The Shane Dawson Podcast - Pop Culture Conspiracy Theories! Taylor Swift, SHEIN, and Deadpool vs Wolverine!1

Episode Date: May 12, 2024

Pop Culture Conspiracy Theories! Taylor Swift, SHEIN, and Deadpool vs Wolverine!1 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi, I'm Danny L'Priori. Ever get the feeling you're being watched online? It's not paranoia. It's data brokers. These companies collect your personal information, including your browsing habits, where you live, and even who you're related to, and they sell it to the highest bidder. That's where ORA comes in. ORA automatically removes your personal info from data broker sites and keeps it off. It also monitors the dark web, safeguards your device.

devices, or alerts you to real-time threats, and more. Start your free trial at ora.com slash control. That's a-U-R-A-com slash control for your free trial. Jared, you said you have a theory. That's going to shake us. I do. Have you guys ever heard of them? Whoa.

Wow, you are dropping bombs. Go give somebody a hug. Hey, welcome back to whatever the hell this is. I'm sick out of my fucking mind edition on so many meds edition, no filter edition, which is dangerous for who else is on the show. We have postponed this episode so many times. I'm so sorry, you guys, but I kept getting sicker, and then I kept getting on new medications and doctors like, I don't know what it is.

And this is the first day that I'm talking, so like I haven't heard my voice in a week. This is very strange. It's just been a lot. But listen, everyone at home is probably thinking you're an asshole for getting everyone's sick. Yeah, but he's not contagious. It was an ear infection that turned into a sinus infection because it took too long to get the results. And I haven't gotten it. The babies haven't gotten it.

It's not something that's just a common cold. The second I felt sick, I like called the doctor. I got swabbed for everything with bacteria, virus, like everything. And they were like, you don't have anything. Like, we don't know what it is. So they're not on antibiotics and stuff. But so I'm not contagious. Cool.

Well, yeah. Nice. Hell yeah. But sinuses are no joke. The closest I ever got to death in my life was from a sinus infection. Oh, God, I remember you were, I remember you were a teenager, and you were laying in the front yard, and mom was going, he's going to die, he's going to die. I was too young to comprehend it, but, yeah. They almost had to airlift me to, like, emergency hospital to give me a shot in my butt.

How bad did you let this infection get? Why were you laying in the front yard? Yeah, that's what was my question. Pain. I was in pain. I needed fresh air, but I got so bad in my sinus cavities, like, inflamed. and my forehead was out to hear what it was like a big bubble yeah teresa if you have a photo hit the pot it cast rid of it yeah i'd rather than also on medication that would have been so weird

if she took a photo of it you know what i mean like okay before we go to hospital just a second that's what i think about when people are crying you know all these girls that are taking photos of them crying i'm like are you like literally going to make fun of me for taking photos of crying all the time this bitch brings it up i've read it yes i just think speaking of inopportune times to take pictures of yourself, it's so weird to me when people are actually crying and they're like, let me get a picture of what this looks like. Girls do it all the time. That's what we do. If you're actually sad, how's that your first response? I think it's a case-by-case basis, but personally, I'm taking a picture because in the moment it's like, wow, you're a lot.

And then it's like, I take a picture. And you always have that like, like that really quiet little voice where it's like, you might be a pretty crier. Then you take a picture. It's like, oh, God. Wow. You're not. And then you start crying even more. What a vicious cycle you're putting yourself through. It's toxic. Yeah.

Well, speaking of women crying, Spencer. Give up. I am on pins and needles. I'm so excited for the update. So I've tried not to talk about this to you off camera because I'm like, I want a genuine reaction. So we're all waiting. We all want to know. Okay, let's start with Tashira.

Okay. What's an update with Tashira? DeShira, I just, you know, I don't think it was like a romantic spark, so to speak, but I think she was super nice, super, like, she was awesome. Very honest. Yeah, very honest. But even, like, off-camera, she was like, you know, I don't know. She was just like a really nice person.

But yeah, that didn't, I don't think that's going to lead to anything. But I do have a date with Desray tomorrow. Nice. Oh, my God. We'll see what happens on a normal date. Are you doing fishing? No, we're just going to, like, a bar to, like, have a more. private conversation.

I figured we should have like a thing where we just like hang out just like one on one more. Like a normal date? Yeah, like a normal day where people aren't watching and laughing at me. So as of right now, is it just a bar or is there plans to go somewhere else after the bar? It's just a bar and some food and just like, just like hang out. Okay, so have you you texted with, how did that go? Yeah, I just, I was like, hey, I'd love to hang out another time. She's like, yeah, it took a while just of like scheduling stuff.

Drag race was on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, this will be the first time we hung out afterwards. Wow. We'll see, we'll see what happens. And you're going to pay, right? Yeah, yeah. I don't know.

Use the corporate card, corporate card. Or is that weird? Maybe that's weird. I look at the bill and it's just like, 10 lobsters. You guys flew to Vegas. How many dates can you get on the podcast? Like, on us. You guys just keep, you're like not even interested in each other.

You're just like, keep running out. It's just a meal. Food's expensive, honestly. It honestly is. Okay, Chris. Me? I have a question. So we're going to skip over your shirt and how good it looks. Thank you.

Okay, listen. Well, we're going to talk about Shane's shirt, but not my shirt. You also look very cute. Thank you. It's basically the same shirt. You always look so good, but also on top of that, today is the first time I've seen your bump. Oh, yeah, she's popping. The bump is bumping.

Well, he's popping. You look beautiful. You have that pregnancy glow. That's your makeup. I saw you stealing that before the show. You're welcome. No, thank you. Okay.

Good Lord. Okay. So you guys are sitting next to each other, which is very exciting because you guys have been in the midst of a pretty big war for, I'd say, the last couple of weeks. Which war? Yeah, we're constantly fighting. The war over. I'm literally packing here right now just in case. So you guys have been fighting about Taylor Swift.

Oh. And this isn't just me trying to get Taylor Swift and Kimmer dashing in the thumbnail, although they will be in there. So what happened was Taylor dropped, you know, I don't know. I honestly don't know that much about it. She dropped a bunch of albums. People are very mad about it, but happy about it. The internet hates her, but loves her. I don't know.

Everyone's listening, which is all that really matters. But you guys were fighting over it, and it was like an actual drama, and you were like, what is going on? You're like, Lizzie just doesn't get it. And I was like, this is too much. No, Ryland didn't get it. No, that's not true. That is true.

You get it now, you stupid bitch. He's been singing it nonstop. No, listen. Oh, not no. Who just put it on upstairs when we were in your bedroom. He's been singing it non. Stop. Some songs are growing on me.

I will admit, but the album as a whole sounds too similar for me, and it's a little depressing, which I get, like, the majority of her audience is sad girls. Every time I see Rylind, he's added another song from the album to his list of lust. It's just not like the gay summer album that I needed, but I can't appreciate... She's not gay! Well, our real feud lied in how she goes about dragging people. And I disagreed with that and she's obsessed with that. Oh, I'll drag.

Well, let me break it down because I feel like Jared probably doesn't know what this is. And I feel like I'd love to get hit. I thought we were talking about Taylor Swift, but then Kim came up and I got a little confused. Oh, it's important. Because Kim is the fucking devil. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm not taking that back. You love Kim Kardashian.

She's not the devil. I don't care. I've always said Kim, her mom is the devil. Right. Well, they all work hard. We live close. We love them. I love them. I feel like they have Hitman ready.

They wish. So, Jerry. So they hate each other, right? I don't remember why. Who? I forgot. Kim and Tim. Because Kim's a fucking snake-ass bitch. Okay.

