The Shane Dawson Podcast - The AI Slop Art Epidemic!

Episode Date: August 30, 2026

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Two and five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca.ca. Hey, it's up you guys. Okay, I'm so excited to let you know that we are extending the tour.

We're adding three more cities, Houston, L.A., and then there's one more city that I can't say yet, because it's not like confirmed, but I should know really soon. And tickets go on sale this week, so the presale starts Thursday at 10 a.m., and the Patreon member presale starts Wednesday at 10 a.m., and then general sale starts on Friday at 10 a.m. So if you want to be a part of the presale on Thursday, all you have to do is go to shane-dawson-live.com, sign up with your email or your phone number, and then you're going to be a part of. you'll get access to the pre-sale code and that's what you'll use on Thursday to get into the tickets. So at the show we're going to be watching Cancel which is a pilot that I wrote and directed.

Then we're going to be doing a Q&A with me and Ryland and Spencer and other special guests. And then there's also the meat and gray option as well. Thank you guys so much for all your support on the first two dates. I literally could not believe it. It was so incredible. I was so overwhelmed. I haven't done something like this in like 10 years. So I was really nervous about it.

and you guys just supported so much. And now we're able to add cities, and I'm just so excited. So thank you so much. I cannot wait to watch canceled in a theater with you. So thank you guys so much, and I'll see you on tour. Bye. Strap in.

Because every single thing we have talked about over the last 10 years is all leading up to this idea. And we just talked about it, but the idea is it seems as if they really are preparing everything to be Hey, what's it, you guys? Welcome back, and I just wanted to say, Ryan. Oh, my God!

Ryland, you've changed. Rylan? It feels weird to be on the side of the table. Yes, my sweet, sweet husband, who I recently got in a fight with because I told him that he had the energy of a small wiry dog. You kept calling him a Chihuahua.

Well, I started with Chihuahua, but then I said, no, more like a wiry dog, and he was very upset about that. You mean energetic? Yes. Who doesn't want to be energetic? Wow. Ryan sympathizer of a lawyer over here.

Jeez. Well, Your Honor, that sounds like energetic. Yes, we were going to move the show around, but that's a little more complicated now because two of our co-hosts are traveling the world. Yeah. Okay. Give us updates. Where are you now?

Well, now you're here. Where were you? Where are you going? And do you need a passport? We do have passports to answer that question first. But so far, we have been going up the web. Coast. So we didn't make it too far. I think we made it like 400 miles.

You guys are still in California, right? We're still in California. We have yet to cross a border, but we went to Monterey, Morro Bay, Santa Cruz, Paso-roblis. We actually ended up staying the night at a Safeway parking lot. Yeah. We stayed at a grocery store.

It got pretty wild. Yeah, it was open 24 hours. It was very cool. It was a good spot. One in Carmel. Yeah, it was very nice. Yeah. So I think after this, we are going to head more diagonally and go to Montana. We've switched it up. I know.

We've switched it up because there's fires everywhere. I don't know if you've read. There's fires in Oregon and Washington and Canada. So prayers up for the people around those, but I think we're going to go diagonal and Montana is the next move. I think there was one day where Jared said, we're really doing it. And I said, I know. He said, why don't you stop us?

Yeah. It gets real pretty fast. Yeah. You know? One stomach bug. Oh yeah. Careful around the lettuce. One bad fart.

Oh, we've been eating a lot of lettuce. Oh, yeah. You're so brave. Why a lot of lettuce? But it has given me the excuse of like, well, I can't have a salad tonight. It's not gone yet. For safety purposes, let's have a donut. For safety purpose, it's chicken.

But I will say, speaking of sitting on an explosion. Solid segue, dad. Thank you. We're also sitting on. A secret. That's right. We haven't played this in a while, and I'm very excited. We're bringing back the game that I believe Spencer came up with. I think I did. Yeah. So this game is we all have three cards with three different, very strange words or phrases. And throughout the show, we have to try to sneak them all in. Whoever gets them in by the end of the show and doesn't get caught will win nothing. Yeah, we don't have a prize. The honor. Okay, so let's all take a moment. Look over your words. Process them. And oh my God. No. Some of these is going to be interesting.

There's no way for one of these. So, well, I don't know sandwich. Is that your word? With some cherry pies. Hey, already fooling people. All right. Well, speaking of, I was going to try to do it right now. Okay, let's just jump into it because I am so excited about this first theory.

I actually want to do a whole conspiracy van video about the first theory. this if we can figure it out if you guys aren't in Canada or we could come to Canada we'll figure it out we're going to be correspondence we could do a bi-borderly we should do that around my birthday we could all sing felice cumplanos to me in Canada oh come on that's a word I'm the worst of this okay I was literally like I don't get it good try though we know have you guys heard of code orange No. Really?

Is that your work? No. I wish. No. Code Orange is the new trend. It's the new term that everybody online is saying right now when they find a Halloween decoration item at a store, like a Home Goods or Michaels or Target. If you see Halloween decor, you say Code Orange, it's here, which I'm very excited about because

I've been doing Code Orange for weeks. I'm ready. But this is where it changes. Code Orange because of the growing rate of slop and A. I. Code Orange is not as fun anymore. Just take a look. One, two, three, four, five, six dollars. No! You have six dollars. What? And he only has four teeth.

Oh yeah, it disappears. Oh no. It's way too many knuckles. That would be one, two, three, three. Yes, the Halloween section at all of our favorite favorite stores has been so overtaken with AI. It's literally crazy. Like all the art, not all, allegedly. Some of the art that you put on the walls, like the canvas art, or even some of like the wood art or the mugs. Like I remember last year, I think it was last year.

It was like kind of went viral because Michael's had this picture of like this ghost, you know, guy, like a cloak and he had wolves. But it was so fucking obviously AI and there was like a little Chachabit logo or something on it even. Yeah, I had like a watermark on it. And that went viral because there is so much AI art. And I'm like, are we just past the point of caring anymore? Like, are people just expecting everything to be fake? I mean, it seems as though.

And actually, okay, this isn't code orange related, but it's tying in so perfectly to something that I did want to talk about in regards to people not caring if certain things are AI. But Tyga, we're all probably familiar with Tyga, but he just recently put out an album called Starface. and the whole thing allegedly. No one's proved yet, but it's just AI generated. And it's all 80s music and it's all very weird. The lyrics, like, I played some of it on the way here because I was just doing little research on it. And Sandy's like, who's this?

I was out of it's Tiger. She's like, no, it's not. It sounds nothing like him. Nothing like him. But it leads you into thinking, like, one, AI music has probably been happening for a long time here. We just weren't aware of it. But now I think artists are just going to

start selling their likeness. And maybe this is even why we're seeing an uptick in people's catalogs being bought, their likeness being used, because they could just put the information and prompt into this software and create a whole album in like 10 minutes. And it's crazy because a while back we talked about a gentleman who used kind of a similar angle on Spotify was making millions of dollars and it all got taken down. So like where are we drawing the line here in AI art?

You know, like it's blatant. Well, Spotify now has a new plan. Oh. And because the rise of AI artists has taken over, this is actually the perfect segue to one of the craziest things I've ever seen. I'm going to expose some AI garbage for you. Oh my gosh. The best of all.

That artist is completely fake. It's all AI. And let's just quickly break down how much money this artist has made. These are just estimates, so I can't know for sure. But he has 14 million streams. streams on Spotify and at around $4,000 US dollars per million streams, that would land him somewhere around $60,000 just from his Spotify streams. And with 33 million views on his YouTube channel.

I just feel like I got to make it. Yeah, literally. Long form content, not short form. We could estimate another like 60,000 there. So that's $120,000 in the last five months alone. And that's not including streams from Apple Music and other distributors or from Facebook monetization or Instagram and TikTok views. That's just YouTube and Spotify.

