The Shintaro Higashi Show - Mental Side of Judo

Episode Date: July 20, 2021

Judo is not just a physical activity, and it is important to have the right mentality when practicing Judo in order to improve. In this episode, Shintaro discusses the mental side of Judo with Peter-- confidence, trust, humbleness and other qualities. Please support us on Patreon if you can: https://www.patreon.com/shintaro_higashi_show. Any amount helps!

Hey everyone, welcome back to the Shintaro Higashi Show with P2U. Today we're going to talk about the mental side of Judo, something you don't really see. The physical side, everybody sees. You've got a great set of abs that are sticking to your gi, like people are going to see that. You have a great uchimata, people are going to see that. But there's this underlying mentality, right, that is not very visible. So that's what we want to talk a little bit about today. One of the listeners kind of suggested this and, you know, we're going to take it away right so we've we've talked a lot about the physical side of judo you know the

techniques and the strategies and then the training and the diet and whatnot so yeah but we're gonna see yeah how judo you know affect benefits you mentally and then what kind of mentality is required to be good at judo in a way yeah so personally i think the biggest benefit i got mentally speaking uh from judo is confidence confidence so yeah so because you know i think the physical training aspect like the fact that i can like defend myself in a way yeah uh gave me a lot of confidence in day-to-day life so anything what do you think about that aspect the confidence boost side well you know so this is the thing like when you go into a dojo right and then you are learning how to break fall for the first time the person who's listening has already done judo is gonna be like yeah it's not a big deal but if you sit on your couch and you have back issues and you're kind of out of shape or

whatever it is and then you're about to take a big break fall and you're trusting this person you don't know how hard this person's gonna throw you all you see are these youtube highlights right so you have to like trust this person and all these little flags are going off like this kind's kind of a dick i don't really trust them you know this guy seems really nice maybe i trust them this guy's big therefore he may hurt me you know which is kind of like a flawed reasoning thing but i mean people have that kind of a thing right right and then okay so i don't know i got paired up with this person and this person wants to throw me he showed me a breakfall now we have to do in the crash mat oh it's so scary it's so scary right so now it's like overcoming that fear right because if you can't overcome that fear and then you resist

right you could potentially get hurt right you try to step out of it now you're not being a good partner and you could twist your knee land on your shoulder right i think that you have to overcome that fear right first and foremost and you have to trust them so like that's like some of the mental side and once you're capable of doing that, then you start building confidence. Because it's like, oh, I could take a fall. And that's step one of like, oh, man, I could get taken down on this crash mat in a cooperative setting. I could get back up, and I'm good. And then you start trusting yourself to say, okay, I trust this person.

I trust that person. Now you're building confidence in your ability to select the people who are going to keep you safe right right so it's like that's the first step right so in the so it's almost like the physical side of things are it's like a virtual cycle where the physical side of things you know being outside of your physical comfort zone pushes you to you know face your fear and then by overcoming and you become more confident and then you to you know face your fear and then by overcoming and you become more confident and then you yeah you know yeah become more ingrained into the community like trust uh start trusting more people just more people now you're going live right and then you're like okay these techniques you know a lot of martial arts like these techniques work these

techniques work try it try it try it and you're doing it all on a cooperative side you never get to try it on someone that's actually actively resisting right right so now all of a sudden you're trying it on someone that's actively resisting right judo for six months you're there for six months now you're a yellow belt or a white belt with whatever stripe or whatever system you're in and now somebody brand new comes along and that person's big that person's strong that person's scary but you could take that person down or you could choke that person now that builds a little bit more confidence right because before six months ago you would have saw that person said i can't beat that guy right again you know right so that's like uh you know for a lot for a lot of people who started as an adult you know you could kind of see the

progression right there and definitely there even kids yeah so like i was gonna ask like personally speaking for your from your experience but because you've done judo all your life so did you see that happening because like your life was so like in you know judo was such a big part of your life the whole time yeah definitely you see that transition a lot of confidence through judo right if i didn't have judo i mean what else would i've done you know what i have tried to gain the same type of confidence you know if i was a golfer or something it's like yeah i could hit the golf ball and like walk around a strut but it's about value systems too you know some people need to feel like oh man i'm in control like i can defend myself

