The Shane Dawson Podcast - ⚠️Toxic Friendships, Big DRAMA, and Plastic Surgery with Morgan Adams!💖

Episode Date: November 21, 2022

In this episode the guy welcome their first guest Morgan Adams to talk about all things GIRLS! From Mean Girl behavior to Disney Princess Conspiracy Theories this episode is for all the ladies out there! Throw in some Cheap Tricks and LOTS of costumes and you have yourself a fetch time on the couch!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So I was sitting on the toilet and what I should do, I pondered the sink, I pondered the trash can, I pondered, and then I saw a cookie in the litter box. Wow. And I was like, that's a good idea. So I lifted the lid off and I popped a squat and I just went for it. And then... What? What? That are you? What? No. I don't even know how to react. Where's our leader? Katie so fetch hey oh my gosh she's here

who is she oh my gosh she's so hot so not fetch she doesn't even go here I'm so sorry guys I cut myself shaving it won't stop bleeding it's really bad oh hi Regina so you really can't stop bleeding so you really can't stop bleeding

Hey, everyone, welcome to whatever the hell this is. We're, um, a lot. I don't know. Beware of the plastic. Okay, hold on. Before we get to the show, we have to welcome our first actual girl, Morgan. Who! Hit the class.

It's so. This is, there's so many things. This is, I can't be serious with this. Yeah, you look like a little bit of a mess. Wait. Did you cut a mole off your face? Yes, I cut a mole, and it's been bleeding for an hour and a half, which, and then I googled it, and it said that if that happens, like, it could be cancer.

And I'm like, I can't do cancer right now. This is too much. Have you never shaved before? Like, how did you not know you have a mole there? So the last time I did listen to you all chit-chat and along, you were talking about your dick size, and that's not something that I can offer today. Well, okay. Oddly enough, that was one of the questions that I wrote down.

What? Well, not about our dick size. Well, kind of, yeah. Oh, about questioning how she feels about dick sizes. Well, no. Okay, what do I do? Well, listen, I'm a cool mom, and you know what cool moms do? They gluck and they suck and they fuck.

Whoa. Wow. That was that what she says? I don't think so. But wow. Eight inches and under, but four and above. Oh, wow. Four does the track, huh?

That was very specific. Was that from the movie or are you actually being? Dude, this whole, you're very good in character. Yeah. Wow, I'm sorry. I just looked over you because I haven't really looked at you because I've been so obsessed with my bleeding face. You looked so good. Thanks.

Wow. Yeah, you looked gorgeous. I think if you walked in somewhere, I'd be afraid of you. I know. When I put this wig on today, I was like, I'm a real bitch in this wig. And what? Why would you be afraid of him? Because that's the type of bitch that would kill you.

This cut. The bangs with the long hair is like, oh, I'm going to fuck you up. If you say one word, if you so much. look in my direction in a way that I don't like. I'm going to come and grab you by the nut sack and fucking yank it. So you're going to show me why. Thank you.

That was a great example of why. You look like an astronaut. You look like, it looks like a bonnet. Have we even discussed our theme? No, okay, here's the thing. It's obvious. So we, I was like, okay, we're having our first girl on the show, which is a huge deal for us. All these vicks in this room.

It's nice to get a, well. All these great. It's nice to get a woman. And then I was like, what about mean girls? Because you're a girl. We could all be girls. And then Jared and Chris were like, we don't want to be girls. So then, you know, this happened.

I love the fact that as soon as I come over, the theme is mean girls. Is that like intentional? No, honestly, the whole theme was planned around when this wig arrived and I put it on. Chris. Yes. What are you? I'm Damien. This is Damien.

He's almost too gay to function. Whoa. Whoa. Is that your real hand? hair color. Oh, I see. You're in character. Okay. You scared me. You turn now. Okay. Not while my sister's here. Not while you're a girl. You're going to flirt with Chris like this. Right now. How could you when I look so beautiful? You do. I was thinking earlier today I glanced over at Chris in the store and I thought I would marry him. Oh my God. So I have something to tell you.

What? Wait, coming from you, that's like everything. Are your signs compatible? They're not. What's your sign? I'm a cancer. Are your genitals compatible? It all flew out the window for Morgan. No, I like cancers, but sometimes I do get a little impatient with our cancer friends because I'm not the most. I just like to get up and get going.

And sometimes the cancers in the room, my mom and Shane, just kind of like to dwell a little bit. Yeah, I could literally never leave the house. But I like cancers. I just don't know if I could marry a cancer because I think I'd get a little overwhelmed. Well, yeah, you very much like to get up. But there's no other fire signs in our vicinity, and yeah. But I'll just thank you really quick, because you're one of the most beautiful people I've ever met. So thank you.

All right, continue. Whoa. They ask you how you are you, you just have to say that you're fine. You're not really fine. It's true. Does it mean anything coming from a gay guy? She's gorgeous. Yes, that means more.

She's so gorgeous. Oh, it means more. I would say that means more than coming from a straight guy, because half the straight guys I know are fucking morons. They don't know what they're talking about. They haven't gotten dragged themselves to know what this takes. They haven't been through the mud and the sweat and tears. Just. Just scientifically to prove in that minute.

Yeah. Okay, before we really dive into all of the topics, I do want to give a shout out to my aunt Kathy. And she, because she sent this with Jared, she watches the podcast and she let me know that they do make chafing cream. It's called Montesat. Shout out to Aunt Kathy. And her email started with your Aunt Kerth. She talks in Omar Gurd exclusively.

No. Yes. And she said she had churfing cream. And she sent to her drink. No way. So guys and girls. Where does the chafing cream go? Oh.

I wish I was you I wish I had no idea Between your thighs Wait if you don't have the squirt No but why don't you just use deodorant I whip some men's deodorant down there every day Girl hack Oh wow

Dude all it took is one episode And we're learning so much That's actually better because that packaging Would make me steer clear I'm pretty shy when it comes to getting Loub or bodily things at a grocery store Target Yeah they sell vibrators at Target

And I'm like I don't know who is bold enough To walk up to the cash register with a vibrator at Target. Especially, like, things like that, preparation age. No, I'm not going, I have to postmate that kind of stuff. You know, that's kind of weird. They sell dildos and vibrators at Target. At Target. That's what Morgan's at.

Dildos and vibrators are like my preparation age. So just to throw it out there, I could walk around a target all day with a dildo and a vibrator in my hand, freely with kids around. But the second I walk out, isn't it like a legal day? You can't just walk around with the dildo? I think if it's not in. Or if I was walking down the street with a dillator. Dildo is no one going to be like, oh, that's all good? Is it not indecent to any degree?

I mean, you can buy it at Target, so it must be a part of human decency. You want to walk around with a dildo or something? Just go to Target. I'm sure Walmart has them, too. Even cheaper trick. Walmart. I love vibrator talk. Have you ever used a vibrator?

There's a buzz around it for sure. What? You have a bulging blood bubble. Sorry. I'm sorry. Katie, you look so good. We haven't even said who I am. I'm Regina George.

People takes a human form in Regina George. That was character. That was character. That was character. That was in Ryland. That was Regina. Oh my God, there's blood in my hair. It's not hard for me to be a big bitch once I put a wig on.

It's fine. I was the victim the last podcast or a couple podcasts ago. And so now it's time for me to just really be a bitch. Oh my God. Now, I'm the victim because people said I was a bully in the last one. I'm literally bleeding. So you can't say I'm a bully right now. Self-inflicted.

And those were a harsh words, by the way. What did he say? Can you say it one more time? I don't remember. It was in the heat of the moment, Jared. He called me a bulging blood bubble. That's our band name, bulging blood bubble. It was a band name recommendation.

I like it. Morgan, you did get one thing wrong. I specifically requested the hard nipples for the mom. Welcome to our home. Are we able to do that? Press a woman to have hard nipples? Well, I mean, I don't know. Can I be a part of that?

It's a Halloween costume. I don't think I could technically be a part of pushing a woman to getting hard nipples. I'm not asking you to get your own nipples hard. That would make me uncomfortable for sure. But you're being very demanding about nipples being hard. Well, yeah, that's part of the gig. I think I got a few things wrong. My hair is not. I was more focused on getting you to be perfect. Thank you. And I really appreciate it.

I did find your outfit, though. He did, yeah. All right. What's your first topic? Morgan, you did bring up something in the car that I thought was interesting. bringing up a lot of things. You said, what are your guys' toxic traits? Like, when you're in a friendship or you're in a relationship, like, what do you know about yourself that's toxic?