Oh, wait. That's so smart. If you make music for a niche community, especially, like, Christian music or something, people that really love a thing. Turns to his chat TV TV. Make AI Christian music. I'm going to be rich next one. Christian music. Make a song about semen retention.

Okay. Here's the craziest part. Wow, I just said that. No. I didn't hear it. That face. Okay, I got one. Well, now we know.

Oh, I wasn't supposed to say it. I was supposed to wait until the end of it. Oh, wait a little long. Okay. You slip it in. Wait till we pass a little. He was waiting for it. Okay.

So this is where it gets juicy. Juicy? Right under the seam of retention. This is juicy, juicy, juicy? Is juicy a word? It was specifically juicy, juicy, juicy. I was going to say, you're getting cocky repeating it right after itself. I know.

Juicy and moist, two fun words. Juicy, juicy, juicy. What was that? Juicy, juicy, juicy, juicy meatball. Meatballs are Yeah It's too quick Look at what I

But see what I did was Very smart Because I got mine in And then I tricked people And thinking they can get theirs in Okay So now I'm in the car with Rylan

Right The only time I ever hear Like current hits Or current music Is in the car Because Rialin plays it And so I'm sitting there And I'm listening to this song

And I was like What? Like it sounded too familiar I'm not going to say Who it was Or who Because here's the other thing Like half the people that were on whatever playlist he was listening to were AI artists who all sounded like Justin Bieber or sounded like something else, which he's probably just liking all these fucking.

It's for sure. And they're serving it up. So now Spotify is doing a thing where they're putting like AI, you know. Oh, like label or something. But I don't know where it's going to be on the page because it is so crazy now. Like I guarantee you, if you hear a new song and you don't know who the artist is and the song is so catchy and almost. familiar, literally look into it. They're probably AI and it's getting crazy.

And also, I mean, remember we talked about this like a year ago that they're like putting AI in the playlist. So they've been doing that, saving money. And now that they're getting exposed like it's coming out. I don't understand how anyone that makes something with AI can have the rights to it because you didn't make it. I know. Yeah, you just type something into a thing.

Exactly. So it's like, why do you have rights to a program that stole from other artists? You now, oh, it doesn't make any sense. I don't know if you guys saw the whole. whole like book scanning that you see that whole thing like Anthropic one of the big AI companies they've been they've been telling their aist to just scan read books read books everything online read all these books online but now we're at a point where there's so much AI slop and all the online stuff that these companies are buying rare books from used bookstores and they these people there's a

they found this whole warehouse full of just rare books and they're scanning them and burning them because they're so because it's the only thing they and it's like books it has to be books published before a certain date because it's guaranteed he'd not AI. And so that just shows you how much slop is out there. Because it became the AI, I started training itself on other AI slop. And they were like,

okay, well, then how do we get proven human made things to train the AI? We're just going to read these old books. But we don't want our competitors to scan these books. So we're going to buy these rare books and then start like burning them. In these bookstores, like they figured out because these random used bookstores are like,

why do we have an order for like $40,000? Like all our stuff is going to like, you know, Silicon Valley. And then eventually it came out. They like found out that these employees were talking. We have this secret project to just scan books. How good for the bookstores, though.

I guess. There's a lot of them are struggling. The right side. It's a little bit short-term because it immediately is. How about to open a vintage bookstore? Oh, yeah. You have to maybe incorporate some Rylund-isms during the episode. So next time we talk about a horrible AI thing, get the positive.

Oh, yeah, that's right. If it sounds good, I'm all for it. Well, I'm just going to load up my Kendall. Well, speaking of companies using AI, I promise we'll move out of AI. We talk about it probably a little too much, although we should be. But this is actually kind of crazy. So, yes, we've talked about Code Orange and all the AI code orange slop. I have now noticed in the real world, not just in stores, pretty much everywhere.

For example, in my neighborhood, we have signs that somebody made where it's like, you know, fire awareness or something. And it's like explaining how you should look out for fires, which is good. But it's literally the most chat TV-D generated image I've ever seen. And I was like, okay, I gave them a pass, though. They're trying to do something good. Then I drive by all the stores. And I'm seeing every new store that's popping up. The logo is so fucking chat-GVT.

And I'm like, okay, I'm starting to get a little more annoyed. Then I saw one of our favorites, Buckees. Oh, no. Not Bussies. So here's a couple pictures. of Bucky's gas station area. And I'm gonna let you decide if you notice anything. Yeah, so this is the new art they're putting on the gas station.

You guys. So cute. Bucky the fever. Wow. Look at him. That looks maxy. But then if you look a little closer on the side, it says stop till up pump. Oh, no.

With a period after each thing. And then if you look a little closer. I got a skeddattle. That's a word. That's a word. I already said mine. Damn. See this little like, see all the numbers are starting to look weird.

It's all fuck. You compare it to the actual logo and it doesn't make any sense. It'd be super cool if they messed up the gas prices. It's only a dollar. My favorite new one though. So, Buckees, listen, we're going to give you a pass because I like your weird popcorn thing you make. Well, and they also have. Two and five Canadians will hear the words.

you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcf walk.ca. Have this cherry pies are delicious. Everything is so good.

Yeah. But this one really made me laugh. Please dodge. Ran? Whatever. Don't sue me. This shit made me laugh so hard. Look at the pictures for the merch that they are selling on their actual website,

which is for their car lovers, right? Like, they're lovers of their specific cars. Have you seen this? No. What vehicle do you see on that shirt? It says Ram, but it looks like a Tacoma. Yeah. This is Tacoma.

This was a shirt on Ram's website. Are you serious? 100% serious. Are you serious? That's a Tacoma. It is a Tacoma with the rampage on there. And it's on a shirt and you can buy it on Dodgers website for $30. Although if you managed to get one before they took it down, I'm sure it's worth a lot more than that now.

Yeah, they took it down. I think we, wow, and it even has the Toyota logo. They didn't even try to put a Dodge logo. If they put a Dodge logo, you might think, oh, that's something cool that might be coming soon. But we need to create a bill, get it passed. I mean, we've created so many weird laws. Good luck. That's what we gotta do.

AI should not be used in art, music, anything, and no profit shall be made off of AI. Period. Facts. I mean, I'm just saying, but that will never happen. But also a company like Dodge, who has so much money, just pay someone to make your art. I mean, scandal. Same with Buckies, too. Buckys is doing so well. And there it is.

And there it is. I actually, like, that makes me infuriate. It makes me so upset. Spend a little bit of your fortune to make a shirt right. Are you joking me? It makes me violently. And I really hate like a bunch of restaurants are using it for their stuff now too. I know.

I've seen so many. Because like when you use ChatGBTGBT to make a photo with title, it always has the exact same font like looking title. And yeah, similarly, there's like an area near me where there's like 10 smaller restaurants nearby and all of them had the exact same looking banners. They had like burgers and things. things that were like crumbly and digitized and looked fake and like when you order the food it looks completely different than what's on the banner and like some of them even had like

the names wrong because AI sucks with text so it'd be like tea tree tree or like big bun buns or like big you know and stuff like that and it's like what big buttons but sounds delicious is that a word well i think what this there has to be that's good that was good that was really good wow that was really good wow i'm sorry i picked it out no no what's the most embarrassing about this is that there has had to go through like multiple people for approval and no one caught it. And it's like the people buying your, like they own the truck. Yeah. They know what it looks like.

Don't know. Go to the fucking fair. But for the record is so funny. I watch like, you know, ordinary adventures to go to the OC fair and stuff. And they and they pointed out every food truck, every like sign like everything is so fucked up and AI and everything's spelled wrong. So I saw this hideous AI poster and crazy and like. 10 fingers, like, it's crazy.

