The Shane Dawson Podcast - We CAUGHT Them LYING... Conspiracy Theories That Will SCARE You

Episode Date: October 4, 2023

In this episode the guys are dressed as the characters for SCREAM and ready for Halloween!!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For reference, this is how hairy my butt is right now. Oh! No! Whoa! That's on YouTube! Is that not gonna burn? Oh, is that safe? That's not safe.

You can't put an air on your butt hole? Hello? Hello. Gail Wethers, reporting for duty. Deputy Dewey. We all go a little crazy sometimes. This is Casey. Who is this?

Who is that? What's your favorite Syrian movie? Michael Myers. Wasn't that one of the things? Wow. I can't even look at you. You're like, okay, first of all, thank you for doing it. this. Of course. It's a lot.

What? You're thinking, Jared for doing this? Are you fucking kidding me? I could kill you right now. It's like the most comfortable swelder I've never worn in my life. You're welcome. Thank you. Okay, first of all, before we get into the podcast, hey guys, welcome back to whatever the hell this is. Scream Edition. I can't believe it's taking us

so long to do this. My favorite movie of all time besides Titanic. Ooh, we should do that next. Definitely. I'm Jack. I'm not shaving again. Well, okay, here's the thing. I'm pissed. I'm Gail Weathers. Reporting for fucking duty, bitches. Here I am, ready to party. Move your fat tub of lord ass now!

But the thing is, I thought, like, oh, if I'm going to be a girl, then Shane makes me shave, and then I walk on set, and I look at Jared, and he's got his full fucking beard. Yeah, but here's the thing. There's a backstory to it. Jared told me on this. I actually survived. I'm Casey. I survived.

I had to go into witness protection, though. I'm coming out for this. Obviously, it's an important podcast. Right. But this is my new look. Yeah. You know, I've been taking, I'm on the tea, you know. So the little facial hair.

Yes. So this is just the evolution of Casey Beckham. So you're just a better salesman than me. I'm going to sell you better next time on why I, as a female, I need a beard. It's 2023, bitch. Okay, calm down, which I can have armpit hair if I want. Okay, side note, we're on Nipple Watch. Okay, Nipple Watch 2023 because Rylan is wearing very realistic breastwheres.

Can I just show? We can blur this once. Whoa. They're so real looking. It's a lot. I know. I know. It's uncomfortable.

They're really good. It can turn me straight. So what we're going to do is anytime your nipple pops out, we will blur it, but we're on nipple watch. So we have to make sure to let Gail know when her titty's around. And we want just enough without showing too much to get demonetized. God, you really are, Gail. And then over here we have one of my favorite characters of all time, Billy fucking Loomis. We all go a little bad sometimes.

I want you to fucking stab me, rearrange my guts, and then spit on my grave. This is a nice costume. You look good. I don't, I feel like a different person. It's amazing we were talking about this, how a wig alone, just like, I'm like, who am I? I don't recognize myself. I don't. Like, it does a lot.

I love how your makeup's like, whoever he killed, tried one last time. Yeah. One last. It's a little tiny hand on his face. It's like. Look at it. He has like fingers. Uh-huh.

I didn't kill anybody, though. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I believe you. I'll get to the bottom of this. It's so stupid. Wait, what am I? Oh, I'm Dewey.

I'm Deputy Dewey, soon-to-be Sheriff Dewey around here. The song that comes up, like, it's just so nostalgic. You know, we probably can't play it because of copyright, but just imagine. Yeah. Me, Dewey, walking down the street, becoming a thing. Oh. That is the actor who played Dewey and the actress who played Gail met on Scream, and they got married right afterward. For a little bit.

That was really good. Yeah, it ended not good. But it's, you know, whatever. We're fine. Yeah. Okay. Anyways, Jared, you look great. Thank you.

I was actually thinking you don't look like Casey Becker. You look more like a record producer or like Swedish. Or like the guy who made all Britney Spears hits. Yeah. I feel like you. Okay. So I feel like throughout the episode, we should embrace our characters. So I'm going to fuck up a lot.

I'm going to fumble. I'm going to be stupid but lovable. Gail's going to be a fucking bitch. It's going to be very hard. for me. Yeah. Chris is going to be a psychopathic lover because we're not supposed to know you're the killer, even though it's very obvious right now.

I'm not. I've never killed anybody. Right. And Casey, you're just, you know. Dead. Dead. You're just fucking gutted. Okay.

So, oh, also really quick, before we really get, we've already started the show. But before we really start, I want to let you guys know that we have a new audio podcast. So yes, we upload these episodes as audio versions on Spotify and iTunes. But we're trying a new audio-only thing, so there'll be extra episodes if you go subscribe on Spotify and iTunes. It's for free. Right now, we have a couple episodes of just me and Rylan fighting. It's called Fights with Shane and Rylent. Soon, I think we should do Jared and Sandy, maybe relationship advice.

Wow, I would listen to Jared and Sandy. For sure, for sure. And Chris, something gay. I've been to it already. I'm getting a lot of emails from large men who are asking if they're too large for Chris's taste. Whoa, that is not a lot. appropriate for the podcast for him to be like that one's too large no no no that one's fine it's not at all because it's all personal preference right like it's only chris's opinion it's not a reflection of

the world's opinion yeah so we could do like a rating the bear okay it's still a form of like smash or pass which you know like hurts your feelings deeply oh right but they want it the bears are okay i mean if they're asking yeah oh the honey pot we'll figure it out i'll come help with the name um okay so i saw something today that i just want to get your guys's thoughts on um because it made me feel very angry and very old and uh very much hating the next generation which i'm trying not to do i'm trying to embrace them but i saw this and um i'm going to text you guys right now i have no reception and we're in the group chat something really funny just happened and then i sent you guys his text audible i just bowled over lunch i yeah

I don't know. What is the side? I just bawled out loud. Oh, I get it. I get it. Okay, I get it. I get it. You see it again?

It's an acronym. I thought it was like when I spell it out, it sounds like something stupid. So this is what Gen Z is saying to each other now. I just blew a load. Oh, load. I just about lost it now. No, I like this. I like this.

I just Is it I just became? No. So we're just, Oh. Give us a hint. Oh. Do all young people

to do this is? I think they do. So supposedly LOL is dead. Gen Z thinks we're so stupid for using it. And they've replaced it with IJBOL, which is so hard to do. It's just like not practical. No.

I just barth of laughter. No, but that's good. But also that's like so much more work to type. We did LOL to make it abbreviated. real are we making it up so it stands for i just burst out laughing oh i hate it i want to kill everyone billy go kill them for me now this is the crazy thing so i've been seeing articles about this everybody saying gen z canceled l-o-l it's all about i jibble now but then when i looked at

urban dictionary this is a definition from december of 2009 by at give you becky shout out it says i just burst out laughing when someone says something extremely funny you say i j b o l instead of L. So it's not new. This was 2009. So that was the precursor probably to LOL. And then somebody found the better solution, which was LOL. And now Chugi millennials like me just used the cry, laugh, the emoji face because it's one instead of three. LOL is a lot harder than that. Yeah, we're just looking for the easiest, quickest way to get the message across.

I'm proud to say I've never received that text. Neither have I. That's like a hate bud type situation for me if you text me that. I feel attacked every time. I won't say it anymore. Oh, by the way, I dig an email from somebody. I forgot her name. Let's call her Cindy.