Snake-ass bitch. So now, Taylor, eight years later, wrote a song about Kim, right? She hates Kim, so she wrote a song. But she changed the girl's name in the song to Amy. So the whole song is, I haven't actually heard it. The whole song is like, Amy, fuck you. I hate you, whatever. I like that for Taylor.

She also adds in, like, I can't wait for your daughter to listen to sing my song and not know it's about her mom. It's pretty fucked up, right? Wait, is that the actual lyric? Fighting words. Because that was a strong lyric, it rhymed. I like that. Okay.

But look at the title. So she changed the name to Amy, but look at the title of the song. She capitalized K-I-M. It could be anyone. Oh, dude. I'm a fan. I like it. This is better than any hip-hop beef that we've had in years.

No, what it really is, Jared. Okay. Okay. I'll just state my problem with it. I'll be interested at least for 30 minutes. If she doesn't like Kim, I'm all for her doing whatever she wants to do. I don't want to talk about this. Yeah, guys, find more on the SIF every, you know, week.

No, no, no, no. I want 30 seconds. It's just that Taylor Swift has also made a career feuding with people, a la Cady Perry, and she's acting like Kim's this big bully, but Taylor is the Kim in Olivia Rodriguez story. So it's like, Taylor is the mutating events. Oh, okay, me this. Everyone knows it.

So I'm just saying it goes all around. There she can't act. No, there is substantial evidence of Kim being an asshole. There is no substantial evidence of Taylor beyond like us just speculating. I think Olivia's whole album. Where's Tashira when we need her to mediate? Right?

We need to shir here mediating this. That'd be great. I'm allowed to write her songs and allowed to fill her feelings, but I'm just saying she is the same as all of these people. Wait, so which side are you guys on? I love all of them. I love Olivia, Taylor, Kim. Is this all fans?

This is like Star Wars fans, too. No, I think, I don't like it as to Star Wars fans. It's a specific genre of people. Like, I'm a fan of things and I don't hate, like, you know what I mean? Like, I'll be a fan and I don't eat it. You just don't have fun arguing for fun. That's where we differ. I want to argue

And I think that's fun And that's what we're really good friends Because we'll scream at each other It gets borderline like too far And then we like high five and smile about it So you're healthy Yes I'm in therapy

And he won't do it I got a new therapist by the way Oh my What did you say I'm clapping I got a new therapist Which is very much thanks to everyone here It's hard to encourage me to go to therapy Thanks to you

Nothing's so sorry Wait wait I Oh whoa whoa No, no, no, no, I'll take it, but whoa. No, Jared, because you specifically mentioned, oh, through your, like, medical provider, maybe you can find a cheaper option because I couldn't afford my therapist. And for a while, it was only virtual in COVID. But now they have in person again, and I looked at up that, thanks to you.

And so now I have an in-person therapist at a price I can afford things. There it is. How's it going? Wonderful. She immediately was like, did you want a gay therapist? And I was like, you're gay? And she's like, yes, I am with a child. And I was like, oh, my God.

And I immediately felt like so much. much closer to her. I've never had a gay therapist. And we, like, she told me and I loved it because I immediately, like, put my guard down. Because there's just, like, things that my previous therapist, who I loved and was great at what he did, just, like, didn't understand, you know, that you can't if you're not a gay person. And so it made me feel really at ease. And I love her so far. And, yeah, I'm so happy.

So have you had any epiphanies or breakthroughs? Well, it was my, like, first real session today. But so far, so good. Wow. There it is. Well, keep us updated. So thanks, everyone for helping me. You're welcome.

Um, wow, well, thank God. For therapy. For all of us. If we're not in it, let's jump in there. That's the two of us. Neither of us has a therapist. We were actually talking about it this week. We were like, we want therapists, but finding one's too hard.

It's like a full-time job to find a therapist. Finding what are they going to do? Finding the right fit is too exhausting. That's a great log line for the sip is neither of us have therapists. Yeah. Hey, so, oh, okay, hold on it. That's not supposed to be there. There we go.

Wow, that was a jump scare. Hey, sorry to interrupt the show, and yes, I know I sound horrible. I haven't heard my voice in a week because I've been sick. Oof, how do I fix this? I guess I'm going to have to take a vocal rest before I go out on tour for my worldwide headlining tour with Olivia Rodriguez. I'm not lying. Oh, you'll see me up there. What am I talking about?

I need more dayquil. Seekek, yes, maybe I'm not on tour with Olivia Rodriguez, but you know who is on tour? Drake, Nikki Minaj, hosier, bad bunny. You heard me right, bad bunnies out there thumping all over the place. Hide and treats. Filling seats. Lots of geeks. What?

Guys, I'm not feeling good. But once I feel better, you know, I'm going to want to go to a concert and you know where I can get the best priced tickets on the whole internet, seat geeks. So thank you so much seat geeks for sponsoring this episode. And I know you guys already know who they are. You've heard about them so many times before. but let me give you a refresh. Seekkeek takes all the tickets across the internet.

I'm talking concerts, comedy show. Anything that needs a ticket, they have it, and they have the best prices. They rank everything from 1 to 10. So you'll see little green dots, and the little green dots mean this is a good price, it's worth it. The little red dots mean, this is overpriced, don't waste your money. And Seekkeek wanted to hook you guys up with a brand new offer for the season. If you use Code Grower 10, you will get 10% off any tickets on Seekkeek.

No matter how many times you bought tickets before on Seekkeek, because sometimes you do that deal where it's like, for your first time, purchase. No, this is no matter what. If you use Grower 10, you will get 10% off. So take out your phone, open that Seek app and use code Grower 10. Take a 10% off of your tickets. So thank you so much to Seekek. And yeah, I'm going to go finish my vocal rest. Get these pipes ready. I know bad bunnies looking for a good hippo, a mediocre walrus. Okay, I'm going to go. See you guys like. Bye. Okay, so I want to play a little game. Now, here's the thing. The first game is

highly requested that we bring this back cards against humanity which we have not played with Lizzie who I'm nervous okay this game could go really offensive really fast so the second game I was like we should try something a little bit different

so I've seen a lot of people talk about this game and I'm not going to lie I've hated on this game secretly I bought it for Sandy for Christmas I love this game we loved it wait do you actually like it it's good I mean you could probably play it like three times

before you're over it you know what i mean it's one of those but it's fun here's the thing i don't laugh at memes so i get really anxious because i don't want to fake laugh so i was like i got some comments like you guys should try it and i was like well maybe this will turn me into a lover and not you know a secret hater because maybe it is a good it's a number one game in the world i like that game you do i do i also have two versions of what do you meme i have this one and i have the mature not safe for work mature mature not safe for work wow and this is a side note i have finally these have been sold out for literally like two years. I finally got the Bert Bees ranch. Ever get the feeling you're being watched online? It's not paranoia. It's data brokers. These companies collect

your personal information, including your browsing habits, where you live, and even who you're related to, and they sell it to the highest bidder. That's where ORA comes in. ORA automatically removes your personal info from data broker sites and then keeps it off. ORA also monitors the dark web, safeguards your devices, alerts you to real-time threats, and more. Start your free trial at aura.com slash control. That's a-U-R-A dot com slash C-O-N-T-R-O-L for your free trial. That's aura.com slash control. Wait, flip-homs.

You couldn't get me excited about most flavored chapsticks, but if Bert's B is putting their name on it, I'm into it. I want to like eat it. This is ranch buffalo sauce, crunchy celery, and fresh carrot. Why does country's celery? This was supposed to be a punishment for if we lose the game. Oh. You guys are all loving it. Yeah. Okay. So we'll just all, we're edging for it. Kiss each other. I want you all to go home so I can have them. Okay. Buffalo. Salary. Oh yeah. Favorite favorite birds. You want carrots? Sure.