And I was like, this is the perfect mean girl segment. Yes. Do you want to start? Yeah, I already have mine for sure. But, okay, this is my issue with people in general because let's just put it out there. I don't have that many friends because when you hang out with a group of people, I feel like groups of people hang out together most of the time because they get entertainment of the drama of the whole group, right?

Yes. Okay. I understand that. I understand that. Wait, did you just say people hang out with each other for drama? I'm just saying, I don't want to say, like, yeah, that's, I was trying to plan out my next band-aid situation. But, no, you know, like, people love when, like, Christina cheats on Becky's boyfriend when Lucy goes after Sarah's mom. Dude, I feel so bad.

I feel so bad with Lucy cheats on Katie's boyfriend, dude. I'm serious. No, I can't deal with that. This is very accurate, because as I got, I had a pretty big close group of friends, and it was, like, you'd go to lunch with one and they'd talk about the others. and it wasn't even out of like I hate that person it was like venting because they genuinely felt upset but it is

it does become the center of conversation so I feel as you get older your friend group gets smaller it makes sense so I prefer to have one friend because if you have two friends then you're talking in a circle I see

you're talking about people in circle but I will say like my toxic trait is that I love to listen to that wasn't it I thought that was it you're just giving her A little bio of yourself? Oh, I love to listen to other people's drama.

I love when Jenny is telling me about Susie. And I love when Becky's telling me about Mara. I love it. Okay. And that's good that you're admitting that. But I don't do anything with the information. I just like to listen to other people because I feel like I don't have many friends to have like a drama-filled circle.

So I like to listen to other people's drama-filled circles. My question would be, though, when you were living in L.A., you were surrounded by very dramatic girls. See, I love that. You did, but then you stopped hanging out with. them. I get scared. Understandable. You want to be close, but you don't want to be too close.

Exactly. Like, I want to take, I want to glimpse. I want a spoonful of what they have to offer. I want to hear the drama, but I don't want to be too close where I'm in the drama where then I'm the person that they're talking about to Sally Sue down the street. When you get to a point where when you leave the room, you're like, oh my God, are they all talking about me?

That's when you know you have a bad group of friends. Yeah, that's why you just don't have a group. Pick one. But it's almost impossible for your group not to because like even in a family dynamic as close as you are like it happens if you have a frustration with a different member of the family like you have to vent it somewhere like nobody is okay venting i agree here's because that leads into my toxic trait which is when i have an issue with somebody or when i'm upset or hurt my feelings are hurt or i'm mad or whatever i don't usually tell the person i kind of hold it and i'm like oh i need to tell them and i get angrier and

matter and then they have no idea that i'm upset about something And then years and years later, he'll finally, the bottle cap will burst. The blood bubble will burn. And then the person will be like, wait, you're mad at me? And he's like, yeah, I've been mad about things for five years. I have that same trait. And I think what it is is if you hold on to it, you just replay the scenario in your head over and over again. How could you not get mad?

You're making yourself relive the moment that you're avoiding so many times. You know what I mean? But I found it is usually better just to get it out real quick, you know? It's usually a bigger deal. our heads. Cheap trick. And to your point, just because, like Drake always says, keep your circle so small, it's a period.

Yeah. Wow, that's iconic. Yeah. Drake, come on, dude. Chris, I'm going to say something to you right now. Mm-mm. I feel really closed off from you, and I feel like we're not like in the same space. Can you take off the sunglasses and hood?

Oh, yes. I just feel like you're out there on an island on your own, and I want to see you, baby. Everything feels so. bright now. I feel like you were sleeping. Also, your shaved face is great, like you just lost 10 years. Yeah, Chris shaved and he looked gorgeous. Is it good? You look gorgeous, honey.

I saw it and I was like, I don't know. That's what I thought we could get married. With your little haircut, you look like you're 12. Wow. That's a good thing. You were throwing off pervert vibes to me. You know, like, you were totally closed off. We didn't know where you're looking,

you know. It was pervy. Okay, you know what's interesting. Which person in this room do you think is the biggest pervert. We'll get back to toxic traits in a minute. Because my answer is shucking. I would say Chris, because I've seen the TikTok with the shlong hanging out.

Wow. What? Explain. What are you talking about? Because I haven't seen the ticot with the shlonging in a mouth. Well, that's because his TikTok got banned after he posted it. He posted his shlong hanging out on a TikTok?

Chris, what? Wait. Wait a minute. Dude. It was like a silhouette. He turned the corn in and it was like. Was it like an artsy shit? shot that you meant to happen like boom and then you took this shot there was a trend on

tic-tok called the silhouette challenge where someone would stand there and there'd be like a song playing and then when it cut to like a slower version of the song all the light would cut out and there'd just be a red light behind you and you'd be fully silhouetted and a lot of people were taking this very seriously and we're like doing a silhouette of them naked dancing sexy and stuff and i hate my body i would never actually be naked on a thing and i thought it'd be funny to when it cuts to the silhouette like it seems all very serious and normal

but then like move to the side and I have like the biggest dildo strapped to my body so it's just like comically huge so it wasn't even a real weiner no it's like a couple of questions and then at the end I slap and it flies don't forget he had the dildo in the first thing

so you didn't go out to purchase that dildo wait a minute good point he just cracked the code perspective yes why did you have that big of a dildo well that was for a sketch but that dildo it didn't It's been in like four sketches. There's always an excuse.

No, I swear. It would be very hard for anyone to make me feel like Chris is not the biggest perfect in this room right now. I think Chris got my vote personally. So I'm going to vote Chris.

I think you're all a bunch of prudes. Continue. I think you are a pervert. And here's because... I don't think I'm a pervert. I don't think of a pervert. Do we have to use the term pervert? Yeah, let's just put it out there.

We should take back the word. That's all it is. It's not a negative thing. I don't want to be like pervert fucking shaming over here. Do you demand what you? What do you want? I'm pro-pervert. What do you mean?

Like when you're not satisfied, when, I'm not even saying not satisfied, but when you want to explore something outside of what's typically going on when you're sleeping with somebody or you demand it, not demanding, but do you vocalize what you want? Sometimes, sure. See, okay, that's a thing. Because you are, you, in real life, like when you're not fucking, you're, you're kind of nervous to speak up. Like, if something's wrong or you need something or whatever.

But in the bedroom, I feel like you're very outspoken. Not that I know, but I'm just assuming. it's different in the better but I also prefer to please the other person in general for the record but like yes I mean I yeah that is the one time I'm not I just it's like that's the one time in my life I'm not in my head having an anxiety attack like it just kicks in I just instincts kick in and I just have fun see and that's why I said that's why I said pervert and I'll think of a better word but it is that you're almost breaking stereotypes because like when you see the quiet kid in class do you automatically assume that they're the one that wants the biggest dildo no yes yeah they're usually to Perverts, right? The quiet kids. Always. Usually looking at porno. You know, or something? Interesting.

Wait, what do you want? No, I know. Five minutes left. Oh, my gosh. I think everybody's a pervert, though. It's like, how are you not a pervert? Between me and you, it's me. Yeah, you're the pervert. For sure.

Oh, my gosh, yes. Why do you say that? I mean, I... My sister's here. We literally were just talking about dildos at Target. I think we're fine. Yeah, but that doesn't have to do with me. And we're polterers.

This is women, and I'm bleeding. See, Ryland, I do this next to my brother every time. It's not that bad. It's not bad. Maybe there's a problem that we have. It's not a problem. It's a problem that there's even the idea that there is a problem. I would say I'm a bigger pervert than you.

For sure. But I think it's like a chemical imbalance or there's something in your brain that makes you like, you care about sex and it's a thing for you, but you're not like, you know. It doesn't rule my life in any regard. But then my question is, but in your grinder days, you were like fucking a million people a day. That was like my exploration phase. You know, like I was figuring

out what I liked and what I didn't like and I was, I wasn't ready to be in a relationship. Finding yourself. Yeah. Our family did not teach us how to be emotionally available to people and or sexually available to people. Oh, and the two I think are

connected, so that makes sense. Our parents gave us nothing in the realm. Really? So you didn't like hit, like, when I was like 9 or 10 or something, I think didn't mom I remember specifically we're sitting there in the living room and mom sat down and she goes you might have an urge to hump your bed and I was like okay I'm already doing it wait so they never had the sex talk with you no no absolutely that would have never happened that I remember honestly wow then how did you

figure it out you Google it whatever goes wrong you Google it when you start bleeding you google well you also have to remember I mean not for Morgan but for me my formative years were in Utah and so there was a stigma around just hooking up and boyfriends and girlfriends and yeah like the first time when I moved to Colorado I think for my brother and I both like the first time I got ahead I cried for like two days because I felt so guilty and it was like it was residual guilt from dude you know you're growing up in an environment right right your fucking sister's here dude my dad made me feel guilty for taking too long to get hit I don't think my parents know that I've ever kissed a lady.