But she said her ick is instead of when guys say, hey, bud. The girl version is when girls say KK. KK. I know. It's a little less condescending because it's not as personal. It's not like I'm personally putting this upon you. Like, hey, bud, is like, I don't even like just a single K. I feel like it's way too lazy.

Sorry, I just can't stop looking at your titties. Yeah, so you know what? Here's my thought on the whole Gen Z millennial thing. I'm never going to use Jabobu ever in my whole life. If I start using that, kill me. Like, that's a thing. I feel like all the millennials that are trying to be Gen Z, it's embarrassing, right? Like trying to do the new slang and trying to like, oh, it's the for me.

But even that's old. But it's the dad-bod fetish for me, though. It's the constant need of validation from men for me. The new one is, no, but because you look like a record producer. No, it's the whatever is what? whatevering like the garage is garaging because it opened yeah the tits are titting the tits are titting i will say i have i mean kind of jokingly but i have said the math's not mathing that to me is millennial i feel like because gen z like they are already over that and millennials are just catching up wow

but watch now that it's like such a thing it's gonna be like the lights are lighting i'm gonna start doing it that was just all like foreign to me i'm like what the hell you talk you're lucky it hasn't across your desk. I know. I feel good about that. As a reporter on today's world. A lot of a lot of my clients use these things. I know because they're all short-form traders. They're all trying to be young. Well, no. I don't know them. I don't know. I'm saying it's because they're doing short-form content and that is what that is right now. Right. Yeah. So millennials out there keep saying LOL. Don't embarrass yourself. Okay, really quick, I'm just going to take off my jacket because I'm dying. Okay. I know. I said we were done with it and I keep bringing it back. No. But

This is the perfect test for today because we might have a cycle bath in the room. Oh, I thought it was the blue and black dress. No, I thought it was too. I got so nervous. That's a little later. Okay, so we have a new psychopath test. I have not watched us yet. Somebody sent me this.

This is a video version of the psychopath test. I love those. Oh, yeah. Sorry, I'm milking. I'm feeding. Okay, here we go. So listen up. This is a video.

This is a put a finger down type of thing. Oh, love it. So here we go. Play it home. Put a finger down. Psychopath edition. If you put over five fingers down, you are a psychopath. Let's get started.

Put a finger down if you like to eat ice. Hawaii starts with the music we play on our islands, playing the moment you step on the plane. Hawaii starts with extra space to spread out and relax so you can get a head start on getting into vacation mode. Hawaii starts with more room to reconnect, and enjoy a taste of what's waiting for you when you land. Hawaii starts here with Hawaiian Airlines.

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You want this translated into soul? song? I hope you're sitting down. You can pay your own way. You keep those ears on, you hear? Don't just pay, baby. PayPal. Learn more at PayPal.com. Put a finger down if you can cry on command. Put a finger down if you laugh when kids trip and fall.

I mean, depends. If I know they're okay. If you're a Virgo, Gemini, Sagittarius, or Pisces. Ooh. Put a finger down. If you were a quiet kid Very loud Put a finger down if you can taste different kinds of water

No you can't Put a finger down if you get annoyed when someone breathes too loud Shane, that's you I'll do it If you can tell people by their footsteps Weird The fuck? Put your finger down if you have made the first person you see

When you click on share, then more cry What? That's so annoying Put a finger down if you have multiple people personalities for different people. Comment how many fingers you put down, you psychopath. And follow for more, put your finger downs. I'm posting daily.

I did three and I felt like I was generous with a few. I did four and I feel like I could have done five. Wow. I have two fingers left. I have two fingers left, but there was one I was like maybe, like, I'm sure I've seen some like a reel or something of like a kid falling that made me laugh at some point. But in general, if like a child falls in front of me, I'm like, oh my God. And I like panic.

You know what is the saddest thing ever Wait, nobody's a psychopath, right? I could have been one. Yeah, and I could have put the last one down, but I just didn't. That's a psycho shit, is that you avoided it. Well, I'd have to look to see if, like, I've made the person cry. You're a psychopath. You're like, if you laugh at kids, you probably lack empathy.

Well, no, I'm thinking, like, when you're searching, like, Biffitt clips on YouTube, and it's not exclusively children, but there's, like, include kids. Can we watch? Okay, this is so stupid. Kids Fallen. Yeah, I can watch kids falling. Okay, I love videos of people falling down.

Although I will say my new favorite genre, but it's a saddest genre, is people who have their hands full in the morning and they're coming down the stairs. Or they're like going out. Dude, that sounds great. It's good. That's like pothole footage. But how did you know with that test of your cycle? How many fingers do you have to have down? Five.

Five. Oh. Yeah, so we're fine, except for him. We're good. Don't worry, Chris. Okay, we're going to take a quick little break. and when we come back, we have some of the craziest voicemails I've ever heard in my life and also some conspiracies.

So stay tuned. Stay with us. Yeah. Oh, you should sign off. Okay. What's the story? What's the story? Shane's going to go pee really fast.

Okay. Our captain Shane's going pee real fast, but when we come back, conspiracy theories. Stay here. Nine News. Hey, sorry to interrupt the show. And yes, I'm here in my kitchen. I just wanted to switch it up. Just like I switched up, my hair routine.

I'll leave. Okay, please, don't go anywhere. I know. It's very tempting to skip ads. I get it. But I want to tell you something that's going to change your life. And I know I've been saying this for months. Some of you guys have been listening to me and purchasing it.

Some of you guys have been ignoring me and saying, you know what, Shane, I'm fine with my fucked up hair. And I'm here to say, no, you're not fine. It looks crazy. I saw you on the street. And I was like, damn, he or she or they need hair story. I don't want to call it out because, you know, like I'm trying to. to be polite, but it was a mess. I'm just kidding. I have not seen your hair. That would be weird. Can you imagine? But I do really love Hair Story. I've been using it for months. I love

my hair now. My hair before had some issues. And it really did fix it. Like, look at this. Look at this softness. Look at the curls. So as you guys already know, I've talked about so many times before. Hair Story is the best hair product, hair company in the world. And the product that they're most known for and the one I want to talk about today is their new wash. So the shampoos that you get at the store have a lot of chemicals in them. I did not know that. A lot of things that are actually not good for your hair, which is why, Over time, they've been saying, don't wash your hair more than, you know, once or twice a week. It's because the shampoos are stripping your hair and, like, putting weird chemicals on your head.

Well, new wash has none of that. It is natural, and it nourishes and cleans your hair without stripping it or putting chemicals. It saves you money, you don't have to buy a shampoo, conditioner, a bunch of stuff. I love my new wash. And you can get one of the little bottles, and it's really cute. It says new wash on it. You can put that in your shower. You could refill.

It's great. Also, the packaging is 100% biodegradable, which listen, we're changing the world, ladies. And if you guys want to try it out, which I really think you should. I'm not just saying this. Trust me, everybody in my life, I have got them on new wash. Go to hairstory.com, use code grower, and get 20% off exclusive savings when you try new wash for yourself. That's hairstory.com and use code grower at checkout. And also, if you use it and you like it, send pictures of your hair to Shane Dawson podcast stuff at gmail.com

So I can see the before and afters and maybe use them if you want me to. I also just get excited to see how excited you guys are about your hair. Okay, I'm going to go and I hope you enjoy the rest of the show. Bye me. Okay. Back, voicemails. So, I have what might possibly be the biggest banger we've ever had on the show. It's been a while since we've had a new original song from Fiverr.

