The Shane Dawson Podcast - STARBUCKS CONSPIRACY THEORIES! and WALMART IS HIDING SOMETHING...

Episode Date: February 1, 2026

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Bet mode activated. The Scorebet app here with trusted stats and real-time sports news. Yeah, hey, who should I take in the Boston game? Well, statistically speaking. Nah, no more statistically speaking. I want hot takes. I want knee-jerk reactions. That's not really what I do. Is that because you don't have any knees?

Or... The score bet. Trusted sports content, seamless sports betting. Download today. 19 plus, Ontario only. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or the gambling of someone close to you, please go to conicsonterio.ca. So this is actually from a document that Starbucks gave their employees.

Can I show this? Yeah, yeah, because this is like a public article. Public? So this is what they specifically say you have to do. Hey, welcome back to whatever the hell this is. It's 2016 edition. I'm so over it. I'm so, listen, it's fun.

I love that everybody wants to go back 10 years ago. Although I remember back in 2016, everybody's like, This is the worst year ever. Now everybody's like, take me back. I don't know. 2016 was great for us. I love 2016. Every year is the worst year ever, I feel like.

You know, you go on social media. It's when we got our first dog. Oh, I know. It was a big year. It was when you took off your shirt and danced to work from home by Fifth Harmony on my front porch. I had my carousel, carousel prepared and then I left it in the drafts. Why? It's a lot of like me being like shirtless and cringy.

What were you guys doing in 2016? Who even remembers? I think we were... What did we do? Were you still in high school, Spencer? Yeah. Oh, no. His freshman year?

No, I was in a junior year or senior year? Oh, my God. Take us back. Yeah. What was that like? No, I was like, looking at the pictures, like, we do not need to open that box. Dark days, dark days.

What was your, like, high school? Who were you in high school? What was your clique? I don't know if I really had a click. I don't know. I would hang out with a lot of things. like ski bros. I'm starting to remember, didn't you say you used to wear a fedora

and like a pirate hat? Okay, that was middle school. That was middle school. Those are really, we don't need to come back to that. I know. That was the group I moved away from. The Pirates of the Caribbean. Yeah, the suit every day type click.

We moved on from that. But we respect people who do that. I don't know why I picture you had like longer hair in high school. And then you know, like every high school movie montage where it's like the wind is blowing here. as you walk through the doors, you know? I see it. You kind of have like a young Brendan Frazier vibe.

Oh, that's what everyone said. But like, there's maybe two other people that I've seen where I feel like you kind of give their vibe too. I remember when we were watching Dawson's Creek, which side note, you guys are now binging Dawson's Creek again. Yes. Which is one of the best shows ever made. Right?

If the second watch, you kind of see where things maybe aren't, you know, the best. But it's still entertaining and nostalgic. Oh, it's so good. It's fun to watch. But every character looks like Spencer. Like, doesn't Spencer look like he's from the 90s? Like a Dawson-Pacey hybrid? Yes.

That could be it. That is it. Wow. He's giving me Joey eyes. Yeah. What do I look like? Comment down below, guys. Let us know.

Thumbs up the ones you agree with. Okay. Well, speaking of things that are uncomfortable. I felt wasn't uncomfortable. Why are you looking at me? I have no transition for this. Guys, we have a game that we're going to be. be playing through this whole episode and I'm very excited about it.

It feels very like traitors to me, like killing in plain sight. So here's the game. Spencer came up with this. Well, do you want to explain the game? Yeah, you have to explain it like you're the host of traders. And if you haven't seen it, he wears a lot of flamboyant clothes. And he talks like this. You haven't seen traitors?

No, I know. I need to watch it. Everyone says it's really good. Anyway, today we'll be playing a game of sneaking in. We don't really have a name for it. Sitting on a secret. Sitting on a secret. That's what they say about drag queens

because they tuck their penises and then it goes to their butts and they're sitting on a secret. And they're sitting on a secret. Oh. Oh my God, you got me with that one. And it's not much of a secret. So everyone is going to get three secret little words.

Their words are going to have to be slipped into conversation at some point during this episode. But the trick is if somebody guesses the word, You lose a point, I guess. You lose a point. The person with the least amount of points has to... Do a naked lap. I don't know.

What? We don't have a punishment yet. Anyway, but if you guess correctly, you get a point. But if you guess incorrectly, maybe you lose a point. We haven't worked out all the kinks yet. Okay, I'm going to be texting everyone your words right now. Do not... I'm nervous.

I got another fucking text from Jenny Craig. All right, Chris is throwing it out there. They're coming for me. I don't know what's happening. And do you have to get all three to win? Yep. First person to get all three. Although I do love,

I do love, shout out. Okay, and everyone has their words. I almost farted. I was so shocked. Shane actually sent me my words. That was a word. Tricked you. Oh, that's good.

Trying to be obvious that I had one. That was good. No, I'm not going to give it away like that easily. You're all smiling. You're all sneered at him. This makes everyone so suspicious. I know. Every time somebody's telling a story. Yeah, and we're going to interrupt so many times.

Okay, well, yeah, let's, uh, I'm scared. Okay, some of our words might be on the screen now. Oh, my God. Can you believe this one? And some of us might have already said one of our words. What? Sitting on a secret. Okay.

Wait, what was this dessert debacle that I was hearing about earlier? Oh, yes, I wrote that down because you guys were fighting during the break. Is debacle one of your words? No, it's not actually one of my words. That's just a word. By the way, I started this game because Jared will often say a word. I'm like, wow, I don't think many people use that word. Yeah, perfect.

You're going to be the hardest one, I think. This is a good game concept. Yeah. Okay, yeah, I wrote this down because before the show, you guys were, like, fighting about Sonic, and then something about a drive-through, and then Ryanlin was like, save for the podcast. What happened?

What didn't happen? Let me tell you. Oh, my goodness. So he went into Josh Whitree for a few days, and I don't know why, but I was craving like chili cheese tater tots and... It's not a word.

It's just going to ruin every story. I don't know, but I think the winner should get chili cheese tater tots. That's a fun. Okay, yeah, there you go. That's from Sonic, so order it now so I can get here by Saturday. I have a hour away.

They have desserts. Well, yeah, and then we were in the drive-thru, and I said to him, should we do the, a mini blast? And he said, I think we've ordered enough. Can you, I... Brutal.

Let me tell you, after the whole chocolate almond thing that happened before that, I really let him happen. Wait, what's that? So all day, just to pre-fix this, all day,

I was real fired up. She's in a great move. Like, joking around, being a little inappropriate at times. So it's not like I'm what we were saying, Dong City or anything. I'd say it's worse. Is that a word?

Oh my gosh, yes. Darden, I was going to wait. Dong City? That's hard. That was one of the hard ones. Well, I was going to say, yeah. That was either genius or like so hard. Wow.

Why, wait. In what context would she have been able to say that? I tried to give everyone a third one be like pretty hard. She's like, I'm the only woman. If I'm like, gong sitting here. Why wasn't his, I thought you were going to bring up a story. I thought maybe he won't because it's a little inappropriate. And then I just put it out.

What kind of story? But it all shifted after this event happened. And it went from Jokey Jokey to very upset. Very upset. What happened? Well, here's the thing. We went to, I don't remember where we got chocolate almonds, which is my favorite. Dark milk.

We got dark chocolate. It's healthier. You can tell we've fallen off a bit. I like dark chocolate on. Good for your heart. It's so good. Yes. I couldn't wait until we got to the house.

