messing around. Ew. However, you know what? I think you did the right thing. Sometimes knowing is enough.

You don't have to, you know, make a billboard about it. Oh, I take a billboard. You can if you want, but I think what you did is exactly right. And at least you didn't, you know, put him on blast in front of a bunch of people or anything like that. Like calling in a podcast and talking about it, you know what? You did the right thing. I think just washing it and having his back is great. I agree. What?

First of all, and I don't want to fight. But you missed your poopie by. Are you kidding me? What the poop you leave everywhere you go? Oh, my hell. Here we go again. Life with Shane and Brow. Have I ever said anything?

Shane? Do I ever make a thing of it? Every single time. Every single time, how many times does this happen? No. I'm just saying, What he's talking about? He doesn't even care about it.

Oh, my hell. Shane, shut your mouth. Somewhere, he's just, I'm like, can you go, I'm like, go bidet or go wipe or do something, and then he's just like, who cares? I'm just saying, I feel like both of us Both of us will bring up bodily things to each other.

Not like that. That's so traumatizing. If I left a little poopy somewhere on accident, you should just take care of it and don't tell me the way I do to you every time. I'm the only one who washes our sheet, so you would never know. Anyways, thank you for calling in the show. What if it keeps happening, though, like, if this is a one- How about this?

If it never happened before and like he's gotten out of a bed in his life numerous times, it's probably an isolated incident. We don't have to investigate it anymore. You know what I mean? I would say it's all about the tone and the scenario. Obviously, if it's a vulnerable thing, then, yeah, you don't want to make him feel like an idiot. But if you can bring it up in a way that's playful or that you guys can have. Playful.

That doesn't feel like an attack. Poop chunk. Yeah, it wouldn't probably feel demasculating have someone playfully tell you you pooped on the bed. You know what I mean? I think he did the right thing. Don't say nothing. You know what I mean? Because he's going to get you back on the next one.

And you won't know that maybe you left some poop on the bed. All right, let's do one more. Hi, my name's Tori. I'm from Texas. So, basically, long story short, because she just says, keep it short. I'm having trouble with my boyfriend, and I really need some advice, and I really don't have anyone to go to. I try to ask him for a compliment, and the only thing that he has ever said is, I love you. Like, if I ask for a compliment, he would literally be like, uh, I love you.

Oh. And also, I have to remind him to brush his teeth. Is that normal? Is this the thing? You have to literally remind your boyfriend to brush his teeth. Anyway, that was it. Bye. Help me.

I think you need a new boyfriend. Yeah, break up with a dude. You know, I think at this point, if he's not giving you compliments and that's something that you need in a relationship, you need that kind of affirmation and that's maybe your love language or whatever, he doesn't brush his teeth. That seems important to you. And the way that he says, I love you,

I think maybe it's just not the move. for you. You know, and that's okay. Here's the thing, though, in the beginning of our relationship, he was not a compliment giver. And when, and finally after a few months, I was like, do you, do like me or like anything about me? Because you don't really say anything. And then you said something so unsettling. You said, well, I'm just, well, in your straight voice. Well, I'm just one of those people where like, when I give a compliment, it's like, I mean it. And I'm like, okay, well, you have a given one. So it's been a few months. What did I say on our anniversary? It's literally been eight years and he finally and his mom was there to witness it he finally said he go what did you

say that i hit the jackpot i have the world's best husband we love each other he's so thoughtful he you're the best like and i like you more every day which is crazy and i did say we're lucky we still like each other because it's been eight years yeah it just took eight years to get that compliment so i tell him all the time when i was thinking there's like certain people raised in a certain family dynamic where like that wasn't a thing anyone ever did and maybe they feel weird about it maybe it's uncomfortable for them to compliment somebody and like something they like can't even force out of themselves i'm the opposite of that so i don't understand that but if there's if there's why you can sit down and talk and he explains like no i really like i genuinely love you i just