No way. That's huge. I was inspired by so many of the voicemails that we've been getting about this topic. So I got a song specifically for it. Wouldn't there have to be a title of the segment for there to be a song? Is this a song about cucks? You're revealing the title of this segment? Well, inside of the segment.

All right. Okay. So here we go, our new segment on the show. Is my husband gay? That's it. Is my husband gay? That's the other one, yes. Honestly, I'm kind of not sure.

Is my husband gay? Dude, this will be what the radio sounds like in like two years. He just acts so gay. Oh, my God. So gay. That is, I could listen three more times. And I just want to say, yes, you're. husband's fucking gay if you're asking.

Is my husband gay? Yes. Yes, he is. So, yes, we get so many voicemails to the phone number on this screen right here. Leave your own voicemail. We get so many women calling, asking if their husbands are gay. It's like a lot. It's actually kind of a problem.

Yes, he's gay. There should almost be like a default when you call. It's like, is this about is your husband gay? If they say yes, the answer is yes. You know? Right. It's shocking how many. married men are gay.

I know. Like, I remember when Craigs is, I'm sure I've we talked about this, sorry, this is a repeat. But like on Craigslist, personal is when that was the thing, you could look men seeking men and like in like a 10 mile radius. I would just type in like married, just out of curiosity. And there'd be like 20 pages of like thousands of like a 10-mile. Because my friend was- Is he a psychopath? No, my friend showed me.

There's no way in a 10-mile radius there was thousands. No, if you're in California. If you're in Hollywood. That's crazy. Like pages and pages and pages. And each page is like 40, 50 results or something. And my friend was like, I didn't even know personal's was a thing. And he was like, look, watch.

Type in married, see what happens. And I was like, all right. And I did it. And it was just pages and pages and pages. Wife's gone. Looking for a guy. Wife's gone looking to get really. How many did you get?

None. I wouldn't hook up with someone in a relationship. I recently learned that pegging doesn't mean you're gay, though. What's happening? I don't even know what pegging is. Oh, really? It's a. I can assume.

I've learned that if you're a straight dude that just wants your prostate massage, that doesn't mean you're an F word. But yeah, girl puts on a strap on and, you know, handles her man. So I don't actually have it is my husband gay for this episode, which I guess I just need to go look for one. But I do have a is my something gay. Here we go. I like it. Hi, Shane. This is Isabel from St. Louis, Missouri.

So, okay, I have a question, a gay-related question about animals. So my dog has some very weird interests, and the only way I can explain it is that he, like, butt stuff. And what I mean by that is he will literally try to back his, like, asshole up into your foot and, like, rub it against you. And he's already done it to my therapist, and I have to explain to her that I've got, like, suck stuff. And then she's, like, go into detail about that for me. What do you think it means? So I'm posing the question to you. What does this mean?

Is my dog okay? No, he's gay. Can he give me to assume his sexual orientation or like what? Maybe he just has a prostate and he wants to be pegged. Okay. First of all, I have questions. Number one, why was your therapist there? Yeah.

Was the dog in therapy with you? Is this a therapy dog? Okay. Is he getting turned on by your trauma? Yes. Does your therapist just come over and your dog's hanging out? Or is it, maybe is this a big issue in her life? So she's like, I think you should bring your dog into therapy and show me.

I would ask, do you have any carpeting in your house? I know where you're going with this. Because it sounds to me like. Like your dog has worms. Yes. I was thinking that too. And if it's back in his thing up to your foot, it's probably because you're wearing socks. Yes.

And it wants to scratch its butt on your socks. Okay. You crack the code. Wow, I'm not well versed in worms, but this seems right. If your husband backs his ass up up. Yes. He's gay. No, he's just straight and likes his prostate touch.

Oh, right, right. To further what you're saying, I googled it. It says like when a dog scoots, when it likes, you know, on a rut, it's like scooting. is often a normal response to having an itchy rear end, which is either due to full anal glands or can be like an infection or like a parasite. I was going to say sometimes I get up to the corner of like a room. And I like back my ass.

You're gay as fuck. Well, no, it's because itches. Hemorrhoids. You have worms? Yeah. Okay. Next voicemail. Hey, Shane.

My name's Taylor. I saw your podcast. where you talked about growers and showers. Which one? One time I hooked up with a guy and when we were done, he stood up and his dick like literally went inside his stomach. And apparently it's a thing. Like if you Google any penis,

it's something that like men have where they're a grower, but it goes inside their stomach. So look it up, let me know. What do you think about that? Uh, all right. Thanks, bye. Yeah, let me go to the bathroom right now and look it up. I'll take your word, Taylor.

I think you've done the research for all of us. Wait, but you've let us do a conclusion we can agree on there's any. Okay, here's what I will say. How big was the man that you were hooking up with? Oh, yeah, she was a very husky man. Yes, because at my huskyist, you know, nearing four hundredie, that was, that, that, that hot dog went in the bun. What? Fupa cave?

What? What? Oh my gosh, what? All right, come back in. So you gain enough weight right here that it disappears in the foofa. Every 20 pounds you lose, you gain an inch. So then do you have to go searching for it

if you have to pee? I'm not trying to make fun of. No, I'm genuinely curious. You just said the foo. It's like, you go, okay, ready? Like, oh, like a push pop. Dude, that was like. Wow, I'm sorry, my face seems really judgmental.

I just wasn't aware. Uh-huh. That was like science class level Thank you What you just did did it That was great Listen if I was for Hyundai again Which who knows we could get there

I would be the best drag queen Because it would tuck instantly Well you wouldn't have to be naked To be a drag queen Would you? You gotta show proof You'd still have to put the balls somewhere You shove the balls in there too

You shove the balls in the ass Don't you? No no no the balls go Into their own socket Never mind It sounds painful Yeah I'm so impressed by drag queen Um okay

Next is voicemail. Hey, Sharon. I just had a really weird story for you because you need to hear it. When I was 19, I had a man buy my urine off of the internet and I put it in a little container, shifted off their UPS, and he sent me a video of him dumping it in a Ziploc bag, poking holes, and showering in my pit. Is it just like her bragging? Oh.

How much did you get paid for that? Was she like a pioneer? It ended. That was iconic. Good job. Oh, yeah. I love to see the video. Wait, but how old was this woman that told the pee?

I don't know if she didn't say. Oh, I was like, okay. Well, she was 19 when she sold her pee. Oh, that's okay. Okay. I mean, I don't know if it's legal, but she might be 20 now for all we know. Okay, I have a bunch of voicemail. So I'm going to give you guys a list and you tell me which one you think sounds like the most fun finale.

Okay, ready? I have one called. Uh, my boss is a bitch. Okay. I have one called sad nipples. Not me. And I have one called I squirted in my mom's bed. I guess that gives it.

That's, wow. And I think I envision that one. Like, I can't. Sad nipples squirted in bed or my boss is a bitch. I couldn't even feel in sad nipples. I'm curious on what sad nipples could be. Yeah, I'm done for sad nipples. Me too.

Okay. None of nipple talk. Yeah. I agree. Okay. My name's Brianna and I was going to say that Sad nipple syndrome is a real thing. I'm not pregnant and I'm never breastfed,

but if someone or myself touches my nipples for too long, I get extremely sad and want to die. And it's called sad nipple syndrome. Can I re-vote? That's a good turn. Okay. I thought it was like nipples that looked funny or than droopy. I thought it was like droopy nipples.