So I opened mine, had a few, and then I put them in front of the six shift thing. And when we got to the house, We were gonna put in the bag to go bring it inside. Well, Jared moved the six shift and then put the almonds in the bag. No. Yeah. But he popped the lid open in the process.

My almonds spilled all over inside of the bag and I could eat it. No, no, not all over. They fell into the bag. She likes to say they fell all over the bag. They practically, they were in the plastic bag. Wait, not even all over the car. Yeah.

No, inside the bag. I don't wanna eat it if it hit the plastic bag. It came out of a plastic container. That's what size of point, guys. The fact is, the fact is, I think you've lost all of them. I know, hold on. Edit that part out. Edit that part out.

So there was only. I ended up being like half of them and feeling all the lupuous. Well, that's the word. That's the word. You took away from this fact that I only had eight almonds left and he said that was enough. After all that vagina talk you were doing, you should have pooped in his face. Oh my God. Wait, what?

She said a vagina is a vagina word? She was talking about her cuder. Oh my gosh, she's got. That's a word. No. Cuder. No, it's not. Unfortunately, unfortunately, this is real.

No, but I got away with my! No, you said vagina. No, I got away with one of mine. It wasn't vagina. It was queefed. I didn't hear you say queued. I said queef. I said, with all that vagina talk,

you should have quefed in his face. Wait, so are we announcing when we got away with one? Good for you. Did you get away with one? I got away with one. Meatflap. Meat flaps. I didn't hear that meat flaps.

I just talking about her cooters or meat flaps. We need to stop talking over each other. But I got away with one of mine too, meatloaf. Oh, I do love Janie Craig's meatloaf. Shout out. I said one two times where I felt like anyone could have heard it. And it's, I don't even know what this is, shibbitty toilet. Oh, shibbty toilet.

It'll be there in the little gaps. He just said it right. I would just say shibody toilet. Hold on. After I said it the second time, because I felt like maybe the first time was unfair. Maybe everyone else was talking. But I found a gap. I said shibbitty toilet.

Givety toilet. That was twice. You can't just whisper it in the head. I think the footage will reveal. I said it pretty loud. He did say. I don't know if I said mine loud enough to be honest. Does I count?

I said it. No, it counts. It was set up well, though. She brought up her cooter and then meet flaps. I tried. Okay. So back to your cooter. I'm so sorry, Sandy.

It helped me say my word. Was your cooter on a trip to Dong City? Well, like you're hanging out sometimes. Sometimes I say things that he was like, Sandy, if somebody heard you talking to me the way you're talking to me, they would be shocked that this is coming out of your mouth. And one of the words happens to be cooter. Everything was a fun word. What is a throwback? I mean, talking about you're saying like, oh, my quivering cooter or anything.

Quivering, that's a word. Is that a word? Yes. You're setting every word up to be obvious. I know it's just so fun. It's not like I'm saying dog city. It's not like I'm saying quivering. I just feel like these are words I would normally say anyways.

We're really breezing past. I cannot believe I just said that. I think I blacked out. We are. You know what it is? I think Cooter is funny. The word is funny. And then we were driving, I thought,

licking the rim of my Cooter lips. Wait, you just thought it was. It sounded funny. We weren't thinking about it. Well, this was after like an hour. This was after an hour of like, you know, It's so highly inappropriate.

Basically practicing funny things to say based around Cooter. It's so funny coming from you because you're such like a sweet, innocent person. So like that coming from you is very funny. That was workshop for quite a bit. You should make merch. Dong City is an iconic shirt. Well, speaking of weird confessions, guys, we have another game. I know what you're thinking.

We are already playing a game, the sitting on a secret. Well, now we have another game called The Interrogate. room. Oh, that's right. We're bringing in something new. Do you have your judge out of it? Yeah, I have to go meet a friend real quick. I have someone else who's going to go in. While he goes and greets his friend, this is a game I'm really excited about. Another one Spencer came up with. So it's called the interrogation room and how it works is we break up into teams, teams of two. And then each of us gets two statements. One is true and one is false. And we choose one that we're going to say, a statement about our past. And the other person gets to interrogate us with three questions to see if they can guess if we're lying or not.

So for example, say mine is like, I pooped on a lawn when I was 12. Why'd that come out so fast? That would be mine. Rylan's my partner. He gets to ask me three questions about it. And then he guesses if I'm lying out. Morning. Solid or diarrhea?

Always diarrhea. Oh. Wow, I am riszed up for this. That's a word. Rizzed up. That's hard. How are you gonna do that? Wow. Explain why you have this.

This outfit? You look like a poodle. Also, who are you? Yeah, who are you? Well, without, I shave my mustache, but I'm supposed to be Judge Hardly, Judge Steve Hardly, I shaved. I forgot.

Shane, do you explain the rules? Yeah. Okay, great. So everyone has their two conventions, and I think the thing is your teammate shouldn't be, it shouldn't be like you and well. Because you guys know each other so well. Got it.

Oh my God, wait. Why am I nervous? I feel like I'm in court. All right, well, you know what else makes me nervous? What? Not being able to find a seat at my favorite content. The worst. That's the worst.

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Geek. And remember, you don't have to be suited up to get seat. Seated up? Good job. Is that a word? Geeked up? Suited up? They're going to take that.

Like, you don't have to get all fancy to get seated. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. In my head, it works. There's something there. You know what else? Sandy could. Never mind.

Oh. I was going to try to work your favorite word into this, but maybe I shouldn't. I'm sure they love that. Although I will say, Dong City is a. fun website. It might already exist. Yeah, please don't Google that. Well, if you want to make your own website for one of your favorite words. You can host your own website called Dong City. Sounds like a moneymaker. Let's not do that one, but you can with Squarespace. Thank you so much Squarespace for sponsored. With MX Platinum, you have access to over 1,400 airport lounges worldwide. So your

experience before takeoff is a taste of of what's to come. That's the powerful backing of Amex. Conditions apply. Listen, Squarespace can help you make an entire website so easily. They make it so easy. Squarespace gives you everything you need

to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with a professional website, grow your brand, and get paid all in one place. They also have options where you can actually sell content. You can put things behind a paywall. You can set the price. It makes it so easy if you want to start your own business. Or if you already have a small business,

like say you're a nail tech or a hairstylist, can literally book your clients through your website. You can create email list to contact your customers. You can check all your analytics. There's so many different analytics you can look through. You can do so many different things and it's so easy to create your website. It's all drag and drop. They have different templates you can use, but you can really personalize. Color, look, the vibe. Chris's website, by the way, we give it a shout out every episode. Check out his website that he created on Squarespace. It's beautiful. Dong City. And Ryland's soon to be disgusting website that I am scared

of. It's a moneymaker. And if you want to make your own website, all I got to do is go to Squarespace.com slash grower for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code grower to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That's Squarespace.com slash grower. Use code grower to get 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Thank you so much Squarespace for sponsoring. And yeah, go check out Chris's website, not Ryland's. Okay, judge, get us to court. All right, order in the court. He looks somewhere between like a judge and a grandmother, like with like old white. You're going to deal for that.

Old white hair, nightgown, cute glasses, like, I don't know. It looks a little bit like. What does Spencer look like? I got away with another one. Sorry. What was it? It was nightgown. I feel crazy.

Nightgown. You've been getting the setups, dude. That was like you rode these. I was a good one. I had to say it. I was excited. All right. I also realize I know all of them, so it's not going to work.