I still don't think Morgan, like I don't, I, I live in a world where she hasn't had, I know she's had sex, but I live in a world where she hasn't. See, our family would never know. Wow. You're a virgin? We don't talk about histories. We don't. Okay.

So we need to take a quick break because I need to change my band-aid and we're almost out of battery, but when we come back, I have questions about your parents. Oh, no. Specifically, your dad pressuring you to get ahead. Fucking great. We'll be back. Amazing. Well, that was crazy.

Did you ever try to do it to yourself? Did myself ahead? Yes, I tried. Okay, so our first sponsor today is one of my favorites, Ridge Wallet. So obviously we've talked about Ridge Wallet before. I love them. They have 30 different styles and colors of wallets. They're sleek and small.

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Wow. I just snapped with my hair. What does that mean you snapped with your hair? He knows exactly. It means I ate. Yeah, snapped is dead. It's all about eating. I know.

I'm really trying to come to terms with this new world. Do you know about this, Morgan? I'll never know. That you eat with no crumbs. Yes, no crumbs left ever. That's called snapping. Nikki Minaj talks about it a lot. I ate this lunch.

Or I ate this look. Oops. I'm hungry. You guys are getting me like deeper into confusion. So are we talking about eating or hair or? Here, Jared. Perfect example. I fucking ate this look.

So it's when you eat, so, like, you snap so hard you ate it. Like, oh, she ate that. And I left no crumbs. It's basically appropriating black culture, I'm sure, but. Well, good luck to them 13 years from now. Oh, my God. Honestly. Are we going to get canceled for eating?

I know. I don't know. I'm going to love to see 13 years from now what people are doing today that they're going to be canceled for 13 years from now. I think about that every day. This. So where are you consuming Nikki Minaj talking about this on Queen Radio? In some of her new songs. Pandora.

Wait. Is that new song that's a hit? Does she talk about eating in it? Yeah. She does? I could lick it, I can something. Yeah, she sucks it and fucks it and something about eating. Does she leave any crumbs?

There is... Mickey never leaves crumbs. Never. There's a part, there's a remix specific that's talking about the eating with no crumbs. And then I thought of Shane's story because I think the first time I've seen that within the past five years is on Shane Dawson's Snapchat story. Oh, yeah. Put the Snapchat way, don't you?

What? It's where we all are now. Okay, that actually, wow, it's so crazy that all these segues are going so perfect. Because my next question was, I went on. Snapchat, which is where I've been lately, mainly because, like, nobody can see you flop. Oh, my God. Whoa. Snapchat where nobody can see you flop.

Nobody can see your likes, reviews. That's huge. You can't see haters. Like, they don't exist. And you just post a snap and nobody fucking sees it. It's great. You should get on Snap. It kind of sounds like, what's the point?

Our happiness, Jerry. I can just take a picture. I'm just, right? Well, I went on Snap and I said, hey, guys, Morgan's here. What questions should we ask our first girl on the podcast? So many people were just like, oh, my God, I love Morgan, I want to marry Morgan, I want to fuck Morgan. I forwarded all those to you. Was one of those, Chris?

You know, there is one guy in my podcast comments every episode. Set me up with Morgan. Maybe you should look into him. I'll send you his info. We should be perfect. We should do a date. We should go a Bachelorette. We should.

Okay, I think I've mastered the art of being alone, though, because I think to myself a lot at night. If someone was here, would I be ultimately bothered by it? And a lot of the times, I think yes. Well, that's the real key is finding somebody that enhances your time where you're doing nothing. Like, you can exist in a room together, not feel weird, and still enjoy your time together. I also don't think everyone has to be in a relationship, though. Chris. Yeah, but a relationship doesn't have to consist of two people conjoined at the hips.

It's about two people excelling in life, and then at the end of the day coming back to each other and being progressive with each other. I just meant that, like, my uncle was single for most of his life, and he just preferred it that way. you's happier that way and that's fine there's nothing wrong well yeah i mean but for you do you think there's like and for everyone do you think there's a point where you get so comfortable alone that nobody's ever going to be good enough i'm not saying you're at that point but what would it take for you to like what are you looking for i think what goes through my mind a lot is that i spend so much time by myself and i figured out how to be happy by myself like when i go throughout my day-to-day activities i'm like wow this is amazing

like this is really great so then I think about if some man was here but ringing in my ears would that make me happy and I'm like I just don't know I see what you're saying I mean before I got into a relationship with her I was I love being alone like I loved it being alone being sad spiraling staying up all night and thinking about things for my child and being like was that abuse like all those things I loved and then um and then when I'm at him I was like oh I can't imagine life without him and happen really fast and yeah sometimes we just don't even talk we just sit in a room and it's like I'm alone our schedule is also complement each other though because he gets I go to bed at 11 and he stays up for another five hours and then I have five hours in the morning so we have our alone time so I think you're like complimentary colors oh yeah I think you will find somebody who is don't you ever somebody because you date kind of on and off or you don't really talk about it publicly well you know what I actually was thinking about the other day this every time I've been out with a guy, sometimes I'll look at them and be like, I live in, okay, I need to think about how to phrase this in a way that doesn't sound crazy. But I think about all the time, I'm like, okay, if I'm with a guy and I'm sitting with him by myself, one of the things that I'm thinking about when he's talking to me is, would I take him to meet Shane and Rylind?

And that's, I live in absolute horrifying fear. Because you wouldn't just bring some random bum from the middle of the alleyway back to meet Shane and Ryan. I would mom and dad could meet anyone they would be I can't believe that we're more of the like well they're a better judge of character maybe mom and dad would just be happy with whatever that's worse than what I said probably

and grandma especially grandma tells me every day that I'm too fussy and that's why I won't find anyone she does but mom and dad mom is too nice she's not going to tell you the truth if you bring someone over and mom fucking hates the ground they walk on she's gonna be like they're amazing she's so happy for you if you brought someone to Shane specifically that was weird and a little off he'd be like no and then

I'd be like no and I'd move along so I think about all the time it's gonna take me being confident bringing some man to meet you well you guys can meet them too but I'm like would that get the stamp of approval that's when I'll bring someone over could I ask a question real quick because what you just said in my opinion bears a lot of weight you know because you you're saying the person has to be able to go through the gauntlet of Shane and Rylund, you know? So my question to you guys is, do you trust Morgan, her intuition and her assertion that if she was into a guy that much, do you think inherently you would want to accept him and probably be cool with him?

No. No. Okay. That's a good question. That was a great question. Let me tell you why. Every friend that I brought over, though, that's a little crazy. Ryan and the show will be like they're a little crazy and they're always right always so you haven't had

anybody dated where you thought even maybe that they could meet us you weren't going to bring the last one around I thought about it wow that's a big deal but then I thought too soon so that's a thing though because I'm not like out on my daily activity searching for companionship you know like I'm not going out to Walmart looking for someone to be my best friend so then it makes you more and more picky with who you actually want to let be your friend because it's very selective versus having like a big group of friends and you're like I'm not doing that so so you haven't learned just how to insta curve people and let them know like there's no obligation friendship-wise instaker that's the problem though is like forcing a friendship with the wrong person isn't ever going to work out but you know when

it's right relationship or friendship wise side no this is a total side note we'll get back to the snap check questions in a second but chris because you're also somebody who's who's always in a relationship similar to me, how do you, what? It's very true. It's true. I've been in a relationship since. How do you do that?

How do you find these people that you're worthy of dating? My standards are low. I'm right here. No, you're great. No. So how do you deal with friendships? Like, do you see yourself when you get in a relationship that's serious? Is it hard to make time for friends?

Because for me, if I'm in a relationship, he's my friend. And then, like, I want to, we both want to make friends, and it's really hard. So do you make time, or are you kind of just like, big boy, he's my friend. In most of my adult life, it's, you know, I work so much that I don't see any of my friends very often anyway. Most of my friends also work nonstop, and we all see each other a few times a year, and we just know that is what it is and it's fine. And, like, that's how all my friends are. And we love each other. We're very close.