some people need that and i know people who don't care about that at all. Right. Right. Not at all. Like they're like, ah, I'm happy, you know, my software engineering job and I'm in shape and I've never lifted a weight in my life. I'm physically weak. I don't care. And I know people like that too. Right. Right. You know, and I have my opinions about that. It's like, why? You should work out, you know uh and i have my opinions about that it's like why you should work out you know you should always work out i'm a big fan of this and you know it's good for your you know mindset and you know mental health but anyway that's completely besides the point uh yeah i definitely felt little by little more and more confident and then you know when you're growing up and you're in middle school and then you know you have an encounter i remember like this kid punted the ball and the

ball like nailed my friend in the face and they got exchanging words and then my friend got scared and then i don't know i there was no need for me to get involved but i got involved and i right uh you know defend your friend yeah and then he shoved me and then he tried to tackle me and then i put him in a fun headlock need him and then like dumped him oh you know and then i was a hero for a day right right and i'm not advocating for that but like that made me feel like oh oh i i have a skill that can be useful in the real world and i made that connection for the first time when i was like 11 12 because judo was something i did that like my school like none of my friends did because my dojo was in manhattan in the city and

then my school was in westchester in the suburbs like right away so none of my school friends went to judo right right something i did and then it was always like oh shintaro does judo shintaro judo and that was like my first actual application and like confidence boost it was a big confidence boost and then it's like now all of a sudden i'm wrestling and then you know you go to a party or something and someone tries to put you in a headlock and then you pick them up and put them down. And now all of a sudden you're like, okay, I'm not scared of physical confrontation. Of course, a lot of it is false confidence because I could have easily gotten hit in the face with a lucky punch or whatever it was. whatever it was but the ability to feel like i could walk into a party and no one can kick my ass here you know which is completely not true right because you you're drinking and there's a lot of people and three people and you know you get hit in the back of that it's completely untrue

right right but just the fact that like at that age i didn't know any better and i was like yeah no one could take me down yeah you walk into a room and it's just like it feels good you know so like that feeds on itself it's like a feedback loop right now all of a sudden everyone's like okay all right this guy you know uh whatever you know what i mean yeah i think it's not about like oh you you you know how to defend yourself and you're gonna go around and start fights everywhere with everyone it's not it's not even that it's more like because you know how to you're confident that you can defend yourself in in those physical altercations you are more you become more calm in a way like you're like you're more relaxed yeah you're not on the edge you know yeah we enjoy the moment better i think that's true that's one aspect about

being confident through judo yeah yeah and then you know little by little right you start making these like risk calculuses in your head the more you get the more you do judo the more you're aware of what people are physically capable of right and you have no clue by looking at someone how good they are at whatever they do you just don't know so now all of a sudden you develop sort of this humbleness this respect like you know this So now all of a sudden, you develop sort of this humbleness, this respect, like, you know, this guy's kind of talking shit, you know, whatever it is, just let it go because, you know, and then you're going to be okay with it. It's not worth it, yeah.

Yeah, so that like kind of definitely helps, right, add to sort of the confidence. Yeah. Right? And then, you know, also like when you're doing judo, the best part about it is like you're kind of going live every day like you're actually doing full throttle full resistance right your will versus their will like it's a full throttle sport right so once you're doing that on a daily basis like you don't shy

away from that at all right yeah and then now all of a sudden you're doing something that most people don't do right so now So now you're like, okay. Now you build confidence through that. It's like not everyone can do this. Right. Even though sometimes I say everyone can do this. It's like sprinting, right? It's like when you're older, you don't sprint anymore.

When was the last time you ran as fast as you possibly can until you just couldn't run anymore? Kids do it every day. Yeah, I don't even remember now. Yeah. You just got to do it. I it should do that more now when you do something like that right and then now all of a sudden you're like okay someone's trying to mug you and you know they're chasing you down the street can i outrun that person in a sprint probably can if you've been doing it yeah yeah i mean i i do it but i can't run that long anyway

but still like you just kind of know where you are right right and then you know overcoming that initial lung burn pushing through those limits and right all those things translates over to like you know what i am doing the best i can in this body i'm developing the skill i'm working really hard and not i'm better than everybody but like you do develop a a certain confidence i think right yeah it's almost like we talked about this like the level of knowledge um you know like what is it the first is like you don't even know what you don't know yeah you don't know what you don't know that's like one of my biggest things i always try to repeat myself and then as you go through this journey if as you find out more about your physical limits