That was pretty sad about nipples. We love... Okay. I love the voice fail. No, it was a great voice, but this is a pure joke. That's a joke thing. Jokes happen, you know, but... Jokes happen.

I will say, I agree with Brianna, I think her name was... You get sad nipples if I'm sucking? I mean, that's what it would be, right? Are you sucking? No, I can't have anybody touch my nipples. You'll do it occasionally. What about your belly button? And I'll scoot you over.

What? I'll scoot you over. What is that thing? What is that thing? I felt like overly giddy, dude. I'm doing it up. Okay, wait, okay. Let me wrap up the nipples and I want to get to your belly.

Because I feel like there's a story. There is. That's why I got so good. My bad, I thought we could relate. Long story is short, my nipples are created in a factory. What? That's sad. How does that make you sad?

That's sensitive, not sad. My nipples are extremely sensitive because of the nerves or whatever after my surgery a long time ago, blah, blah, blah. And yeah, if you touch them, It, like, fucking hurts. So, stop. But when you say created in a factory, like, that's going to be confusing to some people.

Okay, how do I say this? No, it is my nipples. So my nipples used to be like this, because I had big titties. You know. It's the visual. God damn. It's just like, no.

It's because he's like, no. My nipples were big. My nipples were, throw up the rack. My nipples were, you know, big. And they cut a little, they cut a little circle out of it to make my new nipple. Which looks like a nipple. A nipple graph.

Yes, but it like hurts when you touch it. Okay. And sometimes it leaks. Okay. No, it, what? No, I'm just kidding. Okay, Jared, your belly button. Do tell.

Okay. I just don't like my belly button touched, period. And maybe like two weeks ago. Like either by you or? I don't even like the idea. Touch your belly button. Does anyone share in the sentiment? Does anyone like having their belly button?

No, I just tried it. And I got the ick. Yeah, it's gross. If I touch it at the right angle, my dick gets itchy. It's like a sensation. I'm like hurting. Do you know what I'm talking about? If you go all the way in and yet your dick feels weird and your ass goes.

Okay, I didn't know if I was alone on that. Whoa. Maybe I was getting belly button banged or something. I feel like it was traumatic. I don't know. But, yeah, so Sandy will fuck around and try to fuck with my belly button, you know what I mean? And touch it because she knows it bothers me. And it's like a fun little game.

And one time. we were at the store and she was she had her card out because in her wallet because we were about to pay right and she went to touch my belly button and i i'm just reactionary right and i slapped the wallet on accident out of her hand because i was like stop move your hand and they had the wallet all of her cards fell underneath the chip display it's a more little old lady because i couldn't touch it for liability reasons had to come over and move this big old chip display and get cards oh it's funny oh good story yeah um wait so what is your belly button story because i felt like you wanted to relate and it was probably

a lot darker. I just don't, no, I just don't like when I get cum in my belly button. Oh. Because then you have to wash it out and if you don't wash it out because you're lazy, it starts to grow something. Or just me? I don't think I've ever had, I was shower right after so I've never had that. Every time you shower. Every time you come

you shower. Yeah, pretty much. I wouldn't even shower if I shit myself. What the fuck? I'm normally having sex when I'm coming and so I want to shower. You shower after that? Every time. Yeah, after sex, yeah. Wow.

Unless I'm not near a shower. That's wild. Is it? That's a lot. I just don't want... None of us do that, do we? No. I don't.

Maybe you're just hygienic. Or maybe you guys just get real gross. No, I just don't. I get sweaty. Like, you're active. Oh, my God, that just remembered. Okay, this is the perfect segue. Thank you, Chris.

Okay, speaking of gay shit. We didn't help that girl in her nipples at all, by the way. Oh, right. Sorry about your nipers. about your sad. No, that's very sad. That's sad. No, no, we're sorry.

We feel bad. We can't help, though. Like, we don't, we don't have, well, I do. I don't even have real needles. Okay. You're emails. So if you have any emails, you want to send us to go to Shane Dawson podcast stuff at gmail.com. We have a Matt LeBlanc update.

Shut the fuck up. We have an update. Okay. So if you guys remember a few episodes ago, they remember. We had somebody reach out to us and she said that she's related to Matt Leblanc and that Matt LeBlanc, she was going to try to get him to watch the podcast. And we were like, oh, my God, Matt, please come on the show. So she wrote me again.

Her name is Jill. Hi, Jill. Hopefully she showed him when we dressed up like friends. We got his agent's email address. Yes, we're in. We're good. We're good. Okay, it's actually like less than that.

Okay. So she said, hi, Shane. I literally cried watching the podcast. Couldn't be happier. I'm such a fan. I recorded the clip of you guys talking about Matt. And I'm going to show him during Thanksgiving. when I see him, I will update you ASAP.

So Thanksgiving's coming up, baby. We got our babies. We got Matt LeBlanc. I have a pitch. I have a pitch. Shut the fuck. Let's put together a little packet for her that's like really quick that we can just do like quick flashes and show when we dressed up as the Friends cast too.

Well, yes, Matt LeBlanc will see your tits. Don't worry. I just want to get his thoughts on me as Jen. Oh, okay. Yeah. The important thing. Okay. Having sent us an email, and she said, as a person with a two-th century,

retainer, a.k.a. my front tooth is fake. I just wanted to say that that guy that called in is definitely an asshole slash bitch because having this shit sucks. I'm currently in my six to eighth month process of getting a tooth implant and I spent almost $4,000 to be tortured all because of one freaking tooth. So heaven also sent us a picture of her with her tooth. Perfect. So you can see her front tooth. She's wearing a tooth retainer and she's wearing our merch. So thank you, heaven. She's so cute. I know. And we love you and your tooth. And any guy that doesn't want to be with you because of your tooth. Fuck them.

It's gay. It's gay. Fuck that. Obviously. Four grand. Good for you. Okay. Helene sent me an email.

She said, hey, Shane. I love the podcast. And I found some random lookalike pictures of you and Riley. So the first is your lookalike. Now, I have seen this before on the internet. So do you guys know who Dream is? No. I do actually.

Cardassian? I believe so. That's one of Kim's daughters. No way. Yeah. Dream? Dream? Dream Kardashian?

Get with it. So, yeah. So Dream was a YouTuber was a YouTuber who. didn't have a face like he had like a mask on he was a gamer or is a gamer and then he did a face reveal and i guess i was trending because people said he looked like me not in a nice way so i was getting texts from people being like oh my god that's so funny i saw you trending and i thought it got canceled again but no people were just making fun and dream saying ew you look like shane oh it's not nice and then there was an article that said uh dream gets bullied for looking like

change. No way. But if you look at the pictures, that one not as much. That I kind of see that one. That one me in 2010. Back in the day, yeah. So yeah, I guess I kind of see the dream resemblance. It's me 15 years ago,

50 pounds ago? How recent did he get canceled for looking like you? Meet the most capable CRV Honda has ever dreamed up. The all new CRV trail sport hybrid. With all terrain tires and available enhanced traction control. It's built for wherever the day takes you. Heated front seats and a heated

steering wheel. Ideal for winter drives and crisp early starts. And with generous cargo space, it's ready for big gear and even bigger getaways. The CRV Trail Sport Hybrid. Learn more at honda.com slash CRV. He didn't get canceled for looking at. Oh. Okay. You have to look pretty hard. You have to look pretty hard to see it. Right. And then somebody saw, Your lookalike. You didn't catch it. Okay. No.