And when we see each other, we pick up where we left off. And it's like, I love my friends very much. But yeah, we're just all busy people. And I don't, like, when I'm with someone, I'm not like now I'm cutting them off completely. Like, I bring them around my friends and I do things kind of as I would. Like, I just bring my significant other alone. That's healthy. My problem is that I am like when I'm trying to make friends, because recently I've been trying.

I've been like, you know, trying to. Yeah. Where do you make friends? Hasn't gone well. And, you know, I'll have all the thing where I'm like, okay, we should hang out with somebody. And then the time will come. and I'm like, would I rather hang out with Rylan alone? Yeah, kind of.

See, that's what I think about all the time. Every time I agree to hang out with someone when it comes down to it, I would rather spend the night by myself. And is that like a bad thing to say? No, not at all. I instinctively feel that way, but then a lot of the times when I do force myself to go out, which I do kind of have to force myself, but I end up having way more fun than if I would have stayed in personally. I can't say that's always the case for me.

Yeah. Well, we've had it's very funny like me and Ryan in the last six months have really tried like we'll start hanging out with somebody and be like we should be friends with this person and then something will happen that's so insane and I'm just like wow, this is why we don't have friends. And it keeps happening. So maybe we're just a bad judge of friends. Maybe we're just all meant to be friends with each other. You know what? You're right. This is enough. I think I'm bad company sometimes. No, you're not. Because let me just share a quick story because I think the last time me and Sandy my wife went to another. It was a girl she knew from high school and her husband. They invited us over for gameplay, you know. So we played like two hours of board games, shoot the shit, you know. They had some drinks or whatnot.

And then the guy was like, dude, I just recently beat Donkey Kong Country on Super Nintendo. Don't care. Or like Mario 64. And I was like, dude, that sounds fucking rad. We should play it real quick. Long story short, I kept that dude up until 2.30 in the morning so we could beat Donkey Kong country. and in the beginning of the night they were inviting us back next week

and they said to let us know we were never invited back why that sounds like such a fun time they had work in the morning they had a baby and I think they felt bad no I think we were having a great time but maybe I was a bad influence

if I was there he just wants to play Donkey Kong country with his boys you know what I don't like that though like why does someone else get to have an influence on what like if you're dating someone I feel like they have an influence on you and I don't know if I like that

Yeah, but only if you let them, though, like, how about this? What's a personal experience you've had where someone maybe had a bad influence or something like that? Well, she's saying, like, if one party wants to leave and the other party's not ready. Ooh, nothing pisses me up more. Yeah, and I do that to Shane frequently. Like, we'll go over to my mom's house and my mom and Shane can stay over. My mom, yeah. Our friend, besides who is here, we'll go over and it will be midnight.

I'm like, I got to go. And Shane and my mom are like, they're like, they're like, canceling. in the kitchen. Shane and mom are like crazy little girls together. They're like BFFs. It's very weird. This is no time to be laughing. This brings me to, sorry to cut you off,

but this brings me to a question because your birthday was recent. She's finally accepting she's a Leo, by the way. Sorry to speak for you. Yeah. Yeah, you're a Leo for sure. But here, your birthday was recently, right? And I got you a birthday card. And I filled it out.

I filled that motherfucker to the, I ate that card. I filled it up to the brain. I was like, why did I write so much? She opened it up. She's like, where are the crumbs? Here's the thing. He must have ate them all. Hold on.

And then, so then I, so I fell out the card and I'm like, you know, licking the envelope and I'm like, I'm like, oh, I feel good about what I wrote. Like, you know, I hope she feels it. I hope it's not too much. And then Rylan goes, why did you close it? I didn't get to sign it. And I was like, he goes, this was my card. And I was like, we were at the store.

You picked it out, yes, but like we were at the store together shopping for Morgan. And then he goes, we're a couple. Like, why would you do that? If you were getting your own card, you need to. to tell me this card is my card Okay, hold on Oh my god

Oh my god, we haven't had The theme song in a little while Oh, here we go Oh, here we go again Life with Shane and Ryland Fight with Shane and Ryland Shane and Ryland Okay, and we're back

So the reason that I guess I didn't think about is because, and this isn't meant to be shade But because you're a single To me it's not fair That couples like You know what I mean Because you're a single person

So it's like if I'm like Here's our gift from both of us were a couple like to me that sucks and i understand that i'll give you singular things i don't think about things that deeply it's just a card though dude you know like do you know where the cards are the people are your past five years you guys give very nice cards and very nice but here i'm gonna cut you off though because i will say during christmas time maybe a couple years ago you did get upset because you were like it's not fair because you guys can do gifts together but you had to get gifts for everybody.

But we're also a very elaborate. You guys were given like these big, extravagant gifts. Like they were like Ellen Oprah's giving out. We couldn't stop. Sometimes I can't stop. It was crazy. This was the first time I had like over $200 in my bank account.

They're like, let's buy mom a car. It was dad, but okay. And I was in the furniture store crying and I was like, I can't even pay my student debt. But that's what I'm saying. You guys can split the cost where for me to go buy data car, I'm like, no one's splitting the cost with me, sister. And that's what he's saying. And I understand that sentiment, but I feel like we give enough gifts to justify the pair. So I just felt the card was different.

I'm just saying when a couple gives a single person a present, it makes me feel bad because I feel like it's not fair. Because a single person has to give everybody individuals, but I guess I'm thinking too much into it. I'm not a bitter single person, though. Me and Sandy do that. I'm not mad at the fact that I'm alone because I feel like I choose to be alone. and I feel like I'm finally at a place in life where I'm at peace I guess you just have to do well yeah it's not really your decision if the right person cut

because you'll know when it's right like Shane and I we met and then we pretty much immediately just spent every day thereafter together because we liked each other so much so it will just take finding that person and if you don't then you're content alone and that's great now I'd actually a great thing though that you like that because it's not like you're going to be single forever is just it's not not being in a relationship doesn't mean it's a negative

It just means that that's the phase, you know what I'm saying? Right. Like, I'm not searching for someone to fill the void. It's good because that would be a negative thing. That sounds like something you need therapy for if you're looking for someone to fill a void. Well, most people are. Yeah, I think that's what most people are seeking. Okay.

I don't know how to segue to this because it's so weird and I can already see people saying I'm creepy for asking this. But this was the number one asked question on Snapchat. And this was, what is Morgan's opinions on growers? Oh, my God. This is too much. If you're not aware, I'll give you the definition. Like a dick that grows slowly? Well, instead of pikes right up.

No. So when you see, this is so strange. At least you're not my like blood sister. So it's fine. No, not for me. When you see a penis, sometimes it's like, where is it? Or it's like a turtle or it's like small, right? And then sometimes it's like a big meter and you're like, oh, that's a big meaty, you know, whatever, right?

But that doesn't really matter. It doesn't mean the size is different because when it grows, they might be the same size. What is your thoughts on growers? Does it gross you out? Are you turned off by it? And that was the question I got asked. Here's the thing, though. She would, unless you're in a relationship with a grower,

you probably wouldn't experience the growth before the growth. Do you know what I mean? You wouldn't see it soft. Because if you're not only going to see the penis when you're hooking up. So it's like you'd have to be in a relationship with a grower to know what the grower looks like. It's like a horse. A horse doesn't have a huge penis until it needs to. I think I've only seen one.

A horse is a grower. Maybe grower and I don't think it ever grew. Oh, well, then. That's a bad representation. He's not ripping us well, then, if that's the case. Okay, by the way, I'm only asking this because we wanted a woman's perspective on growers. Unfortunately, the woman is, you know, your sister. So this is awkward.

Okay, interesting. So you actually, so I guess because the only penises you would know is like porn and the people you've been with. So if you've never been with a grower, you don't even know they exist. I've never thought about it explicitly now. There's a lot in this room. This is just more signs of. Like, grower awareness is not where it needs to do. So I will say I've had a couple experiences where you reach in the pants and you're like, where is it?

But is that a grower or is that just an unfortunate situation? Well, then once it gets hard, you would know if it's a grower. Because if it's big once it's hard, that's a grower. It depends because we're saying like, grower doesn't mean it's not like, it doesn't mean it's small necessarily. It just means before it's erect. Thank you. It could appear small. Thank you.

Some growers get erect and then it's so. Huge. It's huge. For some. For some. Sorry. You, Shane, what? Stop.

Well, we're sitting here talking about small dicks. I just have to... Is this too embarrassing? Yeah, we're all sitting here trying to explain to her why it's like cool to be a grower. I'm not trying to make it cool. This feels like a lot of projecting going on. Wait, here's why I will say, because we were watching a movie one time. This was years ago, probably five years ago.