and then pushing through it you know you're more aware about your limits and then what you can do to improve upon and then you know and then uh that that builds your confidence and then now you kind of talked about overcoming adversities like you know judo training can be uh you know very gruesome like very tough um it's like you said it's very different from others other popular sports in a way yeah grappling yeah that's the most obvious example yeah here's another one um when you're doing judo randori all the time right you should develop certain habits uh this technique is very high you know success rate for me i'm a big strong person from you know i'm not that big but it's like you know i'm 210 210 pounds right uh you know not very tall but 210 pounds so i'm heavier

than majority of the people in the room right you put put me on a distribution curve, I'm sort of at the top end. Considering like average weight is X pounds or whatever it is. So now all of a sudden, there's things that's going to work for me a little bit better than the average human body. Or the things that I kind of force through using my physical attributes that kind of like can overcompensate for lack of sort of technique or timing or whatever it is right so now all of a sudden i have that and let's just say that's osotogari let's just say i was a lot taller too right let's just say i go over the back i can stick my leg out and throw osotogari now that's a high success rate for me right if i go back to the room every day and just do that because i know it works just do

that because i know it works and throwing everyone throwing everyone throwing them i might really get better you know really you're not really going outside of a comfort zone i'm just waiting for people to get better at defending that so i can get a little tiny bit better defend that a little time even better so now i'm like looking at like little micro judgments that's good but like i need a complimentary throw maybe society right maybe i go inside outside something like this snap down a saw i gotta work all the different uh sort of entries right if i'm big enough to just stick a leg out hook it and go i don't have to work on any of those entries right right right so i'm like sort of creating a barrier for myself mentally. You know what I mean?

That's a mentality. Because as opposed to being introspective and saying, hey, I need to work on these things. Why is this technique working for me? Why do I keep relying on this technique? You just go back, keep doing it. You're throwing people and you're like, I won, I won, I won. Right? That's another type of mentality that inhibits growth. It's inhibiting your growth.

Right? right? That's another type of mentality that inhibits growth. It's inhibiting your growth, right? So you have to kind of take a step back, look at it yourself and saying, okay, what, why is this working? What is working? How's it working? How can I make it better? Right? And that's another sort of type of mentality that's very, very important. People who do this get better faster. People who don't do this and rely on one thing, you see those one trick ponies, right? In the dojo that guy does drop senagi he throws a lot of people with it but that's all he does that's all he's got that's all he does can you defend it yes okay he'll never throw you ever again can you defend it no he'll always forever throw you forever and ever how was that dude a little bit i got called

out just now yeah i wasn't even referring to you yeah but you know i think that's so true the introspection and then kind of going outside of the comfort zone try to get broaden your yeah that that's a yeah that's you need to switch on that mental switch because uh um when i first came to kbi i was just i was kind of like that the one trick pony like i just i could i was young and fast i could just drop on it a lot of people and i kept doing it but then you know there were big flaws into this in that strategy um and you kind of i guess this is why you need a good sensei you know shintaro really helped me step out of it. And I'm more of a very, I have a variety of, you know, techniques that I use now.

And then that actually adds to the, you know, the confidence because I overcame that mental block. And yeah. Because dropping and flopping is safe, man. Every time you get out gripped you drop to your knees and go for a turn throw and oh shoot i missed now i'm in the waza now they're choking me now they're not going to throw me anymore right that feels safe you know and it becomes a crutch every time i get out gripped and i go out of bounds and sometimes i still do this you know terrazzo's six four he comes over my back and just grabs me starts yanking on my head kicking me in

the shit i'm like yeah you know i'm just gonna step out of that you know and like that's a that's a mental that's a psychological thing you know that's like uh protecting myself you know that's self preservation right there right in every single way so it's like you rely on that too much now all of a sudden your judo takes shape and that is formed by the mental side of things has nothing to do with you being able to do osoto or ipang sanagi or lift mental side of things has nothing to do with you being able to do osoto or ipang sanagi or lifting heavy weights there's nothing to do with any of that there's a great book called trading in the zone by mark douglas uh it's a trading in the zone by mark yeah douglas yeah it's like not even uh it has nothing to do with martial arts it's about

trading stocks and stuff like that and then executing things like on a in a cold way not a cold way but like in a very methodical way right keeping emotions out of it and he doesn't even talk about like technical analysis or any of that stuff for fundamental he talks about the psychology of trading and a lot of it is that in judo too right and if you're let's just say for instance like uh if you're a uchimata guy and you're scared to get countered now all of a sudden you're kind of not going for it for throttle right right? I don't know. There's always the thing like, I'm not so confident. I don't know.