Somebody saw your lookalike. This is you and one of our future babies. Look it. His hairline so much better than mine. Is that a Barbie? Yeah. That's Alan and Ryan. Wow.

Yeah, father and son. Thank you. That is going to be me. Look it with his vlog camera, gay flannel. So thank you, Helene. Okay. So this is, I got a lot of emails about this. Let me just read it.

This is from Janie. She said, there's a huge video on YouTube right now, and everybody's wondering why it hasn't been removed. I would love for you guys to do a blind reaction to it. Now, I will say, I watched the first five seconds because I'm like, what is this? Because I got so many emails about it. And I turned it off, and I was like, I'm saving this for the show.

So this is on YouTube, not flagged, not removed. I'm excited. This is, so just imagine you're scrolling on YouTube. I am like. So curious what I'm about. to see. You do it has like so many restrictions. Yes, they do, right? Is it educational maybe? Uh-oh. Maybe. I think that's like one loophole that they have. For reference, this is how hairy my butt is right now. No!

Oh, whoa! That's on YouTube? Oh, he's putting there. There! So it's, it is education. What's the? Are you getting tips? God! Is that not gonna burn? Oh, is that safe? That's not safe. Oh, dude. You can't put there on your butt hole.

Three minutes because I did that with my armpits, like I went to five minutes. No, this is like actually not safe for people. Right? I don't know. Let's see how clean again. So far, there's no stinging. Nothing's hurting. It's all good.

It's just like the cut edits to his butt. It was like a jump scare. It was like a jump scare. Was it? I'm scared. Ooh, it's a scary episode. Are you going to be able to hear us talk about it? So some hairs came off, but I feel like I need a little bit more time. I can't watch this.

I won't be able to eat for a week. Oh, no, we have a kitchen segment soon. Recovering from like. Oh, yeah, I got to be able to forget about this. All right. Should I just go to the end to see the finale? Yeah. Of course.

Oh, it looks. Whoa. It looks like that lady's dog. I just saw all the way up his fucking asshole. It also, like, that just looked with that cream. and everything like it looked rough do you think he put that up knowing what he's doing but put it

on your only fans well because it's like are people looking for this is there people saying like I'm sure I don't think he put it up to be helpful I think you put it up because he wants to get people to jerk off to it how many people have watched this so the only reason that's not taken down is because is that

what Jared said is educational wait let's guess how many views do you think that has oh a hundred thousand 5 million It's from two months ago Oh a million I'm standing by a million

Jared 5883,256 You're all fucking wrong It has 40 million views 40 million views Is that Is it monetized Probably

Damn should I make one Dude that's Oh man That's crazy Is that what we need to do on the podcast? Is that so we could have someone come on the podcast and do that

it's education oh my god oh my god just a split the whole time of a guy waxed in his bottle we should have the professional but in all seriousness if this is for education it's like teaching people a dangerous thing because I googled it to make sure

and it's like absolutely avoid getting there near your vaginal or rectum like if it's anywhere near you can get an infection it can burn it's like those are sensitive areas that you should not put in there says like every medical website so don't do that inside of his ass so it's like not it's not it's like you're teaching people a dangerous thing oh my god wow look at him hating on a gay person

wow this is homophobic how do you know that he's gay it's just billy oh yeah he's straight yeah that guy's straight men that shape my ass what they're a horror what that's crazy you don't know any straight in the if your i don't shave my booty as a gay man honestly god no off the top i had three straight men If your husband, they're not straight. If your husband nears his ass. If I walked in on my straight husband shaving his asshole. He does what's the one. Okay. Is he an actor?

No. Okay. He's a mechanic. We're going to take a quick puke break. Maybe it's like, has to do with sweat. Okay. And when we come back, shut up. When we come back, we're getting Chris's straight friend on the phone.

I need to get to the bottom of this. Okay. The bottom of this. He's a bottom for sure. Okay. Well, we come back. Conspiracy Kitchen and Conspiracy theories. I'm going to go throw up. We'll see you in a second. Hey, sorry to interrupt the show, but I'm so excited to talk to you guys about today's sponsor, which is Rocket Money. Now, don't go anywhere. Let me explain. Now, I don't know about you, but I have checked my subscriptions on my phone,

and I have been shocked at how many things I'm paying for a month that I totally forgot about. I'm talking random apps, patrons, just super random stuff that I'm like, I've been paying $10 a month for this for two years. And when you add up all that money, I mean, I can't do math. But, well, Luckily, Rocket Money is here to help you with not just that, but so much more. So as you know, Rocket Money is an all-in-one finance platform that helps you save more and spend less. It helps you manage your subscriptions, lower your bills, build a custom budget, and grow your savings all in one place. So as I was just talking about the subscription thing, so they have a feature where they can help you cancel your unwanted subscriptions. Also, one of my favorite things they do I've talked about this before is they help monitor your credit.

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slash grower to get started for free so check it out trust me this is something that'll help your life it'll help your finances it'll make you feel more secure when you're going into any financial situation and they're just really great company so check them out and hope you enjoy the rest of the show bye welcome back we have some conspiracy kitchen items ready I am hungry hot dog all right tonight on conspiracy corn so you're probably wondering why is there a hot dog and just crackers and crackers need a little something on them don't they well lucky for you I have something that you guys have been wanting us to get for a year, and it has been sold out everywhere,

and I finally found it. I hope this is veggie. I have whipped cream ranch. But don't worry if you're not a ranch lover. I got bloo. Wait, but what's on the hot dog? Imagine this guy putting this on his bottle. Is there something?

That's probably what he did put on his bone. Oh, okay, so, okay, I'll take the ranch. Jared, do you want ranch or blue cheese? Bluch, ranch, ranch, ranch. Can you tell me why we have cold hot dogs for these? And what does it look like there's like honey on them or something? Well, let me get to our first, this is exciting, our first conspiracy kitchen voicemail. Like a fire festival lunch.

Did you see fire festival too is now open? Yeah, man, look with the gamey. Is it? Okay, here we go. Nice. Hey, this is Kathy, and I have a nice. for your conspiracy kitchen. So you can't knock it until you try it, because I know that you try all the nastiest shit from TikTok,

but this isn't gross, I promise. Hershey's caramel syrup, like you do for ice cream. Put that on your hot dogs. It tastes like pancakes and sausage. Once again, it's Hershey's caramel syrup on a hot dog. Very good. Okay. It's like a pig in a blanket.

Okay. But not when it's freezing. Ugh. Not when it just came out of the freezer. Yeah. It's really cool. Yeah, damn. Okay, so let's take a bite of this.

Why? Why? Okay, here we go. Oh, no. These are from winter since, by the way. That is good as fuck. Oh my God, it's so good. It does taste like a pancake breakfast.

I like it, but it's weird. This tastes legit like a breakfast plate at Denny's. It's good. Oh my god, Kathy, Queen. my god Kathy queen that was delicious it's okay yeah you're I'm pretty into it all right well now let's try the real star of the show cream orange I dare someone to put this on their hot dog wow their bun is this all right let's spray it oh oh I thought it would be more like a cheese whiz okay hold

on let me pass this it's like a whip it's like a whip cream this is gross imagine they'll putting that on your tities Oh, should that how I beat blur my boobs? Chris, do you want ranch or blue cheese? Ranch, please. Okay. Yuck. I mean, I'll try them both.