can't express that i don't know i think that's something that maybe you can work on i'd give him a limit a time limit say like listen give i'm gonna give you a month give me more compliments and brush your teeth and by the end of the month i'll do a review yeah there you to me it sounds like she's been asking him like were you that like that with Ryland like hey Ryland like well then hey maybe it's gonna work out yeah he would say like it's something that's important to me and then yeah over time I did but it's because it I knew it was something that was important and now I just say them when it like because I would think compliments but I wouldn't always verbalize them so I would just have that exercise or verbalize it to him because I'm one of those people where I'm so insecure that I think

you're only with me because of my personality and because you love me, so you have to be with me. So if you don't say something nice about me every once in a while, I just have to be like, well, you know, it's scary. Right. So I would have another open, honest conversation with him and say this is something that's important to me. And when you think something nice about me, I would like you to verbalize it and see, re-evaluate in a little bit. Yeah. And if he's not leaving little chunks of poop, you've got a winner. Yeah. And they have this up. And if he does, just wash the sheets. Watch a seat.

Don't be an asshole. Yeah. Okay. We're going to take a quick little break. I'm going to go leave a little chump of poop in the toilet. And we come back. We come back. Conspiracies.

See in a second. All right. Welcome back. Okay. So you're probably wondering why we all have tape measures to show our. Don't give it away. Okay. This is a really fun theory.

And ladies at home, I want to give you something to try with your boyfriend or husband or only fan's partner. Okay. So let me explain the theory and how I fucked it up. So I was watching, so we were in the nursery, right? So I'm watching Instagram Reels on mute because I didn't want to wake the babies. So I'm going through when I see this reel. And let me just show you, and I'm going to mute it.

So you'll have the same experience I did. We're not going to measure people on the internet. We're going to measure each other? Okay, so they're all measuring. All these guys are like measuring six inches without looking. and they're all getting it right. Whoa. Okay.

So I saw this and I was like, and it's called the six inch challenge. So I was like half paying attention. I was just like, oh, that makes sense. Like every guy has measured their dick before when they were teenagers. So our brains, they know what inches are. So like, okay, that's what the six inch challenges. So I write it down. I send myself an email to remind myself for the podcast.

And then later I go and I rewatch this with the sound. And I'm watching. I'm like, oh my God, first of all. It's a challenge for carpenters. because I guess every carpenter is so good with tape measures that they could not even look at the numbers. And no, in this video, all these guys are this woman's sons. Oh.

She's like filming her sons who are all carpenters doing this. And I was like, I really misread the challenge. That's great. But I already had bought the challenge by the Amazon. So then I'm like, okay, I'm going to reframe the challenge a little bit to not just be for carpenters because I think every man is going to be able to do this. I don't think I'm going to be able to do this. we're going to test the theory.

Let's do it. Okay. So how you do it is you. Facing away from you. Yeah. Facing away from you so you don't see. Yeah, I won't be able to. And you guys are going to be able to see if we're right.

Okay, ready? Six inches. I have literally no idea. Yeah, six inches. I'm locked in. Oh, no, that's looking like five and a half. Oh, gosh. I have no.

It keeps not. Two hands? Well, hold on. Yeah. Okay, their strategy. What if the ladies' sons would have done that when she? Let me see here. Let me see. Okay, ready? So let's all look and see what we got.

I'm at five inches. Oh, holy shit. I'm at like exactly six. I'm exactly six! I'm at five. Oh. Oh no. Oh my God.

It's like... Yours maybe slipped a little. It was an accident. Yeah. Oops. That is crazy. Is yours at exactly six? It's like very close. Fine too. Wow. This theory is true.

It's not just carpenters. Oh my God. I was positive. I wouldn't be able to do this. Okay, hold on, Spencer. Oh my God. No. Fucking wet!

Oh, Oh, my God. Did you also get it? This is nuts. I mean, all of us have eight-inch dicks, but like, you know. Yeah, mine's two inches from the ground. Right, right.