This guy might take me on my head. So psychologically, you've already sort of beaten yourself. It has nothing to do with their ability to be able to execute the technique because you've already done this a million times. You've done the throws. You've done the Nagakomi. Physically, you're capable. Yeah.

Yeah, you're capable of doing it. You make the shapes of it when you're doing Uchikomi and Nagakomi. Right. You just yeah you're capable of doing you make the shapes of it when you're doing uchikomi and nagakomi right you just can't throw anybody with it right and then a lot of people have this question why doesn't this throw work for me in randori am i not pulling enough am i not doing this am i not doing that it's like no man you're scared and you can't say they're scared because then you know some people can handle that kind of criticism right it's like what do you mean i'm scared i never get i feel no one and people get like that right but it's you know we all have fears that's natural fear is like present in every single human if you don't have any fear you're really dumb and you're gonna run

into traffic you know like that's what we're designed to fear things that can potentially harm us right right so hesitating and then like oh maybe i might get countered those things can really slow your judo down so you have to be aware of these things so you could overcome these things right right and so that's a um that's a good point that you brought out about also like taking criticism that's another mental aspect of judo um you said some people can't yeah just are uh are not as good at taking criticism as others and constructive criticism you know sometimes criticism is negative criticism right you know and sometimes it's misplaced you know it's easy for someone to armchair quarterback and say like yeah pulling enough you're not pulling it off and you know it's like does this person really care about my skill and

care about me and is this person able to watch my judo and really give me good feedback or is the guy just trying to make himself feel good and try to put himself in a hierarchical position like oh, oh, yeah, I know how to do this. You just stop pulling it off. That guy is the worst. Right. But taking criticism from him is different from taking criticism from someone who truly cares about you and has your best interest and really wants you and has the proper eye and skill.

That's why that drives me crazy when white belts teach and all the white belt stuff and coaching other white belts. Osoro, enough why why don't you put you gotta pull the sleeve man and then pull them aside it's like stop that shit right it's more about it so it's both ways really it's like you gotta be able to take criticism well and you gotta be able to also give constructive criticism well too yeah like at appropriate times to the right people absolutely so even if i see something in the room and i'm like ah this person could benefit from this sort of feedback sometimes i won't give it because that person is not ready to hear it doesn't want to want it can't take it or can't do anything with that

information sometimes more detrimental. Dude, your stance is negative, right? Your hips are so far back. You're attacking from too far away because you're scared. You know? Like, people don't want to hear that. Right, right. Nobody wants to hear that.

I didn't want to hear that. That's how sort of my father approached me. You lost because you're weak. Oh, you're fighting like you're scared out there. You know? And I hated it so much it kind of had the you know it was like the negative reinforcement it works negative reinforcement works right the best thing sometimes it breaks athletes but for me like it fueled this fire like oh mother you know right so yeah negative reinforcement works to a certain level right right like it's not the best thing we all know negative reinforcement works to a certain level. Right. Right. It's not the best thing. We all know this. But like to a certain extent, like some people respond to it pretty fairly well. Right. I know people who seek it out like, hey, man, give me give me the truth. Give me the honesty. Like, just tell me I suck at this or that or what I need to work on. And, you know, people couldn't like listen to it and take it, you know.

so for me like i i received negative reinforcement but you know work to a certain extent but it doesn't help you grow past a certain level right so right you know that's my two cents on that right so it's like um so it's it's going criticism going both ways and then now i think you kind of we can uh that's a good segue into this community aspect of it it's like you know we talked a lot about you know individuals mentality in judo but now you know with criticism and whatnot there's a communal aspect of in the mentality of judo like respecting each other and whatnot yes absolutely man so you know whenever you're talking about eastern versus western you talk about collectivist versus individual right right individualist and you know there's that famous picture right like it has three fish over here and one fish in the front right and then you ask a chinese person right all those three fish are chasing that one fish and then