Fresh carrot. Oh, you know what? That smells like a dirty belly button. This smells like a matter. Oh, I don't want this on my lips. I changed my mind. I don't want this either. Ew. It'll be on my lips the whole show. Why did Bert Spees do this to themselves? Why did they make it good? I don't want it. You know what this smells like? A matter daddy.

Huh? What? Yeah, a matter daddy. Is this a dad joke? Is this like that? Well, no, it's a matter daddy. What is that? What's what?

A matter. What's matter? Nothing, dude. I'm good. Oh, my. Stupid. It was the commitment to forcing us into the trap for me. I only had that one last time to ask and I was over it.

Thanks, Spencer. Got you. Use it on the date tomorrow. Okay. What do you meme? Okay, I'll go first. So I guess how this game works is I'm going to show a meme and then you guys come up with the responses and then I'll read them out loud and we'll pick the funniest one. And our responses are the small cards.

Yes. Okay. Okay. So the first, what do you meme? We'll do this one. Let me see. Oh, I know him. You do.

And we can use any of these cards? Yes. Whoa. The first card I have was already too good. Do we just read them to you? No. pass it down, I guess, to me. Okay.

These are long, and so, like, to read and process and, like, coordinate them with the photo. I'm not even sure Ryland can read. When you're gargling his balls and suddenly realize you left your straightener on. I wonder who's that one. I wonder who's that one. I heard of me. I'm sorry.

By the way, I'm surprised no one's invented a straightener that just auto turns off in five minutes. Honestly. Right? They're dying. When your gynecologist suggests dating someone with a smaller penis. Nice. It's a good one.

When you just want casual sex, but he comes in with crunchy peanut butter on his nipples. What? He comes in like that? Imagine walking into a room. Like before you sit down. It wasn't crunchy, though. When you catch a glimpse of your homie's uncircumcised dick in the locker room. Are all of these about dicks?

Or vagina. When you accidentally put cocaine in your coffee instead of sugar. That fits that mean. Yeah. But nobody's laughing. Okay. I would say the winner is... It's got to be the only one that was funny.

What was that? something about nipple cream or straightener it's probably the straightener if I had to guess I say the winner when you're gargling his balls and you suddenly realize you left the straightener on that's me nice I feel like I played that really cool no for sure I do I do why not uh okay so this is a gentleman sitting lakeside pondering He's pondering something, everybody. What is he pondering? You tell me.

I love Lizzie. I love this game. Okay. What do you meme? These are the memes. When you shart in public. When she texts you, come fuck. But Tiny House hunters just started.

What? Is that a real show? Oh, yeah. It's good. When the other guy in the threesome calls Dibbs the vagina when it's your turn to give the presentation but you can't stand up until your wiener learns to relax i remember nrb's no reason boners oh oh yeah those were a problem i was always worried i was going to get a boner at the dentist and then they lean you back that's

gone away for you are you still worried about that yes i was always worried about that happening in p e because the shorts anyways continue i would think that the p e short was the best place to get a boner. No, I mean... Because you can flip it up into the waistband, yeah? Very super bad. I clip my boner up into my waistband. It hides it and it feels awesome. The one thing I know about it, it's boners. Refresher, a guy

sitting at a lake pondering life. When your grandma calls you a pussy and then dabs. That sucks. Hey, Shane, remember what I said? I like this game. I take it back. And guys, I hate to say it, but that's it. That's all we had. Okay, I feel like we're all winners for going through this

And just because I feel like it spawned a pretty meaningful conversation When it's your turn to give the presentation But you can't stand up because your wiener needs to relax I would say so Yeah, who is that? That's me Oh, this is your game, whoa I'm enjoying myself

You know what, I'm sorry for shit Listen, some of it is cheesy and dumb But we're having fun Yeah Yeah, we are All right, I'll do this This old guy right here Can you guys see him?

Oh, he's upset He's like, yeah, he looks like he just made Like a mistake or something Well, he's fucking mad, dude, because Taylor's new albums Not the gay anthem he wanted He is wearing Rylan's shirt, I guess. Wow, that's just me in 20 years

Hopefully not No offense to this guy I love him I feel like these are just all chat GBT generated Yeah I think I got one All right, just refresh her.

It's old guy sort of looking forlorn. What a word, bro. Thank you. Fuck yeah. When he offers to give you a massage but ends up just playing with your tities. When you take an extra dose of Viagra and then she cancels. Wow, that's accurate for that photo. It is.

When you're not finished telling her about your day and she starts reaching for your dick. So that's sort of the opposite of the other one. When your girlfriend finds out You motorboated your waitress at Hooters When you text your son To remind him to eat more veggies But veggies auto-corrects to vagina Wow, some great ones here

Is that it? That's all of them Oh, no! If Lizzie wasn't here, it'd be quiet For sure. I don't know why they kill me. I'm going to do the veggies one just because I think I got... No way!

Lazy! Her strategy is just laugh the most, and it's like, all right, that one's good. You deserve it. You deserve it, Lizzie. You do. Thank you so much, you guys. No, of course. This is huge.

You can't be good at everything in life, but sometimes something comes around and you just really strike it out, right? Or hit it out of the park. One of those words. All right, Chris. Um, I like this funny looking, yeah. Let me see. Oh, cat one.

I've seen that one. I don't have a great option. This might be the end of my rate of terror. Oh, no. I know. Wow, do you feel pressure to win now? No, because it's over. Let me see.

I want you to win. I want that for you. I mean, I think I'm winning in the grand scheme of things. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So our options are... So it's this funny looking fellow.

I don't know what it is. It doesn't, I don't know. Anyways, um, so the options are, options are when you drop a Grazias at a Mexican restaurant and feel cultured as fuck when you don't have to wear a mask on Halloween because your face is already fucking frightened wow it's not funny for that one when your daughter asked you to help her put in her first tampon oh god I wonder who's that one no it wasn't that way when you're gargling his balls and suddenly realize you left your straight

iron on. Oh, wait, there's another one of those? How many times did they repeat? Okay. That was already a winner. Oh.

When you finally stand up. I have an opinion. He didn't even read this for it. That was another. I know. I can't remember them all. I don't have that kind of attention. When you finally stand up to the bully,

like your dad said, and then he beats the shit out of you in front of all your class names. Oh. My God. Um, well, all right, so I'm going to go when you don't have to wear a mask on Halloween because your face is already fucking frightened. That's crazy. Is it yours?

Yes. What the fuck? How is this happened? The most impressive thing is she's won every round. And I feel like it's just a kind of wild card almost every time. That's great. I just thought it was appropriate. She played the lottery.

Okay, this is my guy. Okay, he's like a dog. He's high or something. He's, yeah. He's happy. He's having a good day. It's his birthday. I'm like, what is.

Lizzie gonna laugh at. Yeah, this is a tough round. He's really cute. That's the one in cards. Must have to be careful with it. When you're playing Twister with your family and you get your head jammed right in between your mama's tithes.

And it's this face. It's a spooky family. Nice. When she asks you for a dick pick, but you haven't shaved your pubs since Bill Clinton was in office. She is a target audience. She should have done them all.

She's working for that fucking sponsor. What do you mean? When you burn your mouth on coffee and can't enjoy the taste of dick anymore, that's out. Oh. When your big sister's boyfriend calls you a pussy but has no idea that you're a green belt and karate. Oh, I like that. When you ask him to hurt you during sex and he comments on your ginkles, that's so fucked out. I feel like you put that in your sense.