It's going to be weird when I go. But, um, oh, what, does anyone want to go for? I kind of want to go. Okay, Shane. Okay. Uh, Sandy, let's start with you. Okay. Oh.

So you pick one of yours and you don't know what it is. Wait, where's your going? I think you might pee in his pants. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Did you show the butt emoji that you have on the, on your stand? Oh, thank you so much for, uh, pointing that out. Love it. Very housewives of you.

Very gay. Housewife of Atlanta. I guess women have butts, too. When you see that emoji, do you see a peach or do you see butt? You're so gay. You don't even realize women have butts. I don't really get the whole peach butt fate. But I'm here for it.

It looks like a butt. It looks like a butt. Yeah. Could be more boodylish. I'm period. Take it up with Apple. I got away with one. Oh, did you?

That was right. My heart was racing. Was it boodylicious? It was boodylicious. Wait, should we just not tell each other the word until somebody figures it out? No, I had to because I'm so impaired. It doesn't seem like anyone. capable of doing that.

Because we're not minusing points, it's fine. It's just the first person to get all three wins. I said one twice again. Iceberg. What are you saying these words? Right when I came back, I said it felt like I peed out of iceberg. Like I was pissing out of iceberg. We didn't work.

You did it when everyone's like screaming. It doesn't work if I'm like, he did the skittany one. Skibbitty to a little. Hey, don't hate on this. The strategy might seem a little bit of orthodox this is the first time. Well, no.

This is going to be. I think you have to do. Let's not announce when we got away with it until later because I had to say something because the fact that you guys thought I would just say booty licious made my whole body hurt. But like, okay, we got to worse than that. So you think I'm just going to go with it? We have to. We just have to just go with it.

I'm so scared. Okay. Just go with it. And Adam Sandler movie. Okay, good one. Okay. Sandy, pick one of your options. All right.

I have a certain specific set of rules surrounding even in odd numbers. And so what do you want the call? Last to do so if it's not real. No, I interrogate her. Yeah, this is the entourage. Okay. Um, what? No, no, no.

Okay. Okay. So for example, when you were excited to eat those chocolate covered almonds, were you only going to eat them in like even their odd numbers? Even numbers. Okay. Um, when you wanted chili cheese tater tots, what if it came in an odd number? Is that why you feed?

Like, we're feeding them to me? Um, um, But it's only with certain things that I'm specific on these rules with. Okay. What is one thing you're specific about with these rules? Like grabbing paper towels. Okay. Like after you wash your hands.

Okay. I will say this. I thought it was a thousand percent a lie, but that was very quick. That was really quick. The paper towels seem to go real quick. I feel like the tater tot thing would have to be evens too. She'd be like, no, Jared has to eat one to make it even before I can touch them. Okay.

Judge? Yep. Here we go. The verdict is in. I think that was a lie. No, that's true. Oh! Is it a cool?

Wait, then what? I don't want. I think you want a fool. Wait, wait, right? Then what does it apply to? Just like, so the paper towels is like a real thing. Yeah, so after wash my hands, I have to have like an even number of paper towels. Or what?

I don't know, I just feel off. Like, I just got an... And I'll count it too, like, okay, one, two, three. And then that even, this is probably a little bit extreme, is like the volume on TV. It has to be on like an even number. So it's not with everything. but there's certain little things. But the tatercats, you don't care about the tater tats?

How can you count them with those? Like cheese anyways. Cheese. See, that's where you threw me off. I mean, that's good because you won because... Yeah. It only would like a little certain things, but that's it. So you have OCD tendencies.

Yeah. Does everyone have some OCD tendencies? I guess. Just a me and Sandy. I typically need things to be very clean. And I like to wear my socks are very tight. Yeah. And high.

Oh, wait. Is that what you just read? Nerd. No. was a prepared statement. Okay. Jared and Chris. You're lying?

You want to go next? We're going? Okay, who's going? Who's reading? I can read mine. Jared will go. All right. If the court recognizes Jared,

thank you, Judge. I have stolen food off of the snack stations at Disneyland multiple times and have never got. He doesn't even know it. That is crazy. Like food, like actual meals or little snacks? There's little stuff.

Wait, are you talking about like outside? I have to jump in. So like outside, like jump in. So like outside, like jumping? There's like you know where I grabbed a banana that one there's like bananas and like meat sticks out one of those Or like a kiosks a corn dog eat there like a dough whip everywhere they're not the open and bunch of things and stuff and why are you doing it like is it like to skip a line is that like when there's like I'm starving there's like it's easy and I'm hungry Whoa. I'll allow one more question. Thank you your honor final judgment. I guess what is there a part of the park you do this the most inch it's kind of like off of Main Street It seems to be the easiest.

I probably wouldn't do it anywhere else besides this one cart on Main Street. I think I have. All right. The verdict is in. That's a lie. It is a lie. I didn't even know how to defend it. Thank God.

I just thought I'm just going to try to detail it to death. I just thought it's somebody off of Main Street. That's like so like general. Like a generic thing to say. That's right where you lost. Tomorrow land. 40 steps in. You should have said, well, the pass is so expensive.

And they offer you. You perked, but I feel like I'm entitled to it. That makes sense because he's frugal. Rylan and Spencer. Okay. I once pooped in the Doritos bag and gave it to a friend as a prank. Oh, I'm sure this is true. How many years ago?

That was during the fedora phase in the middle school. Oh, then it's definitely true. How did the friend react? It was just a little like dollop and he was like, oh. How did you squeeze out of just a dollop? No. Um, you just say dollop. As a measurement of poop.

No, it was, I think that's all I had in there. I just picture these little kids in the wood with like a fedora or like a top hat, like this poopated bag. Shitting into a bag. I thought you guys were high class, dude. I'm going to say it's false. You would be correct. Whoa. It wasn't adding all the way up.

That was very scary. So I made that one for him. Yeah. So watching him lie like that was interesting. Well, Rylan really gave me an easy one at the beginning by saying, oh, this is. like this is for sure true and it's like you could be like yeah yeah like visualized you in the park with a fedora me too I saw it and then I was just like it's a little too gross yeah it's just a little too nasty yeah I agree what was your real one uh my real one what was it

unbeknownst to me I convinced my sixth grade classmates I was gay due to a specific pair of pants oh that is very you and then you just go along with it till high school no I didn't know I didn't know Oh, I didn't know they thought I was gay. Oh, you would just be wearing a stylish pair of pants. No, I was gonna dress as an alien for the dance. And then I also, I think I was like, hadn't fully hit puberty yet. And someone at the same, I was wearing the outfit and someone was talking about like sex. I was like, ugh, sex.

Like, like, that's gross. About like sex with some girl. And then like later I was like, yeah, we all thought you were gay for like a while. Okay. Okay. What is it gonna be? I might pick a different one. Wait.

You might not like the other one. You're not gonna confess about genital warts, right? What? I'm just saying. What? You just did four? Is that one of your words, general warts? Yeah.

I definitely don't have those. I was like, what the fuck you're out? Who does that? Wow, that was good though. Right. Leland just came and hold it in. That was good. It's not like he said, dark city.

That was so hard. How else am I going to bring up genital wards? That was a good one. Okay. My confession. What? It's yours, right? I got it.

I'm just like if it's your confession. You're not allowed to say anything this round, okay? I once hung out very late at night with a former Disney star, and they were trying to convince me to do some hardcore pegging. Whoa. Hardcore what? Pagging. Pagging.