Pass that's a good. Oh, it smells disgusting. Oh, my. I want to catch it because I am. Okay, we're dipping it in the. Okay, ready? Three, two, one. It's not as bad as you think, but it's gross.

It's not good. That don't make it better. They're coming off too strong. If they did a little less with the flavor. What? I just, why? There needed to be a petition to keep ranch to ranch. It almost tastes like powdered peanut butter that wasn't fully like properly mixed.

That's the grossest. How are you not throwing up? No, it tastes like packet ranch. Like if I could open a packet of powder and mix ranch. Just why? Wow, maybe I'm just hungry. I don't know. I don't think these things are the worst.

worst really they're not good but do you want the blue cheese oh yes that is where I draw you tried that I wouldn't even smell it I'll try it you'll try it yeah oh dude oh you're so crazy just psycho it's like a yuck challenge yeah yeah challenge wow you reacted bigger to that to then to the butt is equally gross the blue cheese has to be worse than the ranch right So much worse. So much worse. Historically speaking, it's more disgusting. Well, lucky for you, we're not done.

Oh, what? Well, since this is almost Halloween, and we're getting into the spooky spirit, we have talky zombies. They're probably going to taste the same. They just are like too flavorful. Now, I was so excited about these because I was like, oh my God, zombie green, fun, Halloween.

And then I looked at what the flavor was. It's a different flavor. Why can't they just make it the same flavor with a different color? It's cucumber. What? Cucumber's a grossest flavor in the whole world. Jared's already in it. Oh, cucumber and water. Cucumber ran. It always just jumps right in. Oh, wait. Thank you. Why is it open already? It smells good. Oh, because my problem with talkies is it's too much. Oh my God. You are such a vibe right now with your green. Everything green. Oh, my God. Okay. Green queen. Here we go. Green queen. To me, they just taste like tostitos, lime, salantro.

The cucumber is prominent. Yeah, it's cute, really? Okay, I'm scared. Well, at the very beginning, it doesn't end cucumber. It starts that way, though. It is cucumber. That is so weird that they flavored a chip cucumber. Yeah, it doesn't really work, I don't think.

Cucumber? Not the move. Oh, I hate it. I'm so sad. I was so excited. I can't say that I don't. I like it, but I mean, they wanted it to taste, like, what a zombie would taste like? I don't know.

I always, like, too much for my taste points. I love talkies, so I'm so disappointed. I don't like talkies. Oh, maybe you should pay a little of the ranch on it. Oh. I'm just curious. That might, like, tone it down in a weird way to compliment it. Oh.

Oh, man. That was the craziest sound ever. It's like a cartoon. You're fearless. That was like Scooby-Doo. It's somehow better. I understand. It's because they probably.

probably like tame each other down. Huh. Yeah, it's better with them together. Yuck. All right, well, that was disgusting. And thank you, Kathy, for giving us our new favorite treat. No other food? No, we're done.

Hey, sorry to interrupt the show, but I'm so excited to talk about our sponsor, Raycon. So right now, Raycon is celebrating their six-year anniversary, which is crazy. That's, like, first grade. That's a lot. What was six years ago? 2017. That was so many trends ago. People were saying on Fleek, that's how long Raycon has been around, guys.

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Um, okay. Here we go. Welcome back to Conspiracy Corner. Before we get into Conspiracy Corner, Jared, do you want to play rock paper, scissors, real quick? Yeah. Yeah, all right. Sorry, really quick. What color is that sweater?

I would say that it is like a beige. I like beige. Yeah. Okay, cool. Rock paper scissors shoot. Oh, fuck. Chris, you want to play rock scissors? Sure.

What colors your shirt? White with red. Oh, okay, cool. Let's play. Okay. Rock, paper, scissors. scissors shoot oh my god it happened okay of course what i beat you yeah gale do you want to play rock paper scissors real quick yeah lime green okay rock paper scissors shoot i win ha ha ha ha oh fuck it got a little predictable

towards the end true this was actually from sydney oh my god said hello sydney hello sydney said hey i want you guys to try this on the podcast i thought you would think it was cool It's a mind trick slash conspiracy. To do it, ask someone to play rock paper scissors with you. If they say yes, right before you're about to go, very casually ask them what color their shirt is. Wait for them to answer and then start. And they will 100% throw scissors and you throw a rock and you'll win every time. I almost never throw scissors.

Pretty quickly prove that to be wrong. But good one. But it worked with Chris. Yeah. Okay. So this is from Jessica. Now you're going to get very upset at me for this theory. Why?

Sorry, just making sure I don't have lipstick on my teeth. Is it about that fucking dress? No. And if it is, I have to take a potty break. Okay, okay. I want to save my marriage. This is from Jessica. She said, I apologize to Rhineland.

Please don't yell at me. I'm sensitive, she said. Oh, you know what you're asking for. I can fill it. Gaslight, Jessica. She said, I was mindlessly scrolling TikTok, as we all do. No. And a video came up on my for you page.

I immediately thought of you in Ryland. and that maybe this will help you keep from filing from divorce. Oh. Or it might speed up the process. Please do not reference this email in the divorce papers. So this is a video that I got sent a lot. I'm talking like 200 emails on this. Oh, I'm just going to look at my boobs.

So this is finally proof to finally end this. Are you ready? I'm going to be so cool. Huh? I'm not going to lie. I had to watch it like five times before to understand it. So she's just showing the different colors and the colors. Okay, so let's put those.

Okay. So what do you see on the screen right now? On the left. Oh my God. But this is different from the photos and the angles that we were judging. Okay. And I'll try. On the left, what do you see?

This is so different from what we've judged before. Okay. What do you see on the left? The black and blue. Blue. Okay. But the right side of the dress is like in a weird lighting, but you still see black and blue. Yes.

No. The left one. Oh, yes, but not the right. The right one's white and gold. Okay. So the right picture. Okay. But as you watch, right, as you see him or her cut out the black and gold and show you, so you don't see what I'm saying?

Well, it changes. To me, now it's white and gold. What? Now it's white and gold. I think we got bamboozled there. And then when he brings it to the other side, it's white and gold. Okay, but there's no question of what, like, we... What?

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Rayban meta-glasses. Iconic style meets meta-a-I. I mean, all the emails said my mind is blown. I only saw white and gold and now I see blue and black. Like, all the emails are saying that. Yeah, but I still don't see blue and black on the right. Yeah. So, like, even if you're telling me it was, that was never my base of the argument that

it like wasn't those colors it was in that angle it looked and appeared to be white and gold it doesn't matter what color it actually was it was what I visually saw yeah that we can't help what we see I actually still saw a little bit of the black and blue on the right side yeah because you see what you see right and and but the moment you it took the sample from the black and blue enlarged it already turned white and gold to me yes and then when it went to the right side it was and so like yes it's black and blue in that picture but then you enlarge it and it becomes white and gold. Because that's just what we see. Because that's what I see. Yeah. Um, okay, well, all of the people that emailed in and said that that was going to shake your guys's brains. I'm

sorry, it didn't work. It shook my brain just in a confusing manner. Shook my brain, gurus. I just can't get in a fight about it again. Didn't make anyone more frustrating. Now, what I will say is there is a new version of the black and gold dress. Once again, here we go. What? It says, I hate to make the new black and gold dress meme, but my friend has this jacket and she says it's white and blue and i see black and brown tell me what you see you know it would be so fun as if i agreed with you please god so i see blue and white are you ready now tell me what you see i see brown and black are green i see you see brown i see green and the logo's brown and then the rest of it's the logo's like uh or like gold i would say it's an aqua blue with uh white okay okay

Thank you. I don't see any white. Ryanlin, what do you see? It's like a sand-colored logo with a green-colored jacket. Yeah, like a brown or... Oh, my God. It's happening again.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. What color do you guys see? Are you fucking real right now? The logo is like brown or gold, and then the rest of the jacket is like green or black. What?