you ask an american person they say oh that fish in the front is leading the three fish in the back right it's very it's a perspective thing it really is you know and in japan it's a very very collectivist culture right it's like if you have a cold you wear a mask like no questions right you know what i mean in the united states like it's not about like oh i'm gonna try to do my best for the corporations like no i'm getting ahead i need that c-level suite i need to get to this level of work i need to i need to win right it's about me me me and that's okay there's nothing wrong with that you know there's nothing wrong with that you have to think about you and you gotta balance it out it's about benefits yeah but just culturally speaking asian culture tend to be much more collectivist in nature right right in the dojo i think that's very very important

of course you have to want to win and you know you're actually the only champion really right if you win new york's new jersey states like you did in 2014 you're the guy that won it i'm not on the podium with you no one else is on the podium with you you're on the podium right peter right right right you like i threw your bone there i know yeah thanks man yeah yeah i remember that you know but this is the thing it's like if you have a room full of people who are just selfish i want to get better i want to win i'm here to train now all of a sudden they have zero care about the benefit or the well-being of their training partners now all of a sudden they start hurting them if the only reason why they're trying to help others or doing is selfish in nature

now you kind of have a toxic environment on on hand right right and that's not the best environment to learn so having like a room full of people who are collectively like let's make each other better let's make each other stronger right and then you trust that the person that you're doing judo against has that intent for you. And then this person has that intent for me. That person has an intent for me. Now, all of a sudden, anybody I work with is trying to make me better. Right.

And it's safe. And I could try things. And if I go for something, if I get countered, people aren't pointing their fingers like, ha, ha, ha. And then you don't have the guy running over like, you didn't pull the sleeve enough. Right. Like, that's's toxic environment right so this mass psychology really really is important in this field as well right and when you're doing judo and that's something that you see and you don't see you know somebody walks into a dojo they feel that vibe right but a lot of times they're looking at like what technique what is the sense they show what is this guy right like yeah how's this guy doing his thing and can i beat that guy you know people are so wrapped up in that focus that's what you should be really looking at

right the collectivist psychology of the room is a very learning oriented growth mindset like a world community that i kind of want to send my kids into that world or is it like a cutthroat everyone all men you know by themselves like kill the carrier sort of a field right so it's because even if yeah like if even if even when a champion goes on the podium you have to remind that of course the champion has done the work and then he or she was trying to be better but at the same time there was a team behind the whole village so to speak yeah that's man i can't even stress that enough like it takes so much to send an athlete to the championships right right you know it's not just about training either

right yeah it's about training man and it is a little bit about training but it's like you know it's my training partners i need good training partners i need every randori and every randori that i do i need another human being to do it right right and then when you have it should be me it's got to be right you know it's okay some people are wired that way right that's fine i'm not saying don't do that you know there was a long time in my life where i was like that. It's just me, me, me. But I think as a coach, you kind of have to sort of shift your mindset a little bit and understand some of these things and then adapt.

Now I know a little bit better. He's a wise man now, Shintaro. Maybe. man now shintaro uh you know maybe so then all of these things all of these things uh you know the confidence the the grit that opt by uh overcoming adversities and you know this taking giving and taking criticism well and then this uh you know team oriented mindset all of these things can be transferred into your day-to-day life can be man yeah and you could train this you could train every single one of these skills if you do it mindfully and under a good guidance you could train every single one of these skills there's a girl right now in the dojo who's too shy she always gets left out like not left out

but like if there's an odd number of people in the room, she stands back at the corner. No one wants to work out with her. She's brand new. No one wants to teach her a sort of. They want to learn, do their Taiyo, do their Sode, do this, do that. Even the white belts want to work with the higher belts, and then some people are aggressive about it. Hey, Johnny, can you work out with me? She's standing on the sideline.