And there was a dick in it. And the dick, to me, was like kind of a normal soft dick. You know, maybe three inches or something, right? Where are you going with this? I like how... Let's stop. This is weird. I was watching the movie.

It's a three-inch thing. You were watching... together like we were with morgan all of us were watching a movie it was like an artsy movie it wasn't a fucking porn and there was a dick in it and morgan started we all started laughing and then morgan goes geez that's that's that's so a small dick and in my head i'm like i was there she doesn't know she hasn't seen as many dicks like this she's going to have a harsh reality when she realizes what percentage of people do you think are growers have you checked in with your community i think it's 70 we googled it and it was way more than half it was like the vast majority

so you're part of the community too oh most men are growing yeah so yeah you know how people always say that they're happy that they're not a woman I'm happy that I'm not a man because that's too much well and that brings me to the next question on Snapchat and this is also a personal question that I have is there a female equivalent to being a grower maybe being a shower like beef curtain situation like what's a female is it classic or double meat roasties and like what is their struggle you're a struggle I think it's like you know how Chloe Kardashian always had the issue of the camel toe no oh it was on I wouldn't shade miss Chloe unless she put it out there but there was like a whole season of the Kardashians it was

about Chloe's camel toe I have a very big camel toe my plus is very large and in charge but I don't know that like I know some girls have the camel toe problem oh I would say that's pretty that's a pretty good equivalent possibly but maybe if the pants are tight enough we would all have the cameltoe problem wow I don't know I don't know inclusive right I did not know it's 79% are growers wow wow I mean unless your priority is walking around nude with your boyfriend I don't don't see why it would matter because once you're having sex and would you be turned off by it if your next dream i don't think she understands what it means i need a picture i just liked it i thought what is weird like 20 minutes are you turned up by it why am i doing this why am i here

all the comments are always girl perspectives on the grower thing well because they all have girlfriends i think we're gauging you know where's weird at you know maybe but yeah that's pretty much what uh being a grower is but like would you be turned off by it i guess was the question that he asked. I think she would need representation. You and your friends. I think it depends on what happens after it grows. It's normal.

No one cares about the seed when it's in the ground. You even know it's fucking there. That's what I wanted to feel. Yes. Thank you. The growth is so validated. That's all we needed. And you did give us a reference of like four to 20, four to eight inches or something.

Yeah, you already said. So that's like a good, you know, come on four inches under average, actually. So. Okay. This next question from Stan. chat was have you had any work done since you became a YouTuber because a lot of YouTube girls get work done I thought they meant do I get any work done like do I do anything I didn't give a job no I'm so the apartment building such a misogynistic question

to ask her first girl guest do you get work done what do you do I don't get what do you know I get it It's hard to put on makeup. What do you do? The apartment building that I just moved into, there's always people that sit at the front desk in the lobby. And I think that they think that I'm a sugar baby because I don't leave my apartment because I, like, do all my work in my apartment. And the only time I leave is to either go to my little workout class or go get a coffee, but that's it. So I'll walk down and then come back with a coffee or like a little Nordstrom bag. And I think they think I'm a sugar baby.

Who cares, right? But I do wonder if people think that I am. So as far as plastic surgery. I know I have You don't do Botox? No, but I've been thinking about it Because I do, I had the first realization When I looked in the mirror the other day

That I look not 18 Oh, I don't know that Do you want to look 18? No, but it was like I just looked at myself In the mirror and was like, oh my God, I'm not a child anymore Like you could see like the growth on my face And I was like The memories

Yeah, I did get my fake hair though Because my friend does hair But that's pretty much it I would say that hair adds a lot though Did you feel like when you were in L.A. and you were surrounded by YouTube girls that were getting a lot of work done? Was it a thing where they would all be like,

oh my God, let's go get her whatever's done. And you'd be like, Tana Mojo goes in a group show. Her and Ashley Shawani go and get like together. Wait, wait, wait, what? You wouldn't expect anything like her. Tata's the girl who we watched yesterday, her veneers fell out.

No, Tana goes to see a lot. It feels like her veneers are always falling out. Maybe she needs to find a new doctor. Yeah, but I've never. I feel like, I'm scared. I did want to get lip injections and I asked my ascetician lady if I should get them because she does the same thing and she told me not to.

It is poison. Here's, okay, here's what scares me about surgeries, which I've had plastic surgery before. It was more corrective. But anyways, um, my thing is like Kim Kardashian lately. She's been getting everything removed, right? Like, she's really skinny now. Like, what does she get removed? Everyone saying she's got her

arm removed. Do you think that's true? I don't know if I believe it. Supposedly she's had a lot of things removed because the new look, right, with tick talking all these things isn't really about the big butts and all that anymore it's like more skinny isn't the look whatever kim wants the look to be exactly so now all these girls are like oh my god but i got a fake ass put it and i got fake lips and now now that's not the look anymore oh no what do i do yeah that's like scary jaclin hill got her lip filler dissolved in a thing

in a video are all these girls going to start getting their butts removed too because they all got didn't a lot get those bBLs is that what it's called i wonder the oldest person on earth with his like the longest BBL in the butt right now is though what does it look like in like 40 years yeah does it sag you know because boot they get them redone or you're taking out but like what does a BBL do to a body I'm curious okay I'm very excited because once again one of my favorite brands of all time is sponsoring the show and that is Buffy so as you guys know Buffy makes award-winning betting that is as soft on you as it is on the earth and I can't tell you how much I love their cooling features because I am a hot sleeper we've talked about it before I was trying

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Seriously, you were the first brand to ever work with me on this podcast, and I appreciate you more than you now. So thank you guys for supporting them and go to buffy.com and enter code grower. Okay, show the rest of the show. I want to know how we're in the same genetic pool. Sometimes I think we're not. Yeah, wow.

Like, we look at him. He has no acne on his face. His metabolism works like a charm. Tiny dick. No, I'm kidding. He's lying. No, he has problems, though, mental. Oh, please.

Well, we never got back to toxic Sorry, I'll shut up Yeah, you guys never all shared your toxic trait Over there in the little pink cardigan, Mr. Gina I want to hear your toxic trait Oh, wait, yeah Chris, what's your toxic trait? Do you have a toxic trait?

I think I have so many, but Like in a relationship? Just in life. Yeah, because like in a in life, it's just that I'm like, I'm always anxious and always like doubting myself so much that I think I become like,

just very frustrating for people around me because I whisper or I don't speak up or I'm like in a line and I'm not sure what to do and then I like cause a scene at the grocery store or just like I just cause problems because I'm so like that that's a problem but also in like specifically relationships it's like trust issues I just have severe trust issues and I have a really really hard time trusting anybody and that's that's tough to really that's why I don't want to be in a relationship but at least you can get to the point you have trust issues or what I don't think so What are you say? You can't be in a relationship. I thought it was that. He said trust and then you said that. But at least you can get to the point where you're in a relationship to figure out what your issues in the relationship are. Yeah. Do you ever snap?

Like, have you ever had a moment where you just like popped off? Like really eight. Um, yes. No, I mean, I don't know. I get mad for sure, but I don't know. I don't. I, I, it's, yes. I mean, there are times in the past I've gotten really really mad, especially in previous relationships,

especially when I thought I was being cheated on. I like I almost never get angry I relate to the thing you were saying where like you kind of bottle it up and then it explode and I mean I have punched and cracked a windshield I was going to say you seemed violent I would never

I would never touch a person not a person your bare hands yeah that's a cancer thing the cancers are outrageous maybe depending on the time of the month the cancer was born I don't know I could you've never punched a wall when I get mad I start

hitting my head against the wall. I've thrown a phone because I feel like this is like horrible, but I'm paying for it later. I do that all the time. I do that all the time. At least it's my phone and then I'm going to regret it and then I'm going to learn a lesson. When I kept testing positive for COVID and I was so annoyed, I threw my phone every time. And he'll start hitting himself. If he's really mad, he'll start like actually hitting himself in the head.

I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? Okay, I haven't done that one. Really? But I relate to the phone one a lot. I slot myself. Um, interesting. I know. Are you guys okay?

No. Morgan, no. Sweetie. Oh, my God, no. Do you want a reference to a good therapist? Oops. Okay, so yeah, you have rage. That's good to know.

Yeah. Have you ever shot anybody? But it takes, I've never shot. No. Dude, then good. I don't hurt people. The anger stuff is just like, it takes a lot for me to get there. You know what I mean?