I get more mad at Dodge doing it. I don't think anyone should do it, but like, I get it more for, like, a mom and pop restaurant just because it's like, well, you can just do graphic design without having to pay someone if you're like, you know, economies are rough right now, but like, still don't do it, but especially when it doesn't even look like the thing you're selling. I know, I know. I know. I think right now, though, a good marketing play would be we don't use AI and to promote that.

To really, like, use that as a cornerstone of your pitch. But I mean, you know, then again, you're competing with so many people. Well, speaking of fucked up hands? Yeah, kind of. You don't have a transition. This is the fingerprint theory. And oh my God, this might be one of my favorite ones I've ever heard. And it's because it ties into something we've been talking about, which is the idea that AI creates these stupid trends on TikTok and Instagram to, you know, that trend where, you know, you say the same phrase in a bunch of different.

emotions and the reason is so AI can learn how to, you know, emote this one, uh, there might be a reason why some of the most trendy poses we've had over the last five years involve your fingers. Take a look. I'm wearing gloves for this one and I'm going to need you to stay with me because AI can now steal fingerprints from a photo taken from five feet away, 10 feet away and he could still recover about half the print. This isn't theoretical. In China, a researcher did a live demonstration on TV and in 2025, criminals tried to use a photo that someone posted to get into the smart lock on their home. Now, I know what you're thinking.

How do I delete this app? I'm right there with you. But good news, this would have to be a highly targeted attack. So your brunch selfie, probably fine. Also, the quality of the photo, the blur, the lighting, all of that's important. But if you notice, peace signs, thumbs up and the little hearts going into retirement, now you know why. Oh my God.

I didn't think about that. Yes. I know. Okay, I know. Oh my God. And ever since the internet started, right, with MySpace, it was. Yeah. Which I'm bringing back.

But it's this, right? Yeah. Fucking fingerprints. And then the next one, it's this. Yeah, which is literally thumbprint. Because it's like taking away this. You don't see it. Because you don't see thumbs in this one.

Oh, but now we need the thumb. So what do we do? I was reading a whole thing about this too where it's even kind of more dangerous than password stuff because a password gets compromised. You can change your password at it, make it super long, make it really hard to break. This is never changing. Oh, my God. As soon as when it's, they have it, they have it.

It would be very smart to invest in gloves right now. Right. Any company making gloves? No, no, no, not buying them. I'll invest in a company. Yeah, I want you to buy them, but I want to invest in who's selling them to you. Gloves are the move. Whoa!

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So because of all this AI taking over, we've talked about, you know, data centers. This is the data center theory. This one I'm a little nervous to even talk about. But I feel like, so I'm going to say this is just a theory. Ha ha ha, he. It's not real. It's just an idea. It's funny.

The theory is that all of these data centers that are popping up in very rural areas. Rule, rural. Ro-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r. All these rurrrrrrrr-r-rars are having these data centers pop up. And they're huge, right? And the whole idea is that these data centers use so much water, so much power. Every time you use AI or JadjibD or something, so much water is used and so much powers use and these data centers, they're all using all this power. But the theory is that these data centers might actually not be for that.

These data centers may actually be harvesting power because they're going to be the main source of power for all the underground bunkers across the world that the billionaires are going to fucking hide in once everything explodes. That's on my list. Really? Yeah, yeah. I looked a little bit of research on that. Bring it to me because I fell down the rabbit hole about this and I was like, listen, just a theory, but this makes so much sense because, yes, I'm sure there are data centers that are, you know, actually powering AI and stuff, but then they could just make

fucking fake ones and be like, oh, it's a data center, but it's actually just a big generator for all these underground bunkers, which they are allegedly building. I just saw a quick clip about alleging that this could be the case, but a couple of things, well, one, you said like water, I believe these data centers use about a billion gallons of water a year. And it's sad because all the neighboring counties are pretty much mud is coming out of their faucets because they're taking all of the water. But I mean, in order to power an underground city, and that's why it's very plausible, you would need something massive. Like the van that we travel in, for instance, we could plug into power. But if we don't plug

into power, we have to use a generator. So that's what they're saying the data centers are, as they're massive generators in order to power these underground cities that could basically, who knows, how's a million people or so? But our generator, to put it in reference, would be the size of like a large duffel bag maybe, something like that. And that is just enough to run air conditioning, a microwave, and that's for two people. So imagine the size generator you would need to power a million people worth of resources. It would be astronomical.

So the only way it would even make sense is if you had generators that were that large. Like all over the country. All over the country. And there's no way that everyone on Earth is going to be able to live in these things. So like what is the ultimate player? Is it like a day after tomorrow thing? Is there a lottery? And you don't need actors or filmmakers or singers or anybody to make entertainment because AI will make it for you.

Oh. Yeah. So maybe like because technology is at the, God. That's us. Because like technology is at the point where like, do they really need something that big for AI? Like I recently, I don't know the schematics of it, but I recently just saw that you could get an SD card, a micro SD card that's one terabyte. That's crazy. Like, how do you get one terabyte?

Like, why does my phone have 40 gigs on it? You know, and it's out of storage every day, but a microSD card has one terabyte more than probably your laptop. Definitely. So, like, technology has gotten to a place where they can get things so tiny that I don't understand why they would need a billion gallons of water for me or anyone. else to ask it a dumb question or paint a stupid orange code red you know or with the underground thing it makes me think of i keep thinking of predictive programming now since you put that idea in my head and uh did i you did well but it's interesting it's really interesting because with the underground thing in uh the latest fantastic four starring poppy

pascal um the way they save spoiler the way they save the people is by getting everyone in the city and using the like mold people or whatever and they literally bring the city underground so like that movie is preparing everyone to go underground. Oh, we can't spoil it, Chris. Spoiler alert. Oh, yeah, Riley always does that. I'm so sorry, Ryan. He does always do that.

You're not going to watch that. I wasn't going to watch it, but don't spoil it for everybody else. Well, honestly, all I kept thinking was, well, at least you wouldn't get sunspots underneath it. You know what I mean? That is, okay, another thing. The whole time we were talking, it's like, no sunspots. But on top of that, you're just thinking about entertainment.

What about food? Well, luckily, we can grow everything in the lab today. Yay! So maybe these data centers are generators for power slash maybe some kind of power for AI to be able to produce entertainment. And then they're portioned off for meat. So they're doing everything. Listen, I'm about to go down the fucking rabbit hole right now. Strap in.

Because every single thing we have talked about over the last 10 years is all leading up to this idea. And we just talked about it, but the idea is they are preparing, the elites, the billionaires, whatever, the people that run the earth, just a theory. It seems as if they really are preparing everything to be underground. Like we just said, the fact that now the whole goal is we only want to eat processed foods, we want to scare everybody away from produce so that we don't have to actually grow food. Great, we don't need to grow food. We're underground. We don't have the sun. We can't grow food. We need a lab to grow it. Perfect. We figured it out. Okay, we want to make AI entertainment so we don't have to actually hire people to make things.

Now underground, we have movies, TV, music, books. We have everything we need to be entertained for the rest of our lives. Great, check, got it. Okay, well, now what if people start realizing what we're doing underground or start to see that we're doing all these things? Let's distract them. Let's go to space. Let's send celebrities up to space. Let's talk about how Mars is the future.

We want to go to Mars when actually we're all getting ready to go underground. Like it almost just feels like everything is leading toward that's where we're going to go. And if Chris just said that's what a new movie was about was people living underground. It's all connecting. And how do you get away from the aliens? A scary, scary aliens go underground. Oh my gosh, there's going to be war. There's going to be nukes.

There's going to be this. Perfect. Let's go underground. It's all getting us ready for it. Didn't some scientists just come out like strongly urging people like saying that by in the near future, maybe you can Google it, Spencer, saying that like in the near future we need to basically cut the population in half. Didn't they just say that?