Hey, listen, lady, you've got to go out there and get your partner you got to be proactive right take the initiative you know you're new in the room you know i understand like you shy but go out there and you know say hi hi my name is you know sally that's a fake name tell me like uh can you work out with me and then you know sometimes people need the crutch of like for me to say hey adam can you work out with sally right right and i'm so nice he's probably the same yeah yeah of course and then you know he doesn't have to stick with that person right right because i always form these partnerships in three four minute chops always because i don't want anyone to feel stuck with somebody or like oh i'm stuck training right

but adam works with this woman and then stays with that woman for the rest of the class until the ron dory class of course right right so he's a great dude to have in the room but like not just for that reason but he's a great room period guy period but like that woman can gain a lot out of that right taking the initiative asking for something right and sometimes you see things like uh and you have to be clear and concise with your communication right right sometimes somebody wants to work out with you you feel like that person isn't safe no thanks right i already have a partner i'm sorry all all that's such a good example because it kind of pulls in everything the confidence uh that she needs to work on herself but at the same time a sensei has to give her

the right criticism like constructive like encouragement and criticism yeah i wouldn't even say criticism on that yeah it's like encouragement and then the room the whole community has to be supportive yep for her to grow for a safe place to grow so that she can you know work on that mental yeah muscle and then she has to be introspective enough to recognize it and then try to step out of the comfort zone so all of these things another example you know how we do the forward rolls down the middle yeah yeah we do them in rank order so the black belts are flying boom right boom boom flying flying flying right get the white belts and someone new and they're like oh i've never done this before like what i do and then they're doing this thing and everyone's watching

and they feel a little bit you know right funny and that's a great time to see like what their profile is like the psychological profile is like and then you could base the type of feedback you give based on that right right sometimes i'll say something like you've heard me say this like don't worry no one's watching but everyone is watching yeah so it's funny joke too yeah yeah and then if they laughed they're like ha ha ha okay clearly that's not a joke directed at to to make fun of that person right right but it's like ah it's just funny everyone no one's watching right and then they do the role now they laughed it off, and now they built something there mentally.

Oh, I didn't want to get in front and do this roll in front of everyone. I did it. Since I made a funny joke, everyone laughed, and then they weren't laughing at me. But if there's a person who's very sensitive, that kind of thing, right? Are they laughing at me? I would make that joke. Right, right.

I'd be like, you're doing great. You're doing great. Just do one more, and you're good. Right? And then they're like, ah, I know i don't know just give me one do it from your knees go ahead oh perfect and then sometimes they need the help i run over you know i grab the collar and they're like roll roll go yeah go okay you know because fluency is a lot more important than that person right some people just need to hear like oh you're you're better than most people who begin you're better than most beginners hey dude i'm pretty good right for a guy who's only done it

for four times it's like yeah you are yeah get over yeah get over that you know thing that you hold that you he's holding on to that thing right right right right right and i've always kind of held on to some of that too anytime i tried a new sport i'm like i'm pretty good right for like athletic guy i should be pretty good at this right i mean you're good at judo you're good at everything you know and i had a sense of pride there and that kind of stuff inhibits growth too right and it all contributes to the emotional intelligence right right of the individual and judo progressively builds that if it's the right community through that break fall through that that forward roll situation, right? Through like proactively asking someone, through refusing rounds and saying, no, I already

have someone. Oh, my knee hurts already. My knee hurts. I'm not really going with anyone that's bigger than me, you know, doing it in a way, right? And understanding like there is a natural hierarchy with the belt system. Right, right. I saw a white belt ask a brown belt, hey, you want to work out with me? And Luca was just

like no oh my god look i go with george next and i'm just like that you know like you gotta you know and i didn't say anything because it's like it's luca too i have a soft spot for yeah he's like has a you know that all the dude was uh you know he's just like uh he's not gonna get hurt right right but like that's like a type of interaction uh that could little by little like it like you know it plants that seed you know what i mean it's like the cut yeah like that you gotta try to slip that out like uh before it happens two or three times more like i might have to be like look at this in there when you're refusing rounds i know you're here to train and all this stuff but you gotta hey next round hey i already have someone next hey maybe

in like a couple more yeah you know there's a way to say you know there's a way yeah yeah and judo's great for this because if you're out of good school everything is quick and concise everything's on a pace it's like sort of this right organized chaos is boom boom one thing after another and you need to be able to quickly and concisely relay these messages in a way that's not gonna right yeah and a good judo dojo could be a like a practice ground almost like you know how you do you know uh uchikomis before you go into the randori because you want to build practice all these moves and a safe space before going into the chaos and then you do a lot of randori before you go into

competitions in the same way that you can you know practice all these uh mental muscles and build up your mental muscles in a safe space like a good judo dojo and you can apply to the real world yeah and then when in the real life do you ever collaborate with someone or have a conflict with someone arm's length face to face when do you ever do that that's a very uncomfortable thing right all right you grab the lapel and you grab the sleeve i do the same thing right first right you could be right verse left but hey you know like we're right here you can smell my breath you know what i mean like like quite literally when you go so to gary you're gonna put your head right here and you know maybe

you've never you know you're not a touchy person maybe you've never been hugged as a kid i don't even know right but we're gonna be right here face to face we're gonna work on this thing together right and then you can immediately feel like the tension in their body you know whether they want to do it whether they don't want to do it, whether if I'm showing something, they're already resisting. Right. Or they're just completely loose and limp. Like you just feel a lot of these things because it's so personal. Right, right.