It doesn't go with the picture. It doesn't go with the picture so I can't pick it, but that is so fucked up. Okay. I'm going to say when your big sister's boyfriend calls you a pussy but has no idea to hear a greenbelt and cool. Wow, I won and nice. I feel great. I love this game.

What was the runner up? The runner up was Bill Clinton was in office. Dang it I knew it. Okay. Ryland, wrap this up. That's how I feel. Oh, my God. Okay, lady. Perfect. You have to win. It's not a good one. It's just personal for me.

Is everybody in? Mix it well. When you're about to join the Mile High Club and the pilot turns it on the fast and seatbelt side, that is tragic. This feels like a sip game to me, you know what I mean? Okay. When the neighborhood bully calls your mom on Muppet top tour. A what? You guys really should play this on the sit Because you guys are not loving it

That makes me happy It's Lizzie's laughing more than any That's really getting me When you just called your mom a stupid bitch In an argument But you need help with your homework How the fuck are you laughing at that? I don't know

I'm like baffled on whatever You guys hit a bunch of gnaz before this or something When you go to a fancy restaurant and the portions are smaller than your left testicle. How fucked up? He didn't laugh at mine. You're laughing at the others. You don't love at mine. When he blames the shitty sex on whiskey dick, but you know he's been sober for three years.

That's mean. That's the mean one. I think this is the most accurate, but I think this is the funniest. I'm too sick for this. Oh, my God. The muffin top door. It's the muffin top door. Oh, nice.

Is that you? Yeah, of course. She was. No way. I'm so happy that's over. Oh, my God. It did feel really long. But honestly, I'm happy you guys have so much fun.

No offense to anybody who loves this game because there's so many of you. I mean, literally your husband. Now my husband is part of the club, Sandy. My stomach hurts. Well, there guys go. We're going to take a little break. When we come back, oh my god, we have a song for vagina. This is big and it's a fucking bomb.

Big vagina bop. Save it for what do you mean? Do you guys know anything about vaginas? Yeah, I don't think anybody knows anything about vaginas. No, what? Okay, maybe this is also for the sip. No, say it, say it. No, no, we're just all confused by vaginas here.

Even she with a vagina doesn't quite get the vagina. I don't really know what a vagina is. Because the thing that you can see is not the vagina. Right, apparently. And the thing that the vagina goes to, you know, two is your uterus. Apparently you can have two vaginas your whole life and never know it. So where is the vagina? If the uterus is up top and what's visible is not the vagina. I was confused about vaginas before you said that. Yeah, me too.

I feel like I'm losing brain cells right now. What? Babies come out of them. That's all I care about. Yeah. Some babies don't. There's a clitoris involved. It's involved. All right. I'm going to go. Bye. See you guys in a second. Hey, can you hear me? Does it sound like I'm in the room with you? No. Well, it could be like that if you were wearing your Raycon everyday earbuds. Whoa, sorry, that was probably a jump scare.

Yes, Raycon is sponsored today's episode. Now, you probably heard me talk about Raycon before. You already know they have their everyday earbuds, which are amazing quality and like half the price of, you know, the other guys. But maybe you've been sitting there and you're like, I don't know. I don't know if I need them. I don't know if I want to try them. Or maybe you already have some and you need another pair. Well, now is the perfect time because Raycon has just launched their upgraded version

of the everyday earbuds. Okay, I'm very excited. I'm going to open them right now. Obviously, I have my recons. You guys have seen me used before. I have the rose gold. I have the blue. So they sent me this new pair.

Okay, while I'm opening it, let me tell you more about it. These new versions have active noise cancellation, an ergonomic design, and multi-point connectivity that will let you pair with two devices at once. I don't even know what that means. Two devices, so you could be having your recons

while you're listening to something on your phone, and then you could swap over to your laptop. That's next level. Oh my gosh. Look at those Raycons. Wow, I don't have black ones yet. These are beautiful. Wow, even the little silicone earpiece right there is Matt Black.

That's beautiful. Background me is shook. He saw those new buds and he was like, hoof, I've got to leave for a second. This new updated version also has quick charge function and is weatherproof and obviously sweatproof. But I love my racons. I love how they fit. They never fall out of my ears. I love being able to just tap and go between different functions.

And I love the colors. Like sometimes you just get bored of the same old, same old. And I love that Raycon brings in the style. So if you haven't tried these yet, please check them out. Go to their website. They have way more than just everyday earbuds. They have so many things. But obviously, these are brand new, so that's really exciting.

Also, Raycon offers a 30-day happiness guarantee. So all you have to do is go to buy Raycon.com. slash grower to get 20% off of your Raycon order, plus free shipping. That's right, buyraycon.com slash grower, and you will get 20% off of your order. So check it out. Hopefully you love your acons. And yeah, I'm going to go shove these in my ears and go to isolation mode and disappear. Ah, sounds nice.

All right, enjoy the rest of your show. Bye. Oh, we're rolling already? When did that happen? Lizzie and I have so much fun together and speaking in our own language. We don't even realize you guys are rolling. Okay, yes, we all have very stinky food in front of us, but it's for conspiracy kitchens. That's later.

This is for later. We're just going to hold this for an hour? Yes. Oh, God. Before we get to conspiracy kitchen. We have vagina. And guess what? The queen who brought us such bops as Rylan's Recap.

Does that make me a cuck? Is my husband gay? This woman needs to be on to bigger and better things. She is so talented that, like, I hope somebody huge picks her up. You know me too. Okay, here we go. Viewers are great, I need another. We love it when you send in picks love each other.

And your invasive questions. basic questions makes us want to say V-A-G-I-N-A Vagina You cannot teach what she does in a music class It's so fucking different You're the best I heard it like a month

I've had it for like a month now So I've been singing around the house For all month Feels a great I need another It's so catchy I love how she ends hers as well Yeah We need her to make a disc track

About Kim Kay and ghost write it for T Swift Or no, the other way around. I don't know. Keep doing what you're doing. I love it. Five stars. Yeah.

Okay. So, oh my God. Before we get to emails, huge update from Fat Glenn. Dude, Fat Glenn. Okay, so Fat Glenn. Wait. He proposed? Marissa Yvette Del Campo.

Will you marry me? No. He's a grower. He looks kind of like me. The one who captivated the nation's hearts. Yes. Okay. So fat.

Glenn gave us a big update. Does he want to be described as flat, Fat Glenn? That's his name. With the pH, baby. Oh, yeah. So, first of all, look at this picture. Fat Glenn and his wife, she said, yeah. And was it really?

Like, there was no preface other than they sat down to watch the podcast? I think, well, he sent a video, so let's see. Oh, epic. I love them. They're so cute. Hi, guys. Thank you so much for being a part of this special day for us. Of course, I said yes.

I'm sorry there's no reaction video. I definitely would have asked questions if he would have tried to set up a camera or anything but there's definitely tears and it was awesome. I couldn't have asked for anything better, to be honest. It was such a special moment. I had her do a tattoo to commemorate the special memory.

I'll send some pictures over to you guys so y'all can check it out. But we just want to say thank you so much from Mr. Mrs. Fat Glenn. Oh, yeah, and baby fat. Oh, my God. Yes! Oh, my God, I'm pregnant!

Oh, my God. No, wow. No, what? My nipples are so hard right now. They're pregnant. No. There's a baby fat Glenn. Oh, my, fat baby.

I just love how she took his IG name. First of all, the way that they held onto that and then just dropped it as they said goodbye was iconic. Oh, my God. Wow. This show is bringing people together. Yes. Are you fucking kidding me? Come on.