I don't even know. Okay. Is that a dildo? What year was this? A dealdo? Is it sensual? What year was this? This was 2014.

Just missed the throwback. Okay. Are we thinking Disney like in the era of 2008? And then was this, did this happen? Where did this happen? At their house. I'm going to say it's a lie. It is a lie.

There was no way he was going to fit to that. Also, you got to say what pegging is for the... And hardcore pegging was one of my one. I know it's cheating. It's cheating. Okay, here's what actually happened. So Spencer gave me Hillary Duff once leaned over and sucked my ear during a shoot when no one was looking. There's no way.

I know, but I was like, but we had just talked about your interacting with Hillary Duff and I was like, oh, she could have done something crazy. Right, right, right. I could not sell that one. I know, I know. The other one's true. Well, okay, well, here's another. Okay. Okay, well now I'm very confused.

The web of lies is becoming thicker. Here's another thing. So I did not think of one. And it was like at the last minute. And I was like, oh, fuck, I don't have one. He's like, I'll just give you two fake ones. It's okay. I can't think of another one.

And so his two fake ones. One of them is typed out. And one of them is just that. So I read that one. And then I opened up the second one. It's just a more typed out version of the same exact one. I was like, okay. That's all right.

I was kind of in a rush preparing the game before that. No, you just for aesthetics wanted him to have two envelopes. I forgot to print out. Yeah, I forgot to print out the second one. I will also say it's not that I was being lazy. I thought of Rylens. I thought of Rylent's confession for him.

I was doing work. He thought of mine. So who's going to guess for me? Spencer can't because he knows. I can't. Okay. I once douched at an Airbnb and got shit all over the walls. If I had a nickel

Man, okay Nickel is one of Chris's words Is it? No Who is with you? Shane Who cleaned it up afterwards

If he would got all On the walls You think Shane's gonna clean up my shit? Felt like a waste of a question To be honest with you He probably should have Anytime there's poop involved With anything Ryland's like

You do it Oh helping himself He's talking about dogs When you dozed your dogs and duty buddy It's a hard word. You know what? I'm only gonna say it. That's the worst one.

I'm only gonna say it's true because of Shane's reaction when you said it. So I think that is true. It is true. What? No way. Do you want, I can explain some of it. I would have never, I would have never.

And then you guys never gave each other rib jobs ever again after that. That you guys. Is that a word? Yeah. That was good though. Damn it. I can tell you get excited after her. Yeah.

No, here's, it actually had nothing to do with sex. So what happened was, he was, sorry, constipated. You were having, like, a serious stomach thing. We were in Palm Springs, and we were on a low vacation, and he was miserable. And his stomach was so plugged up. He was miserable. And then I was like, I mean, you could, like, give yourself an enema. And then he was just like, what are you talking?

I was like, I don't know, like, just maybe put a water bottle and squeeze it. Like, get things moving. And so he created a water bottle. douche. Wow. And I did it for him. Standing in the bathtub. That's so sweet. This is like in our first and I used warm water. It was really early on, but he was so miserable and so much pain. So then I squeaked the whole thing and he was like, oh God, oh God.

And then it all just started spraying everywhere. No. In London, God, we sound like such jet. I was douching my butt in London. Where are my top house? I don't even remember. I don't know what you're going to do. I don't think I know here, but I got it.

We were, good job. We were, we were, I think poop all over the walls was a little exaggeration. Ha, so we were in, we were in London. Any poop on the wall qualifies. You guys know when you travel, it's over. Like your stomach is a problem.

So that happened to me, but it was like really, really bad. And I was not enjoying the trip or anything. And I was like trying to figure out what to do. And I googled it and it was just, just like, you know, the end of my thing. So then that's when I tried it for myself and it worked. So I knew a few months later I was like, well, I did this. And maybe it'll work for you.

Wow. And it did. You deserve an award for that. Like husband of the year. And it just flattered poop everywhere. You just got. Well, you guys cleaned it up. It might just be a shower situation.

This husband of the year. No. Oh, okay. You just really believe. No, but I keep saying mine guys and you guys are not catching up. What was it? I don't want to say it. Whoa.

I'm going to keep using it. What do you think about your, it was top hat. It was top hat. Wait, has Chris done his yet? No. Is this the finale? Oh, no. It would be a laugh down.

It is a finale. Okay, Chris. I think we should all be able to interrogate. Oh, that's terrifying. Okay. All right, let's see. While in a mock hit at a punk show, I got hit so hard in the head I couldn't see out of my eye for close to a year.

That's very Chris. That is very Chris, even down to the, the wording. But I think Spencer probably knows that. I don't know. That'd be pretty impressive. One question. Okay. I always one question. Who was the band?

It was lower class breath. That sounds like a lie. Which I. It was my right eye, which is my good eye. What the girl looked like? I don't know. In a mosh, but you have no idea what's going on. It's literally flashes of bodies.

You're just hoping for the best. Yeah. I honestly don't even know definitively who hit me. What did you do right after? I kept moshing. But it hurt. I mean, I wanted to leave, but like, I don't know. You're not gonna stop.

I've, like, cut my arm open at shows and, like, been bleeding and been like, oh, we'll deal with that later. That just happened to warp tour. I think it's true. I get a vote. We got lies. It's really, is Spencer that good, or is this just true? Spencer might be that good. It sounds very Chris.

It's time for the very. I think Spencer's gotten that good. True. True. We have three truths, one lie. Chris, will you reveal? That was a lie. I knew it.

I knew it. Spencer, is that good? Spencer, you're so good. It's all about Spencer. It's all about. crime and that felt easy to lie about because like a lot of the everything I said is basically true yeah can I be honest I thought it was true because I was like you told the story on the podcast I think the only thing not true about it was the I part like everything else that's not one of

the elements that had been like it's brought up yeah well what's your true one my true one is I was straight cucked by a good friend of mine and his girlfriend we never spoke of it again wait what does that mean so what happened was we were in my room and my it was me and my I just come out to my friend. It was him his girlfriend and me and my boyfriend, my first ever boyfriend. And we were just sitting there and he was like, you know what? If you like, prove it. If you like fuck your boyfriend right now, I'll have sex with my girlfriend right now, like, but to prove it.

And I was like, what? And then he's like, yeah, like, you go, we'll go. And I was like, huh? And he looked at his girl and she's like, yeah, we'll go. And I was like, what? And then they just started having sex. I didn't agree to anything. They started doing that.

And I was like, oh, we didn't. That's what I'm saying? He's a straight cook. We left. That's a lot. Do you still talk to this, friend? Not really. Are they still together?

No. Oh. Okay. Wow. Well, fun game. Okay, let us know. Should we play that again? I liked it.

I liked it. That was fun. That was fun. You guys are going to have to think of some more stuff that happened in your lives. Yeah, you gotta give us like a week. You gotta give us like a week. I'll get more of a heads up. Why gave Spencer like a whole list?

I didn't know what he was looking for. Well, here guys go. Hopefully you enjoyed that game. Also, before we take a break, how many people have words left? You have one? Yeah, I have one left. I failed at two and was successful at one.

I was successful at two failed at one. Okay. Well, Spencer, the grand finale. Will you get to say your word during conspiracy corner? Ooh, maybe. All right, we're going to take a break when we come back. It's conspiracy. corner and true crime. They are crazy.