Right. Like you're at this distance where it's just like, when are you ever in that distance? Right. And when do you ever get that feeling? You don't even do that with your wife these days, you know and then that like face to face for the first time i mean i'm not saying i'm not trying to make it you know right like when do you face each other like this right then it's very rare we're gonna work on something together me and you right right here right it's you know even me it's like always like yeah yeah you know like we're sitting next to each other phone you know phones, it's always like, yeah, yeah, we're sitting next to each other, phone.

Phones, yeah. It's too easy to do that. In a way, it makes things easier even in real life because you're going through this weird exercise that's called judo. Yeah, and it's still kind of like, you know, sometimes it's, you know, I have my certain psychological things that i gotta push through and work on too you know what i mean it's like preventing myself from getting sensei syndrome is a big one yeah you told me about that a little yeah what is the sensei syndrome no it's just like when you get gassed up and you become like oh like you know the stopping grounds but then it's just like the aberration is a little bit different, right,

when you're a sensei. Right, right. And people make what it is of it. And some people treat, you know, their sensei like a service thing. I paid for your service. Right, right. You know, of course, I nip that kind of, you know, thing right away. But like when you're talking to someone and you're teaching them

and they're absolutely interested in what you're saying and they want your skill and they admire you and they're like wow you know like right right it's amazing anything you say is so cool like oh you're the best you're so strong you're like oh and then like you get too many of those you can really get to your head right right you know and you start like some people venerate even like almost venerate their teachers the sense yeah yeah yeah so like that's like a sort of a thing and then you know it's easy to i like this term armchair quarterback you know i'm right back and you're like you know you know you gotta nip that in the bud and yeah you're the guy that has all the answers in the

room all of a sudden you could fool yourself into thinking you know everything right even though i frequently say i do know everything well how do you how are you working on that like what what are you working on it just like aware of it just awareness and being mindful of it is important yeah i think that's uh that's actually you know half the battle really more than that because you could kind of like little by little get taken on this path and Yeah, I think that's actually half the battle, really. More than half the battle. It really is half the battle. Because you can kind of like, little by little, get taken on this path. And before you know it, I have knockout powers without touching anybody. I have no touch knockout powers. And you have a group of people in the room that's willing to take falls for you.

And you're like, all right. And you end up on youtube because you challenge the mma guy i'm telling you man i've known guys in the room like uh that i like sort of been training with and my dad would be like let me show you guys this throw right my dad would put their hand on the guy like oh and my dad's like what are you freaking doing he's like i just felt my energy leave my body my dad's like that's not a thing man stop doing that like can you imagine like year after year after year you're like in a basement teaching martial art to like 50 dedicated students and they're all doing that like i can see how these guys can all of a sudden be like right you have magical powers in my hand. Right. Every time I grab this person's wrist, he goes limp.

Ah, gosh. Yeah. So it's like, you know, psychology, all that stuff. It's kind of related to like staying, it's kind of related to staying humble all the time. Like there's always more to learn

even if you're a sensei with a dojo with a lot of students. Yeah. I think that's one you know i i could say one thing you're doing right now in order to combat that kind of sensei syndrome that you speak of is uh you have your own sensei you like you train with brian click i have a lot of sensei man yeah my sensei too exactly i don't i don't listen to him but yeah exactly so you have a lot of blocks too man i i can't uh it's hard for me to hard for me to learn from my phone it's your old pops you know you're doing tile like this like that i don't know about that right yeah you gotta lift heavier weights yeah i don't know about that. Right. You got to lift heavier weights.

I don't know. You have to watch film. You just got your ass kicked. You got to watch film. I'm not watching that. I don't want to watch that. Mental block right there. Mental block.