Wow. Look at us. Okay, ladies, please. Please do this with your boyfriends or husbands and email us videos of you doing this because this is the crazy shit I've ever seen Call it six inch challenge six inch challenge how about this how about this really can't believe it Guess how many inches that is? I have no idea 27. No no no 36 was he right? 33 show off I don't know my time's table I don't know my times tables, but I know my inches

That's merge this isn't really a conspiracy Believe there was that last one but this is just crazy. I saw this so remember we talked about in a previous episode the Little Mermaid cover that has a dick on it oh yeah and how Disney like took it away and it's like in the vault now or whatever well somebody took a video at i think hallmark and look at this it's on a fucking hallmark ornament the dick isn't that crazy wow dude that could be like a treasure hunt what that could be like a limited edition why would they not why would they sell those i'm stupid in that time i didn't see the dick where is it oh it's in the center of the castle It's like six inches

Sorry, I like her nails, sorry, continue Oh my copy too Oh yeah, it's very Cruella Do you think it's because it's not copyright Is that, never mind Licensed? It has to be licensed because it says Disney on the top right It does. They literally fucked up bad

It's pretty worth a lot They should be it doubling down This isn't really a conspiracy either Oh my god These are all not conspiracy But before you leave Please don't leave because Jared has a mind-blowing I do I do

that pretty soon he's going to blow our minds with. When you do your thumbnail face in real life. Yeah. This is just something that I heard about and I did no research on it. I just was like, oh, that's kind of interesting. Very conspiracy theory-like. Things from the 90s that you probably forgot about. Food products that were wrapped in foil.

Candy bars like Hershey's Crunch Kit Katz all wrapped in foil. Some cereals came in a foil bag. Those little juice barrels all had foil lids. One day without us realizing it, the foil was gone. When did the foil stop and why? I have no idea. I didn't even Google it. This bitch isn't going to answer for us?

Nope. But why? What is something wrong with foil? Did they find out foil is killing us all? And they were like, ooh, just take it away. Let's not tell them. They bright found out it was good for us. You know, now I'm really craving a Kit Kat and a foil.

They still wrap like Giradelli chocolates and foil, though. They do? And the little tiny baby ones, they make it look like foil, but it's not foil. Interesting. That mind fucked me. I didn't expect that. Okay, this is a Mandela effect that I'm going to be honest. I don't even understand because I was not watching this show.

But this is from Samantha. If you have any Mandela's, by the way, send it to us at Shane Nelson podcast up at gmail.com. And she said, hey, Shane, my name's Samantha, big fan. We love you, Samantha. She said, I have a new conspiracy or Mandela for you. Do you remember Bob the Builder? I think it's a little bit young for me. Yes, we can.

So you know it. Bob the Builder. Really? Yeah, I think my, I heard. heard this when my sister was watching it as a kid though who's six years younger than me yeah yeah i think it just missed me but i vaguely know the theme song i vaguely know about it okay so do you remember how bob the builder talked no no i feel like i hear like hey bob like the other people talking to bob right well the mandela is that bob had a british accent the whole time what i guess he did

Bob the Builder. Oh, that sounds familiar. I've never, I don't even know the song. I don't even know Bob. No. Can we be? Really? So does he have a British accent?

Yes, we can. Hello. You know, now that you're hearing that, I just hear it. We are here too. It's a, oh, Bobble the Builder. Oh, we look a little hammer. Can you Google it? We can build it.

Can you Google it? We can build it. We go very. chop we can do that i don't know i got i gotta feel it you know i got to feel british yeah um okay well we have a follow-up mandela before we get to jared's big theory but this is from liz she said i vividly remember the whole tannicon fiasco happened a lot of people were going in hard for the boss guy that was riding around on the segue right michael weiss oh my gosh yeah shout out so she said i remember specifically that everybody was calling him boss baby like after the movie because in boss baby

that character rides around on a segue. But guess what, Shane? Boss Baby never rode around on a segue. So why do I have a huge memory of us calling the guy at TanaCon boss baby? And I'd like to explain. I don't think the segue was part of it. I think he just kind of resembled Boss Baby.

I think that's it. I don't think the segue was part of it. I think I should go back and watch that to remember. Do you remember? I know what. We had this moment where like two months or three months after TanaCon and after the series came out,

all that. I tried to set up a dinner with Tanna and Michael. At Hugo's in West Hollywood. Because I was like, I want everybody to be friends. I want everybody to like, let's all apologize and let's all Kiki and like, let's get through this. Let's come up with some suggestions to fix things. And it turned into, it was like real housewives. It was screaming across the table. At my favorite restaurant, by the way, Hugo's shout out. At least we were in the back room so the everyone else in the restaurant didn't hear. Crazy. It was housewives. I mean, I was like, and people were like and yelling and it was wild. The waiters would walk in. and then they'd like back up against the wall

and then they'd exit because it was so tense in the room. So like Tana stood up and she, and I don't feel like she'll be mad at me telling the story because it was interesting, but she like stood up and she's like going in on him and then he's sitting there with all his jewelry and he's just like, and it was crazy.