Stick around. I was guilty of multiple skin care crimes. Two counts of sleeping in makeup. One count of using disposable wipes. I knew my routine had to change. So I switched to Garnier-Missler water. It gently cleanses, perfectly removes makeup, and provides 24-hour hydration. Clear away the evidence with the number one Missler Water worldwide by Garnier. Not our 2016 challenge right here. Aw.

Was that the same trip to one? You were talking about? Yes. Right before I do. That's what he was constipated. Not, not me. But that's crazy. I know.

I always wonder like, how long do you, is it okay then to post about it? Like, do you wait like, is a week too long? Like for the trend. Oh, we can still do it today. No, but I'm saying like so. I like seeing it. Well, and because I kind of did like a draft. How you were mentioning it before and I didn't post it.

Oh, we both. deleted our drafts. Yeah. And so it's like, is it too late? I don't know. It's always hard to tell. Let's hold each other's hands after this and just hit post. Yeah.

Come on, Sidney. You do it first and then I'll see. You gotta do it. You gotta do it. You know what it's also never too late for? The right pair of headphones. And you know where you can get those from? Tell us.

Raycon. That's right. Today's episode is sponsored by Raycon. Thank you so much. Please don't go anywhere. Let me explain Chris. You go nowhere without your Raycon Everyday earbuds. Literally. Like they're in my car right now. They're on my person at all times.

On this person. And like, yeah, I don't know. I can't live life without them anymore. Like when I forget them, my day is ruined. Why know Jared always wears his Raycon's at the gym? As a walk star, you've got to. Black. Black, yeah. I like the classy. Elegon also has, they have so many different colors. They have, you know, the black and the white, but they also have different colors. They have this lavender. They have a cool mint that's beautiful. And they're very monochromatic. Like the case matches the actual earbuds. It's so pretty. And obviously. Obviously, they have so many different features. They have the active noise cancellation.

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Help build up your credit. And, yeah, join the rest of the show. Hey, welcome back to Dong City. I'll never stop saying it. It's so good. Dong.com has such a good ring to it. These are probably taken. To take you to Dong City.

Let me just see. Dong. There's no in the comments. Let me just see. I guess I might as well check. I might as well just see. If Dong City isn't taken by it. Wait, can you, it'll be worth something.

Dongcity.com. What are we going to put on Dongcity? DongCity.com? And I'm looking to set up... Let me just say Dong.com has a better ring. Don.com is... If you are just looking to get a website, guys, get Dong.com. No, we're not going to do it, but you guys can do it.

DongCity.com is for sale too. Stop. But is it for sale for cheap or is someone the owns it trying to sell it back to for like a lot? They want a pretty penny. $500. Ding, ding, ding. I think they're undervaluing. We're all pitching in.

We're all pitching in. After this episode. Should I buy it now with Appleberry? Wait, how much? $4.99. If Dong City is available, you're on the phone, and you can buy it right now, you're crazy not to. You should buy Dong City.

Yeah. You don't care about conspiracies anyways. Just don't have to buy Dong City. How about this? Can you imagine by the- It's a race for Dong City. Jarrots buying it? It's a race.

It's a race for Dong City. Oh, no, it's going to win. No, you're not going to do it. Is he not going to do it? He's looking like he's going to do that. I'll buy Dong City right now. This is the Bitcoin opportunity I missed. Regardless, I'm putting Cooter stickers on that website.

Whoever gets it, okay? Don't buy seven. If you walk down to, look, I'm looking at it from an SEO standpoint. If you walk down the street and sometimes you've got a website, it's like, yeah, DongCity.com. You put DongCity on a car? The winner of the game is DongCity.com. Someone in this room bought DongCity.com. And when you're watching this episode right now, it is live.

Go to DongCity.com and see who bought. I just got an actual website there, my real. I feel like it's going to have a ton of views and then nothing else. If it was under 100, I would have done it. Conspiracy. Of course. Well, speaking of, someone got arrested at Chuck E. Cheese again. There was another Chuckie or West.

We've gotten so many emails about it. I have not seen this video yet. I'm kind of scared to. Oh, no. How traumatizing. Why do they? do it in front of the kids. Yeah. They don't have to do that. Oh my God. Wait, why is the kid following? I know. That was the main reason this went viral is like, why are you letting your kid

for? That's where he lives. Chuckie. That's where he lives. That's where he lives. That's where he lives. Why don't they just escort them to the back and then the caucus of the break room? I'm going to get Chuckie cheese some advice. Like you haven't before. Next time one of your mice gets arrested. Have an employee casually walk over and go, Chuckie, you have a friend in the back that, you know, wants to see you. In your home. Chuckie, go, oh, and then you arrest him in the back. Or just like, Chuckie, it's break time.

Yeah, a little cheese in the back. It's a cheese break. Something like that. So, you know, a child doesn't watch their favorite mascot get arrested. Yeah. Yeah, it's sort of like the opposite of how well Disney would handle that. Like, Disney would, I don't know what they would do. Oh, you would never know.

Never, yeah. You would never see it. Yeah. Wow. Um, okay, this next theory is niche. But this fucked me up. It ruined my week. Starbucks.

Hear me out. I thought, I think it's pretty big. Well, no, this is niche. I thought that I was getting really close to my barista. Now, I haven't met my barista yet because I postmate every day. But I will tell you, every morning when my coffee would come, the messages would get progressively nicer, right? It would start with, you know, have a nice day.

The next one, you know, it would be like progressively more and more uplifting and almost more personal. and almost more like, oh my god, this is like my friend now. And that one of them was like, oh my God, good choice or something. I'm like, well, she likes my order. Like, you know, it's getting more and more like that. She's so sweet. But then it started getting a little more like random.

So, for example, one day my order came and it just said nom nom nom. It's not even food. And it's not even food. You don't nom nom nom a drink. No. I wouldn't like that. Okay, I still took a picture of it. And the licky, like the tongue out is a little like,

it's like, coutherish. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Cooter is not Cooder is not negative. No, Cooter is not negative. We've had a lot of jokes, but Cuter is not a joke. You're crossing the line, okay, Ryland.

It's not funny. Crossing the line. I think oral sex feels good. Hot take. I think it's just the way you said. I think just the way you said. I like it now. I like Coutterish.

I'm sorry if what I said was perceived to be negative, it was positive. Well, anyway. So then the next day I got started. My. And it just said, wowza. And I was like, okay, what the fuck is going on? That feels like fat shaming.

Especially because all the drinks are trend to. You got a large? That's kind of what I thought. Wowza. It's like, geez. I was a little triggered and I was like, whoa. You really need to pick me off. You might suck.

What happened to my brista? And she gets fired. It's just a new person. Like, she doesn't get my wavelength. So then I think I was talking about this on the Patreon podcast. And then somebody in the comments said, This is actually a new thing Starbucks has implemented into their plan or whatever. They are now forcing the baristas to write things on the cups besides just the name.

Now they have to write something. As if they're not already busy enough. Yeah. So I saw this on Reddit. It says, is writing on cups supposed to speed up service or something? I don't have an issue with service speed personally, just asking because it seems like a ridiculous requirement. It's slowing it down. Somebody said, no, it's to improve customer relations.

It does slow us down. new CEO is all about increasing customer connection, which fucking works. I literally, I created this thing in my head. I saw this barista in my head being like, I love Shane. Like not me as, you know, YouTuber, just me as a customer. Like, he orders from us every day. I'm going to surprise him with little messages. I literally thought I was like, maybe I should go in tomorrow and be like, I'm here.