When you say it takes a lot for you to get there, what do you mean? Well, I mean, like, again, with the, with the, with the, which I had thought I was being cheated on for years and like gas. Okay, well, that is, there's behavior that is unprovoked and behavior that is provoked. If you think someone's cheating on you, that is provoked. And that's their own fault if you crack their windshields. So fuck them. No crumbs. I think he cracked his own.

Never anything. Was that good? Was that good? Yes. Licked the plate clean. Chomped. That was cool. I have a few additions.

Nibbled sounds soft. Nibble is a disrespectful. But that's like when you're like, oh, they nibbled. Yeah. I like it. Ryan, what's your toxic? I could answer this. What's your toxic trait?

I honestly don't know. What do you, I would like your opinion, honestly. Where do we start? No, yeah, be honest. Tell me. Hit me with it. I would say your toxic trait is, oh, you get really moody, very moody, very princessy, very, like, if we're, okay, if there's a plan and the plan doesn't happen, you are angry. And then you don't let it go, and it takes, like, two hours for you to have fun.

Yeah, and that is, like, a toxic trait that fills genetic in my family between the men. And so I feel like that is something I have to break I feel like you coming into my life at the time you did was pivotal for me in a lot of ways like it broke a lot of what was in those sorts of things I feel like I would have been a lot more

Is this manipulative? That was so nice Because I feel like now he doesn't want me to say the next toxic trait So he's saying something really nice Oh no, don't hold back But I'm saying like Before I met you I was a lot more frugal

Before I met you I was a lot less easy going I think the things that attracted me to you were you're more like, I know not outwardly to everyone, but to me, you're, between you and I, you're very adventurous. Between you and I, or you're. Well, everybody can hear you. Well, no, but I'm saying like, between you and him? No, no, no, but I'm saying like, I don't. quirky stupid Joe. It's very British.

Right. That was British. You know what? I could relate to that in my relationship. I think, I think we represent kind of the same thing because I'm down to just free flow shit. I will say, though, there is something about your relationship, specifically, that I learned last night that I have a lot of questions. Oh, shit. So last night, me and Jared stayed up to like four in the morning playing with an app called Face App.

And I love that app. Yes. Basically, you can not sponsor, but you can, it's actually probably really bad for the world. It's really good. Every girl, every Instagram photo that you see is Face App. Plastic surgeons are just fucking creaming themselves every time someone downloads FaceUp. They're like, oh, give them fucking, we got to get more credit cards out there in the world for these girls fucking, you know. Yeah, because you can do everything.

Like you put your picture of yourself. This is not supposed to. Don't use it. It's toxic. Yeah, very toxic. You can do anything. You can change your gender. You can change your hair.

You can change your face. You can de-age yourself by years. It's insane. But there is one thing that you can do that me and Jared found out. I guess I could just show them. You have to. So we, there's a, there's a filter where you can see what you would look like if you shaved your beard. It's getting more embarrassing.

Shaved face. And this is what it said. Oh. That is fucked up. No. You like the pastor that went to jail. Now, tell me that's kind of real. No.

No. You guys don't have to lie. No, Jared. Well, no. No, I don't mean real. I don't mean real. That's what it would look like. I mean, like, if you saw that picture, you would think that's a person.

Because obviously it's like it has this weird thing It makes her body look all fat And like that ain't real Right You would think that that was like Your grandpa's photo at his funeral Not a real It just looks like horrible

That was a fucking I like that I would never look at that And be like oh that's Jared Never 90% me though So then Jared posted on his Instagram Go follow, let's mind travel He said what did I do

Yeah Which everyone replied No Which felt great if it was real, by the way. Yikes. Now, but then you really took it to the next level. Oh, yeah, I had to. And do you want to explain what you did?

Yeah, so I sent it to my wife. And I just sent it to her. You know, no caption, no text. And she just said, what did you do? And then actually, what am I doing here? I had like out of phone. Like, I don't have the receipt. Okay, so I texted her the exact picture we just looked at the full body

because I felt like it was more believable. And she said, OMG, your beard. And I said, yeah, instant regret. She thought it was you? Yes. Yeah, and I said, yeah, instant regret. You know, I'm really, I'm sinking it. How did that happen?

Our girl Sandy needs to go to the optometrist if she thinks that that's you. How did that happen? Halloween episode. I'm going to need a little more information. What do you mean? Why did you shave so I could be a minion? Whoa, my love, I love you.

Oh, that's so nice. She always, it's very rare. I send very rare that I send a picture to my wife. And she doesn't reply, you're so handsome. There's heart emojis. It's a celebrated moment when I send a fucking selfie to my wife. You haven't told us that it's not real? No, not until way later.

So that's what I was like. He pranks Sandy and doesn't tell her sometimes for days. But then he was so scared because when he posted on Instagram, people were like, no, no, oh, my God, what? So then he was like, oh, this is actually really bad. And then you sent it a couple hours later, you sent to Sandy. And that was like five hours later. So she didn't know it was fake until she woke up.

She texted me and she woke up. That's a long time to keep that killer. Right? It gave me a pit my stomach. And I was like, do you prank her all the time? And you're like, oh, yeah, all the time. It's hilarious. It's fun.

You don't like scare each other when you're like walking down a hallway. No. Shane's not one for pranks. Oh, I love doing that stuff. My boyfriend and I prank each other as well. And we had a very similar conversation as well, by the way. I sent a photo of myself shaved. Uh-oh.

And he just sent a Steve Carell gif of him screaming no. No, God, please no No! No! This is mean? Because yours is real, Chris. Mine's real. So this is kind of not exactly like it. Mine's real. At least Sandy was supportive. Homey down the street is not happy. And I said, I was like, that's so mean.

And then I was like, I put a crying emoji. And then he was like, he said a couple things. And then, but then he's like, I'm just kidding. I love you. You're still so sexy. And I was like, no, this is how we talk to each. If someone responded to me like that, I would never recover. If Ryland sent me an emoji that said no to my physical appearance. And then, wait, wait, the last thing, well, not one of the last things you said it was,

well, now I understand why they say that love is blind. Chris, why the hell would you read that? Yeah. That's so hilarious. That's mean, I don't know about all that. See, this is the dynamic of our relationship. I thought it was going to get cute. This is.

That guy kind of uglier. It was very hard to make a piece of dog shit smell worse. Somehow you found the perfect seasoning to spray. You just nailed the coffin shut, baby. Well, I'm happy for you guys that you can verbally abuse each other. No, I mean. Yeah, like, I don't know. I need to be with someone who like we can handle jokes.

Right. Was that a joke? Yeah, yes. We know. I was joking with you back. Now, I will say, then we had some fun. So then I started face-sapping things and don't worry, Morgan, you're including of this. And I started fesombing things that I just want to say, we can see how Riley

looks so pretty right now. but this is what he would also look like as a girl. Wow. That looks like what our child would look like if she was a girl. You look like you're in a hallmark. Wow. Maybe I was meant to be a girl, so I could be in Hallmark movies. What if you were meant to be the girl and I was meant to be the boy?

Whoa. And we got like. No. Well, we can see. Do you want to see what you would look like as a man? Yeah. Okay. This is just so unenthusiastic.

So this is you as you. Yeah. Okay. And then this is you as. Wow. Wow. You kind of look like. like Chad Michael Murray. How did I turn into Justin Anderson who did my hair

the first time? You do look like a gay hair stylist. Yeah, you do. It's giving Brad Mondo richness. But you're a good looking guy. They incorporated the necklace you had on. Yeah, I love how they gave me a nice little leather jacket. It's probably like All Saints or something. And that's you shaped, just in case you wanted to see. Oh, wow. Oh, don't worry, Chris. That is the most realistic woman. That's me. That's you. Chris, you're hot. You're beautiful, Chris. You are like the prettiest dentist assistant. I was just seeing that. Like she's sleeping with your husband.

Oh my God, so many of my tears are dentists. Yes. And you know what, Chris? You're like as a male, you're pervert. You know what I'm saying? As a female,

she's a freak in the sheets, dude. She's a fuck in his life. She is a freak in the sheets where I can see it all day. She walks around Target with Bill does no problem. No problem. Oh, here's another. Self-checkout.

Here's another Rylan girl. Oh, wow. She's giving IG Face Tune model. I love how they incorporated Riley into your hair. Yeah, I don't know what happened. That's like, actually scary. Okay, here's another Morgan one. This one's more of like an in real life shot, you know, just you hanging out

with your birthday cake. And then this is you as a man. Whoa. Isn't that real? It's kind of Chad Michael Murray. Yeah, you do, yeah. It's like really real. This is scary. No, Faceap is the most twisted app to ever be put into the app store and I pay for it monthly.