Holy shit. So many podcast babies. So many. So many. You guys are repopulating the world. We are. So she gave him, I guess she's a tattoo artist, which is iconic. She gave him a tattoo to commemorate the moment.

And it's our conspiracy pig logo. It's so good. First of all, I'm not a tattoo person, but I was like, I want that. That's incredible. It looks so cool. It looks like it's stitched in. Yeah, it looks like embroidered. And not to like just take your lifelong tattoo and turn it into merch, but I want to.

Imagine that on a hoodie I don't know Wow it's so cute Whenever somebody's like I got a tattoo of something related I always feel like Oh I don't know Like you're gonna regret it

I don't know But this is iconic And they said that To commemorate the most Happy Day of their life That's so sweet So that is iconic So for the podcast we should all get it

Seems a little culty Matching podcast tattoo If I ever get a tattoo though I'm going to her Holy shit Dude they hit us with the fucking trifecta. They did. She said yes, they're pregnant. He got a tattoo.

What's next to me? She's trying to one-up C-C. I know. We C-C here. I was dumb. Edit it. Leave it in. This is from Cash Urb. Hey, Shane, I'm finally sending this in for my wife because we've been too nervous

to send it. But we got married in Las Vegas back in October. But we wanted to show you that we wore the conspiracy merch. I was down to wear the grower merch, but she thought our families would think it was weird. And then here is pictures of them at the altar in Vegas. We are bringing people together. We are.

And I'll say, this guy probably has the coolest name I've ever seen in my life. Cash herb. Dude, shout out to your mom and dad for naming you that. Very cool. I thought this one was really cute. This is from Mariah. She said, hey, shame, and everyone. My fiancee just had his 23rd birthday, and I just had to get him the grower sweatshirt.

He absolutely loves it and is confidently wearing it. He looks confident. He looks confident. Fuck yeah. Oh yeah, dude. I love that. This segment really does make this feel like a community. Yeah.

Yeah. We need to do a live episode. It's like my nightmare, but I feel like we have to do it. And I'm kidding the girl to perform all the songs. Oh my gosh. Doing that live would be insane. I know. Okay, this is from Kami and Cece.

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And she said they're best friends from Honduras. We have been watching you forever. I've been watching since I was nine, and she's been watching since she was 12. She gifted me with a grower hoodie for Christmas. Here's pictures of us drunk off our asses as we try to imitate Maddie from Euphoria. I haven't seen it as.

I don't know what that means. But look at them drunk in the bathroom and their grower hoodie. I just love that women are rocking it. I know. The fact that we are empowering what to a lot of men is a huge self-conscious issue for them.

I'm just, I'm gonna cry a little bit. I'm gonna cry a little bit. But the fact that we're doing that really means a lot to me, personally it's great so you know yeah you're right yeah yeah growers are great i'd like another no you have one we're we're done you need more you have a good a good grower all you need the growth is strong with this one let's do some voicemails uh okay so these are all themed to first date because you know obviously we had spent for a big dating show so let's listen to some

first date horror stories hi everyone I'm Aliana Shane, I've been watching you since I was literally like eight. I'm going to be 21 this year. But I'm calling in to tell you guys about my first worst date story, but it wasn't exactly a first date. Am I the asshole for not asking how tall this guy was before he came to picking up at my house? And when I saw how short he was in person, I told him I couldn't go anymore.

We went on Tinder and it was supposed to go. We were supposed to go minigolfing. But when he gained literally zero height after getting out of his car, I just called. Couldn't, so, yeah, I'm on the assholes. Okay, your first hint should have been minigolf. Yeah, I was going to say. I love minigol. So, what was the question?

Is she an asshole for not asking how tall? No, you're an asshole for calling it off once you saw that he was short a little bit, you know, because you could have missed out on an opportunity to make a really good friend. And, I mean, the guy is very tiny, and he offered you out to minigolf. I'd have to imagine there's a sense of humor there. Also, you know, like, there has to be. I don't understand. Okay, I'm not a woman, so I don't know.

I'm not a straight woman. Lizzie, okay. We differ on this. I don't understand. I don't understand the whole, like, short guy girls are like, I don't want to show. I don't, I don't get it because I don't care about, but I'm also a man, so it doesn't matter. But Lizzie, as a woman, if a guy is short, is that to you a turnoff or? No.

I've dated guys who are my size, and my husband is much larger. And I personally prefer a much larger man, but I'm not sure if it's because I now hate my axes or if it's because I have a preference physically. Okay, what if you want to wear hills on a night out and the guy's then shorter than you? Yeah, what's the short answer? And do you not feel like? I think Tiny Kings are coming back. A lot of, a lot of, I've noticed a lot of tall women marrying short men.

She's very in with all the celebrity couples where the guys like five inches shorter than the women. Every famous man is short. I will say, though, this woman, you are the asshole. Definitely you're an asshole lady. If height is important to you, you either A should have asked. or Spencer, you're on dating apps. Is your height on your profile? It is because I'm over six feet.

So you can either have your height or not. Yeah, you can either have it, you can have it or not. How tall are you? I'm like six feet. Oh, I thought he's five or less. Well, with shoes, I'm six one, but like barefoot I'm six feet. That story did feel mean, though. She's not, she loves our podcast.

So we are going to enable her and say that it's not going to right thing. I appreciate somebody that's like, we're not, I'm not going to waste you. your time. I'm not going to waste my time. This isn't going to work. But I'm saying your lesson learned is if heights important to you next time you say, how tall are you before this evening? I just think that she probably likes us because of our honesty. And she asked us a very direct question. I think we gave her a direct answer. So long story short, I think she's an asshole in this way. But you can learn from it and we're here to make you a better person. Listen, I think she's missing out because I think that short straight men are better lovers.

And they typically have huge penises. They do. The short guys have big games and are better lovers. Little people big wieners. That has to be a porno. Little people big dick. Yeah. Okay. Let's do another one.

I know I've already loved a voice now with the story, but y'all put on the story about first dates. I got a guy to come over. It was late. He was coming off of being drunk. Like, he wasn't drunk already, but he was, like, he had just been, like, going out the night before. Anyway, he comes to my place. Um, he, we need to mess around. We don't have sex, but we end up falling asleep together.

Aw. Then I'm like, half asleep when I realized he's getting up. And I'm like, oh, he's just going to the bathroom. And my bathroom's right next to my bed. And he goes to my bathroom and I realize he didn't set the door and I'm going, okay. So then I'm figuring him pee and I'm like, get gross. He's peeing the door open. But maybe he's half asleep, forgets where he is.

I don't know. Then I hear. and like some serious grunting sounds and I realized before I this man is taking an actual nasty shit with the door open and I'm in my bed pretending to be asleep dying

because what man in his right mind takes a shit with the door open anyways I've been severely traumatized since oh honey I think it's sweet what I'm just comfortable yeah he's comfortable comfortable that's disgusting

he's open Okay, you know? I think that's different if you were forever. Oh, please. You poop with the door open? I do anything anywhere. I think if they'd been married for a long time, that makes sense. But like, right away, like, that's kind of weird.

Right away. She was sleeping. Was she? This smells. If I was the guy, I would close the door, not for the sounds, but for the, I wouldn't want it to like wake her up and then. Yeah, no. Listen, I'm not going to stand up for him.

That's disgusting. But I was trying to find the positive. Maybe he felt comfortable. with her? I think, yeah. That just means you must be a really nice woman that made him feel good about himself. Red flag city.

Kick him to the curb. No matter how clean he was after the fact, we're done. Okay. Let's do one more. Hey, Shane. So I saw on Instagram that you guys wanted to hear like crazy first date stories.