I literally created a storyline, not fucking real. So then some, can I show this? Yeah, yeah, because this is like a public article. Public? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this is actually from a document that Starbucks gave their employees. So this is what they specifically say you have to do. Not sure what to write.

Partners can opt for the following when writing on Cups. Also keep in mind the guidelines shared about craft of connection. That's fucking crap of connection. I mean, it works. He's not wrong. Nope, they killed it. Add the customer's name, draw a smiley face, write a simple affirmation. You're amazing.

But they don't wow. accounts as an affirmation. Hold on. If you're only post- mating and you get your amazing, they have no idea who you are. This is like, yeah. It's like you're amazing. I thought, I thought they knew you were amazing. No, I just thought they were like, well, Shane wakes up so early now. Like, it's fire in the morning. You know, share well wishes. See you today. Or leave a simple hello again for regulars. Hello again is crazy. You know, that's scary. I felt special. I think welcome back is better. I felt special because they wrote, thank you yesterday on my cups.

And now I'm seeing that thank you is kind of like substandard right now. I think too many people were just getting away with saying thank you and that's why this came out. I don't know. It made me sad. Listen, like when you go to Dutch bros and you know that legally they have to ask you what your favorite fucking animal is. It's enough to make me not go anymore. You know it's not real.

You know they're lying. They don't want to do it either. But like this specifically. Some of them do. And you know who you are. I'm just saying. Wow. What do you like your job?

Fuck you guys. What are you happy? Go to gongcity.com. Shut up. Yeah. Go to Dong City. Sorry, that was mean. I'm just saying like,

I kind of agree with you. How could you fake excitement for someone's favorite animal? I couldn't. Wow. No, is that really? Did I learn something about you? What giraffes too?

This is crazy. I don't even know where to start with this. All right, this was an email we got from Maria, which aside note. If you want to send us any theories or Mandela's or anything like that, go to Shane Dosson podcast. stuff at gmail.com or go to dong city you're going to like what you see at dongcity.com.

Hi, Shane and friends. My name is Maria and I've been watching for a really long time. I'm from Portugal and Shane is the reason my English is so fluent now. Anywho, I just wanted to share this new fun app that's circulating. She put new fun app in quotes. It's called FameFi. And basically, this is crazy. This could make me cry. It's the whole comment. is you can live stream but the viewers are all AI boss and the comments are based on what they see and the questions that you answer. I don't know about you guys but this was extremely dystopian to me. Watch this video. This is fucking dark. Ew. Best prank ever. Your friends will think you're TikTok famous.

What the hell? Famefly create an AI audience that interacts with you. Learns from your streams and even motivate you with you. hilarious comments like nice try diddy it's not just stream it's fame reimagined step into the spotlight with fame fire it's not fame reimagined it's fake this is a video i i hope this is like just an ad these are their ad okay these are an ad but this is what it is ready girls i cannot be the only one sometimes when i get ready i'll talk to myself in the mirror like i'm talking to an audience but guess what i found this app it's called famify and you basically get to go live when it's fake everything's fake the audience and everything, but it feels real.

Audience actually applies to what you're saying. That way you're not actually talking to yourself. That's like crazy. What's the point? Maybe one day you'll actually make you feel like you're like a famous streamer. To make you feel like the same. But you know it's not real. To boost narcissism.

I mean, it's like crazy, right? So, okay. Feel what it's like to go live with an audience? I could think I could cry right now. This is why this is so dark to me. Number one, I think kids are going to use this. Yeah. And I think it's going to be like for young kids

who are on social media to like start doing this. And then they're gonna feel a connection with all these AI bots and they're gonna feel like they're part of this fucking world where they're famous and all these AI bots are like that, to me, that's what's gonna happen. Until they start talking about dark subject matter and then the AI bots are like cheering that on

and then something horrible happens and it's- Okay, I don't wanna get sued by FameFi. And I'm sure they have a lot of guidelines and I'm sure you can't actually use it unless you're over 18 or something. I don't know, I haven't looked into it. Or if your goal was to be like a hardcore streamer and you wanted to practice interacting with the chat room because it is kind of hard to like

talk look deal with the chat room whatever the case may be but this is to me just like very weird you know like i think the world could be good without it possibly maybe allegedly there's another ad i haven't seen this one what is this one how i make my marble rival sessions 10 times more fun did you see that move no my audience is loving this no you want me to do that again All right. Oh my God, the comments. Gaming is fun, obviously. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.

This is scary. You can get verified, though. Wait, you have to pay for the... Yeah, you're paying for it. You pay based on... You're paying to feel famous? See, it's like, look, if you pay more for more viewers. Oh my God.

I hate this. Also, like, I don't know a nice way to say this. It's just like, someone doing this is the saddest thing ever. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. You guys are the nicest way you can say it. There's no nice way to say it.

It's like, it's really sad. Don't do this. I don't know. We're so fucked. Yeah. Well, speaking of fucked and the world probably ending, where are we going to go if the world does end? Well, somebody has a plan. Okay.

Colby, friend of ours, sent me this and he was like, you should show this on the podcast. So I watched it and I was like, this is crazy. Check this out. When you look at Elon Musk, he seems like insane and chaotic. from the outside. Why does he have the boring company? That doesn't make any sense. He's drilling all these tunnels underground. Like, why would he do that? Well, if he wants to go to Mars, humans aren't going to live on the surface of Mars. They're going to live underground. So you're going to have to build some tunnel complexes underground. Well, why does he have a solar company? You know, he's going to have a pretty good at building power plants, right? So why don't you build large solar fields? Because there's no real estate problems on Mars. So you can build like a five miles at solar field on Mars if you want it. Why is he building a robotics company? Why does he have all these Tesla bots? You're not going to have five million humans show up overnight. millions of robots right time and use them as your labor force to help build up everything whoa right sphere or any of these other things why does he have an AI company well you need some sort of intelligence to coordinate and run and terraform the planet why does he need a battery power car

company because you're not going to be running internal combustion engines there's no fossil fuels I know so you need battery power cars to be able to drive them around so it's actually coherent when you see that entire framework he probably like wrote it all down while high and drunk and he's like this makes so much sense I'm so smart The added dig at the end. Literally, holy fuck. Holy fuck. It all makes sense.

It all makes sense. Like, I don't know the plan or who he's taking to Mars, but I don't think it's all of us. No. Right? Is it a lottery system? I will say AI is like finally learning how to advertise to me, though. What are they advertising?

Chebby boys. And there was a beautiful chubby man. And I was like, oh, hey. I went back and it was like, I think I took a, Just jiggling those tiggingle bitties? Yeah, so like a cartooner? Is that your word?

It was for a website where it was like, oh, here's like, sign up and you'll have like a pal, like an AI pal or whatever and you can make him say whatever you want or whatever. But I was like, whoa, this actually got me to like stop and look and be like what is it? And I was like, oh no, AIs even knowing how to advertise them me specifically with my weird. All it took was just a big fact guy. Hey, no one else has done it before Spencer. Okay. Yeah. There we go.

Long City. I don't know. It's very, very interesting, and it makes me really, like, want to go through and look at everything Elon has done and kind of put it to this theory. Like, it's everything he's done as a part of this master plan. I mean, he's honest about wanting to go to Mars. Well, yeah, keep an eye out. See what else he does?