Didn't they just come out? I think the Georgia guide stones are like, but like very, very recently. Yeah, you're right. Scientists say Earth must cut population down to four billion. By when? Does it say by when they want this to happen? 2,200. 2,200.

Okay. So quite a while away. But I mean, that's also losing four billion people. So, yeah. Who owns, like, if I build an underground bunker, is the land underneath the land? Like, can I now? own that? Like, for example, could I

name it Shane Nation? Would you own land? It was a word. It was a word. I was like, I was wondering how you were to fit that. I was wondering how you were going to fit that way. I was going to say, wow. Thank you. It was pretty good. I think if you could

think we're just confused. I don't really all looked at him like, what? You sound so benical because I call it, Shane Nation. It made me my whole body cringe. But this all has me pretty shook. It almost makes me on a watch Blast from the past.

Write down some notes and start building a bunker. Right. No, well, it's just me, but I mean. It's just me. She's like, I love it. Yeah. Something about that chair. It's the chair.

All right. Well, you know what else they're doing underground allegedly? Well, I guess they stopped. Was CERN where they were trying to shift us allegedly into another day. dimension or parallel universe or that could be the ultimate power plant. Oh, whoa. Or like proof of concept. Oh my God.

This is another fingerprint thing to get the other fingers. I guess. Um, okay. Okay. I'm going to show you a picture of somebody and you tell me what their name is. All right. Okay. Oh, oh.

Oh, the, um, is the name, uh, I can't remember his name. Joel Olstein. Joel Olstein, right? Yeah. Joel Olstein. That is his name. I have seen this guy for, I mean, I have seen him on TV, on billboards. Like, I think mom has one of his books. Like, I have seen this guy. I know his name. It is Joel Olstein. That is his name, but no. His name is Joel Osteen. Oh, there's no well. We can be living in different dimensions. And everyone thought it was

Olstein. Did you guys at home leave a comment? I literally, I would put money on it. If somebody put those two names next to each other, I'd be like, oh, it's It's literally Olstein. And now, no, it's never been Olstein. It's always been Osteen. Okay. So that's the first new Mandela. That one I had never heard before. So that one shook me a little bit. This next one actually made me angry because, and I even looked into it. I'm like, okay, how is this one real? Do you guys remember the old show? The Witched? I don't know why I said it's a weird. The Witched. Yeah. I mean, I didn't see a lot of it. And then they made the movie with Cole Kidman. And I think there's a cartoon at some point. But it's, you know, about this witch. She's a housewife and she does little like spells. Does anybody remember how she. She casts her little spells. The twitching of the nose, right?

Yeah. Yeah, it was like, clinging. Yeah. No. Allegedly, from what everybody in the internet saying, is she cast spells by moving her lips. What? Is that just talking?

That's bullshit. That's not what? That's true. What? These are, even on the cartoon at the end, she wiggles her little nose. You know what I just realized?

What? Should we ask mom what that guy's name is? Because if she's says Olste. If she has the book, she should know, right? It's on the cover. Okay. And then ask her about bewitched. Okay. Okay, mom, we're recording the podcast, so you're on right now. Oh my gosh, the pressure. Hello. Um, okay. So I have two questions for you. Are you ready? Yes. So you know the famous evangelist? He's an evangelist. He's an evangelist. He's an evangelist. Joel. His name is Joel. He does big live shows. You might have one of his books. You know him?

Joel. Joel Osteen. Wait, how do you say it? Joel Osteen. Wow. All right, redo. Okay, we all thought it was Olstein with an L. Oh, she's like, you're not very smart. You idiots?

John Osteen. So she's in a different dimension. Maybe she's wrong. Okay, second one, on the show Bewitched, be witch. Why do we keep saying it weird? On the show, be witch. How did she cast her little spells? By twitching her nose.

Yes. Okay. We thought. She came through. But they're saying she never twitched her nose. She only twitched her mouth. No. She's shook.

I mean, gosh, now I'm questioning my entire life. That's this podcast in a nutshell. That's the point. All right. Well, if we think of any more, we'll call you. I love you. Love you. Okay, we're going to cut that.

She's wrong. Not getting that. But she also remembered the nose twitch. But yeah, yeah, okay. That has to be it. I just looked at, I looked up the nose switch and it is apparently true. And then someone says the only thing I can think is it's almost impossible to twitch your nose from side to side without moving your mouth. So maybe they're saying the mouth just moves because the nose twitch.

So are they not just focusing on the nose or just focusing on the mouth? Maybe we're focusing on the wrong thing. This is Willy Wonka all over again. I can't do this. I can't do this. Well, speaking of things that pissed me off, wow. So remember we talked about the fact that they're changing the laws allegedly, but I think they are, to where they can really monitor you while you're driving.

They can really allegedly watch you. There's cameras now and the steering wheels allegedly for certain cars, for newer cars. They can track how fast you're driving, what kind of music you're listening to, allegedly to see what your emotional state is allegedly. It's very scary. But this video, just take a look. My favorite part about the new Volvo XC90 is that if you don't log in, you start your car and you just have to click, not now, not now, not now, then not now, not now, there. Now we can drive. Crazy!

They just need to make sure they got his fingerprint. Yeah, for real. Crazy. Imagine being in a rush and being like, We have to go. We have to go. Okay, not now. Not now.

Like, what? It's so clearly to be like, well, just give us your information. Like, it's so annoying. Just give us your information. We'll track you. We'll associate it with your Google. Whatever.

Well, yes. So that was a very interesting update. This next theory, I don't quite know what the theory is. And I don't think the girl that made it even knows. We're in the same page. But we're on to something. Because I was thinking about this too. Spencer, can you show me the water theory?

That's merch. We're on to something. Is that merch or the word? No. That would have been good. I think they're putting something in the water or taking something out of the water. I don't know. There's some kind of conspiracy going on.

Because tell me why. We genuinely did not use to drink this much water. And if you go somewhere where there's a lot of old people, they don't have water bottles. And we didn't used to back in the day. As a kid, it was rare that you had a reusable water bottle. that you'd take to school. And if you did, you usually forgot it at home, and you would just get up and, like,

take a sip out of the drinking fountain once in a while. It's just wild, because I would never drink out of one of those now. Remember, you would go to the park, knowing that you're about to run around in the sun for hours, and you usually didn't even bring a water bottle. You would literally drink out of the gross hot water fountain at the park, and you would avoid it because it was gross and hot, so you just, like, didn't really drink much water.

What happened? Because now we all have a big-ass water bottle that we carry around everywhere, and we're drinking from it all day, every day, and we're still thirsty. And this is coming from someone who drinks like higher quality water. Like I'm in trying to... First of all, I agree.

Because before my Stanley craze, right? I'm in, okay. Two and five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation walk. Challenge yourself,

friends and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcf walk.ca.com.com. Well, this is more of a steward, really. But I'm in the craze, right? I got my Stanley. I started thinking, I counted the other day. I'm drinking like seven of these a day. Wow, good for you.

No, that's too much. I think it's too much. So, okay, so today already I've had three, right? It's only 3 p.m. I've had three of these, and I'm like, this doesn't seem normal to me. And I think what she said, yeah, when I would go to school, I didn't bring water at all. Like, I didn't have water bottles. I would just drink little things out of the fountain and that's it.

I would barely have water. So why do I now need seven of these to survive? I thought this one I went to warp tour because I remember I've gone to warp tour like my whole life, basically. And the last one I went to, we're all like much older now. So I was like, is this just an older thing? Because all of us had like, you know those like backpacks where it's just water? It's just like it filled with water a little bit. All of us had those.