But yeah, I do have my own sensei, Brian. He's been teaching me stuff, jiu-jitsu stuff. And then I'm trying to as uh spongy as possible you know right open to all really trying to ask the right questions right i think that's uh you know talking about sensei we already had a uh a episode about that but the mentality is that you know you could learn from anyone like everyone could be your sensei like even if a white belt that walks into your dojo could be very like a so to speak a black belt in some other areas like finance or something or computer yeah yeah you know and he said something too that really reminded me of something that you know i don't really like something i

already knew but like something that i you know i needed that reminder you know, I don't really like something that I already knew, but like something that I, you know, I needed that reminder, you know, and, uh, I've been kind of working on like this body lock passing situation. Right. And it's like floating past body lock, floating past body lock, like kind of going back and forth. And, you know, I've been trying to like adapt it to my frame and things like this, but it's like, I'm kind of having not a hard time, but like, I can't, you know, do it consistently on good people right and i was like talking about it i was like yeah man these are the resistance i get sometimes whatever and then he's like you got to understand like you know when you try a new thing like your entire game kind of drops down too because you're trying to funnel everything to try those things like normally you do all these other things and

now you're not doing those things right i i can do all these other things and now you're not doing those things right i i can do all these other things but now i'm not doing those things you just kind of try to focus here and that skill hasn't really been fine yet so you're going to open yourself up to certain counters and certain things it's just like judo right yeah you're working on tomonage you're gonna look dumb because you're just gonna keep dropping to your back and it's not gonna work right i know guys that have been working on tomonage for eight years and frustrated people for eight years now they're throwing them took them a long time right and then i kind of needed that reminder like oh yeah yeah you know yeah that's right that's right you know the whole game has to kind of come down because now i'm trying to build my game around

that and then develop that piece of the puzzle. Right. Right. And I needed that reminder because I was kind of like getting down to myself like, man, Georgie's, you know, leg locked me the other day. Oh, he leg locked you. He leg locked me. Yeah. I mean, I had nothing to do with the past that I was working at, but I found myself trying to get into this one position to like force this one thing. And then like that led position to like force this one thing and then like that led me to like make mistakes and then that mistake led to me scrambling trying to out of something

and then he got me in like walking i was like yeah that level of introspection is yeah yeah he'll hook me wearing gi pants and then you're not supposed to heel hook when you're wearing gi pants you know right that's not allowed in judo it's kind of like doing a little you know like uh but yeah it's one of those things you know right yeah i think it's that's a good point because i'm also like i you know since i moved to michigan i've been like dojo hopping and i went to a bjj gym very good but i realized that you know how like the whole like you said i sensed that my whole game was kind of coming down because i'm trying to work on my nevaza more at a bjj school and it's it's i i was getting a little discouraged but then you know i try to like keep telling myself no like you're trying yeah to build up a different sport and then different aspects

and you know so i i gotta keep telling myself this is kind of introspection and resiliency yeah that's another thing yeah don't get frustrated get fascinated that's what martin rooney used to always say that to me martin rooney used to always say that to me martin rooney was my like strength and conditioning coach for years he was a mentor of mine you know he had me training in his gym from like you know my formative years of like late teens and early 20s and he used to always say that don't get frustrated i think that's a great saying don't get frustrated be fascinated yeah and every time i get started getting frustrated i'm like man why am I getting frustrated?

Like I should be interested in this and then write it. And I would look for what makes it fascinating. Right. Yeah. Right. I think, I think that's a, that's a good way to end this episode.

You know, that saying, you know, take emotion out of the trade. Yeah. Don't get frustrated be fascinated yep yeah that's the mentality of judo i guess psychology of judo could have probably talked a lot more about you know the competitive side of stuff because everyone talks

about that right my will versus your will breaking the opponent and that has a very wrestling heavy feel to it but i think we did a good job. Yeah. Cool. All right. Anything else before we end? Nope. Thank you guys.

Everybody reaching out and giving suggestions. I think this podcast is really picking up. Yeah. Please suggest it to your friends. And I like how people are reaching out to Peter now. Reach out to him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Ask him what he's wearing at night yeah like like we mentioned in the beginning of the episode this episode the idea of this episode

was suggested by one of you uh so we we always we're always open to suggestions so please reach out to us and please stay tuned for the next episode