What? What? Black? It's... Right, Lynn, that's what you see. Right. Dude, the TV's black. What are you saying? Are you, you, okay.

Well, it could be like a greenish. Oh, my lord. Yeah, it's not black because the TV's like the board. No, it's blue. It's a fucking teal, like, light blue sweatshirt with white design. That's not what I see. Okay, let me, let me brighten it. I brightened it.

What do you see now? I brightened it. Brighter version of the same thing. It's like a forest screen. Yeah. Do you still see black? You see brown? Yeah.

No, it's like a. Sand. Yeah. I want to die. Like white sand? I thought this would be such an obvious thing. You guys might be colorblind. I'm not.

I honestly think they are. I think you have to be. And I'm not even trying to be nice. You're trying to start fights. I'm really not. Oh, my God. I think you're colorblind. What are you doing?

Oh, there she is. Okay, let's get off of that. Also leave us in the comments below. What do you see? Because they're wrong, right? how do you see brown how do you see white i feel like they're fucking you guys can't be trusted we're like two people that aren't related you guys are two of the same they take it very serious the problem is one you you see brown you see yes we have another opinion in the room

motherfucker i can fucking come right now do it i think it's because you guys are related as you have the same genetic your brain works the same way you don't think that it would be weird to have a Like, so what color is the sweater? It's either black or green. It's like a forest green, like a dark forest green. It looks more green than anything. Saying it's our genetics doesn't make sense. In what world would Adidas make a green and all the time?

By the way, it's trendy. I want to be clear, just like with the dress, I'm not saying I'm right. I'm just saying what I see. Amen. What's the difference? So do you honestly believe that like they're pretending or is it just their brains work differently? Oh yeah, I think they're pretending. You really think they're bad.

I feel like you guys are mimicking my inner thoughts right now. You actually think I'm lying right now. About you guys. Yeah. But you know I'm not. I know you are. This is why we fight about this. Because you can't understand that that's what I see.

I understand that you guys see brown. There's some black going on. There's some brown going on. There's some green. We'll feel real justified when the comments come rolling around. All right. Okay. This was crazy to me.

So this is from Nita. I have not heard of this. Have you heard of the Samsung Moon conspiracy? No. I don't know anything about it. Okay. So the Samsung phone, one of the things that they use to sell these phones is they're like, the picture is so clear on the camera that you can zoom into the moon and get a close-up image.

So this is a video of somebody using this feature. I've been trying to do that my whole life. I just want to quickly show you how great the zoom is on this S-22 Ultra. Okay, so zooming in. So we're going in 10 times, 30 times. This is handheld, by the way, 100 times. It's gonna lock on. Take that photograph.

Right? So pretty impressive. Yeah. Wow. I'm impressed. I don't think my phone could do that. Yeah. No, I'm always trying. Well, Samsung can, and that's what they were advertising. Then somebody tried it. Well, I'll just show you.

A few weeks ago, Samsung admitted that they fake pictures of the moon using AI. So someone decided to test it out to see if it was true. They found a picture of a regular white circle and placed it on the other side of their house. They then zoomed in as much as they could to trick the phone into thinking it was a picture of the moon. The phone camera then replaced that white circle with a picture of the moon. Ah. What? Fucking fraud!

Can you believe that? I respect it. They thought of doing that? Like any time someone zooms in on a white circle will put a minute. image on it? That's genius. No. I mean, it's obviously fraud.

And this makes me hate people that have green bubbles even more. And it's not even their fault. Samsung marketing is fucking these people that I already hate. I could see how that's, that is sketchy. So they got caught and they admitted it and they said, yeah, oopsies. Sorry. That is good. Yeah, that's good.

That's really good. Can you imagine being in that boardroom being like, this is it. This is how we're going to get people to buy the green bubble. Which did you know, we've already talked about this probably. but did you know that Samsung and like androids are more used than iPhones? Yeah, that is wild. I believe that.

Okay, we got an email from Jeanette and she said, I have a huge Wendy's update. She said, remember that theory that the chili is supposedly using yesterday's unsold hamburgers? Well, look what happened when I got my chili today and she took some pictures. Oh, no.

So as you can see in her chili, she has a huge, huge hamburger panning. Yeah, that's a... That doesn't bother me. It doesn't bother me. It's just crazy to me. Because I don't say it on the menu. On the menu, it should say using yesterday's unful burgers, right?

It should be the ingredients, right? Like, burger meat. Like, imagine if Taco Bell was like, oh, so this burrito is from yesterday's unsold crunch wrap. You can't say that about Taco Bell. It's always fresh. Is it definitely yesterday? For sure. From supposed employees who have emailed us and written on Reddit, it is yesterday.

But maybe it's not. We don't want to get through it. I don't think that's unsanitary. Like, I think the way that they, I think that's, I know it sounds gross, but I don't think it's like violating any food regulations. And I'm an expert. Listen, I'm sure it's still delicious. I'm just saying, crazy to see it.

I mean, I don't want to eat it. I'll never eat it again in my life. And I'm, yeah. Really? We were all just squealing over the weiner's all. Okay. I have a friend that works at, Wendy's, I should just ask them.

Yeah. Okay, so then I got an update about Fabriz. So this was an email that I got, and the title was Fabriz T. She said, do not use my name because I will get fired and thrown in prison. So this is an anonymous email, and she said, so I work at Procter and Gamble, which is the big corporation that owns like everything, right? She said, I decided to look up to see if we had any files about Fabriz to see what the spelling was. And I found this. So, as you guys know, we all think Fabriz has two E's in it, right?

Everybody thinks that. Yeah. Yes. And the actual Fabriz only has one E in it. While she looked up Fabriz on her Procter & Gamble website and look what she found, she found a bunch of stuff in the website and in their analytics and stuff that had the two E's. So even Procter and Gamble. So when did they change?

That's what I'm thinking. What? I don't know. We need to do some further investigative work. Put on your Gail hat. Because one E's Fabreze. You know what I? I mean?

I'll send this woman my wig and my mic, and you do the work. We needed a middle name for our baby. Hold on. Fabreze. That's crazy. So yeah. Fabrize and Fabresz. I knew it.

I know. I know I'm not crazy. I know. Okay, so a lot of people were emailing me about this, and I actually figured this out. So I'm going to show you something, and then I'm going to explain why this is happening. So there is a clip that's going viral right now, and it's a scene from Friends. Do you remember the episode where Phoebe was trying to seduce? Chandler and she was dancing for him and he was like oh no oh yeah okay so on the left is the

version of the scene that played you know back in the 90s and on the right is the version of the scene that's on HBO Max right now and as you can see they're different maybe I'll dance for you even Chandler looks a little different Okay, so did you notice all the weird little changes? How did they have access to the angles from that episode probably that was filmed 15 or 20 years ago? Okay. And also feels like one is delayed, so it's confusing. Like if it was timed better.