Everyone there had. Everyone had sunscreen and those backpacks filled with water and we were all chugging water and there's like water refill stations and we're all refilling our backpacks like between sets and stuff. We're all drinking an insane amount of water. So I'm like, I was like maybe that's just an old thing. We're old and we need water. I don't know. Here's what I will say.

It is interesting that the craze comes around in the last 10 years where it's like, You need to have a big fucking bottle bigger. And now we're also used to it. We're drinking so much water. Our body thinks we need this much water. That is interesting that now 10 years ago, I would drink, I don't know, a couple of glasses a day. And now I'm drinking, you know, seven. I'm drinking enough for a data center.

Yesterday. A data center human day. Yesterday, I just keep water bottles around my house just sort of filled, but I don't always know when the last time I filled it was. Usually I just trust it and it's fine. But I drank one. Perfect. Yeah. Oh, I learned my lesson.

My God, you peed in it. No, no, not that bad. Someone else peed in it. I was like, oh, I was taking medicine in the morning, and I usually have a water bottle next to bed. I had an old one, and I was like, there's a little bit left, I'll use it to be, and I like, and I like, and then I felt like I swallowed three pills.

And then I looked in it, and it was like little lumps of mold, and I kicked so hard. Did you grow up? I get so hard. I was like, what? And then I was like, all right, I'm fine. You left it in? Well, I mean, my stomach.

It's gonna kill it. Let me ask you a question though. Have you gotten sick since then? No, and that was a fake story. My word was gagged. Oh, I do do that though. Wow. That is good one.

Thank you. Well, speaking of little rabbit holes, I'm gonna call this. That's great timing. I'm gonna call this a fuckhole. I'm sorry? Is that a word? Yeah.

Fuckhole? So I know, sorry. Yours we lost tonight to come up with them last minute. That was maybe the worst one. Well, this is kind of a brain fuckhole, mind fuck hole. No, it's not. It's literally not. It's just something I thought was interesting.

Okay, so The Simpsons. So we all know The Simpsons intro, right? Yeah. Okay. So it's, you know, Maggie and Marge and they're at the store and they're rushing. And then Dad, Palmer is rushing home from work and Bart's rushing home from school and Lisa's rushing home. Like, they're all rushing, rushing, rushing, rushing through the day, right?

And then they all end up on the. couch together to watch TV. It's like such a cute intro. It's iconic. But then I read this article where it was like, people are missing the meaning behind the Simpsons intro. The whole idea is we are all rushing through life and not even noticing anything. We're just rushing through life with the sole goal of just getting in front of the TV and doing nothing.

And I was like, it's genius, but I was like that's literally the point. They're literally ignoring like danger and like everything. It's like, who cares, who cares? Who cares? Who cares? We got to get home. We got to get home to watch TV and do nothing. Wow. Watch Simpsons. Wow.

That is really good. Anyways. Okay. Part two of my fuckhole. It's a versatile fuckhole. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's a pretty aggressive word now that I hear it out loud. It's pretty aggressive.

Okay. This is how brands manipulate us. I thought this was very interesting because we talked about the idea of brands using colors or, you know, movie posters using certain colors to make a sense. feel certain things to get our money. I've never seen it broken down like this. So red. The color red is used by brands to create a sense of urgency.

So that's why fast food brands use red. Soda companies use red. Streaming services use red. And they use it to make you act before you even think. They want to hijack your brain and get you to buy it and get you to think about it without even thinking because there's a sense of urgency in it, which I thought was interesting because then I started falling down the rabbit hole of all the brands that use red. And there is a sense of urgency.

So then what would blue be? Do you have any thoughts? Calm. Calm. Calm. Relax. Cool. Water.

Calm and safety. Trustworthiness. We talked about this with pop music before where a lot of female artists will use light blue because they want to create a sense of you can trust them. That's right. They could be your friend. There's a trustworthy. Police. Huh?

Cops. Oh. Whoa. Urgent and trustworthy. Urgent and trustworthy. Okay. PayPal. Facebook.

Venmo. Visa, Venmo. Pretty much any app that involves you having to put your money in, they use blue because they want you to feel like you can trust it. What do you think green symbolizes? Money. Money. Plants.

Garden. Green symbolizes. Fresh. Fresh. Fresh. Fresh. Natural. Natural.

Healthy. Of the earth. So companies like Whole Foods, Subway, Subway, Starbucks, all the new salad chains that are popping up. Anything that makes you think it's fresh, jump, oh, it's fresh, it's healthy. I can trust it. It's of the earth.

It's all natural. What does black symbolize? Like, limited. I think, yeah, like luxury. Luxury. Yes. You guys are good, yes. Premium, exclusive, luxurious, and more expensive,

you can do an upcharge. So if there's a brand that uses black primarily in their logo, Chanel, Rolex, Apple, the black card. Anything that involves the color black, a lot of designer brands, Blenciaga. Panxpress.

I would say that's more of a red one. Pandas are just black and white. But that orange chicken is pretty luxurious. I mean, you get the little tidbits of crunch. Airwan, that's a black logo. And you kind of, and I will agree,

Mark Jacobs, my little makeup pack. When you see the color black, you do think luxurious. Look at your O'Wala. I would pay 50 bucks for that. Yeah, I think I did. Also, I think it gives you the sense of like, they don't need to impress me with the logo, with the color. This is sleek.

Sleak. It's about the product. What do you think yellow symbolizes? This one's a little complicated. Hunger. Piss. I think it makes you hungry. That's why Subway is green and yellow because it's fresh and you want to eat it.

Their theory is that it grabs your attention. and that it's supposed to make you feel happy and friendly. And excited. And excited, right? My theory is because all the examples they give, Best Buy, IKEA. Like, they're giving a lot of examples of places that I personally get overwhelmed in. And I'm thinking, oh, is the idea like, this brand is really complicated and overwhelming? So they use yellow to make you feel, like, happy.

Yeah, right. It's almost like, ignore all the instructions. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a happy place. Oh, minions. Minions. Indians are very complicated but happy. Do they test other colors for minions?

I wonder. Okay. White. What do you think white symbolizes? Clean. Clean. Pure. Pure.

Literally clean, minimal and high end. Minimal, yeah. So they can charge more if a product is white. It also is minimal and clean and high end. So like Tesla, Apple, Glacier, which is like a pretty nice luxury skincare makeup. up. La Mare. Like any brand that is specifically white and they try to keep all their branding too white, probably charges a little bit more. Ironically, you buy white things and they get the dirtiest. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God, you're right. It's hard to keep white clean. Okay, last one. Brown. I mean, like earthy. Like stable? Like the earth? Like it's not moving. You're so almost there. But yes. Brown makes a brand feel earthy. Honest.

Honest. Handmade. Ooh, handmade. Even if it's a mass produced product, it will make it feel more natural if the packaging is brown. For example, Hershey's, UPS, honest, of the earth.

Hershey's of the earth, handmade. But there's so many brands that use brown that I was thinking about. I'm like, oh yeah, that's so funny. Like Chipotle, look at that napkin. Hold that up. Yeah, you're right.

It's of the earth. It's natural. It's trustworthy. It's handmade. They would. Never skip out on it. Every, like, menu at a juice place is always, like, wood. It's always, like, brown and, like, green and brown.

Yes. So that's my little fuckhole for the day. That's your rainbow fuckle. We're back in the Carn AdVille. Wow. Well, luckily, there is a live show happening right now at the Carn Ad Bowl, and it's your favorite artist, and they're on stage, but you didn't get tickets. And now it's too late. You know how you could have saved this from happening.

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Bye. Jared, what's the segment we haven't done in a while that involves a theme song about a cooter? Vagina. No way. And how does it go? Viewers are great. I need another. Don't we have a theme song?

We do. I don't even know where that would be. We need another, we love a monkey sex. We're singing. Each other. I don't know. B-A-G-I-N-A. Bagina.