We also did Jared with hair, which turned into sort of a meltdown. So this is Jared with hair. Because look how fucking cool I look, dude. I could see myself going, yeah, bra. It awfully makes you look old. Yeah, you look like an old fart that hangs out at the neighborhood sports. You look good. But I'm also not someone that cares if I look gold.

Like, I like the look I got right there. I look very established in life. And I could grow hair, which is cool. But you look cooler the way you are. Well, thank you. I appreciate that. Yeah, I agree with it. Doesn't take away the fact I wish I had the hair, though.

Yeah. Then we wanted to see what Jared would look like as a woman. And, um... Oh, yeah. She reviews, for sure. Fucking Karen, dude. Why do I got to look like a Karen? Out of everyone in the world, that's like, if someone told me, hey, how do you explain

a Karen? And so, oh, shit, boy, I found this photo the other day of some chick. And it's pretty much a Karen. So let me show you that. And I won't even need to explain it because you'll see it. Oh, she's a suburb real estate agent. So angry. So then I wanted to see what we all would look like as women.

Wow. I wish I was a girl. Gosh, you're hot, too, Shane. And look at Chris and this one. That's a different girl than we saw before. She's like a little goth, a little scary. Then we did old, and this one really threw me through. That should trip me out because of how much I look like our dad.

It's very realistic. Oh, my gosh, you do look like your dad. Well, that's what I'm saying. Like, how does it know, or is it just that's it? Yeah, so that was our face app journey. It was really weird, but I don't regret it wild. That was amazing. Face app hit different, yo.

No crumbs. So wait, before we started the show. show, you said, oh, should I talk about the litter box thing? And Rylan was like, yeah, what litter box thing? Because this sounds intense. Give us the scoop. I thought that's what. Did you need to do that?

No crones? Of course I did, but I was trying to keep it way dry. This is what my issue is today. If I've seen like I'm in a pissed off mood, well, I was, I've healed from this now. But my whole soggy yesterday was that the toilet at my apartment broke. Like, I don't know what's wrong with it. I don't think it's clogged because the water is clear, but it just. rises and falls clear water.

So then I was like, okay, well, I'll just go to Target and get a plunger. Well, I go down to the parking garage. My tire is flat. I can't go anywhere. And I was like, I'm not going to. And then I was like, okay, I'll Uber to Target. But then in my. My rational thought process, no.

Did your emotional app warn you of this? The toilet was going to get clogged while I had a flat tire and had your distressed day. Yeah. Mercury retrograde. Yeah. So I go down at the parking garage. I'm like, I'm going to go to Target and get a plunger and see if that's a problem. But then there's a massive screw in the tire

The tire is completely flat And I'm like I can't Uber to target To get a plunger And then Uber back And the driver sees me with a plunger And then you have to haul it up the elevator too That's the awkward thing about living in a high rise I know

You could have bought a little duffel And hit it Oh cheap trick later on in life Yeah yeah Yeah so then I was just like Trying to problem solve really fast Because I was really thinking like What is the best situation

You're like do I shit in the sink Do I shit in the sink? Don't, there's a bathroom right outside your apartment. Literally, you open your door. Oh my gosh, Morgan. And there's a public restroom and it's beautiful. I can't do the public thing. I have to be at home in my own vicinity, in my own.

Yeah, pooping specific. I can't wait to hear how this went down. No, I think that if you're in a pinch, I lifted the lid off of the litter box because, no, I was sitting on the toilet. I was like, I just can't do it. I can't shit in the toilet knowing that it might not flush because I can't live with that type of guilt in my life. Because who knows when it's going to get. fix and then if a maintenance guy has to come fix it and I'm like can you fix my toilet with a pile of shit in it no no I would have to move out oh my god so I was sitting on the toilet

then you know what I should do I pondered the sink I pondered the trash can I pondered going somewhere like to mom and dads maybe but the tire is flat and then I saw cookie in the litter box wow I was like that's a good idea so I lifted the lid off and I popped a squat and I just went for it and then what what that are you what I don't even know how to react I mean that's the craziest thing a person has ever done in the history of the world

well then what do you do are you going to scoop it with the rest of your cash on? Do you know how much money you could have made if that was on only fans? That's all I could think. Holy shit. Is it still sitting there waiting for your arrival? That's a billion dollar video.

Do you have it on tape? No. It seems like the trash can would have taken a step out of the equation. Wait, what did you do next? No, because then I was thinking if you did shit in the trash can you're subjecting the person that cleans up the dumpster underneath to your shit.

No, no, no, I'm talking into your trash can with a trash bag. Then you just take the trash bag. No, but then I was thinking, if you put it in the litter, it does what it's meant to do. It collects the shit into a pile. I don't think there was something better you could have done. I was thinking about the trash people below. I was thinking about my lovely neighbors. I was thinking about the maintenance people that I don't want to have to stay at my shablish.

A long. And then, wait. Are you on your phone? What kind of living? box. Oh, it's just like a little one on the floor. So then how did you, and this is a lot, but how did you get the litter to coat your shit? I'll just powder on.

Because cats, like, they do. Maybe Cookie did it for her. Well, when I was looking at it, this is the last time that I've had to shit. So this was the last problem. I just lifted the whole bag out of litter box, tied it up. It was ready to go. And I put it all down the trash. Because then I was like, no one's going to know if it's the cat shit versus my shit.

Where you just put it in a little. I think they'll know. You know, when was this? When was this? Because, guys, there's something serious that's going to go down. When was this? Last night. And is your toilet fixed?

No. So you're still holding some of it today. I'm concerned about your well-being. Because I think your cat is going to, from his perspective, is like, did she just assert that level of dominance? Oh, yeah. Because cats are a very, like, they're a sacred animal, you know? They run the roost. Oh.

Well, yeah. You didn't close the door for some privacy? She probably thought, yo, is she trying to insert? her fucking kingdom on me right now by pooping in my shit. And then you wiped your butt and then put the wipes in their tube. How big is this box?

And when are they going to fix your toilet? Are you going home to a toilet tonight that doesn't work? Yeah. So it's an issue. Okay. There's a lot of issues here. Imagine if I publicly said I shit in a litter box. Well,

that's because the way that you've been portrayed on the internet for years and years and years. You've done that to yourself. People would be like. oh what my god he's fucking but you do it and it's a problem I do think people have the same reaction it just it will be oh my god it's fucking weird but

it's a problem no you gotta do what else you're gonna do because a legitimate problem that I had that I had to get solved right away it was either the sink the trash can or the litter box and you're right you can't do the toilet because the maintenance man you there's no coming back from that there's not coming back from that and I like the guys in the lobby so I can't

deal with that and who knows what if the maintenance man is your future husband think about all the guys that are like on their little dating apps and they're like I love to go camping where do they shit on the ground for us all to look at well they dig a hole okay well I buried it in a little clumping no you killed it I'm not talking shit you killed no 10 out of 10

problem solving a little worried about how your cat's gonna respond but inventive and thoughtful it was an out of character so I was a little pissed off last night and then I don't usually like write if someone leaves me a rude comment I'm not really the type to write back oh I went off on a bitch

And then I was like, oh my gosh. I had a whole realization last night because I always wonder like, who are these people that write these angry comments? And then after I had a horrible night where I had to go shit in the litter box because my tire was flat. I wrote this bitch the angriest comment back where I was like, take a fucking hike, bitch. And then I was thinking, oh, I only did that because I was really angry at my own life. Yeah.

So now I look at all the people who really mean, really mean comments. I'm like, maybe you're angry at your own life too because I wasn't out of character. Wow. I've been doing that recently too. They're all shitting in litter boxes. Yeah. I've been acting out when things have been going wrong. So we need to check ourselves.

Yeah. Wow. I like that realization. That was cool. I don't want it to seem like I'm judging you because to me personally, that's the most iconic thing I've seen your piss in a water bottle. Oh. I would say that's not too bad.