And I have one from a couple years ago. I had literally just gotten out of a long distance relationship and he had moved on within like a week. So I got on a dating app and I'm like, okay, I'm going to do this thing. So I found the cute guy, whatever, so I show up to his house, or so I thought. And the guy that comes out was a completely different guy. It looked nothing like the pictures.

And he told that he was going to make me dinner, so we needed to go to Walmart and get everything. So we get to Walmart, get ready to get out. And before we get out, he's like, oh, yeah, so actually we're not buying food. I just needed to get out of the house until my grandpa falls asleep, who's blind and deaf, Before we can go in and do anything And then He tried to make out with me So I put him in the face

And that was that And I dropped him off And almost ran him over with my car Trying to get him out But yeah, that was that Never did that again That's it Fine

What again? That felt like a madlib What? So you got catfish by a guy That came out of his house Took you to Walmart So is deaf and blind Why would you have to hide from someone who's deaf and blind?

That's so true. Right? Yeah. That doesn't make any sense. You could be right in front of them butt naked, having sex, and they can't hear or see you. Also, why did she try to murder him with their car? Right. Why did it get so violent? Why are our viewers so violent and angry?

We love them. You did great. We love you. At least you didn't stop because he was short. But yeah, we love you. That is weird. But if I were you, I would have been out when he asked me to go to Walmart, I would have said, I got to go. I just had more questions.

Like when the kiss happened, what happened? Was it aggressive? Why did you hit? Like, was it, did you just try to, I have questions. Viewers are great. I need another. We love it when you send in picks of each other. And your invasive questions makes us want to say, V-A-G-I-N-A.

Vagina. Oh, my gosh. Well, we're going to take a quick little break. We come back. Spiracy, stay with us. Okay, hold on. I know, I know. I'm interrupting the show.

This is so annoying. But what if I were to tell you that by me interrupting the show, you could be interrupting your wallet by getting more money? That did not make sense. You know, it kind of makes sense. You know what?

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See terms at casino. Dottings.com slash promos. Restrictions apply. So thank you so much, draft kings, casino, for sponsoring the show. And I will see you guys later. Oh, my God. I'm going to have no voice. This is such a tragedy to the music industry. What are they going to do?

Oh, it's back. Okay, bye. Okay, welcome back. This one I'm so excited about. So if you guys remember a few months ago, oh my God, a year ago, yikes, time goes really fast. We did a video about white labeling and all these companies that are like selling the fake version of the expensive thing. And Walmart was a huge contributor of that, right? Like their best value brand is actually, usually the real thing.

And they just put the best value label on it and sell it for cheap. So, I heard a rumor that Walmart, for years, like this isn't new. For years, they've been doing this with famous fast food sauces, chick filet sauce, Raising cane sauce, Big Mac sauce. Walmart has their own fake knockoff Big Mac sauce, Chick-Blay, Raising Cains, in the store. And the theory is that it is the same sauces, the same manufacturer. And these fast food places are just double dipping. What did the plan that? That was good.

Thank you. So we have plates with all the sauces. And, oops, I fucked it up. And Spencer has the key, so he knows which is which. So we're all going to use our McDonald's fries. And we're going to, not sponsored. So first, the sauce on the far left, the top one and the bottom one, these are Big Mac sauces. But we don't know which one is real and which one is fake.

Hold it with the writing on the box. I never even tried it in my life. So top, it's so good. That's big Mac. sauce for sure. I hate it. What's wrong with you? Okay, these to me taste very, very similar, but I think the bottom one's a lot more mayo-y. Which one do you think is the real Big Mac sauce? The top. The top A? I would guess A though. The top one's making me want in and out. Chris? I would guess A as well. You think the top A is more delicious. A is

more delicious. And that's a matter of fact. All right. Well, Team B is correct. A is the Walmart brand sauce. You're getting you. Top one is a Walmart. Go to Walmart. Is Big Mac sauce. Go, I bet it's cheaper. It's like $2.

These sauces are literally all a bottle is $2. I was buying them. I was like, oh my God. Like the total was like $6.50 for everything. The second one, top and bottom, we don't know which one is real or not, but these are Chick-fil-A sauce. I know this sauce very well. They look, these, this one looks the most similar, I would say.

These look literally identical. There's no change to me. I've only had Polynesian sauce from there. Is this actually considered just chick-fil-a sauce? Yeah. Okay. The top one is definitely Chick-fil-A. Oh, they taste the same. They do taste the same.

They do. Oh, my God. One of these is all that. And I feel like Chick-fil-A sauce is so secret. Like, it's such a secret of thing. Wait, is one really off-brand? Yeah. I don't know that it can taste the difference.

I can't taste a difference. The color is exact. Holy shit. We should look on the bottles and see where they're manufactured. I think these are the same thing. These ones, the first ones were definitely different. These ones are exact. I literally don't know.

I think A is Chick-fil-A. What is it? Like barbecue sauce? Is that the vibe? I think it's a mix of like, they say, you know, they say like, it's like honey mustard barbecue. It's supposed to be a lot of sauces all in one, I think. Am I raising cakes? Cool.

I literally have no idea. Okay. I'm gonna guess. Any guesses? A? A. I'll say B just to be different. A is right. The top A is the real chickboy sauce. The bottom is fake, but you would never know.

I would never know. It's the same thing. But we all said A, so there must be something. What's the ripoff called, Spencer? Do you know? I think it's just chicken sauce. Yeah, it's like chicken, chicken dipping sauce. sauce. That's kind of yucky. They're very close. Yeah, the Big Mac was called burger dipping sauce. Final one. Top and bottom, one of them is raisin canes and one of them's a knockoff. They are

totally different. They literally don't look at the same at all. Ew, they're gross. The top one tastes like ranch almost. I don't know, kind of. Ew, they're gross. It's like vinegar-y to me. I hate that. Is that what everyone's getting vinegar? I'm going to say bee is real because it's darker, and that's the color that I remember. I'm going to go be as well. I'm going to say B because I like it better. I remembered it being lighter. I'm going to go with A. Well, it is B. The darker one is correct. The other one tastes disgusting to me. I agree. It's called Zesty Ranch. Well, I got every single one wrong. Well, you guys go. That is us testing sauces. If you have any other knockoff things from Walmart that you want us to test, let us know in the comments because I'm sure

they're doing this with so much more. Okay, well, speaking of fast food, so this isn't a theory. It's just something that pissed me off. So AI, we already know it's taken over. It's fucking up so many people's lives, taking so many jobs. This, to me, I saw a lot of comments on this being like, I love this idea, which I get why, but this pissed me off. Welcome to Wendy. What would you like? Can I have a chocolate frosty? Which size for the chocolate fasty? Medium.

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Now listen, I get the positives, which is nobody just yelled at me and said, is that all? Is that it? What else? Nobody judged me, so that was nice. I get that there's no anxiety anymore because you're talking to a robot. But imagine when you have a problem or you have a modification. I can't get it. You're like, give me a human.

It's like the self-checkout at grocery stores. I know that's like 20 years old, but that shit ruined my life. I fucking hate it. It's so annoying. It's always beeping at me and it's always bringing someone over. So this is so sad to me. I hate it. I wonder if you could just yell, representative.

Oh. Zero. Representative. You can tell a lot about a person, by the way, they scream representative. I can talk in full sentences. So scary. So we talked about this a few episodes ago, and I honestly didn't think that this would happen, and it fucking did. Spencer showed me this.

So remember how we were talking about the Dune popcorn bucket, how it looked like a fleshlight? Yeah, and, you know, they did it on purpose to get everybody talking. A bucket bucket. Yes. Oh, my God. Yes. So Deadpool and Wolverine is coming out, and these are the popcorn buckets they released. Oh, no.