And if it ties into this theory. And also, once he goes to Mars, what are we all going to do? We're dead. We're probably all dead by then. Well, speaking of things that could throw me into a terrifying spiral, Spencer, you had something to break down. You start telling me about it, and I was like, oh, save it for the podcast. This is about Walmart?

Yeah, yeah. Hey, how does Walmart know what I'm buying in cash? I got an email from this afternoon that says, hey, can you rate this product that you purchased recently? And I did purchase that product recently from Walmart. I bought it in cash. What? Right? I walked to the electronics section and bought a USB charging cable with cash and then walked out.

And I know that the first, you've already started typing. It's the Walmart app on your phone, you moron. That is a fair assumption. I do not have the Walmart app on my phone. I have never had the Walmart app on my phone. And further, I did not have my phone with me on this trip. Wait, that's crazy. Yeah, it's really crazy.

And so I kind of fell down a little mini rabbit hole on this. And so immediately the comments are talking about. So former employee, Walmart has been experimenting with facial recognition for like five years or more. When you were out grocery shopping, you may not realize what is watching you. Some supermarkets are using facial recognition technology. Warning shoppers of technology collecting, storing, and even sharing biometric data. So what does that mean? So if they're, this is just a theory, but they're, they see your face in the store on the cameras.

But then how do they know your email? They have your system? Yeah. So basically what happened to this guy is they already had a profile on it because he has gone in with his phone before. And so this is the guy. This is how these technology works. Camera scans your face and converts it to straight data. keep your picture, but it's more, you know, the biometric, you keep hearing biometric data.

That's like all the way your face is arranged and everything. So it keeps all that stuff. The store will have a ton of Wi-Fi access points all over the place. A standard Walmart with this tech probably have over 100 or more. When your phones sends out looking for Wi-Fi data packs, it gets to know your phone, it gets to associate your phone with your face. So it's building a whole profile on you. Using three or more Wi-Fi access points, they can triangulate your position in the store,

about a foot and a half variation. And when you go to make a purchase, there's another camera verifying the facial data, matching it with your Mac address and keeping the last fordage of the card you pay for. And so every time you go to Walmart, the profile becomes more and more accurate to the point where it may be able to recognize you by your face and your shopping habits alone. As for getting your email, I'm not sure how they did that, but I'm assuming it's something equally sinister. And just recently, they actually switched all Walmart stores over to, or in the process of switching them over to digital price tags. So they're going to be able to adjust the price as they want to.

So think about those technologies combined. They can follow you around the store. They know what you buy. You're alone. You walk down an aisle. Oh, he spends like, this guy buys all this stuff all the time. We could bump a dollar, $2.00 on the price. He's going to buy it no matter what.

All that sort of stuff. The digital price tag we talked about like maybe two years ago. I think they're already doing that at grocery stores. I think on airplanes too. I think depending on your information, sometimes the price will be different. That's so fucked up. Yeah. Why is Walmart the only company that doesn't have Apple Pay?

They don't. They don't even have tap. It drives me insane, actually. They want to pretend like, we don't even know how to do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're going to be able to pay by looking at it soon. Whoa, that is crazy. Well, speaking of terrifying rabbit holes.

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And we'll begin when passenger Fisher is done celebrating. 19 plus Ontario only. Please play responsibly. Concerned by your gambling or that if someone close you, call 1-8665331-2-60 or visit Comexonterio.ca. Jared. Yes. Yeah, so I was recently going down a rabbit hole.

I saw one video and have you guys heard of the Richard Millie watch brand? No. So it's kind of like a hip thing. Like I've only seen certain people talk about it, but there are these watches. But there are hundreds of thousands of dollars. Oh, God. This article right here is saying that evidently what happened is when they first went to promote their product, they had it listed for $13,500. But there was a typo that made it $135,000.

And people were interested and they were reaching out to the company and like, hey, like, yeah, how could we get hold of one of these $135,000 watches? And then they started calling it Richard Malay. Oh, just to make it have like. Are you fucking kidding me? Richard Mills' first advertisement, the advertising department. misprints the price. They added a zero. They added a zero.

He wanted to sell the RM001 for $13,500. They printed in the ad $135,000, 10 times the price. The ad goes out. The RM team is like, you guys botched it. Like, who's going to buy this? But then they started getting calls. I have $135,000 burning a hole in my pocket right now. And I would love this watch.

I want it on my wrist. And so this is why it's because of a brand. It denies that this ever happened. Wow. That's hilarious. But I mean. Yes, that's hilarious. Oh, my God, genius.

Yes. But they are selling for $135,000. Oh, that would be, I think, cheap now. Yeah, they're like, they're like, what? Why are they so much? Not on average. I don't think they're millions, but their base models are probably like. Like, are they made for-

Diamonds or something? What? I wonder if like the first few people who bought this saw the material and were like, what the heck? Like, this is so cheap. This isn't worth $130,000. I could have won this at Chuckie cheese. But then I wonder if then they started talking making it seem like it was.

was really worth that amount. I think, is that how it started? People that buy things like that, it's, I think, for status and for, you know, people, oh, you got one, you got one. Yeah. Yeah. So I think it's, you know, that's interesting. So the next one is in this world, you know, we talk about this elite group of people that

rule over us called the Illuminati is generally perceived that it's for evil purposes. Right. I don't think we often talk about the Illuminati doing good, but as far as evil having power within this world, I think one way that has been theorized that they've done it is through people, right? Almost puppetry of humans. And that's kind of where this theory it ties in because it's all about dead people that have come or that supposedly died that have come back or other people or people that got killed allegedly, but just continued living their life as another person. And but there are people that are being used very strategically like to send a message, to start a

movement, a revolution, something like that. So the first one isn't, isn't like super interesting, but if you can see it. Is that Glenn Close? It's Glenn Close in George Washington. But they say, like, maybe George Washington was used for a very specific purpose, right? And maybe they said, maybe he said, yo, I want to come back. I was so with you. I was so with you. No, stay with me. Is she George Washington? They are the same person. It's not George Washington like vampire where he's been around for hundreds of years. That's, that's, if there's a few ways that this theory could operate, that would be one of them. Well, you know, Anne Hathaway is like Shakespeare's wife.

Okay, so I'm sounding less crazy. There's a lot of them. On to the next picture. So the next picture, that's George Washington's wife. But. It's absolutely brutal. But go to the next picture. That's Glenn Close his husband.

What if you were saying that that's Martha Stewart. That's Martha. I mean, if you zoom in, there are. You think that's Martha Stewart? No, no, no, Martha Washington. That's pretty close. Look at it. Look at him.

That's Robert Stewart. But watch, look, it sounds crazy. No, I see it. I mean, it's like, who are we looking at? I'm back, I'm back. Okay, so this is. Okay, so it's a fun one. Look into it and kind of see, you know,

if some of these seem plausible to you. But that was what I had. Yeah. Wow. Was that the heavy hitter of the bunch? That was a heavy hitter for me. Sand, you have a true crime story. Yes.

Well, this one's even eerie because it's happening as we speak. There's no resolution. No resolution. As of yet, maybe in a few days, definitely when this comes out. Heavy speculation. Heavy speculation. Yes. Okay.

So this is about Brennan and Christine Banfield. And they are from Virginia. And they have a daughter. She's four years old. And in 2021, they decided to hire an Aupéar. You guys are familiar with this? It's like a nanny. So it's a nanny.