And then the food comes in and then everybody stops and we'd just start eating. It was like, what's going on? And then like everyone was being very nice to like everyone that worked there, but it was like they'd either walk in in it. It was very fascinating. So, uh, yeah, TanaCon part two coming soon.

boss baby um okay now it's time to get to the big conspiracy of the day jared okay so i something came across the desk recently you know a buddy of mine was telling me about this new theory now i don't know if you guys remember the flat earth theory right so so i mean theories like that whether they be goofy or not they're always intriguing to me because it's crazy to tear apart the fabrics of reality so the shape of the earth is always has been intriguing. Oh, it's flat. But, well, you know, the fact that it could be flat.

No, you know what I mean? Or, like, what people were saying. But the recent one I'm hearing about, and I keep hearing about this, is that the earth might be hollow. So there actually might be a world inside of the earth. And have you guys seen the movie Godzilla? Yes. I guess Godzilla, the whole premise of it is these monsters that live inside of the earth.

And then, you know, I was doing a little bit of research and I was thinking because a lot of the information about like the flat earth one of them is the guy that flew up to antarctica and he saw a bunch of weird shed and then uh so forth and so on but evidently what he saw when he flew over the north pole was a huge opening and he could see a whole other land inside of the earth and uh yeah he was not able to talk about that when he got back but his name was admiral bird and he would go on tv shows and like vigorously tell people they should explore the north pole and it's very important for the future and for humanity and, you know, so

that's just kind of like a little bit of it, but as I was doing some research, I found a couple interesting things and I thought, well, if the Earth is hollow, maybe there's other hollow planets, you know? And evidently during Apollo 12, they wanted to see how earthquakes, or if earthquakes

happened on the moon, and the best way to do this was they would shoot like rockets and stuff at the moon and they would see the seismic activity of it. And the last thing they shot at the moon was their lunar module which is like I think part of what they came to the moon on and when they did that the moon actually rang like a bell no way yeah so evidently the moon could be hollow so I mean that opens up some uh thoughts and then you know you think about any kind of conspiracy

like this you have to think about who's giving us the information that we're believing in you know what I mean which is NASA and NASA was started in like 1958 or so something like that and one of the things that they were doing, and this is just kind of like a side thing, but it was called Operation Paperclip, and they were getting people that were in the German camp. I don't want to, like, you know, say the name of what the Germans were during World War II, but

they got all these scientists, and they brought them in to, like, build rockets and shit like that for us, and one of the guys, his name was Werner von Braun, and this is just like a crazy thing to even think about, because what got him, like, famous in the rocket world, is

he created the V2 missile. or the V2 rocket for the Germans. But this is just the fact that blew my mind I wanted to share. This thing traveled beyond the speed of sound at 3,400 miles per hour. So if it were to be blasted off at us, let's just assume right now they shoot one to where we're at. Okay. You wouldn't even see this fucking thing or hear it

because it goes faster than the speed of sound. And it'd be like seeing something doing this in front of your face. You know what I mean? So just, I don't know. When I was researching it, that was just a moment I thought, just imagine that. You're just chilling out one day. and you never even see it coming.

You don't even hear it. Nothing like that. And a missile just fucking hit. But the Germans, the reason this is kind of, I'm in the midst of research as well because I had something I wanted to say flat out, but the research got me all over the place. But evidently, the reason that Admiral Bird flew up to the North Pole and the government wanted him to do this is because they feared that the Germans were using it for military purposes. And when he went up there, he said he saw like spaceships, he saw other earthly objects.

He talked to a race of like aliens that told him that they're very unpleased with what humans are doing. Wait, where were they? They were in the inside of where he went. He flew into the whole inside of the earth. You know? So when there's a huge natural disaster that ruins the earth, does that earth just dissolve and we become what's underneath? All the rich people are going to go in it.