Okay, this first one, this is so funny. Okay, this is from Laura in Ireland. Hi, I, Ireland. Hi, Laura. Okay, hey, Shane and Gang. Literally had to drive her on the block to go back and take a photo of this. I could not believe what I had seen unless she put this picture of this van.

And it's, Shane Dawson plumbing. No way. What is that? Isn't that crazy? Wow. You never told us about your side. You know, I have little side things.

And I use the color blue and white because it's luxury and it's trustworthy. Can we bring Shane Dawson on the Shane Dustin podcast? Yes. Can we do a pot? Can we do just a plumbing podcast? We'll figure it out. A plum cast. Okay.

This next one was from Kayla. Hey, SDP. Kayla here. I'm just going to be real. I've been watching Shane for 10 years. Oh, thank you. I love the podcast and I love you all, but I'll get to the point.

You all recently went over how our devices are listening to us, and I just had to let you know that I was scrolling TikTok, and I let out a casual fart, no big deal. And I kid you not, two scrolls later. I get a post on my For You page, and the title reads,

when you're hanging out with your HG home girl. So boom, conspiracy confirmed. Shane, you are correct. So correct. that I had to run an email to the podcast about my fart at 3 a.m. That is all. Hope you enjoyed my story.

Don't fart while scrolling TikTok unless you want to get bullied. It just made me less. Honest. And as a plumber. That actually is so funny and so true because if they are listening, they're hearing everything. The algorithm just hears, oh, center fart, sin of farts. It sounds like a home girl farting right now. Is this a conspiracy fan video?

It's like if someone got a fart, all right, start scrolling TikTok. I should have started screenshotting, by the way, because that has been happening, not with farts, but with things so often recently to where it's just comical. It's crazy. It's getting crazy. It's getting so bad. I'm still getting fucking towel ads. I know. So many people wrote in after that video like, hey, thanks Shane.

All I'm getting his fucking towel ads now. I think it's weird, though, because we went to Monterey. I'm getting like a bunch of humpback whales. Oh. That was the word. Wait, yours is humpback whale. Just humpback. Good job.

Wow. I can't help but to gloat. I can't help but to gloat. Okay. This next one is very, very scary. This is called the human Wi-Fi theory. For educational purposes only. Here is the Microsoft patent to turn you into the internet of bodies.

In order to make a human Wi-Fi. capable. You have to have salt, an electrical current, and a lot of metals. You are an electrical being with salt. You need salt to survive on a cellular level. And now you're full of heavy metals.

You are a perfect Wi-Fi router. All they have to do is crank up the 6G. And a lot of you are going to have horrific side effects from these metals. Because what happens when you put metal into a microwave? Oh, fuck. Okay. Okay. This, I mean, why are we drinking so much?

water because we're the fucking data centers. Are they? Okay, here's part two of this, right? If they do want to turn us into Wi-Fi, which by the way, if they do that, well, we finally have bars. Yeah, yeah. It'll be like flock where it's like, we can catch anything. He's like, you have it, well, not for you.

You don't have any service. If all the fucking. If we have eight billion Wi-fyes, why do I not have service? But anyways. So if they do want to turn us all into Wi-Fi, right? Okay, it makes sense. Scary, terrifying, but makes sense. How are they going to do it?

This brings us to something. I heard about recently that scared the fuck out of me called Smart Dust. Jared, can you please break down what the fuck Smart Dust is? So Smart Dust is something, it was theorized in the 90s in UC Berkeley by some scientists. And what it is, it's like little tiny pieces within a millimeter large, like a grain of sand. But what they do is they have sensors in them as well as cameras. And initially the idea was to be used in war.

So they could basically get a drone, drop off this smart dust in battlefield areas, and they would be able to predict where enemies are coming from, basically the migrations of the other troops and whatnot. And what they're saying is because they will be ingested by humans. We will breathe them in. They will get on our skin. But now they're saying the benefits of this smart dust are going to be in our bodies. They could actually like know what's going on. So for medical health, you know, like for health insurance, doctors right away is like, oh, well, we got Jared SmartDust saying that he has this going on in his body.

So they could diagnose you earlier pollution. So in the air, they could actually trace pollution going on. So they could say like, okay, there's an excess of pollutants in this area because we monitored it with smart dust. Also the sound waves, like they could hear undetectable sound going on. So they're trying to pose it as a very safe thing that they have millions and billions of little particles that can actually record us. and they could get into our bodies. But no, it's okay, though, because, well, I mean, you would have to. They're little tiny pieces of dust.

Like nanotechnology. They could travel over 100 meters in soft wind. But the scary part is that the same team created something called stem dust. So what this is, it's a little bit larger, still pretty undetectable. But the goal is to actually work as a nerve stimulant. So it can control nerves within your body. And in order to test how this is going, They put one on a rat, and they were actually able to make the rat's legs move.

No. Without the rat doing anything. So, like, if the idea is, what if you ingest or what if, I'm just saying, what if lab-grown meat has stem dust in it? Just a theory. Or, all this water that we're drinking has stem dust in it. They could actually... Two and five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar rinket.

raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcf walk.ca.ca.com.com. Control you, and like maybe you're walking close to a cliff one day. And maybe you just walk off of it. And that's the stem dust. But it's just a way to control. And they need to get half of us out of here. But even your brain.

Like, let's say you're starting to have a thought that's kind of straying away from the agenda. It's like, oh, I got a pounding headache right now, you know? Like, they could control so many aspects of your life through this stuff. And the crazy thing is it's all funded by DARPA that we've talked about before. I mean, these are the people responsible for creating the internet, drones. And one of the things that they created at one point, which could still be happening, are cyber insects. And this is a picture of a cyber insect.

They strap a backpack onto it and they use it for surveillance. And also for like things this, you know, smart dust could do. But look at that. What? That's crazy. It's a bee with a backpack. It's the bee real? The bee is real.

So they get these insects. They harvest them. It isn't that hard to farm bees. And they strap these little backpacks and they're used for surveillance. Like again, to our point where technically. technology has gotten so small, like, you know, the first computer, I believe, took up a whole warehouse. Yeah. And that computer was able to process like 0.8 seconds of a TikTok.

That's it. It was like nothing. It could just do basic math and hold very minimal data. Now there's dust that could actually communicate with each other and store information that is passed on through the internet through Wi-Fi. But yes, how are they going to get Wi-Fi connections everywhere? us. You know what's crazy? We actually have a video about a mosquito drone. Mosquito-sized drones. Are you freaking kidding me? So China just came out and revealed that they have mosquito-sized drones. Little drone

flies that's meant for silent surveillance and for covert military. Whoa. Like we are so cooked. And America has them too. They're just not as tiny. We got back back. Can you imagine the spying that is about to take place real soon? And remember when people used to talk about how like, Like, some birds could possibly not be real. Like, they were probably fake and they were meant to spy on us. It turns out they probably weren't so far off, huh? My gosh. Nash is wild.

Let me know what you think in the comments. So when I brought up the robot birds at Disney and you all laughed at me. No, no, no. Here's a thing. That's interesting. I was about to say that. Because years ago, maybe like, maybe 10 years ago, whenever I originally started doing conspiracy videos, one of the first viral ones was birds are fake.

Birds are fake. Birds are fake. Birds aren't real. Birds aren't real. And it was like, they're actually drones. They're not real. And it really took over. And then the people that created that conspiracy came out and said, actually, this was a social experiment. We were just kidding. Like, we created this. It's not real. Now 10 years later, I'm thinking, or was that a distraction to make us think that's so stupid and that's so crazy. Of course, birds are real. When there are actually bird drones out there. Because now there's fucking mosquitoes. They had to start somewhere. They probably started with birds and then it got smaller and smaller. Now we have backpacks on beach. Because now, if you tell someone, hey, I don't think birds are real. Oh, no, no, no. The guys who started that said it was a joke. Yeah, it's a joke.