What is worse? The piss in the water bottle or the shit in the litter box? Well, this is actually another girl thing. So to guys, that's really normal. And back when I was getting canceled, there was so much about shaming peas and bottles. cheese and bottles that's so gross and i'm like if i was in a car i would do it too i'm like it's literally nothing but i think girls because a lot of girls were canceling me i think girls were like he's so stinky and gross he pisses and bottles and i'm like your boyfriend does too baby

i don't think there's a better solution than what i had and if anyone has a better solution no i think not only was it a great solution but like you turned it into such an amazing message that was great oh no nobody can turn that into a negative there's no way that was deep that was cool okay welcome back to conspiracy corner except i don't really have any conspiracies although i do have One Mandela effect. Just one. Morgan. Whoa.

The movie. He incurred herself as a Mandela. I don't exist. Shane created me in a lab. The Little Mermaid. How does the famous song go from the Little Mermaid? Under the Sea. Okay.

The other one. Wish I could be. Oh, I wish I had feet or something. I want to see that movie. I wish I had fear of things. Oh, part of your world. Well, what if I... Diamonds and glitters.

Yeah, that, okay. Keep going. I don't know the lyrics. I know that's good. Now, what if I told you that that song does not say part of your world? And it never has said part of your world. What is the? And that is a Mandela effect.

It says part of that world. Isn't that crazy when I saw that? I was like, what? Isn't the song called part of your world? Sorry, sorry. Wait, so did they change? the title, too? I don't know,

but it's never said part of your world. It's part of that world. The other song is better. So do I. I. Oh. I don't see. Right.

Yeah. That's a great point. Who cares when there's a better song? I don't give a fuck about the stupid mermaid. I like the crab. So just like every. And the yellow fish. Yes.

So I don't care what world she wants to be. And honestly, I think that she lives in a self-fulfilling prophecy where she should just get the fuck over it, be a mermaid and deal with it. I'm like, I don't know if I should clap for that. Wow.

That's a lot. Wow, you're going to be an interesting mother. All Disney princesses. No, the Disney princesses are all victim village. Go off. They all live in victim village.

Go off. And literally, I just want to say, shut the fuck up, your stupid princess and get over it. Hold on. There's a crumb. Get it.

Keep going. Having you seen the thing about Snow White, and she's like 16 and the old-ass man's trying to kiss her while she's dead in a coma. Snow White. She's a child, a sleep. I guess I've never seen it. And then an old man's over her like,

kiss me in your wake up. Like, ew. Wow. You're really going off. Yikes. What else? Is that her fault, though? No, that's not, that's what I'm saying.

It's not her for, well, she might be the exception. But, like, Cinderella, just clean the floors, bitch. Whoa. I don't know any of the storylines enough. And the crumb has been picked up. Wow, she hoovered back in the crumb. Damn. Like, Rapunzel, just jump.

What? Okay, guys. I don't think I'm well versed in the stories enough to know what this means. You're bringing in a conspiracy corner. What are you saying? The tower's not that high. Tie your hair up to the ceiling. You have a thing, a rope to get down.

You can get out of there. This bitch never seen parkour? Exactly. There's a way to do it, right? Come on, dude. You don't go to YouTube? Chris is going to cry. You're like really emotionally affected by what she's saying right now.

No. Are you? Are you? I just sounds like, I think she's going to die if she jumped. Not like jump like suicide. jump like escape girl get out and build a new life that's how they want you to feel trapped dude you're not gonna die you're gonna fucking flip out of it well wow i really enjoyed that thank you yeah you look like our aerial in your wig i feel like it very much so but you have feet and

she doesn't i want to be a part of that world whoa whoa okay Jared's not weird i didn't like that fuel i did i have to pee so bad that i'm like i have like a pregnant belly of pee Oh my gosh, wait, this is the first time we've had somebody else here for the recap. This is exciting, scary. Get excited for the bop of the song that this is. Okay, and Morgan, if you feel like dancing, get into it. You'll be on camera, so do it. If you don't, you better do it.

My camera action, Rylid's recap is about to happen. Ryland's recap. Regina's recap. On today's episode of the Shane Dawson podcast, the boys and girl. Cosplay is mean girls' characters. I forgot we had a girl on the show. I was like, the guys, and then there was a girl.

I don't know. What do you want from me? The boys bully Regina, even though she's the mean girl. Morgan joins the show as the first ever female, and boy, oh boy, does she get down and dirty? Just pause, pause. Let's clap. That was so fucking amazing right there. Dude, that was like Brilliant.

Okay, let's go. Keep going. Morgan shit in a litter box. Morgan shit in a litter box. And if you don't think it's real, here's the timestamp. Twitter is freaking out. But it's okay because the boys pee in bottles.

Oh, Chris broke a windshield. In today's episode, Chris reveals his angry side. Never did we think he could break a window, yet he busted one with his fist. Oh, also we got banned from Snapchat for a dildo. Oh, yeah. Chris reveals he, he was banned from...

It was TikTok, right? Yeah. Morgan rats out Chris for getting banned from TikTok showing his big old dildo. The boys teach Morgan what a grower is. She had no idea. Ariel freaking sucks. Oh, yeah. Morgan hates Disney.

Chris is sad by it. Yeah. Morgan reveals she hates all Disney princesses saying they live in victim village. Chris took this personally and literally started crying. Did it have any impact on your views on Morgan? Because earlier on, I feel like you proposed to her or something like that. Oh, right, right? Right?

So, like, did that have any bearing on your feelings? I still want to marry Morgan. Morgan reveals she would marry Chris. I couldn't stop bleeding and I ruined the show. Oh, Katie Heron, and true Katie Heron fashion shows up, steals the attention, and couldn't stop bleeding. Big old blood bubble girl. Okay. Stole the show.

This is the biggest perv. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Chris is a pervert. Chris doesn't identify as a pervert. Oh, the group comes to a conclusion on who the biggest pervert is. It was revealed to be Chris, yet he doesn't identify as a pervert himself. I like sex. Why is that bad? Chris likes sex, which we all think is fine.

That was aggressive. I'm a pervert. Me too. I'm a pervert. I don't fucking care. Who cares? I'm a perv. Morgan reveals that you can buy a dildo in Target.

It's no big deal. Jared thinks the second you walk out. out, be careful because you could become a sexual predator. Whoa. Just saying, is there a dildo that can be a grower? Yeah, I'm sure. We need to invent that. We'll get on it. Incredible. Yeah. Like you put it,

wait, as a girl, tell us if this is a good idea. She doesn't know what a grower is. It's called Dilgrow. Yes, so it's small, and you put it in, and then it grows and gets bigger. Whoa. That sounds like a safety hazard. It gets burst to its penis inside of you. That sounds like one of those things that you drop

in water and it grows into an animal. Exactly. It's in you. Exactly. That's the best way to put it. Revisit that. Chris's boyfriend no longer attracted him because he shaved his face. Oh, oh, yes.

Yes. Chris's boyfriend is kind of abusive, but he loves it. It's just in sarcastic fun. Don't worry. They're going to break up soon because Chris shaped his face. This was, everybody go follow all of us on Snapchat. Oh my gosh. In other news, everyone is Snapchating.

It's a Snapchat party. Follow us all on Snapchat. We'll be listed in the description section below. We hope you enjoyed your time here at the Shane Dawson podcast. And obviously, we have to thank our first guest, woman guest. Morgan Adams. Really quick. One to five, how do you rate us?

How good was it? Like a quick survey? Was it exciting? Did we have fun? Yes. Wow. Follow her on her own blog channel at Morgan Vlogs or Morgan's vlogs. I'll find it.

The two S's. And her Snapchat. And her Snapchat. Post a picture of the litter box. Follow her on Instagram. We're all flopping on Instagram. I'm not saying you are, but I'm just assuming. Oh, that was so mean.

I'm saying everyone's flopping on Instagram. No, we were talking about how everyone's stories just get cut in half and half and half. You need to take off that wig. Sorry. You're too mean. This is about me. I'm flopping on Instagram. You know who you did?

You know whose vibes are giving me right now, too? What? Is back in the day, Foxx. 11, Good Day, L.A., Jillian Barbary. Yes. Thank you. We went on a deep type of her the other day. We did.

She had bigger boobs. That's it. But everything else is the same. All right. Well, make sure you hit that subscribe button, like, follow, to all the things. And we'll see you right here in two weeks on the Shane Dawson podcast. You perverts. All right.

Well, that was a, thank you so much, Morgan, for coming. Sorry, it was such a fucking nightmare. And I hope that you'll come back. She gave a sense. Happy to be here. Yeah, we're going to go eat pizza. Hopefully you guys enjoyed whatever the hell. Well, this really was.

And, yeah, we'll see you next time. You guys are going to eat pizza? Just saying. I'm Regina. Take off that wig. See us next time. Bye. You know,