I mean, well, look at this. We are all told, look up for UFOs. What if that's just a distraction? Because how far do you ever do you ever do? Because haven't you seen the videos of the aliens that go just, into the ocean. Oh my God. And we know less about the ocean than we do about the surface of the moon.

Okay, true. We can't even explore the moon or explore the deepest ocean. And we can only drill eight thousand or eight miles into the core of the earth and it's 4,000 miles, you know, large. And this was actually, I mean, this is a theory that was proposed in like the 16th century by an astronomer who was a mathematician and a scientist. How do you get in the hole? Because I'm thinking if the hole is like a big hole, how do you, how do you,

All I heard is that Godzilla may or may not be real, and I'm very excited about this. But the only way to get in the hole is to fly above the North Pole or the South Pole where the openings are, which you're not allowed to do. Why? And to go into it. I don't know. Is that a fact? You're not allowed to go directly over them. Why?

That's a word. For safety purposes. Why? Jared, you're giving away our German secrets. You know? To talk about these sinks. But I mean, you have to. Show me the hole.

But you have to. It all unravels into again, you know. Can we believe what NASA's telling us? Interesting. Is the information real? And why was NASA even started? You know, and evidently the reason that Admiral Bird talked to these people and they told them all this stuff is because in the 50s is the first time we set off like a nuclear bomb.

And that alerted the people inside and like, oh shit, these people are getting pretty advanced. They're going to blow themselves up. So evidently, yeah, there's a whole world inside of the earth. It's hollow, you know? And evidently, that's like the hell underneath us. You know, it's the other side. So Godzilla versus Kong just gave away all the secrets. They do say that they try to, like, release information in movies

and make us think that it's far-fetched from reality so we don't know what the reality of things is. Whoa. So, yeah, so the theory is Godzilla try to tell us. So if this proves to be true, then the Earth isn't flat. The Earth? Oh. No. Or is it like a sandwich?

No, no. They actually, the government put. the flat earth as a distractor so we wouldn't even think about the truth of the hollow earth shut up we need another water talk yeah so they were like oh no you're stupid that sounds ridiculous all the while thinking they don't even fucking know it's hollow honestly that's the truest shit you've ever said yeah that is so true then putting out that flat earth thing to like fuck us up i'm just saying distractions yeah what's real honestly i've No idea.

Well, on that, what's five times five? Well, on that note, speaking of things that are too good to be true. What? He knew it. Five times five. Oh. That was very delayed. Yeah.

But good job. Thank you. Well, you might not be good at math, but you know what you are good at? Ryland's recap. My camera action. Ryland's recap is about to happen. Ryland's recap On today's episode of the Shane Dawson podcast

Hello as first time dads Our kids are here I didn't know where I was going with that They're geniuses And they're geniuses Are you okay Mommy brain What's happening live in the nursery

So we're still waiting for the little ones To wake up and eat some more And repeat our normal process They're being delayed a little. They're sleepy. Oh. Well, let's wake them up with this recap. Woo!

Okay, let's go. Um, oh, your mom used to get drunk when she was nine. Oh. In shocking news, my mom was getting wasted at nine years old. Mom? What can I say? Thank God we're fine. We all have our Stanleys.

Yes. Do you have your Stanley, Mom? My family or Stanley. Same. thing. Okay. Same thing, baby. Okay, I have both. Nice. Okay, mom, give us a report live from the nursery. I should probably go. They're both crying now or I can go ahead and mute it. All right, we'll let you go, Vicki, but thank you for your openness and honestness today. Yes. And for helping us with our babies. We'll be in to help you soon. You hear Jen. Okay. See, that man wants what he wants, what he wants it.