But mosquitoes are interesting. Yeah, because, I mean, we're used to getting diseases. How do you get stim dust in your body? It has to be injected into you, possibly. If I kill a fucking mosquito and there's a computer on my arm, I'm scared. Yeah. Does anybody have any words left? Yeah, I still have two left.

Really? They're hard. Wow, taking your time, Spencer. I was trying to play a little. You guys were all jumping at it. I never did mine very soon or very quick into the game. I got some big scary balls, I'll tell you that. Oh, that's what.

And that's a lot. Okay. Well, this is the final theory before we play a game. And I'm going to slowly weed out this theory. Okay. Chickens. Okay. You look at a chicken.

Cable, gobble. All right? What are some common characteristics of a raw chicken? Raw? Pink? They're pink. My legs. The wings?

Little arms. Little baby arms. Chicken has these little baby arms, right? But obviously, they're not, you know, walking around using their little chicken arms. They have wings. They have wings, right? Dinosaurs.

So then you start thinking T-Rex. We're looking at the fossils and the bones. This is just neat. Yeah, yeah. And you see Little Arms. So now when we turn T-Rexes into movies and we draw T-Rexes, We just assumed that they're just these big T-Rexes with these little arms that have no purpose, right?

Yeah, that's true. Or did they have fucking wings and T-Rexes or dragons? Wow. I love that. I'm in on that one. Why do we look at a chicken without, if, if in a million years from now, somebody digs up a raw chicken. And they see the little arms, they're going to be like, oh, there's probably wings there, right? But how come when we dug up a T-Rex little chip arms, nobody's like,

I'm sure they were, but you know, nobody's like, well, what about maybe they have wings? Because they had feathers, we've heard. T.Rex has actually had feathers. So wouldn't it make sense that they also had wings and are actually dragons? I think what we have to look up right now, can you look up a chicken skull? Aren't chickens the closest? Because what if T-R-Xs were giant? What if they look just like chickens?

Okay. And they're giant chickens. My computer is listening because the first Google recommendation is chicken skull versus T-Rex. No fucking. Come on. Well, there's chicken skulls look like. That looks like a fucking dinosaur to me. That's a dude.

That's a T-Rex if I've ever seen one. It's just a T-Rex without teeth. See, it's like they open the mouth, but if you call it the mouth. Oh, that's a chicken is fuck. It's a big old chicken. They just put teeth in there. Well, on that note, I don't have a transition. We're going to play a game.

Red flags. That's right. I found this game at Barnes & Noble. Here is the card. If you can probably get this wherever games are sold by Grimmy. Rabbit games, shout out. But the way this game works, simple game, we have our good stuff and bad stuff.

So each round, one of us is going to be a single person. And these white cards are good qualities. And we're each presenting a person to take on a date. And so this person is going to have two good qualities and then you are going to give a bad quality

to the person to your left. It's like, kind of like cards against humanity. You want to like sort of sandbag them a little bit. And you want you're a person to be picked by the single person. So then we're going to have a debate. Do you guys understand the rules? Kind of, but I think we'll get it as we go along, as we go along. So I can be the first single person and we can go around.

We have to start with the white ones. You lay it down in front of you and you tell me your two qualities. You think I would like in a person I go on a date with. Oh, now I get it. Oh, so you're actually the single person? I'm the actual single person. You're all presenting me. I never got it until now.

And you're like giving me like a person on the bachelor. Like you're creating a person. woman for me who to go on a date with. Okay. So Jared, do you want to go first? We go left. Yeah. You have a pretty sensitive nose. Famously. Famously. Famously. So she's the best smelling person in the world. Okay.

Best smelling person in the world. The best. Okay. You could debate it, but you can't. She's the best. But you love music. Okay. You love music, dude. And she just happens at the voice of an angel. Okay. Wow. Well, unfortunately, her sex tape with Rylan just went viral.

Oh, my. That is bad. Hey, dude, she's DTF, bro. All right, Chris. What is your... I know you're a very smart guy who likes to read a book. And this person likes all the same favorite books.

Wow, that's annoying. That's annoying. That's annoying. Including stuff about Arctic exploration. Okay. Shout out of you. I like a book about that. You know, I like that book.

And this person, I know you want something serious. This person loves you unconditional. Oh wow. Yeah dude she sounds great. She likes the Arctic books. We're not even in debate mode yet We're just going around. Yeah, dude. She's she's all that stuff. You're just looking out for me. Yeah, I'm looking out for you because I was I was hanging out the other day and she was in the vicinity, dude. Really? Yeah, she was right there She's reading a book. I bet I liked it, but it was a ploy because what she was really trying to do is Bang all your friends, dude Oh

Oh no you're trying to bang me dude All of your friends. She's reading a book on how to bang him, dude. All right, my, Spencer, I know who you need. Okay, I know you like to eat. She's a professional chef. So, man, she's making you dinner, making a breakfast.

And we all know, like Jared said, you love music. We all know that. You love music. And that's why she's a lead singer of your favorite band. Whoa. Oh, my God. I mean, what more do you want? You know?

Wow, my favorite band that really changes my perspective on the lady. It's ironic that she's a professional chef, but also is allergic to all your favorite food. Oh, wow. She can make two dishes. She can make two dishes. It's true. She probably enjoys making multiple dishes as a professional. No.

She doesn't. She's very fruitful. Okay, Shane. Well, unfortunately, I can't use cooks all your favorite food anymore. But your parents love her. Okay. Love her. They love her so much, especially because she owns a unicorn.

Wow. Which could come in handy if you guys need money. Because she could sell it. Wow. Yeah. That's a very... Or rent it. That would make sense because, unfortunately, Spencer...

What is it? She's dead. Holy shit. Wow. That is a big downside. That got to be the golden goose card right there. She's dead. Yeah, that's like the Trump card. Okay. Wow. Okay. So these, I have some interesting for your parents love. Oh, she's on display. She's a ghost.

Oh, she's like, oh. Wow. Okay. So some interesting candidates here. Any, anyone have any strong feelings about other people's? Yeah, they're horrible. Pick my girl. Well, mine is a ghost who your parents love. And that means because she's a ghost, you guys can go anywhere and you only have to pay for one ticket. Okay, that's really strong. But she's not the lead singer of your favorite band. And she can make you your favorite dish. And what's the, what's bad with yours?

You know, she's just not a fan or she's allergic to all of your favorite foods, but it doesn't mean she can't make it for you. Dude, that's positive, though, because I mean she's not going to ask you for any of your food, and that's annoying. Okay, and Chris remind me one more time. So mine loves you. So you already forgot about her. Mine loves you unconditionally. Okay. Man has all your same favorite books.

And what's wrong with her? Constantly trying to bang your friends. Not a big deal. I'm going to ask that. That would be such a problem. That would be such a headache. Sandy, unfortunately, the food thing is big for me. Based on personal experience.

And I think I'm going to have to go with Shane because I think it would come up at work if she had fucked Freiland. There was a viral sex tape of it. All right. So Shane, you win this down. The ghost thing was a great save. Wow.

All right. I feel like we should do Chris next. Okay. Let's do a man. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. So this handsome man happens to be a supermodel. Oh, wow.

Wait, what size? Yeah, yeah, yeah. A plus size? There's plus size model, supermodels, guys, okay? Okay? And he's doing such a great job. He's actually a millionaire. Wow.

Big boy. Fuck it. Beautiful rich big boy. Oh my God. Well, no brainer. Fortunately, he only responds to all your texts with K. Ooh, that is bad. That sucks.

That's not great. Well, my guy looks exactly like Kevin James. Wow, you have a lot of blank ones. What? And my guy is also honest. Wow. Okay. I got to eat that.