Is this official? Yeah, it's real. And it looks like you shove your dick. No. If I had a dick, I'd shove it in. I want to. I don't understand. That's crazy, right?

Well, also, like, isn't that bad at Deadpool? That is so on brand for Deadpool. Yeah. How's it practical? Are you, like, sitting in the movie theater seat, and you're holding it here and you're shaking it. It seems convenient. I do like the idea of a closed apparatus,

because it does look like for the cockhole, you can actually, like, Well, there's a piece that screws on, right, for the cockle, but you can put butter in there and just give it a shake. You just sold me. Why pack? Okay. This next theory is from Sheehan. Okay, so I saw this years ago.

So you guys remember the whole Sheehan debacle where people in the warehouse supposedly, like the, what's it called? Sweatshop. Were writing, like, Help Me in the labels. Yeah. But I think Sheen came out and said it was a hoax. I don't really know. But in case you need a refresher. that lady's need your help help me oh that's so scary okay so i think shean came out and said that

i have dental pain very specific i like it so shean they had another controversy recently and this one isn't even their fault so let me just show you imagine my surprise when i was hanging up my set my a hundred-a-older set i love this outfit I just found out it was from Sheehan. It's from Sheehan. Jaded London. Oh, cute. Tag.

Sheean. Sheean. Okay. So, I actually have known about this for a while. We, like, eight years ago, filmed a video. Do you remember that? Yeah. So this has been happening for a long time, which is crazy.

So if you bought clothes from, like, you know, an independent, you know, but not to say that they're all like this, but if you've bought them, I've been tricked by it, too. If you've bought them from, like, an independent store or Etsy or one of these shops, chances are it's she and chances are they just like ripped off the tag and stapled theirs on it which is crazy 100% she I don't know another way that it would be you know it's got to be sheen that's that's what a boutique is anyway like in a small town there's a boutique these are buyers they go and they buy these you know high end products and they sell them in their store but it's the same idea yeah just a little bit more industrious ladies check out my link

okay this brings me to my next thing so this is something I find so fascinating. I saw a video by a YouTuber named the Wall Street Millennial. Have you guys ever seen ads for game apps that look really fun, like really random and elaborate? Like let me, for example, show you one. I saw this one specifically and I was so excited to download it. Around 2020, a few clever game publishers thought of a new marketing strategy to help themselves stand out. The most prominent one was the maker of a game called homescapes. They blanketed social media on YouTube with ads showing a guy trapped somewhere and you have to pull out pins in a certain order to save him.

Okay, so have you seen any of those ads? Yes. Yes, this happened to me and I'm so angry. Well, keep watching. It's one of those, see how smart you are, puzzle type of games. The marketing campaign was a huge success, and to date, the game has garnered more than 100 million downloads. But when you download the game and start playing, you'll see that it's actually a candy

crush rip off. It made me so mad. First of all, how is it not illegal that they're doing this? Because it's literally fake. It's false advertisement. It's false advertisement, but here's what it is. So this was so dark and crazy to me. So these types of apps, right, like the Candy Crusher rip-offs, like all these things, right?

So most of them are free, but they have add-ons where you can like, you know, spend money during the game, you know, quarter here, dollar here, whatever. And I think it's like 99.9 or whatever percent of people don't spend money and they delete the app or they download it and they're like, this is fake and they leave. But there's a tiny, tiny, tiny 0.07 or something percent of people that get addicted, like really addicted and they spend thousands of dollars, right? The companies that create these games have a name for those people. They call them whales. Oh, yeah. So they're called whales. And when they do these ads, these fake ads, they call it whale hunting.

Oh. Because they know that a tiny percent of people are going to get addicted. That is wild. And with 100 million downloads, it's even a small percentage of that. Look, if it's free, you're the product. Y'all's got to remember that. I'm just saying, well, because like, wait. my entire life. Whale is a term used in sales. Like you want to get a whale. If you're selling

anything, the bigger buyers are called whales. So they're looking at you like your, you know, you're the sale. You're the product. Whoa. Why is it whale? Because it's huge. It's like the mother load, you know? Because if you go fishing. Or is it like Moby Dick. No, it's just because it's the big, it's literally the biggest animal on the planet is a blue whale. So you want to catch the whale. You know what I mean? Well, it's better than catching little. fish. Well, there was an article, and it was confessions of a whale or something like that. They know they're the whale.

Yeah, and a guy, he said that he, like, spent his family's, like, money. And this one kid who had his mom's credit card, he was a whale, like a little whale, and he spent $65,000 of his family's life fund savings and, like, bankrupted them over these stupid

games. Oh, my God. Is that crazy? Throw your phone away. You're the type of person downloaded these. Okay, this next one is quick, but Spencer, you told me about one involving Costco that fucking shook me. Oh, yeah, yeah. Biches be loving Costco. No, Costco's fine.

I'm bitches. It's not, yeah. It's more like a, like, it's more in the line of like the cereal boxes looking down at us. It's like, you know when you go into Costco, all the electronics and the like wicked expensive stuff is right at the front? Oh, yeah. So they do that because they know the majority people are going to pass up on it, but they'll be like, oh, maybe I'll get it. Maybe not. But they'll be like, no, no, I don't want to spend all that money.

And so the rest of the time they're in the store, they're like, oh, I can spend all the, Like, they feel like free to spend all the money because they're like, oh, I didn't buy that expensive thing. I'll treat myself. I'll treat myself. Whoa. That's misogynistic as fuck because that is some girl math and it gets me every time. It's so true. I'm the whale.

They also have like diamonds and jewelry. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. It's all different. Do you think that guys that get like addicted to spending money on like cam girls are called sperm whales? Yeah, probably. Probably, right? Yeah, yeah.

Um, okay, Lizzie. Uh-oh. Lizard. Yes. Lizard? I feel bullied. Okay, lizard. Has no one ever called you lizard?

Yeah, it's offensive. Oh. I didn't know. And not from a fellow redhead. I'm literally so triggered right now. Not by somebody who's in the community. Good. Use the energy.

Use that energy. Okay. So we had two theories. I like it. And one from Jared. Okay. First, we're going to start with Lizzie's. So Lizzie, you have a theory.

that you wanted to break down for us. What is it? I'm not super well versed in this, but I'm not well versed in anything. So I'm going to talk about it like an expert anyway. Okay. There's this like one viral thing on TikTok that I saw where Hansel and Gretel is actually a cautionary tale

because there was a famine in Germany at the time that the story was written that was so, so bad that allegedly families started eating children. And in an effort to protect them, they would send them out into the woods one day and hope that they could survive without being consumed. Was that a German fact? Oh my God.

Sorry, I didn't mean to step on your turf. I'm not familiar with the story of Hansel and Gretel, I don't think. Me either. So it's the woman who like two kids come over and then she cooks them. They follow like a trail of like breadcrumbs to her house, I think. Isn't she a witch? I believe so, yes. Well, not all witches are bad.

Right. Yeah. And neither are all those. I saw, and this isn't just me trying to get Arianna in the thumbnail. Who, are you talking about Ariana Grande? Oh my god you know her now. Yeah, from this. Did you like listen to her album?

No. So she, there's like a bunch of things going on online right now because she's talking about being a witch. And she's like, yeah, I'm a witch. Because she's playing one. No, not just that. Literally, she's like, I'm a witch. Yeah. There's like clips of it.

I would put, and the crazy thing is. if Ariana is saying that, I feel like we'll all believe her. I believe her. I'm sure she is. What does that mean? Well, I have not to be super weird, but, so this is going to make me sound crazy, but I read a book on summoning demons. And it wasn't like... Hopefully not while you were pregnant.