So, yes. So they are actually different. And everybody's like, it's a Mandela effect. Something changed. How is it different? What's going on? So what the truth actually is is that when HBO Max bought the rights to friends to put it on HBO Max. because the original was in that like

four by three frame and it was like shitty quality. So because HBO Max wanted the like high quality widescreen version of friends, what they had to do was they went to Warner Brothers and they got the old film that they shot it on and they had to re-edit the entire

10 seasons. So they would like watch the original and like try to find those clips and find, but sometimes some of them were destroyed or some of them were you know damaged or whatever so they had to find alternate takes. I have never respected HBO Max more. That's crazy for the quality of us. And now we can re-watch it and have like different takes of Jennifer Aniston. Well, yes, it's cool, but also it's, it pisses me off because

we're not watching what we used to watch when we were little, because it's different. Yeah, but aren't those versions still available everywhere else you can watch Friends on TV, TBS? They had to re-edit the whole show. That sounds crazy. Nuts. That's insane. Wow. So much work. So now I want to go back through and like find all the weird moments that are different now i wonder like any giving like episode or there scenes like that that are different probably every episode i would imagine right crazy wow they should market it like that it's all new friends well i have an update you guys are going to get very angry what more than the dress i have an update the owner of the jacket has responded of what jacket the adidas jacket has responded oh it is about the

the jacket. Oh, are they going to show us a different picture where it shows the actual colors? And don't say anything until I'm done. Okay. The official color of the Adidas jacket is baby blue and white. Yes. We knew it. And the owner said she was freaking out because so many of her favorite celebrities, including YouTuber Ricky Dillon. Hi. Ricky D. Singer Peter B. Miller noticed the jacket. And it went viral. So she's freaking out and she said it is actually baby blue and white okay we'll show us a picture she did no in that picture it was not baby blue and white i would like to see it like in full sunlight you know what actually for the next episode ooh i'm gonna have to search online to find it but i will buy it i will buy that jacket no i want to see the exact one from that girl in direct sunlight because what i saw

offer to buy it off of her okay yeah good idea and then yeah because you yeah you buying everything yeah You buying a baby blue jacket does nothing for me. Like, I don't know if that's the same one. Your nipples out. Good. I don't want to fight. Obviously, you do. But what color is this?

But I do have one more optical illusion. It's just one more. I'm so exhausted. Now, this one I think we'll agree on because it's a brain melter. Okay, can you tell what building is in the front of the photograph and which is in the background? Right away, I think the right. one is in front the brown is it brown to you on the right brown yeah okay yeah that one's in front that's what i see okay but then look at the one on the left and try to visualize that one in front

i mean i can kind of i can see both i can see both but i can see both but it uh i'm the more i look at it the more i'm leaning towards the left is in the front look at the left bottom like that bottom the three bottom rows of windows the only thing is on the one on the building on the right that's Brown, you can see the patio overhangs, and it looks like you couldn't see those. Zoom in. Here, I just texted you guys. Enhance. Or is it one?

Because Shane's pitching the one on the left, I think it's the one on the right. I see both. I think it's the one on the right. Is it one building? Two seconds ago, he thought it was a one on. Well, I know, but because you agreed with me, I was skeptical because I know you already know. Well, I'm trying to rationalize because you can see the patios on the one on the right.

Oh shit. When I'm looking up close, I am starting to think the one on the left. I know. It's freaking me out. All right. Do we know? Oh, damn. I'm going to You don't even have an answer? No. I'm really starting to choke in this thing. Okay, we'll wrap it up.

Let's get into Gels Recap. My camera action. Ryland's Recap is about to happen. Rylens recap. On today's episode of Gels Recap, The boys are dressed up as the cast of Scream. Matt LeBlanc's watching the show.

It's confirmed. Matt LeBlanc is maybe going to catch a glimpse of our show. Yes, we're thankful for it. We're thankful for it. Oh, we were on Nipple Watch, 2023, and we caught a lot. Nipple Watch, 2023. The Storm's big, and so are the tities. Are we going to have to edit a lot of the nip out?

All of it. All of it, yeah. Is it, is it going to be offensive if we have Chris say if a guy is too big or not? Oh. Oh. Is it okay? Please weigh in below. Can Chris rate which guys are too large for him to want to fuck? Oh, I-J-B-O-L. Gen Z-E-L-B-G-A-O-L, L-O-L. That's the new term for all the kids who laugh.

What? I don't know. It's too much. It's just too much. That was a word salad. Yeah. Um, is your husband gay? Oh, right.

Oh, um, what was the song like again? I already forgot. In 99.9% of cases in is my husband gay, the answer is yes. That is unless he just wants to be pegged. I mean, we had a real pioneer call in, the first girl to probably sell P over the internet. Oh, right. Right? I don't know if she's the first.

Well, she got to be back up there. It's not the last. Oh, that guy. This asshole. That guy showed is his asshole. In definitely problematic news, the YouTube's... Your nipples coming out again. YouTube's most disgusting monetized video, man nears himself on camera, and it's not considered porn.

It's just the way it was edited. It, like, jumped in there. It was, I wasn't prepared. I got to take the necklace off. I'm literally choking. How about, just take it all off? I can just take it all off. I don't know what's going on.

Are you okay? Oh, my gosh. Wow. It just feels hot. Doesn't it feel so good to just get home and take off your boot place? Hold on, it's really personal. You should mow the lawn like that. Show your asshole!

Do you have nair? Because then we can stay monetized. Zombie talkies! Wow. I mean the wicket-flavored talkies are the most disgusting thing you'll ever have. in your life, but in an ultimate TikTok food hack for me and asked. Everyone else seemed to hate it, but I did think the caramel sauce on a hot dog did taste like you were dining at Denny's.

That looks like somebody that would be walking with Jared in. You look like a British, like punk rock or something, you know. You guys look like you're in a band together. Yeah. I feel like I can breathe again. It looks like Iggy Pop or something. You guys are wrong about Adidas and it's proven. Oh my gosh.

And Shane's trying to do that. divorce me again we're fighting about another article of clothing and i just won't believe it even if i see that same article of clothing and it's baby blue and sunlight i'll be like fine but in the picture it was photographed in it was not you okay what's happening i'm sorry whoa you look like a method actor that's playing a character i like it you're scary i gotta go okay oh you want to wrap it up yeah thank you guys so much for watching today's episode of the podcast uh make sure you subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, wherever you get your audio. Audio only.

Oh, my God. We've launched our own audio-only version of a podcast so far. It's Fights with Shane and Riland, soon to be expanding into the universe that is the Shane Dawson podcast. Hello. You can check it out inside of the audio feeds. Make sure you're watching the Shane Dawson podcast on YouTube because that's where you get all the visuals, all the tits, all the glory.

And we'll see you right back here in two weeks on the Shane Dawson podcast after you follow all of us on social media and shop all of the Shane Dawson podcast merch at shandossommerch.com. All right, Bill, you kill her and her. Just throw the knife. Make it fast. Well, good job, Gail.

That was incredible. We love you. Thank you. And yeah, we'll see you guys next time from whatever the hell this was. We're all going to go die. What? See guys like that.

Bye. You know,