A liven. So it's essentially, you know, a nanny that you get from a foreign country. So they come and you have to, you know, provide some work for them to live as well as a stipend, you know, an amount of money. And so they chose Juliana Perez, Magalach, something. I can't pronounce her last. She's Brazilian. She comes to live with them in 2021. In about 10 months into her job, she starts having an affair with Brennan. So he's an IRS investigator. Oh, no. They have, you know, this affair. And within a few months, she's stating that he's starting to have this

plot about killing his wife because he doesn't want to divorce her and he doesn't want to share custody of the daughter. So what he comes up with is he ends up taking his wife's computer. and he starts creating an account. They actually haven't decided yet who's created the account, whether it was him or her. And so they created an account from like, allegedly, from kinky website where you essentially...

Dog City, don't know. You essentially post like... Thank you, Jared. You're welcome. No, thank you. So they created this account for this kinky website where you're able to post like your most kinky fantasy that you want. and people respond to it and you find each other.

Well, I believe it took them about a month or two to find somebody who didn't request to meet her in person. And she, but it was a husband, you know, opposing as her, allegedly, told him, told this man, his name is Joseph Ryan, that she wanted to play out this fantasy where he comes into their home, she's asleep, and she requests that he bring a chain, a knife, a rope, these items, and he actually ends up taking a few.

photo of them when he picks, when he buys them and he sends it to her. And what happens is one night, Brendan is I'm McDonald's nearby. The nanny, Juliana, is in the car with the daughter and she sees this man coming into this house, calls the husband to essentially say like, there's a stranger here, but really tipping him off to say, hey, he's here. So he ends up going to the house and goes upstairs, the wife is in bed and Joseph Ryan is standing in front of her with the knife and she yells out to Brendan and says he's got a knife. So Brendan ends up getting a gun out, shoots Joseph Ryan, right? And then he stabs his wife in the neck, allegedly, stabs his wife in the neck until she dies. And so what happens then is that the nanny comes in, calls 911 and

essentially is like somebody is robbing us. You know, he broke into the house. He was trying to, you know, he killed my friend. He calls her my friend, but essentially her boss. The cops come and they're doing an investigation. So it really does look like Brendan, in self-defense, killed him after he killed his wife. And then that happened in February. So in the same year in 2023, they ended up arresting Juliana.

And for about a year, Brendan's mom ends up paying. for her lawyer throughout this whole year. And Julianne is writing letters to Brendan saying how, you know, saying that she loves him and that she's going to take the blame for everything and, you know, just really romanticizing, like, their relationship. And it wasn't until 2024 in September, they end up actually convincing her to do a plea deal where she gets less time, is able to go back to Brazil with her family. And as long as she turns in this information about Brendan.

So she ends up signing it. Automatically, Brendan's mom stops paying for the lawyer. And now they're in trial for Brendan's being accused of murder of killing Joseph Ryan and his wife. And word today came out that there's no evidence of him being at the scene. Like, there's no DNA evidence. But they're saying that the blood never lies. So the blood trail that was left, because what he ended up doing was grabbing some of her blood and putting it on Joseph Ryan to make it look like he's the one that was stabbing her. But they said, no, that doesn't make sense.

Like the blood trail, the way it's shown, like it doesn't make sense that that's where he would have blood if he was standing over her. Oh my God. Stabbing her. Yeah. So right now they're on trial and they only have two more witnesses left. And it's supposed to be, they thought that this trial was going to take weeks and it's only been like four days. So by now the information might be out. By now, yeah.

So they did this whole thing to get rid of their wife and now they're not even together. Yeah, and they said that the reason, because they were asking her, like, well, why did you turn? Because they had asked her, they had tried to do a plea deal right when she first got arrested. And they were saying, like, why now? Why are you doing the plea deal now? And she said, honestly, like, people are essentially offering to buy her story. And, you know, when she was an annie, she was only making $200 bucks a week. And she's like, you know, the whole reason I came to work is because I needed to send money to my

family and she's like and if I'm going to be able to get this amount he's she's essentially going back to Brazil with like over $100,000 and um all just for this information he could have avoided all this by just getting into force yeah yeah it would have been so much easier well sad story good delivery I'm curious to see how it all unfolds yeah I'm glued to the TV right now wow well speaking of glued to the TV let's do a recap I don't know On today's episode of the Shane Dyson podcast, Jared is now the proud owner of D. We're tech moguls.

Where it all begins. The problem is, I think we've said it too many times, so now people aren't going to want to go. I agree. We burned out the DONG. You burned the bit. We'll see why that's a wrong observation. And if you guys are burnt out on DongCity.com,

dong.com is my website. I have a game. How about by the next episode that we shoot, Whoever gets more hits to their website win something. How do we compare it? I'm done with winning prizes with you because I don't know if it's what price did anyone get today? Let's let the prize be $512 and 64. Let me recoup my investment.

I think Dong City's going to the moon. I'm over Dong City. Spitzer looks like everyone, but does he most look like somebody from the 90s or your favorite TV show? All of the above. Let us know in the comments section below. Walmart's tracking you. And so am I. I.

I do not like that. Look up and down. Don't do it again. People are faking being live on TikTok. Oh, no, that's almost too dark for me. You guys. Do we need Steve Hardly to enter the chat? Hey, Sally.

What did you find interesting this week? Well, I will say that as a man of high intellectual value, I've already invested major bucks into DongCity.com. I see it going places. It's going to the moon. I actually have a personal blog on the website this week. Ooh. I will be in regular correspondence with everyone through DongCity.com.

While we're on private parts, what do you think about Sandy talking so much about cooters? Oh, my God. I'll be honest. It threw me off a little bit. But I will say, I chuckled, Sally. Starbucks priestsers are gaslighting us,

but it's not their fault. It's the dumb CEO who's making them feel like we are chips. Aw. Yeah, like I said, I've been pondering the thank you I got last night all day, feeling very good about myself, thinking, wow, how nice of them. But I've come to realize that was about the laziest thing they could have put on my cup. I see you're drinking out of something that resembles a Starbucks cup. What does your cup say today?

Oh, no, this is from REI. This is all about outdoering. This actually has a canteen. on the bottom that I could heat food on, so never disrespect me like that again. I know RIA probably doesn't leave messages. Oh, but Leon Musk is creating life in Mars. Leon Musk.

Or Elon, Elon Musk. Ever been suspicious about what Leon Musk is doing here on Earth? Creating electric cars, cars with batteries, solar things, pouring companies, everything else? Well, when you watch conspiracy. Well, voice crack there, Sally. Wow. Well, when you watch conspiracy videos,

mind they'll tell you he's creating all of these things to work in unison so we can live on mars who's going ladies oh and we played sitting on a secret uh shame who one sitting on a secret uh i think jared yeah jared actually won he was the best of that game very amazing and uh word i just got in from jared that he was sitting on a secret for about 30 minutes but recently had to let it up Rylent shit all over a hotel wall. Oh, keep it going. Chris, keep it going. No, he didn't.

I would never shit anywhere. Looks like that's all the time we had to try. I hope you guys enjoyed this episode. I know I did. Oh, it was delicious. I could probably rewind it and start all over from the beginning. If you want some merch, shendosynmerch.com and everyone's things are in the description section below.

Okay, good night. Koot-Kooter-Kooter. Good job. Sally and Ryland and every other puppet involved. Thank you guys so much for watching. Hopefully you had fun with us. And yeah, let us know in the comments who Spencer looks like.

Only positive answers. All right, see you guys like time. Bye.