No, it's pre-pregnancy. Okay, good. No, but there's a bunch of different schools of thoughts on all these things, but yeah. Listen, I don't want beef with the witches. The witches are watching our podcast. Love you guys. You know, do you guys know about the Salem witch trials? Yeah.

They theorized that the reason that this happened is because the bread rye had gone bad and started creating like an active LSD molecule within the bread. And people were eating bread and tripping out and they were seeing things and they just called people witches and they all kind of band together and killed them. Whoa. Yeah. Arianna would never. Never. Never. Back in the day, people were killing women and calling them witches over using forks because they.

they looked like the three-pronged saber of the devil. Because they were on acid. Yeah. Well, moral of the story, Ariane is in the phone mail guy. Yay! We did it. Come on the show, please. You think she's listening?

No. But maybe. She might be. She might be. I love Ari. Okay. Jared. You said you have a theory that's going to shake us.

I do. Give it to us. And it actually ties in very well with a lot of stuff that you said earlier about getting mad after you're looking at stuff online, that the post has like a thousand likes and all of this. But have you guys ever heard of DARPA? No. So DARPA is the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency,

and they're responsible for trying to figure out ways that they could implement new technologies into, like, the military and things of that nature. So they're the people in the 50s that started working on the Internet because they wanted to find a way to basically track people's thoughts, everything about them. and like in the early 2000s they started something called life log and the goal was to figure out human patterns what they like what they want to watch what they want to listen to patterns on how they interact and they said it was so they could profile people better they want to know like everything about you and what you're thinking but it stopped and got shut down in 2004 and guess what came out the next day what Facebook so life log stopped and then Facebook started it's pretty crazy to think about. But I looked into it and it was kind of, you know, like a hot sauce that when you eat it, it doesn't burn at first and then it really settles. That's kind of what this theory did

to me. It didn't really hit me at first, but then the more I researched it, it talks about how these bots and the way that they want to keep you on websites is by getting you all riled up and emotional and to keep you engaged. Like people don't get really happy and then stay on the internet. It's usually because they're pissed off. They're arguing with each other. So they have bots that are designed just to go create conflict within the comment sections because that's how they know people are going to stay engaged because they're pissed off about it. You know what I mean? Listen, I'm not on Facebook, but everybody I know who is on Facebook spends all their time fighting.

I had to delete my Facebook because all I did is get into stupid fucking arguments with people. I mean, that's why next door is popular. That's why the news is popular. They just want to get people pissed off and keep them pissed off. And the overall thing that they're trying to do is make people more like sheep. And then if you just stay mad and you argue with each other, it weakens us. And it just makes us all irritated with each other. And we can't really unite.

So, I mean, it seems to be that that might be the main goal of these social network websites. It's kind of crazy to think that most technology is just designed to trap you and to create a world that you live in to make you mad. So you spend all your money to be happier and you'll never achieve full happiness. Whoa. Yep. Wow. You are trapping bombs. Go give somebody a hug.

Yes. Yeah, just be a better person. Get off the internet. Stop fish bumping. Keep watching on podcast. No, no, no. How would you know that you needed to give someone to hug unless you watch this podcast? I'm just saying, we're here for you.

Nobody would ever hug anyone without this podcast. Well, that was amazing. Thank you. Speaking of things that make me angry and make me feel trapped. Are you fucking kidding? It's time for a recap. You are so blessed. Like camera action, Ryland's recap is about to happen.

Ryland's recap. Today's episode of the Shane Dawson podcast, we've learned to all short guys have huge dicks. And Chris is in therapy. Yay! And Shane's sick? Shane's sick. Oh, you guys are fighting over Kim and Taylor. Who would have thought the two best friends in the room would be fighting over Taylor Swift,

a woman we love so much because we disagree on her feud about Kim Kardashian. Shit, vagina got a theme song. Oh my God. This bitch needs a race. Whoever is singing the vagina song and many others on the Shane Dosson podcast needs to leave us for bigger and better things. No, what? Oh, I mean, she's so great. I love her so much.

I want to meet her. Honestly, I think I'd be starstruck. Shitting with the door open is bad. Oh, my God. If you shit with the door open, you should just die. I was going to say something even worse and then I sent to myself for the internet. Wow, you're not letting your co-host say anything. I'm so scared.

And this is a safe space, lizard. Oh, I felt that one. You're a heat rock. Oh, Lizzie won the cards. Oh, in the biggest news, Lizard Gordon goes home with meme champion of the world. If there isn't an award, there needs to be. Yeah, there does.

Oh, yeah. What do you want for the wind? Maybe a basking life. In horrible news, the highly anticipated birds. Lizards need those. I try once, and you fucking call me lizard over my attempt. Yes. Liz's getting a pipe back. Ginger on ginger crime.

He said you need a basking lamp. It just hit. He said you need a basking lamp. Riley gets a casino. grew up with lizards. I had Nguana growing up. His name was Spike. He was really cute,

and it was only unfun when he would whip you with his towel. Okay, get all your sauces at Walmart. No need to overpay for overpriced sauces at Chick-fil-A, McDonald's, and Raising Cains. They're trash anyways.

But don't take your date there because she'll punch you in the face and run you over. Oh, stick your... Oh, no. If you've been looking for a place to stick your dick, go see the movies.

Once Deadpool comes out. Let's see the movies. Go see the movie. Oh, wait. Is it not out? No, you were close. Is it not? Lizzie.

It was almost a home run. Just ticking it. Fat Glenn is married and pregnant. Oh, my gosh. That was the biggest bombshell of the century. The pregnancy announced. Right. Yeah. The sip.

Go see the sip. Oh, my God. If you're looking for something to watch, girls, the sip is on every Wednesday. You can search it on YouTube. and it's just a whole lot more of us fighting and Chris is there too. Hi, if you're looking for some real toxicity, check out our comment section. Yeah, speaking of bots, I hope they are bots the way that they are meeting.

I'm sure they are now and I'll sleep much better tonight. Dude, they got AI at the drive-thru. Oh, yeah. That is fucked up. AI is hitting drive-thrus everywhere and on one hand, it's great to not be held. Is that it? Anything else? Are you done? But we're sad that jobs are being taken away, and I'm sure the first time I have a modification,

it will be devastating. I wasn't listening. You look so gay. You trust me. I didn't tell you to tuck your shirt into your short shorts. This has to do with my gas. It makes me feel better. Your gas is alleviated by tucking your shirt and you don't understand.

You're only growing a penis. You don't have one. All right, everybody. I hope you enjoyed today's episode of the Shade Dawson podcast. Make sure you're following all of us. on social media and you're shopping that Shane Dawson merch. We've got to feed everyone. What if the Shane Dawson merch is actually Sheehan?

Don't check the tags. The Sheehan, the Shee and Dawson podcast. Yes! That's my new channel, Shee and Dawson podcast. There it is. She's me read the transcript of every former episode by myself. All right, everyone's links are in the description section below. Make sure you check out our podcast, the sip every single

Wednesday, and we'll see you right here two weeks in two weeks on the Shane Tawson podcast next time. Good man. Yeah. Wow. That was it. That was amazing. Thank you.

You're welcome. Oh, there you guys go. That was a lot. I'm going to go pass out and wake up in three days. And thank you guys for postponing this due to my sickness. But bringing so much health, I don't know. Laughter is the best medicine. Laughter is the best medicine.

It seems like Lizzie and I were the only one. laughing. We're pretty healthy. All right, we're going to go see you guys next time. I'll be enjoying whatever that this while. See guys later. Bye. Hi, I'm Danny L'Priori.

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