Okay. Jared confirms that Godzilla and King Kong are real. Yes. Yes. Yes. Honestly, the most shocking conspiracy theory this show has ever seen. Jared, shocked. Not me, but the world. Like, I was captivated by your research. Yeah. Oh, leaving poop in the bed is okay

and your significant others should give you a pass. The room is divided. If your significant other left a shit on the bed, would you call him out or nicely do the laundry? If you're a significant other

Amber hurted you, then you should... Give that ass a pass. Come on. Oh, lesbians love us. Yes Hello lesbians We love you too Alarmingly

A lot of lesbians Watch our podcast Alarming Well I just hate Because like I never knew And thank you Chris for our Christmas gifts We are all Funko Pops Yes

Of course Oh the game of shame Is our new favorite game Honestly the game of shame Is my new favorite game And I loved learning about All of you in that way Like I would have never known

Chris gave One of his friend's head In middle school Should have never known but now we know because of the game of Shane. And now you all know, Shane doesn't love a crunch rap. Yeah. My mom's been drunk at night.

Heartbreaking. Rosie, when you met us at Walmart, I had not used the bathroom yet. So don't get any thoughts. I didn't use a bathroom there. My hands were clean. You're scooping through the hot wheels after you didn't watch the head? Yeah. Shouldn't we just make the hunt fun?

All public bathrooms transform to sanitizer? Yeah, for sure. But you can't sanitize off poops. Okay, you're right. I'm not pooping in a public bathroom unless it's in a murk to see. I'm taking an air dump. You should see your side of the bed. Excuse you.

I'm really concerned about your guys's butts. Why is there so much poop? I'm just talking about all over the place. I'm just talking about sweat on white sheets. What do you mean my side of the bed? Well, yeah, Buffy is a game changer. But before, when I first rolled into Shane's life, I was like crunching in sheets and I was like, when's the last time these have been changed?

Like everything you could ever imagine that has existed in and from a body existed in those sheets when I met him. Okay. First of all. You don't want sheets and you wouldn't if you didn't have a woman in your life. Okay. Puerto Ricans are fans of ours

and they're wearing the merch at a game. Yes. And they might have an only fan. Subscribe to their only fans below. Oh, um, um, um, Bob the Builder is British. Pop de Piupta.

It's very Michael Cain and Batman, is what I'm going for. Have you ever done a British accent? No. Do it. No. Why? Because you're going to make fun of me. Just say, hop in the Rory.

I don't know. Okay. Oh, Little Mermaid still has a dick. Oh, wait. Yeah, it does. On the Christmas tree ornament, there's penises. Disney is still trying to teach your kids about sex, putting dicks in your home everywhere across America. Thanks to the homework store.

Legal notes, that's not the theory. Yeah. compliment your boyfriend right oh yeah yeah come on it's a new year compliment your boyfriend your girlfriend anyone you're with and make them feel good Shane that blue really brings out your eyes you look dazzling should we give them like like a go-to compliment for their partners if need be yeah what do you think you know I think I think a good one to say is you know you just look beautiful today you know just say that just say you look beautiful you look so amazing but as an insecure person I'd be like what did I look like yesterday Why just today?

It just struck me right now. I had to tell you. Okay, wrap it up. All right, you guys, that's it for today's episode of the Shane Dossin podcast. Make sure you're following all of us on social media, shopping the merch at Shane Dossanmerch.com. Get your grower and your farmer merch. Maybe you'll run into Jared and Sandy at Walmart,

shopping for hot wheels with the white wheels. You definitely will. Happy New Year. You look beautiful, amazing today, better than yesterday, quite honestly. And we'll see you next time right here on the Shane Dosson. podcast. Why was his compliment to them better than his compliment? Right? Weird. But, you know, like when you're talking to the camera, I'm just thinking about my number one as if it's

you. I have a purpose. He's trying, guys. He's trying. Come on. He's trying. He's trying. Yes. Well, you guys go hopefully enjoyed whatever the hell this was. I have a lot of fun. Thank you guys for doing this. I had fun. I really enjoyed doing the show. I feel like this was a nice break from feeding and pooping and farting. And now I'm excited to get back in there. Yeah, there's nothing better than being a parent. But I do think it's nice to take a moment for yourself every once in a while. Yeah.

All the words. Is that what they do? Why not? Let's do it. Okay. Yeah. Next time. Bye.

I'm just scared. This is going to mean something. Somewhere. Okay. Bye. Hi, I'm Danny L'Priori. Ever get the feeling you're being watched online? It's not paranoia.

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