Good luck, Jared. It is actually really unfortunate, though, because this guy also just wears diapers because it's more convenient. Dipers. So all day or not? Think about it. All day. This is what he is. So like rather than go to the restroom.

And so, yeah, no, you're on a long car. A long car ride. He's being so honest. You don't smell it. I don't want to stand over it. But you just hear a crinkle. No, you just hear. How do you not?

Oh, this. No, I know. It's great. You don't smell it. That means his. balls are in urine and poop just sitting in it that's true it's true it showers constantly sitting on a secret for sure it's Kevin James who gives a fuck well he looks like Kevin James well anyway that guy sounds whatever but this guy this guy actually owns a penthouse suite in your

favorite city which is of course I mean I've probably lost Angeles yeah he has one has one here but you don't need to go anywhere just stay in that penhouse What time is it? It's time for WarpTor's coming up. Does he want to go? Yeah. He wants to go with you because you have the same favorite music. Oh.

Which I know for you. Huge. Yeah. You have that meatloaf thing on your wall. He loves meatloaf. He loves warped or he loves all that sort of stuff. So like that would override any sort of like downside. Chris.

Someone who had the same. I met the guy. He's great. He's great. He don't wear diapers. Nothing weird like that. Okay. But like the thing about you that I've learned, a few things about you.

that I've learned. And I don't know how that's going to work when he's totally married. Oh, no. To a woman. To a woman. Whoa. This got complicated.

It's not even the same thing. It's to a woman. And she's okay. She's cool with it. It's like, there. Is that true, Gerard? No. Well, he told us different stories then,

because that's what he told me. Well, Chris, that, that being said, I got a friend, though. Okay, okay. And it's cute. There's a guy that looks like Kevin James. Cool. We just look at it.

And who is the impostering? The real Kevin James. Wow. That is brutal. That is brutal. He's married. He is married. He is married.

He is married. And I know to you what's really important. It's all about respect, dude. I do care about respect. Kevin James is respectful. It's huge. No, but not only is Kevin James married. He does, unfortunately, Chris, have a vagina fetish.

Don't we all have a fetish? He's just looking at him. I know you're going to deal with that, Chris. I don't know how you're going to deal with it. You can never please this guy, Chris. No, you know, Chris. With Kay doesn't seem that bad, okay? But you also want your partner to feel pleasure when you're intimate with each other

and you don't have a vagina. You're absolutely right. I'm so sorry. Shane, I got it. We can't have two people with medical issues. Who's going to take who to the hospital? I did like that angle. I did like that angle.

He can take you any time because he's in a diaper. That's the best angle we didn't even think of it. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. And who else is going? Who else is going? Your person's married? To a woman.

So with Jared's. Is yours married or not? Jared. Yes. It is Kevin James. He's married. Dude, he's been watching the podcast for years and he's been waiting for this moment. Right.

You got to make a call. You got to make a call. I think because yours is married. Well, you don't have to make it that much. The red flag here is only, I mean, the response of the case sucks, but you got to make a This is so hard, but I think I'm going to be a millionaire's a spot. Yeah. Sorry, I'm sorry.

I think because red flags are really important to me, I tend to ignore them. I'm trying not to do that anymore. It's growth. Wow, this is a tough game for you. I thought I knew you. This is fun. We'll do one more. Maybe same.

Okay. Make them good. So my guy for you, he is a professional wellness doctor. Okay. You have all the blank. ones. And he gives great massage. Oh my gosh.

Constantly 24 hours a day. Okay, all right. But Chris, what's wrong with him? Unfortunately, he just likes to open mouth kiss his siblings. Oh, that's really bad. So that's pretty rough. Okay. First of all, his sibling needs air.

She has a breathing problem, but he gives it to her. Well, he is a wellness, doctor. Well, I actually have another guy. I think he would be perfect for you. He actually, you know, you love to tell a nice story. He loves to listen. He's a good listener. Okay, okay.

I love that. And also, speaking of flexibility, this guy's actually a yoga instructor. Oh. So it's nice and calm. The house is very calm. He can lead you in some breathing exercises. He can help the whole household staying limber. Well, unfortunately, he punches you in your sleep.

But he's a yoga. You're just like, oh. He's weak. He's weak. He's a lot of core. He's a lot of core strength. Okay, okay. I might know a little bit about you.

So, unfortunately, it didn't work out. But I want you to have the best guy. And I know you're on a certain journey right now. Okay. Curls. Oh, a curl journey. So I was like, yeah, I'm going to go ahead and hook her up with the world's best hairstylist. That's just one thing.

Straight guy. Oh, yeah. He's very secure in his masculinity. Period. And I know another thing about you. He always defends you. Okay. He's always on your side.

I mean, it's unfortunate because it feels like a something we've like a problem we've felt before, but like you never see him when he goes to work. He's going to work. He's going to hair sales. And that's because he's totally married again. I know. Well, you know what? You just got out of a relationship. This is a fling.

He's going to help you with your hair. He's going to defend you a little bit. He's going to go back to his wife. Well, you know, Sandy, the problem with a lot of men is they're... Two and five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life

saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcf walk.ca.ca. Narcissistic and they blame everything on you as though it's always your problem. This guy never blames you for any, ever. Rare specimen of a man. He also happens to own a magic carpet and can make your Aladdin Drip. Fly you over city. Okay. The most beautiful. Yeah, no railing on that. You can live a Disney movie in real life.

Are you kidding me? Here's the thing, though, when you're on this magic carpet, I would imagine, like, what kind of music is playing? Yeah. Like, what song is the soundtrack for this magical moment? It ain't going to happen. Because he doesn't like music. Any of it. I mean, and you're a music person, so how's that going to work?

God, these are all horrible. Okay. Wow. Okay. Really quick before you. them all out. I just have to say, my professional wellness instructor who gives a great massages, he only open mouth kisses his brother. And it's literally a saliva switch thing that they just share bacteria for their stomachs for their gut. Her face, you're not going down the right path.

I heard, I heard this yoga instructor who is very good at listening. I know he, he flails around in his sleep. Some call it sleep punching. Yeah. But you guys are doing to do some research. What's It's a good rope to tie someone down. No, no, he punches her inner. It's like, I know, but I will. If you tie someone down. Just, I could stop kissing my siblings, but I do. Well, wear a helmet.

Okay, yeah, well, Spencer's obviously X. Let's just take care of that. That's just, you know. I will also say Shane yours is gonna be X because when you described saliva swapping, just really. It makes you really question his wellness practices and what he's promoting to bail.

That's right. broke me out immediately. And so if I'm understanding Jared, so is he gay or is he not gay? No, he is gay. No, he's totally not gay. He's into women. I wouldn't touch up with him if he wasn't into women. He was married to a woman that he's having a really hard time letting go of.

But he's married to a woman. Well, on paper. Okay, so unfortunately, I can't do that to another woman. I'll have to pick Chris. Yeah. I know. I honestly, he was a very close ex. You're a carpet guy?

Because the whole music thing The whole music thing is tough But the saliva thing Wow, you shouldn't have to explain it You were gonna have it So we have Sandy's with some weird Carpet guy who hates music Chris is with like a fucking

Millionaire Supermodel Supermodel millionaire Response with K Oh yeah That's not the better Ventures with a ghost girl Who eats food

Who likes food and my parents like her Well, there you guys go. That was us playing red flags. If you want us to play again, let us know in the comments. Also, what do you think is the biggest red flag for a new relationship? Maybe we'll use your guys' ideas in the next game. So, yeah, what is the biggest red flag? Let us know in the comments.

And hopefully you enjoyed this episode. Wow, what a journey. Well, watch out for water. What were we talking about? Yeah. Okay. See guys next time. Bye.